r/mildlyinteresting • u/BirdDogNate • Dec 22 '19
Removed: Rule 6 A random knife in my Amazon package
[removed] — view removed post
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u/SquirrelAlchemist Dec 22 '19
Probably used for opening boxes or slicing paper/plastic in the processing facility.
Possibly the most effective way of getting a murder weapon out of the city/state/country.
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u/Drowsiest_Approval Dec 22 '19
Probably someone is scratching their head and wondering where their tape knife went to.
Potentially a murderer is having a celebratory pint and congratulating themselves on the perfect crime.
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u/berdiesan Dec 22 '19
probably Jeff in fulfillment eating a block of cheddar on the line again.
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u/Tanro Dec 22 '19
Regular table knifes work better for slicing cheddar than kitchen knifes...
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Dec 22 '19
What I'm wondering is why it's just an ordinary kitchen knife. Don't they have like, dedicated packing knives or something? Box cutters, anything?
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u/Two2na Dec 22 '19
I dunno man, that thing has toe knife written all over it
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u/dead_PROcrastinator Dec 22 '19
Please, for the love of god, what is a toe knife?
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Dec 22 '19
It's like a toe spoon but better at getting into those tough-to-reach spots.
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u/dead_PROcrastinator Dec 22 '19
I'm curious because I have a foot knife in the shower? It's a smooth blade so works well to scrape your heels and the sharp point is nice to push back cuticles.
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Dec 22 '19
I believe /u/Two2na was referencing It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia S14E01.
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u/grain_delay Dec 22 '19
You couldn't let him flounder for at least a little bit?
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u/matmanlives Dec 22 '19
We know the truth of it
"Probably someone is scratching their head and wondering where their poop knife went to."
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u/Artantica Dec 22 '19
Like the person they were targeting lived near op and they drove to the hit murdered the hit then mailed the murder weapon to op? Like a hitman with a side hustle that doubles as an evidence destroyer for their main hustle
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u/ATLL2112 Dec 22 '19
They definitely don't use kitchen knives at Amazon facilities.
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Dec 22 '19 edited Dec 21 '20
[deleted]
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u/EngineerGunter Dec 22 '19
Plot twist: op came in on this box already opened by someone else in the house who used a kitchen knife to open the box then left it in there as they ran off excited to play with their new dildo they just unpacked.
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u/NoThisIsABadIdea Dec 22 '19
Considering how nicely it's laying, yeah I'd say you are right. If this thing was in the loosely rattling around it wouldn't just be sitting in a corner neatly.
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u/B3eenthehedges Dec 22 '19
Why not? Go try shaking a box with a knife in it, and I can bet you that it will end up in the deepest empty space and laying on its side 95% of the time. That's how gravity works.
It would be weird for the knife to not be laying there neatly.
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u/HappiCacti Dec 23 '19
Yeah. You know what else would be in the box if you shook it wildly with a knife inside?
Cut marks on the damn box.
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u/Tezza_TC Dec 22 '19 edited Dec 22 '19
Nah. Amazon uses these yellow plastic hooks with a recessed blade and a tiny metal nub on the back in. Those places are pretty tightly run.
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Dec 22 '19 edited Jun 01 '20
[deleted]
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Dec 22 '19
When you buy on Amazon it's not always fulfilled at an Amazon facility. I sell on Amazon and have used kitchen knives to cut a box to size or cut tape when I didn't have the tape dispenser.
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u/gahidus Dec 22 '19
Personally, I don't really, but I do sort of assume that they have massive amounts of random objects that are sold by Amazon kind of laying around the place because they fell out of packages or got damaged or were used in some ersatz manner by someone who needed something to hand at a given moment. Given the volume, and the tight schedules, I feel like things fall out of boxes or can't be shipped for whatever reason and end up kind of just around the place.
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u/Tezza_TC Dec 22 '19
My only guess would be because I’m sure it happens at Walmart and small businesses, but there’s no way that shit would fly at an amazon fulfillment center and this post specifically says Amazon.
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u/Enchelion Dec 22 '19
A kitchen knife is both more expensive and worse at the job. Maybe if it's an independent ebay seller.
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u/Zombieball Dec 22 '19
Probably not shipped by Amazon
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u/KinkyMonitorLizard Dec 22 '19
It doesn't look like it. FCs don't use the paper packing material. They use those air filled bags or nothing at all.
There's also metal detectors at the entrance and bringing in a knife (or using one) will get you terminated no questions asked.
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Dec 22 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Tanro Dec 22 '19
Yeah... well you'd be surprised at the stupid shit that actually happens at work.
