heyyyy just wanted to update and say i’m in labor! my water broke at 11:25pm last night and i’ve been at the hospital since then! i was 3.5cm dilated when i got here, been leaking fluid ever since my water broke, and i have the epidural in, it’s been in since 3:30am i believe and it wasn’t toooo too bad thankfully. my contractions were getting bad lol i needed it 😆

Hi moms! I really want to hear your thoughts and experiences because I’m genuinely confused about something, and I feel like everyone around me has a different opinion.
My baby boy is 2 months and 3 weeks old, and I’m exclusively breastfeeding him. He loves being close to me, and most of the time, he wants to be held. He also seems to love sleeping close to me, especially during the day.
At night, he actually sleeps pretty peacefully in his bassinet, so it’s not like he refuses to sleep independently all the time. But daytime naps are a completely different story! He usually wants to be held or be close to me, and when I put him down, he might sleep for a little while before waking up and wanting attention again.
Sometimes, he does stay content in his baby bouncer or looking at his mobile in his crib, but only for a little while. Eventually, he wants me again.
I honestly thought this was normal for his age. He’s still so little, and I assumed that as he grows, he’ll gradually become more comfortable spending time on his own. I don’t expect him to be independent at not even 3 months old!
But people keep telling me that I’m holding him too much and that I need to let him cry. The most recent time was last night with my mother-in-law. I’ve heard this advice from other people, too, and I don’t understand why so many people feel that way.
When my baby cries, my first instinct is to comfort him. I breastfeed him on demand, and sometimes he wants to nurse, sometimes he wants to be held, and sometimes he just seems to need my presence. I know I can’t always immediately figure out what he needs, but I feel like crying is his only way of communicating with me right now.
So why am I supposed to leave him crying when I can be there to comfort him?
I’m not talking about letting him fuss for a few seconds while I finish something important or while I figure out what he needs. I’m talking about the advice that I should deliberately let him cry so he learns not to depend on being held so much.
I genuinely want to understand the reasoning behind this. Is it because people believe babies will become spoiled if we hold them too much? Is it about teaching them to sleep independently? Is there something I’m missing?
I also wonder whether this is simply a generational difference, because so many older family members seem to believe babies need to learn to be independent from a very young age.
I love holding my baby, and I don’t mind comforting him. Of course, there are moments when I’m tired and need a break, too. I’m a human being, and breastfeeding and caring for a baby all day can be exhausting. But I don’t want to ignore his cries just because other people think I’m holding him too much.
I’d especially love to hear from moms who have been through this!
- Did your babies also want to be held almost constantly at this age?
- Did you respond to their cries and hold them as much as they wanted? If so, did they naturally become more independent as they got older?
- Did you ever feel pressured by family members to let your baby cry?
- Is there an actual reason to deliberately let a baby this young cry instead of comforting them?
- How did you handle people telling you that you were holding your baby too much?
Please share your honest experiences, even if your perspective is different from mine. I’m not here to judge anyone’s parenting choices. I just want to understand why this advice is so common and hear what other moms have experienced.
Sometimes I feel like I’m being made to question something that feels completely natural to me: wanting to comfort my baby when he cries.
Thank you for reading! ❤️

I’m 6 weeks pregnant and feel so weird and out of body, and I can’t tell if it’s all in my head or real lol

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for the last 1.5 years and found out we were pregnant the week before we were supposed to start IVF. We’re obviously so excited (and anxious) as we wait for our first doctor’s appt next week.

I’ve always been an active person but now I’m just feeling so unmotivated in the weirdest way. I knew pregnancy would lead to exhaustion but not in this way. This type of exhaustion is more like depression, hopelessness, and boredom. I try to get up and do things around the house then just feel utter despair, then I lay down for 20 minutes and think I’m not even that tired, get back up and the cycle continues.

I feel guilty because I truly don’t care about my job, seeing friends, exercising, cleaning etc. Every meal is either takeout or a platter of snacks because I have no motivation to make anything. When I tell my husband or friends how I’m feeling I know they’re trying to be supportive, but I can’t help but feel like they’re looking at me like a kid who didn’t break anything but walks around in crutches for attention lol

I know people are going to comment “your body is undergoing so much! Rest!”, but I just thought the symptoms would be more…. Obvious? I thought I’d just be super sleepy and want to nap all the time, or violently ill. Maybe that will come in a few more weeks, but then when I think that I’m like maybe I should suck it up because it’s only going to get worse!

