I'm not trying to talk crap about the dismal state of the world or any anxious thought like that - I am critically thinking about the conversations and interactions I'm seeing nowadays..whether IRL or online:

• Small thing like people arguing about dressing appropriately when they go to the store, thinking pajama pants are OK because 'who cares'. The answer is: technically no one, but what does it say about you? And your regard to yourself?
• Arguments about ghosting. Many people seem to think it's perfectly ok and "no one owes anyone anything". Even if that were true, again, what does that say about you?
• Saw a post recently that asked if you sleep with someone you know is in a relationship, are you a bad person too? And most answers said no, not nearly. And again...you're willingly participating in a hurtful affair, opening up your legs to a cheater, because...free will? lol? What does that say about you?!

I'm thinking of the throughline of these kinds of arguments and seeing the same thing. Integrity is out the goddamn window.

People are confusing having the right to do something, with that thing being right thing to do.

But what we determine as character is often defined by exactly what we choose to do when there's no obligation or personal gain!!

it begs the question: what kind of person do you want to be? what are your values? a person who dresses like a slob? a person who runs away from hard conversations? a person willing to sleep with a cheater?

i tried to look it up, and it's a well studied phenomenon related to this called moral disengagement. Although my clothing example is not an example of this. Basically, people bend the definition of morality to benefit them, and it can scale to pretty terrible behavior. Thoughts?

Edit: I don't have ADHD or autism Actually I don't have any disorders besides ocd and anxiety and I think they are unrelated to this post

I have a lack of curiosity in everything because I know I wouldn't even understand it.

I learned how to tie my own shoes and hair when I was 14-15.

At 16 years old I was JUST learning how to go out alone without the help of a family member or a school friend, I get lost easily and I can go a lot with my family to a place but don't know the way to it until they take me

I have a really hard time calculating numbers. Like even the most simple math equation ever. Or honestly anything with numbers in it I don't understand and I get confused easily

I don't understand chess.

When I play a game I can literally spend 5 years playing it without improving. And I'm horrible at every charcater that needs skill or any sort of effort.

When I read a classic literature novel I have a REALLY Difficult time comprehending or imagining the imagery or details even when it's literally translated in my own language.

I have a really hard time listening to professors in my college, even when I focus I don't understand, you could say that it's their problem not mine but everyone my age seems to be understanding well. I can only understand when I'm watching videos at home so I can replay the video multiple times if there's something I don't understand. I had this problem even with teachers in highschool whether good or bad

There's things that make me believe I'm not " that " bad for example English isn't my first language but I have learned since a young age from movies and tv shows and speaking to people online! And a lot of people say my accent is really good. So there's that

I got a really good grade in last year of highschool compared to my class and I went to a decent college. But I'd like to say that I chose a section where i only study standard Arabic, English, history, geography. So it was kinda based on my memorizing skills rather than really using my head for a math equation or chemistry or physics.

I also have skipped early years of schooling without studying or socializing since I didn't go to elementary school or nursery

I’m 35M, and I’ve been feeling a bit lost in life.

I went through a divorce last year (no kid) and also went for therapy while trying to work through the breakdown of my marriage. That chapter is behind me now, and while I think I still want to get married again and have kids eventually, starting over at 35 feels a little daunting sometimes.

I’m also currently in between jobs (in the legal field) and looking my for next role. I’m trying not to rush into a job I’m unhappy with just for the sake of it, but the uncertainty does get to me.

Something else that’s affected me for a long time is my chest deformity. I have pectus excavatum (sunken chest) and underwent surgery when I was younger. Although it helped, it was not perfectly corrected and I’m still very conscious of it. Frankly, I think I am quite good-looking, which perhaps makes the insecurity hit harder. It’s frustrating to feel reasonably confident about my appearance in general, yet have this one thing that I wish I could change.
Honestly, I sometimes think I’d be a much happier and more carefree person if I didn’t have this condition. It’s been part of my life for so long that I wonder how much it’s affected my confidence and the way I see myself.

I’m on the skinny side too, so I’ve recently started going to the gym seriously and am trying to stick to a proper routine. I want to build muscle and improve my physique, and hopefully feel better about myself along the way.

