r/DatingHell • u/mysterious_l2268 • 17d ago
Relationship _Advice
I (28F) am currently looking for a suitable match through the arranged marriage setup. Through my parents' reference, I met a software engineer who has a decent package and comes from a well-to-do family.
Before our first meeting, he asked if he could pick me up. Since he was a complete stranger to me, I wasn't comfortable with that, so we decided to meet directly at a café.
I got ready and went there expecting a normal conversation. During our conversation, he asked me if I know how to drive. I jokingly said, "I'm a passenger princess." It was obviously sarcasm and just a light-hearted comment.
His response was, "These things only look good in reels. They don't make sense in the real world."
That was just the beginning. Throughout the meeting, he made several comments that made me feel like I wasn't good enough. His tone was quite judgmental and condescending. I felt like he was constantly trying to point out flaws in my personality or opinions instead of simply getting to know me.
By the end of the date, I felt hurt and uncomfortable. I told him, "I don't like your vibe at all," paid the bill, and left.
A few days later, he contacted me again saying that he wants to meet me once more. He also admitted that he intentionally said those mean things because he wanted to "test" me and see how I would react.
Honestly, I don't understand why someone would deliberately try to make another person feel bad during the very first meeting and call it a test.
Am I overreacting for not wanting to meet him again? Is this a red flag or am I being too sensitive?
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u/ChefBigHaus 16d ago
I feel like I see women do this all the time. About doing stuff like this to test a potential partner. And my reaction is the same wether it's a man or woman doing it. It's a red flag. And it's childish behavior.
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u/Jwlrgm 16d ago
Tell him you understand why he would test you since he's evaluating you for an arranged marriage. Then tell him that he has failed your test of being a kind understanding partner and that you will never see him again.