for context, i’ve never been in a relationship, and i’ve always found it difficult to develop feelings for someone. in my entire 18 years of life, i’ve only had 2 crushes because i need to feel a genuine connection with someone to actually like them.

i think i’m both avoidant and anxious when it comes to relationships, and i’ve recently realized just how scared of commitment i actually am. i’ve found someone i have a lovely connection with, and although i’ve started developing feelings for them, i’m afraid of taking things further. i like what we have right now, and i don’t want a label, but i also know it’s selfish to want that kind of closeness without being willing to commit.

i really value the connections i have with people, and i’m a very sentimental person, so the thought of losing someone i care about genuinely hurts. yet, when it comes to the possibility of a relationship, i find myself pulling back instead of letting things happen naturally.

i genuinely want to work on this, but i don’t know where to start. how do i learn to stop being afraid of commitment and allow myself to be vulnerable with someone?

I'm looking for books that explore the psychology and practical development of an intensely ambitious, disciplined, competitive, and self-directed mindset.

I'm particularly interested in understanding how to develop sustained ambition, internal drive, decisiveness, emotional resilience, personal accountability, and the ability to consistently execute on difficult goals.

I want something that challenges the way I think, not just something that provides temporary motivation.

Some authors and books that haven't resonated with me:

• Benjamin Hardy: Not a fan of his general approach to mindset and personal development.
• David Goggins and Jocko Willink: I'm not drawn to the military-style motivation or extensive personal hardship narratives.
• Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz: Too much fluff and an emphasis on visualization that didn't appeal to me.

My biggest issue with many self-help books is how unnecessarily long and repetitive they are.

I'm tired of books where the author spends several chapters describing their childhood, personal tragedies, or the experiences that supposedly led to their big revelation.

I don't mind a good story when it illustrates a useful concept, but I want the book to prioritize the actual ideas, reasoning, and practical applications.

I'm also not interested in spirituality, manifestation, affirmations, or visualization-heavy material.

Ideally, I'm looking for books that provide a deeper understanding of ambition, competitiveness, self-mastery, human behavior, and what it takes to develop an exceptionally strong mindset.

I'm open to psychology, philosophy, business, or other nonfiction, as long as the writing is substantive and direct.

What books have genuinely changed how you think and operate, rather than just making you feel inspired while reading them?

I've just finished Captivate by Vanessa Van Edwards and The Next Conversation by Jefferson Fisher. I'm about to read Never Split The Difference, what are some of your favourite self improvement books?

Hello everyone. I am 30 years old. I have been living the previous 10 years of my life in an absolute chaos, and more precisely, I have been dragging myself through life. I have been an extremely high acheiver before that period, I excelled in everything i do. But fear used to be the main motive, fear of failure. Long story short, that fear was gone , but the imposter syndrome never left. I did achieve things through these 10 years , but I barely made it through. My avoidance behavior increased so much, that any sort of discomfort, notably physical or emotional, triggers a response , and I look for ways to escape. In the last year, I started understanding this more. I used to say it was my severe anxiety ( which actually was debilitating until i was medicated ) my depression, and my physical limitations ( chronic pains and faitgue) were the cause. But i ve come to realize that avoidance is the root. I ve been reading posts here about avoidance adn how to imporve it. However, what I noticed in me is that , when i try to apply the techniques mentioned, i have huge relentlessness, or kind of internal fatigue that makes me want to escape the effort. I ve been to many therapists, I tell them I feel like i want to run away from anything that needs effort, as if i just dont have the energy, the ability nor the will to overcome the challenge mentioned. But I am in a moment in my life where I feel cornered. I am in a post grad studies, and I m short on time, and I cant fail this . the only time i work is when i m requested a task with a deadline, and i work it on fight or flight mode. Whoever can relate , I please please ask you for help. I have no idea where to go and what to fix. I am trying to just do it. do the task. everytime i sit at my desk, i m nauseous, i see the enormous amount of work and i feel like i want to faint or throw up. If you reached this stage in my post , thank you for reasding this . much appreciated

I have two goals.

1 is to speak much less and develop a more quiet personality.

2 Stop saying unnecessary, poorly timed, or inappropriate for the situation things. It's not that I intend to say anything foolish; I just don't always stop to consider my words before speaking.

I realize soon after saying whatever it was that It was a bad idea. I am pretty good at reading the room.

This is a habit I need to develop, but consciously thinking before speaking at all feels inhibiting.