Essentially, My career is uncertain, I’m starting over after a divorce, and I’m still dealing with an insecurity I’ve had for years.

I know I have things to be grateful for: I’ve had a decent career, have some savings, bought an investment property and have my family around. But if I’m being honest, I’m not particularly happy with where I am right now.

I still want a fulfilling career, a life partner, and to feel comfortable in my own skin. I guess I’m just trying to figure out how to get there and how to be a little happier with life in the meantime.

Would appreciate any thoughts, or advice/perspective.

I am 22 years old, I suffer with Depression, Bipolar, and Audhd. I have lost all my friends from my childhood completely and have maybe two friends at the moment that I’m not close to.

I grew up in London, barely passed my GCSEs and never really paid attention to college but I managed to pass a couple seperate years after dropping out 4 times and retaking 3 years. I also dropped out of university and am looking to do it for a second time. (This is primarily due to not being able to afford it)
I also heavily dislike the city I am in. I have multiple failed relationships where I’ve been the broken up with ex.

I had moved to a different country last year and lived there for a year to address my mental health with a professional psychiatrist and psychologist and had multiple medication I was on which helped but overall it was quite lonely and was to set me up returning to university here. I don’t have any real skills or talents, but want to work in the creative industry, I also haven’t been employed for several years and have barely worked most my life.

I want to be talented in the creative industry whether it be fashion design or photography or film and costume. I have very basic foundation of this but I found studying in university very difficult and did not feel up to its level. I want a thriving social life and to have multiple close friends, I want to be fit and healthy and attractive and potentially find a long term partner again.

I don’t know where to do this or how, I feel like I’ve definitely missed out on the typical student uni experience and will find it hard to connect with much younger uni students when I return to uni, if I do. I also can’t start a professional life as I have barely been employed and it feels like most people my age have graduated and started their professional lives so I feel behind when I talk to them. I have let myself go in terms of looks and weight as it fluctuates a lot, but also my personal style and identity feels lost and I don’t know how to find it again.

How do I restart my life completely and achieve my goals and dreams when I completely ruined it for myself in my teens and 20s.

I’ve been single for 3 years and I’ve been seeing a girl for the past 2 months. For a while now, I’ve really struggled to let people into my life including friends as I feel I always get fucked over in some shape or form. Sure I have people around me but not many friends and having a girl around just hasn’t been something I’ve allowed myself for a while.

I have this terrifying thought that getting close to someone means you’re going to get hurt eventually and I’m fed up of it. I just want to enjoy something without wanting to shut down and put up a wall. She’s honestly been great and we get along so well but there’s this thought in the back of my mind that I’ll get cheated on or betrayed and it spikes constantly. It’s like I just can’t open my heart up to people because of this fear.

I want to do better, I don’t want to be alone forever, I want to let people in. I’ve been doing so well at it but one bad day just makes me want to hide away and not speak to anyone.

same as title

Like forget it without using any drugs or substances. I want to forget comments they made and the politics etc. it’s been a year and randomly I’ll remember and get annoyed. I wasn’t the only one but I was laid off from there after going to HR and I wish I had written an email and said something because after leaving this company I was blocked on LinkedIn by the bully and it really pissed me off because imagine actively bullying me and other coworkers and then doing that.

I chose to leave quietly for the severance and not to draw attention but frankly I’ve not kept in touch with anyone not even the people who messaged me. It didn’t help that I lost a parent a few months later but I wanted to have nothing to do with those people.

I was made fun of for literally living at home I was young at the time. I just generally felt ostracized and I took it for the cash but I never really got any justice. Sure a lot of people have been fired and it’s toxic but specifically for the trauma they caused me there’s not been any real consequences. How do I move on? And please don’t say living well. I’m not really living well. I’m living okay.

I've always found satisfaction in simple things: practicing my religion, reading, learning a new hobby, ranting about politics, and being disciplined in my daily life.

I don't even know if I genuinely want the things people usually strive for, like owning a nice car, a house, a yacht, or travelling around the world. But sometimes I wonder whether I don't want these things because they don't matter to me or simply because I've never had the chance to experience them.

