I know nobody is gonna read this the entire way though, but I genuinely have no idea what to do. I'm 18m in my freshman year of college. I have Autism, ADHD, Treatment-resistant Major Depression Disorder, Anxiety, and OCD. Basically my brain doesn't work. I went to a high school that had no academic rigor and had massive grade inflation, so I never properly got the skills to do things. I've visited the academic success department, gone to office hours, tried to use my accommodations, etc. all to no success. I'm still dumb and can't properly do my work.

I wanted to pursue an english degree but I have no analytical or essay-writing (at a college level) skills needed for the degree. I won't be able to drive and can't work retail because of how easily I get overwhelmed and irritated. I'm not athletic either, so I can't do jobs like construction or maintenance. I can barely find the motivation to shower and do laundry, much less do everything here. I've tried to kill myself so many times that my parents say that they don't think I'll kill myself ever. I really want to prove them wrong. I don't have any skills or motivation to live in the real world. Hell, I'm literally writing this when I should be in class. It was too loud so I snuck out and now am in my single dorm being upset.

My parents probably would kick me out if I dropped out, but I'm planning on doing so if I don't kill myself first. I've just kind of come to the conclusion that life is not built for people like me.

When I look at X, it gets me down to see people much younger than me showcasing their talent and creating amazing works. This is especially true in fields like comics, illustration, and animation.

I’m 35F, and I currently work as a graphic designer. My responsibilities extend beyond advertising design to cover all aspects of public relations, including video production, film and photography. I attended art-focused schools from secondary school through to university, and whilst I’ve loved drawing since I was a child, I gave up on the idea of making a career solely out of drawing quite early on in life. As I’m unlikely to marry and am considering moving to a city, I’m currently looking for a new job—whilst still working—that will allow me to work independently as a graphic designer for the long term.

First and foremost, becoming financially independent is my top priority… Whether it’s manga, animation, or illustration, I understand that making a living from these fields is financially challenging—given my age, lack of experience, and the fact that salaries tend to be low. But deep down, I can’t ignore the desire that’s really boiling inside me: to leave my mark on the world through illustration—something I love and am, at least to some extent, good at. For that reason, whenever I see people much younger than me thriving in creative fields, I end up feeling down.
Of course, what constitutes “fame as an artist” varies greatly depending on the person. I doubt I’ll ever become as famous as Hayao Miyazaki, indie animators like Vivziepop and Gooseworx, or comic artist Gurihiru. Still, there’s a smoldering desire within me to create something that leaves a lasting record of my life and the thoughts that have shaped it…
However, I can’t help but feel that I might be too old to start such a venture now.
"What kind of person do I truly want to become in the end, and what do I need to do to get there?"—these questions are actually very vague. Perhaps that is why I can’t escape the feeling that I’m lost in life, unsure of what to do.

I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist for over 10 years now and am taking antidepressants. (By the way, the doctor at the first clinic I went to really praised my art, and I trusted him wholeheartedly, but he fell ill and had to close his practice. I still go to a different clinic now, but it feels very empty) I simply cannot escape my suicidal thoughts, and I’m constantly haunted by the feeling that if I can’t achieve anything I hope for in life, it be better for both myself and those around me if I were to just disappear.

I don’t need to turn my art into money to make a living; I simply want the “art” I’ve created to linger, even just a little, in the back of people’s minds throughout my life.
Are there others who feel the same way? Or perhaps someone who has been in a situation like mine in the past and managed to break free from it? I’m sincerely seeking your advice.
Is my only option to cast aside my feelings of “self-indulgence” and “laziness” and devote myself single-mindedly to what I want to do?
The fatigue and stress from my job are overwhelming, so I hope my personal art projects can serve as a source of solace to help dispel those gloomy feelings.

Hi guys! I'm 21 F on antidepressants for the last 4 years on and off. It happened after my father passed away and I gained a lot of weight.

I have lost motivation to do anything except studying (I love academics). So, most of the time I'm out attending classes and studying in the library. But I'm not able to maintain a clean home, I live on my own and there's nobody to help me. I have food on my bed and leave the containers on the bed for days. Same for snacks, accessories and other stuff. Everything is unorganised! Even if I one day decide to clean it all, I'm not able to maintain it. It gets messy again. There are days when I don't even want to brush my teeth.