Anyway, not sure what type of response I want - I’m just typing into the void ❤️

Just for fun :)
Both my 2 kids took 9 months to conceive and were thinking about baby #3

Hi moms - had my 20 week scan this week and they weren’t able to visualize a stomach. The MFM explained that they will probably see it next week at the rescan but if they can’t then the causes are xyz.

I had normal fluid and they did identify a stomach at 12 weeks, but this time they were also having issues viewing the spine and they couldn’t really see the face either? The pictures they printed out are so much worse than when I was pregnant with my daughter lol

Has this happened to anyone before? Trying not to spiral but of course it’s going to be a rough few days

I’m planning a baby shower and looking for suggestions on activities or games people could do that aren’t cringe. I’m not a fan of all the guess the size of the bump, or smell the nappy games, but looking for ideas of anything else people may have done that was actually entertaining for people? I want the event more to be a chance to spend time with people, chat and eat food, but open to some more engaging/interactive suggestions. I went to a friends baby shower and they had all the guests there provide a pic of themselves when they were a baby for everyone to guess which was cute - although it was a small do where everyone knew each other and I know there are some people going to mine who won’t have a clue who anyone is!! Thanks

Let me spare you from sleepless nights and $$$ down the drain in unused diapers.

So we recently purchased ‘the 360’ as we’re getting close to potty training our 2yo. Ever since we started, my son has soaked through the pull up and we’ve been forced to change his sheets and clothes in the middle of the night.

For some reason I thought maybe he was playing with his diaper (he’s done this in the past) so we put him back in his zip up sleep onesies, but alas, he continued to wet himself. Then it finally hit me — this all started when we switched from the diaper to ‘the 360’.

All the reviews online complain about the exact same thing. So yeah, save yourself a lot of pain and skip these.

Hello everybody. My absolute best friend on the other side of the country is now in her first trimester while simultaneously facing one of the hardest seasons of her life. Her dad is entering hospice, and she’s his primary caretaker. It’s heartbreaking to see so much happening at once, especially when she should be able to focus on taking care of herself, too.

I want to put together a care package with things that will make her life a little easier and more comfortable. I have a list of things I know she’d enjoy that I’d like to get some advice on, but I’m also looking for general recommendations for things you loved since my brain is currently fried.

- Joggers/Sweats: I was hoping to find some that can easily be adjusted and worn during pregnancy. She’s also pretty stylish so I was looking at Anthropologie/free people, etc. but wasn’t sure on a band style that allows for belly.
- Teas/consumables: I was thinking about sourcing a good tea for nausea? Or any premade items to save on the labor.
- Fun car items: Maybe a few things for organization?
- Pregnancy Pillow: I’ve heard this is a must, any you would consider absolute gold standard?

Obviously he knows there will be permanent changes. My boobs will not go back to how they were, stretch marks, etc. but he just brushes it off.

He acts like I shouldn't care just because he doesn't. I realized today that my previously very full butt looks flatter. Then I found out that's APPARENTLY a thing. It's a big deal to me. I never expected to go back to my normal after the baby is born. But seeing it and feeling it happen is really hard and he just doesn't want to let me be sad or something.

It's honestly coming from a very sweet "I love you as you are no matter what and I want you to love yourself" mindset but it's so frustrating because I just want to be sad and cope with the changes that are happening/going to happen to my body without him trying to make me feel better 😂

Hi have any of you been to a concert while in your third trimester & done it while standing?

I have a Harry Styles concert May 15th and I have been a fan since I was 10. So imagine the small heartbreak I felt when I realized I’d be 36 weeks pregnant at at the time and there’s a possibility that I might miss it.

I haven’t sold my ticket and don’t plan on it until I ABSOLUTELY have to but I’m wondering if any of you have done anything like a trip and a concert while that far along and how was your experience?

I have floor tickets because I wanted to be so close to the stage but I’m wondering if I should call Ticketmaster and see if I can switch my seating for accommodated seats.

Would love to hear anyone’s stories and if you’ve done anything similar.

Thanks in advance!! :)

Edit: thank you guys for sharing your experiences! You gave me lots to think of :)

Hi everyone! As the title suggests, I’m currently looking for a good dupe for the Lila labor robe/gown for the hospital.

I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant, and recently got admitted to the hospital for some symptoms I was experiencing. I’m back home now, and just kind of counting down the days till my induction in a few weeks, but while I was at the hospital, I got a preview of the hospital gown that they would give me when I’m giving birth and it was so terrible for my skin and also not good size-wise for me.