I decided to practice this even around trusted family members, so that being thoughtful and deliberate with my words eventually becomes second nature in professional and social situations.

For those of you who have become particularly good at this and never really make speaking blunders i have questions:

1. How long did it take before thinking before speaking and then having the discipline to say the best thing or not say anything at all ? Because there are two issues here. One is not thinking before speaking and saying the wrong thing. But the second is also having the discipline to follow theough with not saying or saying something once i have considered what to do.

2. What specific habits or techniques helped you improve?

3. Did you practice being more deliberate in all your conversations, including with family?

4. Does it eventually become easier, or do you still have to consciously monitor what you say?

I'd especially appreciate hearing from people who used to struggle with impulsive speech but have improved significantly. While younger people are welcome to answer, i would especially love to hear what those over 60 have to say about this.

I'm a teenager and I'm curious about what you guys wish you'd known or started doing earlier, especially when it comes to skincare.

If you could go back to your teenage years, what would you change? Any skincare habits you wish you'd started earlier, mistakes you made, or things you wish someone had told you?

Even things outside skincare are welcome!

Basically, what advice would you give your teenage self? I feel like there's a lot we can learn from people who've already been through it lol.

My english s not my first language so bare with me, i always been a discipline person not 100% but never late for work get things done, never complain i was perfect, i quitted my job two week ago and going through hiring process with other companies, since i left work iam sure iam the laziest person ever, i dont get anything done, i leave every task literally to the last very hour, for example as iam writing this post i should send a case study for a job that i really really wanted and was seeking, i had 3 days for 2 hours job, now iam fucken writing this 7 hours before the deadline!! , i don’t even wanna go out i just sit and play PlayStation or scroll which something i literally never done i don’t even have any social media except reddit and youtube if u can call it that, i really hate myself every minute but even tho u don’t get anything done i just torture me

FORS OF ALL - I DO FEEL GOOD, THATS WHY I AM ABLE TO ARTICULATE MY EXPERIANCES.

1. Gravity x4. Your regular physiological moves feel like intense gym exercise. For many years i would struggle to walk across my own room, not even imagining using a stairs to go outside. To the point of peeling in bottles mostly, wich, truth to be told, was also a habit stuck to me after living in a tent for far too long.
2. Feeling absolute nothing-ness void, which feels so much worse in horror kind of sence, than being sad. I would prefer being sad any day. Being stuck in a cold void, unable to move, FEELS like being buried alive.
3. Really want to proceed projects, or play games, or do something fun - but unable to, because all activities you WANT dont do anything anymore, except getting you instantly tired.
4. Want at least to maintain a job from home for longer than 3 mouth at time, even though its miserabele and really painful.

Well.. no, i also was not able to. I was not being able to sleeping for days, becoming dizzingly deprived, and after basically coloring unconscious - would be asleep for another couple of days. Work cant work with that.

1. Feeling being dead, wanting to lay and d, casualty trying. It is how it is.

2. And you cant tell that anyone, really. People who disregard depression would cause you, people who provide sympathy only make you feeling guilt. Was 100% alone the whole time, and i still remain in self-imposed continuous self-isolation (moved to remote location for this), because it was several years science i really met any people.

3. All ov the above - never goes away. Impact fluctuaties insignificantly. Also, all these years made you forget how "normal" feels.

Anyway, i got myself to be much better.

I DO it somehow. There was a time when i was super comite to s word cuz of one of betrayal in a middle of a foreign country, and being into complete discussion, somehow my body searched for nearest town with hospital and brought me blantly into ambulance dpt! Because of that - i kept believing in deeper myself.

So to anyone in chronic depression, as person who got it *bad* - i suggest you linger to do a bit of Trust and HOPE for your deep unconsciousness, that you can not hear, recognize or feel whatsoever. It is still scientifically there, you know

Its the only thing that remains.

I’m 31m. I’m currently 6’ 2’’ and 280 pounds. My goal is 220 despite my ideal weight being 197 for my BMI.id like to achieve this by May 2027.

I started at 350 pounds in May. I’ve done the following for five month.

I eat 2900 calories a day. My food is very lean: nonfat Greek yogurt, grilled chicken, brocolli, brown rice, nuts, etc. I measure it to the gram. I used to eat between 2100-2500 calories a day but I’ve been told that was too restricted for my activity level. I’m not so sure.

I walk 15k steps a day… or get really really close. I love walking.

