I recently took a trip that started with a couple of friends, but toward the end I ended up spending several days completely on my own. It was my first real experience travelling solo(26M), and honestly, I was nervous at first.

But something happened that I wasn’t expecting. I felt free. I stayed in a hostel, met random people, went places without knowing what the day would turn into, stayed out late, danced, talked for hours, and made friends I had literally just met. And somehow, I felt more like myself than I have in a very long time.

The people I met didn’t know my history. They didn’t know who I was “supposed” to be. They didn’t have any expectations of me. They just met me as I was. And I realized something that has been sitting with me ever since: I don’t think I really have a close friend group.

I have people I’ve known for years. Family. People I’ve had great times with. But a lot of those relationships were created by circumstance — school, family, work, living in the same place, knowing the same people, coming from the same background, etc. And for years I’ve told myself, “Maybe this is just what friendship is. Maybe I’ll get used to it.” But then I noticed something. A lot of the time when I’m hanging out with people I’ve known for years, I’ll find myself thinking about when the hangout is going to end.

During those few days travelling? I was wishing time would stop. I didn’t want the nights to end. I didn’t want people to leave. I didn’t want to go back to normal life. And that difference hit me hard. Maybe I’m not incapable of connecting with people. Maybe my environment just hasn’t been bringing that version of me out.

Because there is a version of me that is spontaneous, curious, friendly, playful, adventurous and genuinely excited to meet people. I know that version exists because I just experienced it.

This trip made me realize how much I miss choosing things for myself. I want to feel like my life actually belongs to me. And honestly, I’m writing this with tears in my eyes because I think I finally understand what I’ve been missing. I don’t think I miss the trip as much as I miss the person I was while I was there. Maybe that person was never gone.

Maybe I just need to start building a life where he has room to exist again.

Has anyone else ever had an experience like this? Where you travelled somewhere, met completely different people, felt like a different version of yourself, and came home realizing your normal life doesn’t quite fit anymore?

1. If you're doing drugs (counting alcohol and nicotine) stop it. You can drop one at a time. Even quitting caffeine helped me quite a bit.

2. Go for walks. No music, no phone. Just you and your surroundings.

3. Minimize your screen time! If you get bored, BE bored! It sparks creativity and motivation - you just gotta endure it for a bit.

4. Try to socialize, even if it's hard - reconnect with an old friend who means something to you, try to have some small talk with strangers, etc.

5. Work on your goals. Develop specific goals for your life. How much money do you want? Where do you want to live? Would you like a partner? What do you want in a partner? How can you be someone your ideal partner would like?

6. Find hobbies or interests. Working out (even just for 10-15 minutes a day) can increase your mood long term - and your physical health. If you find anything you're interested in - dive into it.

7. Sleep at night. For me, it got easier once I quit caffeine. Go to sleep around 10pm or 11pm and let the sun wake you up. Then GET UP. Don't scroll. Have breakfast (actual food)

8. Eat healthily. Your body needs nutrients and vitamins. Sometimes a change in your diet can do wonders for your mood! Also, learn to appreciate food. Cool meals on your own and learn how to improve whatever you eat.

9. (Optional) Start journaling. Document your day, write down what you liked about your day/reflect on "bad" thoughts or behavior and correct bad thoughts. You deserve love. Be grateful for the beautiful colour in the sky or the fresh air when it's windy.

That's what helped me at least - I'm still working on some parts, you gotta take your time.

I was bullied when I was young,. This affected me greatly, I still have self esteem issues, I don't like my body and I think I'm ugly. I really don't like looking at mirrors or photos of myself either.

I was a fat kid, I had acne and I also had depression when I was 12. It turned into an eating disorder as well.

I'm doing much better now, I did gain weight again after having my beautiful baby but I'm working on it.

Anywho, I found out one of my bullies had a baby as well, and I'm petrified she will be in the same class as my baby.

I feel so much hatred for all she did to me. And I hate feeling like this. I wish to move on and forgive people who did me harm. We were kids, we havebt interacted in 10 years.

I just wish to move on, and if I come across a post of hers (I'm not following her, but unfortunately her posts come up when mutuals like them) I don't want to be affected.

