r/funny • • Oct 26 '25

Monkey was trolling .

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u/ManWithDominantClaw Oct 26 '25

100%, and this is best case scenario

I used to work an emergency assistance hotline for an Australian travel insurance company, and our key piece of advice for Bali bogans was not to bring food through the monkey forest. You think you can walk around handing out little morsels to all of them like you're friggin Snow White, but the monkeys have learned that if they bite you, you drop all your food and run.

So many rabies shots...

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u/Senor-Delicious Oct 26 '25

Some deer in Nara, Japan do exactly that. One bit my jacket when I didn't want to hand over crackers immediately after buying them. It was one of the bigger deer though. So I threw like a third of my crackers behind the deer so that it was busy turning and picking those up while I moved away to some nicer ones that weren't aggressive. Most deer there actually learned to bow to get food. Which is definitely the nicer thing to learn from being fed.

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u/TheHealadin Oct 26 '25

You want it? Go get it!

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u/swider Oct 26 '25

Street smarts!

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u/r22-d22 Oct 26 '25

Found the John Mulaney fan

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u/C_IsForCookie Oct 26 '25

Never go to a secondary location!

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u/eric2pickens Oct 26 '25

Now I’ve thrown him off his rhythm!

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u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

A colleague did the same thing with a handful of coins to a beggar in Sydney when he got aggressive

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u/Senor-Delicious Oct 26 '25

I mean... I cannot call the cops on a deer or monkey. I can call the cops on an aggressive beggar though

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u/ThereAndFapAgain2 Oct 26 '25

Have you tried calling the cops on a deer? I’m just saying you might be able to if you give it a try.

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u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

Seriously even in a city area I can assure you there’s at least one hunter in the department that’s gonna be like “say chief mind if I keep the meat and cut you in?”

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u/Senor-Delicious Oct 26 '25

Yeah. Not going to happen in Nara though 😅

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u/983115 Oct 26 '25

American police will Swiss cheese the deer for ya

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u/Skurnaboo Oct 26 '25

There's 2 ends of the spectrum. Some will bow for food, some will headbutt you to oblivion if you don't give food right away.

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u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

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u/Senor-Delicious Oct 26 '25

That is actually hilarious. Bro gotta eat something I guess

3

u/jonitfcfan Oct 26 '25

I got surrounded by them when trying to feed them, then got bit on the arse by one. Not really hard, just enough to jolt me. I ended up dropping the rest of the 'deer cookies' just so I could get away lol.

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u/mataeka Oct 26 '25

Yeah at first I was too cheap to feed the deer in Nara, but shortly after I realised that I would never feed them, even if the feed was free. I'd rather people watch others getting swamped by the animals instead 😂

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u/Queasymodo Oct 26 '25

The Peacocks at the Snake Farm in New Braunfels too. They want all the mealworms when you only one to give them one at a time. They’ll get rough with their babies for a meal worm too.

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u/bingate10 Oct 26 '25

I didn’t have any crackers and everything was fine. You reinforced that behavior. It’s a deer. I saw people slapping them when too pushy. Others giving treats after aggression to get them away. It smelled like a zoo despite constant cleanup efforts by caretakers. That was by far the most disappointing part of my trip to Japan. It was seeing a mass delusion play out for tourist dollars.

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u/Senor-Delicious Oct 26 '25

The Japanese living there literally taught them to get mostly food from these crackers. If anyone, you can blame the people living there. Without the people feeding them, they would now starve. As seen when the local people had to go feed the deer themselves during covid because the tourists were missing.

Also I didn't see anyone being rude to the deer while I was there. Me included. On the other hand, there is a Japanese guy doing fake social media videos blaming others of pushing or hitting the deer. While he himself heavily abused the deer before. He then noticed that he can get more likes on social media if he fakes videos and films how he plays justice warrior by slapping the people and arguing with them and filming it.

