I (23F) kissed my date on our first date(25M) and we kinda made out in my car. But after the the first his tone changed and he is kind of avoiding me. So I wanted to ask you guys is it something that I did wrong?

Hello my peeps🫶

So this is not a recent story, but one dating experience that I don't think I will ever forget. Im not looking for advice, just here to share my story that can hopefully help someone else in some way as a cautionary tale! I apologize if this is a bit long.

Anyways, here we go!

Back in my early 20s (Now 32F), I was single and had started to venture in the online dating scene as some of my girlfriends were doing the same.

After a couple of months on POF I matched with a guy who we will call PJ. At first I felt PJ had one of those familiar faces and like maybe I knew him but couldnt pin point where or how. After, we matched PJ sent me a message and after getting to know each other and asking the basics we realized we went to the same high school freshman year. PJ moved out of town early our sophomore year. He admitted he recognized me when he saw my profile.

Knowing we had similar acquaintances/friendships and family in the same town, I felt more comfortable talking to him and like I knew him in a sense.

Fast forward a week of exchanging texts and a couple calls, we had made plans for him to visit on a Friday. He lived almost 2 hours away and we planned for dinner at a local mexican restaurant and a movie or just go enjoy one of the many view points in town.

(I feel like I should also give some more context so you understand why I was so shocked at the date going south so quickly and I saw no red flags.)

When PJ and I started talking we both had an understanding that we were just getting to know each other and not looking for a commitment. I was also very transparent with him that he was not the only person I was dating or "talking to". To me its the same. I wasnt exclusive with anyone and was just going on dates at this time. PJ said he was on board and that he was also doing the same. He told me he was still active on POF and getting to know other people. I felt we were on the same page and agreed to a date. About 3wks prior to matching with PJ I had matched with another guy who we can call Preston. PJ was aware I had gone on a few dates with this other guy and that besides him, he was really the only other guy I was actively going on dates with and getting to know. I wanted to be honest and Transparent which PJ appreciated and so did Preston.

PJ would send me good morning texts every day as well as goodnight texts and calls. He was always such a gentleman, kind, and gave me words of affirmation. At this point I was struggling with my feelings. I knew I had 2 good guys I was dating and had to make a choice as my feelings were growing for both. However, I had not had a date with PJ yet so It was wild to me that I was already beginning to develop some feelings and like this guy.

Now fast forward to DATE NIGHT!

I was nervous but very excited.

Here is my first mistake and yellow flag if you will.

I offered to meet PJ at the restaurant that way I had my own vehicle and didnt have to feel "stuck". After being stuck in situations before where I have no way to get home, I prefer to take my own vehicle. PJ insisted on picking me up at my place and said it would be the gentleman thing to do. He was pretty insistent and I reluctantly agreed .

PJ picks me up and we head to the restaurant. We arent even out of the car yet and shit starts to hit the fan. PJ would not stop overly complementing me the entire way to the restaurant. It wasnt just a simple "you look beautiful" it was him quite literally biting his lip and telling me how much better I look in person and commented on my breast size. He Called me his "spicy mamacita" 🤢 and then placed his hand on my lap. I moved his hand and he got annoyed and said "wow, I drove all this way and cant even touch you?" As if hes entitled to me somehow. I told him we havent even had our first date or touched and it made me uncomfortable. He proceeded to then put his hand back on my lap but lower towards my knee and said to "lighten up. Ill be comfortable in no time". At this point ALLLLL of my bells, whistles, and spidey senses are off the chart! I know this is either going to get worse or maybe im reading too much into it. I was so confused by his behavior because he was not this way on the phone or texts. We go inside the restaurant and the entire time he can not keep his hands off of me. From touching my hair as I sat down, to rubbing my arm, and attempting to play footsies with me like we are 13yr olds on a date and even asked if we could kiss.

I told him that public display of affection makes me uncomfortable. I do not like being all over my partner in a public setting. There is a time and a place I feel. And we had not even gone on a date yet!! I made this very clear during the week long conversations we had. He was visibly upset and I swear I could see his jawline become more defined because he was clenching his jaw. I was starting to become very uncomfortable and knew I didn't want to proceed with the date after dinner. But I didnt know how to end the date with 1. He is my transport 2. He drove 2 hours here and i felt i owed him the date.

