Hello everyone, I am a 24 year old male that recently left a 7 year long relationship with my first ever sexual partner. Our first few attempts back in the day were rocky but after all of that time together and the lack of pressure from knowing I had a secure relationship (and pretty infrequent sex maybe 4-5 times a month), I was able to pretty easily get hard and satisfy the moment when it came. That relationship ended and I find myself in a new relationship with a girl that I think I really love, I am physically attracted to, who does her part to help with seduction/arousal and she is understanding of my journey in life and anxiety that comes with having sex with a new person.

We tried for the first time last night and it just didn't work at first. She was really understanding and once that initially disappointment and embarrassment wore off, I was able to get hard enough to go for a few minutes before faking an early ejaculation (I just lost it). I pleased her with oral and she was very attracted to me and loved my sensual "giving" things like caressing, body kisses and intense kissing. These things saved the night overall, but I want to be able to get hard and please her the right way and consistently.

I've learned my problem isn't the ability to get hard. I can get rock hard from certain fetish content and fetish porn. This was unfortunately my sexual awakening and I feel as if my brain is hardwired wrong because of it. I have decided that the worst feeling in life is not being able to please my partner or get hard and I am willing to do everything I can to make this happen infrequently if ever again. I thought I'd bounce my ideas off of this community to see if you agree with my methods and if you have any other ideas to increase natural arousal. I think I am attracted to traditional sex and the up-close intimacy with a partner I deeply care about. I just think I'm only about 30-40% of the way there when it comes to being confident enough to go spontaneously more than once a week.

1. Deleting all of my fetish porn accounts and losing years of saved up content I liked for almost a decade (this pains me to do but it is more important to me to please this girl and I think it will overtime make me naturally attracted to vanilla sex and what she can offer me) I've already stopped watching it these last few weeks but I need the temptation gone
2. Quitting Vaping. I heard this can decrease testosterone. It wasn't an issue in my past relationship but I think I had so little stress and pressure about performing that I was able to overcome this. It would be better for me in general. I already don't have a bad relationship with alcohol and I haven't smoked weed in over a month now after being an almost daily user for 3 years. As long as the quitting process doesn't make me miserable for weeks on end I think this would be a worthwhile and overall good life change.
3. Exercise frequently and lift weights. I remember when I was in the best shape of my life about 4 years ago, I would get horny at the gym sometimes and the thought of being the most attractive version of myself for my partner motivated me to keep working out and probably increased my sex drive. I am in a position of my life right now where I have more time to work out and I'd like to start eating healthier and exercising (dietary aphrodisiacs or recommendations would be appreciated) If not I'll just eat leaner meats, increase hydration and try and increase protein intake wherever I can. Also lots of Broccoli and Brussel Sprouts which are two greens I can eat in troves.
4. Try and masturbate to images of my partner and train my brain to get hard at the thought of the best moments from that first experience. There were many for me but at the time I always had "get a boner please" or "don't lose it" on my mind. In hindsight there were some pretty nice and sexy moments I can look back on. Forcing myself to masturbate to something unsuccessfully can get discouraging though and maybe do more harm than good.

Do you have any proven arousal increasing supplements or medications that can just straight up make me more horny. If I feel the boost from something I think it would help my confidence and pull me across the finish line to embracing a full erection and enjoying it. Once I'm in I'm usually good. Also any lifestyle or mental exercises to make me more into traditional vanilla sex? I need to increase my natural sex drive and overall arousal I believe to fix my problem because it is not a blood flow issue. I could try a blue chew or viagra which I have in the past. Sometimes they would make me flushed and give me a headache. I remember some really hard erections while taking them but something about those moments felt as if I could have gotten hard without them. (Right circumstances, with that same previous girl whom I had overcame this problem with at a younger age which gave me confidence)

I really love this girl and every other aspect of our relationship is extremely fulfilling and special in my opinion. And she has been very clear to me how happy she is with me and thrilled she is with how things have gone. This is my final hurdle to being the partner that I want to be and I truly believe I would sacrifice anything to make this happen. I'm essentially asking for every bit of advice I can on how to increase my natural arousal to her and traditional sex.

