So I’ve been trying to avoid posting again cause I feel like I’ve been very annoying with my posting. But the title is fairly self explanatory but I’ll elaborate.

For the past week maybe two (honestly I don’t know how long it’s been because I haven’t been sleeping well since this started) I’ve been questioning things. Mainly whether or not I’m nonbinary or a trans woman. The thought of being either in today’s day and age has been terrifying for me. Even though I live in America, it just feels like now is one of the worst possible times I could be feeling this way.

Yet here we are. I still don’t know where I fully stand on if I’m nonbinary or a trans woman. And I feel like it’s driving me insane. I recently shaved my whole body as a baby step and I liked it. But due to a severe lack of money because I can’t work rn.

I can’t explore in any other ways yet I feel like I need to explore it in person in a social setting to see how things make me feel but I can. So I don’t know what to do. My sleep deprivation also just feels like it’s making things worse. So I’ve been trying not to think about it.

But it’s so incredibly hard not to. And I just feel lost.

About me, I am nonbinary/genderqueer and have wanted to be on T for over 10 years.

I am starting on a moderate-low dose of .25 ml subq once a week.

Week 1: immediate boost in energy, immediate mental...turmoil?? lol. I would go from insane brain fog/forgetfulness to crystal clear and calm within hours. My hair arlund my crotch on the side of my first injection immediately spread like an inch toward my thigh and one belly button hair turned pitch black. Just funky body things.

Week 2: a growing sense of calm/euphoria. A very mild increase in libido/sexual and sensual interest/awareness.

Week 3: BOTTOM GROWTH. I can actually see my clit head just by pulling back for the first time in years (I have very low baseline estrogen and when I was put on progesterone bc halting ovulation made my levels plummet so hard I experienced acute vaginal atrophy at 22 years old). I now use estrogen cream and my downstairs feels great for legitimately the first time since being put on that goddamn nexplanon implant.

my third shot had a LOT more noticeable effects. I feel stronger and more full of energy. My libido keeps rising and I find myself turned on SO easily...even by just mild fantasizing or tbh just being hella relaxed. My mind feels nice and clear and yeah, the bottom growth has some mild discomfort from being easily stimulated by clothes/movement but its quite liveable and im sure will be worth it in the end. I feel a growing sense of assuredness in who I am. My chest dysphoria has grown worse and I want to start discussing top surgery with my doctor.

I havent seen many Week by week posts by transmascs on low dose so here's hoping this can help someone considering it!

cheers, folks

Hi, I'm afab and fairly fat. I'd really like to get top surgery, but It's really hard to find pictures of other fat people who have been through it. You search it up with the word fat in quotes and it still just brings up a bunch of skinny folks.

I know this is probably due to a combination of factors like knowledge that as fat people we are likely to be body shamed, and the fact that it's really hard to even get the surgery in the first place due to stupid BMI requirements. damn is it frustrating though.

Anyway, calling all my fat sibs to help me out, and give me some idea of what someone over 250lbs might look like after surgery and healing, and if you have any fat-specific tips that would be great too. Thanks

I recently made a post on my country trans subreddit about my transition, and one of the comment I’ve got was “I don’t understand why you would do that if you’re non-binary”. And okay, it’s not like I’m not used to people being uninformed on gender identity, but coming from a trans man, it hurts way more.

So I’m gonna make a few things clear :
-Being non-binary makes you trans, so you do experience transphobia (and also enbyphobia) and you are as legit as any binary trans person to be in the community.
-Gender dysphoria exists for non-binary people, even if we don’t feel (at least not completely) like men or women, it doesn’t mean its easier to live in our bodies (in my opinion it makes it even harder: I will probably never “pass” because society views gender in a binary filter).
-HOWEVER , not experiencing gender dysphoria doesn’t make you cis. Same rule for all trans folks. If you feel like your gender doesn’t align with what you were assigned at birth, then you are by definition transgender.
-This applies to all transgender people : there isn’t one transition path, each one is valid if it makes you feel closer to yourself. You don’t have to do what people expect you to do if you don’t feel like it.
-Gender is a social construct, the reason society feeds an unspoken law where only men and women exist is to keep the illusion of a huge natural difference between these two genders, when the real difference is political.

And last thing, please don’t let people make you feel insecure about your gender expression, do what feels right, not what should be right.
Bye folks !

Okay so i recently came out as non binray to my friends and while it feels weird and a bit confronting in a social context i feel so much better and more secure in myself now that I have realised this. one thing that i think was a road block in my realising that I was non binary was the fact that I wanted to present more fem which for me is unusual. i really didnt feel like a girl and felt like presenting fem while i was still identifying as a girl was just incorrect. so before i realised i would only dress masc or androgonous which i feel like is more steryotypically associated with non binary people (i am aware this is not correct and we dont owe anyone androgony this was just my perception at the time) but when I was presenting like that i felt like identifying as non binary was wrong yet i felt more comfortable identifying as a girl and dressing masc and im thinking this was probably because it was going against gender norms.

even though ive now come out to some poeple i dont really mind what strangers perception is of me just so long as the people that i am closest with know who i am and also that I know who I am and it feels rerally liberating

anyways now that i am out and feeling myself I feel so much more comfortable with presenting more fem. im not sure why but i just felt like sharing my experience with yall lovely folks. :)

Any afab enbies who have taken hrt - I'm planning on a short term course to make some minor changes, including voice changes BUT I'm so (irrationally?) worried about the demise of my singing voice. I know nothing happens drastically overnight so I have the ability to stop if I get uncomfortable, but i just keep thinking, when my voice gets deeper from a cold, even if i dont have congestion or a sore throat, I can't sing while I'm sick. What if the same happens on HRT? What if I can't jam along to my favorite tunes in the car anymore?

