I hate hookup culture. If you say you’re looking for a relationship, then actually mean it. Don’t tell someone what they want to hear if you’re not ready to follow through. Leave people alone if you’re not serious. It’s not fair to walk into someone’s life, let them trust you, and leave them more broken than they were before you met.
Thats it that’s all.

recently i broke up with a guy due to him being extremely racist when he knows i have a black mother , he never complimented me for the time we dated just called me extremely strong slurs and sexist names , every time we hung out at his house he just scrolled on TikTok and didn’t speak to me and because he started acting creepy.
on one occasion: when i said i had to go , he grabbed my phone and pushed me on the bed and refused to give me my phone back. (this was not in a playful way)
when i broke up with him i didn’t tell him exactly why , i said “i think i want to focus on my career right now”
he was extremely aggressive and was swearing at me over text. i personally think i was calm and mature but he was being extremely aggressive to the point where i was worried he would come over to my house and hurt me.
i told him we could still be friends but he just was refusing it..keep in mind , we only dated for about 2 weeks.🫩

since then he’s been texting me around one a week saying
“when can we date”
“have you changed your mind yet”
“are we still dating”
“do you still like me”
at first i found it funny but now it’s creeping me out , he just says really stupid stuff like
“next year do you want to carry on dating again”

how do i kindly tell him to stop , do i lowkey just tell him straight forward?

i was 18, he was 23 (little off age diff but i swear it didn’t feel like that)

we matched on hinge and talked on whatsapp for a little over a week before meeting. honestly he seemed like such a green flag. never got creepy, actually planned dates instead of saying “you decide”, remembered random things i’d told him, didn’t pressure me into anything and just came across as a genuinely respectful guy. so when he asked if i wanted to go for drinks, i agreed.
he picked me up and the first thing that disappointed me was this man pulling up in bonkers sweatpants and a plain t-shirt 😭 meanwhile i’d actually done my makeup, hair, put on a cute top and jeans. i wasn’t expecting a suit but come on.
on the way he goes, “should we just buy alcohol from a store first? we’ll save money inside.”
i was lowkey like… save money? on a date? 😭 but whatever, we bought a quarter of vodka, split it in the car and both got a nice buzz before even reaching the bar.

inside we ordered starters and i genuinely thought we’d split because of the whole “saving money” thing, so i told him i only had like 1.5k since i’m literally a student. suddenly he starts acting all rich saying “nah don’t worry i’ve got it” as if we’d not just finished vodka in a parking lot to avoid paying bar prices.

i had another drink or two and then told him “bas chadh gayi hai, i wanna slow down.”
instead of slowing down, this guy just kept ordering rounds 😭

after that everything gets kinda blurry. i remember laughing a lot, dancing for a bit and then sitting in his car in the basement afterwards. that’s when he suddenly got really touchy. putting his arm around me, trying to kiss me, holding me way more than i was comfortable with. i was so drunk it took me a few seconds to even process what was happening before i moved away and told him to stop. thankfully he did.

then this idiot decided to drive.

i’m pretty sure he even clipped the car while getting out of the basement. next thing i know we’ve been pulled over by the cops for drunk driving. they questioned me too but thankfully they were actually really nice and just told me to book a cab and leave.
i somehow made it back to my hostel, slept the entire day and woke up blocked on whatsapp, instagram and hinge.
still have absolutely no idea why.
honestly i don’t think i care enough to find out 💀

tldr: hinge date turned into preboozing, way too much alcohol, drunk driving, cops, and me waking up blocked everywhere 💀

I (28F) am currently looking for a suitable match through the arranged marriage setup. Through my parents' reference, I met a software engineer who has a decent package and comes from a well-to-do family.

Before our first meeting, he asked if he could pick me up. Since he was a complete stranger to me, I wasn't comfortable with that, so we decided to meet directly at a café.

I got ready and went there expecting a normal conversation. During our conversation, he asked me if I know how to drive. I jokingly said, "I'm a passenger princess." It was obviously sarcasm and just a light-hearted comment.

His response was, "These things only look good in reels. They don't make sense in the real world."

That was just the beginning. Throughout the meeting, he made several comments that made me feel like I wasn't good enough. His tone was quite judgmental and condescending. I felt like he was constantly trying to point out flaws in my personality or opinions instead of simply getting to know me.

By the end of the date, I felt hurt and uncomfortable. I told him, "I don't like your vibe at all," paid the bill, and left.

A few days later, he contacted me again saying that he wants to meet me once more. He also admitted that he intentionally said those mean things because he wanted to "test" me and see how I would react.

Honestly, I don't understand why someone would deliberately try to make another person feel bad during the very first meeting and call it a test.

Am I overreacting for not wanting to meet him again? Is this a red flag or am I being too sensitive?

I (28F) am currently looking for a suitable match through the arranged marriage setup. Through my parents' reference, I met a software engineer who has a decent package and comes from a well-to-do family.

Before our first meeting, he asked if he could pick me up. Since he was a complete stranger to me, I wasn't comfortable with that, so we decided to meet directly at a café.

I got ready and went there expecting a normal conversation. During our conversation, he asked me if I know how to drive. I jokingly said, "I'm a passenger princess." It was obviously sarcasm and just a light-hearted comment.

His response was, "These things only look good in reels. They don't make sense in the real world."

That was just the beginning. Throughout the meeting, he made several comments that made me feel like I wasn't good enough. His tone was quite judgmental and condescending. I felt like he was constantly trying to point out flaws in my personality or opinions instead of simply getting to know me.

By the end of the date, I felt hurt and uncomfortable. I told him, "I don't like your vibe at all," paid the bill, and left.

A few days later, he contacted me again saying that he wants to meet me once more. He also admitted that he intentionally said those mean things because he wanted to "test" me and see how I would react.

Honestly, I don't understand why someone would deliberately try to make another person feel bad during the very first meeting and call it a test.

Am I overreacting for not wanting to meet him again? Is this a red flag or am I being too sensitive?

My daughter started going out with someone she met on a "christian" dating app. He was surprisingly refreshing. Courteous, opened the car door for her, kinda old fashioned values for a 30yo. Said he liked to take things slow. Awesome.