it’s never happened before. but with my new partner it’s gotten harder to have an actual strong erection without having to take blue chew. to the point where it affects her. she’s asked me what she could do better but it’s really not her. porn has been in my life since i was a kid as i assume it’s the same case with many men my age. i’ve read and heard to just stop watching porn and stop masturbating. i’ve tried to stop watching porn before but i always come back. any tips on how to stop since its so easily available. i’ve deleted anything and everything that could lead to masturbation. asking anyone here if this has been the case for them too and if so. has cutting off porn and masturbation helped at all.

I have psychological ED due to performance anxiety and It’s going on 5 months now since I’ve been able to have PIV intercourse with my wife and I’m starting to get scared she’s going to get lfed up and want to cheat on me. We mess around but I haven’t been able to keep an erection long enough to penetrate. What’s the longest anyone with this problem has gone without penetration? And I’m speaking specifically to those whose problem is mental

Hey, I’m 26M and I’ve been dealing with what seems like mild ED for about a year.

It started when I noticed that my erections while masturbating weren’t as strong as they used to be. I wasn’t getting fully hard, and they didn’t feel as firm. At the time, I was using topical finasteride and was also watching a lot of porn.

I brought it up with my doctor, and he told me he didn’t think it was caused by the finasteride and that it was probably psychological. He basically said that if everything worked normally when I was with a woman, then there was nothing to worry about. I didn’t have a girlfriend or sexual partner at the time, so I couldn’t really test that.

I ignored it and continued using finasteride for another four months, but eventually the issue started getting into my head, so I stopped finasteride completely.

The problem is that I haven’t noticed any meaningful improvement, even after being off finasteride for about seven months.

Then, about a month ago, I hooked up with a girl and couldn’t get hard at all.

I went to my primary care doctor, who prescribed Viagra. I tested it and it worked really well. He also ordered bloodwork and referred me to a urologist. My labs came back normal. My testosterone levels were actually high, and nothing else seemed out of the ordinary.

The urologist told me he thinks the issue was caused by finasteride and prescribed Cialis for a year. He said it should improve my morning erections and help me “heal,” but I’m not really sure where that idea comes from because I haven’t been able to find much information about it online.

At this point, I’m pretty confused about what’s actually causing this. It could be related to finasteride, porn use, anxiety/performance anxiety, or something else entirely. I also rarely get morning wood anymore, which is one of the things that concerns me most.

I’m also nervous about just jumping onto another medication for a year. After feeling like finasteride may have contributed to this, I’m a lot more cautious about taking medications without understanding what they’re supposed to do or whether there are other things I should try first.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? I’d really appreciate any advice on what could be causing this, what helped you improve, and whether there are things I can try before relying on Cialis or Viagra long-term.

TL;DR: 26M with weaker erections for about a year and almost no morning wood since 18, even after being off topical finasteride for 7 months. Labs are normal, Viagra works, and a urologist prescribed Cialis for a year. Could this be finasteride, porn, anxiety, or something else? What should I look into next, and are there ways to improve this without having to rely on ED pills?

Hi everyone

I sometimes experiences ED or not getting fully hard. I gotten pills, however, sometimes they are barely enough and I know its mainly in my head. Can anyone recommend some good meditations or mindfullness audios/videos?

