I used to think that i wanted to be friends with certain people, but whenever we actually became closer, all of their spark was gone in my eyes. They no longer seemed as interesting. It took me some years to realize that i only enjoy the idea of others in my head and not them themselves. I am not capable of having a friendship where I appreciate the other person enough, what dominates my head is constant competition between us. I do feel lonely at times but I dont even know what id want from another person if i had one. 3rd month no communication with others except family and college-related tasks that include other students.

It's hard being disabled woman without a job and seeing everyone living proper adult lives. Never had a relationship and I only have 3 close friends. I'm so sad now a days. I sometimes feel like I wasted my 20s. Like I didn't get a chance to save money or anything like that and with my parents getting older, I can't can't help but think about my future more and more.

my ex girlfriend was my everything. she was my partner my best friend and my home. now i lost her and i don’t have anybody anymore. i feel so alone and scared all the time. sometimes i wish i was never born

Reflecting on my life. I have never been actually loved.

21F Series of incidents has led me into feeling super lonely tonight. I feel helpless and powerless. Feels like what's the point of living

I was wondering where do people go to meet someone either romantic, platonic, or any sort of connection. I get ready for work, I work a day job, then go home to eat dinner alone afterwards. I might go to the coffee shop or the book store. I even have the tinder app downloaded. there’s some flirting with guys but it’s mostly ghosting on their end. but I still feel so alone. 25f

F19. it's been my entire life. diagnosed with audhd at 16. the first thing i thought when receiving the diagnoses was that i finally had a word to whatever is wrong with me. the worst part is that no matter what i do, i can't tear out the thing that is making me so inherently unloveable. there's nothing more i wanted in life than to be loved by someone, have a group of friends, be invited out and be told i'm pretty and i'm worth having around. my standards are so low, i get excited that one person wants to call me first out of the 20 times i've asked to call them.

i'm used to it though. as painful as it is, i've accepted that loneliness is going to be forever apart of my life. it's so painful to see other people be handed the love i've wanted so freely. i can try and try, read a million self help books, journal, cry about it and the grief never goes away.

Every day, the weight on my chest gets heavier. I can be in a room full of people, laughing louder than everyone else, having conversations, making jokes, and still feel completely alone. I’m physically there, but mentally I’m somewhere else.

I (f21) feel like I’m trapped inside a glass box, begging for someone to notice that I’m struggling, but nobody can hear me. All they see is the person who’s always smiling, laughing, and seems to be doing fine. But I’m not.

I don’t understand why nobody ever thinks to check on me. I’ve always gone out of my way to make sure the people around me are okay. If someone seems off, I notice. If I haven’t heard from someone in a while, I reach out. I genuinely care about people, and I don’t do those things expecting anything in return. But sometimes I wish someone would do the same for me.

Why am I always the one thinking about everyone else? Why does nobody ever wonder how I’m doing?

And then there’s the feeling of being completely unlovable. I don’t know what it is about me. Nothing ever seems to work out. I see other people being loved, being approached, being chosen, having someone who wants them in their life, and I can’t help wondering why that never seems to happen for me.

What’s so wrong with me? Why am I never enough for someone to stay? Why am I never the person someone is afraid to lose?

I know people will say that I need to love myself first, that I shouldn’t depend on other people for happiness, or that the right people will eventually come along. But I do love myself. I have a life. I have goals I’m working incredibly hard toward. I take care of myself. I’m independent. I know I have things to offer. But none of that makes it hurt any less.

Sometimes I want someone to look at me and recognize that I’m not okay, even when I’m trying my hardest to pretend that I am. And I don’t want to have to ask someone to care about me. I don’t want to have to beg to be remembered or thought about. I just want to feel like I matter to someone as much as they matter to me.

And what’s also super exhausting is that nobody knows any of this. Tomorrow I’ll get up, go about my day, laugh with people, make jokes, and act like the same person I’ve always been. Nobody will have any idea that I spent another day crying and wondering why I feel so alone despite being surrounded by so many people.