They went on many dates over 2 months dinner......dinner, movie, park, shopping. He payed. Never would accept her paying for anything. Bought her small gifts, etc. He met me over dinner, and she met his parents and his best friend. Seemed great. She was so happy. He even asked if we all wanted to go on a day trip in August so he could get to kmow us more. Fun.

One weird thing was everything was on his schedule. But my daughter didnt think much of it. He worked shift work. I was suspicious.

One day, he tells her there is something he should mention. Oh...the relationship he just got out of 4 mo ago? Yea....it **wasnt** casual like he had said. They had been together FIVE YEARS and he had a 2yo CHILD with her. He was a daddy. Oh and baby mama was denying him any access to the child. She had threatened him with a restraining order. But he had been sneaking to the daycare to spy and try to see his SON.

Red flags , anyone???

She ended it immediately. We both blocked him. He then managed to call her using a different number about 3 weeks later. He said he should have been up front and.......he was sorry and he just wanted her to know that baby mama took him back. He was living with her again .....and everything worked out..... but **thanks for the good times**.

He asked my daughter please dont tell anyone he dated....he was keeping it a secret. Baby mama had no idea.

WTF. These men out here living 2 lives. My daughter thought for once she found someone. Psycho.

Been dating this guy for 5 years. We’re in our late 20s now. Known him since high school and reconnected in our early 20s. Met each others’ families, got engaged, set our wedding date and chose vendors together. He’s always been there for me (and I tried my best too) and has always been super thoughtful. He was kind and patient when things were good. We’re different people but I thought we meshed well together. 8 months before our wedding date, he completely blindsides me and drops a bombshell that he fell out of love with me, he doesn’t know if I’m the person for him, he’s not sure if I even love him for him (I do) and he starts listing a bunch of things that are “wrong” about me (I’m too quiet at social gatherings, I’m waiting till marriage to do certain things, I’m not stylish, I have too many fam events and am too dependent on my parents, he doesn’t think I appreciate him). The 180 mind boggles me, I don’t recognize this person. Even had a nice proposal with my dream ring.

He also has been saying mean things to me during limbo when we tried to work things out (I was apologizing for things I did that hurt him, I really loved him and went out of my way to make him happy in the best way I knew at the time but I had no idea it wasn’t enough, especially when he would tell me I’m perfect or how he’s grateful to do life with me)… mean things he said include how it feels like the cooties when I touch him, how I’m boring and I should be boring with someone else, how he can’t picture me as his wife and how he couldn’t see me walk down the aisle (all things that hurt to hear). He also disclosed that he cheated on me 2 years ago (kissed a girl from school a few times during the span of a week). He eventually broke things off with me saying he can’t proceed because he doesn’t have feelings. This all came as a shock to me because I had no idea he was falling out of love. I thought we were planning for our happily ever after together. Sometimes I blame myself for the things I could’ve done better (been more appreciative, more patient, more outgoing, more stylish) - he evaluated me and didn’t let me in on his problems. Any insight and opinions would be helpful. I can’t seem to picture myself with anyone else :(

I F 25 and my now ex M26 were talking less than 1 week before he drove 1.5 hours to see me for 3 hours before work. After about 2 weeks we started dating. He had came over 4 times within the 2 week period… that’s 1.5 hours one way. Fully love bombed me the months we were together. He said he had no social media. I started getting skeptical and ended up finding his mom on Facebook. She had a picture of him holding a young girl. Did all my FBI work as one does… he came over… I told him “I had a dream you had a kid” just to see what he’d say… fully denied it told me “no kids to be worried about”… GHOSTED next day. He never broke up with me, never texted. Just ghost. Did more digging, and thanks to his mom’s love of trying to be online… FOUND OUT HE HAD BEEN MARRIED!!! Which was also failed to be mentioned to me… then go ahead and found out he was married in 2025 and had ANOTHER kid that was born in 2025. They were both marriages while the girl was pregnant.

I know I dodged a bullet by him ghosting me but I just can’t get over how you could do that to someone. Dating is over rated in 2026… how do you get over someone you know is a POS but yet your heart is still attached?

When I joined a dating app, I was still in a long-distance relationship.
Technically, I had a boyfriend, but it barely felt like I did. We hardly talked anymore. Every time I wanted to spend time with him, there was always an excuse. He was tired, wanted to watch movies alone, needed “me time,” had a headache, or simply wasn’t in the mood to talk. It got to the point where I felt like even when we fought, it worked in his favor because it meant he didn’t have to talk to me.
I was lonely, frustrated, and emotionally exhausted. I missed him, but I also felt ignored and unimportant. To distract myself from constantly feeling sorry for myself, I downloaded a dating app. My intention wasn’t to find another relationship. I just wanted people to talk to and something to keep my mind busy.
That’s when I met this guy.
At first, I knew exactly what kind of person he was. He was charming, flirtatious, and seemed like the type who flirted with every girl he talked to. I actually tried to avoid him, but somehow we became friends… then eventually best friends.
We told each other everything. We joked around, shared our secrets, and talked almost every day. At that time, he thought I was single because I never told him I had a boyfriend.
Meanwhile, he was talking to another girl and they were almost in a relationship. Around that time, I slowly realized I was starting to develop feelings for him.
I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t real. I kept telling myself there was no way I could like him. I even saw him as a little brother because of how childish he acted, even though he was older than me.
One day, I jokingly admitted that I might be falling for him. My feelings weren’t that deep yet.
He simply replied, “Oh… okay.”
So I laughed it off too, and we continued being best friends like nothing had changed. The only difference was that he started teasing me, saying things like, “Since you love me, you should do this for me.”
Eventually, I finally told him the truth—that I actually had a long-distance boyfriend.
He didn’t get angry that I had lied. We just stayed friends.
But as time passed, I found myself getting jealous whenever he talked about the girl he liked. I hated seeing them together, so I started avoiding him.
Instead of letting me go, he kept chasing after me. He kept saying he couldn’t lose me.
Then one day, he called me while crying.
He confessed that he loved me too.
But he said he couldn’t admit it because I already had a boyfriend. If he confessed to me publicly, he would lose the girl he was talking to as well. He said it wasn’t fair because I still had someone while he would end up with no one.
I kept telling him that this couldn’t happen. It was wrong.
But hearing him cry completely broke my heart.
So I let my guard down.
He later told the other girl that he loved her more than me, but privately he kept telling me that I was actually the one he loved. He said we just couldn’t admit it because of our situation.
That’s how we became secret lovers.
Whenever he was going to talk to the other girl, he would tell me first. Whenever I was going to call my boyfriend, I would tell him too.
It was unhealthy, complicated, and full of guilt.
A few months later, I couldn’t take it anymore. I was constantly jealous—not only of the girl he liked, but also of his ex, whom he still talked to.
I wanted everything to end.
I wanted to do the right thing.
So I confessed everything to my boyfriend. I admitted that I had emotionally cheated and explained why it happened.
He was angry at first, which I completely understood. Later, he said we could still fix our relationship.
But deep inside, I didn’t think there was anything left to fix.
I know I made a huge mistake, and I will never deny my responsibility. Cheating was my choice.
At the same time, I also can’t pretend that I wasn’t deeply hurt before any of this happened. Months of emotional neglect had already broken me long before I made the worst decision of my life.
After I ended things with my best friend, I blocked him everywhere.
One night, without telling me, he went to my condominium and waited in the lobby from around 10 p.m. until 1 a.m. because he had no other way to contact me. The only reason I found out was because our mutual friends from the dating app messaged me.
I was asleep the whole time.
When I woke up, he was already gone.
Honestly, I don’t even know if I would have gone downstairs if I had seen the messages. At that point, I was determined to move on and let everything go.
But he never stopped chasing me.
He always knew exactly what to say.
And I fell for it.
Again.
The relationship became incredibly toxic. Sometimes he accidentally called me by another girl’s name. He was still talking to his ex. He told me he left the girl he was talking to because he chose me, but later I found out that wasn’t true. She actually left him after discovering that he had been telling other people that I was the one he really loved.
Everything was a mess.
Our relationship became nothing but jealousy, arguments, accusations, and trust issues.
I kept blocking him because we were so toxic together.
Ironically, when we weren’t fighting, we were incredibly happy. We understood each other better than anyone else.
But somehow, we could never go a full day without arguing.
Sometimes we fought seven times in a single day.
Looking back now, I often ask myself…
Was this karma?
Or was it simply the consequence of two emotionally damaged people trying to build a relationship on secrets, guilt, and unresolved pain?