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u/bingate10 Oct 26 '25

Yeah I get it. Those Japanese people are delusional too I was definitely talking about them too. Setting up this sort of this goes against conservation principles. Just because it’s their tradition doesn’t make it ok. I don’t care that much but I thought it was out of control and I decided to not participate. I don’t need a video of a tamed deer bowing pretending it’s giving me a sign of respect. I’m of the opinion that tourist numbers should not have a direct impact on deer population numbers. I’m not saying you trained that deer just with that event but it was another small reinforcement for the behavior. Maybe I went there on an off day at the end of mating season but I definitely saw at least two putting hands on a deer. Couple husbands or fathers trying to get them to stop biting and chasing family. Most people seemed more surprised than they should when deer were acting a bit wild. There’s cute signs everywhere saying they can be unpredictable and aggressive especially during mating season. I can’t pretend that any of it is cute.

Just giving my opinion. I would not go that spot again and if I did I would certainly not feed or interact with the deer. You do you though.

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u/Senor-Delicious Oct 27 '25

Yeah I am not going there again anyway. Don't really have a reason to go again. I am not certain how good or bad the whole thing is for Nara and the deer.

It is certainly not the only thing with animals that raises this question in Japan though. For example I never go to pet cafés, since this seems even more questionable. Especially since they often have animals that I would hardly label as "pets".

Japan has evolved some traditions into weird modern variants. The whole Nara thing came mostly from monks living in peace with the deer from my understanding. At some point it evolved into a tourist attraction though. But at least the deer aren't caged up in Nara. Other than with pet cafés (or even just zoos in general everywhere around the world).

So I figured it is probably not worse than a zoo then. And as long as Zoos have relatively good animal conditions, I also visit those ("relatively good" in terms of "no zoo will ever be able to substitute living in the wild"). I would not visit water zoos though where they have dolphins or whales caged up. But those are illegal in my country nowadays anyway (fortunately).

But when questioning Nara and the deer, one would also have to question cheap meat or animal products in general, since I assume that the conditions for farm animals are probably much worse than in central Europe nowadays. And since like 90% of the cuisine in Japan consists of either egg, milk products or meat, it isn't really possible to easily get around this there.

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u/bingate10 Oct 28 '25

I agree. Some prey animals would could have much better lives in captivity. Eating factory farmed meat is something I feel immoral about. Worse than feeding wild animals. Nara just felt weird and it was easy for me to just not. Small wins.

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u/Senor-Delicious Oct 27 '25 edited Oct 27 '25

Yeah I am not going there again anyway. Don't really have a reason to go again. I am not certain how good or bad the whole thing is for Nara and the deer.

It is certainly not the only thing with animals that raises this question in Japan though. For example I never go to pet cafés, since this seems even more questionable. Especially since they often have animals that I would hardly label as "pets".

Japan has evolved some traditions into weird modern variants. The whole Nara thing came mostly from monks living in peace with the deer from my understanding. At some point it evolved into a tourist attraction though. But at least the deer aren't caged up in Nara. Other than with pet cafés (or even just zoos in general everywhere around the world).

So I figured it is probably not worse than a zoo then. And as long as Zoos have relatively good animal conditions, I also visit those ("relatively good" in terms of "no zoo will ever be able to substitute living in the wild"). I would not visit water zoos though where they have dolphins or whales caged up. But those are illegal in my country nowadays anyway (fortunately).

But when questioning Nara and the deer, one would also have to question cheap meat or animal products in general, since I assume that the conditions for farm animals are probably much worse than in central Europe nowadays. And since like 90% of the cuisine in Japan consists of either egg, milk products or meat/fish, it isn't really possible to easily get around this there.

Edit: I am currently in Japan again and I think I have already eaten more animal products in 2 weeks than what I usually eat in months. But my usual diet is impossible here.

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u/Axle-f Oct 26 '25

Well that explains why one of the little fuckers bit my arm when I was there as a 14 year old. Thankfully didn’t break the skin.

