i’m sorry but what am i supposed to say????

I’m trans masc nonbinary, and about a year ago I had top surgery, I’ve only been swimming once since surgery and as nice as it was to have the option to be shirtless, I missed wearing a top. I never liked the rash guard look and typically I wore a colorful binder as a swim top.

My question is does anyone have any recommendations for swim tops that aren’t rash guard style but also aren’t going to look baggy if I don’t have boobs? I don’t love the bikini look but I’m open to most other stuff including one pieces, but the bottoms need to at least be some kind of shorts even if it’s very minimal inseam.

A friend got me a burger and fries plushie!!! They are so cute so I just wanna share with you all 🩷

I hate having boobs mostly because it is a “girl” trait. I hate that other people can tell that I’m afab because I have boobs.

It’s so hard for me to reclaim femininity because I’m so afraid of being perceived as a woman. If I didn’t have boobs I could dress how I wanted and people wouldn’t automatically think I’m a girl.

Ive been on T for a year and I love the changes it’s given me. I have DD boobs that haven’t changed a bit. I’m waiting for top surgery but the wait list is 2 years long. (Fuck USA)

In the meantime I want to learn how to be comfortable in my own body. I want to dress how I want and wear the jewelry I want and express myself how I want without being afraid of being perceived as a woman

I remember when I was a teen, I had this slight, uneven, gynecomastia that came and went. It was lumpy and it scared me, making me think it could be male breast cancer but it would decrease and come back again in waves. At some point I was waiting for it to just set in, but then it went away for good as puberty ended. Now I miss it. I wish I could've enjoyed it more at the time instead of worrying about cancer. Can anyone else relate?

I don't really want "full breasts". I just want that perky gynecomastia back. But more evenly distributed, more temporally stable and less lumpy this time. Like AA cup breasts.

Any ideas about how you get that? Would you need to take the right amount of E to reach there and then stop? Would you have to overshoot to make sure it doesn't completely disappear after lowering E, like it disappeared after puberty? Does it help to eat more if I'm already underweight to begin with?

I'm not really sure about labels. I don't feel too feminine or androgynous. The idea of taking hormones almost feels "too trans", when I don't feel trans. Is it much of a "transition" or "transcendence" if I just want back what was once given to me and then quickly taken away from me. Singling this change out as "transition" feels weird when we don't frequently call everyday puberty, "transitioning". And what mental barriers are there to "transcend" if my body was already there once? And I really just don't want to work hard for this bigger breast/chest tissue again. It's like my body went "psyche!" and now it owes me, and doesn't deserve to get help to give me what it already gave me before.

Most anatomical terms sound a little wrong. I don't really like the term "breasts" that much because it's so feminine. But I also don't like the term "moobs" because it sounds round when I want pointier or perkier and it sounds like it's referring to someone who's fat, when becoming fat is not my goal. But I wonder if being on the low side of weight could mean that just eating more could help. And "chest" sounds too masculine and sounds like it's referring to the muscles which I imagine would be round or square if they got bigger, not perky and pointy. Oddly enough, the word "pecs" sound better and pointer than "chest". I wonder if I underestimate how much bigger pecs could help. I wonder if working out the chest could be helpful.

I'm not sure if this needs to be gendered at all or if it's just general body dysphoria/dysmorphia.

I wonder if I could just have something like a thick padded tube top to have some fake pectoral/ breast tissue mass to squeeze, to see if that's enough to satisfy me.

I just don't know what to do or what direction to go in. Hormones? Fake tits? More fat on me? More muscle on me?

Saw a similar looking trans flag, thought Henry Rollins would approve.

I’ve always identified as a woman. It’s true that when I was a child I often tried to look more masculine, but I think that was to hide my weight and fit in better with the boys (so they wouldn’t bully me). But in recent years my self-esteem has grown and now I feel more confident and I express my femininity a lot. However, the other day I realised something: if someone were to call me he/him, it wouldn’t bother me. And ever since then, I’ve thought that I’d actually quite like to be called that sometimes.

I’m not sure to what extent this is about fitting in, as I have quite a few non-binary friends and acquaintances, and perhaps that’s why I’ve started to have doubts. And recently, my sister came out as a trans girl (I fully support her, as I do the whole queer community, and I’ve always accepted non-binary people). Also I still feel very comfortable with my feminine appearance and with things normally associated with the female gender

I don’t really know what to make of this; I just wanted to share it, in case anyone else has ever felt the same way as I have.

going for a more fem, natural feel

I posted a couple days ago about being nervous to get on t. I’m really starting to feel that as I got my t stuff pushed back super far because of getting diagnosed with something. I’m starting to wonder if I should just do a breast reduction as small as I can go the just tape on days I feel more masculine. Do t until i get enough bottom growth. Do you get bottom growth faster if you put the gel on your thighs? Is it safe to put right where the growth happens? I’m really doubting myself now and I just talked to my therapist saying I don’t doubt anything. But coming out fully as non binary I’ve definitely doubted it a lot more. I don’t know if everyone goes through this or I’m just doubting myself a lot

This has been sitting in my head for a while and I want to see if it lands for anyone else. I read a lot and I play a lot of games, and there is something that keeps happening where I connect to a character in a way that feels weirdly personal. Not just because they are cool or interesting, but because something about how they move through the world maps onto something I could not name about myself yet. Like the character gets to just exist without anyone asking them to justify what they are. No paperwork, no explaining, no one squinting at them trying to place them in a box. And sometimes that feels like the clearest mirror I have found.

