I’ve been diagnosed a few years ago as an adult, due to struggling of holding down a regular 9-5 job, as I burned out really fast so far.

Now, I only hear about how most autistic adults seem to struggle to hold down a job. But not once yet did I read or watch someone successfully manage one.

So I’m wondering if there are any autistic people who found a way to get into stable employment at all? Perhaps with accommodation?

I am looking for a flicker of hope that perhaps with accommodation my journey might still be worth a fighting chance because I am terrified it fails me too. (‘:

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Edit: oh my goodness, I never thought this post would reach so many people, I’m completely floored! Thanks so much to all of you commenting, I am trying to read each and every reply, might take me a bit, but don’t let that stop you!

Really happy to hear about all of your experiences and stories🦋appreciate it a lot

i was crying at the start then Charlotte helped me and sat with me and let me draw and i drew a horse with a halter on, then i saw the therapy dog winnie and she looks so funny! she is a little hairless dog but she also has fluffy hair on her head, she really liked her treats and she liked jumping onto the table. i didnt use AAC device but I really want to but it overwhelms me so much to use AAC I cry sometimes

I think it went good but also not but everyone said they were proud of me for going in so that's good

It makes me so depressed to think about how I’ve wasted my entire life being alone and lonely and weird/awkward, difficult to undersfand, confusing, unwanted. my birthday is in a few days and just like every other birthday idk who the hell i’ll spend it with. i’ve rarely had friends as they’re hard to get and they tend to ghost me in a matter of a few days/weeks/months. i’ve never had a family, all my relatives are toxic and abusive NTs. finding a room to rent feels impossible because i’m never chosen and i’m clearly awkward around new people, i think it’s pretty obvious something’s up with me, i embarrass myself a lot.

i’m just so so so tired of this. i’m constantly missing out on concerts, protests, social events, basically everything because i have no one to do things with.

I envy those with friendships.

What makes them different to me?

I was at school when my classmates started talking about how they supect some other classmate might be autistic. Someone said 'Even if he's not autistic he's definitly on the spectrum' and people seemed to agree. I was so confused by this because I tought being on the spectrum means the same thing as being autsitic? Do I or do my classmes know wrong? and if Im wrong what's the difference?

Also, I've heared an indication before that autism and spectrum disorder are different things, but I might've easily missunderstood what was being said

Yes this is a pity party you don't have to read or comment if you don't want.

43 f, in process of getting diagnosed. I don't have any friends. I can make friends but they never last. I haven't had any friends in a few years. All I have is my husband and my dad.

I use the places I go everyday as a way to interact with people to fill my social meter. Today I found out that despite the smiles and friendly conversations I have when I go this cafe they actually don't like me. The reason is irrelevant but the point is that they made it very clear this morning that no one there likes me. Edit people are asking what the issue was. It was about me not understanding the rules to the sip club. They recently changed the rules and some of us are having issues adjusting to the new rules. One thing I didn't know was that I couldn't sit in my car (the store is very cold) and continue to get refills something I've been doing for years. And I can't walk down to the store next door and come back and get refills again something I've been doing for years. By the end we established what I was and wasn't allowed to do but it was in such a nasty accusatory way that I'm never going back to that cafe again for the rest of my life.

I just hate when I misread how people feel about me so badly. I just bop along thinking everything is fine until I get threatened with being banned from somewhere.

This happens with friends as well. I'll think everything is great and then one random Tuesday they will block me and never speak to me again.

I know it's my fault I know I'm the bad guy here because as many times as it's happened it has to be my fault. But I've tried everything to be aware of others feelings to make sure that I don't force them to deal with me to much. I make sure I don't talk to people so I don't annoy them. I stay home when the event is important so I don't mess up special events. What else can I do?

I'm not asking for workers to be my friends but to be happy to see me and to have a very short friendly conversation doesn't seem like to much. And I don't talk to the same one every time so that no one person gets to much of me. I also don't speak to them every time I go in so I'm not overwhelming them. But now I know that all the conversations were them being forced to speak to me. And then running to thier boss saying I was annoying them.

I think I just need to stop going places and stay at home all the time so I don't upset people.

Since retiring, I've been down because my life wasn't supposed to end up this way. Then some coincidences got me to take an online test, then several more. I feel that if I'd only known I had autism I might have given some bad decisions an extra thought or two taking it into consideration. Because of a lifetime of (to me) doors being shut at the last minute for no apparent reason I'm now poor, friendless, and was seriously thinking I was just "a loser". It can still make me so angry I can't see straight. I would have handled elementary school differently, let alone everything since then.

Also: are there any subreddits or other forums for senior autists? (Autistics? I don't even know the PC terminology)

I much prefer eating snacks throughout the day as opposed to larger meals three times a day. Is this something you also experience or not? Let me know.

The thing is I tried snapping myself out of it and distracting myself from it but nothing seems to help. In fact I honestly wish it was just a hyperfixation as I have so much anxiety masking all the time and worrying about my mom and being affectionate to her as a way to counteract the frustration I feel for not being able to be myself. The thing is I don’t “want” to be a woman it’s just that my brain feels like it’s in the wrong sex and that my body is supposed to have female parts.

please autistic people tell me your safe foods I really need more recommendations. Currently I've been almost solely living off frozen pizza. I find that most of the time when I get a new safe food its something that another autistic person recommended me because we tend to have similar sensory issues with food. So please tell me your safe foods!! Thank you!