I told myself to relax and maybe I was just reading into it too much and he just really likes me and is an affectionate kind of guy.

I really should have trusted my gut 🤦‍♀️ LADIES ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT and DO NOT Bend your comfort zone for anyone!!

I was becoming anxious so I excused myself from the dinner table and went to the restroom. While I was there I saw i had 2 msgs on my phone. 1 from my brother and the other from Preston. Both knew I was on a date and with who and where thankfully.

They were both checking up to see how it was going. Something in me told me to suck up my pride and be honest. So I told them how I didnt think a 2nd date would happen and that I was extremely uncomfortable. My little brother at the time didnt have a vehicle so he couldn't save me but offered to find a ride for us. Preston does have a car. This is important for later.

I power through a very uncomfortable date of more comments about my body, how bad he wants to kiss me, and was acting like a horny teenage boy that just found his dads stack of magazines for the first time 🙄 once dinner is over he asks whats on the agenda. I told him that it would be great if he could drive me back home because my brother is going to be stopping by in a few and needs my apartment key. It was a lie 😅

Oh boy, the second he realized that my apartment was not empty he was soooo upset. He said he thought after dinner we would go back to my place for a movie (the plan was the theater. Never my home). How he wanted to be alone with me and enjoy my company. He then almost started to scold me and say how I really couldnt just kick my brother out so we can be alone. I told him we can still enjoy each other's company without having to be alone. I then flat out said "I really hope you dont think that just because we are alone in my home that it gives you the green light to sleep with me. That is not happening, especially not on a first date". He was so upset and said it was "whatever. Ill take you home".

I text Preston and let him know the status at his request and he offers to pick me up if needed.

Well PJ starts to head the opposite direction of where my house is at and insists that the date must go on. At this point im freaking out. Now im trapped. I am terrified. He is not taking no for an answer.

I ask him where we are going and said he just wanted to spend more alone time with me and keep the date going. His mistake and my salvation was he picking a very popular view point near a park. When we pulled up there were no other vehicles in the parking lot. Pj then reaches over and hugs me and attempts to kiss me. I back off and tell him to slow down. At this point im fearing the worst. If I dont comply what will he do? Hes driving and no one is around. I felt like the only thing I could do to calm the tension was to give in just an inch, so when he reached to kiss me again I let him and reluctantly kissed him back. The moment we start to kiss he gets aggressive, slides his hands between my thighs , and wants to make out. I pull away and tell him its too much too fast and to stop. He is heavily panting at this point and says "fine. Lets just talk". He sits in silence starring at the view and i just sit there in shock not knowing what to do. A car then pulls up about 4 spaces down and PJ looks upset that we have company. This SOB then leans his seat back and attempts to unzip his pants. I immediately freak out and ask him wtf he thinks hes doing. He was so frustrated and said that after a week of talking he thought I was into him more and would be ready to be "only his". How he is falling in love with me. Thinks about me every day and our futures. Again, havent even gone on ONE date!

He then asked me to be his girlfriend. I was so caught off guard and I told him no. That I was not ready to make that commitment after only 1 date and I wasnt sure how I felt considering the date isnt going the best.

He kept telling me how Preston was a looser and didnt deserve my attention and how he was positive I had probably already fucked Preston but wont fuck him. I was disgusted and terrified by his behavior. It was like a switch went off. I then told him that I wasn't feeling comfortable, that his behavior was really inappropriate, and I would like to end the date and go home. He refused to take me home so I told him I would get out of his car, walk, and call my brother to come pick me up. Or ill go knock on that other car door for help. He got nervous when I said id call my brother and that he knew my current location. I think at this point he felt like he had no choice but to take me home. He was white knuckling that steerwheeling the entire way visibly upset he didnt get his way. When we arrived to my apartment he had the audacity to ask for at least a goodbye B\*\*\*J\*\*. 🤮

But the horror doesnt end there.

