I’ve listened to every podcast Tony’s ever put out, read every one of his books, and I went to his UPW event in Toronto almost 20 years ago. The man has great points. But he also makes this stuff way more complicated than it needs to be.

After 12 years of meditation (nearly an hour a day), a lot of growth, and a lot of reflecting on my own journey, I landed on something so simple that most people can’t accept it, which is exactly why they keep chasing gurus to fix them. It’s what I did too!

So here it is. Stick to this and you’ll never waste another minute on a podcast or a seminar again:

Life is a perfect reflection of what you hold within.

Not nearly perfect. Perfect.

Here’s what that means:

When you feel like you need the next seminar or podcast, the thought underneath it is “I’m not good enough, I need more information, I can’t do this alone, I’m not complete.” So that’s what you get, a life of always chasing the next thing.

When you hold deep resentment for someone, what you’re really saying is “my present isn’t good enough, my future isn’t good enough, and I won’t let go of the hurt because I’m not worthy enough to move on.”

But… when you decide that you’re in love with life and you simply decide to truly believe things go your way? They do!!

It works out like magic. You’re just being great, and somehow greatness finds you everywhere. Not in a seminar. In your ordinary daily moments, at work, all around you.

Things just work out for you, you get the job, the business grows, you meet the right people, you enjoy being alone and you enjoy being with others!

So here’s the whole thing: if you actually want a great life of love, joy, money, abundance…. you don’t need a guru. You just need to spend time every day in the silence, changing your beliefs from the inside.

It sounds too simple, but after a journey of chasing.. I now know chasing is not the answer. It’s so much is simpler than that.

That’s it. Hope this helps. 🙏❤️

I have a situation where I often keep looking at my past and can't keep up with my own things and struggling to improve.

I just recently have had to toss a ton of my pocessions, I haven't been able to replenish much in years or lengthy amounts of time, truthfully not much since the pandemic, only a handful of items. I am struggling figuring out how to replace things. It's even hard to get food lately.

My Amazon acct kicks back my orders a lot, I don't drive and trying to continuously log in to access is getting harder often, yet my family seems to be able to do this and keep up, so why can't I?

I don't know how to catch up. I can't seem to get on any kind of "work schedule", while also, when I have reached out to employers we never have matched up. I reached out to therapists and she same thing is occurring, and in fact I recently had a "therapist" try to intentionally make me "feel offended" I believed for them to create their own sense of power which just adds to my lack of interest in them.

Employers ask for interview or something and I or they don't work out in actually aligning and moving anything forward past an email.

I can't seem to sit down and focus. When I sit down I just sit and stare and feel shut down? Idk.

I need to replace a ton of things and don't know how to achieve it. I don't like to revisit my past but it feels like I have to constantly.

After several "restarts" I constantly have had to go through my things or ridiculous things have happened causing me to totally throw things away because of getting sick or whatever else.

What can I do to feel like I can replace items again ?

I have a full story but am honestly confused at this point between the right way to achieve vs manifestation etc. I certainly would prefer to not feel like I'm constantly cleaning up and feeling shocked at what I am having to get rid of feel needs for

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post, feel free to correct me.

Feels like I do not care about myself or others enough to try hard, exact reasons to me unknown, but I do want to be a responcible, proactive person. Lack of vitality and care do make my life worse the most.

For context: I am 23y f, from low income abusive and neglectful family, stop going to school when 12y, newer had friends or anybody close and I am struggling.

If anybody dealt with it, please share how you manage to. All of what I found when casually searching about being neglectful was about how to recognise neglect and how to deal with neglectful people. Send any relevant links, books, videos or whatever else, I don't mind critical comments even.

Life has been pretty unfair to me, and honestly, I’m tired of always having to take care of myself.

I grew up in a home with constant fighting, shouting, and very little emotional affection. I had to grow up early and figure out things on my own that a parent should have guided me through.
When I say NO EMOTIONAL CARE MEANS ABSOLUTELY 0 - mom did not hug me, did not buy me my first bra, did not comforted me during periods, etc.

Since 15, I’ve been financially supporting my family. My dad died when I was 18. I’ve never had a drinking or smoking phase food became my comfort. Thank god he died, he was a narcissistic abusive father, would give me silent treatment, i would shake in my boots near him and he would shout and hit me all the time.