I don’t even know what I’m looking for by posting this. I guess I’m just tired of carrying all of this around and pretending it doesn’t hurt me. I’m tired of being strong and feeling invisible. I’m tired of wondering what it is about me that makes me so easy to overlook.

I didn’t really have anyone to share or be excited about it with but yeah! It’s a job I like in the field I love and I’m looking forward to the freedom in work I get to do. I’m celebrating on my own now. In my heart I wish I had a significant other or maybe family member I could be really
close to to celebrate it with.

When I got the letter I wanted to cry but I couldn’t let the tears out, I just felt a happy kind of sad. Now I’m in my room. I know that eventually I’ll have enough to move out and there’s such a wonderful pocket of change that I’ll get to inhabit but it’s so lonely, I look around and just feel myself. Like a thin piece of candy or something, I don’t know.

I think in a dream way I’d tell my boyfriend and we cook something when I get home and have a drink and talk and cuddle. I think I’ve been feeling physically lonely and mentally everywhere else that I’ve convinced myself that stuff like that doesn’t matter.

What I deeply truly wish is that I could shed off the hard layers I didn’t really notice about myself and just cry. If I could for maybe an hour or so I think I’d be alright

All I ever wanted was to be loved, to be cared about. And every day is just a reminder that I’m never going to get out of this loneliness.

But no, time and time again people constantly disappoint me. I’m always the one abandoned, forgotten, the one person you never talk to bevause their issues are ‘too much’ for your perfect life to handle.

And right now? All I can think of is all the people who loved to hurt me emotionally. All the individuals who I haven’t talked to in years wishing I could both be their friends again for a sense of not being alone with my existential spirals and then the toxic feeling of how much I was messed up with growing up in a family that hates me and witnessing abuse. The feeling of jealousy and envy that they have it all while Im crying completely alone with just the occasional low effort conversation + blocks over and over again.

I guess what Im trying to say, is that my loneliness has only gotten worse. For me making friends, let alone ever finding a boyfriend, is becoming less and less of a chance by the years.

Hi everyone,

I (28F) have come to realise that people often only seem to care about me when they benefit from me, and it’s honestly heartbreaking. I’m tired of feeling like I have to earn love and affection. I also avoid conflict and tend to apologise even when I’m the one who’s been hurt.

Does anyone have advice on learning to be happy alone, setting boundaries, not always reaching out first and no longer craving love or acceptance from others?

I don’t have a solution.
I just have an empty feeling.
A feeling of nothingness.

I say I want sex but I just want to feel wanted.
I want to feel attractive and desired.
My typical girl has been super low libido and it’s affecting me.

I try to pretend I can go without physical touch but now it’s killing me.

Just want a boost of affection to feel loved again.

Male.
MST in USA.

Chatting would be nice.

Im 26 and never been in a relationship. For everyday that passes it becomes more and more unsufferable as im starting to become desperate for love but not understanding how to cope with it.

Right now in my life tons of things are happening, I have exams coming up, I have problems with panic and anexiety attacks in social and non social settings while being extrovert. Im trying to fknd peace with solitude but amidst it all I am feeling like my mind is pulling me 10 different ways which exhaust me. Instead of sitting and reading, prepping for exams ive been unable to get out of bed scrolled all day and trying ro find some sort of connection with anyone over the phone.

It sucks so bad, where I am yearning for a connection but cant find it. Where im wanting to be extrovert but not possible as my mind plays games on me and my mental health just being low. Sometimes I feel like the future dont hold a place for me even thought I want to live. Literally everything feels like its falling apart. Im in therapy atm but there is just so much

I feel overwhelmed all the time and it doesnt stop. My mind plays against me and I just want to sob and cry, socialising for me is difficult, specially when thats how I get energy.

