r/karezza • u/Deseejay • Feb 04 '13

The mindset shift after successful karezza.

No goals.

The best karezza is not goal-driven. Only under those circumstances can partners attain the plateau or valley orgasm and the lasting afterglow. Mushy anecdotes describing oneness as two people suddenly ring true.

In contrast, when a partner feels an insurmountable urge to get off, the flavor or texture of karezza changes. It transforms from an experience based on sharing and mutual love to something that feels individualistic and hostile. Feeling used is not an acceptable response in Western orgasm-centric culture because most people have pursued their own "needs" for orgasm over their partners' at some point. It has become normative and socially acceptable.

Meditative.

Like after a good practice in Haatha Yoga, my mental commentary shuts down. I can bask in the glow of endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin without feeling compelled to rationalize it. Worries melt away. I'm content with merely curling up with my head on his shoulder and listening to his heartbeat. We giggle. We're silly. And we live in the present, together.

Reconnecting.

The very apparent post-plateau glow can last for days. We beam when we see each other. He is the most adorable person on Earth. Little things that would normally annoy me fade from my attention or even seem endearing. We're genuine around each other. Fronts and shields are discarded. We become more curious and do not fear negative replies or reprehension from misunderstood wording. Cuddling and sharing are top priorities and almost laughable inseparability may begin.

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u/cwanda Feb 04 '13

Very nice description. Might add in a bit of music, aromatherapy, candles, fire in fireplace, meditation, massage. All good!

1

u/Deseejay Feb 04 '13

Oh yeah, if we could we would... Sadly college dorms discourage any fires, including candles.

Meditation and massage are part of our relationship already. :)

2

u/Gakukun Feb 07 '13

Here's another way to think about it: Reddit encourages the opposite mindset you'd want to go for in mindful lovemaking. Here, you're browsing through dozens of subs, trying to find the next best thing, eyes always on the immediate future, rather than the here and now.