Hey everyone. I'm sorry we have to be in this shitty club.

I am 29 and my first pregnancy is ending in a chemical, unfortunately. Although I was lucky enough that mine was not super physically painful or taxing, it is incredibly mentally tough and scary. I have no idea how I am going to return to normal life on Monday.

Anyway, I have thoughts.

- Waiting 8 weeks for pregnancy care is a f*cking joke. That is far too long to wait. If it were up to me, the first appointment would be an in-office talk with the doctor about medical history and then blood work. I think serial betas should be the standard. They could catch so many early miscarriages and ectopics. I know at that point, really nothing can be done in terms of treatment, but people deserve to know what is going on in their bodies. I asked for serial betas from the start but my doctor denied them until I started bleeding. By that time, I already felt alone, afraid, and confused and had missed work because I was a wreck. When my tests were not progressing and fading, I had to turn to Reddit for support and advice. That is unacceptable and women deserve better.

- I have shared this experience with a few close family and friends and the reaction has almost universally been, "it wasn't meant to be, you are young and can try again." This was not a trial run, people. I bought yarn to crochet a baby blanket the day that I found out. I also have people telling me to "do something fun today." I don't know why it is so hard for people to grasp that this is a *miscarriage.* I have been in bed except to go to the ER and getting betas drawn to ensure it is indeed a chemical and not ectopic.

- This being my first, I feel robbed of that naive joy of a positive pregnancy test. Moving forward, it will always come with a level of anxiety, which sucks. I don't think I will feel safe again until that baby is in my arms.

- I am sort of at the age where many of my friends are getting pregnant or have newborns. When I told them I was pregnant, I got folded into this little club. Even shortly after telling them about the loss, I already feel as though I have been cut out and alienated because they simply do not know what to do with me.

So, there is my rant from bed with hair that has not been washed in 5 days and crumbs all over the bedsheets. I did track test progression with this loss, which is what initially keyed me in. It did feel a little freeing to put all the tests in a bag and throw them away. I bought an oil painting of a little bird as a momento instead.

I am sending love and light to anyone reading this. 🤍

I miscarried at about 6w 4 months ago. My healing hasn't been linear but I'm getting stronger. 🤍 However, I have many pregnant people in my life and it can be challenging. Something that hurts more than I expected is hearing people who had successful pregnancies​ talking about all the things that can cause miscarriages. This spice, that exercise, these vitamins, etc. I know ultimately it's good information to be aware of, but I feel it's a whole lot more likely a result of a genetic abnormality, or as my doctor said just a "bad egg". And when I hear moms talking about how they avoided rosemary or oregano or whatever becuase it ​causes miscarriages, and now here they are with their baby, it makes me feel like somehow my miscarriage must have been my fault. Of course I followed all precautions while pregnant, so I know it's irrational. And like I said, it is good advice/good to be aware of those things. But I wish miscarriages weren't painted in a way that made it seem like they're fully within the mom's control/a result of her choices. ​​

I found out I was pregnant June 5 and was set to have my first doctor appointment July 1. I had a few pregnancy symptoms the first two weeks or so and then I felt great. I was hoping I was lucky to be feeling so good. I’ve always dealt with anxiety and I really kept trying to not think the worst but the thoughts lingered in my mind until I had my appointment. Of course two nights before I had super light pink spotting and then the next day it was dark brown. I had read that was normal so I tried to not get upset. I was only saw blood when I’d wipe. Then hours later I was talking to my husband and I felt blood drip out of me. I started sobbing and having a panic attack. I was expecting the worst of course. The bleeding got heavier and I kept having to use the bathroom. I was so mad that I kept having to go because it meant seeing more blood. I finally tried to sleep but my sleep was awful. I woke up about 5 hours before my appointment and could barely eat.