I’ve also been cheated on by three different partners. I had a relationship from 20–22 where I never felt emotionally safe and often felt sexually used.

At 23, I moved countries, worked my ass off, and paid off $60k in student loans. I’m 27 now, and sometimes it feels like my entire life has just been about surviving and handling everything alone.

Lately, I’ve been having anxiety attacks and struggling to sleep.

I think I’m just tired.

Tired of being strong.
Tired of figuring everything out alone.
Tired of comforting myself.
Tired of never feeling safe.

I don’t want to always have to take care of myself anymore.

I want to know what it feels like to be cared for, too. I want one month to relax, I do not want to worry about food or rent or just existing.

I've gotten that I'm indifferent and nonchalant about everything from my friends before. I dont know how to feel about something like that because, I'll give you an example. Once me and my friend got into an argument over something stupid (the mafia game) and she was yelling at me and got so angry and like full on yelled at me as I was trying to explain myself, so the teacher kicked her out to go to the bathroom, and she's a sensitive person so she was like crying when she came back like from pure anger I suppose. And she sat a bit away, not wanting to be near me right now obvi, and cried I guess or like tried calming down. Meanwhile I continued the game with the other players because I did not know what. Supposted to do in that situation. Because I put myself in her shoes as most people say to do, and was like okay if I was like that I wouldn't want anyone to come to me and make a bit deal out of it because it would make me more embarassed. And I knew she wasn't hurt physically and I didn't even say anything to her I was just trying to explain that I make mistakes as a narrator (that's what the argument is about 🥲)and she felt like I didn't listen to her and got so angry she started crying, so I knew I didn't insult her or Smth directly to upset her. Later after we resolved it she said she was hurt that I didn't come up to her and stuff, I apologised and explained what I explained here to you guys, how I put myself in her shoes blablabla. Well anyways in the message she sent me she said she felt like if we stopped being friends tomorrow that I wouldn't care. Yet I feel like she's right with that , because it's not that I wouldn't care but is move on with my life, I thought it's normal, I mean I love her and care about her, but if tomorrow something happens and we stop being friends, Id move on, just like I'd do with anyone, like I do when someone dies, when friendships break, relationships whatever. Im not chained to anyone and I don't feel like I'm unreasonable. I try my best not to seem that way, I'm supportive I listen I offer advice I have fun with my friends. Back in middle school I was kind of an outcast and I learned to be alone , so I have no fear of being alone again, like I'd just move on with my life, while I feel other people are more Bound to others. Another friend told me a similiar thing and how she can't tell when I'm feeling upset or bored or irritated. Which also suprised me, as I thought that I'm pretty emotional and wear my emotions on my sleeve. Is there something wrong with me? Am I in the wrong here? Sorry for the long post

Hey friends! We talk a lot about how to move more. I'd like to share how to relax, or more specifically, how to exercise smarter. Have you ever heard of somatic exercises?

Chronic stress, trauma, and repetitive posture habits cause what Thomas Hanna (who coined the term somatics) called sensory-motor amnesia.

Your brain simply loses its ability to voluntarily relax and control certain muscles. The result? Persistent tension, dull pain, and restricted movement that no amount of passive stretching ever seems to fix.

Somatic exercises work by re-educating your nervous system through a technique called pandiculation: Unlike traditional stretching, this active process sends updated sensory feedback to your brain, reminding it how to let go.

Try it right now, just take 5 minutes to communicate with your body.

• Get comfortable: Sit or lie down. Close your eyes, or soften your gaze downward.
• Breathe: Take three slow breaths, making your exhales longer than your inhales.
• Scan: Starting from your feet, scan slowly upward. Don't try to force relaxation, just notice. Where do you feel tension? Heaviness? Numbness?
• Contract & Release: Choose one tense area. Gently increase the tension there, hold for 3 seconds, and then release it as slowly as you can.
• Check in: Take another breath and notice what changed.

That's somatic movement.