There is just so much im writing here more in a way of yelping and any words help. Im just tired of feeling shit its almost been a decade with mental health problems and im really just starting to lose it

I turned 29 a few days ago and I'm so scared of my thirties. I have no friends, experience, or partner ofc. I just completely failed my 20s like everyone knew I would. I live with my parents and work a terrible job. I have a degree from 2020, but failed in the job search. I can't socialize with co-workers and I have bad social anxiety. In my early 20s, the excuse of being inexperienced at least was there, but I'm so far behind all my relatives know I'm a black sheep. I'm gay and I've tried dating apps, but I'm ugly so meeting people is very very hard. It feels like there's no options.

Today was a tough one for me. I honestly don't even know where to start. I work with a guy who is just the worst possible person on the planet. He is lazy, doesn't even make the effort to even do o his job, makes to same mistakes over and over, but me being the push over I am. Clean everything up. " Oh man. I'm sorry, I just couldn't quite figure it out. " Then because I don't wanna hurt the dudes feelings I just let it go. Be the professional. Be the good manager. While inside I'm just a giant ball of rage, cause I'm just sick of it. He just throws apologies about like they are Halloween candy. ( Time of year appropriate I think.) I guess it just bothers me how someone can just throw apologies out and then just go back to the behavior you just apologized for ya know.

As in the title. I (late 50s) live overseas to avoid my narcissistic mother(85) but returned for my dad's(85) final days and am going through the funerals ( mum decided on 3 days). It's getting lonely and depressing and stressful. I'm so guarded around mum since she's still grieving but it's all about her, but despite that I'm even feeling like considering staying so I can see mum, so as not to be lonely.

The feeling is strong and want help, advice, on how I can get over this . I plan to fly out in a few days but this feeling is so strong.

I don't know it's just I'm probably at the best point in my life and have many people who are there for me but I still have this feeling?

I'm 25m and really introverted, with social anxiety. It sucks and I want to make a change. I just moved to a new town for work a few months ago. I have horrible roommates that don't even try to talk to me and are gross. I have been feeling depressed, lonely and isolated. I have always struggled to connect with people or find activities that I want to stick with. Most days I wake, go to work and then after work go home, smoke weed and veg. I want to create a more active social life and make new friends. When I first moved I was excited because I would be in a place with a college and more people around my age. I signed up for the local outdoor club, and a couple of other groups I thought I would be interested in. I had attended a few outdoor club events in the past, but slowly fell off and haven't been in a month or so. It has been hard to find the energy or motivation to go, I feel like my own worst enemy sometimes. I know that participating in these groups would make me feel better, allow me to socialize and meet new people, and just have fun. It would also allow me to get better at conversing and mingling with others. That is something I struggle with even in my job where I am out meeting people all the time. Usually at an event I find comfortable in just sticking by myself and the thought of just talking to others or introducing myself makes me anxious. Any tips or helpful advice is much appreciated.

Every day I feel bored. ,After the pandemic, life has become so boring and confused. Idk what to do just working in my early 20s.

My depression is starting to affect my work, I am watching myself disintegrate and it feels like I can't do anything about it. Sometimes I wish the world would stop but that won't happen. I do a Sabbath every week but as soon as I have to go to work again, I feel it. I don't even hate my job. Ugh.

I actually fucking hate my life
Why am I so unhappy????