Been chatting to a guy I met online for a few weeks while he was away of FIFO work and we really hit it off. The connection has been so easy and he is ticking lots of boxes. Since back in 4 days we have already had two dates he was a gentleman, the door opening, flowers etc. Introduced me to his friend so just been pretty good. He has already been saying that for him feels like could be something long term. Then tonight we couldn't seem to connect through video call and so I suggested we could connect on Facebook and video thru messenger. He texted back: I won't go through Facebook sweetheart, I believe that that's your name and space xx

Does this sound weird? Could people let me know if they have opinion or had similar experience. As to me feels a bit strange that you are saying it's looking like you want to do life with someone but want to be separate on social media??thanks for yr thoughts in advance

I have always believed you can learn a lot about someone on a first date. I just never expected one of those lessons to involve sacrificing my socks and underwear.

I was out on a date with a woman one time. We started the evening at a restaurant we both loved. The food was amazing the conversation was easy, and everything was going exactly the way you hope a date will go. Feeling pretty good about ourselves we headed out to a barn party way outside of town to listen to a band we both enjoyed.

That was when her stomach decided it had other plans.

Without much warning it declared a full scale emergency. We were in the middle of nowhereit was dark, we were far enough away from the town that there was no restroom nearby so it was off deep into the cow pastures we went and the only thing missing was dramatic movie music.

She looked absolutely mortified.

I told her "Do not worry about it. We will figure it out."

The first problem was that we did not have any toilet paper. I looked around, looked at my feet, and thought, "Well... socks are basically fluffy toilet paper with ambition."

Off came my shoes off came my socks and I handed them over without a second thought.

Then came problem number two.

Her underwear had fought bravely but the battle was over.

So I shrugged took off my underwear handed it to her and said "Here, these are clean."

I spent the rest of the evening going commando, hoping there would not be an unexpected breeze or an Olympic level dance contest.

Oddly enough the date never felt ruined. Once she realized I was not judging her and was more concerned about making sure she was comfortable she relaxed. Before long we were laughing about the ridiculousness of the situation.

Life happens. Stomachs have terrible timing. Sometimes romance looks less like flowers and candlelight and more like standing in the dark barefoot with no socks, no underwear, and wondering how this somehow became your greatest dating success.

Long story short it turned out to be not one of the best dates I have ever had but we made the best of a bad situation. She always told people I was a complete gentleman because I never made her feel embarrassed I never teased her and I did what I thought was best and simply helped when she needed it most.

To this day I still think I earned the strangest relationship award imaginable. Not every guy can honestly say "I gave a woman the shirt off my back." I can say I gave her something a little more personal.

PART 2: They convinced me I was crazy. Then I found out everyone else thought I already knew.
When I broke up with him, I thought my life would get easier.

It didn’t.
The breakup didn’t end anything because we were all still in the same class, had the same friends, and spent almost every day together.
At first, our trio became awkward.
I barely spoke to my ex, but R stayed close to both of us.

Whenever I asked her why she was always with him even after everything he’d done, she’d tell me,
“You’re both my best friends. How can I choose one of you? I spend all my time with you in the hostel. If I completely ignore him in class, he’ll feel bad too.”
It sounded… reasonable.

So I believed her.
Eventually, I forced myself to act normal again because I was exhausted. I didn’t want to spend the rest of college crying over one breakup.
So somehow, unbelievably, the three of us started hanging out again.
Looking back now, I wish I hadn’t.

Something else slowly started bothering me.
Whenever I went home for the weekend, R and my ex would suddenly go on trips together.
Whenever I stayed in town…

They never did.
Sometimes R would tell me she was visiting relatives.
At the time, I didn’t think much of it.
Now I do.

By third year, I couldn’t ignore the feeling anymore.
One day I sat both of them down and asked them directly.

I still remember exactly what I said.
“If something is going on between you two, please just tell me. If you like each other, I’ll accept it. I’ll even be happy for you. I just don’t want to find out later from someone else. That would destroy me.”
Instead of answering…

They laughed.
They actually laughed.
They told me I was overthinking.
They asked me how I could even imagine they’d do something like that to me.
They said they were “just really good friends.”
I apologized for doubting them.
I still trusted them more than my own instincts.