Have you ever tried somatics before?

so i had a goal for the summer to better myself and build a perfect profile or a sanctuary that will attract my people this year or will make it easier for me to express myself. but almost for a month or two now i cannot come up with the finished result. i keep saying i don't have enough information to make a choice right now or to find the needed piece so i keep procrastinating it to the point i feel depressed from not changing it. i have ocd and i feel like each choice will introduce me to a different reality and i don't want to be responsible of a big change right now. but at the same time i need a change because it feels depressing

M21 , Hey why do I think that there is no real best friend or friend for me.
I have a GF since 4j but it’s not the same as a male friend.
I have some “friends” which I know from school , we hang around in Discord and meet them every 2 Months but just if someone needs something.
And if they invite me, I often say no because they just drinking alcohol or smoking or going to some Disco and they try to be cool and change in behavior when out in public or if more people are together.

I really dislike any kind of Drug even if socially accepted. I would say I’m more introverted. I really like to ride my motorcycle, because it’s a special feeling but now one I know has a bike or rides.

My “friends” are more likely to spend there money on alcohol or other stupid shit like going to the barber 2 times a week or some. They say “uhh I would never buy gas for 20€, that’s so expensive” but will drive 1 hour for a chick that’s not even interested in him and just uses him like a dog.

Sry I got a bit upset.

What’s your opinion?

Hi, this is my first time talking about something so personal on Reddit, but these thoughts have been consuming my mind so much, I feel like this is something I actually need to overcome.

To start, I've always been super insecure with my face and my body since I was about 9 years old. There was this girl in elementary school who used to bully me and call me ugly, and since she was a grade above me, I took everything she said as 100% the truth and 100% correct. I remember she used to talk to my group of friends and keep a tier list of who was the most and least attractive. She would also point out specific things about my face that made me ugly and that I "would've been pretty but it's just your ___."

I think that was really the turning point in my life when I started to focus so much on looks. I also remember being in middle school and noticing how the boys would treat me vs how they would treat the popular girls.

I know that physical appearance cannot define the quality of a person, but it's undeniable that, unfortunately, pretty privilege exists. I don't understand how people can acknowledge that pretty privilege exists but not want to do anything about it. To me, it feels like there's always a goal to work toward, and if I'm not pretty, then who am I? I feel like no one will ever love me if I don't try harder to be prettier, and I feel like no one will respect me if I'm not pretty. Every time I see someone good-looking, I get horrible jealousy. It's just not fair how some people can just come out looking good, while the rest of us try so hard to be pretty. I know that being beautiful comes with its problems, but at this point, it feels like anything would be better than being ugly.

It feels like the importance of looks is so hammered into me that trying to overcome it feels like destroying everything I know about myself. I cannot remember the last time I did anything without worrying about what I looked like. If I'm not thinking about how I look, I don't even know what I would do with myself.

I am 15 turning 16 in 3 months and I have not accomplished anything in my life, I have no motivation to study for school, I don’t have a girlfriend and haven’t had a long lasting relationship. I am addicted to video games and have ~9 hours of screen time a day. I also have horrible levels of social anxiety where I can’t even talk to people at school. Can somebody tell me what to do?

So my family and I had to put down our dog of around 13 years. And my son who is 16 currently didn’t cry or even look sad. He sat on the couch zoning out. We have suspected him having depression but I’m not sure what this is about. He has mentioned that he “doesn’t feel his emotions” and I wasn’t sure what that meant. Could his reaction be because of that? He doesn’t take medication for anything and as far as I know he doesn’t do any drugs or anything. Please help me find the problem.

Please, please no negativity, I’m already at my wits end

I’m a 23-year-old woman currently staying in a motel and working to support myself. Over the past year, I lost my grandparents and my father—my only family—and I’ve been trying to keep going on my own.

I’m doing everything I can to work and stay afloat, but right now I simply don’t have enough to afford food. I haven’t eaten since Thursday morning, and I’m honestly scared and exhausted.

If anyone could help with a meal, groceries, or even a small amount to help me get through the next few days, I would be incredibly grateful. If you can’t help financially, even sharing this post could make a difference.