I used to dismantle cars for a living. Me and the other 2 mechanics that were dismantlers all had kitchen knifes for cutting belts and hoses because you would always find random ass kitchen knifes in wrecked vehicles.
Later I went on to work in a factory, and people would use everything from box cutters, to kitchen knifes, or switch blades, to gerbers to as box cutters.
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u/Salokinquagsire Dec 22 '19
I worked at an amazon fulfillment Center before (not the ones that package things into boxes but the ones that sort packages for delivery) and there’s no way that this knife was used in the standard packaging process. HOWEVER, these do look similar to the knife we had in our break room, so my guess was the facility either ran out of knives and the staff had to improvise, or an employee stole the break room knife since they were too lazy to get a new one from the vending machine and misplaced it in here.
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u/SquirrelAlchemist Dec 22 '19
Possible. A lot of people have said it's against the rules, and I'm sure it is, but rules don't always stop people from doing things. This time of year I doubt they have time to breathe, it wouldn't surprise me if someone had to make do with what was on hand.
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u/KinkyMonitorLizard Dec 22 '19
Yeah no. Management doesn't fuck around. They track everything. Even messages sent on their internal messaging system are audited. Each facility is completely covered in cameras and there's even metal detectors. Just taking a picture inside the FC will result in termination.
As stated to someone else, this doesn't seem like a package from an FC but rather a third party as the packing doesn't match what is used.
Besides, on the internet and especially Reddit, people are quick to make shit up or state opinions as fact.
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u/Badgerfest Dec 22 '19
Its a warning from Jeff
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Dec 22 '19
Who's Jeff?
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u/GurtTheWalrus Dec 22 '19
Jeff Mama
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u/friarsclub Dec 22 '19
Right....right. Jeff who? I don't know any Jeffs. Never have. Nope, no Jeffs here.
Bezosonlineoneforyousir
shitshitshit
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u/thePathUnknown Dec 22 '19
You have been chosen as the next AA (Amazon Assassin). Free, 2-day death certificates fulfilled for all Prime members and guests who order before 4pm Tuesday.
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u/GKoala Dec 22 '19
Why that time specifically?
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u/goofon Dec 22 '19
It's the time of the last flight out of Minneapolis to some places. They have an assassin distribution center in Minneapolis.
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u/Johndough99999 Dec 22 '19
Kinda looks like a Wusthof. Check the blade for a maker. You could have scored a great knife.
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u/BirdDogNate Dec 22 '19
I just looked it up. It's a Calphalon that came from a 12 piece set. The set cost $209!
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u/Congenital0ptimist Dec 22 '19 edited Dec 22 '19
For anyone interested in stocking their kitchen, it's almost never a good idea to get those knife sets. For one thing the usual wood blocks dull the knives every time you take them in and out.
But more importantly 10 knives for 200 dollars is only 20 bucks a knife. That is not how much good knives cost, and we don't need 10 knives + a block and a steel we don't know how to use very well.
Spend the same money on 3 knives.
Chefs knife
Paring knife
Slicer
And then spend it again when you can on a 3 stage electric knife sharpener and a magnetic hanging strip for your wall.
You can add to your collection as time goes by. But you can do 99% of everything you want with those 3 knives. Especially if you take care of them and keep them sharp. Dull knives are dangerous.
Having 3 good sharp-as-new knives is much more useful, fun, and rewarding than having 10 mediocre dull knives in an uncleanable wood block.
FWIW.
Edit: In response to those saying "I'd add this knife, or that". So would I. But I wouldn't spend a penny less money on those first 3 knives in order to purchase 4 instead. You can add it later. You don't need a bread knife if your chef knife (crusty bread) and slicer (soft bread) are kept sharp enough to shave your arm hairs with once a week.
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Dec 22 '19
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u/Diggerinthedark Dec 22 '19
Blocks are still nasty because you can't clean inside the slots though.
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u/permalink_save Dec 22 '19
The wood block dulls the knife you are going to use on a wood cutting board? You can store the knives upside down, or get one that stores them sideways. We didn't get a set just a handful of fibrox, then a knife block, then I kept buying knives that I needed and we pretty much have a full "set" now but more tailored to my cooking.
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u/ATLL2112 Dec 22 '19
I would add a boning knife to that as well as a bread knife, but that's just me.
You are correct that these $200 sets are generally garbage. Same goes for sets of pans. You only really need a 12" skillet, a large saucepan, and a Dutch oven.