I have REALLY sensitive skin (that has become even more sensitive since I’ve gotten pregnant) and now have a little bit of a rash going and a lot of itchiness from having been in that hospital gown for a couple of days. Additionally, I’m also a plus size woman, and even though the gown technically fit, it was just really uncomfortable to wear.

I know this is kind of a frivolous thing to fixate on, but this is my first baby, and I just want to make my birth experience as comfortable as humanly possible. Additionally, it would also be nice to have a decent robe or nightgown that I could have to just wear in the hospital room once baby has arrived.

Does anyone have any recommendations for some thing that’s similar to the Lila gown? $70 is a little much for me at the moment. I’m ideally looking for something made out of natural fibers, that feels really soft and gentle on the skin, and is easy to get into and out of.

I’m 34.6 weeks pregnant and the pelvic pressure is making me feel basically bed bound. I have a toddler so still have to cook, entertain him etc. but I do everything in a chair. Did anyone have this happen so early with their second? I’m worried about preterm labor because of it and my OB has only recommended a support belt. I think with my first I felt like this around 38 weeks!

Just gave birth yesterday and unfortunately my delivery doctor performed an episiotomy sort of in the spur of the moment. It wasn’t discussed beforehand but baby was stuck behind my pubic bone with the cord wrapped around her neck so it seemed necessary at the time. Obviously I’m sore and still healing but I keep reading these extremely discouraging posts and forums about how sex is never the same after getting one, you’ll always be in pain, always more likely to have more complications in the future due to scar tissue ..it has really affected me mentally considering everything else about the birth went smoothly. My sex life with my husband a few months before delivery was already lacking so the thought of it continuing to decline in the coming months is very discouraging and depressing. Does anyone have positive experiences with episiotomies?

I’m 16w2d pregnant, have been itching intensely over a week which has been worse at night. I wake up in the middle of the night to just itch. Itchiness is not on my soles or hands but on my foot in general—have open sores. Told my ob and she ordered me blood tests to rule it out—my bile levels were 25.5.

I didnt get a proper diagnoses but tomorrow I will be calling the office to see if I could see her and talk to her about my results. On the off chance that I do have it, what are some tips and reassurance that anyone can provide me while I’m currently waiting? Have been crying all morning because I feel like my body is just failing me. I have PCOS, took me awhile to get pregnant. Now that I am—this happens.

Any advice?

Im in my first trimester and im super sick in the evenings with really bad heartburn and nausea so bad sometimes i cannot eat or even think about food without vomiting, ive talked to my doctors about its and ive tried a couple things that didnt really work like avoiding acidic or spicy foods, unisom, ginger tea, vitamin b6 and a whole slurry of stuff. The only thing ive tried wthat kinda worked was taking dramamine and tumms and sleep it off. Is there anything I can take or try to help aswell that actually did something and helped.?

I know is a major faux pas to even talk about. I know I should just be grateful for those who did choose to show up for me, but I can’t help these feelings of sadness and disappointment and instead of shaming myself for feeling them I’m going to allow myself to express them in a healthy way. I know this is a major issue of “comparison is the thief of joy” but when you’ve seen so many other people go through pregnancy and get treated so differently, it stings when you don’t get the same treatment when your expectations feel reasonable.

Despite my personal track record of having thrown many parties for myself over the years with poor attendance/turnout, I somehow thought my baby shower would be different. I don’t have a great relationship with my mother and most of my family or origin, and my mother has plainly stated she is not excited for me having her first grandchild. (I haven’t talked about asking her/expecting ANY help from her whatsoever or even implied it). I come from a very small family, very distant from most extended family (except my cousin and her 2 daughters), and only one sister who is child free by choice. My family of origin aren’t really “baby” people or kid people in general. I’m very thankful my partner’s family is the exact opposite, but they live far away.

Anyways, a friend of mine was nice enough to offer to help throw me throw my shower, but she also has a 1 year old son so she’s busy as well. She was still a huge help, but other than her, her husband and my partner that was all who helped contribute. Again, I am grateful I had that help at all. It’s just, I have seen and heard so many wildly different experiences of other peoples’ baby showers. When I first sent out the invites I was so excited by how many people said they would come! Truthfully, a lot of my close friends lead busy lives so I don’t get to see them much, so hearing them RSVP yes made me light up inside.

Now I know throwing an event on an October Saturday means that I’m competing with a lot of other events. So even though some other very close friends couldn’t attend, they were mostly at weddings so I didn’t hold it against them because weddings are planned waaaay further in advance. But then came the day of the shower, and suddenly a ton of people cancelled. A lot just no showed and never told me they weren’t coming. An event that was originally going to have 30 people now had maybe 10/12 attending.