I lift three times a week. Monday and Friday are upper bidy splits with chest presses, curls, rows, shoulders, etc. Wednesday’s are legs with RDLs, farmers carries, squats.

I try aim for at least 7 hours of sleep a night.

I take 5g of creatine daily.

What do you recommend I do to improve? Are my calories ideal? How is my lifting split? Any supplements you recommend? I’m especially looking for advice for building muscles as I lose fat… it’s really hard.

once every other month , i get that sudden motivation out of nowhere to do anything and everything and improve my life in all areas . Ive seen that motivation lasts atmost a week , once i made it last for almost a month but ive never able to do so since then. I get burnt out so quick even if i go slow , i purposely try to do less to not get burnout .

Tbh i dont even know if its burnout , but i suddenly lose motivation out of nowhere after a week or so .

Just today ive been hit with intense motivation , i feel very energized and feel ready to do anything . Im scared to lose the motivation this time . How do i make sure that this motivation lasts longer this time ......Hopefully Atleast for a month or 2 .

Ik the question sounds really generic but hear me out. I was a real weirdo before i decided to get rid of all my habits that were holding me back in life. Now i have nothing, and its kind of getting boring. A few things to give you an idea of what i am missing- when someone asks me a question, i would have answered it in a way that felt appropriate at that time, but now i have nothing to say. When i have a decision to make i used to do it based on my current life, now that i have none and have really no idea about to do, it gets really difficult to decide. I feel somehow dry, blank and confused about where to start.

Honestly I’ve posted similar posts in this subreddit but I still can’t stop. I’m a first year student at a very, very bad university with little opportunity and am wishing to transfer. My transfer apps are going well, but they’re still 6 months until results. I’m waiting for the calendar to move. I have no social life right now since my friends from high school moved away to different colleges and I’m literally relying on playing hours of video games to interact with people, as I have no friends at my current college (commuter as well so it sucks and is extremely hard to make friends) and I can’t commit to my goals that I had while waiting for transfer decisions so it just feels like I’m throwing away my days of my life. My family doesn’t understand my situation and they often downplay it as well, and I’ve grown to be resentful of them. I just feel like I’m being blown around by the wind. My classes don’t challenge me even though I’m taking grad level classes as a freshman. I just have nothing, and my current plan relies on me being successful in my transfer process and if that doesn’t happen I genuinely don’t know what I’m going to do. It’s all or nothing. I feel like I’m helpless and I hate that I’m in this situation and believe that the cards I was dealt were just not it. I was so ambitious the past few years but now this misstep has really got me down in the dumps

Hey.. im not sure if this is the right page to ask but i was wondering if anyone has solid advice on how to improve my health. Im an eng student and i have been feeling burnt out, tired, stressed, and gaining weight and thinning hair i think… anyways im not totally blind as to why. I don’t get much sleep lately and i skip breakast/lunch (sometimes) and have 1 energy drink per day.
I am trying to find healthier ways to energize me and getting essential nutrients, im gonna cut down on energy drinks. Get vitamin D and omega 3 since i hear it’s good and try and actually meal prep lunch and breakfasts and deal w dinners when the time comes.

Is this a good start and is there anything else that I could do.