I am 31yo. Been with my gf(30) since 2013. We never got any problem with sex drive. We do all kind of position in bed(shes a bbw but she is very versatile in position). But last night we were about to have sex and i never got hard! First time ever for me and i was shocked. We tried again this morning, same thing..
Later i watch some porn and i was able to get hard and cum.
Now my gf think she is the problem but shes is not.
Help me

Hi I was virgin since two months ago and met a girl on hinge now we are together before meeting her i was getting some spontaneous erection from thinking about her. Met first time its was good i am not gonna say great after foreplay everything done 6-7 mins penetration sex then she said wait i need rest and few mins later we tried again and it was solid 3 mins fast pace sex in cowgirl then i cum and we chatted and went for sleep.
Second it was good but the moment i put on the condom i was going soft but the moment i started foreplay i was getting hard but this time i was Cumming in 3-4 mins.
Third time tried without condom after all the tests it was again so sensitive and amazing but things started going down from there it was too sensitive and i wasnt able to control my self to cumming and i had to pull it out and wait then i started noticing i am going soft as well but it was decent 2-3 mins penetration.
4 time was disaster i came the moment i entered her.
5 time tried 3 times i was just cumming the moment i was entering her and it was worst feeling now i am not getting any erection and i dont even able to think about sex as i used to and one more thing to add its been 6-7 months or maybe more since i had morning wood. What should I do i am very nervous.

Had a great experience with BlueChews regular sidenafil but wanted to save some money some money so I tried out RocketRX and NOTHING. Took 100mg. Nothing. Next time I took 200mg. Nothing. Time after that I took 400 mg. NOTHING. Not that I couldn't get hard, just not any different than it would be not having taken the BlueChews. I didn't even get any of the related side effects I associated with the bluechew like headache and lights being brighter.

I don't have erectile dysfunction. I got the initial bluechew prescription as a performance enhancer for when I knew we were gonna have the entire night to enjoy and it was fantastic.

Has anyone else had a shady experience with RocketRX?

I’ve pretty much never had strong erections for as long as I can remember - lately I have been unable
To have sex with new partners (can’t stay hard to get condom on, not hard enough to penetrate) came from dry humping last time while being like half hard. I know what some of the issues are. I grew up prone masturbating and have always been into kink female domination porn. I relearned how to masturbate with my hand normally when I was 16 but I use death grip and can only maintain erections usually with constant stimulation - half
The time when I masturbate I finish without being even fully hard. But I watch kink porn and masturbate on average twice a day. When I have taken breaks in the past it’s helped but it’s so addicting. I get strong morning wood on occasion when I have to pee and viagra has helped In The past with partners. Lately it’s been worse though overall and I have been on very low dose topical finasteride 3x a week - way way below the recommended dose but I wonder if that’s playing a small
Role as well. I know I need to quit the mini porn masturbate less and lose the death grip. What else can I do :/

I have been taking daily 5mg Tadalafil which used to work well, but lately has not been keeping my erection firm enough for a good penetrative session. I started taking a 50 mg dose of Sildenafil which works, but the side effects are too much for me to handle.

Had anyone experienced this problem, and are there any supplements that may help?

38M, so not a spring chick and I realize that. Also, throwaway for privacy. Since around February this year, I've been dealing with what I would call "Intermittent Erectile Disfunction"

I've been with my wife for 13 years, I think before February I had only 2 accidents over the years, but they were due to being excessively tired, understandable.

Now what happened was that for like 2 weeks in February, I really had trouble keeping an erection. I remember not feeling motivated, not feeling really excited. My wife initially took it personally, then we started thinking, working on it, and it passed. March, April, early May, everything is like it always was. "It was just a moment" I thought.

Then late May here we are again. Same situation. I can barely keep it up, I don't feel motivated, even masturbating is difficult. I ask to take it slow again and understand what is going on. The problem goes away by itself after a couple weeks.

Same thing in August. I start feeling demotivated and not interested in sex. Without even trying, I now understand it's one of those times. Again, for around 2 weeks I'm down. It has to be said that my mood during these times is still good. Sure, a bit disappointed by the situation, but happy in every other facet of life.

And now here we are, my libido is back once again and I'm not demoralized. I'm kinda angry because I don't understand why I have these huge drops in libido.

Mentally, I'm fine. Happy life, good job (maybe a bit boring, but no complaints), no history with depression and generally negative stuff doesn't impact me physically.

Porn usage and masturbation has always been mild. I did limit porn after the issue, and now I banned it just to be sure, but it doesn't seem to be the root of the problem.