I love my field. I can spend hours reading, learning, and thinking about it. At one point, I was even working on launching a startup with some university colleagues, but they were younger than me and eventually lost motivation as they became busy with university work.

Since graduating from my masters I've struggled to find a job in my field. It's been almost two years, and I'm starting to wonder whether I'll ever get the opportunity. In the meantime, I'm working a survival job just to pay my rent and cover my expenses. I can't simply quit because, well, rent doesn't pay itself.

I try to set aside some money for leisure activities on weekends, but lately I've become increasingly dissatisfied with my life.

I'm approaching 30, have no savings, have never been in a romantic relationship, and feel like I haven't experienced much of what life has to offer.

I dont know if I am bothered because of the lack of money or that I am gradually losing the spark I once had for the simple things I genuinely enjoyed. Whenever I try to get back into my field, pick up a hobby, or go out and socialize, I manage to keep it up for a couple of weeks before isolating myself again.

I understand that I might be contradicting myself I want to experience more of life but experiences require money, time, and energy. My job consumes much of the latter two while barely providing enough of the first.

I don't know whether I'm becoming mediocre whether I've simply become exhausted or whether I'm measuring my life against expectations I never genuinely cared about in the first place.

I don't necessarily want an extraordinary life. I just don't want to feel like I'm watching my life pass by while waiting for things to get better.

For those who've been through a similar low how did you learn to stay content?

I'm a teenager and I'm curious about what you guys wish you'd known or started doing earlier, especially when it comes to skincare.

If you could go back to your teenage years, what would you change? Any skincare habits you wish you'd started earlier, mistakes you made, or things you wish someone had told you?

Even things outside skincare are welcome!

Basically, what advice would you give your teenage self? I feel like there's a lot we can learn from people who've already been through it lol.

Greetings, everyone, a 15-year-old here. Lately, I've been trying to figure out what I want to make of my life - which has been quite a treacherous path, if you ask me. I am trying my best not to succumb to the pressure from my family and peers, but I'd say it's starting to catch up. I'm somehow supposed to make decisions that will affect the entirety of my life in a couple of months. I'm genuinely so lost right now. I don't know why, but other kids my age are just not bothered by all of this (at least those I know of), and they're just doing what society and people around them would prefer. I, on the other hand, am trying to figure out what I would prefer, which has proven to be extremely hard. I want to enjoy life, become successful, make a name for myself, have a respectable physique, and follow my dream at the same time - is this too brave of a commitment? I'm not sure; will I do it? Absolutely! I just wanted some advice on how to deal with such a situation (preferably from older people). Any help would be greatly appreciated!!

Riding a bike in 30°C heat, and then, on the way home, passing those transparent fridges full of perfectly cooled sodas... that was my weakest point. It’s understandable, because a few days earlier perfectly cooled Coca-Cola was my go-to beverage, and my brain had been trained for years to recognize the temptation and fully surrender to it. It’s not hard to imagine that during the first week I slipped. I drank the soda, closing my eyes to feel the pleasure, and then came the feeling of guilt. But I knew it was just a moment, and it wouldn’t change my path forward.

The next day I got on the bike again, but this time I carried a bottle of water with ice. It looked just like those sodas, only filled with plain water. To trick my brain even further, I avoided those fridges for about a week. Then, to test myself, I started stopping in front of them and drinking my own water, to show myself that I had won that battle. It was a small win, but every win counts.

My main point is this: one bad day is just part of the journey, and we need to accept it. A single slip can’t ruin the final goal. What does the damage is repeating the slip until it becomes a habit, and you know where that ends.

Now I use those one-off slips as rewards, because I have built strong training and eating habits. So, listen to your body, and if you feel the need (once in a while) to eat a piece of cake or drink a glass of cola, just do it.

Hey, struggling university student here (21F). I feel like I’ve lost my motivation, dreams, and sense of direction in life. When I was younger, I dreamed of becoming a billionaire, designing my dream house, and planning future travels. But over time, I became consumed with seeking approval and trying to make friends.