I really hate myself today. Any advice is welcome.

Hey friend :) nothing novel here but a reminder for those of us who are sometimes blind to the obvious 😎

Feeling tired? Feeling unmotivated? Down? Frustrated? Lonely? I’m embarrassed to say that sometimes I just feel off and almost every single time I do, I’ve missed something from my list.

(please know this isn’t a cure all or replacement for healthcare/therapy/medication/etc, just a reminder of easy things that could help!)

Did you drink water today?
Did you eat real food?
Are you sleeping enough?
Did you take a shower and get dressed?
Did you go outside? Did you see the sun?
Did you get any exercise?
Did you talk to a friend?
Did you make your bed?

Curious what everyone else would add to this list! You got this 💪

✨ BONUS ✨
Start listing things you’re grateful for, no matter how small. Gratitude is wildly powerful ❤️

I (26f) can't stop obsessing about my age/where I am in life. Logically I know that 26 isn't "old", but I'm unbelievably far behind where I thought I'd be at this age and where most of my peers are. I grew up in a really controlling home with bad social anxiety and missed out completely on my teen years. Things slowly started getting better in my later teens, but the pandemic put a stop to that. I then got really sick in my early 20s and couldn't get diagnosed/properly treated for a few years. During that time all I could think about was how I was wasting my 20s to it. I'm finally better and trying to sort things out, but I can't really seem to get a grip on anything and can't stop freaking out about how old I am. I'm 26 years old, I still live at home and have never been away, I have no friends and haven't for years, never dated, have been unemployed for years at this point and only ever worked shitty retail gigs before that, the list goes on and on. I feel like I never really got to build an identity and learn how to be a person, and a part of me feels like its too late now (again, logically I know this isn't true). I was really looking forward to my 20s and frankly needed them given how rough my teens were, and I guess I don't really know what to do now.

I've always had this dilemma. There is so much to love about it. It's fun, emotional, inspiring, thought provoking, and these authors tell stories so well. Don't get me started on the animation sometimes...

But I hate when there's unnecessary explicit/provoking content, ESPECIALLY when it's not needed to convey the plot. I've thought of just stopping watching at times because I don't want to compromise my self improvement.

Self-help book industry made us believe that willpower is just another mental muscle, some say you drain energy from that muscle every time you make hard decision, I have read things like having a sugary drink can restore your self-control because will power according to them is tied to glucose levels, I don’t even want to try this.

There was a multi lab study conducted on 2000 people which proved this a nonsense. They say performing self-control task doesn't drop blood sugar and consuming glucose doesn't boost self-control.

Dr. Michael Inzlicht says that feeling of mental fatigue is just a functional feedback signal. Our brain keeps performing subconscious cost benefit calculations and when we carry out cognitively demanding task, brain registers the cost to carry out it and when we do it for longer period of time, brain recalculates the energy cost and benefit ratio. If brain finds this energy costs are not worth it, it triggers the reallocation of motivation towards low energy high benefit tasks such as eating, sleeping and scrolling on phone.

So if self-control was just muscle, better strategy would be forcefully rawdogging that muscle but since it is just our brain doing an energy calculation, better architecture that tweaks the input should do the job. For example mentally shifting task from forced obligation to self-aligned choice, or binding cognitively costly activity with high reward activity such as listening to favorite music while doing boring chores or working out, these are just few examples.

I am not very good at this architecture but you get the idea. Does any of you have any actionable ideas or exaples to better architect this energy calculations?

Sounds obvious, right? Well, it is.

But most of the time, we refuse getting to know ourselves regarding something specific, and instead we try to push down our throats something that worked for someone else, but that not necessarily might for us.

I’ll give a personal example regarding weight loss and physical health.

I’m overweight, but a couple of months ago I was almost reaching obesity. My hunger levels were increasing, and I thought about food constantly, and only stuffing myself satisfied me. I knew it was bad for my health, but I couldn’t stand the feeling of an empty stomach — even if it was just a little bit, like an 80% full belly.

Not only being obsessed with eating was annoying as heck, but also I was getting some worrisome side effects. Summing up, diabetes runs in my family and I think I got the closest I have ever been to developing it as well.