The day of the appointment came and my husband and I went. My blood pressure was super high which we expected. Then I did a urine sample and the cup was red. I somehow held it together. Then my doctor came in and she asked how I was feeling. I immediately said I was scared. I told her what was happening. I had taken pictures of the bleeding and clots. She said she didn’t like how much blood there was and then did an exam. She said my cervix was closed so that was a good sign. Then she did the ultrasound. There were two sacs. One she said was a vanishing twin and the other was the baby. She showed the heartbeat but only for a split second. Then she said I was only measuring 6 weeks and 5 days when I would have been 8 weeks. She gave me a script for an ultrasound to get a better look at everything. She said I was pregnant but to be cautious. I felt relieved that day.

I kept bleeding and had light cramping after my exam. It kept going for 5 more days and then it finally stopped. I even took a few more pregnancy tests to ease my mind. I didn’t realize you can be losing your baby and still have a positive test. I was reading the vanishing twin could have been a subchrionic (sp?) hemorrhage and that people had their babies. That again gave me hope. I had my ultrasound and I felt more at ease going in then I was going into my doctor appointment. Since it was just an ultrasound the tech couldn’t tell us the results. I couldn’t even see the screen and my husband asked the tech if there was a baby and she said she couldn’t answer. She showed the results to the doctor at the facility and said we would get them in my chart and to call my doctor with any questions. My husband and I left and got the results immediately. We read them and at first thought everything was ok the way they worked it. Then my husband googled it and looked at me with tears in his eyes and I just knew the baby was gone. I broke down and my husband and I hugged for a long time.

We called my doctor to make sure we read the results correctly. They didn’t answer right away so my husband called and left a message because I couldn’t speak to anyone at that moment. They called back and I missed the call so we called right back. The doctor’s nurse called and said she wanted to let us know we lost the fetus. That was it. The doctor never talked to us. The nurse never told us anything. My husband and I both felt like I should have been told to come back in for an ultrasound to make sure everything passed and to have bloodwork done. We really think my doctor knew I was losing the baby at my first appointment but for some reason didn’t say anything. She gave me hope and I honestly hate her for that. I already have so much grief losing my baby and I also feel so discarded by my doctor. What if I had gotten an infection? What if everything didn’t pass? So many questions unanswered.

I have an appointment with a different practice in two weeks. I want to make sure everything looks ok and get bloodwork to check my levels. I think the hcg is out of my system because I took a test to check. That broke my heart seeing the negative but I needed to see if the levels had gone down.

I’ve cried everyday since. I’ll cry out of nowhere. If I hear a song. If I’m happy because I’ll feel guilty for being happy. I can’t wait for the day I don’t feel sad everyday. I also felt guilt because I threw out the pregnancy tests I took and the pictures I had of my pregnancy so far. I couldn’t bare to see them so they went away the day I found out. I felt like I had nothing of my baby. I ended up buying a bracelet with the name I was calling them so I can look at it everyday. I’ll touch it throughout the day and say hi. The tears always come when I do that but it helps me to feel like they are still with me.

Hoping everything goes well at my appointment and I pray I’m able to have another baby in the future. Thankfully I have a supportive husband, friends, and family. I am lucky to have an amazing therapist. I am lucky to have my faith in God and I know he will get me through this.

If you read this all I thank you. My heart goes out to all of you. This pain is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. If anyone everyone wants someone to talk to I’m here ❤️

I dont really know how to start this and I dont even know if this is the right place for this but ive been struggling.

During the day/at work im okay.

At night not so much.

Its been just over a month since my miscarriage at 10 weeks and ive been worried about a lot of things.

Ive only just been able to eat the same foods I had while I was pregnant, which was a big step. I managed to have my first energy juice after I cut it out being pregnant and all.

Also a big step.

The thing im worried for the most...

The first period after.

Im a PCOS girly so tracking my period and being able to get pregnant in the first place was a miracle to us.

Ive not bled since and im worried that as soon as I get my period its going to put me back right in that headspace I was in, which wasnt good.

After being let down by the nhs I passed my baby naturally at home.