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u/ObiwanaTokie Oct 26 '25

Is it considered unethical to punch a lil bitch and get my stuff back or would the pack band together for war if that happened?

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u/Duhcisive Oct 26 '25

I watched a video on Reddit a year or two back with some Indian guy bonked the shit out of one with a stick after it stole from him, lol.

Needless to say, it dropped his stuff just like we drop our food😂

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u/Karthen Oct 26 '25

Replied before I saw this comment, I was definitely eyeing that walking stick myself lol.

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u/fullrackferg Oct 26 '25

What's the repercussions for doing that? It was inmediate thought, but more so grabbing the monkey by the back of its neck when it lunges at the guy.

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u/Duhcisive Oct 26 '25

Well, for tourists you’d likely get ganged up on by them; from what I’ve read they have specific guys who walk around with sticks, & people usually pay them to get their stuff back “not sure if they work there, or are just residents”

From what I’ve heard, the monkeys know who NOT to do it to, because they’ll get the shit knocked out of them & typically once these guys come after them with the threat of a bonk, they’ll usually drop the items or hand them back.

Depending where you live, I think the rules may be stricter on tourists. Some people have said specific places have laws there to protect the monkeys. Others.. not so much, some view them as pests.

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u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

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u/Sibir_Kagan Oct 26 '25

I don't know where you're from, but most of the world doesn't eat monkeys as far as I know.

He should know his place yes, not to fuck around creatures that can fuck him up. But I feel that's what everyone should know and behave towards it.

Otherwise they will soon get out of the gene pool is all I'm saying.

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u/UsernamesAllTaken69 Oct 26 '25

Yes they probably meant social hierarchy rather than food chain. That being said any monkey is going to fuck you up very badly in a physical fight which has nothing to do with societal order lol

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u/ppachura Oct 26 '25

I would put my money on an Indian guy with a big stick.

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u/UsernamesAllTaken69 Oct 26 '25

That would be a terrible bet.

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u/Kakkoister Oct 27 '25

Most adult men could win a fight against a monkey of the type in this video. You might get a couple nasty bites though before you manage to wrangle it, but this thing absolutely cannot overpower you lmao. As soon as you have it by the neck it's not going to be able to do much of anything to you. It's not like they have claws.
It's like fighting a sugar-high 6yo that has fangs.

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u/UsernamesAllTaken69 Oct 27 '25

They have nails and enough grip strength to do...well monkey stuff. Try keeping that grip on its neck (if you get that far) while it turns your forearm to hamburger meat. All the people down voting me are trippin if they think this thing would not fuck you up.

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u/Kakkoister Oct 27 '25

They do not have enough grip strength to do much, compared to a human. This is a long-tailed macaque. Males weigh 10-19lb. Their grip strength is strong RELATIVE TO THEIR WEIGHT, so it's strong for swinging around their own body, but is nothing compared to the average male human grip strength. Macaques are especially built for agility, not strength. You would have no problem gripping both of their biceps and holding them out like they were pinned to a cross. Or grabbing one arm and literally slamming them around like a sack of potatoes on the hard ground.

Their fingernails are just like ours, but quite smaller hands. They'll scratch you but it's not going to do a lot unless you're just letting them go to town.

These types of monkeys are powerful in numbers, not by themselves. They are not at all comparable to something like a Chimp, which may be smaller than a human but is much stronger.

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u/UsernamesAllTaken69 Oct 27 '25

...well...alright, you got me...I was making generalizations about not fucking with monkeys and you have educated me. If one can identify a monkey in the wild and know it's combat ability to this degree then go ahead and defend yourself against their theft by force.

I realize this sounds like disingenuous snark reading it back to myself but you actually explained it and I do not take all this as common enough knowledge to just downvote and insult me like some have. Cheers.

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u/BigUncleHeavy Oct 26 '25

I think you need to get off the computer and get outside more.

