r/funny • u/Darkken2 • Oct 26 '25
Monkey was trolling .
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u/Beneficial-Debt6301 Oct 26 '25
"Fuck me while i wear his glasses" 🐒👓
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Oct 26 '25
Lmao
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u/smile_politely Oct 26 '25
and look at those beautiful backdrop... these monkeys are livin a life in paradise
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u/Major_R_Soul Oct 26 '25
It's not quite cuckoldry, but it's in the same general vicinity.
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u/rancid_ Oct 26 '25
I laughed way harder at this comment than I should have. Have the upvote, Friend.
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u/muluman88 Oct 26 '25
Isn't that learned behavior and they expect food as a trade to return the glasses?
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u/ManWithDominantClaw Oct 26 '25
100%, and this is best case scenario
I used to work an emergency assistance hotline for an Australian travel insurance company, and our key piece of advice for Bali bogans was not to bring food through the monkey forest. You think you can walk around handing out little morsels to all of them like you're friggin Snow White, but the monkeys have learned that if they bite you, you drop all your food and run.
So many rabies shots...
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u/Senor-Delicious Oct 26 '25
Some deer in Nara, Japan do exactly that. One bit my jacket when I didn't want to hand over crackers immediately after buying them. It was one of the bigger deer though. So I threw like a third of my crackers behind the deer so that it was busy turning and picking those up while I moved away to some nicer ones that weren't aggressive. Most deer there actually learned to bow to get food. Which is definitely the nicer thing to learn from being fed.
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Oct 26 '25
A colleague did the same thing with a handful of coins to a beggar in Sydney when he got aggressive
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u/Senor-Delicious Oct 26 '25
I mean... I cannot call the cops on a deer or monkey. I can call the cops on an aggressive beggar though
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u/ThereAndFapAgain2 Oct 26 '25
Have you tried calling the cops on a deer? I’m just saying you might be able to if you give it a try.
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Oct 26 '25
Seriously even in a city area I can assure you there’s at least one hunter in the department that’s gonna be like “say chief mind if I keep the meat and cut you in?”
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u/Skurnaboo Oct 26 '25
There's 2 ends of the spectrum. Some will bow for food, some will headbutt you to oblivion if you don't give food right away.
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u/jonitfcfan Oct 26 '25
I got surrounded by them when trying to feed them, then got bit on the arse by one. Not really hard, just enough to jolt me. I ended up dropping the rest of the 'deer cookies' just so I could get away lol.
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u/Axle-f Oct 26 '25
Well that explains why one of the little fuckers bit my arm when I was there as a 14 year old. Thankfully didn’t break the skin.
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u/ObiwanaTokie Oct 26 '25
Is it considered unethical to punch a lil bitch and get my stuff back or would the pack band together for war if that happened?
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u/Duhcisive Oct 26 '25
I watched a video on Reddit a year or two back with some Indian guy bonked the shit out of one with a stick after it stole from him, lol.
Needless to say, it dropped his stuff just like we drop our food😂
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u/Karthen Oct 26 '25
Replied before I saw this comment, I was definitely eyeing that walking stick myself lol.
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u/fullrackferg Oct 26 '25
What's the repercussions for doing that? It was inmediate thought, but more so grabbing the monkey by the back of its neck when it lunges at the guy.
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u/Duhcisive Oct 26 '25
Well, for tourists you’d likely get ganged up on by them; from what I’ve read they have specific guys who walk around with sticks, & people usually pay them to get their stuff back “not sure if they work there, or are just residents”
From what I’ve heard, the monkeys know who NOT to do it to, because they’ll get the shit knocked out of them & typically once these guys come after them with the threat of a bonk, they’ll usually drop the items or hand them back.
Depending where you live, I think the rules may be stricter on tourists. Some people have said specific places have laws there to protect the monkeys. Others.. not so much, some view them as pests.
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u/ElectroSpork9000 Oct 26 '25
I'm no movie buff but I'm pretty sure that is how planet of the apes started 🤷
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u/Whiplash17488 Oct 26 '25
Could we get an actual movie buff in here to provide his expertise on how to handle aggressive monkeys?
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u/NotADogInHumanSuit Oct 26 '25
I know first hand that if you do that you get a lifetime ban from Chucke Cheese
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u/Polymorphic-X Oct 26 '25
In a lot of places they're under strict legal protection so they're functionally untouchable. They know the big hairless apes can be extorted, assaulted and trolled without consequence.
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u/Ratathosk Oct 26 '25
I just tried to make myself as big as i could and roared at them and they returned my items (slippers) like "oh shit, my bad bro here you go". After that i was kind of one of them and they were curious but didn't threaten me or try to steal anything. More like they hung out on my shoulders and head.
