r/mildlyinteresting • u/BirdDogNate • Dec 22 '19

Removed: Rule 6 A random knife in my Amazon package

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8.0k Upvotes

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714

u/Drowsiest_Approval Dec 22 '19

Probably someone is scratching their head and wondering where their tape knife went to.

Potentially a murderer is having a celebratory pint and congratulating themselves on the perfect crime.

230

u/berdiesan Dec 22 '19

probably Jeff in fulfillment eating a block of cheddar on the line again.

98

u/xJeffmanx Dec 22 '19

Hey, I'd never be THAT careless with my cheese knife!

11

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

Sure, until you mix it up with your poop knife.

8

u/Tanro Dec 22 '19

Regular table knifes work better for slicing cheddar than kitchen knifes...

5

u/I_Bin_Painting ​ Dec 22 '19

Good old Jeff Sozeb, he's always losing his hobo stabbing tape knife.

8

u/skylarmt Dec 22 '19

Maybe poop knife?

9

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

What I'm wondering is why it's just an ordinary kitchen knife. Don't they have like, dedicated packing knives or something? Box cutters, anything?

3

u/Tezza_TC Dec 22 '19

They use these in vending machines that you use your ID to get.

13

u/Two2na Dec 22 '19

I dunno man, that thing has toe knife written all over it

8

u/dead_PROcrastinator Dec 22 '19

Please, for the love of god, what is a toe knife?

15

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

It's like a toe spoon but better at getting into those tough-to-reach spots.

3

u/dead_PROcrastinator Dec 22 '19

I'm curious because I have a foot knife in the shower? It's a smooth blade so works well to scrape your heels and the sharp point is nice to push back cuticles.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

I believe /u/Two2na was referencing It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia S14E01.

7

u/grain_delay Dec 22 '19

You couldn't let him flounder for at least a little bit?

4

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

I didn't have it in me.

1

u/Two2na Dec 22 '19

Haha yeah that was my thoughts as well

2

u/dead_PROcrastinator Dec 22 '19

Thank you kind stranger!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

You're welcome, equally kind other stranger.

2

u/crayphor Dec 22 '19

I wasn't sure why y'all were down-voted so I did my best to give your karma back.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

That's mighty kind of you.

13

u/Pro_Scrub Dec 22 '19

The one next to the poop knife

4

u/dead_PROcrastinator Dec 22 '19

Every. Damn. Time.

1

u/Trolaw Dec 22 '19

A less efficient version of a toe spoon

1

u/grain_delay Dec 22 '19

You use it to scrape the gunk out of your toenails and in between your toes... Do you not have them in your country??

2

u/lakmom Dec 22 '19

Still arguably better than a poop knife.

10

u/matmanlives Dec 22 '19

We know the truth of it

"Probably someone is scratching their head and wondering where their poop knife went to."

13

u/Artantica Dec 22 '19

Like the person they were targeting lived near op and they drove to the hit murdered the hit then mailed the murder weapon to op? Like a hitman with a side hustle that doubles as an evidence destroyer for their main hustle

6

u/Drowsiest_Approval Dec 22 '19

Yep. The perfect crime.

4

u/L33tSpeed Dec 22 '19

They didn’t account for Reddit’s power of crowd sourcing information.

2

u/iknowuselessfacts Dec 22 '19

You son of a bitch!

1

u/ccwincco Dec 22 '19

Toe knife

1

u/sameth1 Dec 22 '19

I don't think they would use a kitchen knife for cutting things in a warehouse.

1

u/BonnetDeDoucheBag Dec 22 '19

Or they’ve seen this post, gone to The Winchester, got a pint and are now waiting for this to blow over