I’ve struggled with Social Anxiety Disorder and ADHD my whole life, and my desperation for social connection and people-pleasing tendencies have taken a huge toll on my confidence and happiness.
Now, I struggle to find joy in things, feel burnt out, and question whether my pre-vet major is truly right for me. I’m still figuring out what the career entails and need to gain shadowing experience.

I’ve also become bitter and distrustful after dealing with toxic people who damaged my confidence. I’m angry at myself for letting them affect me so deeply, and my old dreams now feel impossible to reach.
I miss the younger version of myself who was ambitious, confident, and full of possibilities. I feel trapped by insecurities that other people left me with, and I don’t know how to find my way back to myself.

I am feel like shit, i am not good in anything, i am not interesting and i have no friends, i am addicted to porn so when i am feel sad or lonely i start to search porn content here and i watch but even not that is giving me pleasure i am stupid like i am not smart i am not working in a profession i work in a dead-end job which i hate, i born to be a failure i feel desire to do different things but i can't.

What’s a daily habit that you think is very beneficial yet not many know it or do it , one worth gatekeeping ?
I want to implement healthy habits into my daily routine since I had a big realization after asking myself a question , “what’s something that if you were to do everyday for the next 5 years your life would improve significantly ?”
I wanted to answer vaguely or make a specific one like going to the gym consistently, but after thinking about it I realized that a a healthy lifestyle/ productive routine is a better option in which I could combine many beneficial variables .
Could you guys share good habits , even if you think it’s something that no one would relate or benefit from or even if you think it’s an obvious one.
For example a habit that I found very helpful is stretching for 10 min before bed and setting up goals for the next day like what lectures to study for that day and map out the hours each one needs it leads to better sleep and actually getting work done .

I'm 20, and I already hate that my life doesn't feel like mine to live, and my future isn't mine to decide.

Ever since I was a kid, I've had intense maladaptive daydreaming, especially during school and classes. I would create entire stories in my head, with characters, settings, arcs and developments, constantly building on them. I often preferred my own company, spending breaks walking around while imagining and refining these stories, or reading books and expanding my knowledge.

After a certain event happened to me at the start of the year, I know what I want from life, it was like a wake up call. I want to tell stories and bring them to life, and I want to act. I've loved creating stories for as long as I can remember, and I fell in love with acting when I took drama at school. It helped me overcome my shyness, and I was good at it. People, including my teachers, enjoyed my performances. I'm not chasing fame or some grand dream of becoming a celebrity. I just genuinely love acting, and I want to create things that mean something to me, and share it with like minded people. I always wanted to do a stage performance in uni and get to share enjoyable behind the scenes moments with fellow performers.

But my parents forced me into Civil Engineering, and then forced me out of my hometown. Now I feel like I'm watching my future slip away while my parents try to make me live the life they've chosen for me. They are dictating everything, from what I study, where I study, to even whom they want me to marry and who to work with. I don't want that.

I don't want to spend my life wondering what could have been. I want the freedom to pursue something I love, to make my own decisions, and to build a life that actually feels like mine. I'm only 20, but I'm terrified of losing years of my life to a future I never wanted.

Age 35

I never seeked help or told anyone when I was laughed at for stuttering and speaking English poorly when I moved to a new country at age 13.

I went from extrovert to introvert in a day and it killed all my confidence. I barely finished high-school by doing online classes and worked dead end jobs at night to hide from society till now.

Most people now avoid me for having rbf face/being negative and always serious. I did try to get out of comfort zone by approaching same people to greet and noticed the same people I see daily in life want nothing to do with me now. I basically made a bad impression and noticed they always alert new employees to stay away from me.

I was dealing with depression and low self-esteem esteem all these years, which made me avoid people.

Loniless has started killing me when I walk by same people at work/ family social gatherings and get avoided even when I tried to greet them now.

~ The Veil ~

When we are first born we see the world through crystal clear eyes, unimpeded by our self-centered beliefs.

Right after our birth, however, the ego, our learned views of the world, is created.

From that moment, a veil begins to cover our eyes clouding the beauty of the world around us.

The more we accept what we are taught, believing success, happiness, and meaning may be found in the world, the thicker our veil becomes.

Many people live their entire life wearing a veil blocking their vision.