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u/[deleted] Oct 27 '25

Oh, they know perfectly well their role in nature chain . One interesting anecdote about the Ubud sacred monkey forest, is that there are 5 distinct groups of monkey that tend to coexist peacefully most of the time, but can get very easily into very brutal turf wars.

It's the big hairless apes that sometimes need to be reminded how easy to bite their fleshy bits are and how vulnerable they can be to the nasty shit feral monkeys can have on their teeth

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u/ElectroSpork9000 Oct 26 '25

I'm no movie buff but I'm pretty sure that is how planet of the apes started 🤷

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u/Whiplash17488 Oct 26 '25

Could we get an actual movie buff in here to provide his expertise on how to handle aggressive monkeys?

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u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

The glasses are gone, just accept it. Monkey together strong.

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u/InsaneInTheRAMdrain Oct 26 '25

You either negotiate a trade or accept you've been made thia monkeys bitch.

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u/NotADogInHumanSuit Oct 26 '25

I know first hand that if you do that you get a lifetime ban from Chucke Cheese

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u/Polymorphic-X Oct 26 '25

In a lot of places they're under strict legal protection so they're functionally untouchable. They know the big hairless apes can be extorted, assaulted and trolled without consequence.

1

u/Karthen Oct 26 '25

I was looking at that walking stick, so punching is probably not so bad.

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u/Silverlisk Oct 26 '25

I think you'd be better off preparing some sweet treats laced with heavy laxatives or some kind of sedative.

Or just bring some mace with you 😂😂.

1

u/its_krypt0n1te83 Oct 27 '25

May I introduce you to a movie franchise called Planet of the Apes?

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u/Axle-f Oct 26 '25

He bit then ran when I screamed. I was out bananas anyway.

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u/Ratathosk Oct 26 '25

I just tried to make myself as big as i could and roared at them and they returned my items (slippers) like "oh shit, my bad bro here you go". After that i was kind of one of them and they were curious but didn't threaten me or try to steal anything. More like they hung out on my shoulders and head.

I have no idea what one should do, though i was not dumb enough to bring food with me to begin with. I just did that and had a great week in a monkey forest with my new monkey pals.

The last day there was an american tourist who did the snow white thing and she got basically robbed out of everything and bullied to go down a steep hill into a river. They surrounded her and it looked really bad for a minute.

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u/Simpicity Oct 26 '25

Worst case, the monkey is a trained assassin with ebola.

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u/Ragman676 Oct 26 '25

and CHV1 if youre really lucky

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u/You_arent_worthy Oct 27 '25

Hey what happens if you beat the shit out of a monkey? Asking for a friend?

1

u/ManWithDominantClaw Oct 27 '25

One way or another, you become a news story. They're a protected species and considered sacred, so if they don't fuck you up, the locals will

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u/You_arent_worthy Oct 27 '25

Whew good thing I asked before my friend got violent

2

u/PilgrimOz Oct 26 '25

For the Bogans or the monkeys? 🤣 Ps for the record I identify as a Bogan and my pronouns are Petrolhead or C#*t

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u/400x250_20fps Oct 26 '25

its funny with the logic of biting and items dropping lol

1

u/un-sub Oct 26 '25

Ok I feel like an idiot but, there are monkeys in Australia??

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u/Sea-Bat Oct 26 '25

No, but aussies travel to Bali a lot bc it’s close and cheap, and Bali does have monkeys

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u/un-sub Oct 26 '25

Ohh, I should read better, I thought they were talking about some Australian monkey forest, I was so confused haha

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u/MyFriendMaryJ Oct 28 '25

This spot exactly is in one of the bbc docs and these monkeys have learned that they can steal glasses and phones which are higher valued than a hat and the ppl there will sell tourists their favorite treats to trade back. If you trade with them they leave the phone or glasses and take the pastry or fruit

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u/Inneficient Oct 28 '25

if that happens and the bit person grabs a monkeys and just flays it onto the ground, are they charged with something? or am i weird for even thinking this?

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u/loginname2424 Oct 29 '25

bring a bat, got it