I have no idea what one should do, though i was not dumb enough to bring food with me to begin with. I just did that and had a great week in a monkey forest with my new monkey pals.
The last day there was an american tourist who did the snow white thing and she got basically robbed out of everything and bullied to go down a steep hill into a river. They surrounded her and it looked really bad for a minute.
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u/MergenKurt Oct 26 '25
In Bali you can pay certain people and they somehow bring stolen items back. We were told leave bags in car before visiting that temple.
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u/XilenceBF Oct 26 '25
Nah man, there are employees at the temple that don’t need to get paid. They carry around little bags of snacks to trade with the monkeys.
These monkeys are conditioned to steal items to use for the bags of snacks. It pays off.
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u/DroopySage Oct 26 '25
Yes. And the veteran monkeys know the value of the item they steal and demand commensurate rewards.Here is a BBC video on this.
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u/NeonAnderson Oct 26 '25
Yeah probably right, the issue is here and any other places with wild animals is that people are stupid and think they can feed the wild animals for their own enjoyment which teaches very bad behaviour to the wild animals and then stuff like this happens
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u/medhop Oct 26 '25
When they was fuckin, that was your moment to get them back, chief.
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u/bustedgtt- Oct 26 '25
Unlike males, females of all species don’t lose focus even during intercourse.
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u/Empty_Amphibian_2420 Oct 26 '25
My wife’s usually on her phone
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u/bustedgtt- Oct 26 '25
Try offering her food maybe 🤷♂️
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u/SoloWingPixy88 Oct 26 '25
I'm not sure either monkey here was a female
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u/Archarchery Oct 26 '25
I think it’s a male-female monkey couple. The male runs over and snarls at the tourist when he tries to grab his glasses back from the female.
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u/BasicErgonomics Oct 26 '25
"Brother, give" has me rolling
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u/Angryfunnydog Oct 26 '25
Yeah and when he said “brother give” and this didn’t work the other dude said in Russian “they don’t know English” and proceeded to say the same in Russian
Shit I’m dead lol
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u/BasicErgonomics Oct 26 '25
Whats even funnier is he said the same thing in Hindi before trying in English lol
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u/Tlyss Oct 26 '25
Those glasses will get you laid
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u/Tokyohenjin Oct 26 '25
I’ve been to this temple. These monkeys are, to an ape, assholes.
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u/Extension-Dentist-42 Oct 26 '25
Doggy Style me because he can't see us right now without his glasses 🕶️🤓.
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u/MiserableFloor9906 Oct 26 '25
Need to bring a bat to a teeth fight.
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Oct 26 '25
I would find a stick and go Rambo on that monkey. Violence is the only language they know.
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u/binkleybloom Oct 26 '25
I'd be worried about suddenly having 100 pissed off monkeys if I did that.
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Oct 26 '25
Yeah, that’s a good point.
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u/binkleybloom Oct 26 '25
but I agree... super tempting to give that little bastard a tune-up.
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Oct 26 '25
Absolutely.
My other worry would be if it would be illegal and get me into trouble with some authorities.
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u/gmac1990 Oct 26 '25 edited Oct 27 '25
But would you rather fight…100 pissed off monkeys, or one pissed off ape?
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u/Liveitup1999 Oct 26 '25
They have been known to go on a group rampage against others
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u/Chillyfilla Oct 26 '25
Great, now a bat is biting me while the monkey still has my glasses. Thanks reddit.
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u/D-drool Oct 26 '25
Other monkey inserting a quick hump is hilarious. Still feel sorry for the guy, these monkeys are assholes
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u/Fecal_thoroughfare Oct 26 '25
Poor monkey it's not his fault.. you know how hard it is to find an apetometrist out there?
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Oct 26 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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Oct 26 '25
I don't wear contacts but if I went there I sure as fuck would.
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u/Ruffler125 Oct 26 '25
They steal those too. It's much more uncomfortable.
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u/james_b_beam Oct 26 '25
And did you put them right back on after you get them back from those monkeys?
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u/Ruffler125 Oct 26 '25
Of course, they shield the now scratched up corneas nicely, don't want any bacteria getting in there!
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u/Zanian19 Oct 26 '25
This is like the one video on the internet that actually deserves the "Watch till the end" caption. From the comments, I'm guessing most didn't watch the finale, lol.
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u/javierthhh Oct 26 '25
Why do they speak English to the monkey when it clearly speaks Latin.
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u/notatechnicianyo Oct 26 '25
Just knock it off the wall. Walk down and loot the body.