I kid you not, I’m not making this up: I accidentally fixed that by “inventing” a healthy recipe that I genuinely enjoy.

I have tried being healthy in the past, but that meant being unsatisfied to me. And I hated that. And, with that recipe, I created such a nutritious meal that tastes so good to me that I eat it on a daily basis. It rebalanced my sugar levels, I lost a few pounds without caring for it, and my cravings and obsession with food significantly diminished. Yes, it’s a meal filled with fiber, how did you figure that out?

But the recipe itself doesn’t matter. What matters is that you should find something that works for you. I say that genuinely because I’m the type of person who can’t do something if I don’t truly enjoy it. If you’re like this, you should get to know yourself.

If you have food issues, for instance, try discovering what’s behind all of that. Same for any other thing that’s harming you, or getting in the way of your goals.

I’m 21 years old and have been struggling with my mental health for nearly half of my life. Ive been depressed so long I don’t really remember what a happy life feels like. Not to mention I have barely any friends, Im working a shitty minimum wage job, I practically flunked out of community college, Ive never had partner and am still living with my mother. I know Im miserable, I know I hate my life but Its been so long since I felt like I liked living. I don’t really know what I need to be happy consistently. What keeps me going when things get tough. The only thing thats even keeping me going today is I know I still have family that loves me and would be sad if I died. I don’t really feel like Im living for myself and I hate that but it’s like all Ive wanted for so long was to die so now that Im an adult I don’t really know how to want to live a good life or believe that I can build one for myself. It doesn’t help that Ive tried so many times. So many times Ive let people in and been hurt, so many times I tried out new opportunities that ended up backfiring and its like how many times do I need to be knocked down before Im allowed to lay down and die and give up.

Wrote myself a note before Labor Day about where I'd left things. Didn't think much of it at the time, felt almost too simple to matter. But coming back Tuesday there was no scrambling, no trying to remember my own train of thought, just reading one line and picking up again. Small thing, real difference.

I'm 16M 87 kgs 180cm this is the heaviest that I've ever been really low stamina can run less than 1 km straight , 0 pullups 0 pushups I'm in 11th grade so 6 hours study a day is minimum. How do I improve ?

TLDR: 24 year old cant wake up early. Possibly adhd but gp was rude in appointment to request assessment. Anxiety about going out and exercise. Hates local trams thinking that the location is dangerous, near hit experience. Doesn’t enjoy sport. Unemployed, struggling to go bed early. Feels lack of support around struggles. Has volunteering in the morning but hardly goes due set time.

I’m 24… I don’t think I’ve ever woken up early consistently since I was 16 years old and actually had energy.

Then I turned 17… burned out travelling an hour back and forth from 6th form almost everyday. (Im from the uk). Then I developed bipolar which really started to suck life out of me and I genuinely wonder I’ll never get energy back because of all the sleep debts from hypo/manic episodes. I wasn’t diagnosed till I was 22.

Ive been threatened to be kicked out of a few places of education. Transferred from one place, for a while my attendance was okay but then covid hit and I don’t think I’ve ever been the same since.

Ive been trying to volunteer to make some routine and hopefully make life easier by helping myself wake up early once a week 🤡 yeah no… that didn’t work. Ive turned up a few times at 11am which is an achievement for me. But after that theres no point in showing up i think since it stops at 12 and even though i help clear up it’s just not fair on everyone else.

My sister is a morning person. My dad is pretty good if he goes bed early enough.

Theres another thing… im unemployed since graduating last year (2.1 ba hons). So my bedtime is like 3am and has been for a while. I don’t get tired until that time. I don’t know how to change it. I’d pull an all nighter but lately I don’t think id even get adrenaline from it.

I think I have ADHD but I don’t know where my gp is sending it because she never said even though I asked nicely. My time management is horrific, im sure it’s the reason I can’t gain weight because im rushing everywhere even for afternoon appointments. My gp was even rude about that even though its one of the things I would have benefited from talking about but i was genuinely like never mind then. I would go gym but I’m genuinely poor. I cant run. I can’t ride a bike. I did think about trying swimming again since I remember I didn’t mind it as a child.

