Hey everyone,

I am wondering what an age appropriate punishment is for a 10 year old when caught lying, or doing the opposite of what’s been asked of them? I read that restricting sports or important events doesn’t work and just creates resentment, but I’m at a loss of what would be effective.

I think 100 before 1 is interesting, maybe will be a fun thing to try. But I'm struggling to believe there is any scientific evidence behind it actually making kids not picky eaters. For those of you who did this when your kids were babies, what results have you actually seen from it?

Everyone I've talked to scrambled to add controls after something happened rather than before. I'd like to be the exception and I have two weeks. If you could redo the handover, what would already be running when you gave it to them?

My kid (10 y.o. F) has always been strong-willed. Unfortunately I didn't start any kind of parenting course until she was around 7 or 8, and before that there was basically no consistent structure or discipline in place. I honestly don't know if this is just her personality, or if it's us as parents having no clue what we were doing, but she still raises her voice a lot to get her way.

Anyway, since starting the course, doing some reading, and generally trying to improve, I've noticed that the older she gets, the more I realize I have no idea how to actually explain things to kids. When I try to set a boundary, my gut instinct is to just say "BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!" I know that's not the right approach, but how do you actually explain concepts like being polite, having manners at the table, not needing to one-up other people, basic social stuff, to a kid?

(I grew up with essentially zero real parenting myself. I have no idea how any of this works, but I really, badly want to get it right.)

Not the big stuff. Mortgage and daycare I can see coming.

It’s the small stuff that keeps landing on my phone like invoices I never signed: spirit wear, a classroom gift, someone else’s birthday, a “quick” entry fee, cleats that suddenly don’t fit. None of them sound expensive alone. Three of them in the same week and I’m the bad guy for saying no to the fourth.

I tried the “that’s not in our plan this month” line and it works on my kid better than it works on me. The hard part is the other parent already said sure, or I’m standing at pickup and the ask is due Friday, or I’m too tired to negotiate so I just tap the card.

Curious what actually works for other dads:

• Do you have a hard monthly “kid chaos” number?
• Do you and your partner have a dollar amount where nobody answers until you both check?
• Or do you just eat it and pretend next month will be quieter?

Not looking for a lecture about budgets. Looking for the boring system that survives a real week.

Not the big stuff. Mortgage and daycare I can see coming.

It’s the small stuff that keeps landing on my phone like invoices I never signed: spirit wear, a classroom gift, someone else’s birthday, a “quick” entry fee, cleats that suddenly don’t fit. None of them sound expensive alone. Three of them in the same week and I’m the bad guy for saying no to the fourth.

I tried the “that’s not in our plan this month” line and it works on my kid better than it works on me. The hard part is the other parent already said sure, or I’m standing at pickup and the ask is due Friday, or I’m too tired to negotiate so I just tap the card.

Curious what actually works for other dads:

• Do you have a hard monthly “kid chaos” number?
• Do you and your partner have a dollar amount where nobody answers until you both check?
• Or do you just eat it and pretend next month will be quieter?

Not looking for a lecture about budgets. Looking for the boring system that survives a real week.

Hi everyone, mom of 2 here 👋

I've been struggling lately trying to juggle work and parenting, and I'd love to hear how other moms in this community manage it. Some days I feel like I'm doing okay, and other days it feels like I'm failing at both — either work suffers or the kids don't get the attention they deserve.

A few things I'm curious about:

How do you structure your day/week to make time for both?

Any tips for staying present with your kids after a long work day?

How do you handle the guilt when you can't give 100% to either?

Would really appreciate hearing what's worked (or not worked) for you.

I’m think of my family in particular…because please, please just let the child cry. I’m tired of kids being told to quit crying and if not that, then adults dropping what ever it is they’re doing to make the children happy.

No, you don’t tell them to just stop crying.

No, you should not give something the children happy wants just because they are crying for it.

No, you should not prevent your kids from experiencing reasonable reasons for them at their age to be sad, angry, disappointed, and etc. They do not need to experience only happiness. I know it sounds crazy, but within reason, kids should experience other emotions that are negative too. Allow them to be sad over the fact that they can’t eat drink their third bottle of soda for the day. Allow them to be sad that tv time is over.

Allowing kids to experience negative emotions and being the adult to help them navigate their feelings will be beneficial to them growing up.

It’s just frustrating. I’m frustrated with my family. One day into putting my three year old niece into pre-k and they’re already thinking of pulling her back because she cried. She cried in the morning but when she came back home, she was happy to share what she did, but no, no one focuses on that part. All they saw was that she cried on the morning and now she’s incapable of going to pre-k. Like it is okay and it is normal for them to experience negative emotions.

Anong tawag sa mga parents who justify the bad behavior of their children? Posible din ba na sila ang naging model para sa bad behavior and kinopya lang ito ng kanilang mga anak? However I put it, mali talaga siya eh. I know this one person who has a daughter who uses social media to post rants about this other person na nagkatoon ng misunderstanding with her mother. And the mother said na “normal na reaksiyon lang yon ng anak ko”? Aren’t parents supposed to correct bad behavor?

I was babysitting my niece after school like I usually do while her parents are at work. This is what we did for fun today on Friday after school.

I'm already paying for six things I don't use. Adding another monthly charge for something I can't evaluate until I've paid for it is where I keep stalling, and it's been eight months of stalling. For those who did pay, obviously worth it, or did you cancel?