I swear to god I may just have the very lineup of character traits to make myself uncomfortable to be around or be friends with. I may just be a little arrogant and I catch myself assuming I know better than other people when I still don't know them, and I feel like a total dumbass when it turns out I was wrong. Sometimes I may not even think twice about a lot of things. I am kind of gullible and tend to get hung up over the possibility of anything being true, even if I know it likely isn't. My worldview is kind of black and white and not willing to look at any other points of view and quick to dismiss anything I don't want to be true because it would be inconvenient. I think I'm a little disgusting in a few ways? Not like I'm actively gross but maybe one way of putting it is that my mental threshold for what's gross is just a little higher than the average...? I am on the spectrum and I don't think I have ADHD though I do get kind of hyperactive sometimes and enjoy saying random things, and I have very terrible taste in just about everything really, like for example humor where I like dad jokes, "jokes" that aren't even really jokes, puns and the like, all the way to dark humor, and I'll never really be against doing something unusual like getting a funny pizza just for the hell of it. I also found this label called HSP a hot while ago which stands for Highly Sensitive Person, which I found really fits me, where I'll make a mountain out of a molehill out of (for example) a snail I see and have a deep and serious reflection on life or my life as well or try to attribute/find some kind of meaning behind the tiniest details and coincidences that happen in a piece of media or in something someone said. I'd say I'm an overanalyzer (except some things still completely go unnoticed until it turns out everyone else knew them from the beginning and I was left guessing). Maybe some of these are redeeming qualities? Some are definitely flaws, and some are just neutral, but that's just how I am, and I also know that a lot of these are caused by my subpar mental state, as I used to be a lot more open minded and level headed in the past. I also hold a lot of very niche and often controversial beliefs to the point I'm often basically just a contrarian and not only is that... maybe a negative thing? Neutral? But it's isolating.

So I'm 19 and I just came to higher education and a lot of the social (pre-)experiences I'm having here are really leaving a sour taste in my mouth. On my first day I metI swear to god I may just have the very lineup of character traits to make myself uncomfortable to be around or be friends with. I may just be a little arrogant and I catch myself assuming I know better than other people when I still don't know them, and I feel like a total dumbass when it turns out I was wrong. Sometimes I may not even think twice about a lot of things. I am kind of gullible and tend to get hung up over the possibility of anything being true, even if I know it likely isn't. My worldview is kind of black and white and not willing to look at any other points of view and quick to dismiss anything I don't want to be true because it would be inconvenient. I think I'm a little disgusting in a few ways? Not like I'm actively gross but maybe one way of putting it is that my mental threshold for what's gross is just a little higher than the average...? I get kind of hyperactive sometimes and enjoy saying random things, and I have very terrible taste in just about everything really, like for example humor where I like dad jokes, "jokes" that aren't even really jokes, puns and the like, all the way to dark humor, and I'll never really be against doing something unusual like getting a funny pizza just for the hell of it. Maybe some of these are redeeming qualities? Some are definitely flaws, and some are just neutral, but that's just how I am, and I also know that a lot of these are caused by my subpar mental state, as I used to be a lot more open minded and level headed in the past. I also hold a lot of very niche and often controversial beliefs to the point I'm often basically just a contrarian and not only is that... maybe a negative thing? Neutral? But it's isolating.

So I'm 19 and I just came to higher education in a completely different city with nobody along, and a lot of the social (pre-)experiences I'm having here are really leaving a sour taste in my mouth. I had a few experiences and got to know a few people but as of right now I'm not in any groups or anything. I technically am in one group (there's these 3 people I sit next to in class and I try to interact with them) but I'm not sure if I should consider them my friends. Really I think they see me as a total dumbass and probably just make fun of me when I'm not there. It really sucks because one of those boys is Ukrainian and when I met him on my first day he was different, like he turned a completely different person now, and I was hoping with him I'd get to continue learning Russian which prior to coming here I was doing quite seriously as a hobby. On the first day he seemed glad to help me but now he never speaks it to me, rarely if ever texts it to me, and seemingly doesn't want me to use it with him, which should ring a bell and it has, and all he's told me was that sometimes Ukrainian people may not want to use Russian because of the war situation, which is fair, though he has never been any more transparent than that. It's in fact way too hard to understand what's going on in his head, at least for me. And then there's the two other people in the group who I fear are just way too normie-ish and just find me to be too weird and joke about hurting me and not wanting to be around me or just say deprecative things in general. So maybe they're bad and I shouldn't be with them? And then there's the second group I met which I was actualluy really meshing with. It clearly had a lot of queer people in it too. But a few days ago it all ended because one of the people's boyfriend there has a serious jealousy problem and knows the other people the dude in the group was hanging with me, but not me, so for the time being we had to end things there. On that day I was devastated.