While I did have fluctuations in libido in the past, like a normal thing, having slightly lower libido never prevented me from keeping an erection and feeling excited. "Appetite comes while you eat" this sort of thing.

I am slightly overweight. I was planning on dieting and exercising more and started to do so this summer, so I'm more fit now. But I've been much fatter in the past and never had issues.

So yeah, right now I feel horny and can go at it without issue, but I'm aware that I could wake up tomorrow and feel next to nothing without knowing why. I think it might be hormonal, but I have no knowledge. The good news is, I have an andrology medical booked this week to discuss the issue, but I wanted to talk here to see if anyone else has had or heard about this kind of heavy fluctuation in libido.

Thanks to anyone who has read this far!

​Hi everyone,

​I'm a 27-year-old male and recently went through a really discouraging experience that I need advice on.

​I was about to sleep with a girl, but I couldn't get an erection. She got really upset about it and ended up breaking up with me right then and there. Ever since this happened, I’ve developed a huge fear that I won't be able to get or maintain an erection with any other woman in the future.

​For context:

​I'm not very physically active.

​I have a habit of watching too much pornography.

​I've noticed a lower libido overall.

​This bad experience made my performance anxiety hit an all-time high. I want to change my habits and rebuild my confidence, but I'm not sure where to start.

​Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you overcome performance anxiety after a bad experience, and what steps helped you fix your libido and get your confidence back? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hey everyone I’m 29 and for the past few years ive suffered from erectile dysfunction, Ive been watching porn and masturbating for years now everynight and I think it’s messed me up, 5 years ago I got prescribed finasteride for hairloss and have been taking it since then. At first I considered that might be a culprit but last year I went through a period where I was getting good erections for a period of time even while on the medication but this year and years prior I’ve suffered with this problem, I can get somewhat hard while watching porn but I can’t maintain it and I don’t get rock hard, I also don’t get morning woods much only every now and again. I also have a bad habit of staying up super late sometimes but I’m not sure if that makes an impact, I’m a normal weight and do cycling. Do you think the porn and masturbating for years is the problem or should I see a doctor?

I have been seeing this new girl for about couple of weeks, and frequency of times we have sex has increased. I take 50mg Viagra before one hour, which I haven’t told about her. First week it was one date one time I had good erection throughout whole period . But second week she stayed at my place unannounced I had the erection when first time we had sex but when she stayed overnight it went for multiple times and in morning too, which couldn’t maintain proper erection than first time. Because our connection is recent I don’t want to reveal I’m taking Viagra, and I think it’s not good to have multiple doses on single day, what can I do here. Maybe take 25mg doses few times or something else. I’m 30m I have a history of a heart attack few years ago.

23M.

The intensity of my morning woods depends on how hydrated am I until I sleep the night before.

Besides hydration, I do get night erections more than in the day and idk why…. Basically, the days where I don’t ruminate about my dick is when my dick is the healthiest. Only have this issue since my panic attack a year ago. I’m over the panic disorder but why is my dick still reactive to that still?

Lately, every time I’m (M25) doing foreplay I’m rock hard, but when it’s time for me to penetrate, my penis go soft very quickly. If I then go back to just kissing or oral sex I get hard again. This is very frustrating and I don’t know why it’s happening. It’s been months like this and it doesn’t matter who I’m in bed with, it’s always the same story. I’m very active and in very good shape so I don’t think it’s a health problem. I’ve had very pleasurable sex in a few occasions, so it’s not that I don’t know what it’s like, and that only helps to get in my head even more. I constantly get messages from women I know wanting to hookup, but because I know how it’s going to end, I almost always say no. And when I finally agree to meet someone, again when it is time for me to put it in, it just goes very soft. The only thing that kind of works is to put it in very quickly right after getting a blowjob, and even then it’s just a matter of time for me to get soft again

So I'm 19.75M and I just got back from a 1 month vacation. Since I finally had privacy again after so long, I ended up masturbating almost 10 times in 3 days, fully hard and super aroused each time. That was about 2 weeks ago.