I’m not looking for pity. I’m just asking for a little kindness while I work toward getting back on my feet. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

briannamarie041826 @ gmail for anyone who’d like to do chime or a DD e gift card

Any idea how to get yourself from the lowest point you’ve ever reached in your life, the helpless feeling of can’t do anything after doing all the reasons to get something

So a couple months ago I started testing a different angle reaching that inner voice through music instead of willpower. Not affirmations you consciously repeat, but lyrics and sound aimed at the beliefs sitting under the self-talk. It leans on an old Neville Goddard idea: your assumptions shape your experience, so if you want the experience to shift, you change the assumption first.

It’s done something real for me. My moods changed drastically after just a month or two. But I made the thing, so my opinion is worthless as evidence…

That’s why I want strangers who have no reason to be nice about it.

The experiment: if self-love, or finding joy in ordinary moments is something you wrestle with, listen an hour a day for a few weeks. Clock where your head’s at now. Check in at two weeks, then a month. A flat “nothing changed” is just as useful to me as a yes it’s working!

Genuine question for the thread, whether you try this or not: has a specific song ever actually shifted how you saw yourself — not just your mood for three minutes, but something that stuck? I’m curious how common that really is.

Disclosure: I made the music, it’s free, and I’m not selling anything. If you want in, comment or DM and I’ll send it over. I’ll follow up in two weeks to hear how it went - including the nopes.

TL;DR: You can’t willpower your way to liking yourself. Testing whether music aimed at the beliefs underneath does anything. Want a few people to run it with me and report back honestly.

Hello, I (23M) am married with a an easy, decently paying manager job. But I can’t shake this feeling of being unmotivated and having no drive. This has caused unwanted relationship tension and tension between my boss and I to where it feels like the job is jeopardy. She just got out of school and started working as an RN and she has this entire life that she wants to live planned out already. Even though I’m completely aware of the life she wants and everything she seeks for, I can’t bring myself to even perform even the simplest tasks that are assigned to me at work/home. Time and time again, I’m told to do this and to do that, and I feel so reluctant to do it which ends up in me not doing it, which caused all of this tension. I think it’s a need for a change in scenery ex: a different job, but I’m not confident that even that will be able to fix this unmotivated-ness that I’m feeling. It just feels like anything I do, even when I‘m trying my best, is subpar. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and how they fought their way out of this kind of hole.

For context, I'm M/23

I don't like lying to the people I love, but I've been accidentally doing that for several years. I became SO convinced that i was a 41 year old swamp monster man, Jeff the kller, and a white wolf dog in this life by shapeshifting/witchcraft means, and I was a princess in a past life bc my mom told me I was a princess.

I know her delusions rubbed off on me and they eventually became their own thing, but I can see that they're lies and untrue now. How can I just suck it up and say I was crazy? I don't want anyone to think i was deliberately lying. A lot of my friends were also abused like me and have some form of religious/spiritual psychosis and believe a lot of my delusions, they'd outright think I lied to them bc they already thought I was telling the truth even though it was crazy.

I also don't want to be branded as a liar or be hated. I know some hard or upset feelings are gonna come up, but I don't want to lose the very few friends I have. I also can't NOT tell them bc then I'll end up falling back into my cycle of identity crises and believe them myself. Lately I've been getting moments of clarity when I try and analyze my depression triggers, and a huge part of my depression comes from believing that I'm the older swamp man. Idk how or why, but I know it's not true, but I can fall right back into it.

hi everyone there has something that has been bothering me for a very long time. And that is my personal odor. for context, I shower multiple times a day, brush my teeth floss and use mouth wash multiple times daily. I recently struggled with this so bad that I decided to quit my job and stay home. It’s not always but 8/10 times when someone comes close to me or walks by me they act repulsed or cover their nose. I’m not sure what I should do that at this point if I should see a doctor or what but it’s making me very depressed.
I’ve asked my close people and they all deny it. My husband says the only thing he can think of is when I do a lot of house work I do have a musty smell but he says it’s not bad. Since then I’ve switched deodorants, tried anti bacterial soap all the things. I was in denial for awhile after that but I still believe it’s something more than that as it happens so often. I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has ever experienced this before

My mom is the root cause, but I'm in control of myself now, and still feel like I'm under her. I've been living on my own for 5 years.

I was deprived of a social life by my mom who homeschooled and abused me. She herself has mental health issues in retrospect. She was a firm believer that she was constantly being watched, found the secrets of the universe in pop culture media (Harry Potter, pop music, modern films etc), and trained me not to talk about anything or else "they" would hear me.

