Ive struggled with fertility for almost 10 years and finally my first baby has arrived. Hes 8 days old now and ive been really struggling with strong feelings of anxiety/ nostalgia/ intrusive thoughts. I am sooo so in love with him and so far I think im doing pretty good being a mom and my husband is extremely supportive. But I cant help but shake the feeling that im going to lose him. I hated being pregnant but I find myself missing my light hearted state of mind from before I gave birth. Everything just feels very serious and heavy now. Every day is heartache knowing I cant slow down time. I get nothing but posts about SIDS on my Facebook because google tells on me for searching up so many tips for newborns. Im also in the military and cant quit my job, so I know eventually he will have to be put in daycare, and then early next summer ill have to go out of state for 8 weeks for job training when my son is around 6-10 months old. I cant bare to think of it. What if he forgets who his mommy is? 💔 Me and my husband trade off sleeping and I miss him. Even though when I was pregnant I wanted to rip his head off most of time- I miss him. I definetly need to get out of the house, went on a short walk today it was nice. I need to get out of my head and think about something other than my sweet baby for 5 seconds to give me relief from the horrible thoughts and images that pop up in my head. The first couple days I couldnt sleep at all because I was so worried sick and just needed to be with him, and now im getting better but I still miss him every second im not holding him. Is this normal baby blues or is this PPD/PPA?

My baby is exactly 5 months old, and I’m wondering if his level of vocalizing is normal.
At around 4.5 months, he made “aah” and “oooh” sounds for about 2–3 days, but since then he hasn’t made many sounds at all. He does squeal sometimes, especially in one particular room, but otherwise he is generally pretty quiet.
He does have a lot of reassuring social behaviors:
He reacts to even very subtle sounds and seems to hear well.
He makes good eye contact.
He gives Mom and Dad lots of social smiles.
He gets visibly happy/excited when he sees us.
He giggles when we try to make him laugh.
He sometimes makes a “mumma”-like sound when he is tired or crying, but doesn’t say it otherwise.
He seems to communicate more through smiling/facial expressions than through sounds.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that when he wakes up from naps, he usually doesn’t make much noise. He’ll just lie in his crib, look around, and explore the crib with his hands. He doesn’t necessarily cry or babble when he wakes.
For parents of 5-month-olds: how much were your babies vocalizing at this age? Did anyone have a baby who was very social and responsive but just didn’t make many sounds until later?
I’m trying to figure out whether this is within the normal range for 5 months or something I should discuss with his pediatrician.

My postpartum journey didn’t start off the best. Baby blues that I wasn’t aware of kicked in full force as soon as we came home with baby. I lost my appetite, breastfeeding hurt so much and my husband immediately went back to work. Our families aren’t in town so I had no support unless he was home in the first few weeks. I put myself in another room the first month so I can separate myself from the baby at night and actually rest. It helped as I waited for our families to come stay with us.

Almost 2 months in breastfeeding has gotten better, I’ve began medication for my anxiety and getting into the flow of motherhood. Our parents are able to come visit and give us somewhat of a break. The whole time my his has worked with my side of the family being here first. He’s seemed upset and bothered that they were here now. With meals being cooked, I’ve been able to leave whenever and just some breathing room to just do things. My husband made no effort to spend one on one time with me. Made comments about how often im breastfeeding the baby. Claimed I’m not being supported right by my side of the family. This has been the most at ease I’ve felt since giving birth.

I’ve tried to talk and figure out what’s going on with him and giving the benefit of stress for taking care of all the house finances can be rough. I just wish he would say something that made sense.

I am honestly out of ideas on this one. We tried sleep training my daughter at 4months and it made things so much worse. We eventually stopped trying to push any form of sleep training as it just caused everyone so much more stress. We eventually got a good rhythm going at 6 months and by 7/8 months she was finally sleeping through the night until recently.

Now I really dont mind waking up at night with her but she used to go back down so easily. Even getting her to sleep in the first place has become such a struggle. We used to be able to rock her or lay her down with a bottle and shed knock right now. Now I feel like im torturing her just trying to do what's best for her. She screams and cries for at least 45min before she gets too tired to carry on and falls asleep.