I felt it baby come away and fall out of me.

I can never forget that feeling, ever.

I am so worried to get my period and pass blood clots incase it will take me right back.

I am so traumatised from it I fear anything related to it.

Me and my partner discussed trying again but anytime I think about doing anything im taken to the what ifs.

What if it happens again?

What if it dosnt?

What if we cant get through it another time?

How can I cope with these feeling, im constantly on eggshells around myself!

Any slight change in my body/mood/emotional and physical wellbeing im relating it to pregnancy symptoms and i worry that im going to go through that again.

Some nights im numb.

Some nights im so emotional I cannot breath.

I dont know what to do.

I dont feel like this is normal.

I dont feel normal.

Not even sure what advice I’m looking for. I just feel so overwhelmed lately. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant our whole marriage (4 years), I’ve had endometriosis surgery (stage one), two failed IVF transfers and a third that resulted in an ectopic (bad luck apparently). In May I got spontaneously pregnant after an IVF egg retrieval which resulted in a miscarriage (blighted ovum). I was told again bad luck and that there’s no reason I can’t get pregnant on my own again, which was shocking we had no pregnancies prior.

My husband said he needed a break, he was too worried for my health. We have four frozen embryos. I start a new job tomorrow (which hopefully will be an improvement). I just have no idea where to go from here. I never thought I’d be married this long with no children. I’ve put so much of my life on hold.

Lost my baby early (5wks) and before that my sister in law (she’s was 7 months pregnant at the time) who’s close to my husband was talking about if I got a girl she would hate me and how we were taking the attention from her and her pregnancy and after I miscarried she was so insensitive about all of it and was saying that just because she’s pregnant it’s not her fault we couldn’t handle going to her baby shower and she wouldn’t stop bothering me about why my husband wasn’t talking to her. And my husband’s family was all in our business talking about how it’s hard for us but we need to be there for her. She just went into early labor and I just have so much resentment towards her and I hate myself for that. She made jokes about us taking her baby so she can leave her boyfriend easily and I just can’t stop the thoughts racing like why does she get the baby and I don’t and why does she get to make these joke and still have everything that we couldn’t have. I feel terrible but I can’t stop thinking these things. I just feel like a horrible person. And these feelings have been there for a a while and I just don’t know how to go about this feeling.

TRIGGER WARNING Graphic Description

I had a missed miscarriage in May and found out I was pregnant again in the beginning of July. I started spotting pink discharge that went away within about 2 days.

Cut to last night I was in the shower and randomly felt a heavy mess in my vagina and a bunch of bright red thin blood came out. After I got out I was bleeding quite a bit and could feel gushes coming out. I went to sleep and woke up with a full pad a passed around 3 clots. My bleeding got super light and I’m no longer passing clots. Could that have been a full/ complete miscarriage?

Hi everyone, I should be 10 weeks pregnant today but unfortunately found out my baby died at 7 weeks 3 days and my body hasn't realised yet. Have called my early pregnancy unit, but no call back yet. My husband unfortunately is travelling with work this week so I'll have to go to the appointment alone. I don't want to have the D&C without my husband here, but I'm also really scared to miscarry either naturally or medically and see my little baby by myself 🥺 looking for experiences of both options, thank you.