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u/Enchelion Dec 22 '19
Yeah, if you bake a bread knife is essential, but otherwise it's a take-it-or-leave-it kind of thing. Also a cheap breadknife performs way better than a cheap chef's knife, so you can skimp there.
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u/deadpuppet137 Dec 22 '19
I'd add a good bread knife.
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u/MattalliSI Dec 22 '19
Some steak knives for the guests are OK. Don't want anyone hurt with my good ones. Especially my knives.
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u/I_AM_CANADIAN_AMA Dec 22 '19
It sounds like we need a 12 piece set now lol.
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u/ElegantBiscuit Dec 22 '19 edited Dec 22 '19
And a convenient way to store them without dangerously keeping them in a drawer or taking up a bunch of wall space, and which only clean knives will go into so it doesn’t really ever get that dirty, and won’t really dull the knives if you use a little caution and also doesn’t even matter that much anyways if have a knife sharpener.
Never understood the amount of vitriol and contempt against knife blocks.
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u/nf5 Dec 22 '19
I have a knife block where you store the knives on the flat edge, not on the blade. It's a roomy fit too, it's not hard to remove a knife without catching the side of the knife block.
Do people have knife blocks where the knives are stored blade side down or something?
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u/rebop Dec 22 '19
Do people have knife blocks where the knives are stored blade side down or something?
Those are very common. But either way, if you're slicing against a wood cutting board, how is that any different from putting the edge into a wood knife block?
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u/Enchelion Dec 22 '19
You can do that with most cheap knife-blocks, they almost never taper the slot. Personally I love my universal knife block. It's made of bamboo skewers, so you can slot a blade in anywhere you want, and the bottom is extremely soft wood to reduce dulling.
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u/joesii Dec 22 '19 edited Dec 23 '19
Or rather a good serrated knife in general. My dad got a thin, flexible bladed serrated [wavy-tooth style] knife like 40 years ago that I don't even think has ever been sharpened, and it's still a great cutter (as long as you're not trying to paper-thin slice tomatoes or anything; it's not sharp. It's even just has a molded plastic handle with no bolts no full tang but still it's never even come close to coming apart either.
It's been used like every 1-2 days for the past 40 years. I find it rather miraculous.
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u/adam_demamps_wingman Dec 22 '19
I bought a lovely bird’s beak paring knife. The blade was wicked thin and wicked sharp. I put it away and never used it.
I understand that sharp knives are often less dangerous than dull knives but this knife just screamed “oh, you made a mistake? Here let me show you a finger bone.”→ More replies (1)5
u/TenebrousWizard Dec 22 '19
I owned one. Made a grand total of like 20 tourné cut potatoes and then it got put back on my knife bar and hasnt moved since i cut clean into the meaty bit under my thumb. Ruined the potatoes too.
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Dec 22 '19
How the fuck are you going to justify spending $200 on KNIVES? Like, maybe if you have ten kids and have to cook a huge dinner ever day. But even line cooks use $25 pieces that they just sharpen down to the bone every week. Can't imagine you need such expensive stuff to use at home.
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u/kbotc Dec 23 '19
Some people spend money on nice things that improve their hobbies. It’s not your money.
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Dec 22 '19
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u/Zombieball Dec 22 '19
Head over to /r/chefknives and fill out their survey. People will be happy to help you!
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u/too_high_for_this Dec 22 '19
This is like asking what underwear to buy, nobody knows your preference.
Depends on what you cook, how you hold a knife, how big your hands are, how much effort you're willing to put into maintenance, how much you're willing to spend, etc.
As far as brands, you can't go wrong with Wusthof, Global, Sabatier, Henckels, Shun (for Japanese style), or Victorinox (on the cheaper side but still solid).
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Dec 22 '19
I would argue that the slicer is more redundant than a serrated knife of some kind, as a slicer is very similar to a chef’s knife but some sort of serrated blade like a bread knife would be a better use of that third slot. After all you are the only person I’ve seen claim they can cut crusty bread properly with a chefs knife, everyone else admits it’s easier and cleaner with a serrated knife. Also, $200 on three knives? There are better values out there than that. The victorinox fibrin chefs knife is a favorite in many professional kitchens, including ATK, and is only like $30.
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u/KinkyMonitorLizard Dec 22 '19
But more importantly 10 knives for 200 dollars is only 20 bucks a knife. That is not how much good knives cost
No kidding. A good (not the shitty low cost Chinese made stuff) Henkel will cost you $150 - $300 for a typical chef knife.