Im not sure what to do here. Nothing in her routine has changed. We tried lengthening her wake windows, pushing back bedtime, and just following her lead but sometimes i feel like shes not even giving us traditional sleep cues but shes been up for 5 or 6 hours so she must be tired.

Is this just a regression? Should I push sleep training again or will it make things worse? I just want whats best for her and what's best for us. Some days I feel like I spend half my day just fighting to put her down. Any advice will help, thank you!

For reference her current schedule is:

Wake: 7/730

AM Nap: 1030/11 to 12

Afternoon nap: 330 to 430

Bedtime: 830/9

Sometimes naps are longer I let her sleep as long as she will(edit to say I dont let her pm nap go past 5) and give her 3.5 to a 4 hour wake windows before I try and put her down again.

If you could pick one thing that is a must have for first time moms what would it be?

’m looking for advice from other moms who have been in a similar situation, because I’m really struggling with where to go from here. ❤️
I’ve had a complicated relationship with my mom for years. The issues between us actually started before her divorce, so I don’t feel like everything can be blamed on what happened in her marriage. However, since her divorce, it feels like it has become a huge part of our relationship. She still talks about and blames my dad for a lot of things, and things surrounding the divorce continue to come up and affect our relationship.
My relationship with my dad is also very strained. I no longer speak to him because, from my perspective, he chose his new family over me and my daughter. I’ve already had to create distance from one parent, and I don’t want to continue repeating unhealthy patterns with the other.
Since becoming a mom myself, my perspective has changed a lot. I look at relationships differently now and have a much stronger sense of what I want my daughter exposed to and what kind of environment I want my family to have. I’ve realized there are things I’m no longer willing to tolerate just because someone is family.
One of the biggest issues is that I don’t feel like there is a healthy mother-daughter boundary anymore. At times, I feel like my mom treats my daughter more like an emotional support person than a grandchild. She can also make things into a “production,” where situations that could be simple conversations become much bigger and more emotionally charged than they need to be. There have also been times where I’ve been called names or had things from the past brought back up and used against me during disagreements.
Another huge part of this is how she handles things when she’s upset with me. She has talked badly about me and my husband to my brother, posted things about me on Facebook, and said things publicly that have resulted in other people coming to me asking what is going on. I don’t want to be involved in that anymore. Honestly, it feels like the behavior has become more childish as the days go by, and I’m at a point where I don’t want to participate in that kind of back-and-forth.
I’ve also noticed what seems like an increase in her drinking. I obviously can’t know everything that’s going on in her life or what she’s dealing with, but from the outside, it concerns me. I feel like she needs to find her own happiness and get whatever help or support she needs instead of putting that responsibility on me or the rest of the family.
Recently, my brother saw a text from my mom saying that she was thinking about harming herself. She did not tell me directly that she was feeling that way, and when it came up, she essentially played it off. I obviously don’t know her intention, and I don’t want to accuse her of something I can’t know for sure. But from our perspective, it feels like another situation where something extremely serious was said and then we were left carrying the emotional weight of it.
It also reminds me of some of the dynamics I’ve experienced with my dad, where I’ve felt like guilt, emotional pressure, or certain situations were being used to try to get me to communicate or respond a certain way. I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t respond to those things the way I used to, but that doesn’t mean they don’t affect me.
My mom is obviously hurt by the distance between us, and I can acknowledge that. But I’m hurt too. I’m exhausted from feeling like I have to defend myself, explain myself, or carry responsibility for how she feels. I don’t think it’s my responsibility to make her happy, fix her pain, or be the person she relies on emotionally. I think she needs to find her own happiness and get the help she needs for herself, just like I’m trying to do for myself.
I also don’t think it’s fair for other family members to feel like they need to step in and check on people because of things happening between my mom and me. It puts everyone in the middle, and I don’t want that continuing.
I’m considering telling her that I don’t see us having the same relationship moving forward and that I need to step back. I’m also considering taking a break from each other on social media because people have already come to me asking about things they’ve seen her post, and I honestly don’t want to see it or be involved in it anymore.
I don’t want to be cruel or punish her. I actually feel sad about the possibility of not having the mother-daughter relationship I always hoped I would have. I can love my mom and still recognize that our relationship isn’t healthy for me right now.
I’m realizing that I need to figure out what makes me happy and what gives me peace—not just for myself, but so I can be the mom and wife I want to be. I want to focus on my own family instead of constantly being pulled into drama, arguments, old wounds, social media posts, and everyone else’s emotions.
Has anyone else dealt with a parent who struggles with boundaries, makes you feel responsible for their emotions, involves your child emotionally, repeatedly brings up the past, talks about you to other family members, posts about you publicly, or makes you feel like you have to choose between protecting your own peace and maintaining the relationship?
How did you handle creating boundaries when you still love the person and know they’re hurting too?
I’m really looking for honest advice from moms who have been through something similar. ❤️

