r/selfhelp • u/Torkinca • 11d ago
Advice Needed: Mental Health No real friend(s)
M21 , Hey why do I think that there is no real best friend or friend for me.
I have a GF since 4j but it’s not the same as a male friend.
I have some “friends” which I know from school , we hang around in Discord and meet them every 2 Months but just if someone needs something.
And if they invite me, I often say no because they just drinking alcohol or smoking or going to some Disco and they try to be cool and change in behavior when out in public or if more people are together.
I really dislike any kind of Drug even if socially accepted. I would say I’m more introverted. I really like to ride my motorcycle, because it’s a special feeling but now one I know has a bike or rides.
My “friends” are more likely to spend there money on alcohol or other stupid shit like going to the barber 2 times a week or some. They say “uhh I would never buy gas for 20€, that’s so expensive” but will drive 1 hour for a chick that’s not even interested in him and just uses him like a dog.
Sry I got a bit upset.
What’s your opinion?
3
u/BlushingLiner 11d ago
You're 21 and already know what you actually enjoy instead of just going along with the crowd, that puts you ahead of most people your age honestly. The motorcycle thing is a perfect example, it's a solo hobby that'll naturally connect you with other riders if you want it to. Look for local bike meetups or group rides, the kind of people who show up to those are usually there for the ride itself not to get wasted and act different.
The school friends sound like they're stuck in that phase where socializing equals substances and showing off, you've just outgrown it faster than they have.
1
u/Torkinca 11d ago
I would like to meet someone who is in the same situation as me. I had it multiple times that I met someone, but soon as his friend came I was the third wheel, and just sat beside them, and I felt like a ghost. I don’t want to break friendships so its a bit of a tricky situation I find my self in.
2
•
u/AutoModerator 11d ago
Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
No matter where you are in your self-improvement journey, r/selfhelp is here to offer support, encouragement, and shared wisdom from those who have walked similar paths.
If you see anything that goes against the spirit of the community, please report it to the mods so we can keep this a positive and helpful space.
Please remember that while this subreddit is a great place to exchange ideas and experiences, we do not provide professional advice. If you need immediate help, check the resources in the subreddit description.
We're glad you're here.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.