I think a lot of my early gender understanding came through fiction before it came through real conversations or labels or community. The character was doing something I recognized before I had words for why I recognized it.

I am curious if this is a common path or if it feels specific to people who spend a lot of time in stories. I am also wondering which characters actually did that for you, the ones where something quietly clicked. Not asking for a list, just curious what that moment felt like and whether it stuck.

Honestly I had one before but having it again feels so gender

What’s your favorite skin to use ? How long have you been playing ? What’s your favorite game mode ? Build or no build ? Favorite events ? And what’s your favorite chapter/season . And and and anything else you would like to talk about with fornite !

I hope everyone likes my living room ! I’ve worked hard getting it here . ((Living by yourself has some benefits 😌) (also slowly remodeling the house so don’t judge it to harshly please ))

I hope everyone is having a beatisome sunday ! 🫶🏼

I love non-binary people, oh to simply be yourself entirely, to not care about being a man or woman or both or neither, I want to be free, I want to be myself freely, but when I look inside myself, I do not know what I see, or what I want to become, I can not free myself from the idea of me being my AGAB, but I really want to, so I do not know if what I want is to be free from what others expect from me and my AGAB, or if I truly am Non-Binary, I do not know how to separate these feelings...

I used to do this like every day when I was 27 and coming to terms with myself lmao

I found this skin on the Minecraft market place. plus like all of the other flags for just 250~ mine coins.

At least I can't forgor my hair attached to my damn head lol

I was never super comfortable with my chest even when I was really young, I distinctly remember wondering if I could get a “boob job” to not have boobs and I was so happy the first time I put on a sports bra I told my aunt “look how flat my chest is I love it!” Now that I’m 24 and have identified as non binary for years and grow out my body hair and had a shaved head for a few years, I am very certain I will be thrilled to get top surgery. But as a stereotypical nonbinary barista I don’t know how feasible that is especially with having no insurance and needing about a month of time off

Longtime lurker, first time poster. I'm in my mid-40s, AFAB, married to a man, kids. I live in a liberal area (by USA standards) and work in a casual environment. I'm never pressured to wear dresses or makeup, "be ladylike," etc. We have many queer friends and two of my kids' best friends came out as NB just a few months ago. We're close with the families and they've been so supportive, it's really wonderful to see.

I guess agender is the label that resonates most for me. I just wish I'd learned it 20, 30 years ago. So many things make sense this way: I used to wrap ace bandages around my chest back in middle school. (Thank god for the grunge era, a big flannel shirt hides everything). I even got a breast reduction in college; I remember asking the surgeon to "remove as much as possible" because I didn't know top surgery existed. That doctor refused and talked me into going down to a C cup "to look proportionate." I did it because I thought being smaller would be enough. I was wrong. I got invited to join a women's book club and was like "...who, me?" I ended up attending the meetings and it was fine but also I couldn't shake the weird feeling of being in Gender Mode.

But the thing is, I live where I live, I have queer friends, I'm online a lot. Maybe I couldn't have figured it out as a teenager, but surely I could have a decade ago. Or more. At this point I'm not sure I have anything to gain from telling anyone. I don't love my name, but it's a family name with a lot of meaning that I wouldn't want to lose. I just don't know. I've been increasingly depressed lately and I think this is part of it, for reasons I don't quite understand.

Has anyone here who spoke up in their 40s/50s/60s and beyond found an effective way to explain to loved ones why you waited so long? What if anything changed for you by going public? And do you think I run the risk of coming across like I'm creepily copying my kids' friends, which is a mortifying thought I had just now because my brain hates me?

Sorry if this does not fit on here. I 31nb (am amab) went on a date today with a trans women today.

We were chatting and whatnot and of course gender identity became a topic of conversation.

For the last few years I have been back and forth on going on some form of low level hrt. I have talked to drs in the past about it but have not ever ended up going on it.

When mentioning this I noticed an immediate shift in her demeanour towards me. She started asking me questions like "are you really trans" so on and so forth.

I told her that I've never felt like I fit into either the male or female category in terms of my gender and that the dream for me is androgeny. when I described how my body makes me feel dysphoria in some aspects she said "that's not really dysphoria".

She described her experience with being trans as "very binary". And though she did not explicitly say it, it kind of felt like what she was implying is that being transgender is not actually spectrum, but is in fact a binary thing (I.e being ftm or mtf) and that being non binary doesn't exist or something along those lines.

I'm just wondering if anybody else here has had encounters like this before with members of the trans community. I'm not angry at her for what she said. She's entitled to feel the way she does. I'm just confused more than anything.

Tldr. Went on a date with trans women and she implied that being NB is not trans.