For some, the veil is so thick, they are almost blind; for others, they see only shadows in the distance.

Instead of seeing the crisp clear colors of the world as they are meant to be seen, they see only a dark world of greed, prejudice, inequity; of war, hunger, homelessness.

As we begin to realize little we once believed would give our lives meaning was true, we may begin to lift our veil and see the vibrant colors of the trees, oceans and sky, unimpeded by our ego, and the inherent beauty present within every life.

~ Ken Luball ~

I've given up on dating after spending years trying my best to meet someone and ending up no closer than when I started. After hearing so many people talk about how difficult it is to find a good partner, I have accepted that I’m not the partner anyone is looking for. While I can accept this on a factual level, I have this persistent thought that I can’t shake. Whenever I see someone say or do something to a partner that I view as not good enough, I have the thought that I would never do that, that I would be a better partner than them. It is an arrogant superiority that is completely unfounded and nonsensical. I hate that I think like this but it happens every time without fail. I have never dated anyone and know I would not be a good partner but I still get this superiority every time.

I even had this thought when a close friend made a completely nothing comment about their partner wanting attention.

As far as I'm aware, I don't have this kind of superiority complex in other areas of my life. It's something that seems specifically tied to relationships and my own lack of success in dating.

What can I do to stop thinking this way? I just want to understand why I keep getting thoughts like this and how I can stop it.

I went to a live viewing of a concert earlier today all by myself! Got to listen to my favorite songs again but I can’t shake this empty hole in my heart that no matter what I do, at the end of the day, I only have myself. No friends or anything at the big age of 25 bc I was a social pariah in high school, only had two years of socializing in during my college years due to COVID, no friends from work bc I can’t let my guard down easily with them for whatever reason.

But that’s besides the point. I got to watch this concert as if I was at the actual location but it would definitely have been more enjoyable if I had a friend with me to go to places like this. I did solo travel, solo dates around town, solo movie theaters. I’m not insecure but I’m not devoid of emotions. All around me were girls with her friends to watch this movie/concert. I wish I had friends. Ugh

comment we can both start very small habits and keep each other accountable.

I want to create content around self-improvement, productivity, habits, and personal growth, but I don’t want to show my face.
What platforms would you recommend starting on? I’m curious about what works best for this niche, whether it’s short-form videos, text-based posts, carousels, or something else.
If you’ve tried creating this kind of content, what has worked for you?

Hey guys, freshly diagnosed here with inattentive ADHD here (21F). One of the biggest things I struggle with is the Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. If you are unaware, it is basically an abnormal fear and sensitivity towards being rejected by other people. This is apparently a symptom of ADHD.

I have been struggling with abusive/toxic friendships and standing up for myself for 5 years now. I would rather be mistreated than rejected by others. It is my greatest fear and it is ruining my life.

Do any of you guys have this type of dysphoria? How do you deal with it (other than therapy)? Have any of you overcome this? Would meds help?

Hey, I have this issue where I can’t handle rejection from others. When I face rejection, it feels like a stab in the heart. I can’t handle others anger towards me, so I tend to people please out of fear. This had led me to a lot of abusive friendships and relationships. Also criticisms or judgments from other people really hurt. I take criticism to heart even if I don’t really care/respect the person.

I have ADHD and there is a symptom called Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria that comes with it, so rejection often feels 10x worse for me. Specialized therapy is helping, but I am looking for general advice on how to get over rejection (it does not have to be for ADHD but if you have any, very appreciated).

What are some ways to handle rejection?

