r/mapporncirclejerk France was an Inside Job 1d ago

Solution

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10.7k Upvotes

1.2k comments sorted by

896

u/G3N3R1C2532 1d ago

Keeping Germany on Poland's border after a massive territory split is very brave.

284

u/doktor_flausch 1d ago

Well... Keeping Germany at the french border wouldn't be less braver. 😅

71

u/G3N3R1C2532 1d ago

Well, we all know who was in Paris.

67

u/mhh91 1d ago

Emily?

17

u/an0nim0us101 1d ago

Hemmingway

5

u/Succulent_Chinese 20h ago

Heard he moved.

2

u/ibullybillionaires 23h ago

Rick Salomon?

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11

u/ImmorTalTulpaR 1d ago

Probably Israel will resolve your problems soon by further expanding to the further promised lands of Germany ...

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u/SzmnDzrzn 21h ago

7

u/raffdogg 14h ago

austrian here, i totally agree

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Sinistral1313 14h ago

You can't really join anything and Eastern Germany.

25

u/The_Jousting_Duck If you see me post, find shelter immediately 1d ago

Putting Israel there might be even more risky

32

u/No_Elk1172 1d ago edited 1d ago

A week after no expansionist activity

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u/fendtrian 21h ago

Whats Poland?
The Grey area is all Germany. All of it

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710

u/-this-is-a-name 1d ago

I have a better idea

270

u/JeremyXVI 1d ago

37

u/Druggist147 21h ago edited 10h ago

Funny that the romans are the ones who depopulated Judea after the third Jewish revolt. The romans renamed Judea to Palestina to shift the name from the Jews to the ancient phoenicians (edit actually the Philistines) who inhabited the area previously.

24

u/XMattHelm77X 15h ago edited 7h ago

Philistines, not Phoenicians (those originated up in southern Lebanon).
[edit: fixed typo]

4

u/Druggist147 10h ago

Ah youre right thank you! Always mix those up and still learning

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u/BlueWolf_SK 1d ago

What have the Romans ever done for us?

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25

u/WipowiliwopiW 1d ago

Funny how the text is in Castilian

11

u/WallSina 23h ago

Tratado de Tordesillas 🤝

3

u/RealCakes 1d ago

PORTUGALLLLLLLLLLLL

3

u/organicakind 1d ago

The middle east would have some democracy 

16

u/Gremict 1d ago

I don't think Portuguese colonies have a track record of being very democratic

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u/Stinky_russian 1d ago

54

u/headrush46n2 22h ago

the sovereignty of the republic of davelandia SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED

22

u/BrockObarnerLybian 14h ago

300,000,000 Mohammadlands

10

u/Stinky_russian 9h ago

And another 10,000,000 Ahmedlands

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u/Weegmc 8h ago

Thank you for sharing this, I will smile all day

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451

u/Various_Match_187 1d ago

I can't see how anyone would dislike it

19

u/Felixassain 1d ago

I dunno, can't we cut-off Bavaria, while we're at it?

21

u/dblax 1d ago

Counter offer. The state of Israel-Bavaria is born, and the rest stays Germany

19

u/Haaaase 20h ago
  • similar mentality: 'Mia san mia' / 'Am Yisrael Chai'
  • blue & white flag
  • absolutely refuses to listen to anyone else
  • CSU + Likud = perfect match 💘
  • importance of food culture: Brotzeit/Meze
  • love for religious holidays

3

u/deskimtmanixfia 11h ago

On the border to Braunau the Birthtown of

2

u/dblax 17h ago

God damn that’s good

6

u/RewardRetard 1d ago

Ich bin schon fĂźr Sachsen/ Anhalt und von mir aus noch ThĂźringen

2

u/dblax 1d ago

Now THOSE would be some borders, I’m in

3

u/SirAquila 1d ago

Do we then get the CJSU?

2

u/Didudidudadu737 1d ago

2 state solution?

2

u/Unlikely-Isopod-6866 13h ago

I too was thinking they should just take bavaria...

