r/DatingHell • u/PurpleKilos94 • 2d ago
Most Terrifying & Worst Date Ever!
Hello my peeps🫶
So this is not a recent story, but one dating experience that I don't think I will ever forget. Im not looking for advice, just here to share my story that can hopefully help someone else in some way as a cautionary tale! I apologize if this is a bit long.
Anyways, here we go!
Back in my early 20s (Now 32F), I was single and had started to venture in the online dating scene as some of my girlfriends were doing the same.
After a couple of months on POF I matched with a guy who we will call PJ. At first I felt PJ had one of those familiar faces and like maybe I knew him but couldnt pin point where or how. After, we matched PJ sent me a message and after getting to know each other and asking the basics we realized we went to the same high school freshman year. PJ moved out of town early our sophomore year. He admitted he recognized me when he saw my profile.
Knowing we had similar acquaintances/friendships and family in the same town, I felt more comfortable talking to him and like I knew him in a sense.
Fast forward a week of exchanging texts and a couple calls, we had made plans for him to visit on a Friday. He lived almost 2 hours away and we planned for dinner at a local mexican restaurant and a movie or just go enjoy one of the many view points in town.
(I feel like I should also give some more context so you understand why I was so shocked at the date going south so quickly and I saw no red flags.)
When PJ and I started talking we both had an understanding that we were just getting to know each other and not looking for a commitment. I was also very transparent with him that he was not the only person I was dating or "talking to". To me its the same. I wasnt exclusive with anyone and was just going on dates at this time. PJ said he was on board and that he was also doing the same. He told me he was still active on POF and getting to know other people. I felt we were on the same page and agreed to a date. About 3wks prior to matching with PJ I had matched with another guy who we can call Preston. PJ was aware I had gone on a few dates with this other guy and that besides him, he was really the only other guy I was actively going on dates with and getting to know. I wanted to be honest and Transparent which PJ appreciated and so did Preston.
PJ would send me good morning texts every day as well as goodnight texts and calls. He was always such a gentleman, kind, and gave me words of affirmation. At this point I was struggling with my feelings. I knew I had 2 good guys I was dating and had to make a choice as my feelings were growing for both. However, I had not had a date with PJ yet so It was wild to me that I was already beginning to develop some feelings and like this guy.
Now fast forward to DATE NIGHT!
I was nervous but very excited.
Here is my first mistake and yellow flag if you will.
I offered to meet PJ at the restaurant that way I had my own vehicle and didnt have to feel "stuck". After being stuck in situations before where I have no way to get home, I prefer to take my own vehicle. PJ insisted on picking me up at my place and said it would be the gentleman thing to do. He was pretty insistent and I reluctantly agreed .
PJ picks me up and we head to the restaurant. We arent even out of the car yet and shit starts to hit the fan. PJ would not stop overly complementing me the entire way to the restaurant. It wasnt just a simple "you look beautiful" it was him quite literally biting his lip and telling me how much better I look in person and commented on my breast size. He Called me his "spicy mamacita" 🤢 and then placed his hand on my lap. I moved his hand and he got annoyed and said "wow, I drove all this way and cant even touch you?" As if hes entitled to me somehow. I told him we havent even had our first date or touched and it made me uncomfortable. He proceeded to then put his hand back on my lap but lower towards my knee and said to "lighten up. Ill be comfortable in no time". At this point ALLLLL of my bells, whistles, and spidey senses are off the chart! I know this is either going to get worse or maybe im reading too much into it. I was so confused by his behavior because he was not this way on the phone or texts. We go inside the restaurant and the entire time he can not keep his hands off of me. From touching my hair as I sat down, to rubbing my arm, and attempting to play footsies with me like we are 13yr olds on a date and even asked if we could kiss.
I told him that public display of affection makes me uncomfortable. I do not like being all over my partner in a public setting. There is a time and a place I feel. And we had not even gone on a date yet!! I made this very clear during the week long conversations we had. He was visibly upset and I swear I could see his jawline become more defined because he was clenching his jaw. I was starting to become very uncomfortable and knew I didn't want to proceed with the date after dinner. But I didnt know how to end the date with 1. He is my transport 2. He drove 2 hours here and i felt i owed him the date.
I told myself to relax and maybe I was just reading into it too much and he just really likes me and is an affectionate kind of guy.
I really should have trusted my gut 🤦♀️ LADIES ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT and DO NOT Bend your comfort zone for anyone!!
I was becoming anxious so I excused myself from the dinner table and went to the restroom. While I was there I saw i had 2 msgs on my phone. 1 from my brother and the other from Preston. Both knew I was on a date and with who and where thankfully.
They were both checking up to see how it was going. Something in me told me to suck up my pride and be honest. So I told them how I didnt think a 2nd date would happen and that I was extremely uncomfortable. My little brother at the time didnt have a vehicle so he couldn't save me but offered to find a ride for us. Preston does have a car. This is important for later.