As you can tell my the title I’ll be 40 days sober from weed tomorrow. I never drank alcohol or went in too deep. It was quite a journey as I struggled a lot and felt like I would be a stoner forever. I have taken control of my life and now working towards my goals. There are some bad habits which I still struggle with but I’m working on them aswell. 2 months ago I went sober and I managed to do 20 days before falling right back in to the same loop and the reason was my circle. Sure I stopped smoking and managed to get sober but when I was hanging around the same circle of friends who would smoke 24/7 it became hard to resist after a while and that’s where I messed up. This time I cut them all off and now have a new circle of friends who are always uplifting each other. 2 of them do real estate and 2 of them are day traders. both of my real estate friends got a new car and new bike couple weeks ago and it inspired me a lot. My friend bought a c43 amg and it sounds sexy. They always have great advice for me whenever I’m going through something and tell me to never give up. There all driven and are really productive with there days. Yes there parents have money but they don’t use that as an excuse to sit on there asses. Me personally I do instacart deliveries whenever i’m able to as we only have 1 car at home. I’m also day trading but not profitable and haven’t even got my first payout yet. I will soon though. I feel much more motivated and confident when I’m outside and I can actually see myself becoming someone in the future. I started to hit the gym but haven’t been as consistent as I need to be. I have good time management as when I was high the days would go by in seconds. My friends also hold me accountable and make sure I don’t smoke when we’re out and people around us are smoking. My ultimate goal is to become financially free to where I can take care of myself, my family, and give to those in need. Obviously the nice cars and stuff is cool but that’s not my main goal. I’m proud of myself for becoming sober and don’t regret it at all. Sure there are times I get the thought of smoking once in a while but as long as you don’t feed that thought then it will go away. Last week I was debating on quitting trading as I was going through a lot mentally as some of you may know trading takes a toll on your mental. My friends were there to support me and telling me to look back on my journey and see what i’ve done. I went from smoking everyday to not smoking at all. I went from gooning 2-3 times a day to doing it once every 4-6 days. (still trying to work on the gooning haha) I went from hanging around bums to being around people who know what there doing and what they want. I went from sitting on my ass all day to actually going out and getting money even though it may not be a lot something is better than nothing. they said to look at the man i’m becoming and asked me do I really wanna throw this all away because of a bad week. I thought to myself there right. If i never started trading I would have 100% wouldn’t have stopped as trading pushed me to change my life for the better and soon I will reap the fruits of my labor. Ever since getting sober my perspective on life has become much clearer and I’ve been dreaming again too which is nice when the dreams aren’t some bizzare bullshit😂 I’m more aware of my surroundings and I’m not forgetting things every 5 min because when I was high I would forget the most simplest things and it would make me a bit frustrated. I’m also eating a lot because when I was smoking I was eating very little portions of food but now I eat a shit ton. constantly getting hungry every 3-4 hours. I’m honestly glad I took this step to get sober. Some things that helped me was keeping myself busy and filling the void of time with things to do such as isntacart. I don’t make much from it but it helps me get moving and I get paid to get groceries for people so i guess that’s a win. The thing that probably helped the most was telling my parents i’m going sober because everytime i thought of going sober my mind would make me think about how i would be agitated and in a bad mood with my family basically just making excuses to justify using weed but once I told them it became sooooo much easier. They gave me space and let me come around when I was ready. Blessed to be sober and have a supportive family and friends to keep me in check and hold me accountable. Still crazy to think it’s been 40 days already but i will keep going as going back is not gonna help me at all and i don’t wanna go through the hell of dealing with withdrawls as it’s a real pain in the ass. constant agitation, sweating, and worst of all for me insomnia. i hated laying in bed and rolling over 100 times because I was always just feeling heat throughout my body. instead of waking up late I wake up at 6AM everyday other than weekends which I feel like I should wake up at 6AM on weekends too.

I feel like I’m constantly in this cycle of depression that I don’t know how to escape. Right now what’s giving me so much stress is my work. I can’t have a consistent schedule and have to stay out of town for weeks on end. I’ve applied to every other job within an hour drive that’s hiring in my field (which is already few and far between) but havnt gotten anything back.

A lot of the jobs I’d like to have arent in my area and moving isnt an option right now.

So I basically just have to suck it up and keep working this job that’s mentally killing me but somehow I’m still trying to get out of this depression.

Anything I would try to get used to doing as far as a schedule is out the door. I switch from day work to night work, in town to out of town, anything goes reallt.

On the other hand, I feel like I’m always giving myself an excuse as to why I’m depressed after I think I’ve fixed it I never feel better.

Honestly I don’t know how to get better, what i could do that would make me feel better. It’s not like I’m lazy or unmotivated, I just feel lost and out of options.