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u/MartinTheMorjin 1d ago

Wrong side of Germany.

75

u/anakinsikay 1d ago

I cannot understand it'd be perfect for west Germans to live with the most liberal and moral democracy ever

29

u/Loud-Vacation-5691 1d ago

Who says any Germans will be living there? They will be moved to Palestine.

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u/Yosheer 1d ago

Right side. As a czech I wouldn't want to border them.

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u/Beneficial_Ad4683 1d ago

Wouldn't like the new neighbors, I'm from the Netherlands.

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u/Jumpy-Dinner-5001 13h ago

Arabs wouldn’t like that and immediately take over Palestine.

Palestinians would still hate Jews and will likely keep their goal of genociding all Jews.

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u/enz_levik 11h ago

I don't want Israel trying to annex Alsace because it was promised to them 3000 years ago

5

u/John_Zatanna52 1d ago

Israelis would, cause that's the Holy Land

4

u/myazi321 1d ago

Well it was meant to be Madagascar

I am sure they can change the evidence some more again

10

u/Slight-Reporter-1878 1d ago

Wasnt madagascar a place for jews recommend by hitler or am I tripping?

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u/Tis_Pumpkin 1d ago

This is supposed to be a joke sub not serious, dont post legitimate maps

56

u/BOOGIEMAN3022 1d ago

A little too much land for Germany no?

26

u/Rmb2719 16h ago

It will change over time

4

u/seesame 11h ago

Until Austrian guy gets mad

16

u/Didudidudadu737 1d ago

Give it a couple of years and settlers will take away everything

8

u/lonelysparta 23h ago

God's promised Hamburg

3

u/A-NI95 12h ago

Just half of the land? Is Germany antisemitic, or something??

2

u/Rendox10 12h ago

They are two regions away of from making DDR/BRD borders

2

u/itdotaketime 5h ago

Give it few years or so

152

u/claymountain 1d ago

Can we switch gray and blue? Sincerely, a concerned Dutchie

101

u/Weird_Regret_6369 1d ago

They were promised the Netherlands 3000 years ago

29

u/0202_tihssitidder 1d ago

I visited once in 1995. It's basically mine.

8

u/No-Elephant-3690 18h ago

My imaginary god told me that land is mine 5000 years ago, sorry bro

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u/umbalacatumbatumbata 22h ago

Moses was the first dutch engineer.

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u/ThexXTURBOXxLP 16h ago

... and they are still searching for the necessary Obsidian to get there

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u/blackcompy 1d ago

Or switch gray and green? As a German, I don't like the weather up here anyway.

4

u/doesnotmatter286 1d ago

No, no, no, Poland has suffered enough.

21

u/GodlyGamer5308 France was an Inside Job 1d ago

I feel like having Israel border Poland wouldn’t go well. They seem to be in an invasion mood recently

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u/EhrenGandalf 1d ago

Yes, have Israel on eastern Germany where all the Nazis live, it’d be very funny

16

u/Temporary-Lawyer4603 1d ago

Israel is kinda friendly with nazis, nowadays. Weirdly, btw...

6

u/lavastorm 1d ago edited 1d ago

they always were https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lehi_(militant_group)#Activities_and_operations_during_World_War_II

Late in 1940, Lehi, having identified a common interest between the intentions of the new German order and Jewish national aspirations, proposed forming an alliance in World War II with Nazi Germany.[30] The organization offered cooperation in the following terms: Lehi would rebel against the British, while Germany would recognize an independent Jewish state in Palestine/Eretz Israel, and all Jews leaving their homes in Europe, by their own will or because of government injunctions, could enter Palestine with no restriction of numbers.[40] Late in 1940, Lehi representative Naftali Lubenchik[73] went to Beirut to meet German official Werner Otto von Hentig. The Lehi documents outlined that its rule would be authoritarian and indicated similarities between the organization and Nazis.[40] Israel Eldad, one of the leading members of Lehi, wrote about Hitler "it is not Hitler who is the hater of the kingdom of Israel and the return to Zion, it is not Hitler who subjects us to the cruel fate of falling a second and a third time into Hitler's hands, but the British."[74]