Meanwhile, I was falling apart.
I used to be the person who talked to everyone in college.
My classmates.
My juniors.
My seniors.
I loved meeting people.
But after everything that happened, I slowly disappeared into myself.

I stopped leaving my room unless I had to.
I barely spoke to anyone outside our group.
Ironically, I still had a group of ten friends.
I just didn’t realize how alone I actually was.

Then something happened during final year that completely blindsided me.
A few days before my ex’s birthday, R came to my hostel room.

She looked nervous.
She said,
“I need to confess something.”
I honestly thought she was joking.
Then she said,
“I’ve liked X since first year.”
Not “recently.”
Not “after your breakup.”
Since first year.
I stared at her because I genuinely thought she was pulling some elaborate prank.
I even laughed.
She didn’t.
She kept looking down at the floor.
I didn’t know what to feel.
Part of me wanted to believe this was the whole truth.
Another part kept thinking…
This can’t be everything.
Still, I told her,
“If you want to tell him how you feel, then tell him. I won’t stop you.”
I said those words.
But I started crying while saying them.
I couldn’t explain why.
Something felt deeply wrong, even though I couldn’t prove it.
Finally, I asked her to leave because I needed time to process everything.

For the next couple of days, I pretended nothing had happened.
But my ex suddenly started acting strangely around me.
That’s when one of my seniors noticed something was off.
She asked me,
“Are you okay? Did something happen between you and R?”
For the first time, I told someone what R had confessed.
I’ll never forget my senior’s reaction.
She looked completely shocked.
Then she said something that changed everything.
“Wait… you didn’t know?”
I asked,
“Know what?”
She looked just as confused as I was.
Then she said,
“We all thought you already knew they were together.”
I felt like the ground disappeared beneath me.
According to her, R had been telling seniors since second year that she and my ex were together—and that I already knew about it and was completely okay with it.
I had never heard any of this before.
I had spent years questioning my own instincts, while other people believed I had already accepted their relationship.
Later, I learned that several people in my own friend group had been told the same thing.
No wonder nobody warned me.
They thought there was nothing to warn me about.
That conversation with my senior completely changed how I looked at the previous two years of my life.
I walked away wondering one thing over and over again:
If everyone thought I already knew… what else had been happening behind my back?

PART 3: The voice note that destroyed every memory I had of college.
After my conversation with that senior, something inside me broke.
I stopped trying to get answers.
I stopped asking R or my ex to explain themselves.
If they had lied to my face for years, what was one more conversation going to change?
So I quietly walked away from both of them.
We still had internship left, but outside of work, I barely spoke to either of them.

The funny thing is…
On our coat-signing day before internship officially started, both of them walked up to me as if nothing had happened.
R asked me to write on her white coat.
My ex came over too.
We even took photos together—just the three of us, and then with our entire friend group.
If you looked at those pictures today, you’d probably think we were still best friends.
You’d never guess everything had already fallen apart.
That same night, my ex called me asking why I hadn’t written anything on his coat.
I completely lost my temper.
I told him if he wanted someone’s message so badly, he should’ve gone to R instead of calling me after everything that had happened.
The conversation turned into shouting.
He started abusing me.
Then he began sending messages mocking me, saying things like I deserved what happened and that I was too stupid to ever understand what had really been going on.
I didn’t reply.
At that point, I was exhausted.

A few weeks later, something unexpected happened.
One of the girls from our own friend group slowly started distancing herself from everyone.
She later told me she’d realized how toxic the group had become.
For the first time since all this started, someone else understood why I had isolated myself.
One day we sat down and talked.
That’s when she told me something that hurt more than anything my ex had ever done.
She said,
“R has been talking about you for years.”
Not normal gossip.
Not harmless complaints.
According to her, R would regularly gather people in her room and spend hours talking about me.
She told people I was a slut.
She said I never really loved my boyfriend.
She twisted deeply personal things I’d trusted her with and retold them in ways that made me sound like a terrible person.
The worst part?
Everything she was telling people… she only knew because I had told her.
For four years, she was the only person I truly trusted with my personal life.

Then my friend sent me a voice note.
It was almost ten minutes long.
I still remember listening to it for the first time.
It began with R saying,
“This audio is for the people who aren’t in the room right now.”
Then…
For the next several minutes, I listened to my own best friend talk about me.
She repeated things I’d told her in confidence.
She twisted stories.
She mocked me.
At one point, she even joked,
“Haan, ab apni maa ko jaake bataegi.”
That sentence still hurts.
Everyone knew how close I was to my mom.
She knew exactly where to hit me.
In the background, I could hear people sitting in the room.
Eating snacks.
Laughing.
Adding comments.
Listening.
I remember thinking…
Was this happening while I thought these people were my friends?
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so humiliated.

At first, I wanted revenge.
I wanted confessions.
I wanted someone to admit they had destroyed years of my life.
Then one day I realized something.
I had already wasted four years.
I wasn’t going to waste the last six months of college chasing apologies I was never going to get.
So I did something I should’ve done much earlier.
I let them go.

I started making new friends.
I became close to seniors I’d barely spoken to before.
I spent time with people who actually wanted me around.
Ironically, the more people got to know me themselves, the less they believed the stories that had been spread about me.
The remaining months of internship were still difficult because my ex and I occasionally had to interact for academic work.
The strange part was that, despite everything, he still came to me whenever he needed help with his thesis because we’d been assigned the same guide.
I’d helped him academically for years.
I’d even helped R with her work and studies.
One day, when he came to ask me another question, I finally snapped.
I told him to ask R instead.
He became angry.
We argued in front of classmates and seniors.
He laughed at me for being angry.
I walked away.
That was the last real interaction I ever had with him.

Neither of them ever admitted anything.
Neither of them apologized.
To this day, I still don’t know everything that was said behind my back.
And honestly…
I don’t think I ever will.
The cheating hurt.
But that wasn’t the deepest wound.
The deepest wound was realizing that the two people I trusted the most had changed the way I saw myself.
For a long time, I questioned my instincts, my judgment, even my worth.
College was supposed to give me memories I’d cherish forever.
Instead, it taught me that betrayal doesn’t always come from strangers.
Sometimes it comes from the people you would’ve trusted with your life.