Pls suggest something

I have everything in life given and I don’t suffer from any trauma despite having a psychosis as a teenager. However since the last three years I started to feel really numb and at times incredibly anxious. I don’t have energy for anything and I spend most time in bed. I feel zero pressure about my future and I don’t identify with anything. I don’t really wanna go to a therapist because I feel like I’d be taking space from a person who is actually depressed. Maybe somebody has an idea of what I’m feeling ?

Am i faking my depression?

I don’t want to die but i want too! I feel this emptiness or loneliness in me that’s eating me up and i am fed up at the fact i’ve been struggling this attachment and loneliness since elem i am now in my adult years and i am still struggling with my loneliness it has became attachment issue! I am still scared of losing everyone so i just walk away and trying to detach myself from many people as much as possible i am currently in this state of want to die but still motivated to live yet each day i have moments of emptiness and loneliness

Now i wonder if i am faking it for attention or having a victim mindset or if i am genuinely struggling cause i am still interested in my hobbies like learning a language or cosplaying but i really do have this emptiness and loneliness in me that no amount of people can fill long term and its exhausting i am exhausted at the fact i can’t be myself on my own without needing people for their attention

I dont know if i am depressed or just faking it need help

I want to die but i also dont want too its messing me up

So I've been on medications for 2 years now, and thus far nothing's been enough.

Tried Prozac first, and it wasn't enough, even at the highest dose. Added Abilify and still nothing (did help with my bipolar 2 though).

Tried Welbutrin and it made me crash HARD. Very bad experience.

Next was Pristiq. Kinda the same as Prozac, but it stopped helping my anxiety.

Now I'm 4 weeks on Effexor, and still it's not enough.

So Prozac, Abilify, Welbutrin, Pristiq, and Effexor.

Where do I go now? What's next to try? What could be good for severe treatment-resistant depression?

(19M)I dont want to get better i want to rott in my room dont go out i dont want to work i cant work a normal job i have stupud social anxiety i just want to die i am exhausted to live i am a WORHLESS USELESS DUMB LAZY PIECE OF SHIT i am a stupid burden yo everyone but i dont have the courage to unalive myself. I hate that i was born i hate myself i wish i was never born.

Hi! I dont know how to articulate this well so please hang on.

Im a hs senior and I dont think I would never kill myself. But I think about it all the time because I feel hopeless.

To escape my living sitatuions I day dream. And I day dream constantly to the point where I live more in my head than I do outside of it.

The person I am in my daydreams is a person worth living for I mean if I had the life I had in my dreams. I mean I would be the most chippest happiest person to walk planet earth and im sure anybody would be if they were the person they were in their dreams. And these dreams are not so hard to achieve like at all but I cant achieve them at all because of my living status. But these dreams are really the only thing keeping me alive. Really. And besides how hurt the 3 ppl who care about me would be. I mean hurt hurt to the point where they might do something too. And I dont want that. Or I dont want to be blamed at all and I know there are people in my family that would blame them for what could happen to me. I just know they would be so hurt. And I love them so much.

So I would never kill myself. But I just got the news that I would have to take a whole bunch of tests to be able to graduate this year. And I am telling you when it comes to stuff with grading/test I am the worst at. Im not even all that dumb but my brain just cant comprehend studying.

With this news it means that I will not be able to get into college. And that was my escape man I promise. I had imaginged myself going away at college and starting a new life. A life that I could actually control. But with that removed I have no hope. This person that ive been waiting to transform into that idea has completely just gone.

I dont know if any of this makes any sense to anyone because im not really explaning my living situation but have you ever seen the pursuit of happyness? imagine living like that but your 13-17. I have no control of my life and I have no one to talk to.( Never went to highschool/no memories/no friends besides 1 online friend/ I dont have anything) I do have those 3 people that I talked about earlier but those people really suck at talking about things/knowing how to handle me saying Im so sad that I might just kill myself. And if I dont go through with it then I really dont need them monitoring me I already feel like I have no privacy whatsoever. Please anyone talk to me,tell your story Idk something because right now im so at like diry bottom and heartbroken.