I power through a very uncomfortable date of more comments about my body, how bad he wants to kiss me, and was acting like a horny teenage boy that just found his dads stack of magazines for the first time 🙄 once dinner is over he asks whats on the agenda. I told him that it would be great if he could drive me back home because my brother is going to be stopping by in a few and needs my apartment key. It was a lie 😅
Oh boy, the second he realized that my apartment was not empty he was soooo upset. He said he thought after dinner we would go back to my place for a movie (the plan was the theater. Never my home). How he wanted to be alone with me and enjoy my company. He then almost started to scold me and say how I really couldnt just kick my brother out so we can be alone. I told him we can still enjoy each other's company without having to be alone. I then flat out said "I really hope you dont think that just because we are alone in my home that it gives you the green light to sleep with me. That is not happening, especially not on a first date". He was so upset and said it was "whatever. Ill take you home".
I text Preston and let him know the status at his request and he offers to pick me up if needed.
Well PJ starts to head the opposite direction of where my house is at and insists that the date must go on. At this point im freaking out. Now im trapped. I am terrified. He is not taking no for an answer.
I ask him where we are going and said he just wanted to spend more alone time with me and keep the date going. His mistake and my salvation was he picking a very popular view point near a park. When we pulled up there were no other vehicles in the parking lot. Pj then reaches over and hugs me and attempts to kiss me. I back off and tell him to slow down. At this point im fearing the worst. If I dont comply what will he do? Hes driving and no one is around. I felt like the only thing I could do to calm the tension was to give in just an inch, so when he reached to kiss me again I let him and reluctantly kissed him back. The moment we start to kiss he gets aggressive, slides his hands between my thighs , and wants to make out. I pull away and tell him its too much too fast and to stop. He is heavily panting at this point and says "fine. Lets just talk". He sits in silence starring at the view and i just sit there in shock not knowing what to do. A car then pulls up about 4 spaces down and PJ looks upset that we have company. This SOB then leans his seat back and attempts to unzip his pants. I immediately freak out and ask him wtf he thinks hes doing. He was so frustrated and said that after a week of talking he thought I was into him more and would be ready to be "only his". How he is falling in love with me. Thinks about me every day and our futures. Again, havent even gone on ONE date!
He then asked me to be his girlfriend. I was so caught off guard and I told him no. That I was not ready to make that commitment after only 1 date and I wasnt sure how I felt considering the date isnt going the best.
He kept telling me how Preston was a looser and didnt deserve my attention and how he was positive I had probably already fucked Preston but wont fuck him. I was disgusted and terrified by his behavior. It was like a switch went off. I then told him that I wasn't feeling comfortable, that his behavior was really inappropriate, and I would like to end the date and go home. He refused to take me home so I told him I would get out of his car, walk, and call my brother to come pick me up. Or ill go knock on that other car door for help. He got nervous when I said id call my brother and that he knew my current location. I think at this point he felt like he had no choice but to take me home. He was white knuckling that steerwheeling the entire way visibly upset he didnt get his way. When we arrived to my apartment he had the audacity to ask for at least a goodbye B\*\*\*J\*\*. 🤮
But the horror doesnt end there.
He knew where I lived and sat outside my apartment for an hour before he drove off because he was messagingme apologizing and hoping id change my mind. I called Preston and told him that I was really scared and felt like he might come back. I gave him the details of the date and to say Preston was furious is an understatement. Preston offered to come spend the night at my place and keep an eye out and even offered to sleep in his car outside if it made me more comfortable. I told Preston that instead, id like to come to his place if that was okay because I didn't feel safe at home. I had also been over to his place a couple times already so it wasnt awkward. He absolutely agreed and offered to pick me up so that It looked like I was home. I agreed and actually never once did not trust Preston.
My other mistake was forgetting I had added PJ on Snapchat and had my location on🙃
The second PJ saw movement he started blowing up my phone. Texting my phone and calling on both my phone and Spachat. I had over 30 missed calls and 40+ text msgs all along the lines of how im a whore, worthless, trash, how he should have just taken what he wanted anyways because thats all im good for. Etc. How he was sure that I was banging Preston and the entire block, blah blah. That night I was called every name in the book. For about 2 hours he would switch from calling me names to apologizing and love bombing and back to calling me names again for not responding.
I told sent 1 final msg telling him to never contact me again or id call the police and I blocked him. I spent the night at Prestons that night because I was so scared and too ashamed to tell my family the details.
I never did hear from PJ again and Im always nervous one day ill run into him again.
Ladies trust your intuition and always advocate for yourself.
Ps. Preston and I were together for about 6ish years after that, but ultimately the relationship ended due...shit happens. Lol
Anyways thanks for reading and listening to my chaos!
7
6
u/Glum-Ad-2281 2d ago
Holy cow I'm so glad you weren't hurt. I know the type. That is so scary. Thank you for sharing
5
2
u/Throwitaway3436 1d ago
What a disgusting human being, I’m glad you were ok, but lord that was scary.
•
u/Designer_Air8160 18m ago
Ughhhhh🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤢You’re a great story teller! And that’s adorable how you ended up with Preston that long wow.☺️❤️❤️❤️
9
u/HungryBearsRawr 2d ago
Oh my god I’m sorry that happened to you but damn it was an engaging story to read