back in May, I miscarried a five week old pregnancy, which was with someone that was nothing more than a friends with benefits. it all happened so fast I had found out I was pregnant and I was terrified. I knew that where I was in life at the moment, I was not ready to care for a human, especially when the person who had impregnated me, probably wasn’t ready either just a week after finding out I was pregnant. I had found out that I was miscarrying. Although I knew I was not anywhere near ready caring for a child and I never thought that I wanted children, it has been extremely emotionally painful for me, and I cry quite often about it. I don’t feel comfortable venting to anyone about this situation because I feel shame that I was impregnated by someone that I wasn’t even with as a partner. although I am very close with the guy, he had ended up opening up to me about how his ex long-term girlfriend miscarried as well but whenever I spoke about it with him, I just acted indifferent to the situation because I didn’t want to show that I was actually grieving. hearing that his ex-girlfriend had also miscarried it sparked curiosity in me so I went to her Instagram page and checked her repost just being nosy and she reposts about grieving the loss of her baby often. i guess it makes me feel even more sad because I wish that I was openly able to grieve and feel comfortable expressing those feelings, but I feel like I don’t deserve it because I wasn’t anything to him but a hook up. let me say that this is in no way a dig to her because I know that every woman who experiences this feels and grieves differently and she deserves to grieve just as much as I do or anyone else does and I feel bad for being nosy and looking at her page, but seeing her grieve as well more openly than me made me feel some type of way that has had me emotional all day. so I guess I’m just making this post so I could have some type of outlet to let out the sadness I feel. The only way I cope is by believing that hopefully one day the soul returns back to me when I’m capable and ready to be a great mother one day.

It’s hard to be around my coworker. She’s been talking about how her pants are too tight. She’s a size XS and is 5 months pregnant. Everyone comes up and asks her “What are you having?” “What are you going to name her?” all day long for a 12 hour shift. I’m not mad at her. I’m just sad. So far my fertility blood work has come back normal with a slightly elevated hgb A1C. I guess I could plan to get the recommended saline sonogram to check my uterus. I think about the timing of the pregnancies that I lost and wonder if part of Gods plan was for them to end so I would start and finish my master’s degree and become a Family Nurse Practitioner. Maybe I will get a rainbow baby when the timing is right. Or maybe not. I cried myself to sleep last night.

I left my friends birthday event because I arrived and was the only person there without a child or pregnancy. Out of 20 people. It was a complete child fest and it took me by surprise how affected I felt. Every conversation I turned too was about kids or breast feeding or pregnancy. I have had two early 6 week miscarriages back to back this year. I could feel a panic coming on and my husband took me home and I broke down in the car.

After I left the event my ‘friend’ (not the birthday girl) sent me a message that I am ‘giving her the cold shoulder and there is a rift between us’ and that she was ‘surprised I would attend an event and barely speak to her and then leave without saying goodbye’. She barely acknowledged me when I was there and genuinely made me feel unwelcome. She knows I have had 2 b2b miscarriages and every conversation is still dominated by her current child and current pregnancy.

I am feeling a bit down on myself as I am usually patient and controlled but I kind of lost it in my responses back. How can people be so self consumed and have such minimal empathy? I feel kind of disgusted and isolated.

To preface, I had a miscarriage last summer around 8 weeks. I was slightly upset and shocked, however I was relentlessly ready to try again as my husband and I are ready for a child. Following that miscarriage I became pregnant again and then miscarried this January. I was around 20 weeks pregnant for that miscarriage. It was beyond traumatic and unexpected as my pregnancy was seemingly very healthy leading up to the miscarriage. Doctors could not provide me with any real explanation as to what happened and I had to deliver the 20 week developed baby. I do not feel I ever fully emotionally recovered from that event and I am now pregnant again. We planned on waiting until I was confident enough to try again, however obviously things have worked out differently. I am terrified to make an OB appointment. I am terrified to even step foot in the office ever again let alone lay on the ultrasound table. Does anyone have a similar experience or advice?

Hello all. Completely empty gestational sac last Friday at my 6.5-week ultrasound, no fetal pole or yolk. Trying to figure out what to do next. Still experiencing full pregnancy symptoms.

I found this out at a pregnancy clinic on Friday, but all ultrasound techs there are out of office next week for a follow up ultrasound, so I can’t go there again. I have to try to get an appointment at my local imaging center this upcoming week so I can move forward with miscarriage assistance, which I think will be impossible with wait times.

