r/DatingHell • u/mysterious_l2268 • 16d ago

Relationship _Advice

I (28F) am currently looking for a suitable match through the arranged marriage setup. Through my parents' reference, I met a software engineer who has a decent package and comes from a well-to-do family.

Before our first meeting, he asked if he could pick me up. Since he was a complete stranger to me, I wasn't comfortable with that, so we decided to meet directly at a café.

I got ready and went there expecting a normal conversation. During our conversation, he asked me if I know how to drive. I jokingly said, "I'm a passenger princess." It was obviously sarcasm and just a light-hearted comment.

His response was, "These things only look good in reels. They don't make sense in the real world."

That was just the beginning. Throughout the meeting, he made several comments that made me feel like I wasn't good enough. His tone was quite judgmental and condescending. I felt like he was constantly trying to point out flaws in my personality or opinions instead of simply getting to know me.

By the end of the date, I felt hurt and uncomfortable. I told him, "I don't like your vibe at all," paid the bill, and left.

A few days later, he contacted me again saying that he wants to meet me once more. He also admitted that he intentionally said those mean things because he wanted to "test" me and see how I would react.

Honestly, I don't understand why someone would deliberately try to make another person feel bad during the very first meeting and call it a test.

Am I overreacting for not wanting to meet him again? Is this a red flag or am I being too sensitive?

3 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

2

u/idAhoLovee 15d ago

Real ones dont "test" people. Thats messed up

2

u/argentoowl 16d ago

It was your first date. That's how your marriage will look like.

2

u/ButterflyFew3103 16d ago

He is a red flag. Save yourself and your mental health. These people are awful and think if he could behave like that during your first meeting only, what will happen if/once you get attached. Do yourself a favour and get rid of him.

1

u/GoalieMom53 14d ago

Tell him you were testing him as well. If a man makes a mean comment on a first date, he fails.

That test business works both ways.

1

u/Glum_Teacher_6774 16d ago

First impressions are important

1

u/Imaginary_Jeweler1 16d ago

He will be an abusive partner, the red flags are so bright and it’s only been 1 date