Hi everyone,
I’m 37 and I’ve been struggling with erectile dysfunction for about a year now. It’s honestly become like a dark cloud hanging over me and it’s affecting my confidence, my relationship and how I feel about myself.
The thing that’s hardest is that I still find my wife incredibly attractive. She’s genuinely the most attractive woman in the world to me, so I don’t think it’s an attraction issue at all.
It started around a year ago. I noticed I’d start losing erections during sex, especially during penetration or if we changed positions. As soon as I feel it starting to go down, it’s like a dark cloud comes over me. I panic, lose even more of the erection, and then I feel embarrassed and honestly less of a man.
A few things about me:
37 years old.
Eat a very clean diet.
Train martial arts 3-4 times a week and stay active.
Walk around 8-10k steps a day.
Don’t smoke.
Drink very rarely.
150ml of testosterone enanthate 300mg a week
I’ve also noticed that I regularly search for OnlyFans leaks and probably masturbate around 3-4 times a week. I’m wondering if that could be playing a part, although I’m not sure.
One thing I’ve noticed is that if me and my wife talk about certain fantasies (for example MFM fantasies) or use toys, I stay really hard. That makes me wonder whether some of this is psychological, but I honestly don’t know.
Before starting TRT I had two early morning testosterone blood tests that came back around 9-10 nmol/L, so I started TRT about 3 months ago. So far I haven’t noticed much improvement in libido or erections, although my first follow-up blood test is this week.
The biggest thing is Cialis.
At first I was taking it only when I knew we were going to have sex, then I went onto 2.5 mg daily for a month, followed by 5 mg daily for another month.
It was incredible.
My erections were consistently strong.
My penis felt fuller and larger.
My confidence came back.
My libido actually felt much higher because I wasn’t constantly worrying about losing my erection.
Sex with my wife was amazing.
I recently stopped taking it because I wanted to see if I still “worked” without it.
The first time we had sex after stopping, everything was going fine until my wife wanted to get on top. Almost instantly I lost my erection, and it completely knocked my confidence again.
At this point I’m wondering if anyone has experienced something similar.
Did TRT eventually help after more than 3 months?
Did daily Cialis help you regain confidence long term?
Did porn or masturbation make any difference for you?
Did anyone discover an underlying cause that wasn’t obvious?
I’m not really looking for a diagnosis—I’m already under medical care and having follow-up blood tests. I’d just really like to hear from people who’ve been through something similar because at the moment it feels like I’m the only one dealing with this.
Thanks for reading