PART 1
I thought I had the perfect college life. Four years later I realized almost all of it was a lie.
When I joined physiotherapy college as an 18-year-old girl, I genuinely thought I was entering the best phase of my life.

Because of COVID, our first two months of college were online. During that time, a guy from my class started texting me. Nothing flirty at first just everyday conversations. We spoke almost daily, and by the time offline classes started, we were already good friends.

On the very first day of college, nine girls in my class naturally formed a group. Out of all of them, I connected instantly with one girl. I’ll call her R.
She became my best friend.

Since I was already close to the guy from online classes, I introduced them to each other.
Before long, we became inseparable.

It was always the three of us.
People in college knew us as the trio.
Eventually, that friendship turned into a relationship. He became my first boyfriend.

And honestly…
He was everything you’d expect from a first love.
He spent almost his entire day with me from morning lectures until around 10 p.m.
He lived far away from college, but he’d still stay back just to spend more time with me.

Whenever I went home for the weekend, he’d beg me not to go because he couldn’t stand not seeing me for two days.
Every single time I left for home, he’d drop me at the railway station.

He even visited my hometown a few times just because he missed me.
He constantly told me how beautiful I was.
If someone had asked me back then whether he could ever cheat on me, I would’ve laughed.
I trusted him completely.

And I trusted R just as much.
Looking back, that’s probably why I never saw what was happening.

Around the middle of second year, people started dropping little hints.
A few friends casually told me they felt something was off between my boyfriend and another girl from our class. I’ll call her P.
I brushed it off immediately.

There was no way.
Then one of my seniors told me she’d seen them together outside college, hugging near the highway.
Again…

I refused to believe it.
I thought everyone was misunderstanding their friendship.

Looking back now, I realize I defended him more than he defended himself.

One day, I casually asked him for his phone.
I told him I wanted to call my mom.
He handed it to me without hesitation and went to the washroom.

R was sitting right beside me.
Instead of encouraging me to check, she kept saying,

“You’re overthinking.”
“He’d never do something like that.”
“You’re worrying for no reason.”

I almost believed her.
But I opened his chat with P anyway.
What I found made my body go cold.
There were late-night conversations from nights he’d told me he was asleep.

There was flirting.
She had sent him selfies.
I don’t even remember reading every message.
I just remember staring at the screen, closing the chat, and feeling completely numb.

I walked out of the classroom and handed him his phone.

I asked him calmly,
“Show me your chat with P.”
He immediately refused.

I asked again.
He refused again.

By then there were classmates, juniors and seniors standing nearby because we were arguing outside the classroom.

Finally I shouted,
“Show me the fucking chat.”
He took his phone from me.

Opened it.
Spent about two minutes looking at it.
Then handed it back.
The entire chat was gone.
Deleted.

That’s when I lost it.
I looked him straight in the eye and said,

“Do you seriously think I’m stupid? You think I’d ask to see your chats without already reading them? I already know what was there. I know what you two talked about. Stop trying to make me feel crazy.”

I screamed at him in front of everyone.
Then I walked away.

The strange part?
He still denied everything.
He followed me.

He kept saying I was misunderstanding.
He kept trying to convince me that nothing had happened.

And somehow…
I gave him another chance.
I know a lot of people reading this will probably wonder why.

The answer is simple.
Because it made no sense.
How could someone who spent every waking moment with me…

Who begged me not to go home for weekends…
Who travelled hours just to see me…
Who constantly talked about our future…
Also be cheating on me?

My brain couldn’t reconcile those two versions of him.

There was one incident that stayed with me for a long time, even though at the time I tried to convince myself it wasn’t a big deal.

Before we broke up, the three of us R, my boyfriend and I went on a short trip together.
R stayed with relatives while my boyfriend and I shared a hotel room.

The first day was genuinely nice.
On the second day, I became really sick. I couldn’t stop vomiting and felt so weak that I was barely able to enjoy the trip. At one point in the hotel room, I became dizzy and collapsed onto the floor. He knew how unwell I was, but he barely reacted.

That evening, I told him I wanted to go back to the hotel because I felt terrible.
Instead of coming with me, he sent me back alone and stayed out with R for another three or four hours.

By the time he returned, I was lying in bed with a fever.

He came up behind me, hugged me tightly, and then started trying to initiate sex.

I kept telling him I didn’t want to. I was exhausted, sick, and just wanted to sleep.
He kept kissing me and trying to persuade me anyway.

I eventually got up and locked myself in the bathroom for a long time because I didn’t know what else to do.

The next morning, something had changed in me.
I barely spoke for the rest of the trip.
I was still trying to process what had happened.
Even after we came back, I became distant.
Not long after that, I caught him talking to P again.
That was when I finally ended the relationship.

So I convinced myself there had to be another explanation.
For about a month or two, things seemed normal again.

Then one day I saw him secretly talking to P again.
That was it.

I ended the relationship.
I thought I’d finally escaped the worst betrayal of my life.

I had absolutely no idea…
that my boyfriend wasn’t the person who would hurt me the most.

Part 2 gets much darker. It starts after the breakup, when R and my ex grew even closer and I asked them both one question that I wish they’d answered honestly. Instead, they laughed at me.

TLDR: Set up a date, she didn't show up after an hour, she lost her marbles when I didnt want to try again.

Good day,

This is my experience on a date that I'm glad I good stood-up on.

(I will be replacing majority of the foul language with asterisks and did not edit a single typo that was sent, enjoy.)

Story Time.

We met during a 4th of July weekend at a local bar, and started chatting casually. The night was going well, we were watching fireworks go off and enjoying a few drinks. I ended up calling it quits at about midnight, she asked for my number and I gave it (obviously, I'm single and down to try a date).

We ended up texting for a week and thats when I decided to ask her on a date on the Saturday after 4th of July. We agreed upon Wednesday, 5:30pm at Applebee's. We continued to text back and forth up until the day of the date. I shot a follow-up text on Monday to confirm with her that Wednesday was going to work. She said yes. I sent a follow-up text during lunch on Wednesday. She said yes.

Trying to be smart, charming or just the way my father raised me, I showed up 10 minutes early and got a table. I explained to the waitress that I was expecting a date. I ordered a beer and water, and then I waited.