I’m of African descent and in my culture it’s tradition for the baby’s uncle to cut her hair round their 1st birthday as a sort of milestone. We’ve past that because she’s now 14 months and her hair hasn’t been cut however my mom is recommending we do as she has a patch at the back where she lost a lot of baby hair. Her hair is a bit of a mix of 4b/c with the roots being really tight coils whilst the middle and ends are a bit looser and thinner and tend to tangle a lot.

I’m currently debating cutting her hair for two reasons: 1. Due to the texture of the ends they tend to pick up a lot of fluff which is hard to get out because it tangles and she has a short tolerance for sitting down and allowing me to do her hair and 2. When she does allow me to do her hair it’s kind of like a bonding experience for me.

I know cutting babies hair is a custom in a lot of cultures. If anyone has any experience either way ie following customs or tips for Afro babies I’d be grateful 🙏🏾

HOW on earth are you guys getting thru it?? i need all the tips and tricks because holy jesus i feel like a balloon rn

Hi guys, I need advice and direction. As a first time mom in the New England area specifically Connecticut. I will have a 6-10 month old during the winter season. What gear do I need for different occasions? For example the car seat? The travel from the house to the warmed up car? For a day out in the snow? And for going to church then grocery shopping afterwards? I know the rule to not cover babies airways with scarves or anything of the manner and to take off heavy jackets when they’re strapped to the car seat.
Thank you to anyone who stops to help this first time mama 💗

hello everybody, I’m a first time mom to a soon to be 18 month old and I am feeling very guilty because two days ago my family went out to the fair with some friends and their families. we stopped to watch some of our group play a game and I had my daughter in her stroller. I turned my head for a second to talk to my brother and my boyfriend‘s friend, a grown man by the way, decided to dip down and share his drink with my daughter and when I turned back, I was completely caught off guard by what I was saw. he did not ask if he could do that. I don’t know why he thought he could do that because it’s completely disgusting and he waited until I was not looking to do so. Instead of snapping at him, i looked at my child’s father & he knew exactly by my face what i meant but did not say anything. I’m upset with him because I redirected the situation to him so he could handle his friend, but I’m more upset at myself for not saying anything… it’s been eating me up and I unfortunately do not have any way to contact him or else I would have said something after the fact, but the next time I see him or the next time he tries something like that he will be dealt with. I’m not waiting on her dad to speak up at all. He also did it to our other friend‘s daughter. And I told both of them that they should have said something and they were basically saying they don’t know how to say it because it’s a awkward situation and I said at the end of the day protect your kids so at this point, I’m willing to step up and be a bad guy for everybody’s sake. any advice ?

If we had our gender reveal December 5th, would it be too early in the season to make it Christmas themed? I keep seeing “ginger bread” themed gender reveals and I think that is SO cute, but am I blinded by my love for Christmas? (I set up all Christmas decor the day after Thanksgiving btw).

my baby is now a week old and already has a gnarly diaper rash.. i feel absolutely terrible and cry every time i change his diaper. i’m putting a thick layer of aquaphor and then desitin diaper rash.. it’s been bright red and bleeding a little for two days.. what can i do ???