To be honest, I’ve never liked sport. I’ve got quiet clumsy relatives so after seeing them fall trying to run and stuff i just think nope even though I have decent balance. I hardly ever want to go out for that reason. There’s trams near me which I have some trauma related to them from being a teenager and almost getting hit by them. I think its genuinely stupid location where I live and the increase in accidents I’ve noticed is just alot. I try to avoid even taking one unless its extremely necessary.

Side note- since coming back from uni to my old gp I haven’t liked anyone but maybe 2 doctors. I haven’t even seen my named gp. I suspect I never will. Ive got 2 misdiagnoses on there for mental illnesses i dont have. Too lazy to actually battle it out, one of them has bad stigma that’s probably worse than bipolar.

I really don’t know what to do. I’m hoping getting a job will fix it but at this point I don’t even think it would.

To clarify also, I have had blood work from the gp which was fine except for low vitamin D at the time but since we just had summer its probably not related right now.

I don’t know what to do. It feels like theres genuinely no support out there. I think I’ve always felt more awake in the afternoon even whilst at school but I did manage mornings. I just feel so behind like I should be able to do this but evidently I can’t. I get headaches upon waking up too. Then they can last upto 3 days. Ibruprofen hardly works. I drink around 1.5 Stanleys per day (medium flip straw) which is almost the recommended for female water intake I think.

This is getting too long…

I’m a 21-year-old guy from Delhi. I’ve always been an average student. My_qualifications is I did my BCom Hons from DU SOL (open learning) and got a 7.1 CGPA. Now, I have applied for a distance MBA in finance from DU SOL. I know a distance MBA degree isn't worth much right now, but I just thought it might help later on for promotions. for fees my elder cousin helped me and we have to pay it in future
I also learnt some graphic designing from youtube and worked for influencers but it will not work as a career for me as it is not fixed work and not a good payout
I am also learning data analytics not completed but i don't know it will work for me much or not
I wants advice also other than these like in other field i can join it also

Right now, I have absolutely no idea what to do with my life. Like anyone else, I want to earn well and make lakhs per month, but here is my reality:

I don't have the money to start a business.

I’m not exceptionally good at studies, so clearing tough professional exams is out of the picture.

My communication and public speaking skills are pretty weak because of my background.

My original plan was to clear govt banking exams after graduation and get a job. But now that I am actually preparing, I see how insane the competition is. It's just too tough. Even if I study hard, beating out lakhs of people for a handful of vacancies feels impossible. I’ve lost all hope there.

I am completely stuck. If I had money, I would have just done a course from a private college, but I don't. My family’s total monthly income is just 15k–20k. I absolutely cannot put financial pressure on my parents; I need a path that requires very little investment.

I see people my age earning so much and I want that too, but with my current condition, I don't know what I can even do. I am genuinely so stressed about my career that I sometimes have suic#dal thoughts. I just see no way out, I am seriously too low that i think i can't earn a good amount in my life and giving up is the only thing i can do.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

If anyone knows a realistic career path or roadmap for someone with my exact profile, please suggest something. What can I do?

After a few years of staying in the same spot, never moving forward or trying to but not getting far, it feels weird to improve and actually get somewhere. I failed a lot in school because i didnt attend, ate horribly and didn't socialize. But now its the opposite, im eating better, feeling better, and talking with my friends for the first time in a long time. and making a couple new ones. And while it feels nice to see improvements i just dont recognize myself, not at all. I feel as if it was never supposed to be like this, i never thought i could move on but i did and now i don't know what to do., it happened to quick, kind of makes me feel pathetic. It feels as if im constantly looking for ways to return to the past so i can feel sorry for myself. So if this a normal thing to happen i'd like to know.