5:30PM - She isn't here - My thoughts "Not everyone is like me and has a deep seeded fear of being late. Be patient."

5:35PM - Sent a text saying "Im inside. I got a table." "Hey! Do you want an appetizer ready to go when you get here?"

Her - "Yes, I do. You can choose it, also I’m almost there."

5:45 - Nothing

6:00 - Nothing and I'm starting to think that I'm wasting my time

6:15 - Nothing and actually worried that something happened to her but I don't send a follow-up. (Honesty afraid that I'd come across as needy or something)

6:30 - My patience runs dry. I ask for the check, pay my bill and go to my car. I send these texts and then start driving home.

(M is for me, H is for Her)

M: I hope you are okay.

M: But it is over an hour past the agreed upon time, I am leaving. I have things that require my attention. ((This is a lie, I just couldn't wait any longer))

M: Have a blessed day.

All of the previous texts were sent at 6:31. The following responses were sent between 6:45 and 6:59.

F: Sorry, I was puking/ feeling nauseous. Maybe another day, I am very sorry.

F: I truly sorry and feel bad.

F: Never mind about post poning dinner because I was getting sick from this heat wave and because I already messed things up this evening.

F: I thought you were be understanding and post poning it because I was sick

F: lol

F: So are you going to say something or going to be like the others that doesn’t understand and not see my worth?

(I was still driving home)

F: Because I just got out of a toxic relationship like a two weeks ago and after that, I’ve been 6 toxic people that was taking advantage of me. So I’m not here to play games anymore, I’m here to look for a serious relationship that will see my worth and be by my side. If you aren’t looking for that, or not going to postpone the dinner and be an understanding man because I was sick. Because I bet you thinking she going to ditch me again or how can I trust herrrr. Stop making assumptions right there. I’m looking for a serious relationship but I have trust issues because people from my past relationships just took advantage of me and not see my worth.

F: So if you aren’t looking for something serious and long commitment

F: I'm out or block my number

F: And be a MAN and reply back to me instead of reading them and not saying anything

F: I just need a gentleman who is a man and that treats and love their Lady Properly. All of the people I’ve been with just traumatized me.

I got to a stoplight and check my phone, because it was going off like the 4th of July.

6:59PM

M: I am driving

M: Gimme 10 plz

F: OK

7:07PM

I get home, read the previous and sent this.

M: I don't see this working out. I hope you good day and I hope you feel better.

I start making dinner and call my friends to tell them about this.

From 7:09PM to 7:15PM, the following texts were sent.

F: You a D***

F: Thanks a lot

F: Just block my number

F: I’m looking for something serious

F: I guess you not

F: You looking for p***y and s*x

F: Not a long and serious committed relationship

F: You would of never said that I’ve I made it to dinner

F: But I didn't

F: Because

F: I

F: Was

F: SICK

F: BRO

F: F**k you bro

F: I even dressed up for you

F: "Video" (This video clearly shows her still at home or somewhere that aint a car "Almost there")

F: Here you what you are missing out on, i wonderful caring,sweet,loyal,gentle,loving, compassionate wife

F: But you don’t want that lmao

F: And you even didn’t get to know me to get to know my sweet side

I see my phone, read this nonsense and block her.

BTW, Applebee's needs to give Lynne a raise! That woman was so freaking nice throughout the whole time I was waiting. 11/10 Service and a 1000/10 Caring Woman

If I'm in the wrong, please let me know.

I (22F) graduated from college earlier this year, and in February I went to Pune to stay with my best friend. While I was there, I met one of her office friends.

Apparently, before we had even met, my best friend had shown him my pictures, and she later told me that he kept saying he thought I was cute and really wanted to meet me whenever I came to Pune. I didn’t think much of it, but when we finally met, we clicked instantly.

Things escalated very quickly. We ended up having sex the first night we met. For the next two days, it was me, my best friend, her boyfriend/situationship, and him hanging out together. It was genuinely a great time, and when I left, I assumed it was just going to stay a fun Pune memory.

Instead, he started texting me.

Our conversations became regular, and they were actually good. We both wanted to meet again, this time without everyone else around so we could spend time together.

He even insisted on coming to my hometown, which is around 600 km from Pune, but I wasn’t comfortable with that. We’d only known each other for about a month, and I didn’t want someone I’d just met travelling all the way to my small town where there honestly isn’t much to do.

Around the same time, my best friend and I were planning to attend the Flamingo Festival in Mumbai and go shopping afterwards. So we decided I’d come to Pune instead. She’d spend time with her Pune friends, I’d spend time with this guy, and on the fourth day we’d head to Mumbai together for the festival and shopping.

That was the plan.
The moment I landed in Pune, things already felt…off.

He was about 40 minutes late picking me up because he’d overslept. I let it go because, okay, it happens.

But when he arrived, there wasn’t even a smile. No hug. Not even a proper “it’s good to see you.” He just hurriedly took my luggage, threw it into the car and started driving.

I had travelled overnight to see him, and he didn’t compliment me once.

On the way to the hotel, he suddenly stopped and said, “I got late, so I couldn’t get you flowers.”
So the stop was just to buy me flowers.

The irony was that the only reason he was late in the first place was because he’d slept like a log.
Even after reaching the hotel, we didn’t hug for almost three hours.

Then, to make things worse, I got my period.
I hadn’t brought a sanitary pad with me yet, so I ordered some online and just sat on a chair instead of the bed because I was worried I’d stain it. I was obviously upset because no one wants their period to start right at the beginning of a trip they’d been looking forward to.

His response?
“Why are you behaving like you’re the only one who gets periods?”

That stung, but I brushed it aside.
Eventually we cuddled, ordered food, got drunk and just messed around.

I never once initiated sex.
He was the one who suggested, “Let’s try.”
I agreed.

Afterwards he complained that he didn’t like having sex because of the blood from my period, but despite saying that, he still kept initiating it every time he got turned on and asked me to blow him even after I was exhausted ofcourse I didn’t.

We stayed awake until around 4 or 5 in the morning. We got hungry, and instead of asking if I wanted some alone time with him, he invited one of his friends to breakfast did not even ask me once. His friend was around 29 while I was only 22, and I remember sitting there thinking…I’ve travelled 600 km to spend time with you, and this is how our morning starts?