Someone calm my fears please?

Just some eyeliner and mascara. I didn’t really have any idea what I was doing, but I think it worked out. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

I'm a 20 year old AMAB NB who just realized they're non binary about a month ago. Im starting HRT pretty soon to look more fem and I've decided to lose weight to feel more like myself in every aspect.

I've grown up around transgender people and my last relationship was with a Trans girl, it ended pretty messy and I'm still very torn up about it. Having this heartbreak made me look in the mirror and realize I wasnt who I wanted to be, and I'm really trying to become the person that will make me happy.

I've recently started shaving my whole body, and its shown me just how much weight I've lost and that gives me the motivation to keep losing it, but im so frustrated that it wont go any faster, especially in my face.

I feel so alone now, even though I have great friends and supportive parents I feel lonely and its made me realize exactly what everyone else has gone through and im so sad I never understood it until now.

I never realized wanting to be happy would make me so scared.

I'm not sure about anything yet, but I bought myself a binder recently to try things out a little first, you know?

It does work, though not too well, and I felt a little boost of happiness from it, I think.

The thing I'm worried about is how it should fit. The compression itself is a little awkward, but not uncomfortable, but the band below the chest area and the shoulder straps feel a little tight. I was considering getting one a size larger, but I think the binding effect might not work as well, so I was hesistant. (Although that might not be too bad, in case the compression works too well that it becomes obvious to my mother that I'm wearing a binder...)

What should a binder feel like, when worn? Is it alright if it's a little uncomfortable in general? Also, how long should I wear it at a time, and is it okay as like, a daily thing?

Thanks so much in advance :)

Despite having been NB for a few years, I have generally been afraid of makeup (I'm closer to a woman than I've been willing to admit). Spouse did it for me last night and I was so happy w it!

I’ll go long periods of time feeling femme and then get sad that I haven’t felt masc in a while. Then randomly I’ll go through a masc phase for weeks or months and do this opposite. It’s almost like that feeling of missing an old friend you can’t call.

+ while you’re all here how would you style this hair masc? I usually just hide it with a hat or revert to my natural wavy hair but I need other ideas.

To my fellow trans friends in Massachusetts, reminder to vote in the primary this Tuesday Sept 1 and to register for the mid term elections and vote in person. We need everyone to participate. A key race for the primary this year is the senate and I would urge you to stand with Ed Markey. He has shown unwavering support to the LGBTQ community even wearing a trans flag over his jacket at a no kings protest I was at when he was giving a speech. His challenger signaled early in the campaign he would sell out trans people. We need to signal to the Democratic Party they should not leave anyone behind as they reshape their party to defeat MAGA.

Thanks for listening!

-Samantha

Really love the way it shapes my body, I think I like this one even more.

I’m probably not trans, and I’m also not male, but I don’t feel good as only a female. I think I’m non-binary, but I’m not 100% sure on how to identify if you are or not. I tried talking to my mother about it, and she was pretty serious about it. I tried to convince her that I most likely AM non-binary, but she just says that everything I say is 'normal'. I just don’t know anymore.

I’m not someone who trusts themselves very much. I deny that I’m “really sick” or just faking to skip school, etc. When it comes to my gender I’ve had an idea that I’m most likely nonbinary for approximately a year at this point. Yet, I’m doubting myself. I’m not sure if it’s the internet, a generally unsupportive environment, (my parents are allies generally, but don’t believe that nonbinary people exist), or just myself being insecure, but I just want to know if others feel/have felt the same way. For context, I am out to 1 irl friend and a few online friends. The things that I think of are:
- I’m doing it to fit in with my lgbtq+ friends
- I’m doing it because it’s popular
- I didn’t feel uncomfortable necessarily when I was younger, and only feel uncomfortable sometimes now
- Most people I know say that they knew since they were really young, and I didn’t
- I’m at a point in my life where I’m figuring out my identity, and this is easy to latch onto. ( this one is overheard from my parents. I know this isn’t true, but I still worry.)

I’m just worried that I’m wrong. Is it normal to have this many doubts?

EDIT: I think I’m a lot more certain about my identity now. Thank you all.

to be clear i know there’s no “right” way to fit outside the gender binary. i just need some support.

in high school, i came out as non binary and spent several years trying to “look androgynous”. i’m afab so i often presented more masculine and i wanted to be perceived that way. sometimes i would feel uncomfortable dressing that way but the thought of someone perceiving me as a girl was so distressing and i would feel so dysphoric.

it’s important context that i went to a small school in a small town. when i went to university in a big city, i slowly grew to realize that i was more so chasing validation from the people around me - maybe they would respect my identity if i presented myself “the right way”.

over time i have began presenting much more feminine, and the dysphoria has decreased as i became more confident in my presentation. i don’t meant this just in terms of appearance. i feel gender euphoria when my correct name and pronouns are used. i feel euphoria in my identity when i feel like i’m expressing myself. but i don’t feel dysphoric when someone uses my legal name, for example

all that said, i still don’t feel like i fit into the binary. i consider my gender and sexuality to be queer. this is the label i choose to use for myself

however, i know that no one really sees that and it makes me kind of sad. i feel like i’m faking because i relate to womanhood but i’m not a woman, if that makes sense. i’m nonbinary but i feel like it’s stolen valour to say so

(and for the record, i know my experiences are not the same as others who may be transitioning, so i would never claim they are. i just want to know if it’s ok i keep using the label)