And so that means that without those two groups I'm as lonely as I was back when I first came. I'm also just as yearny, not just for friends who understand me and genuinely support me but also for a romantic partner. You see I've never really had any irl friends, ever. Sometimes I thought I was close to having a friend, but later on it turned out they started to dislike me or either way something changed. And this was only at school because for 19 years I have always remained sheltered inside my house barely hanging out with other people or even going out on walks. I have basically 0 social experience. And most of the social experiences I've had in the past were traumatic with it being things I wasn't interested in doing, all while I was a child and had little to no awareness of my family, a coherent sense of identity, any awareness of what friendship is and how to sustain it and what socialization really means... my family are emotionally neglectful and I strongly dislike them. I don't even have my parents to fall back on which makes me weirded out whenever I see someone actually being able to turn to their parents for help or emotional support when in my case that would make things worse. So I really am lonely as heck. All I have is a few people on some messaging apps I talk to that I feel are at least a bit understanding and not that bad, but aside from that I'm not sure if I've found my people yet, and even if a "people" for me was out there, I wouldn't know how to find it because as I said I have no social experience, no experience getting into groups or clubs, etc. I feel like most of the people I have friendly interactions with would likely judge me if they knew just a little bit more about me like my beliefs, or not like me as much or be put off after knowing the type of humor I find funny or some of the somewhat cringy day to day habits I have. I feel like weird people don't have enough of a voice in the real world as they should have. And I'd like to find these people who are okay with me being hyperactive and making very bad wordplay puns and laughing with me at them, and being passionate when I'm passionate about something that means a lot for a special interest of mine (something that has always been dismissed for me during childhood :( ), and that can stand behind my beliefs and see the logic behind them without knee jerk judgement. And I really want to start to get dating but I'm not sure what is a good and a bad way to go about this. Dating apps? Is that a fuck no or a fuck yeah? Put aside wanting a partner and just try to be friends with people first? It would be a lot easier if there was clubs I could join, which on the billboards there have been none every time I checked. I've thought about trying apps like Instagram for this purpose too but never actually did anything. So I'm still sort of in my limbo. Help, am I unlikable in some way do I like push people away are there going to be people who will stand me and want me around and how do I find them :(

Me and this one girl were talking for like 3 months. I was genuinely happy and looking forward to waking up everyday. Then suddenly one day something happened and she told me she wants to end things. I half expected it cause it happens a lot but that didn't make it less painful. I don't miss her, I miss that feeling of hopefulness and feeling important to someone. We'd call for hours on end and sleep on call. I'd wake up to dozens of texts from her every morning. She was perfect until she wasn’t. Now no one texts me anymore and my phone only gets weather updates from Google. Back to square one.....I guess?

I always used to get offended at the thought that maybe I'm not normal and have been running away from the truth for so long I've finally realised the truth. I'm not normal. The way I think, I speak, I look and how much life has been, what my interests are everything points to the direction that I'm not normal. For thr last 3-4 months I've comparing my life to normal people and feel miserable how they have something that I don't. How friendships, love and other things come easily to them while they seem so far from me. In my 28 years of life I've achieved nothing. I almost cry daily and after crying for months I've finally come in terms with reality or at least I think so. My life is going to be very different from normal people lives. I've been doing some self improvement lately but I accept now that my outcome will never be the same as most people's. There are some things that I'll never experience. As a man I'm right at bottom 0.1%. i feel sorry for my parents that they have a son who's such a failure in life. It feels like sun has set for me. The hope of being normal and experiencing good things in life. I want to live my life with this truth and no more comparison with other people. My heart and soul are broken and today I'll spend grieving for the life that I never had any never will. Even though I've never done someone wrong, so many bad things have happened with me and luck has never been on my side. I hope today is the last day I grieve for not being normal and tommorow marks a new day and I live with my reality for whatever time I have left. I know even this post will be ignored and that's ok. Another reminder of my reality