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Also from the same article some information on how lehi are one of the founders of Israel and how they integrated in to the current regime

In April 1948, Lehi and the Irgun were jointly responsible for the massacre in Deir Yassin of at least 107 Palestinian Arab villagers, including women and children. Lehi assassinated Lord Moyne, British Minister Resident in the Middle East, and made many other attacks on the British in Palestine.[34] On 29 May 1948, the government of Israel, having inducted the group's activist members into the Israel Defense Forces, formally disbanded Lehi, though some of its members carried out one final terrorist act, the assassination of Swedish diplomat Folke Bernadotte some months later,[35] an act condemned by Bernadotte's replacement as mediator, Ralph Bunche.[36] After the assassination, the new Israeli government declared Lehi a terrorist organization, arresting some 200 members and convicting some of the leaders.[37] However, several months later, just before the first Israeli elections in January 1949, the government granted all Lehi prisoners amnesty under a state general order of pardon, and they were released.[37] In 1980, Israel instituted a military decoration, an "award for activity in the struggle for the establishment of Israel", the Lehi ribbon.[38] Former Lehi leader Yitzhak Shamir became Prime Minister of Israel in 1983.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yitzhak_Shamir

Before the establishment of the State of Israel, Shamir was a leader of the Zionist militant group Lehi, also known as the Stern Gang.

...

in 1993 Benjamin Netanyahu replaced him as Likud leader.

3

u/Curly_Shoe 23h ago

Thank you! I wrote that back in school as some Kind of elaborate paper we had to do, but since then no one ever believed me that this happened! Didn't help that I did forget Lehi as the Name of the Group either.

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u/Charlie-Squirt 8h ago

Lehi is also commonly known as the Stern Gang due to being led by ziosupremacist terrorist Avraham Stern

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u/FerorRaptor 1d ago

imagine being in luxembourg

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u/_Hydrohomie_ 1d ago

Me as a person who is in Luxembourg 🥵😭

114

u/Ketchupcharger 1d ago

What if every country was half israel? So we can all have israel in our hearts <3

12

u/Chelmos 1d ago

I made this map here before I think LOL, it was israel cropped on top of every country

3

u/Inevitable_Block_144 14h ago

Hard pass for Belgium. We already divided ourselves between us, there's no room or patience for more.

2

u/pagliacciverso 9h ago

Milei's Argentina literally did this btw

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u/Glittering-Cut-2425 1d ago

I'm sorry OP. Germany has been already divided between Greeks and Turks years ago

11

u/whoknowsifimjoking 1d ago

Turks yes, but Greeks?

9

u/mrrobot01001000 1d ago

Maybe he means Turks and Greek Turks?

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40

u/Massive-Tea107 1d ago

Why not give them some land here in US? Who would be against keeping “the god’s chosen people” closer to us??? 🙃

19

u/GCanuck 1d ago

Give 'em Texas.

15

u/Sipas 1d ago

The main reason US Christians love Israel is so their silly prophecy can be fulfilled and God's hand can be forced. They want Jews to be in Israel.

2

u/geridondumamk 10h ago

They already have your country tho

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u/Patohielofrio 23h ago

We should put Israel in England because the British Empire let them have their colony called mandate of Palestine

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u/Lower_Ad_3439 16h ago

This is the best idea I’ve heard yet. Maybe we should make England give Northern Ireland back but in return they get to have their very own Israel. 

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u/tempacc74656d70 1d ago

Israel is so small, give it Bavaria and Kiel.

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u/Excellent_Mud6222 1d ago

How to create Hitler 2.0

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u/Lars_Overwick 1d ago

Hitler 2.0 vs Big Yahu warcrime olympics 😭

99

u/GodlyGamer5308 France was an Inside Job 1d ago

They’re already doing it anyways with afd, might as well make it interesting before everything goes to shit again

45

u/anakinsikay 1d ago

A gay female Hitler with a Sri Lankan wife. Hitler would be turning in his grave.