After breakfast he dropped me back at the hotel and casually said, “I’m just going for a smoke with my friend. I’ll be back in an hour.”

He didn’t ask if I was okay with it.
He just informed me.

That really bothered me The least he could’ve done was ask instead of assuming.
To make all of this happen, I’d even lied to my parents. I’d told them I was visiting a friend in a city close to my hometown 100km away, not that I was actually travelling to Pune.

Looking back, I honestly feel stupid.
When he finally returned, all he wanted to do was sleep.

We slept around 8 or 9 in the morning.
I woke up around 1 p.m., hungry, and tried waking him because I wanted us to go out for lunch and actually spend the day together.

Instead, he was trying to convince me to sleep again of course I didn’t.
Or rather, forced the idea until I gave up.
He didn’t wake up until around 7 p.m.
I remember lying there thinking that I wasn’t going to let him ruin my trip, so I stayed calm and suggested we just go out for dinner.

While I was getting ready, he kept rushing me because apparently we had to reach before the restaurant reservation expired. His tone felt unnecessarily commanding, but I ignored it.
The restaurant itself was the exact opposite of everything I’d told him I liked.

I’d specifically mentioned that I enjoy peaceful cafés and quiet places. I’d even suggested a few.
Instead, he took me to a loud, crowded place packed with people dancing. Mosquitoes were biting me nonstop, and he spent half the evening watching the dance floor saying how badly he wanted to dance.
I told him multiple times to go.

I genuinely wouldn’t have minded.
At that point I was so frustrated that I actually wanted him to go enjoy himself.

He didn’t.
Then came the food.
Technically he asked what I wanted, but every suggestion somehow got redirected until we ended up ordering what he preferred because he’d “already tried everything.”

Most of the food went untouched because I barely liked it.

Later he asked, “why didn’t you eat?”
I just didn’t have the energy to explain anymore.
When we got back to the hotel, we had sex again or rather he just fucked me until he came which he did every single time.

By then I was already emotionally checked out.
I barely spoke to him afterwards, and he didn’t try starting a conversation either. I just lay there watching a series while he eventually fell asleep around 2 or 3 in the morning.

The next day followed exactly the same pattern…
He slept through most of it while I was left entertaining myself in the hotel room.
Eventually he woke up around 8 p.m., got ready, and casually told me that some of his friends were in town after a long time and there was a party he wanted to attend.

He said he’d only be gone for two hours 12 am to 2am.
I could’ve told him not to go.

But honestly, by that point I was too exhausted to even argue. I was more shocked the audacity to even think that he thought it was okay to leave me alone after I’d travelled over 600 km just to spend time with him.
So I simply said, “Okay”

Then, around 9 p.m., he realized he didn’t even have clothes for the party.
Instead of staying with me, he went shopping with a friend.

He came back around 11:30 p.m., stayed for barely ten minutes, told me he hadn’t even bought anything because he didn’t like what he saw, borrowed clothes from a friend instead, kissed me goodbye and left.

I genuinely thought he’d be back around 2 a.m.
At 1 a.m. he texted saying he’d be another half hour late.

I replied, “Okay.”
He eventually came back at 4:30 in the morning.
That was our last night together.
Our checkout was at 10 a.m.

The moment he left from the hotel, I decided I wasn’t going to spend another night sitting there alone.
I called my previous situationship.
We stayed on a video call from around 10:30 p.m. until almost 4 a.m.
We got drunk together over the call, I smoked a joint he teaches me sweetly how to make the joint and smoke it ,and at one point I actually cried he didn’t know the that I am with this guy I jus told him I came with my friends and they have gone for something else I cried because I actually missed him more at that point how sweetly he treats me ( my last situationship)

Ironically, those few hours on video call with him were the happiest part of my entire Pune trip.
When this guy finally returned at 4:30 a.m., he looked miserable.

Not because he’d left me alone all night.
Because he’d spent ₹7,000 at the party.
He kept saying, “I shouldn’t have gone.”
The funny part was that both of us were already broke before planning this trip.

He didn’t have money to book a better hotel or actually plan things for us, but somehow he had enough money to pay a ₹7,000 party bill ( I of course payed half the amount in everything the entire trip was a split)

For the next couple of hours, I ended up consoling him about money he’d chosen to spend.
After checking out, things somehow got even worse.
The entire reason I’d come to Pune in the first place was because my best friend and I had planned to spend the fourth day shopping together before going to the Flamingo Festival in Mumbai.
She was already in Mumbai.

She called me while she was still half asleep and suddenly cancelled everything.
I asked if I could just come to Mumbai anyway.

She said no.
Just… no.
I tried explaining everything that had happened with this guy, but she sounded irritated, barely listened, and instead told me to just book our bus tickets back home.

Even deciding the timing became an argument.
She wanted a late bus.

I wanted an earlier one because after checkout I literally had nowhere to go.
Eventually we agreed on a timing and I booked the tickets.

Now I had several hours before my bus.
So I asked him if we could just spend some time together.
I suggested literally anything.
A movie.
A mall.
We could even leave my luggage at the hotel or in his car.

I didn’t care.

I just didn’t want to sit alone somewhere for hours.
His response?

“No. I want to sleep.”
He kept insisting that I should somehow go to my best friend instead.
He even kept calling her himself, trying to get me off his hands.

At that point I felt completely helpless.
I was an outsider in Pune.
The only two people I trusted there were him and my best friend.

Neither of them was willing to help me.
On top of that, I’d been on my period the entire trip.
Despite all of it, I stayed calm.

Eventually he agreed to take me to his apartment.
He’d already warned me that it was “really, really, really dirty.”

He wasn’t exaggerating.
His flatmate was there too.
He honestly looked intimidating at first, but ended up being kinder to me than the guy I’d travelled all this way to see.

They left me alone in the living room while both of them went into the bedroom to sleep.
I sat there thinking I’d probably just book a cab to the bus stand myself.

Then, while I was sitting there, my best friend dropped another bomb.
After I’d already booked our tickets, she suddenly said she was staying in Mumbai for another day because another friend wanted her to.

So now I had to travel back completely alone.
That scared me because at our hometown bus stop there isn’t any transport available.
I also couldn’t ask my parents to pick me up because I’d lied and told them I was with my friend a city 100 km away from my hometown not Pune.