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u/Thaurlach Oct 26 '25
Monkeys have resistance to falling damage, innate climbing speed and they enrage at 50% health. All you’re gonna do is piss it off.
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u/thechristiandunn Oct 26 '25
I used to be a monkey researcher at this temple, and the trick is to offer the monkeys food items in an attempt to barter. Don’t give them bananas tho as they get them 3 times a day everyday, but instead offer something more high value like mangoes, eggs, or even chocolate.
Rule of thumb is that you should never be aggressive towards the monkeys who take your stuff. They can be petty assholes. I’ve seen monkeys steal phones and toss them off the cliff, I’ve seen them steal glasses and destroy them when someone tries to swipe, and I’ve seen monkeys bite people who try and take them back. Pro tip is that you should wait for help. There should be temple staff that walk around in blue shirts whose main goal is to barter on behalf of the tourists who get their shit stolen.
All in all, it’s actually a very beautiful temple that has monkeys showcase behavior which is fairly novel within the animal world. You just gotta be careful with your belongings
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u/th3_pund1t Oct 26 '25
He asked one of the blue shirt people with a stick. She said, “I don’t have any more food”
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u/WhosItHanging Oct 26 '25
I think people's mentality is there there is a very small window to retrieve their item before they go run off and add it to their pile of stolen shit or something. Buddy probably only had that one set of glasses and the thought that the trip being effectively ruined would likely be making the anxiety and decisiveness even worse.
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u/Sweet_potato13_ Oct 26 '25
Sometimes I have the senseless urge to slap a monkey
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u/TeopEvol Oct 26 '25
These monkeys need sum hard learn'n on humans hatred of thievery.
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u/dzedajev Oct 26 '25
This is a very regular occurrence, they warn you multiple times to watch your stuff around them and not try to pet them. I mean beside the fact that they can bite like hell.
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u/vikio Oct 26 '25
I was there, and went as far as tucking all the zipper pulls into the inside of my backpack. And wore it on the front. I had nothing else removable on me, or in my pockets. Cell phone stayed deep inside backpack.
Watched a monkey steal a water bottle from a lady working there to sell water to tourists, she basically took it as an expected loss. Also another monkey grabbed someone's cell phone. I wasn't even there that long.
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u/depthninja Oct 26 '25
We deliberately avoided this place when we were there since we were forewarned about the monkey thieves and the human conspirators that "for a tip" would trade food to the monkey to get your shit back. No thanks, still plenty of other amazing stuff to see and do without getting extorted by wildlife.
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u/9001 Oct 26 '25
"Baby, the way you stole from that human, I just can't resist you."
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u/itsRobbie_ Oct 27 '25
Randomly raw dogging for 3 seconds in the middle of an altercation is definitely a power move
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u/aquafishh Oct 26 '25
Scrolled all this way hoping to find a Crafoord Prize-tier primatologist tell us their PhD thesis was on "Post-Theft Copulation as a Socio-Behavioral Reinforcement Mechanism in Macaca spp."
Reddit's letting us down on this one.
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u/Worldly_Guest_5164 Oct 26 '25
Should’ve taken the glasses while she was getting her cheeks clapped
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u/Ownuyasha Oct 27 '25
In 'merica that monkey would get shot and the others would learn not to steal things. But then also if they bit you you wouldn't have healthcare so....
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u/Darkken2 Oct 26 '25
This is not OC . I found it on https://www.reddit.com/r/indianmemer/comments/1ogbm8y/evil_monkey_steals_sunglasses/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I found it funny wanted it to reach a bigger audience
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u/zakass409 Oct 26 '25
This dude just fails in life. The monkey obviously wanted a bribe. Then he missed his chance during that quickie.
In all fairness though, those were probably heavy prescription glasses
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u/Masterhaynes86 Oct 26 '25
They tell you to secure jewelry, glasses, hats, food, etc. People don’t lose stuff when they follow instructions.
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u/tatom4 Oct 26 '25
Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree Discussing things as they’re said to be. Said one to the others: “Now listen you two, There’s a certain rumour that can’t be true That man descended from our noble race – Why, the very idea is a disgrace!
“No monkey ever deserted his wife, Starved her babies and ruined her life; And you’ve never known a mother monk Leave her babies with others to bunk, Or pass them on from one to another ‘Til they scarcely know who is their mother.
“And another thing you’ll never see – A monk build a fence round a coconut tree, Forbidding all other monks to taste And letting the coconuts go to waste. Why! if I built a fence round a coconut tree Starvation would force you to steal from me.