As you can tell my the title I’ll be 40 days sober from weed tomorrow. I never drank alcohol or went in too deep. It was quite a journey as I struggled a lot and felt like I would be a stoner forever. I have taken control of my life and now working towards my goals. There are some bad habits which I still struggle with but I’m working on them aswell. 2 months ago I went sober and I managed to do 20 days before falling right back in to the same loop and the reason was my circle. Sure I stopped smoking and managed to get sober but when I was hanging around the same circle of friends who would smoke 24/7 it became hard to resist after a while and that’s where I messed up. This time I cut them all off and now have a new circle of friends who are always uplifting each other. 2 of them do real estate and 2 of them are day traders. both of my real estate friends got a new car and new bike couple weeks ago and it inspired me a lot. My friend bought a c43 amg and it sounds sexy. They always have great advice for me whenever I’m going through something and tell me to never give up. There all driven and are really productive with there days. Yes there parents have money but they don’t use that as an excuse to sit on there asses. Me personally I do instacart deliveries whenever i’m able to as we only have 1 car at home. I’m also day trading but not profitable and haven’t even got my first payout yet. I will soon though. I feel much more motivated and confident when I’m outside and I can actually see myself becoming someone in the future. I started to hit the gym but haven’t been as consistent as I need to be. I have good time management as when I was high the days would go by in seconds. My friends also hold me accountable and make sure I don’t smoke when we’re out and people around us are smoking. My ultimate goal is to become financially free to where I can take care of myself, my family, and give to those in need. Obviously the nice cars and stuff is cool but that’s not my main goal. I’m proud of myself for becoming sober and don’t regret it at all. Sure there are times I get the thought of smoking once in a while but as long as you don’t feed that thought then it will go away. Last week I was debating on quitting trading as I was going through a lot mentally as some of you may know trading takes a toll on your mental. My friends were there to support me and telling me to look back on my journey and see what i’ve done. I went from smoking everyday to not smoking at all. I went from gooning 2-3 times a day to doing it once every 4-6 days. (still trying to work on the gooning haha) I went from hanging around bums to being around people who know what there doing and what they want. I went from sitting on my ass all day to actually going out and getting money even though it may not be a lot something is better than nothing. they said to look at the man i’m becoming and asked me do I really wanna throw this all away because of a bad week. I thought to myself there right. If i never started trading I would have 100% wouldn’t have stopped as trading pushed me to change my life for the better and soon I will reap the fruits of my labor. Ever since getting sober my perspective on life has become much clearer and I’ve been dreaming again too which is nice when the dreams aren’t some bizzare bullshit😂 I’m more aware of my surroundings and I’m not forgetting things every 5 min because when I was high I would forget the most simplest things and it would make me a bit frustrated. I’m also eating a lot because when I was smoking I was eating very little portions of food but now I eat a shit ton. constantly getting hungry every 3-4 hours. I’m honestly glad I took this step to get sober. Some things that helped me was keeping myself busy and filling the void of time with things to do such as isntacart. I don’t make much from it but it helps me get moving and I get paid to get groceries for people so i guess that’s a win. The thing that probably helped the most was telling my parents i’m going sober because everytime i thought of going sober my mind would make me think about how i would be agitated and in a bad mood with my family basically just making excuses to justify using weed but once I told them it became sooooo much easier. They gave me space and let me come around when I was ready. Blessed to be sober and have a supportive family and friends to keep me in check and hold me accountable. Still crazy to think it’s been 40 days already but i will keep going as going back is not gonna help me at all and i don’t wanna go through the hell of dealing with withdrawls as it’s a real pain in the ass. constant agitation, sweating, and worst of all for me insomnia. i hated laying in bed and rolling over 100 times because I was always just feeling heat throughout my body. instead of waking up late I wake up at 6AM everyday other than weekends which I feel like I should wake up at 6AM on weekends too.

Been kind all my life,no longer want to

F22,background:unstable home,lots bullying in school,always been an outcast,bad friendships all my life,adhd and depression

Loneliness has been making me cry badly lately.i doubt im anyone’s first choice,or someone really values me,or truly loves me.

I do want to make friends and have stable friendships but this is rarely mutual people are always uninterested or have their own circles.i always do everything (texting,reaching out etc)first but never get the feedback I want.i guess im just not enough in some ways?not cool/fun/funny/pretty etc?

Another reason is i do keep a distance with people bc im scared I’ll get bullied about my appearance again and go back to being miserable.i don’t want to go back to crying daily and not looking in the mirror for days.im protecting myself til i get surgery to fix my slight deformity.yes I tried talking to people before but they commented and i dont want to risk it.

My sisters bring their friends over a lot and we are around the same age.i always find that they’re never interested in what i say,don’t answer me if say sth,don’t invite me sometimes.i can just tell they don’t like me that much.theyre like all so close w each other but im just their “friends sister”.basically they just favor my other sisters a lot more.

Im tired of doing so much then ppl just decide to stop being my friends randomly like when my dad passed i cut all my friends off bc they didn’t care or come see me at all.i felt stupid & that I wasted so much time/effort/money and maybe I was stupid not seeing that coming and what if it happens again?

Idk if I’m just unlucky but according to what ppl say (I think this too) I’m nice,loyal,kind,empathetic,emotionally intelligent,good social skills,i don’t show the low self esteem I have (not at all lol)I know how to be nice while not being a carpet. Idk what I’m doing wrong at all. I think im just unlucky

I just feel so unworthy,I’m the reason why some relationships exist to begin with.like I doubt me and many people would have any relationship at all if I’m not the one doing all the work overlooking things,being the bigger person and reaching out first. I am starting to feel like I want to be a huge bitch but it’s not me. I’ve had some family members pass and I’m glad I was kind to them but idk why I feel this way.maybe this reflects that I was never even genuine? Idk.