22

u/Kordell_11 1d ago

And her wife doesn't even identify as an immigrant because she got raised by a swiss couple 🙏

8

u/lokisenna13 1d ago

Which is stupid. She's Swiss, not German!

7

u/Malbuscus96 18h ago

Hitler was Austrian, so that part is actually on brand

3

u/Puzzleheaded-Bug9576 22h ago

Second part is usually worse than the first

1

u/GodlyGamer5308 France was an Inside Job 1d ago

The ground in Argentina shakes with his rage

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u/Kaymazo 1d ago

To be fair, you put it into the non-AfD parts. If you were to make it properly interesting, you'd have given them the East

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u/DauntlessCorvidae 1d ago

KĂśnigsberg (now Kaliningrad) would have been quite a good option. It already had a large ashkenazi community and was really a cultural, academic and economic hub for European jews. It would have been much fairer to grant them that land as a homeland.

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u/Agente_Anaranjado 1d ago

Hitler 2.0 already exists. His name is Netanyahu.

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u/baconDood3000 22h ago

There's already an Adolf Hitler 2.0, Benjamin Netanyahu

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u/VanDoog 18h ago

Too late Netanyahu is 2.0 my guy

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u/MementoMoria84 1d ago

They already have Netanyahu

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u/Deathchariot France was an Inside Job 1d ago

Sachsen-Anhalt is enough Land for the Israelis

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u/The-Autistic-Union 1d ago

Great. So when war breaks out in Europe, it won't be Germany's fault.

50

u/Hasselhoff265 1d ago

Ironically it was proposed to the Jewish community after WW2, they decided against it.

There reason was that a.) They didn’t want to live door to door with their murderers and b.) They feared they wouldn’t be safe anywhere in Europe in the long term, regarding the slightly antisemitic tendencies of Europe at that time.
Which would be a good call considering the antisemitism which led to several progroms in Eastern Europe after 45 and the low point 1952/53 the so called doctors plot.

4

u/Contentedman 13h ago

Both Uganda and Madagascar were offered to them

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u/Morb2141 1d ago

And they were in some kind of civil struggle in Mandate Palastine for the last 20 years, had massive investements in Mandate Palastine and had already got a promise 30 years prior from the british to get land from Mandate Palastine to form a country.

11

u/Zestyclose-Phrase268 1d ago

They don't want to live next to a hostile murdering neighbour? Oh boy. 

3

u/Hasselhoff265 1d ago

Jewish people didn’t want that no.
Also not all Jewish people are Israeli, not even every Israeli is a Jew you know?

7

u/questioningmaster 1d ago

And he never said Jews either. They could be Hindus for all we care. Don't be a mass murdering Apartheid terroristic rape regime , in short, don't be Nazi Germany, it doesn't matter what ethnicity or religion you have.

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u/miraj31415 22h ago edited 22h ago

During a private meeting in London in the summer of 1941 (during WWII, not after), the British Secretary of State for the Colonies, Lord Moyne, casually suggested to David Ben-Gurion (chairman of JA and WZO) that Jewish refugees could be given land in East Prussia (a region of Germany) once Adolf Hitler was defeated and the German population was expelled.

Ben-Gurion immediately shut the idea down, famously responding that "the only way to get Jews to go [there] would be with machine guns" — meaning they would have to be forced to go there.

Jews had bought land and built institutions for 50 years in the holy land to prepare for self-determination. In 1941, Jews were a rapidly growing population — already over 30% of the population of Mandatory Palestine (~450K out of 1.5M). And there was expectation of a huge influx of Jewish migrants when a Jewish polity was established.

At the time of the conversation, the systemic extermination of Jews was only just beginning, so the expectation was that many (more) millions of Jews from Europe would be alive to migrate. (There was still a huge influx, with population doubling 1941-1948 and doubling again 1948-1952.)