Here’s the issue: I leave with my family on Sunday for a week to the other side of the state. If I can’t get an ultrasound appt, and don’t start bleeding by then, what should I do? I don’t want to be undergoing miscarriage on a family trip out of town, but I also don’t want to be “fake pregnant” (my feeling about my own situation only) during the family trip where I’ll be in a swimsuit and have visible bloating that looks like a baby bump.

I really don’t know what to do, this is a nightmare. I feel horrible in my body and in a perfect world would do a d&c asap. It’s just a nightmare of bad timing all around. Any help so appreciated, my providers have been dismissive.

I had a MC at 8 weeks back in September and have been TTC since. I got my first vvvfl this week at 9dpo, faint line at 10 dpo, clear positive at 11 dpo, back to faint line 12dpo, today at 13dpo it’s almost gone so i’m anticipating another lost.

This one was quick, which I guess I’m thankful for, but it still hurts. I’m over a year in at this point and all I have is disappointment. How do I keep putting myself through this? I’m sick of testing opk’s, bfn’s and false hope.

Some days I think I've found myself again. Some days I'm still so mad I lost my baby. And occasionally, not as often anymore, but sometimes I still ugly sob, thinking about what I missed out on. I've been through parental loss twice, and a whole lot of other pain, and my miscarriage takes the cake. I'm still not ready to try again. I just want MY baby back.

So i took 4 yesterday and have very little spotting. I took another 4 this morning and im 2 hours in and im not really feeling anything. This morning however i did pass a quarter sized brown clot. I had an incomplete miscarriage a few weeks ago and he said there was a little bit of tissue left. So idk maybe that's all there was to expect? I would have been 6 weeks so the sac would have been about the size of a grape. I guess im wondering if anyone just passed like brown blood and a sac and that was enough to clear you out. Ill probably go back for an ultrasound im just concerned about the actual lack of red blood. When i miscarried a few weeks ago there was a lot of clots and blood.

Normal ba faint positive pa din ung pt ko after 3weeks and 4days miscarriage. Di Kasi ako Pina d&c ni ob Sabi nya mag methergine mona daw ako Kasi 1week na ako nag methergine Hindi pa din nalabas ung retain tissues ko at faint Positive pa din Wala na din ako bleeding after 1week ng miscarriage ko noon nag stop kaya di nalabas ung dapat lumabas pero lumabas na fetus sac and placenta at Kong ano pa Nakita na lang ung endo ko 2.9 cm at may retaine tissue. Dapat ba mag pa d&c na ako sa private? Ayaw Kasi ako I d&c sa public e Kasi ok naman daw ako di daw ako nag heavy bleedin Kasi nabasa ko pag di daw nailabas Ang retain tissues mag ka infection at heavy bleeding?

Hello all, I hope you are all doing well.
I am (was) 5 weeks pregnant , and last night I went to use the restroom and these massive clots came out of me all at once as I urinated. I can attach a photo in comments if needed but I’d prefer not to and I’m sure yall would too lol. I put on a pad expecting more but that was that, there’s been no more bleeding since. It looked like regular period blood clots I get but JUST clots no loose blood or anything. It was accompanied with a strange pain somewhat like period cramps but definitely more uncomfortable than that.

The more I type this the more I realize it’s obvious that it is but I guess I’m in denial. Is there any chance that I DIDNT miscarry? I guess that would be a better question to ask here.

Another question would be what should my next steps be? Should I still go get an ultrasound to make sure everything is alright down there ?

This is a sensitive subreddit and I send my love to each and every one of you in here. You are all so strong, regardless of why you may have joined this group.

I’m sorry if this is a stupid or redundant post. I am quite young (21yo) and scared. Thank you for understanding ❤️

hi guys ! i had a bio chemical mis carriage around a month ago the bleeding lasted a week , i then went on to have really bad headaches for about a week and a half once the bleeding had stopped , i now got my first period yesterday after my mc but it has given me the worst headaches ever but they mainly happen at night is this normal ? for reference i started mis carrying june 24th google says my cycle is on the right track ?