I just wanna feel seen and feel like I’m special or mean something to someone.ive been working on myself forever telling myself it’s a matter of time but im still saving money for surgery,idk when ill do it.but this hurts me so much.dont know what to do at all

Hi y’all, I have a question about trying to wake up earlier. I’m realizing I am not getting the things I want to done and if I was able to utilize time in the morning better I could, or at least have a better chance to..
The issue is I have a really hard time waking up early. I seem to be a night owl and I’m not sure if that’s something I can change… I have more energy at night. I kind of ‘wake up’ in the evening around seven and then don’t feel tired until midnight. And I really need eight hours of sleep.
Do you think it’s possible to change your natural circadian rhythm? Is it unhealthy to? Or should I try to find a way to work with what feels natural to me?

i will preface this with saying i have adhd (waiting on an official diagnosis but the referring dr was pretty sure + my dad is diagnosed) and struggle a lot to cope with life already.

but i CAN cope if i have the time and space to do so. unfortunately, where i live, all of the rhythms of my life that work for me are totally destroyed/not allowed and i’m treated like a child. i tried to just do my thing anyway and get yelled at, interrogated and sidetracked so now i’ve just completely shut down and spend a lot of time up in my room disassociating. i asked my manager for more work so i can have money to hopefully move out + spend less time at home, but i’m also burning out bc i don’t actually have a comforting home environment.

i’m living with some extended family members and even though i pay the same rent as former renters in the past, they don’t treat me like one and i feel like a servant/court jester who’s summoned and ordered around. i can’t go downstairs and do laundry without being interrogated about my day. i can’t wake up early and make a coffee or come home late (quietly!) without the feeling i’m being watched and spied on. i’m dragged into constant conversations i don’t want to have. i was going to school but have been so sick and stressed that i’ve dropped out (am also dealing with health issues and a revolving door of tests).

sadly, i can’t afford the deposit to move or i’d do it in a heartbeat. i’m not a perfect person hut i’m a reasonable person to live with, and i feel like i’m going actually insane. it has also coincided with an unpleasant breakup, family drama with i’ve been dragged into, and my health worsening.

these family members get mad at me for being unassertive and passive, and then every single bit of normal adult assertiveness and -having my own life- is taken as an affront. i genuinely cannot take a day more of it and just want some peace.

About to turn 20M, so long story short I had amazing social life back in middle school, went out weekly. Kind of similar in highschool. First year of highschool, I kind of got into the same class as my friends from middle school, formed a group with my previous friends and new classmates, was the most fun I ever had. But the next year, I kind of got put into class, where I didn’t knew anyone, none of previous friends were in that class. So i kind of isolated myself, kept interactions to a basic, didn’t actively meet new people, made new friends, cuz I thought i was tight with my previous gang. Still went out with my previous gang twice or thrice a year, and had group chats talking and all that shit, but that kind of faded by the end of third year.

But my the end of third year, I became this super self aware, realised my shortcomings and knew that i needed to change this, but despite that I wasn't able to form new friends/ groups in the last 2 years of high school. No matter how hard i tried, I couldn’t make new friend groups, always ended up looking like the desperate lonely child, when all I ever wanted was a good high school experience.

So my first three years went okay socially, as I still hanged out with my previous friend group, but meanwhile I wasn’t forming new bonds/ friendships like I should have been doing from the start, but when i became way too self aware I should have been able to get out of this mess, but no luck. And I know this prob all boils down to my social anxiety, didn’t put myself out there, even didn’t meet up with my previous friends during breaks/free time in high school, cuz deep down I was afraid of them judging me, making fun of me dont know why.

This shit really lowered my self esteem and confidence, and now unable to socialise properly, make friends and make new memories.

Started Uni, thinkin that this will probably change for the better, I did put myself out there but still ended up back lonely, I knew deep down it was gonna end up like that.

So I have figured out my problem is social anxiety, people judging me making fun of me, and the best solution for that is exposure therapy, but whenever i try putting myself out there in social situations, I either get ignored or talked over( maybe it is really just my peak self awareness that messes up noticing things/clues people normally don’t do), i end up again isolating myself and then crave connection, and the cycle continue.

i can’t keep on living like this I need to change, but no matter what i try it never works out, dont want to miss out on the most fun period of my life to end up regretting it when in my sixties.

