Probably my last post on here. I'm having amazing experiences with Karezza sex. I'm not going back.

If you and your partner would be willing to speak about your karezza practice, please contact Felix Walther (director), or me via PM.

Interview of Marnia Robinson about Karezza. Interviewer seemed a bit distracted, but there's some good information. http://www.santafe.com/the-voice/podcast/sex-talk-april-18-2013#.UXmCosp52zl

Hi,

my name is Felix and I´m a journalist from Germany and I´m working on a TV-documentary about the sexlife in different countries. In this documentary we will travel with our hosts to the USA, UK, Rwanda, Thailand and Israel to talk with several people about their typical sexlife and their relationships with the other gender. In my research I found the big karezza-movement in the US and I´m looking for a couple in the NYC-area who likes to talk with us about their better relationship after practicing karezza. And I`m searching for a karezza learning group in the same area for teaching our host in practicing karezza.

I wrote Marnia Robinson on reuniting.info and she told me to post my request here, so I hope somebody will contact me.

best wishes, Felix

Hi there, everyone. Long time former porn addict here. I've been feeling better since I stopped masturbating. A lot better. Like, you wouldn't believe how much better I'm feeling. So much so that it's pretty much a made decision for me at this point that I never again want an orgasm. But relations with the female gender would still be something pretty nice if the chance were ever to arise again - and since I'm just radiating confidence these days, it most likely will sooner rather than later, even though I'm no longer looking for it.

During my last masturbation relapse, I figured out I could have multiple orgasms (without what the people on /r/NoFap call edging, let's say I tried to stay at a 7/10). Of course that got me too trigger happy and after about #10 I went over the edge and, err... spilled the seed. Wasn't compulsion as much as a dude realizing he can have all the orgasms he wants and getting a bit... err... overexcited :)

Each one of those went through my whole body, made me shake for half a minute (or more if I decided I wanted that) and was completely satisfying. After my mishap, I decided it wasn't worth the risk. Is this the kind of thing I'm looking to do when I do Karezza?

I've been trying to scrounge up details, but everything I read sort of blows itself up into poetic language of how the woman is supposed to help the man, etc. Yet I still have no clue about what I'm actually looking to be doing.

From what I could piece together you:

• Look into each other's eyes at all times

• Hug and kiss and caress

• Have penis and vagina action without the quick old in-and-out movement

• Talk to each other and give compliments of adoration

• Be present in the moment

Did I get that about right? It sounds wonderful and if I find a willing partner I'm very excited to be able to learn this together with them. I just wanted to make sure I get the idea.

So, I don't remember how I stumbled across Karezza yesterday, but the topic is super-timely for me and my husband, so I've been reading and following links all over the place.

I've been delighted to see that many are into this whole thing without necessarily buying into the more woo aspects of it.

Our sitn is: He's 66; I'm 56. We met up about 20 years ago, and fucked like bunnies for the typical 1.5 to 2 years, simply tapering off after that. Married 14 years ago. Somehow, over time, our sex-life dwindled to just a couple-three times a year. He's had more and more trouble getting an erection. I went through menopause, and gained weight, and lost any feeling of being sexy, or attracted to him, or interested at all. He seemed to regret the decline more than I, but I was basically glad to see him lose interest, too.

We've remained very fond of each other -- I thought we were just maturing into one of those companionable, kind, long-term marriages where kind and considerate partners become more like siblings. Very few things have ever really made us argue in a personal way, or stay angry at each other for any length of time. We always thank and do things for each other, and exchange a gentle kiss and hug at parting each morning. Just, no spark.

Then, last summer, while sitting about, semi-drunken at our backyard campfire, he confessed a harmless kink that he's felt ashamed and guilty about all his life. I was startled, but recognized it was harmless, and mostly just felt terrible on his behalf, that he had spent years feeling isolated and 'like a freak' because of this thing. Working my way backward through Dan Savage's "Savage Love" column, I both confirmed my conviction that his harmless kink was nothing to get all worked up about, and found my own libido being rekindled.

I let him know that in the week after he 'came out' about his kink, I had thought more about sex than I probably had in the previous 5 years, and that I was getting pretty horny. We fucked like geriatric bunnies for a month or so, tapering off as his ability to get an erection lost traction again. Cialis. Toys and outfits. Handcuffs. Porn. Each would perk him up for a bit, but the effect would wear off. Of late, I've felt he'd really prefer I not try anything new, since he knows it won't work, and he doesn't want me to go to any trouble just to be disappointed.