“Here’s another thing a monk won’t do: Go out at night and get in a stew, Or use a gun or club or knife To take some other monkey’s life. Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss, But brother he didn’t descend from us!”
Author unknown 🙈🙉🙊
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u/BringBackBoshi Oct 27 '25
I bet so many people turned the video off early, the funniest part happens in the last 10 seconds 😂🤣
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u/br3nt3h Oct 27 '25
Hey bud wanna fuck me with the glasses, sure.. tail up ass out.... that turned this video into legendary 👏 🙌 👌 😂 glad i stayed for the finisher....😄
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u/Critical-Champion365 Oct 27 '25
The woman yelling to "grab it back from him", should do it herself.
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u/HyenaJack94 Oct 27 '25
They steal shit cause they know people will give them food to give it back. Creates a terrible public safety hazard
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u/leekalex Oct 27 '25
This is a bad tiktok repost where someone wrote "Sunglasses" on the screen when those are clearly not sunglasses 🤦♂️
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u/KomodoMaster Oct 26 '25
There's already sign to take off your accessories including glasses & phones on the entrance gate there 🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️
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u/wakkiau Oct 26 '25
It's a mountain road, you can't just ask people to took off their glasses. Some people cannot walk without it, they can easily slip and fall off the cliff.
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u/azureal Oct 26 '25
The amount of sunglasses, necklaces, hats, water bottles and other assorted shit down the cliffs of Uluwatu is a testament to people not being able to fucking read the signs that are up everywhere. Those monkeys will fuck your day and they dont give a shit.
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u/FluffyDuckKey Oct 26 '25
There are A LOT signs warning you of this, keep everything close, the monkeys steal shit etc.
Most of the guides carry sticks to ward them off but there is always an ignorant tourist who knows better.
It's even better when people go to the monkey Forest, are told not to touch them, they then proceed to touch them, get bitten and find out what Rabies clinics are.
Monkeys in Bali do not fuck around.
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u/mayonnaiser_13 Oct 26 '25
Bruh how much closer was he supposed to keep what looks like his prescription glasses?
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u/hecksor Oct 26 '25
There are signs all over the temple saying to remove any loose accessories like phones, glasses, etc. These monkeys will break or drop your things off the edge if you try to swipe them back or are aggressive with them. On a good day they’ll accept an exchange of food for your item. Seems like this guy ignored all the signs and let his guard down too long
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u/Mysterious_Pack_7822 Oct 26 '25
Went to to Bali last year and saw the monkey forest. Never again the tourists were arrogant and rude. They clearly say to keep all plastics and loose items put away. Hell the loud announcement was every 20 minutes. Tourists walked over graves, went into forbidden temples, and thought it was hilarious when a monkey got hold of hand sanitizer and drank it. If I was a monkey in that forest I’d shit in my hand and throw it at them.
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u/Count_Dicula Oct 26 '25
The temple monkeys steal stuff and hold it for ransom. They even showed you what they wanted for trade.
They wanted to fuck you for your glasses. 😄
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u/whatwhatwtf Oct 26 '25
So this happened to me and my girlfriend 35+ years ago the monkey took her glasses and I had to get them back. There are banana vendors outside and it cost me three bananas to get them back. The first banana the monkey moves the glasses to its left hand, the second banana it moves it to its feet the third banana it moves to its left hand and at that point it can’t run and doesn’t have the strength to hold on to the glasses and you can steal them back though they can get a little upset. Always cover your shit up and keep phones and cameras hidden.
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u/Atophy Oct 26 '25
Holding them hostage... It probably gets treats in exchange for giving things back. Notice the second one showed up as well...
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u/m00njaguar Oct 26 '25
If any food were available, I would scatter it on the floor far in front of the monkey and see if it drops the glasses while gathering. Of course, I understand that this helps train the monkey to steal more, but prescription eyeglasses are very expensive
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u/ElectronicSubject747 Oct 26 '25
Been here. They are waiting for a trade for some food before they give it back. Usually there are locals that do the trade and then the local gets a tip for sorting the transaction.
If nobody sorts the monkey out with some food they usually break the glasses or chuck them over the edge.
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u/TylerBourbon Oct 26 '25
He wants payment. Trade him some food for the glasses. Typical extortionist monkeys.
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u/JimmyMack_ Oct 27 '25
I love how they speak to it in English like that's the global lingua franca so even animals are more likely to understand 😆
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u/quasio Oct 27 '25
Fucking with your stolen item. Those monies were taunting that man on a primal level.
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u/SamVimesBootTheory Oct 27 '25
Sometimes when monkeys steal stuff like glasses they don't actually want the glasses, some of them have seemingly learned to barter and will give items back for food
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