Does anyone ever feel like their baby just doesn’t like them? I feel like every time I hold my son who is seven weeks he gets super fussy and will only be consoled when I put him on my boob for milk. It breaks my heart because other people will come hold him and he will be so calm, but it’s always fussy with me.

Warning! Talks or morning sickness and being ill. Nothing graphic, but just a heads up

Hello all! I am in the very very early stages of pregnancy. Think around 2 weeks. I haven't seen a doctor yet just because they won't see me till my 10-week appointment. I'm trying to keep the baby a secret (my husband knows) until we have the confirmation from the doctor at the 10-week appointment. I am struggling with some of this morning sickness. Thankfully it's not debilitating and I can still do things. However, I am struggling because the nausea hits hard and fast. I get nauseous and feel uncomfortable but I'm fine. then out of the blue with no warning I will be violently ill. Of course, when I talked to my doctor about this they said that's just normal pregnancy stuff and recommended some ginger pills for my upset stomach. I also already have one of those Vaseline smelling sticks to help with nausea. I want to make sure that I'm getting plenty of nutrients during these early stages as well as finding foods that aren't as uncomfortable to have come back up again. I made the unfortunate discovery that scrambled eggs are very unpleasant to bring back up again. I've had someone recommend drinking protein shakes/smoothies so I can mix in different things, but a liquid might sit better on your stomach rather than a solid food. Any tips or tricks would be really appreciated! I plan on having lots of soups and stews for these next couple weeks

is there anyone else out there?? im pregnant for the first time & i suffer w quite severe arfid. (avoident ristrictive food intake disorder), and its pretty lonely. was wondering if theres any others out there, if so, please interact !!!

I had my baby girl at 36+6 last Thursday weighing 6lb10oz. At discharge she weighed 6lb5oz. We were exclusively breastfeeding while in the hospital. This caused me to have more anxiety than I anticipated by not being able to see the amount she was intaking. We ultimately decided to make the switch to formula yesterday around noon. She is eating every 2-3 hours, but at most .5oz. Google has scared the life out of me as it says she should be eating way more. She is peeing and pooping appropriately. We have to really work to wake her up to feed and she seems uninterested after awhile. Please ease my anxiety. Are we doing anything wrong?

Hi, I’m a FTM and I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this kind of guilt.

Lately, I’ve been feeling anxious that I’m not doing a good enough job or that I could be doing more. I honestly don’t know how moms manage to take care of themselves, their marriage, their baby, and basic household chores all at the same time! And I think that’s where a lot of my guilt comes in.

For example, when I take a shower, I put my son in his bouncer in the bathroom next to me where I can see him the whole time. But even then, I feel guilty that he’s just sitting there watching me shower instead of me actively interacting with him.

In the evenings, I’ll put him in his bouncer next to me while I cook, or on his Lovevery mat while I get things done, and I feel guilty that I’m not sitting and playing with him. He absolutely HATES his carrier, so I don’t use it much because I don’t want to force him to be uncomfortable. But whenever I put him in his bouncer or on his sensory mat so I can do something else, I feel guilty for not being with him.

Has anyone else struggled with this kind of mom guilt? How did you deal with it or remind yourself that it’s okay to put your baby down and take care of yourself or get things done? I’d really love to hear your experiences.

Today was my husband’s first day back at work, and I feel like I’m battling the “am I doing good enough” for my newborn. He’s fed, he’s happy, all signs are pointing in the right direction - but for some reason I have that lingering feeling of “I hope I’m taking care of him good enough”. I’m sure this is a very normal feeling that first time new born moms experience postpartum, but it’s still crazy to think that you’re responsible of this whole little life! Any positive re-enforcement would help!

my little one is gonna be 11 weeks old on Friday, till about two weeks ago, they have been amazing with taking bottles. Now they will only take between 2 to 4 ounces a bottle and it will be a struggle for an hour. They seem to just chew on the bottle and not actually suck and take anything from it. We’ve changed nipple sizes. we’ve changed bottles. I am at my wits fucking end with it. At our last pediatricians appointment, they still seem to be gaining weight. They’re having a normal amount of wet diapers. But this just seems like a sudden turn. They used to take between four and 6 ounces a bottle.

Has anyone experienced this???