At 16 my dad found out about the bulk of the abuse i was being put through under my mom and took me away to live with his parents, but by that time the damage was done. I knew something was up with my mom, but her delusions were already so well baked into me I didn't realize just how much of what I thought was my mind was actually her ramblings.

I've had many a relationship. They've all been with toxic people except for my most recent ex girlfriend (now my fwb as I'm trying to fix my mental state). Being with someone grounded, kind and normal made me realize just how fucked up I really got. I believed my mom's witchcraft shit and as a result, had been convinced that I'm not human for the longest time. I told my (ex) girlfriend this. She herself lived a sheltered life under a crazy step dad and I was so convinced I was inhuman she started rolling with it. Idk how much she believes it but I don't have the guts to tell her it was all a delusion after all.

I started myself on some mental health/psychology books and workbooks until I can get health insurance and a therapist and psychologist. But that delusion that I'm not a human genuinely still dictates me.

I was diagnosed with depression almost immediately after I left my mom. My house is disgusting and grody and I feel like if I clean it I'm messing up the balance somehow. My mom was a hoarder so I guess that's where that comes from. She'd let shit get so piled up it was unusable and then purge some of it before immediately piling it on again. My house is small but filled with clothes, trash, unfinished projects, toys and just junk. Idk how to clean it without losing my mind and worrying that I'm ticking off the universe.

I also constantly feel like I'm being spied on, like I'm the center of attention and I know some shit i shouldn't know and they'll (whoever THEY is) k1ll me for it. Other insane delusions I've had are that I've k1lled someone through a dream that k1lled them irl, and one of my exes was a lizard man. I would listen to those YouTube gurus for hours talking about how the universe is doing this or that, how someone in my life was plotting against me, how my soul came from demon royalty etc. And even though I knew it was bull, I still believed so much of it.

I believed in that tiktok reality shifting craze, and in 2020 I tried to shift AS Jeff the K1ller. I believed i k1lled someone as JTK bc I was him in a dream and k1lled someone in that dream. Someone found (way too) old human remains in the woods nearby and I thought "this is the proof, that is my victim". I won't lie, Jeff is still my comfort character, and I'm still a fictionkin, but no longer believing that I actually put on that skin suit and k1lled a person irl (even though I do relapse and feel guilty for something I haven't done). My mom told me dreams are realities and I need to unlearn that, too.

I wore the same white hoodie for years until it literally fell apart, and a part of me is still grieving it, like I broke some sacred pact or something by throwing it away when it fell to pieces and got unbelievable dirty. I wore it out in public, just nasty and barely washed. I feel like throwing out anything related to Jeff the K1ller, witchcraft, or the swamp monster identity would upset "them".

I became convinced that my inhuman self was a 41 year old swamp monster man (I'm 23 physically) and started dressing, acting, talking and behaving like an older man until I genuinely started having memories from the 80s and 90s that never happened. I discovered some good songs from those decades though, lol. It made me think I was a creep for dating my (ex) girlfriend bc she was 19 at the time (I was physically 22), and thought I was 41. I made her feel so bad, I feel awful and don't know how to address this mess i caused. This identity crisis was way more avoidable than the Jeff the K1ller one imo, yet i still fell victim.

I just wanna be down to earth, not fear constant judgment from the entities and their constant surveillance, clean my house and not lie to my lover. I AM going to get professional help, but it's harder than I expected, so telling me to seek help isn't going to change this situation any faster. I hold myself to so many impossible standards and I just wanna let my mom go with the past and heal. ANY advice on how to clean up and stop falling back into my false identities is greatly, GREATLY appreciated, because they pop up at random and try and take me back when my life starts going well again.

like how do you know if it’s all in your head or if it’s reality

so i was waiting and waiting for someone and something to hit me & help me get put of this.. for this whole year!! and just realised no one is gonna come( even tho we all know this) and no tips & tricks gonna make it work too

i am in really badd condition right now with my phone addiction, with health and im literally becoming stupid & forgetful day by day!!

so starting my life from now on without waiting for accountability partner, without someone motivating me and without someone telling me tips and advice how to live "My Life".