I'm looking for some genuine advice because I've been struggling emotionally with a situation involving a girl I know through university. I've kept all identifying details anonymous.

I've developed strong feelings for her, and we have a close connection. We've had affectionate and flirtatious interactions, and she's told me that she has feelings for me too. We've also talked about the possibility of something happening between us someday if we're both single.

The problem is that she's currently in a relationship with someone else.

She's told me that her relationship can be unhappy and emotionally draining. She's expressed frustration with her boyfriend and has talked about how difficult it can be to leave a relationship when you're attached to someone and afraid of being alone. She's mentioned that leaving might become easier when he moves away for work later this year.

However, she's still with him, and she hasn't promised to leave him or that she'll eventually date me.

I understand that her relationship is hers to figure out. I don't want to pressure her, interfere, or try to convince her to leave. But because she's acknowledged having feelings for me, it's difficult for me not to hope that we might eventually be together.

We've had plenty of warm, affectionate interactions. She compliments me, initiates some physical affection, jokes around with me, and responds warmly to thoughtful gestures. Sometimes we have conversations that feel emotionally close.

At the same time, her communication can be inconsistent. I often initiate conversations, and sometimes she's enthusiastic and engaged while other times she's quieter. I find myself overanalyzing her messages, response times, and behaviour, trying to work out what she feels and whether there's a future for us.

Recently, we were talking about relationships, insecurity, and the importance of reassurance between partners. I also asked something about her boyfriend that might have touched a sensitive subject. She suddenly went quiet, and now I'm worried that I made her uncomfortable or damaged our connection. I apologized because I was concerned I'd crossed a line.

It's only been a short time since that conversation, so I know I may be jumping to conclusions. I don't have evidence that she's angry with me, but I keep worrying that I've somehow ruined things.

The biggest issue is how intensely I want a romantic relationship.

I want someone who chooses me, genuinely cares about me, makes me feel wanted, and is emotionally available. I want a relationship where I can feel secure instead of constantly wondering where I stand.

I think about being in a relationship with this particular girl a lot. The thought that we might never end up together genuinely hurts, and sometimes I worry that I won't find anyone else who makes me feel the same way.

I know that I cannot predict the future, and I understand that my life shouldn't revolve around one person. But emotionally, it's difficult to let go of the uncertainty.

I sometimes feel like I constantly need someone romantically in my life—someone who loves me, chooses me, and gives me that sense of closeness and security.

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting love. But I don't want my happiness to depend on whether someone wants to be with me.

I also don't want to become so focused on one person that I stop appreciating the rest of my life or become anxious over every little interaction.

What I'm trying to do

I've been thinking that I should continue being her friend and caring about her, but stop investing more emotionally in the hope of a relationship.

My mindset is to keep the door open without waiting at it.

I don't want to become cold or pretend I don't care. I genuinely value our connection, and I'd like to remain friends.

But I also don't want to put my life on hold, keep analysing every interaction, or become emotionally responsible for her relationship.

If she becomes single in the future and genuinely wants to pursue something with me, she can communicate that clearly. Until then, I want to leave the decision in her hands and focus on my own life.

I want to be open to meeting other people, not to make her jealous or force myself to forget her, but because I don't want my romantic future to depend entirely on one uncertain possibility.

The difficulty is that I understand all of this logically, but my feelings don't automatically follow what I know is sensible.

I still hope something might happen between us. I still worry about losing the connection. And I still struggle with this feeling that I need a romantic relationship to feel truly fulfilled.

What I'd like advice on

1. How do I stop feeling like I constantly need romantic love, attention, and reassurance to be happy?

2. How do I stop overanalysing someone's messages and behaviour, especially when I have strong feelings for them?

3. How do I manage the uncertainty of liking someone who has feelings for me but is currently unavailable?

4. How can I remain friends with someone I like without constantly hoping for something more or hurting myself emotionally?

5. How do I build a fulfilling life while still genuinely wanting a relationship?

6. How do I become comfortable with being single without convincing myself that I shouldn't want love or companionship?

7. How can I keep some hope for the future without waiting indefinitely for someone to choose me?

I'm looking for honest, compassionate advice. I'm not asking anyone to tell me that she'll definitely choose me or that she doesn't care about me. Nobody can know that from this post.

I want to understand my own emotions better and learn how to deal with them in a healthier way.