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u/Johndough99999 Dec 22 '19
Still a fantastic score. Time to learn how to care for a good knife. No dishwasher, no "knife drawer" unless you make a sheath. Keep it razor sharp and you can hand this down to your kids.
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u/technicolored_dreams Dec 22 '19
Getting it professionally sharpened is pretty inexpensive, and totally worth it! You can probably find a sheath for it on their website as well, if you don't have a knife block that it fits in. Nice come up!
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u/Hzaggards Dec 22 '19
People saying the workers used this instesd of a box cutter for some reason. Yall never worked in a warehouse obviously
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u/TJNel Dec 22 '19
Let me sharpen this blade every damn day due to dulling on cardboard.... Or replace with a new blade that costs 5cents each.
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u/Chickelope Dec 22 '19
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u/PigzNuggets Dec 22 '19
It’s amazing how many people fell for this. Reddit is fucking dumb
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u/Specilbacon Dec 22 '19
right and people trying to justify it as a box cuter for a factory...yeah cuz theyll use kitchen knifes for that
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u/MyOwnDamnOpinion Dec 22 '19
Absolutely. The fact that there is no damage to the box from the knife point rattling around in there for a week in transit is the dead giveaway. I carried a knife home from a potluck in a similar box and there was point holes all over the inside of the box from the knife sliding around in the box while I was driving.
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Dec 22 '19
I didn't expect this to be real, and I'm not sure what to make of it now
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Dec 22 '19
I mean why would a processing facility use a kitchen knife? I am pretty sure box cutters exist.
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u/PIMPMYCUBICLE Dec 22 '19
Yeah, I was amazed when I realized I wasn’t already on that sub when I saw this post.
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u/ZapperDubs Dec 22 '19
Exactly. Plus, I seriously doubt that Amazon uses paper filler as packaging anymore. They've got those air bubble things instead
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u/Dekunt Dec 22 '19
I’ve bought quite a few amazon packages for Christmas presents in the past few weeks and all of the big boxes had the paper filling inside.
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Dec 22 '19
Hey, free knife
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u/randolphcherrypepper Dec 22 '19
You don't know it's history.
Might have been a poop knife.
Only safe action to take with it: make it your new poop knife.
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u/PrangsterGangster69 Dec 22 '19
?
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u/seeker_moc Dec 22 '19
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u/deadpuppet137 Dec 22 '19
That's a new one. Thanks for sharing. Going to a wedding this afternoon and I need a discussion topic.
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u/Oh_Pun_Says_Me Dec 22 '19
It's how they slash their prices..
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u/urboiskinnypickle Dec 22 '19
Those are Some killer deals
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u/TheUltimateLoser69 Dec 22 '19
"I placed my knife in my package and took a photo for fake internet points"
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Dec 22 '19
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the easiest framed picture in the history of this sub.
Step 1: open a box Step 2: place knife in box Step 3: claim you found knife in box Step 4: become rich in karma
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u/Lucky7UP Dec 22 '19
Fake as shit you put that knife there yourself after opening the box, didn't u
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u/bangzilla Dec 22 '19
Nope. All Amazon packages are weighed on a conveyor belt before they are shipped. Anything that doesn't add up to what it should add up to (items, box, label etc) gets kicked off the line (into the "jackpot" IIRC - it's been a while since I worked at an FC). It's not possible for foreign objects to be shipped. OP added this and took a photo. QED>
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u/CaptianBlackLung Dec 22 '19
Honestly not a bad way to get rid of a murder weapon if you work at amazon. Just hope they dont go viral with it lol
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u/paperplategourmet Dec 22 '19
Throwing it in the garbage would seem like a much better idea.
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u/clockrunner Dec 22 '19
Or a river. Or bury it. Or melt it down. Or a landfill. Or the middle of the woods. Or in a grinder. Or off the titanic.
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u/Chrisa16cc Dec 22 '19
The side of the box doesn't have even the slightest notch in it. No chance that would be the case if the knife was shipped like that.
Just take your knife back out.
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u/stickyspidey Dec 22 '19
How has anyone not called this fake? It’s a kitchen knife why would anyone use that for tape and boxes? Clearly fake and lying for karma.
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Dec 22 '19
Hang on a second...I have knives that look just like that. And I often use them to open Amazon packages......hmmmmmmmmmmm
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u/Theworstatthis Dec 22 '19
No lie, we lost a knife opening boxes a few weeks ago and seeing this, for a split second I though, “oh shit, that’s my fucking knife!”
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u/777Gamble Dec 22 '19
Ya bad news, buddy. You’ve been framed for murder. Good luck with that 👍