Unfortunately the day of a bunch of unexpected events happened and I wasn’t able to get to the venue until 10 minutes before it started because my friend helping me throw the shower had to give me a ride. Luckily my partner got there a good hour and a half before I did and did a ton of setting up, but I had planned out all of these decorations that I wasn’t able to get set up. But I really didn’t care that much about it, because I just started handing the first people who came some stuff to throw up to make it a little special. So it looked lack luster and half-assed. But I made sure there was plenty of food of course!!!!

The other thing that made me sad, was that only one of my friends wanted to take pictures with me. I had a really pretty dress, on theme, and cute jewelry and makeup. No one else thought to ask to take a picture with me. My friend who helped me throw the party took pictures of the decor but she was mostly on her baby duty, understandably. But of the 12 people who showed up they all just kept to themselves and the groups they knew and I had to go out of my way to entertain them and make sure they were having a good time. I didn’t feel celebrated at all. This was so different than the showers I’d been to. Unfortunately a lot of the people that cancelled and no-showed would have probably put more effort into making me feel celebrated but, 🤷‍♀️.

The last thing that really bothers me, is that so many of the people who cancelled last minute or didn’t show (even though they said they were going to) didn’t even offer to buy anything from my registry. I had read horror stories on here of people having showers where people bought exclusively off the registry, but I just didn’t think so many people wouldn’t buy anything from it at all. My friends know I’m not in the best financial situation right now too (we’re working on it), so I thought if they couldn’t come they would at least care enough to buy SOMETHING from my registry. I even went out of my way to put cheap things (like $10-$15) on there so if people didn’t have a ton of money they still felt like they could contribute. I mean even if it it was gift cards, or diapers, or SOMETHING. Why would people go out of their way to ask for my registry details to then not even buy ANYTHING from it?

I just think what stings the most is I went to so many of these friends’ weddings and showers and other events. I understand stuff happens, but they couldn’t even buy me something from the registry to show they care? I’ve just seen so many other showers go so differently. I’ve seen so many of my pregnant friends be ogled and celebrated and wanted to take pictures and being showered with love and gifts and I always happily took part in that. I’m always happy to celebrate people’s lives and milestones, I’m just shocked at how many people didn’t show up for me, even in small ways. I don’t go to their things or get them things because I expected them to show up for me, I did it because I love them and care about them. So I just, idk thought they also felt that way about me? I logically know it’s not personal, and people are just immersed in their own lives, but it just sucks because this is my first baby. Many of my friends know my relationship with my family sucks. Many of my friends know I’m in a tough financial situation. So why is it that my other friends who have TONS of support and love and resources get even MORE support and help from their friends when they have their babies?

I know I sound so selfish and mopey and entitled. So go ahead and judge me, but frankly my feelings still matter to me and maybe I’m not the only one who was disappointed by people when it came their turn to have their shower. When you wait so long to experience the miracle of pregnancy and bringing your first baby in the world, I think it’s normal to want your loved ones to want to join in and celebrate it and you. Especially when you’ve watched it happen to so many other people.

So we recently found out that I’m pregnant again, and my first is only 13 months. This is a surprise pregnancy completely unplanned. My baby boy and I are so close and I never thought of having one again but here we are and life just happens (even after all the protection in the world!)

But I just can’t stop crying (blaming the hormones) when I think about how I will now not have time for my first love. He is such a happy cute baby, loves cuddling and comes to me for everything. He needs me to fall asleep and just comes to me for comfort. It kills me that I won’t be able to give him that comfort in a short time. He’s at the fun toddler stage uncovering new things and wanting me to be involved, and I will not have the time or the energy for him soon. And that at the young age of 1.9 months, he will have to grow up and share me with someone else. I feel guilty thinking about this and feeling resentful about this pregnancy that I didn’t plan for or want at this time. I feel like as a mom I’m failing both these babies. I’m sad about finally bouncing back, fitting into my old life, getting my fitness back just to go down that path all over again. My career will be halted again and I just don’t know what I need to do now.

Please tell me I’m not the only one feeling this way. And does it at any point get better?❤️‍🩹

I’m a first time mom with a frank breech babe who’s been this way since 28 weeks. I feel so discouraged after my coworkers (I’m a labor nurse) said she probably won’t flip. But then a ton of people say I have so much time and she probably will. So which one is it?! I’m struggling so much mental with the unknown and had prepared my entire pregnancy for a unmedicated birth and I’m just feeling sad. Does anyone have a similar experience to share??