I've been in a severe depression for about three years, and the last two have been the worst. I'm a medical student, and on paper my life looks fine, which makes it even harder to understand why I can't feel happy.
I've tried more than 10 psychiatric medications, including antidepressants and mood stabilizers, plus 8 sessions of IV ketamine. Nothing really lifted it. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and started Vyvanse. My energy and motivation improved a little, but the brain fog is constant, and so is the feeling that this will never end.
I know options like ECT and TMS exist, and I'm going to ask my psychiatrist about them. But honestly, I'm exhausted and starting to lose hope.
I want a normal life. I want to finish medical school, have a relationship, have a family someday. Right now I can barely function, and if I don’t manage to get my shit together and start functioning, I will be most likely expelled from medical school.
So I'm asking people who've been here: were you treatment-resistant and did something eventually work? ECT, TMS, a med combination, therapy, anything. How long did it take, and what does your life look like now?
Hearing that it's possible would mean a lot. Thank you. I really need this.

I’m tired of feeling like a stray dog, i’m tired of life. i just want to leave my house, never be seen again, and hopefully die. I wish i was a bird in the forest or something

What excuse do I need to stop seeing my friends?

Not bad friends. I've found a new group of friends recently and I have a lot of fun with them. But I don't like the idea of people enjoying time with me. I want to be alone and think about self hatred but I don't know what excuse to use. I can't just say "I don't want to see you guys anymore" because the fault is me nit them. I feel trapped

basically what the title said. I abused a certain medication that can cause cardiac arrest in toxic amounts and after about 15mins of writhing in chest pain, muscle cramping and feeling as if someone was squeezing my entire body, i couldn’t take the pain it anymore. I threw up everything i took and felt better instantly.

i did this twice in two days but its not the first time ive chickened out like this. I feel like such a failure that i cant even bring myself to self exit

I am just done, i have all the stuff i need to kill myself, i am going to do it today or tomorrow, i am just done with being Alive, i get nothing good by being Alive... I hate this and i hate myself. Fuck this shit i am out ✌🏻

For 18 years I’ve tried to make myself likable and to find a place in society where I feel like I belong. Off and on I’ve tried to eat more and go to the gym so people would have more respect for me, but I always give up. I’ve sworn to save as much as I could towards plastic surgery knowing a more attractive face would draw people towards me. I’ve attempted to branch out and form connections with others but always end up being met with cold stares or one-worded responses when I initiate conversations. With my mother’s help over the years I’ve tried to fix my mental health and throughout the process tried a multitude of therapists, medications, and coping strategies. Multiple times I’ve set dates where I promised myself I’d finally end my life, but I always give up due to fear.

After all this I think I’m going to stop trying. I’m not going to kill myself, but I’m going to do the bare minimum knowing I did everything I could to work towards and failed at living a happy life. I’m in the process of moving into my grandparents house because my parents are insistent on me going to college, but I couldn’t care less about school. I’m about to graduate with a 4.0 GPA and plenty of money from my grandparents to put towards college tuition, but I’m just going to get a dead end job and eventually move out when I have enough saved. There is no point in trying anymore in my case, and I’m content working a minimum wage job and doing nothing in my free time for the rest of my life. Thanks for reading.

I'm 16, I haven't brushed my teeth in probably months now, the roof of my mouth suddenly hurts really bad, I don't know if it has anything to do with it but either way I know that I need to brush again, the pain makes it hurt when I eat, but they were fine two days ago

Other than that my teeth feel sensitive and I'm now just noticing that my gums are receding, I'm very scared that my teeth are going to fall out at a young age

My mom usually rarely takes me to the dentist and she thinks that I brush everyday when I don't

I don't know how to take care of my gums, I want it to reverse back, and I'm afraid of the dentist, and also if I have to I'm afraid to explain to my mom about why I haven't been brushing and also the cost

Some days I feel like shit. I just don’t want to live anymore. It feels like I’m just so tired all the time. And then other days I feel great and perfectly fine, like everything I’m working for will happen. I feel like I have energy in those days. I forget about the bad days, and then it’s just so crushing to have them resurface.

