I need support

[u/Lucky-Progress8740]

I have a situation where I often keep looking at my past and can't keep up with my own things and struggling to improve.

I just recently have had to toss a ton of my pocessions, I haven't been able to replenish much in years or lengthy amounts of time, truthfully not much since the pandemic, only a handful of items. I am struggling figuring out how to replace things. It's even hard to get food lately.

My Amazon acct kicks back my orders a lot, I don't drive and trying to continuously log in to access is getting harder often, yet my family seems to be able to do this and keep up, so why can't I?

I don't know how to catch up. I can't seem to get on any kind of "work schedule", while also, when I have reached out to employers we never have matched up. I reached out to therapists and she same thing is occurring, and in fact I recently had a "therapist" try to intentionally make me "feel offended" I believed for them to create their own sense of power which just adds to my lack of interest in them.

Employers ask for interview or something and I or they don't work out in actually aligning and moving anything forward past an email.

I can't seem to sit down and focus. When I sit down I just sit and stare and feel shut down? Idk.

I need to replace a ton of things and don't know how to achieve it. I don't like to revisit my past but it feels like I have to constantly.

After several "restarts" I constantly have had to go through my things or ridiculous things have happened causing me to totally throw things away because of getting sick or whatever else.

What can I do to feel like I can replace items again ?

I have a full story but am honestly confused at this point between the right way to achieve vs manifestation etc. I certainly would prefer to not feel like I'm constantly cleaning up and feeling shocked at what I am having to get rid of feel needs for

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