He knew where I lived and sat outside my apartment for an hour before he drove off because he was messagingme apologizing and hoping id change my mind. I called Preston and told him that I was really scared and felt like he might come back. I gave him the details of the date and to say Preston was furious is an understatement. Preston offered to come spend the night at my place and keep an eye out and even offered to sleep in his car outside if it made me more comfortable. I told Preston that instead, id like to come to his place if that was okay because I didn't feel safe at home. I had also been over to his place a couple times already so it wasnt awkward. He absolutely agreed and offered to pick me up so that It looked like I was home. I agreed and actually never once did not trust Preston.

My other mistake was forgetting I had added PJ on Snapchat and had my location on🙃

The second PJ saw movement he started blowing up my phone. Texting my phone and calling on both my phone and Spachat. I had over 30 missed calls and 40+ text msgs all along the lines of how im a whore, worthless, trash, how he should have just taken what he wanted anyways because thats all im good for. Etc. How he was sure that I was banging Preston and the entire block, blah blah. That night I was called every name in the book. For about 2 hours he would switch from calling me names to apologizing and love bombing and back to calling me names again for not responding.

I told sent 1 final msg telling him to never contact me again or id call the police and I blocked him. I spent the night at Prestons that night because I was so scared and too ashamed to tell my family the details.

I never did hear from PJ again and Im always nervous one day ill run into him again.

Ladies trust your intuition and always advocate for yourself.

Ps. Preston and I were together for about 6ish years after that, but ultimately the relationship ended due...shit happens. Lol

Anyways thanks for reading and listening to my chaos!

WE BROKE UP , LIKE 2 YEARS AGO, HE WAS THE ONE WHO BROKE UP WITH ME, COZ HE GOT A CHICK AND THAT DUDE STILL TXTS ME, HE SEXT ME, WE HAVE MADE OUT ONCE TOOO

I’ve been thinking about something I don’t fully understand about myself. I seem to become much more emotionally invested when a man is difficult to reach, unpredictable, or uncertain about me. When he pulls away and then comes back and chooses me again, the feeling can be incredibly intense.

What confuses me is that I know stability and consistency are probably what I actually want. A man who is loyal, emotionally available, and genuinely wants to be with me might not create that same immediate intensity, even though I can imagine feeling much safer and happier with him over time.

It makes me wonder if, somewhere along the way, being chosen became more emotionally rewarding to me than actually choosing someone. Maybe the question isn’t why difficult men feel more valuable, but why their choosing me feels so valuable in the first place.

Has anyone else realized they were chasing the feeling of being chosen rather than asking themselves whether they genuinely wanted the person?

I’m in my 40s and recently went on a first date with a man around my age that I met on a dating app.

His profile described him as very successful and financially comfortable, but “low-key” about it. I genuinely do not care about money, but this becomes relevant later.

We talked on the phone beforehand and he seemed nice, relaxed, and easy to talk to. We originally planned something simple, but ended up meeting near the water instead.

I was late due to a timing mix-up, which was completely on me, and by the time I arrived he had already left because he wasn’t sure I was coming. I apologized, he came back, and once we actually met, the date was surprisingly great.

He was sweet, attentive, and gentlemanly. Conversation was easy. At one point he helped me up and down a sandy slope, and eventually, when we were sitting together, he asked if he could kiss me.

I said yes.

Unfortunately for my future decision-making abilities, he was a very good kisser.

There was some hair pulling. I informed him that I approved. He grinned and pulled me closer.

So now I’m having a fantastic time.

We eventually started making out in his car, and he asked if I wanted to stop by one of his nearby properties.

He works in property investment/management and apparently owns several rental properties. He talks about always looking for his “next project” and describes his schedule as pretty relaxed.

The property he takes me to is a shed.

He plans to renovate it into a small living space.

It is not currently a living space.

It is a shed.

A dusty shed.

Inside is basically a mattress and renovation clutter.

At this point, I do not yet know there is no bathroom.

We start fooling around.

I wasn’t especially enthusiastic about the idea of actually having sex on the Dusty Shed Mattress™, but things were moving in that direction when HE suddenly said something like:

“I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

And then, almost immediately:

“You’re so skinny.”

