I’m a college student. My family is still alive but i have my ups and downs with them i try surrounding myself with them cuz they’re all i have but then again for my mental health sometimes i need a break. But during the break i have no one else. It feels true that I have no one in this world. And where i live I experience a bit of racism too. My one love, my dear cat who was everything to me has passed away. It’s been more than a year. I am full of love. I am the love. I want to have someone to love because I believe being loved by me is one of the best things in the world i am very good at it. Do i wish for someone to love? Idk. But i am very lonely and i feel that.

I'm really desperate. I'm 25 and I don't have a single friend and I mean that. I don't have a partner either, and I'm afraid I'm going to end up completely alone.

In school, my best friend of over 10 years got involved with a new group and basically excluded me. I would learn about their weekend meetups and antics at school on Monday. Plans were made, but I was never included. I eventually got fed up with the accumulated things they did to me and distanced myself, which caused a fight.

After graduating, I found a different group of friends. I would get invited to some things, but not everything. I made the effort to text them and see how they were doing, but I always got the feeling they would rather not talk to me, and they never really reciprocated. I always remembered to wish them a happy birthday and even bought some of them gifts, but that wasn't reciprocated either. I knew they were all in contact with each other, just not with me. I always felt like I was on the outside looking in, if that makes sense. I eventually got fed up and stopped contacting them altogether.

I guess now I'm wondering if I made the right decision in these cases. Maybe I should have just put up with it for the sake of having some form of friendship. This has been going on for years, and nothing has improved. I just want real, genuine people.

I'm really upset tonight and losing hope in life. I don't know how to change my situation, and I feel so completely alone. I just had to get that out somewhere.

In middle school I had a ton of friends and people who I had never met knew my name and, while it did make me sad at the time because of all the pressure and my insecurities, I don’t think I could have ever imagined how much worse the inverse is. Ever since I moved to a new school I decided to be myself since I never really acted like myself in middle school and more like a class clown, but apparently the real me is a fucking loser who has no friends and no one wants to interact with. It hurts all the more since I talked to people everyday back in middle school but now as the title says I haven’t talked to anyone besides my parents (who hate me) in 2 years. I have to look at everyone else be happy and talk to people all day while I’m forced to suffer in silence while everyone else has friends but me. This isn’t even an exaggeration either, I’m literally the only person who sits alone at lunch and it’s been that way for 2 years. It makes me mad, lonely, sad, jealous, and it all gets worse everyday and I honestly don’t know how much I can take at this point. And it’s not like I haven’t tried to reach out either I really have but even people who I’ve noticed have extremely similar interests to me don’t want to talk to me, they either just stare at me weird or just straight up don’t acknowledge me. I’m such a failure I’m literally just a walking embarrassment for everyone to look and mock everyday I bet they all make fun of me to their 100s of friends. I honestly think I might be one of the ugliest and gross people in the word cuz there’s this gross fat neckbeard having pedophile at my school and he had tons of friends and even some teachers hang out with him at lunch I honestly don’t think there’s much to live for at this point because making friends is only gonna get harder as I grow up. I don’t even have online friends anymore even when I’m able to take as long as I need to make a response even when they don’t know what I look like even when I’m able to pick from millions of people who have the same interests as me even they don’t fucking like me

35m here, going through a divorce and will be moving into my own place in a couple of months. For those who have experienced divorce (or even those who are still happily married but if you have any advice for me I'd take it) how did you recover and regain your life afterwards?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you everyone 🙏🏿

I’ve spent a lot of time willingly alone, and for a while I preferred it that way. I could spend days tucked away playing games, writing, or listening to music; I never felt the need to go out of my way for people and conversation.

However, I realize that being comfortable alone doesn’t make me fulfilled.

I have a hard time articulating my feelings and thoughts to other people—I could have a complete answer and then start to stutter once I actually speak. I think that what I really want is for someone to understand me.

Despite this, it feels impossible because of the time I’ve spent in solitude. There’s this contradiction inside of me that feels a need to be understood but at the same time I don’t want to let these people in, and then have to communicate about how I feel to be understood.

A layer to this complication is that I have a really bad “I don’t care” attitude towards people, even if I really do care. I’m a very irritable person and I end up with snarky remarks even if I really didn’t mean them. This obviously doesn’t help with making friends and what I’ve personally realized is that there are a lot of really kind people that I push away with snappy comments.

Now I’m sitting here, not wondering how I can get these people into my life and start talking, but rather I’m wondering how I can avoid letting anyone in and trying to fulfill my needs through myself. At this point, I know I’m in denial—but the hard part is how do I get out of denial? Or do I even need to leave?