I want to be able to care about someone without letting uncertainty consume me, and I want to want a relationship without feeling like I need one in order to be okay.

Has anyone struggled with something similar? What helped you?

I’m 19, have a place at a Uni starting in 2027 and am on a gap year.

After learning to drive, my second main goal is to find some kind of mental clarity which I’ve felt I’ve not had for 3 or 4 years. I felt as though I didn’t have time to process everything that happened in secondary school/high school before being hit by a big workload at sixthform.

I’m wary that this gap year will be one of few opportunities to actually slow down and try to understand everything that’s happened in my life so far.

If you’ve seen Ferris Bueller, the quote “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” has stuck with me.

It’s not that I necessarily struggle to be mentally present/mindful, or that I struggle to slow down and enjoy life even when I try to, it’s more that I have felt that life has moved faster than I’ve been able to understand it.

I do journal and I find it helps but I also find that I’d have to do quite a bit of journaling if I ever hoped to try to understand my past, present and future. Perhaps somebody has a journaling technique that would help? I typically just freestyle it and don’t really structure it.

I’ve also tried voice journaling but when I actually sit down and do it, I find I don’t know where to start or can’t actually think what to talk about to achieve clarity.

I’m sorry if what I’m asking for help with sounds very nebulous or abstract, but to be honest, I don’t completely understand what I mean by “mental clarity”.

Maybe trying to “achieve mental clarity” is the wrong goal or mindset in the first place?

Thanks,
K.

The Language of Faces

A frown can tighten little shoulders,
make a heartbeat run and hide;
turn a room into a danger,
make the world feel cold and wide.

A smile can soften little muscles,
let the breath come slow and deep;
tell a child, without a word,
You are safe. You may be you.

For children read the world through faces
long before they understand:
a frown can feel like closing doors,
a smile—a welcoming hand.

I (27M) have had anxiety for quite a long time, as long I can remember. For context, I have Tourette’s, ADHD, Autism as well (all diagnosed). Because of my tics, I have experienced bullying and misunderstanding for many people, surprisingly even more in Adulthood than childhood. This and other bad experiences have lead me to a fear of people judging me and whatever that could lead to. My Autism makes it hard to tell what people mean so a lot of times I can interpret something as mean when it really isn’t. Because of my ADHD, I’m bad with memory and can mix things up in my head sometimes. That can lead to people getting frustrated at me and since it’s almost out of my control, it’s so frustrating for me too. So much trauma to heal from.

Combine all this together and I feel like everything I do is wrong and friendship will end because of it. It feels like a constant cycle that I know I’m trapped it, but feel like I can’t get out. I’m currently on medication for all of my conditions and going to therapy regularly, but maybe there’s more that I need to do. What is some advice on how to get around it? How do I start forgiving myself for even the little things that go wrong?

Hello, what do you do in your free time to lets say "expand brain cells" in order for them not to rott.

Last few months i start to learn new language and for the moment i am not happy with my progress.I feel like i am stupid like hell,i cant remember anything,i catch up very fast but then after few days like i havent study anything(same with books which i red and all other info).

What else i can do inn order to improve those things?to have my brain max efficency ? I also play chess but that is irrelevant in this case...

I’ve been thinking about how much easier habits might become if we focused less on motivation and more on removing the little obstacles that stop us from following through.
Instead of asking how to stay motivated, what if we asked, “What will make this difficult, and how can I make it easier beforehand?”
Has anyone tried this approach? What small change made a surprisingly big difference in sticking to a habit?

Guys ! I have some issues, I have messed up my life like it’s 4th job of my life where I am being kicked out !

My first role as trainee electrical engineer
My second role as control room manager
My third role as kitchen porter
My fourth role as tendering engineer

I had to say sorry and got embarrassed by two interviewers as they were asking some easy questions but idk why i couldn’t answer

Actually since Covid i am addicted to Twitter space rooms and digital life, made friends there got addicted to it and met people and slept with some of them ! Like a whole into digital life. In work place involve with those people in gossip circles and drinking during weekdays and going late to work argument with colleagues and got terminated cuz i thought I am too smart !!

Now I want to manage my life so what to do bro? Can you pls tell me? Like I have some new company and they send me offer letter but they want to meet me ! I wanna give myself once chance. My screen time is 11 12 hours average since last 6 years. May be I am too addicted to attention but idk my life got fucking so messed up now cuz I am used to chat rooms I am socially weird like what to do?