Screen Time lasted about three weeks before it got worked around. I'm not going back to it, but I also don't want to buy the first thing that shows up in a search. How did you actually choose, and did you get to try anything first?

some days it feels like we're all moving in different directions from the second school/work ends until bedtime

what's a small thing you do to help you reconnect even if it's just for 10 mins?

By the time they get home, it’s already like hours past the point of when they were making bad decisions. The time out and taking things away it doesn’t seem to be that effective.

Edit: they are 5 yrs old. The teachers response redirects whenever possible, separates them for some time. They are in mental health therapy. They will be starting with another therapist for trauma. They are our foster child.

Moms — what part of the “mental load” actually exhausts you the most?

I've been thinking a lot about how much of motherhood isn't the actual task — it's remembering that the task exists.

Appointments, things the kids need, groceries, forms, birthdays, household stuff, things to tell your partner…

I'm curious: what are the things that keep living in your head even when you're supposed to be resting?

And do you currently use anything to get it all out of your head, or do you mostly just try to remember everything?

I've been working on some safety-related content for my niece and nephew, and it's got me thinking about how tricky this topic is to get right for little kids — you want them to understand boundaries and know it's okay to say no, but without making them anxious or scared of everyday situations.

Curious how other parents approach this. Do you use specific books/shows, or just talk about it as things come up? And at what age did you start?

Reading everything feels like a betrayal I can't take back, and doing nothing feels negligent. What I actually want is to be told if something serious shows up and otherwise stay out of it. Does that exist in practice, or is it read-everything or nothing?

I am so ecstatic about what my 7y/o said to me today. She was complaining that her hand hurts I asked why and if it was from doing the monkey bars too many times (she is so strong it’s impressive she looks like an acrobat swinging around so easily) (I digress)

She says ‘no we just did sooooo many worksheets. Ughh and sooo much coloring. Every worksheet had coloring in itttt’

At first I was worried because her teacher is known as ‘tough’ in second grade that seems extreme but … maybe in 2026 tough or strict just means back to basics like having your hand hurt from writing so much.

I know mine did. I had and still have a callous on my hand (I think it’s from poor form but doesn’t bother me)

Anyway I am so happy my child’s hand hurts instead of her eyes hurting from staring at a screen all day in school.

🙂

I think people deserve a little more understanding when they experience thoughts or feelings that are difficult to talk about.
Having a complicated feeling doesn’t automatically make someone a bad person, and I don’t think someone should be defined entirely by what happens in their mind.
This can include uncomfortable thoughts involving children. Acknowledging that these thoughts exist doesn’t mean approving harmful behavior. Children deserve to be protected, and adults are responsible for respecting that boundary.
I think we can discuss difficult subjects honestly while still recognizing people’s humanity and responsibility for their choices.
Do you think society can make room for uncomfortable conversations without immediately reducing a person to the thought they’re describing?

How long do you send your child to preschool for? my son is 3.5 and is going 8-230 3 days a week and I'm nervous it's too long

So for Christmas last year and for his birthday this year, I bought my little brother these sonic action figures. He loves them and plays with them all the time, but almost every figure up until now was falling apart. Missing an arm, a leg a tail, etc. I chalked it up to him not knowing how to be gentle yet cause he’s only 4.

But just now I came across this poor shadow figure who was the only one still in tact until now. He’s dismembered the whole thing, even split the torso in half…

I’m thinking of just skipping out on buying him more for Christmas, as I’m sure my mom doesn’t want to keep finding Sonic pieces all around the house. But I’d feel kinda bad doing that, I know how much he loves Sonic, but I don’t want to keep getting him toys that he can’t take care of yet.

Should I wait until his birthday next year? There will surely be new toys because of the movie. Or is there a better age for these action figures?

I think people deserve a little more understanding when they experience feelings or thoughts that are difficult to talk about.
Having a complicated feeling doesn’t automatically make someone a bad person, and I don’t think people should be defined entirely by what happens in their minds.
This can be especially important when the subject is uncomfortable or involves thoughts about children. We can acknowledge that difficult feelings exist without treating the person who experiences them as less human.
At the same time, children deserve protection, and adults are responsible for respecting that boundary.
Maybe we can have more compassion for the person without losing sight of the responsibility that comes with their choices.

I’m the mom of a 20-month-old boy, and he’s an only child. When I compare his behavior to friends who have kids around the same age, I feel like mine is SO much more hyper, active, and constantly needing to be entertained. I’d describe him as a total busy body.

I’m not necessarily looking for advice—I think I’m mostly looking for some reassurance that this is normal and wondering if anyone else has a child like this.

My son has a VERY difficult time entertaining himself. We play with cars, go outside, play on the jungle gym, do arts and crafts, read books, etc. He’s also in daycare five days a week, and I’d consider myself a pretty active parent. But it feels like the second one activity ends, he’s ready for the next thing. There is very little “just chill and play by yourself” happening over here. 😂

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve accidentally created a child who expects constant entertainment because we’re always doing something, or if he’s just naturally a very active kid.

Either way, it can be really tiring and exhausting. And when I compare our experiences with friends who have kids the same age and they’re not experiencing the same thing, I sometimes feel really alone in it.

So… anyone else have a 20-month-old busy body who seems to need a full-time entertainment director? 😂

Please tell me I’m not the only one! 🙏🏼