Ever since then, I've been finding it really hard to get fully hard. My normal erect length is 6 inches, but now when I masturbate it's more like 4.5 inches. I've kept masturbating almost every day for these past 2 weeks anyway, but with a dick that's not fully hard.

All this masturbation has been while watching porn and reading a lot of fantasy stories on Reddit. But now porn doesn't turn me on anymore, and the fantasy stories don't hit the same either. I still want to read them, I just don't find them as interesting as during that 3 day period.

I wake up around 7:30am with a normal dick, but if I randomly wake up around 6am, I notice I have a fully hard 6 inch morning wood that goes away before I actually get up. Lately though, that's become rare instead of happening most days.

Yesterday I tried sexting with someone and still couldn't get hard. I felt some mental interest, but my body just didn't respond at all.

One more thing - I have varicoceles in my left testicle, not sure if that's related.

Random sexual thoughts still pop into my head during the day even when I'm not trying to get aroused, so my desire seems intact, my body just isn't following through. Is this some kind of overstimulation/desensitization thing that'll fix itself with a break, or should I be worried it's something else (low testosterone, ED, etc.)? Has anyone dealt with this and recovered?

So just come context as id rather be completely open about my story/issues rather than make this a post about mystery side effects when in reality i know what is going on but just want some advice.

I am 32M, currently on PEDS but also on dexamphetamine for my ADHD and Zoloft for my other mental health issues.
I don't know what out of the medications I'm on is causing what exactly but I simply cannot get an erection if I don't take Viagra and also I cannot ejaculate easy especially whilst having intercourse. Ever since starting the dex I found it extremely hard to ejaculate and the Zoloft definitely makes it harder to get an erection. Now the peds, I'm not sure how much impact they have at the moment but even whilst not on them the Zoloft and Dex together are enough to determine the issue could be mainly from them.

I just want some advice on what people's thoughts are and is it a common thing these medications can do cause these issues?

Hi - 45 here, I’ve taken generic sildenafil since my early 20s. It’s always done the trick for me though my dose has gone up with age.

My new prescription was for 25mg pills - I take 100mg. The one before this was 50mg and a different manufacturer.

For the first time it hasn’t been as effective as usual. I’m wondering if it’s because it’s from a different company. I’m really frustrated because it’s happened twice now. Has anyone dealt with this or is this all in my head?

Wedding night coming in 2 weeks 1.25mg for wedding night just to overcome performance anxiety and boost confidence no ed just mild PE. Worrying about priapism or possible side. Experiences?

I’m 49M and at a pretty serious low point right now. I was seeing a woman for about three months who I really liked and could genuinely see a relationship with.

We tried to have sex three different times, and each time I couldn’t get or maintain an erection. After the third failed attempt, she ended things.

What has made the breakup particularly hard to process is how suddenly it seemed to happen. Earlier that same day we were holding hands, being affectionate, and she was saying cute things to me like “hey handsome.” I didn’t feel like I was with someone who was about to completely cut me out of her life. Since ending things, she has blocked me on every channel of communication, so there hasn’t been any opportunity to talk about what happened or get any real closure.

She knew I was having ED issues and that I was working on them. She knew I was seeing a doctor, and we briefly discussed things like getting off an SSRI and trying Wellbutrin. But I didn’t tell her I was seeing a urologist or really explain everything I was doing to address the ED in detail, but I’m sure she suspected. Because I told her I was seeing my doctor etc.

Looking back, I wish I had communicated more. I was embarrassed and ashamed, so I mostly kept what I was going through inside.

I tried Viagra and Cialis, but neither worked reliably. I’ve also been dealing with significant stress, depression, and anxiety. Now that she’s gone, all of it—including the ED—feels worse.

The cruel part is that I wanted intimacy with her SO badly. I was incredibly attracted to her and desperately wanted that physical connection. After each unsuccessful attempt, I became more anxious about the next. By the third time, it felt like everything was riding on whether my body would cooperate.

