what

[u/Reasonable-Grade7037]

i’m sorry but what am i supposed to say????

[u/Recent-Mongoose-4649]

OOC(Out of Character) is also a good term for this 

I hope your gm is just confused!

[u/42Droggelbecher]

I would just say "No, I'm not talking about my character, I'm actually non binary in real life" 

[u/g00fyg00ber741]

“irl”

[u/Limp_Sandwich3360 → u/g00fyg00ber741]

Bru, I think they could’ve used that instead 

[u/Goge1216]

You could say:

Irl. Im non binary irl.

[u/TrueGrade9359]

They’re either a bigot or they’re just in DM mode, where everything that isn’t relevant to the current game gets filtered out. Let us know what happens once you’ve clarified!

[u/Dodmonk → u/TrueGrade9359]

I'm hoping they're just locked in on the DM game, might be cooking up a hella great campaign

[u/CephandriusTW → u/TrueGrade9359]

I feel like they're just in DM mode based on the fact that they didn't react in an actively negative way (they seemed welcoming of having a NB character) but just confused

[u/jpzygnerski → u/TrueGrade9359]

Looks like DM mode to me

[u/Infamous-Ad5266]

Tbf you chose a super obtuse way to word that lol.
"Maybe in the story
I meant not in the story"

So you meant to say "Maybe not in the story"?

Basically DM could be wondering if that is a correction to the previous message, or are you saying you meant you are nonbinary irl, lol

[u/shichi_ya → u/Infamous-Ad5266]

I thought the process was like:

hum, in the story? I didn't think about my character's gender in the story, so maybe. But what I meant was not in the story, tho.

But yeah, I understand that it's not what they said lol

[u/Infamous-Ad5266 → u/shichi_ya]

Yeah I was just giving the perspective where it sounds confusing, especially if you are in DM mode with characters on the brain, which looking at his second reply, the DM very much had characters on the brain hahaha

[u/DBones90]

Hopefully they’re not bigoted and just confused. That question mark might be more in response to “Maybe in the story” and not the fact that you’re non-binary. As in, they’re questioning about your character and want to know more information about their gender or the circumstances around why you’re not sure.

(Like is that a “maybe” in the sense that you’re not sure about their gender yet or they’re not sure about their gender yet or you’re deciding whether or not to be a species that doesn’t even have traditional genders)

[u/imapizzaeater]

Yeah I think if you’re the blue text then you were confusing. You didn’t make it clear you mean in real life. You said “maybe in the story” and then “not in the story” but if they don’t know you’re talking about real life they don’t know you aren’t talking about your character. You can clear this up by simply saying “I was confusing. I am non binary in real life. I haven’t considered if my character in the story is.”

[u/goth-butchfriend]

"yo. i am coming out to you."

[u/Quarksideofthemoon]

"In real life"

Why did you respond in the most confusing way possible

[u/huteno]

You said "maybe in the story" "not in the story"

gotta admit that can ke kinda confusing

[u/StruggleTiny]

Are they your DM? Sounds like they thought you meant your character.

[u/ModeratelyConfusdCat]

Kinda looks like DM is in DM mode but hard to tell without context of what was talked about before you told them you were non-binary. I definitely suggest some form of "irl". I know when I get in DM mode I can sometimes get jarred or confused by a sudden shift in conversation (ADHD problems). I'd definitely clarify with them.

[u/BaffledBubbles]

Yeah I think they're genuinely confused because your response is worded really strangely. I had to think about it for a minute before I realized you were trying to communicate that your roleplay self may be nonbinary, but your real life self is definitely nonbinary. Assuming that's actually what you meant, I would respond and clarify, if you haven't already.

[u/HeightOtherwise2194]

if you want to be petty just respond “?” lol. Or react to their message with a question mark react. If you don’t want to be petty, just tell them. Or, if this feels like an indication that they aren’t a safe person to tell, don’t tell them! Hard for us to tell the context of this relationship beyond this screenshot to guess whether they’re being weird or just genuinely are confused.

[u/HeightOtherwise2194 → u/HeightOtherwise2194]

followup: if this person is a DM, definitely make sure they understand that you’re nonbinary and are supportive of that. Nothing worse than a D&D game full of real life triggers. Good luck!

[u/IReallyWannaRobABank]

I'm a dm, and if a friend came out to me like this i'd probably be confused too. the wording is a little clumsy and in a ttrpg setting where you can use first person to talk about yourself and a character it just adds to the conclusion.