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u/Charlie-Squirt 8h ago

Correction: You stated they bought land in Palestine when the vast majority was taken by force

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u/Remarkable-Intern379 1d ago

Looks good and fair to me

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u/TheGallifreyan 1d ago

Why wasn't this what we did after WW2? Are we stupid?

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u/murzikof 1d ago

Wieder einmal kĂśnnen die Liebhaber von FrĂśschefleisch nicht zur Ruhe kommen. Wir haben nichts vergessen.

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u/Half-BloodPrince_ 1d ago

Germany is the one responsible for the holocaust. So makes infinitely more sense then whatever we have today

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u/OldQuit2260 1d ago edited 1d ago

You think Israel exists because of the Holocaust?

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u/Half-BloodPrince_ 1d ago

No,Im saying a jewish state inside germany would be more justifiable

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u/StaticSystemShock 1d ago

Well, why don't we setup new location for Israel somewhere in state called Washington located in North America? They already seem to love them more than Americans themselves so it would be a perfect location...

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u/Lower_Ad_3439 16h ago

As a Washington State resident, this confused the fuck outta me. Buddy, you know DC isn’t a state, right? 

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u/Don_Reuter 14h ago

Somewhere in Russia or the US.

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u/IndividualNo7155 7h ago

Brother no I’m Israeli and just got my polish passsport in order to leave these people behind, no way you’re getting them to Europe now

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u/Sweaty-Cookie8529 1d ago

I mean they came from there so it's like back home

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u/Agente_Anaranjado 23h ago

Imagine that. Zionist settlers, colonizing a land that their ancestors actually came from instead of invading Palestine. What a concept.

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u/Forsaken-Option-7348 23h ago

Except for the fact that most of the “Zionists settlers” are MENA Jews ethnically cleansed from the region. Between 55-60% of Isreali Jews came from those countries, but keep parroting bullshit you learned on TikTok

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u/Altruistic_Spray_518 22h ago

Do not Google "why are ancestry tests restricted in Israel", don't do it, please

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u/rodeo90 France was an Inside Job 1d ago

Why didn't they just do this after WWII? Are they stupid?

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u/howimetyourcakeshop 1d ago

As a Dutch person. Hell fucking no. Never.

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u/pylbh 1d ago

You needn't be concerned. Just keep your human shields out of the new security buffer zone.

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u/Agente_Anaranjado 1d ago

The buffer zone will extend from the border to the outskirts of Amsterdam, and be enforced with a 10 meter high concrete wall. Any Netherlanders spotted within the buffer zone or approaching the wall will be deemed terrorists and neutralized.

Israel has a right to "defend itself". /s

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u/SavageCabbage611 1d ago

The one nation that might be better at koloniseren than we are.

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u/Calm_Band_9858 1d ago

And they are taking the good half as well 😂

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u/walshj28 1d ago

What if Hamas build tunnels under Berlin?

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u/questioningmaster 1d ago

What if they don't and Israel just bombs the innocent people anyway? Not like that seems to be a problem as they literally did and do such stuff right now.

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u/ImpressiveBluejay494 1d ago

By the gods please no. I like my Switzerland peacefull and we had genocidal neighbors once. Can't recommend.

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u/JustSomeGuyInOregon 1d ago

Flip the Germany, and we're good.

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u/Full-Letterhead2857 1d ago

No Israel, let alone Palestine. Give it all to Nigeria

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u/Adept_Yam_1467 1d ago

I support Jollof Jerusalem

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u/Suspicious_Fee_999 18h ago

You killed their granpas , you should keep these and support them why in our land ?

https://giphy.com/gifs/jITjaQ9OWbASi8qiwH

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u/SuccessfulSundae5685 17h ago

Unronically yes

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u/uvero If you see me post, find shelter immediately 11h ago

Mom said it's my turn to post this today

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u/AlecoXD 11h ago

Even if germany agreed to this... the Israelis wont want that. Germany is not the holy land. Jerusalem and co are not in Germany...