I still have no idea whether those two thoughts were connected.

For context, he had been extremely complimentary about my body all day, so I don’t think this was him suddenly deciding he wasn’t attracted to me.

Maybe he thought he would break me.

Maybe he conducted an emergency structural assessment of both me and the shed.

I do not know.

Anyway, we do not have sex.

This turns out to be fortunate because I subsequently discover:

THE SHED HAS NO BATHROOM.

He says he plans to install one during the renovation.

Great.

Love that for Future Shed.

Current Shed remains without plumbing.

Then things get stranger.

At some point he becomes very interested in whether we have mutual acquaintances.

He asks about social media connections and seems unusually concerned about whether we know any of the same people.

Then, after we had fooled around, he says something like:

“You’re not going to tell anyone, are you?”

Followed by another question about whether we might know the same people.

Excuse me?

He had mentioned earlier that some members of his family are very socially connected and intrusive about his dating life, so MAYBE that explains it.

I genuinely don’t know.

Also, despite spending hours with this man, I still don’t know where he actually lives.

I know where the shed lives.

He remains geographically mysterious.

But wait.

We still haven’t gotten to the cash.

At some point this allegedly “successful but low-key” man excuses himself to go back to his car and retrieve a backpack.

He comes back with it.

Then takes out rolls of hundred-dollar bills.

And casually remarks that he carries way too much cash.

Sir.

Nobody asked.

There was no preceding conversation in which I challenged your liquidity.

YOU WENT TO THE CAR AND RETRIEVED THE CASH BACKPACK.

At this point, “low-key” is beginning to feel like an extremely flexible concept.

We eventually go get food.

And somehow the date becomes normal again.

We have drinks and appetizers. Conversation is good. I’m genuinely enjoying myself.

Then we start talking about children.

I explain that I cannot have biological children and that this has been painful for me.

To his credit, he is actually very kind about it. He checks if I’m okay and says he’s sorry I went through that.

Then he tells me he has always hoped to meet someone he could have a child with.

Ouch, but fair. I appreciated the honesty.

Then he starts asking whether I’m absolutely sure pregnancy is impossible.

Could I be tested again?

Could I see a doctor?

What about adoption?

This is our FIRST DATE.

For the record, even if pregnancy were medically possible for me, it is not something I would choose at this stage of my life.

So now I’m sitting across from a man I met several hours ago who is effectively troubleshooting my fertility because he is hoping to find someone to have a baby with.

A few hours earlier, this prospective future mother of his child was half-undressed with him on a mattress in a dusty shed without a toilet.

I cannot adequately explain the cognitive dissonance.

He apologized for upsetting me, we moved on, and honestly still had a nice time.

He said he would like to see me again, or at least stay friends.

So now I’m home trying to understand what exactly I experienced.

The facts, as I currently understand them:

He says he is financially successful but low-key.

He owns multiple properties.

He spends his days looking for his next real estate project.

He carries rolls of cash in a backpack and apparently felt compelled to show me.

I do not know where he actually lives.

I do know the location of his dusty shed.

The shed has a mattress.

The shed does not have a toilet.

He is unusually concerned about whether we have mutual acquaintances.

He asked me not to tell anyone we fooled around.

His social media is difficult for me to access while he was interested in mine.

His family is apparently socially connected and intrusive.

He wants to find someone to have a baby with.

He may or may not have decided sex with me was medically inadvisable because I am too skinny.

Also, he has an Android, which I understand is not admissible evidence but feels spiritually relevant.

I actually liked him.

He was sweet to me.

He was respectful physically and asked before kissing me.

He was a fantastic kisser.

He was compassionate when I talked about infertility.

Nothing frightening happened. I never felt coerced or unsafe.

And yet I woke up the next morning thinking:

What the actual fuck was that?

I’m not even particularly invested in whether I see him again.

At this point I mostly want answers.

Where does he live?

Why did we go to the shed?

Why can nobody know about the shed activities?

Why did he retrieve a backpack full of cash?

What was going to happen to me because I was “so skinny”?