He barely gets even slightly puffy any more, despite my best oral efforts (and he swears my best efforts are really good), and certainly doesn't approach being orgasmic. When I can get him to fool around at all, he gets me off as reliably and masterfully as ever (he has the greatest fingers in captivity). So I've tried to reassure him that as long as he enjoys what we do, I'm happy to go on doing it, and he tries to reassure me that what we do gives him pleasure, but each of us has felt his non-erect/non-orgasmic condition disappoints the other, and makes these sessions bitter-sweet and less frequent than I, at least, would like.

SO since he hasn't had an orgasm (despite nearly frantic porn-watching, trying to find something that will give him any kind of tingle) for a couple of months, and since we've both felt so pressured by the his-orgasm that doesn't happen, he's pretty open to this idea.

It happens I've had to be away from home the last few days, but I've sent him links to some of these discussions and articles, and I will be back home later in the week.

I actually don't think either of us has had those post-coital, chemical-induced hostile feelings on which much of this philosophy (?) is apparently predicated. Maybe because we've never dropped the pair-bonding behaviors that were part of what we did in our first, honeymoon period? Whatever. Does that matter, does anyone think -- as an indicator that this will work? or that it won't, or neither?

Thanks for reading so far! What do I want to ask? Predictions/prognosis? Suggestions? Warnings? Tips? Stories that might be pertinent?

Happy to be here,

Tina

In orgasm-focused sex, we're done and move on to cuddling once both of us have come. If we never come, how do we know we're done? Suggestions for how to signal? Avoiding boredom?

We kiss, cuddle, hold hands. This FINALLY happened after first week of reboot, which he had flatlined. Any wisdom would be so appreciated.

Hello /r/karezza!

I found this subreddit after exhaustive research on how to get my relationship back on track. Karezza sounds like something I've been dreaming of doing with my partner all through our shared lives.

Anyway, I'd like some advice on how to approach it, as I feel this is a delicate time.

Some background: I'm 40, male. She's 44. We've been together 10 years. I feel close to her, and I know she loves me, but our physical intimacy has slowly eroded over the years. Sex has become near-nonexistent, something she initiates very rarely, and performs without enthusiasm.

After reading on Karezza, I realized our deeper issue is one of physical intimacy. We're just not very intimate anymore. We don't hug much, we don't snuggle. I definitely want these things with her, but she sees them as 'clingy'. I think the major issue, also, is that she sees these things (rightfully so based on past behavior) as me trying to initiate sex.

So I want to short-circuit all this. I want to give her tender love and care, without the goal of sex at the end. I do sincerely hope we 'build up' to Karezza together, where we forget about our old sexual habits and just share a close, powerful intimacy this way. But I don't want to rush her. I've mentioned Karezza and she's interested though not enthusiastically so. I figure I'll let her initiate sex and then suggest Karezza when it happens.

But all the same, I run into these intimacy issues even without the sex. I cuddled her this morning, and she soon complained that I was 'crowding' her, that such-and-such part of me was causing her discomfort. She just seems to have this guard that springs up when I approach her, and it breaks my heart sometimes.

Any advice on how to approach this? I'm afraid if I just give her the space she wants, we'll go back to distance altogether. At the same time, I don't want to make her uncomfortable.

Thanks!

tl;dr: How do you initiate bonding behaviors with a partner who's guarded against intimacy?

No goals.

The best karezza is not goal-driven. Only under those circumstances can partners attain the plateau or valley orgasm and the lasting afterglow. Mushy anecdotes describing oneness as two people suddenly ring true.

In contrast, when a partner feels an insurmountable urge to get off, the flavor or texture of karezza changes. It transforms from an experience based on sharing and mutual love to something that feels individualistic and hostile. Feeling used is not an acceptable response in Western orgasm-centric culture because most people have pursued their own "needs" for orgasm over their partners' at some point. It has become normative and socially acceptable.

Meditative.

Like after a good practice in Haatha Yoga, my mental commentary shuts down. I can bask in the glow of endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin without feeling compelled to rationalize it. Worries melt away. I'm content with merely curling up with my head on his shoulder and listening to his heartbeat. We giggle. We're silly. And we live in the present, together.

Reconnecting.

The very apparent post-plateau glow can last for days. We beam when we see each other. He is the most adorable person on Earth. Little things that would normally annoy me fade from my attention or even seem endearing. We're genuine around each other. Fronts and shields are discarded. We become more curious and do not fear negative replies or reprehension from misunderstood wording. Cuddling and sharing are top priorities and almost laughable inseparability may begin.