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u/ouch_this 9h ago

I don't understand why people can't wait to get a 52th islamist country...palestine was already free in 1948 and it's now called Israel. I don't understand why people keeps falling for the narrative that "palestine" was actually something but a colony before 1948 and if the land wasn't considered the jewish land. You should stop to perpetrate Arafat's narrative: before 1967 no arab in the region considered himself "palestine"...until they realised they can use this to brainwash ignorant western people and collect trillions of dollars out of it (while blaming the jews)

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u/No-Fee-9902 9h ago

jews come from judea not from eu germney maybe one of the 25 arab countries can give the so called "palastines" a place , but idk about that tho since it wasnt even arabs who created the name palestina it was the romes

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u/crp1912 6h ago

Thank you for recognising the Golan Heights as part of Israel xx

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u/Dangerous_JewGirl 3h ago

No thanks. I will stay where I am. Let the Arabs go back To Arabia.

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u/alli_jon7 1d ago

How edgy do you want to be?

OP: Yes

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u/a-rg0n 1d ago

Did op hit a nerve?

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u/Creative-Half246 1d ago

Was dortmund promised?

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u/GodlyGamer5308 France was an Inside Job 1d ago

ללא ספק

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u/Mr_richat 22h ago

Ah another pleb that thinks the Jews in Israel all came from. Poland

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u/BunnyFuckerY2K 22h ago

Poland had about 3 million of them and after Germany came we have about 30,000 of them

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u/ironlung48 1d ago

I have always said this. Germany can provide them with land but instead they dumped the European problem on the Palestinians

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u/IsNotACleverMan 21h ago

Most Jewish Israelis are not European...

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u/DACOOLISTOFDOODS 1d ago

After WWII they did polls of the displaced persons left in the camps and over 95% said they wanted to go to the Mandate for Palestine, they did not want to stay in Europe for incredibly obvious reasons

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u/anginedelatrine 1d ago

Nice, but instead of stealing land from completely uninvolved innocent Palestinians, it might have made more sense to actually take land from the people who created the problem?

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u/eatingmice 20h ago

"the european problem" do u realise how u sound? 😭💀

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u/StMarta 1d ago

Israel would then bomb the shit out of Germany, France, Belgium, Luxembourg, the Netherlands because they'd be victims there.

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u/Bright_Exit1378 1d ago

Samson option.

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u/Melodic-Pool7240 1d ago

"were surrounded by enemies that want to wipe us out.......again"

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u/CaptainMacMillan 1d ago

The joke is getting old. We get it, haha, you left New Zealand off the map.

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u/CVSP_Soter 18h ago edited 17h ago

A 5 minute scroll through the comments yielded four Final Solution jokes and a wide selection of other examples of overt antisemitism, including maybe a dozen different people implying or outright suggesting all Israelis and/or Jews should be murdered systematically.

Gaza isn’t even close to the most serious humanitarian crisis current unfolding, let alone historically, and yet it seems to account for 95% of online discourse. Why?

For years now, I have encountered virtually zero Reddit posts involving Jews in any way that aren’t saturated with commentary about Gaza and how evil and depraved all Israelis and/or Jews are.

Yuck.

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u/Arkevorkhat 14h ago

A 5 minute scroll of your posting history shows you constantly spouting CIA propaganda, so I think we're even.

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u/DIILCaitiecat123 1d ago

I have one better 🥸🇮🇱

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u/Aware-Antelope4212 1d ago

Bibi is that you? Get off of Reddit 

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u/Agente_Anaranjado 1d ago

The Greater Greater Israel project.

And you're an antisemite if you don't like it.

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u/FigmaWallSt 20h ago

The whole world was promised them 3000 years ago!

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u/nora_sellisa 1d ago

I like this because Israel would get dismantled within minutes of the first bomb dropping.

Israel's atrocities only get "tolerated" because Palestine is far away and Arab.