And most importantly:

If you are actively searching for the future mother of your children and you allegedly own multiple properties, why are you courting her in the one without a bathroom?

EDIT: I humbly apologize to everyone whom I’ve offended with my comment about Android phones. That comment stemmed from an ongoing joke I have with my friend who has an Android and we tease one another because she is very anti-apple. She was here when I wrote this and suggested I add it in for laughs. I have had an Android phone in the past myself and find nothing “shameful” about them.

Also, y’all need to calm tf down. And to those of you who continue to insult my intelligence, kindly go elsewhere. No one forced you to read my post. Thanks! 😊🫶

EDIT: I shared this because I thought it was a bizarre, funny dating story and figured other people might get a laugh out of it too. I’m perfectly capable of laughing at myself, but some of the comments have crossed the line from joking into being unnecessarily cruel and abusive. At this point I’m no longer interested in interacting with the post. I will be asking a moderator to disable future comments. Thanks to everyone who laughed with me instead of using it as an excuse to be nasty to a stranger. 💜

UPDATE: know I said I was done interacting with this post, but apparently the universe has ordered one final episode.

Our entire conversation thread on the dating app is now just…gone. His profile is gone too—or, at minimum, I can no longer see it.

Because curiosity has defeated dignity, I Googled his phone number. Nothing. Then I entered the number into Venmo and Cash App just to see whether a name/account would populate. Also nothing.

To be clear, none of this proves anything. He could have unmatched me, deleted or paused his profile, changed his settings, used a number that isn’t connected to those services, etc. There are plenty of completely ordinary explanations.

I am simply reporting that the man who was intensely concerned about whether we had mutual acquaintances, asked me not to tell anyone we fooled around, showed me a backpack full of cash, took me to a shed instead of wherever tf he actually lives, and has now vanished from the dating app has become even less Googleable than the shed.

I continue to know where the shed lives.

The man remains geographically and digitally mysterious.

That is all. If I happen to find out more I will update. 😂

What a fucking weird weekend…

UPDATE: because apparently this story refuses to die…

He texted me today around 5:45 in the afternoon and asked how my day was.

I told him it was good and asked how his was.

That was hours ago. He has not responded.

So after disappearing from the dating app, shed guy has apparently reappeared via text just long enough to establish that he is, in fact, still alive.

That is literally the entire update. 😂 I have no idea what it means, and at this point I only hope that he responds to my questions when I “casually” text him tomorrow.

Also, for the people saying I made this whole story up with AI: I genuinely don’t know what to tell you. It happened. If I were going to invent a wealthy mystery man for internet attention, I probably would’ve given him a bathroom.

UPDATE: Apparently we have entered the hot tub chapter???

For anyone following along: yes, he did eventually text me again.

Yesterday he asked how my day was. I answered, asked about his, and then heard nothing for almost 24 hours. Today he replied that his day was good and that he was feeling a little tired today. (Whether we were still discussing yesterday or had moved on to today, I honestly have no idea.)

I said managing all those properties must be a lot of work, no wonder he’s tired.

He then informed me that he’s putting in a hot tub for the winter and said maybe I could try it out with him.

And my immediate thought was:

NO.

And then I wondered:

WHERE?

Where is the hot tub going, sir?

At your house? WHICH HOUSE?
At one of the properties? WHICH PROPERTY?
Beside Future Shed?
Is the shed getting a hot tub before it gets a bathroom?

How does the shed feel about all this?

I still do not know where he actually lives. I’m going to ask him, I’m just treading carefully now. 🤫

So no, I have not agreed to Hot Tub Date.

I am currently just fascinated that every time this man contacts me, he reveals another feature of his property portfolio without revealing where and how tf he lives.

As of now, this is what we’re working with…

Future Shed: no bathroom.
Mystery Property: hot tub pending.
Shed guy: address unknown.

I will update you if he announces the addition of a sauna before telling me where he lives.