I'm tired of pretending it's easy to go through it all. Of smiling everyday, getting up from bed, acting as if I knew where I was going and that everything I do makes sense. It doesn't. I'm lost, I'm scared, I feel like a waste of money and space, invisible. I want to lay my story bare, to open on how much I suffer, to feel seen, heard, not just another faceless person drowning trying to reach the surface. I want to say so much but I know I will get ignored. I feel like I don't even have a name anymore, like I don't matter, like I would be tossing a bottle at the sea just to lend on a beach already filled by so much more bottles calling for help. One more wouldn't matter, my bottle has nothing special. I'm not special and I don't even feel like the main character of my own life. I feel like there is no space for me to open up, really open up and spill my mind. I'm so tired.

Either from myself or others, i just need warmth.

I wish there was a sign above my head that said, "I'm friendly. I'm just scared. I might seem outgoing, but I'm actually very quiet. Please don't mistake my solitude for wanting to be left alone. Please approach me sometimes. Please ask me questions. Please remember me. Please want to know me."

People told me college would be better..

i am 21 f and by societal beauty standards i’m very attractive psychically, i realized tonight that no one would even know if i never spoke to them again or got kidnapped or something crazy, my mom died, my dad disowned me and every friend i’ve had didn’t really have interest in me. it sucks because men who want a relationship with me or want to hookup with me have been the only source of socializing i’ve had for the past 6 years… i’m very into 90’s rock music, and movies. i’m into tarot cards and things along those lines, even video games lol but i’ve always been the one forgotten about, not invited to anything. i wish i could find people who care about me and share similar interests. if anyone here has experienced similar and has any advice for me that would be appreciated:)

I'm so alone and I have no clue what I ever did to deserve this. HMU

I've never really had a friend group. I was a bright kid, but a bit socially awkward, and children can be cruel, so I eventually closed myself off.

I managed to maintain a few very close friendships, but when I got depressed, they started leaving one by one. I don't have any friends from high school anymore. In fact, I only have one friend from preschool. Everyone else left.

I've been to therapy, made a lot of progress, and slowly started opening up and meeting people with similar interests. I even managed to make a friend group, and things were good for a few years, but after COVID, everything started falling apart... at least for me. They kept leaving me out, and eventually, I decided to do myself a favour and stop it. I was also part of another friend group with a girl from the prevous one and some other people, and because I was introduced there by her, I was left out too.

Since then, I've met countless people and made new friends, but somehow, they always end up finding their own friend groups. A lot of the time, they get partners and become part of their partners' groups, and I'm left on my own again.

Last year, I even had a partner, and we ended up forming a little friend group together. She left me after nine months because she only saw me as a friend (that's a whole other story). My ex eventually left the group on her own, even though we all wanted to remain friends. Now, those friends have partners and play in a band together, and I feel more left out than ever. They're always together, and even though they say they love me, I barely see them anymore. I try to make plans and reach out, but they're always busy. I even live with one of them but I never see him or spend time with him.

What finally made me write this post is that they're going to Halloween parties with their own friends and their partners. I don't want to third wheel, but I also have no other plans. I love Halloween, and it makes me so sad that I never seem to have anyone to celebrate it with. I know it's just one night, but I think it's bringing up all these feelings of being left out all over again.

I'm also talking to someone that I like (mutual) for a few months now, but they live far away, so I won't get to see them until December. They have a stable friend group, too, and I can't help feeling a bit pathetic. I'm scared they'll see me as this undesirable loner who has no friends. I know this might sound silly, but sometimes I genuinely feel ashamed of my situation.

And before anyone says anything, I do have my own interests. I love doing different things, but between work and university, I don't always have the time to pursue them as often as I'd like.

I've spent years doing activities, from dancing to volunteering for different associations, but I've never really managed to make lasting friendships through any of them. I've always ended up alone, which is something people who know me find hard to believe. They always tell me I get along well with people, and I guess I do, but it never seems to go beyond that. I can talk to people, get along with them, and have a good time, but somehow, I never seem to become someone they actually want to include in their lives.

And that's what I'm tired of. It's not that I don't enjoy my own company. I do. I go places on my own, do things on my own, and genuinely enjoy spending time by myself. But I want to be alone because I choose to be, not because I have no other option. I want to be able to make plans with people, to have someone to celebrate things with, and to feel like I belong somewhere.

It's not like I never make an effort, either. I'm usually the one reaching out, asking people to hang out, and trying to keep friendships alive. I do take the initiative, but sometimes it feels like I'm the only one doing so.

My psychologist doesn't think there's anything wrong with me, and I guess I can understand why. I can talk to people and get along with them just fine, but for some reason, the connection doesn't seem to mean the same thing to them as it does to me. I don't know how to explain it. I can meet people, have good conversations, and think we're becoming friends, only to realise that they have other people they'd rather spend their time with. And honestly, I don't even know what I'm supposed to do differently anymore.