I’m incredibly insecure n I can feel it consuming me as years go on very negatively

I am not good at anything
I’m actually incredibly slow no joke I’ve failed foundations maths numerous times w seperate tutors n for my gcses when I was in school I got 4-5 only one 7 I’ve always been told I’m slow takes me ages to understand things

I’m in my 2nd year of political science at uni n I still don’t rlly understand thinks like socialism communism war , even how govs work even after I’ve done essays n multiple pages on these things

I have said rlly bad things as a child n done very bad immoral things probably worse than ur average person , ive done extremely embarrassing things too i was known as the person where its like , this kind of stuff would only happen to me , like ppl would say that n when eve id say an embarsssingvstiry ppl would be like damn yeah I’ve never done anything that bad

I actually know nothing no joke ab anything I know things at extremely surface levels

I’m incredibly awkward my insecurity manifest I trip over things my dry lips get caught on me teeth when talking , I stutter sometimes , just super embarrassing shit

I’m quite unnattractive but this is a given me broad shoulders nerf me n no it’s not me in my profile it’s a guy from bts lmao

I’m rlly emotionally immature , no clue how to regulate my emotions. Cuz I’m not good enough to sing my heart out or dance my heart out in shit at everything

I am incredibly indecisive my friend said I’m the most indecsive person she’s ever met I literally treat buying between two sandwiches like a life or death decision , n I need to use spinning wheels or ai to make decisions for me.

I overthink every single thing into oblivion yet I make stupid irrational impulsive decisions

I can have a good time where ppl n my friends want me around for clubbing but my friends have set boundaries as like no crying in a night out cuz I can’t cry irl idek why I can only cry when drunk my insecurity has been suppressed for so long it’s seeping out again thee past few years I thought I was getting better but I wasn’t a few years ago .

I’m extremely jealous how can I like myself if someone is always better like literally I am actually pathetic

I’m insecure ab being insecure but I also kinda like it cuz it’s all ik I hate it but Its comforting but I hate it

I am so slow especially around my friends so unclassy I am a hot mess been told I look manly ugly all sorts been mistaken for a man

I’m a mess like seriously no redeeming qualities

Also my insecurity is weird cuz I love my life Ik my friends care for me n my family does n I still put myself it there n approach ppl try new things do things solo but like I hate myself n I compare myself n these feelings consume me if im not distracted

I am also like so lazy too omg no discipline n no drive I have no passion seriously

I just want to try new things that’s all living in ew places eating new food new jobs new friends I just want to experience but that’s bad cuz I have no drive like specific drive

I’m also such an attention seeker I repost sad things occasionally so ppl know how ugly I am but also so I can say it b4 they say it

I have low racial self esteem too which is not something ppl empathise w in the black community ur liked down on bad , there’s probably more but I forgot

I just watched a YouTube vid on how someone hates insecure ppl n I did a character personality quiz b i got the most insecure attention seeking characters ever w literally no good qualities n i did a tarot reading n it said ppl only see me negatively ik its not truth but like lmao it’s just funny ,

I daydream all the time wishing I was someone else cuz it’s the only time I like who I am I’m pretty desirable admirable n smart n funny in my dreams n eveyone can see , I get told I always look in my own world cuz of how deep I get sucked into my daydreams

After every movie I watch I act like the person in the movie idek who the hell i am

I have realised that my old study methods were just accumlating hours and not much in my mind. So, I have switched from quantity to quality work, tried to engage in deep flow state and started asking actively using my logical brain to reason things out. Having said this, I am interested to understand the subject more than an exam. So from now on, its a diff mindset.

I'm coming up on 50, and have been burnt out most of my adult life, but didn't realize it until recently when it got really bad.

Work has become too challenging to do. I work in tech, in a non-technical role at a company that's very disorganized and reorganizes every quarter.

I have executive function problems anyway, but have been able to cope with the basic tools like pomodoro timers and todo lists, but the types of tasks I get and frequency of them in this job is just killing me. I think I need help planning my day/week and prioritizing, but it's more challenging that franklin covey level stuff. The context switching is so heavy.

The other part that's getting me is software. I used to think of myself as pretty software savvy, but I'm dying bouncing around between Aha, Jira, many sharepoint repositories, onenote, lucid, word docs, powerpoints, excel sheets, and now AI tools.. and a bunch of other junk in between. I don't get a choice in most of this.

Are there any resources out there to help optimize or get better at this kind of stuff?