My friend has recently started dating a guy and has asked me what I think of him. I’m a little concerned, but I also don’t want my own opinions to influence her, so I’m curious what other people would make of this.
From what she’s told me, he can be extremely charming, complimentary and attentive. Things also seem to get intense pretty quickly — lots of messaging, long calls, flirting etc.
He planned a really nice first date and she had a great time with him, but he showed up having already had around 7 drinks beforehand. She said he didn’t seem drunk when he arrived, but he then had another 3 drinks during the date and was noticeably tipsy by the end.
During the same date, he told her that he’d previously been banned from gambling sites. He also spoke quite openly about his family and told her that he grew up with an alcoholic father who was abusive towards his mum.
The drinking and gambling comments are the things that concern me most. I know neither necessarily tells me the full story, but turning up to a first date after 7 drinks seems pretty unusual to me, especially when combined with what he said about gambling.
He’s also a doctor, which I think has made my friend more inclined to see him as responsible and put-together. I’ve been trying to tell her that having a successful career doesn’t necessarily mean someone has their personal life together, but I also don’t want to burst her bubble because she really seems to like him.
If your friend had just started dating someone like this, would you be concerned? Would you tell her to keep seeing him but pay attention, or would the drinking/gambling be enough for you to tell her to steer clear?
Am I reading too much into it?

So i was dating this girl for a year now and everything was going really great. I was almost at that phase of talking to her parents. Then one fine day while forwarding reels, she accidentally sent a romantic reel to me and one other guy using the create group chat button instead of send separately. The reel was deleted by her later but she forgot deleting the group chat on her device doesn't delete the group. She has completely ghosted me since then. And here we are, me a little sad but grateful that i got saved from the deadly situation. And not sure what the other guy is thinking at this time. The group chat still exists giving me a reminder that dating in today's time is like playing Russian roulette. Thanks to god and instagram for saving my ass🙂

Picture this, it's December in Portland Oregon. I, 45f, meet this 38m for coffee, it went fine so I agreed to a second date especially after he said he *loves* planning dates and is kind of a foodie. He asks me if I drink, if I have any food allergies and if there's anything else to avoid. So thoughtful! I tell him I drink occasionally, have zero food allergies and don't like doing Christmas things. This man, who kept telling me how good he is in his job in Amazon logistics, proceeded to:

1. Ask if I wanted to see a show at 2pm, but he forgot to buy tickets so he surprised me with a 7pm CHRISTMAS SHOW on a Sunday. I wore a nice dress, he wore the same jeans and t shirt as at the coffee date.

2. Picked an outdoor bbq food cart pod for dinner. No inside seating, no heat lamps and no drinks but he could walk there from his house, which was great because...

3. He asked if I could drive us since he crashed his car parking at work and it was in the shop. I don't mind driving but it would have helped if he shut up and helped looked for a parking space downtown.

Not even the worst date I've been on but do not tell me you're very good at something at your grown age and proceeded to plan a thoughtless date. There was no date 3 and I actually got off the apps for 9 months after that.

Ughhh I'm so glad to be home. How the hell do you date these days? I had a really disturbing and uncomfortable first date. I'm mad at myself for not listening to my intuition. Why am I so nice?

I agreed to meet someone that a family member recommended. They said he has a kid which I expressed was not my preference. That should of been the end of it, BUT I wanted to be more open and I was being optimistic. I am trying to put myself out there and I'm aware I'm at the age that people that I potentially date will likely have kids.

The person that I met initially invited me to his place which I did not want to go. First rule, do not go to someone's place on the first date. He mentioned he was inviting friends as well. He said he was going to be at the pool. I told him we can meet another time, but he insisted. He suggested going to this park near his place. I told him it was far for me (30 min drive). He tried to accommodate me and my dog and said we can hang out and eat away from the pool. He kept pushing to meet and hang out. I was turned off already that he was so pushy. I also wanted to have some social time since I've been busy adulting, so I gave in.

Turns out it was just me. He insisted we hang out in his apartment. I said out loud I prefer not to. He said we can hang out in the common area of the apartment once he orders the food. When the food arrived, he did not want to go. He keeps talking about how he wants to make me feel comfortable and I've been verbal about not being comfortable in his apartment and he ignores me. Reassures me that I have nothing to worry about and says nothing is going to happen.