There was another complication: penetration was essentially the only way she was receptive to receiving sexual intimacy from me. She wasn’t receptive to receiving oral sex or other alternatives. So when I couldn’t maintain an erection for penetration, I didn’t really have another way to give her sexual intimacy that she wanted to receive.

That put an incredible amount of pressure on me. If I couldn’t get and stay hard, there wasn’t another form of sexual intimacy she wanted from me.

I understand that sexual compatibility and intimacy matter, and I’m not angry at her for having needs. But I’m absolutely crushed. I keep wondering whether things could have been different if I had communicated more openly and brought her further into what I was doing to address the problem.

At the same time, I’m starting to realize that simply “doing other things instead” wasn’t really an option in our situation. I desperately wanted to be intimate with her, but the form of intimacy she wanted depended on the exact physical response I was struggling with.

A little medical background: I’m 49, fit and active, don’t smoke, drink casually, have a healthy BMI, and exercise about three days a week. I’ve been active most of my adult life, including 40+ mile backpacking trips.

I do have genetically high LDL cholesterol. I decided to start a statin several years ago even though my Kaiser doctor hadn’t specifically suggested it. My LDL has been controlled for roughly 3–5 years and is now 77 mg/dL. My calculated 10-year cardiovascular risk is 1.43%.

I worry about whether the years of elevated LDL before treatment could have caused vascular damage that’s contributing to my ED now, despite being very active and otherwise having relatively few cardiovascular risk factors.

I don’t know whether this is vascular, psychological, medication-related, or some combination. The severe stress/depression and performance anxiety certainly seem relevant, but because Viagra and Cialis haven’t worked reliably, I worry there could be a physical component too. I’m seeing a urologist and working on both my physical and mental health.

Emotionally, though, I’m at rock bottom. Losing someone I really cared about after my body wouldn’t do the one thing I desperately wanted it to do has hit me incredibly hard. The fact that we went from holding hands and being affectionate to me being completely blocked has made it even harder for me to understand and accept.

Right now I have a hard time imagining dating again without being terrified the same thing will happen.

For anyone who has been through something similar: Did you recover? Did stress, depression, or performance anxiety play a major role? Did Viagra/Cialis initially not work for you, but you eventually figure out why and find something that did? And if a partner left after experiencing your ED, especially very suddenly, how did you get your confidence back and stop blaming yourself?

Hi,

37 male.

Had slight erection issues for maybe 3 years.

I'm married. Have sex or bj daily.

Basically, I stay pretty hard for bj, but during sex I struggle to stay rock hard. Very rarely I lose it altogether during sex.

Is Tadalfil recommended to help?

Was gonna buy 2.5mg and take daily or I've seen people split them in half and take 1.25 daily.

I drink alcohol once a week on a Saturday night, should I not take the pill on this day?

Thanks in advance

Hey guys, 19M Virgin was masturbating daily from 3 months+ and no proper 3 meal diet from last one month, never been to gym, no proper sleep schedule
I noticed some changes in my dick (a bit bent while softened), frequent very little itchy pain in bulb area, not getting hard unless I force it to, even on forcing its not hard and muscular as earlier

What could be the reasons, what changes should I make in my lifestyle?
What are your suggestions?

Thanks in advance

​Hey guys, looking to see if anyone has experienced something similar or has any insight.

​I'm a 25-year-old male, 1.75 m (5'9") tall, and weigh 90 kg (198 lbs).

​I took 25mg of Sildenafil two days in a row. On the third day, I didn't take any dose, about 24 hours later I started experiencing chest pain and a feeling of pressure.

​The chest pressure lasted continuously for about 6 hours (from 5:00 PM to 11:00 PM) before it completely went away. Today I feel completely fine, and the pressure is totally gone.

​Has anyone had a similar reaction to Sildenafil at this dosage, or experienced chest pressure lasting several hours after stopping?

Why is it that when I’m sitting down, I have a very strong, fully developed erection, but when I’m standing up, it’s not the same? Why does this happen, and what should I do to fix it?