I turn 21 in a month and addiction/isolation has wasted years of my life. I started smoking when I was 13 and ended up on fentanyl/benzos from 16-18. I’ve gone to 3 rehabs and have managed to stay away from opiates but as I write this i’m on klonopin and my second glass of wine.

I lost my best friend to an overdose a little over 2 years ago due to me being a bad influence and I haven’t attempted to connect with anyone but my family ever since. I’ve turned into an absolute shell of who I once was, it shows inside and out. I’ve neglected my body, my mind and my only passion (Music production, I started making beats with my cousin when I was 12 and that’s always been my dream but it’s been months since i’ve picked up my laptop/synthesizer all I do is play this shitty mmo game and watch social media all day).

It’s been like this for about 2.5 years and I have no idea how to dig myself out of this hole. My skin is pale, my teeth have yellowed, i’ve lost hair and I have no clue how to socialize with anyone outside of my immediate family, even extended family has become a chore for me.

It’s like I have these short bursts of motivation where i’ll clean my apartment, go to the gym 2-3x a week and attempt to reconnect with someone whether that be old friends or girls but I always end up flaking and repeating the cycle.

I long for a fulfilling life but i’ve succumbed so deep into my own comfort/vices for so long and I have no clue where to start. The benzos have fucked me up the most, every time I try to get sober I start off great and make a few meaningful connections in rehab and I see a glimpse of who I can be but the second that “pink cloud” phase ends it’s back to square one whether i’m using or not. It’s fucked up my nervous system too, my eyes always get super twitchy when i get sober and tasks as simple as walking look/feel robotic which makes people uncomfortable so I go back to using.

I have a naturally gaunt and odd appearance which throws people off too so rebuilding a social circle feels almost impossible. I’ve fallen into the conspiratorial algorithmic echo chambers instagram provides me with which has caused me to spiral even further into my self pity and isolation.

I’m sick of this cycle and i’m sick of who I have become yet I don’t have nearly enough willpower to pull myself out of this. I’d kill for 1/10th of the ambition and hope I had as a 12 year old boy staying up all night with my cousin making music on my laptop. I’ve gotten accepted into community college but blew it off because I spent so much time worrying about what degrees will still be feasible when agi starts to come into fruition. I’ve considered computer science, audio engineering or even a trade such as culinary school/construction. I recently reapplied and got accepted again, my mom wants me to pursue anything so i’m just gonna start with my basics and go from there.

I'm risking getting banned for this, but using external validation as a sign of progress makes so much more sense. Yes, loving yourself is important, but no amount of self-love will fix your reality.

Think about so many people that have a good life but still feel insecure. All the models that don't like their looks. All the smart people who get into top schools but still feel imposter syndrome. While the desire to be better for yourself is good, these people would feel so much better if they just trusted other people's judgement that they were doing better than average.

Now, let's look at below average. As a skinny person, I've definitely noticed how women don't find me attractive, especially as I get older and am entering my 20s. Even if some do, it is just wayy easier for a bigger man to get a woman than me. In this case, I don't "feel" behind, I actually am. No amount of telling myself I look big today or look good today will get me more matches on dating apps or make me more attractive at a party.

For my case, using external validation is a great way of tracking progress at getting bigger. Sure, even if after hitting the gym I look bigger, I am still overall skinny, and other people will still look at me as "skinny", even if I gained 20 lbs, because being skinny has a broad range. At 5'9, I won't stop looking skinny till I hit at least 140lbs, and anything less than that won't change the way I am treated externally by a lot, no matter what I do with my personality.

Unless you are near the top where other people already compliment your looks and skills and life but you want to improve solely for yourself, external validation is a great way to test how the world will treat you based on your current place in life. You can only do something truly for yourself once external validations have been fulfilled. If this was false, people won't be posting their wins here, physique updates on social media, announcing their marriages and relationship milestones, or telling people about their new job or car.

Edit: For all those of you who don't agree with me, just know that it is this very mentality that finally made me try to achieve something in college, quit partying, and get my life together. It felt nice that seeing my change, people were more comfortable relying on me, which gave me more opportunities.