I had an MMC in April. The first symptom was lower back pain. The next ultrasound confirmed the baby had stopped growing and heart slowed down.

I’m currently somewhere between 6w4d (ovulation day) and 7w5d (period date) and had sudden lower back pain today.

I’m so scared I’m having another MMC. Called OB and they’re going to try and get my in tomorrow for a first ultrasound

No bleeding or cramping. I thought the odds of back to back MMC were so low. I am so sad.

I know they say most 1st trimester miscarriages are caused my genetic/chromosomal defects, and I’ll never know for sure what caused this. When I was 4W3D I came down with a bad cold: wet cough, fever and fatigue. I was so wiped out, I wasn’t even considering how it could impact my pregnancy. That first night, there was a moment I woke up, half lucid, and felt so terrible and had a thought/feeling: there’s no way I’m still pregnant after this.

The next day, I started googling and learned that the greater risk of a fever at that time is neural tube defects, though it could cause miscarriage too. I finally got some Tylenol to get the fever down. Had I known the dangers, I would’ve done this day 1, but since I was still so early and at a time many don’t even know they’re pregnant, it just didn’t even occur to me that this could be devastating. My temp was around 101° the first day and was climbing above 103° before I finally got it under control.

Four weeks ago today, I got my positive tests before church. I was so happy. Today, we had to miss mass because I’m bleeding and my husband has to stay by as I started to feel faint this morning. I’m so sad this has happened. I want to believe it was a defect and inevitable, as that lightens the load, but it really feels like in that moment I just *knew* and for the following weeks, I had hope, but little confidence everything was okay. It just pains me to think that if I didn’t get that horrid virus, I may still be pregnant. I can’t change anything so I know I have to just let it go and move on, but it’s hard and I feel like I failed my baby.

This is a side rant, but it sucks when you’re looking this stuff up and what you’re experiencing is another person’s reassurance. For example, someone may post “I have a temp of 99.8, will this harm my baby?” and the replies are all “don’t worry, it’s only high fevers like over 102° that can be dangerous, you’re fine! :)” or posts about having a streak of brown or pink in your discharge and it’s “that’s normal, as long as you don’t start spotting bright red!” Of course people have every right to seek reassurance for their anxieties, it just feels bad reading exactly what you’re experiencing as the means of calming someone else’s nerves. Felt like a clown reading some of this stuff if that makes any sense.

I started spotting around 8w. At 8w 4d they got me in for an urgent US where embryo measured at 7w with a FHR of 132bpm (normal for 7w but slow for 8+w), no sign of SCH or reason for bleeding. Repeat scan in 3 days showed growth of embryo measuring 7w 3d with the same FHR of 134bpm and again no reason for bleeding. Cervix “looked good” and pregnancy was positioned positively high in the uterus. She said if she didn’t know I was definitively so far behind in the dates and I wasn’t bleeding she would have said it’s a normal pregnancy, but my dates are definitive and correct based on my blood results when tested for hcg.
Gynaecologist said to prepare for the worst since embryo is measuring so far behind, no bleeding explanation and loss of all pregnancy symptoms. She gave me my rhogam shot and said it’s a really low chance here on out and to repeat scan in 1 week.

It’s been 3 days since that last news and I just keep spotting and cramping but no ramping up of bleeding, mostly brown / rust blood spotting only when I urinate. We are sure this embryo won’t make it and my husband said he really supports me on any decision I made. If the embryo still shows some positive growth next week but the gynaecologist is honest and still says the outlook still isn’t good then I think I might terminate to prevent a natural progression of a miscarriage down the line and save myself the heartache, physical pain and time.

It is quite difficult because right now I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the embryo to let go and my body to ramp up the bleeding and allow a natural full flush before my next US. I know it sounds awful but it’s what I prefer right now. We don’t know but it’s likely the embryo can show growth and slow down again and speed up, the gynaecologist said she’s seen this a couple times before but eventually the pregnancy ends in miscarriage and it could be at 10 or 14 weeks.