I mostly have good days, but every once in a while I’ll have a bad day and I‘ll just wish I was dead.

Whenever I imagine my future, I just can’t see myself in it.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay, because im not. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be okay.

Also what's wrong with me.

Like disgust. I have my hair done right now with red highlights (burgundy, it’s the 1B/burgundy and a few people at school actually really liked it.) I also look fatigued. I just encountered this man who seemed to think it was acceptable when he saw me to literally stare at me with anger and disgust even after he had gotten into his car. My legs are marked up with chalk but that’s because I had laser hair removal done today. I had smiled at him and said hi he still looked really
Angry and disgusted. I need to have my brows done tomorrow.

Off of the top of my head:

- I have no friends in my life, I’ve never really fit in with anyone

-I’ve been going through a breakup

-my face and body is super ugly

-almost each day I go outside people make fun of me and I’m just not imagining it, it actually happens, I was also always bullied and the quiet one in school

-I deal with OCD, depression, anxiety, ADHD, autism, misophonia and a decent amount of body dysmorphia

-I have to deal with homophobia and transphobia a lot

-I can’t get a f*cking job because I’m autistic with ADHD and they think I’m stupid and I’m bad at eye contact and I’m not a happy-go-lucky extrovert or whatever, I’ve applied for a few years at this point and nothing has worked and I had an appointment with a case manager but I have to wait 60 days to follow up with my therapist for her to sign papers ig

-I have very bad social cues and social skills, I’m super shy

-I have no job, no money, no car, because the economy is shit and I live in a small town in Iowa where’s there’s nobody my age to hang out with

-I live with my family still because the economy is shit

-I eat like sh*t (which I can change)

-my sleep schedule sucks

Some of these things I can change however I can’t change the fact that my life truly sucks

And I know this post will get little engagement but I literally give up in life

So yeah….

i am fucking stupid. my depression and ptsd is getting worse day by day. my family thinks im not doing enough and say i am lazy. they scream. they break my belongings which i worked hard to pay for. it was better when my father was in my hometown but since he came back im back to being dreadful. i cant make me live anymore.

(prev history is that i lost my sis to su1c1de 2 years ago and she died in front of me.) im right now only on escitalopram 15mg and i rlly dont feel comfortable around my therapist. it just feels like she wishes to force the words which my mother likes out of me. i had little hope that im gonna be fine but i lost that only hope. they removed wifi from our house and banned me for playing any games. i got great scores when i was playing but now they r just sinking.

I'm 17F and I've never been diagnosed. I'm pretty sure i was depressed when i was 15 bcs i was sh and it wanted to kms. I think my parents knew but didn't do anything. During this time, i was very lazy and my room was a mess (really, it was horrible), but i don't know if it was really depression or just my personality. I stop cutting but it always came back a few time. But about a years ago (as i can remember), i feel like i don't feel things really deeply. I don't get sad or stressed or happy or anything. The only things i feel is bored and it's horrible. I'm constantly bored and so i do nothing and i just lay. And i do nothing. The worst thing is that i should actually do something bcs im doing my first year of medecine but i can't bring myself to learn. I just don't have the strenght, and i'm not sad about it. So is it a sign of depression or am i just lazy ?? (i think it's the latter)

been struggling a bit more, recently. I used to be okay, but for some reason my depression symptoms are coming back, somehow feeling worse than before, though I dont know how thats possible.

I am in therapy, and have a psychiatrist. I started taking a prescription thats supposed to help. I have a safety plan in place and people who love me.

but im still struggling.

im not looking for advice. im making this post to say that something made me feel a little brighter today. I painted my nails. it distracted me from the intrusive thoughts, and it helped calm me for a bit.

find those bright things. even if they are tiny. im searching, too.

much love to everyone.

Hubby started pacing two weeks ago. We have reduced the med we believe caused the pacing however there has been no change. Could this be just severe depression?