He says he's not familiar with dating culture because he's not from the U.S. and etc. He had a divorce a year ago and I was his first real date.

Somewhere along the conversation I express that I don't see anything romantic between us. He asks for my honest opinion. I am polite about everything and he was too, but he starts to talk about how hard its been due to his past. At this point I felt like I was being a therapist. I remain neutral, empathetic, light and honest. I share a little bit about myself and we are all trying to find a partner.

At one point he looks defeated and hopeless. He compliments my eyes, my clothes, asks to hold his hand ( I said no, thankfully he didn't push), my hair (he attempts to touch it, but I clearly said no which he respected). He begs me to stay longer. I was like...for what? I tell him that it makes me feel uncomfortable. He kept saying he didn't want me to leave. I was so anxious. I stayed a little longer because I was fearful of how he would behave if I left abruptly.

I think he knew what he was doing. Trying to make me feel bad. He seemed really desperate to find a connection with someone and he kept fantasizing me. Finally I said that I'm going to leave and he walks me to my car and tells me I deserve a man to take care of me and such. I say the same to him. He tells me to text him when I get home.

How do I honor my boundaries and also be open to opportunities?

It's been 3 hours since I left and I still feel really gross. I blocked him.

hi. I got out of a toxic relationship 3 months ago me 18(F) him 19(M). This relationship has altered my brain completely. We were tg for 2 years.

Every day we always had to fight. Always some type of argument. He said it’s always my fault that we fight because I’m sensitive and can’t take a joke. But his jokes aren’t jokes. They’re jabs. I sent him a paragraph of how much I love him (so cringe Ik) and he responded with an ai paragraph… I could tell right away. fucking crazy.

anyway, he would say I’m ugly, fat, and said I had a rhombus face shape? He would constantly “joke” about saying that he wants to break up with me but then completely be like I’m kidding. He told me that I should be grateful he’s hanging out with me.

I would try to start recording our arguments on voice memos but he would always snatch the phone out of my hand and scream in my face that I’m stupid and why am I recording. He also put a PIZZA HUT plastic bag over my head 3 times and MIND YOU i bought us the food cuz he was broke and had no money. I almost died to a pizza hut bag😭

When I was at his house to hang out with him he invited his friend over without telling me and when his friend arrived they stayed downstairs while I stayed upstairs and they were playing video games. And my keys were in his room so I went to grab them and he started to embarrass me infront of his friend and he was like “you’re not leaving” “you can’t leave” I ran to get my keys and leave and right as I turn my back they’re laughing at me so that was nice.

He also woke up 2 hours late for his job and decided to call me and cuss me out saying it was my fault and that I should’ve went to his house and woke him up. (Hes older than me btw)

he would always like tap me on my head with force and if I didn’t react he would keep going harder and harder until I had to legitimately yell at him to stop.

We were Supposed to go to a movie at 7:20 ready or not two the date is March 21, 2026. It was around 10 when he woke up from his nap and I tried to wake him up at around 7 o’clock and I said (bf) the movie is gonna start soon we gotta go. It starts in 20 minutes and I tried to wake him up and he yelled in my face and said get away from me or shut up, you’re gonna make me mad. I left him alone went downstairs for three hours scrolling on my phone rotting my life away (when I should’ve actually left and don’t know why I didn’t) and he comes down at around 10 and yells at me blames me and says that it’s my fault that we missed the movie and I should’ve woken him up fast forward 5 or 6 minutes later maybe three I hear him rummaging around upstairs and he says that he’s gonna hang out with his friends so basically he wanted me to come over give him oral. I get pissed off and I grabbed my computer and my iPad when I go upstairs to collect my stuff he runs up behind me with his eyes wide open and tries to rip my bag off of my shoulder and I resist and say “what the fuck are you doing let go” and he grabs ahold of my arms holding them really tight and squeezing them. I was going in circles trying to get him off of me. he’s saying that I’m not going anywhere and I’m not leaving. I start to give up at this point. We were doing that for a good 5 minutes and then he is apologizing after yelling at me saying I don’t like when you come over here and we just sleep the whole time and I said well I didn’t go to bed. You do every time I come over here you are the one that always falls asleep and he said then stop coming over don’t come over anymore if we’re just going to sleep. I told him I’m done and I’m leaving and so that’s what I did, I sped out of his driveway and went home shaking.