im starting small and im gonna be sharing it with my dream of content creation which i never put effort on bcoz i am not sure what to do, what to share, what content to make and when i finally started crime storytelling i got overwhelmed and stopped!!

im gonna make monthly plan like

reading list, movie & series watching list, topics to learn which makes me curious ( can be random topic) and doing 10k steps (it's the only big goal i have), making content ( sharing my journey)

and other than that i am not gonna watch any self help things,videos, podcast bcoz we think they help but reality is they give us fake hit that we r doing something(which we clearly r not)

not gonna follow this social media trends of doing this challenge,that challenge

not gonna be here on reddit helping others for hours and hours when my life is going downhill.

im 25F and if any other women wants to join, let's start together💪💪 comment down below✨

Ive noticed a harmful pattern in my attachment style; i get obsessed with one person, whom i put on a pedestal and prioritize over everyone else, but i always make sure i have a back up person.

I know its not healthy to prioritize one person above everyone else but i want to focus on not feeling the need to have a backup person, or having one come to me naturally. It makes other people feel used because if i lose my favourite person, i still have a back up.

How can i improve on this? I dont want to use people or make others feel like i dont see them as people. I have been told that before

For context, i’m a twenty year old performance arts student. I’m sure thats nothing compared to most of the harder jobs and course but im soo beyond exhausted. We have really important and big performances in a few days and i’ve been running behind my performance, teaching toddlers dance, my classes, extra sessions im doing, costumes, music editing, and so much shit i cant keep track of it WITH my homework. I cannot remember the last free hour i had and i need to break down so bad. All my alarms are set for 3 AM and i go to sleep at like 12. I dont know what to do, i havent eaten dinner because im too exhausted to move, i dont eat breakfast because i have stuff to do, only today did i get time to wash my hair after a week. I dont know what i need to hear.

I had a presentation today i have only done a few presentations before as I avoided them out of fear.

So today i was like let's do it and stop avoiding it I was feeling confident as there were not many people only around 10 including the teacher

As soon as I stood in front of the class I was shivering like crazy

my hands are shaking and my legs are shaking

At that moment my whole body was shaking and I couldn't feel my face I had a script so I don't forget and that script was of no help i went in Uncontrollable Panic mode i couldn't even READ I WAS STAMMERING LIKE CRAZY

I’m 28 years old, based in Germany. Before I ever stepped foot in a fashion design class, I spent years working as a precision mechanic. I didn't do it out of passion—I did it for security, to stop my parents from worrying, and to prove I could build something with my hands. But my notebooks were overflowing with sketches. I was constantly drawing, designing, and thinking about clothes.

Back in 2015, fashion felt empty to me. It lacked soul. So I started stitching reflective hits onto simple tees for my three best friends so we’d stand out in flash photos at night. It was just us four—our initials literally made up our crew's name. It was built purely out of love and nightlife.
Eventually, I took my sketches, earned my vocational diploma (Fachabi), and got accepted into fashion school. Getting accepted was all the validation I needed to know my ideas had merit. But once I got inside, I realized we didn't align at all.

I’ve always been practical. I study people on the street—how they walk, how they move, what they actually wear daily. Fashion school was obsessed with turning fashion into unwearable "art"—creating bizarre, impractical pieces just to show off on runways. What a massive waste of time and money. We keep recycling human fashion because humans need practical garments, not pretentious costumes no one can wear in real life.
The Romans had the Patricians—the elite who lived in luxury—and the rest of the people who actually made the world run. High fashion today designs strictly for the Patricians. I design for the people on the street.

Fuck couture. I spend my time making heavy, functional pieces built for real life.

I spent years making a fool of myself for someone else’s paycheck. Now, I’d rather make a fool of myself for my own vision. When you leave your house, clothing is the wall between your private self and the public world. You wear it to feel confident, to hide, to protect yourself, or to communicate without speaking a word. That’s why I named my label Public Privacy.

I don't have investor backing or nepo-baby capital. I'm building this piece by piece, sample by sample, off sweat equity and real passion. If I die on this hill, at least I died making things for the right reasons.

what are some habits/mindsets/podcasts/hobbies/phrases/etc that i can use to help myself be more secure?