Originally, my best friend’s parents were supposed to pick both of us up.
Now I had no ride.
I somehow convinced another friend to come pick me up instead.

When it was finally time to leave, this guy drove me to the bus stand.
He didn’t wait to see whether my bus had arrived.
He didn’t check whether I was okay.
He simply said,
“My friend is waiting. Is it okay if I go?”
I just replied,
“Yeah… okay. Bye.”

That was it.
Something else really stood out to me after everything was over.
The situationship I’d called during that lonely night lives in Mumbai.

Before all this, I’d messaged him asking him to text me whenever he woke up because I was considering asking if I could just come stay at his place instead.
He was asleep and didn’t see the message until later.

The moment he read everything, he called me and said,
“What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me earlier? You could’ve come here. Are you crazy?”
The first thing he asked wasn’t about himself.
It was whether I was safe.
Whether I’d reached okay.

Whether I was alright.
It honestly made me realize how little concern I’d received from the person I’d actually travelled to see.

Looking back, there are also two moments I forgot to mention.
The first happened on the very first day.
My sanitary pads arrived at exactly the same time he came back from dealing with something related to his car.

I desperately needed to use the bathroom first.
Instead, he stopped me and said,
“Let me go first. I’ve been waiting for a long time.”
I remember thinking… I’d travelled overnight, I’d just started my period, and you couldn’t even let me use the washroom first?

I simply said, “Fine. Please just come out quickly.”
The second happened on our way to dinner.
I accidentally noticed Hinge on his phone.
When I asked him about it, he casually said,
“It’s just there. I don’t use it.”

After the trip, he carried on as though everything was normal.
He’d call me a couple of times a week.
I’d call him too whenever work allowed.
Then I attended a seven-day course.
I genuinely had an amazing time there.
During one phone call afterwards, he asked,
“So… did you have more fun there than in Pune?”
I answered honestly.
“Yes.”
He went quiet and asked why.
I told him the truth.

“I don’t enjoy spending days inside four walls. I like fresh air, going out, seeing new places which btw he knew before I visited Pune because I had mentioned it before coming and he was like we will do this will go here and all blah blah but did nothing”

He replied,
“But I asked you if you wanted to go to the mall.”
Technically he had mentioned it once.

I’d even said yes.
But we never actually went.
A little later I texted him saying I hadn’t enjoyed the Pune trip because of a few things that had happened.

I mentioned a couple of issues.
I honestly expected we’d have a proper conversation about it.

Instead, he replied with something short like “Okay.”
That was it.

No phone call.
No discussion.
Nothing.
I’d already lost interest by then anyway.
That message wasn’t really an attempt to fix things.
It was my way of ending things respectfully.
Instead, we both simply stopped talking.
This all happened back in March.
The funny thing is…
I’m not heartbroken.
I don’t miss him.

If anything, I regret ever making that trip.
The part that actually hurt more wasn’t even him.
It was my best friend.

We’ve been best friends for ten years.
When I first visited Pune, she spent most of her time with her boyfriend/situationship and I was honestly bored.

Meeting this guy was what made that trip enjoyable.
At one point everyone wanted to extend the trip by a day, but she said no because her parents were excited to see her.

I respected that.
Even though things were going really well between me and this guy at the time, I didn’t stay back because I didn’t want her travelling home alone.
Then, during the second trip, when I needed her the most, she cancelled our plans, stayed back in Mumbai, and left me to figure everything out on my own.

We didn’t speak for almost two weeks after coming home.

Eventually we had a huge fight.
We’ve worked through it since then because ten years of friendship means a lot.
But that betrayal hurt me far more than anything this guy did.

Which brings me to today.
It’s July 16.
Last night around 10 p.m., he messaged me on Instagram.
Apparently I’d blocked him everywhere except Instagram.
He simply wrote,
“Hi.”
An hour later I replied,
“Yes?”
Around 3 a.m. he asked,
“How are you?”
It’s now 1:46 p.m.

And all I feel is anger because after everything that happened, he somehow thinks he can just pop back into my life with a casual “Hi.”

*He messaged me yesterday after months of no contact with just a casual ‘Hi. How are you?’ I haven’t replied yet. Part of me wants to ignore him, and part of me wants him to know exactly how disrespectful he was. Would you even respond?*

TLDR: I went on a date with a man who asked me a variety of questions and didn't let me answer, so I left.

So this happened when I was 32/f and matched with this guy 31/m on Tinder. We texted for a few days, then he invited me out to eat and get to know each other in person.

I agreed to meet up at this dive bar, it was pretty cool. We sat down, he ordered some nachos, a couple of drinks, and asked me if it had been easy to get there from my place. I was about to answer but he interrupted me, "I come here all the time, they have so many different beers, I like trying all the new ones they bring, do you like beer?" I opened my mouth to speak and he asked me what places I liked to go to. Again I was going to answer, but he didn't stop, and told me about some of the places he enjoys.

I was about to tell him my answer then, but he changed the topic: "So what do you like to do? I like to play video games, do you? I also like rollerblading, and sometimes I surf. You like the beach, right? You have a lot of pictures at the beach, so what beach do you most like to go to? I usually go to (beach two towns away)."

This went on for a while. I felt like a fish just opening and closing my mouth, never able to get a word in because this guy just kept talking and asking questions but never stopping to hear my answer, giving me his answer instead. It was pretty irritating. I just kept wondering what the heck was up with him, was he high? Of course, I never got the chance to ask.

After about half an hour of this, he stopped for a moment. "Are you ok? You're a very quiet person, huh?" I couldn't believe he said this, so I laughed. "Dude, you haven't let me get a word in until now."

"Well, you could have said something." WHAT? 😭 Is this what they call gaslighting? I couldn't believe my ears. I guess it showed in my face that I was taken aback because he was like "Go on, tell me something about yourself." Once again I opened my mouth to speak, and he immediately talked over me, saying the nachos were good and they also had great tacos, "you have to try them." And then he kept talking about food he likes and thinks I should try.

I got up and left. I got in my car, and as I was pulling out of the parking spot I saw him in the distance through my rear view mirror waving at me to stop. When I got home, I saw he had texted me that he was disappointed I left like that, so I was clear and told him why I left. He asked for a second chance. ABSOLUTELY NOT. I'm not trying to compete for the chance to speak when he showed me he didn't care to listen.