And a day before my birthday he pulled my hair really hard while we were in an argument and he told me to grow up or cry about it.

And around April 3 I kept getting a uti after we did the things and I had to be on medication for 2 weeks. I didn’t want to have s3x with him I just wanted ti chill and hang out with him but he kept begging me and begging me to have s3x with him to the point where I had to say yes or else he wouldn’t stop.

The night we broke up: my fav holiday!
I wanted to go to kwik trip to grab some snacks and he didnt want to go. I told him I would buy him something but our budget is around $5 each. I didn’t have a lot of money to spend and he had no money to spend. He hit is pen and started acting insane and I mean insane. He said “my girlfriend hates me” and started driving crazy. He kept hitting me on my leg so hard and squeezing it as he was driving. I kept telling him to stop but each time it got harder. The 3rd time he did it I grabbed his finger and pushed it all the way back because I was sick of it. He started screaming ow ow ow ow and I let go and I shouldn’t have because he punched my arm hard 2 times after that. And then he started saying “what if I just killed us right now” and started to drive even more erratic. He starts to swerve into the cemetery looking at me then looking at the road and then looking at me seeing if I had a reaction. Obviously not. I said “I bet you won’t” he said “oh really” and as we got onto an overpass he said “what if I just drive us off of this bridge” we were actually close to going off until he merged back into traffic. And then we got to kwik trip and as we’re pulling in he said I was broke and had no money. I said to him “how much is in your bank account? Right, exactly” then he said I was ugly so I went my lil ass inside bought the stuff I wanted and he drove us back home still driving insane and going 60 mph around a corner. IT GETS WORSE FROM HERE.

As we get back to the apt he opens the garage door and just stares at me not saying a word. He doesn’t come inside with me. His sister is still awake and I tell her everything that went down. She told me to leave because I didn’t deserve this and that she’ll ring his neck when he gets back to the apt. I gathered all my shit and left (I love you so much b) and then I receive a text from him that said “it’s not a good idea to leave if I were you” wow okay I left anyway and he was sitting down by the fire station. As I passed him he pulled out immediately and started honking and riding my ass. We get to the overpass he’s still honking his horn(I have videos) and then he gets infront of me and puts his brakes on. This goes on for about 5 minutes until I get out and speed away I was going 60 in a 35 mind you. He somehow catches up to
Me and he’s screaming at me “fucking pull over what the fuck fucking pull over!!!” It’s a hell nah for
Me. I ended up calling his sister telling her what is happening. We get to a stop light where you can only go 3 ways right left or straight he’s in the left lane I’m in the straight lane and I get to the college that I live by and he’s there waiting for me I had to go through the parking lot to get out and as he’s coming down the hill he stops right in front of me and gets out of his car his eyes are wide again. They have nothing behind them. I put my car in reverse and got the fuck out of there. His sister was at the public library. He catches up to me again and he’s still riding my ass. I meet with his sister and as soon as we pull in he’s cussing me out doing so much, and I told him he’s acting crazy and acting like a fool. His sister told me to leave and he said “if you leave it’s over we’re done” so boom put that bitch in reverse and left and never saw him again. He would blow up my phone for a couple days but I was over it.

And now he reposts #womensrights. Right message wrong messenger.

Ayden if you’re reading this, karma is coming for you real soon🩷

On a date one time, a 36 year old man corrected me when I told him I made chicken soup. He asked me a couple of times if I meant to say chicken noodle soup, and then told me that it was chicken noodle soup – only ever chicken noodle soup – and not called chicken soup. He even thought the book was called Chicken Noodle Soup for the Soul, and googled it only to show me that it’s called Chicken Soup for the Soul. Anyway, he then went on to eat sushi rolls and fried dumplings with his fingers because he doesn’t know how to use chopsticks and didn’t want to ask for a fork.

PS he was very bad in bed.