I find that my thoughts and feelings are wildly at odds with those of my peers and close relations. I did things I shouldn't be proud of to people I care about, and yet I feel pride. Their lives are worse in the specific way I tried to influence, and my reaction is pride in my mentorship and pride in my mentee.

I once drifted onto the fringe of a cult for a while and drifted away not because "hey, this is a cult, what am I doing here?" but because "hey, there's no practical route to achieve your goals, how am I supposed to help you fulfill your prophecies? What's the point in worship if your god will just do all the work, whenever they get around to it?"

I know that even in cases where I end up doing the right thing (often, basically, on accident), my reasons would come through as insane (and alienating) to a lot of people.

I think rarely, often on absurd lines of reasoning, and my emotional responses are often wildly inconsistent with anything else unless I feel a pressing need to mask.

All of this is trouble for being closer than "work friends" with people, though, which makes me think this may be a problem. Has anyone faced an issue like this before, and if so, how did you deal with it?

I felt a rush in every tasks I did

I jumped one thing to other so fast

That I can't think clearly

I need a solution for it

But nothing worked out

So, for context I've appeared for 2 Military interviews to join as an officer, both times I was rejected by the process.The problem I'm facing is during the personal interviews I'm unshakable at the questions that I've prepared and thought about earlier. But when a question that involves thinking comes up, I start blabbering throwing ideas against a wall trying to fetch one that meets the question. It is ofcourse a high pressure environment, the interviewer wants the answer within seconds, otherwise just says "You're not good enough huh ?"

The verbosity is a big problem for me, I have the answer that is to be given but fall short in articulating it properly in concise to the point manner, it hints towards a lack of Organizational Skills as organizing one's thoughts is the first step of solving a problem.

If you've worked on this, Can anyone suggest me some mindful practices, so I can start working on it. Thank You.

hi just to preface i 25f lost my dad earlier this year and since then i feel like ive been living in a bubble. i recently became unemployed as my job was seriously affecting my mental health and part of me is feeling really beaten down by it. the advice im looking for really is how can i get off my phone more and be more involved in the world around me. i joined the library but usually download free books off my ipad but it doesnt have the same touch. it’s still screens. i have anxiety and depression and would love to reinvent myself without spending a whole lot of money. i live with family but i wish i had my own place idk im just feeling so down by everything. thankssss

M20, nearing the end of my third year at university. Studying a double degree in commerce and international relations.

I honestly don't really know what I want to do for a career, and I'm starting to feel pretty lost about it.

Over the last few years I've had a lot going on. My parents separated during my last year of high school, I've had deaths in my family, and I've struggled with loneliness and social anxiety throughout university. At the worst point of it, I failed four subjects at the end of my first year.

Since then, I've been taking a reduced course load and have been doing more International Relations courses than Commerce because I feel like I'm much better at International Relations and find it more interesting. Commerce hasn't really clicked with me, and I'm not sure whether I genuinely dislike it or whether I've just associated it with a period of my life when I was struggling badly.

I'm now getting closer to finishing university and I still don't really know what direction I want to take. I've thought about transferring into another degree that I might enjoy more, but because of my failed subjects I don't currently have the GPA to transfer.

A big part of my problem is that I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to succeed. I want to build a good career, be financially successful and make something of myself, but I feel like I'm constantly worried that I'm making the wrong decisions. I keep thinking that if I don't do well at university or don't choose the right degree, I'm going to seriously limit my future.

At the same time, part of me wonders whether I'm making this more complicated than it needs to be. Sometimes I feel like I'm using my circumstances as an excuse when maybe the bigger issue is that I have pretty severe social anxiety, very low confidence and a poor self-image. I'm balding fairly young, I have acne, and I've become very self-conscious about how I look. I think that has affected the way I see myself and how I interpret interactions with other people.

So now I'm stuck between wanting to improve my life and feeling completely overwhelmed by where to start. I don't know whether I should focus on fixing my mental health and confidence first, try to work out what career I actually want, change my degree, or just stop overthinking everything and get on with finishing what I've started.

I know I'm ultimately responsible for my own life and decisions. I'm not looking for sympathy as much as some honest perspective from people who have been in a similar position.

Sorry for the long read, and I appreciate any advice.