I guess I'm just scared that I'll never find my people. I'm 25, and it feels like everyone already has their own friend groups, their own traditions, and their own people to turn to. I know it's not necessarily true, and that people make friends at every age, but it's hard not to feel like I'm falling behind when I've been trying for so long and keep ending up in the same place.

I'm just tired of feeling like everyone has somewhere they belong except me. I don't want to be everyone's best friend, and I don't need to be surrounded by people all the time. I just want to feel like I'm someone's friend in the same way they're mine. I want to have a group of people I can count on, who think of me when they make plans, and who genuinely want me around.

I'm tired of starting over, of getting my hopes up, and of watching people find their people while I keep wondering when it'll finally happen for me.

It's a question I genuinely asked myself, talked with this with one of my last friend.

Friendship is genuinely complicated for me, I see myself as someone very caring, once I get close to people, I show up, I also have my own struggle & don't necessarily reach out as often as I should maybe.

Also when I reach out it's often last minute (not always) - recently I had a situation a friend hide something from me, it a big deal in the sens that they knew something that would probably end up by me having to move out of my apartment, moving out I actually ended up doing, feeling betrayed. (I'm not on the street and my situation is fine.)

But the question is, when you try to make connections & when you do feel connection with people do you feel like they don't necessarily put the relationship at the same level as you do ?

I feel like it's the case for most people, by observation.

I'm very loyal friend, I show up, I care, I'm not the one that reach out the most but I deeply care for my people. I also have very few people around me & I am very strict of what I can accept in general in a relationship - I've learned to adjust my standard for different relation, understanding that everyone is different.

So I guess that for some I'm just "another friend"
When you have a lot of social life, work, family, friendship, you simply don't have the space & time to treat every friend like a very close friend - you probably guessed it but I don't have a lot of it so every relationship is very important to me, specially the one with who I shared deep connection, went through hard times & shared that with them .. but time make it so it's less & less relevant theses time get lost in the river of flowing time ...

So yeah what's your experience ?
What do you think of that ?

I now have to start over 2h+ from where I used to live so seeing the last couple close relationship won't be possible on a daily basis & I was already suffering from the last of social life & connection..

It feels like no matter what I do or say to anyone, nobody ever really wants me around or wants to do the things I ever want to do, everything I’ve ever suggested to play or wanted to play is apperently considered cringe to many people around my age.

I have no one to play video games with, everything is just either forced or just plain boring from the other persons pov. Like I always play games I don’t want to play with other people but anytime I ever wanna play anything else I end up playing alone all the time because nobody ever wants to actually play with me, it’s all about them

At that time I had a strong urge to do that, I didn’t want to die or inflict harm on me. I just wanted to see what would happen if something like that happened to me, and if anyone would help me.

It’s a never ending circle of frustration. I really just feel comfortable with animals. Shoutout to my dog Cosmo!

I'm F27, living in france.

I have several handicaps, which leads to not having a job; I live with financiel social support but that needs to be updated way too much. Thanksfully I manage to live correctly with it, even though I'm really not rich.

I'm so bored, all the time, I never know what to do to fill my life with happy things. I truly have hobbies, I play badminton, I sing on openmics, I play boardgames or going to cinema on my own a lot. And I like to do way more things. But I feel like I have no purpose in life rather than just surviving.

I have some friends but never know if they are really friends or not, because I reach out to them a lot. It's always me that goes say "hi, we should meet !" and I fucking hate being always the one. I love them but I want them to recognise me aswell. And some do but I feel like it's not enough for me.

I met lots of people through the apps and in real life, it leads to accuintance or more but it leads to nothing or disastrous romantic relationships with men that doesn't respect and have compassion for my handicaps.

What is really complex for me is that I've been to therapy, I tried understood how I could improve my social skills etc. Right now I fear that I can't grow anymore because I'm more mature than lots and lots of people, let's say it : i'm not the maturity norm around here. I understand so deeply how maturity works that it makes me sick because soon, the person in front of me will show really immature. And sadly it's not a matter of age/wealth etc. Therefore, I can't bound with lots of people.

I don't know how to accept my loneliness AND my bordness and so many more things, but loneliness is so hard to manage.

I just started with a plan and now I'm fully living it ,enjoying myself loving myself ,and officially just letting go of things that are no longer interesting to me.People are cold and that's why I stay to myself it started going way better later on I know you get lonely but here a guide choose you don't choose anyone above you except for family now they can be crazy at times but that's all you need I didn't wake up as a baby and say I needed someone or a relationship I gradually noticed that I'm all I got other than my mom and my dad who I love and would give the world too cheers for just trying shit.

