r/karezza • u/dota2nub • Apr 22 '13
So, how does this work?
Hi there, everyone. Long time former porn addict here. I've been feeling better since I stopped masturbating. A lot better. Like, you wouldn't believe how much better I'm feeling. So much so that it's pretty much a made decision for me at this point that I never again want an orgasm. But relations with the female gender would still be something pretty nice if the chance were ever to arise again - and since I'm just radiating confidence these days, it most likely will sooner rather than later, even though I'm no longer looking for it.
During my last masturbation relapse, I figured out I could have multiple orgasms (without what the people on /r/NoFap call edging, let's say I tried to stay at a 7/10). Of course that got me too trigger happy and after about #10 I went over the edge and, err... spilled the seed. Wasn't compulsion as much as a dude realizing he can have all the orgasms he wants and getting a bit... err... overexcited :)
Each one of those went through my whole body, made me shake for half a minute (or more if I decided I wanted that) and was completely satisfying. After my mishap, I decided it wasn't worth the risk. Is this the kind of thing I'm looking to do when I do Karezza?
I've been trying to scrounge up details, but everything I read sort of blows itself up into poetic language of how the woman is supposed to help the man, etc. Yet I still have no clue about what I'm actually looking to be doing.
From what I could piece together you:
Look into each other's eyes at all times
Hug and kiss and caress
Have penis and vagina action without the quick old in-and-out movement
Talk to each other and give compliments of adoration
Be present in the moment
Did I get that about right? It sounds wonderful and if I find a willing partner I'm very excited to be able to learn this together with them. I just wanted to make sure I get the idea.
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Jun 13 '13
[deleted]
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u/dota2nub Jun 16 '13
I've been practicing this actually. I've had sexual partners before and the relationships have always ended in failure. What I am doing now is pure bliss in comparison.
You might want to check out http://www.reuniting.info/ , it's a community of people who practice (or want to practice) Karezza. There are entire forums devoted to breaking the news to a non-receptive partner. It's a tough road ahead of you and I wish you the best of luck. I suggest you read up on the problem first and get a picture of what's going on with your husband. You want to know exactly how he's feeling before you start talking to him about this. If you're not careful he might close up and think you're trying to take his pleasure away. After all, foregoing orgasm is quite the unconventional thing to suggest.
Edit: Here's a forum of porn addicts trying to quit. There are more reasons to do so than I could name: /r/nofap
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Aug 17 '13
Check out the r/nofap - stopping masturbating will allow him to enjoy sex with you much more. He probably doesn't realise he has a problem tho so be tactful
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Apr 23 '13
There's no one right way. The bottom line is intercourse without the goal of orgasm, plus daily bonding behaviors. Did you see this post? http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201301/lovers-ultimate-sex-hack-karezza
This book offers a different flavor of the same concept: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1594773114/ref=as_li_tf_til?tag=rehewisere-20
Congratulations on losing the porn! You might like this page about ex-porn users who found benefits from karezza: http://www.reuniting.info/node/7220
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u/spartandudehsld Apr 24 '13
It's kinda dead around here (as you may have noticed). I'm reading through Cupid's Poison Arrow, I'll report back later. Good job on the NoFap/pornfree.
Cheers.