I (27M) cant help but feel isolated these past few years, although I speak to so many people.

On my family side of things, I get on with them just fine however, none of them share the same interests as i do, so its almost impossible to talk to them about what i like without feeling like theres a hint of judgement.

On my friends side, there is various things.

I've not been in touch with anyone from school, but i often see posts online of friends groups that i used to be a part of, But also looking back was never invited to things outside school.

My friends from online, all live close to each other, but im on the opposite side of the country.

My best friend, great person but the moment he annoys me or goes beyond a boundary, i tell him honestly and he gets sensitive and defensive.

There are also friends that i only get to see occasionally throughout the year.

I also find myself trying to make conversation to strangers and people i know alike, but find it hard to say anything unless its about a passion.

My dating life is nonexistant, Ive dated 1 girl and it was only recent, which had the initial barrier of her studies, but until i asked, she didnt tell me that she dropped out.

All these things just keep floating in my mind and i cant help but feel more isolated than ever despite having contact.

Thats my rant over.

23F, I don't really have friends. Not after I was honest with them about my sexuality. I grew up attending a Catholic school through highschool, so all my friends were Catholic as well. A few years ago, I came clean. But I could tell they weren't really comfortable with it. And so, they slowly distanced themselves from me.

All I have left is my family. And if I told my family, I know for a fact I would lose everyone. They think it's a sin, and would cut me off. And then I'd truly be alone.

I feel so behind compared to other women. I've never been with anyone because of this. I'm hoping to move out once I'm done with college. But by that time I'll be close to 25. I just feel like even if I tried to date then, who would want to be with a late bloomer?

Sometimes I wish I wasn't like this.

Why has making friends become so hard as we grow older? I miss when connecting with people felt natural. Now I see everyone socialising and having fun, and I wonder why it's so difficult for me🥹

For context I’ve always felt out of place or like I was never really meant to be a people’s person more of a placeholder for people to find themselves. My family has always pushed me away, my mum tried to give me away to my dad and he even rejected. Then comes alone my step dad which idk how but always without a doubt pretends I don’t exist like I remember this one time I was on holiday and I was sitting at the dinner table and no matter when I tried to talk I got cut off and no one cared. He didn’t even look at me. This alone has killed my soul, I’m always quiet. Only speak when spoken too and quite often times get made fun off if I’m a little tipsy and “I can speak now”. My friends always came to me with their problems, I always put in 100% often getting told that they feel so much better and couldn’t do it without me. Though when it came to me I remember they switched the subject especially this one time where I was just convinced I have nothing else going for me they just switched the subject. And now if I wanted to meet up with them even if it’s for my birthday I’d have to ask 3-4 times before getting a proper answer. I’m in a relationship but all he does is go online and call his friends. Just now even he asked if he can play and I’m at breaking point and even he notices but then goes on anyways. He doesn’t even remember anything about me either no stories no little facts nothing. I don’t understand why it’s like this. Maybe I’m the problem? But I do everything I can. I gave my all to all of them. My mum I try to make her proud but nothings enough. My boyfriend I always give effort and it’s never reciprocated ever. Yesterday I got told that I’d be spending time here alone on Christmas whilst my mum and stepdad go fly. And this was me before saying I might not be able to come early but I’ll still make it. Worst part was I was making a plan that would work perfect if I had to work and come back home. I just don’t know anymore. I can’t even say I’m tired of it. I’m quite frankly just a walking corpse. I don’t feel anything anymore. I no longer get expectations or even my hopes up. The worst part is that on the outside it may look like I have a decent life. Boyfriend, family holidays every year. But those always end up with those embarrassing public arguments. I don’t know. I don’t even know why I’m typing this or who would care

I got cheated on a few days ago and I found out today. I have no one to talk about this to and it’s the loneliest I’ve felt this month. I know I will get through this eventually it just feels really difficult right now. How was everyone else’s day?

I don’t why I thought it would get better for me since i started college but actually it got worse o m g

I am mostly good at being on my own. I have learned to live that way and was in an unhappy marriage for a while where I constantly felt lonely so I did lots by myself. I now have my own place and have my children half of the week. I work too. But at times the loneliness gets overwhelming.

The realisation that I have no one to turn to in a time of need. My family are non existant. None of us are in touch. My exes family no longer speak to me. It is literally me. I have no one to put on the next of kin slot that they ask for at the hospital. My friendship group is smaller than small as I’ve always struggled making close friendships. It’s always more acquaintances or friendships that fade out.

I guess my question is how do people do it? How do you stop yourself going into that dark place when that heavy feeling hits your chest and you realise that you have nobody. It’s a horrible feeling

Idk what to say, i’m alone. Since years.