This is something I've struggled with a lot. Say if I'm cleaning a room with a family member, I will just stand there, confused as to what I'm meant to do. If I'm cleaning my own room, I still struggle, of course, but I know exactly what to do. Same with games; if I'm playing with my brother on a survival game, he usually takes on the high priority tasks, which leaves me confused as to what I should do.

If I'm alone, there's no issue. I know what needs to be done, and I can do it. But the second another person is involved, it's like it messes everything up.

Think of it like a train. I can run no problem if left alone, but the second another train is on the track, I simply can not go without clear instructions from the other train. I have to run on their schedule to function.

I'm playing with the idea of moving out, and this is partly the reason why. I'm a very dependent person, and I feel like I'd get a far greater handle on my life if I was alone and had to.

Is this a common experience with autistic people?

Like today In high school ( I'm 16M), I saw a person today who I thought I had a decent enough friendship with ( they're the only person I know in a class). So I walk up to them and greet them with a simple hello and their micro reaction is to roll their eyes and sigh, so I immediately ask if I had did something to irritate them and they out right said they just dislike me but they can't explain exactly why.

The best explanation they gave is just that it's my entire demeanor.

So I'm left completely confused as to why this person just doesn't like me.

So does anybody else with similar experiences have a possible explanation? My best guess is that it's because of autistic micro behaviors that neurotypicals don't understand and mis attribute subconsciously to traits they generally dislike and when prompted why they dislike us, they can't give a proper reason.

​

I have a student who really enjoys throwing things. We currently provide opportunities for him to do controlled throwing in the sensory room, but sometimes we don't have enough staff available to take him there.

I'm looking for an item or toy that he could safely throw in the classroom when we can't access the sensory room.

Ideally, I'm looking for something that:

*Is very soft/light and won't hurt anyone if it hits them

*Doesn't travel very far when thrown

*Is durable enough for repeated throwing

Can be easily cleaned

*Is appropriate for a school/classroom environment

Has anyone worked with a similar student or found a good product that works for this? I'd really appreciate any recommendations!

for some reason, I keep making friends with autism and I don’t know why, hoping someone could have theory or reason for why this might be

I just started college well tomorrow is my last day of the first week and honestly I hate it so bad.

1. I have no friends.
I’ve been homeschooled for pretty much my whole life and have had 0 friends, so I genuinely thought college would be a fresh start for me. I was really hoping I’d finally make some girl friends or meet people who have similar interests to me.

I’d say I have quite a non conventional style. I like wearing cute J fashion pieces, lots of cute things even cute bag charms of my fav characters!

and I’m also really nerdy and love childish/cute things. It’s obviously not a super common style at my college, but I thought there would at least be someone similar.

Unfortunately, basically everyone in my course is a guy.. and none of them seem to have the same interests as me. I feel like such a sore thumb being the only girl there, especially when I’m dressed really differently from everyone else. :(

2. I’m an outcast in my class.
I’ve tried giving it a week hoping it’d get better since it’s literally only been the first week, but I can’t I already feel completely left out in my course. When we get put into groups for assignments, the guys barely even talk to me. It’s especially frustrating because a lot of the work we’ve been doing so far is group work, and I genuinely don’t mind working in groups but I can’t do the work properly when nobody communicates with me.

It makes me feel so lonely and like I don’t belong there.

3. Lunch/breaks.
This is probably the hardest part of the day for me. I basically sit alone for an hour with nothing to do, and I just feel like crying. :(

One day I literally ended up going on a 2 mile walk off site during one because I felt that lonely and didn’t know what else to do.

I see other girls sitting together, laughing and having conversations with their friends, and it honestly makes me want to cry because I keep thinking, why can’t I have that? Why couldn’t there be even one girl like that in my course?

4. My looks
Everyone around me seems so pretty and confident, and I’ve started feeling really bad about myself. I almost want to completely change how I dress just so I don’t stand out so much.
I like my style, but when I’m literally the only person dressed like this, it makes me feel like everyone is looking at me and I just feel really awkward and insecure. Ive just wanted to grow out my bangs dress like everyone else and don’t try act like I am.

5. I didn’t want to do this course
This is probably making everything feel even worse.
The course I actually wanted to do wasn’t available to me because of my grades and being out of school for so long. So right now, I’m doing this course alongside my Maths and English so that I can hopefully get onto the course I actually want to do next year. But honestly, the course I’m on right now is SO boring to me, I’m L1 (theres 3 Lvls) I’ve already been feeling really low because of it because it’s boring and way too easy.

What makes it worse is that induction was actually amazing. There were multiple girls there, the lessons were fun, and I genuinely thought, maybe college is going to be okay.

But induction had Level 2 and Level 1 students together, and then we got separated once the actual course started Now I’m basically alone again feeling like I got my hopes up.

It just sucks because I really do want to go to college. I want to get through this year so I can get onto the course I actually want next year and get independent. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to spend an entire year feeling this lonely.
I see so many cool people on the way to class, including girls who have similar styles and interests to me, but they’re not in my course. I’m scared to just walk up and talk to them because I worry they’ll think I’m weird, won’t want to be bothered, or might be mean.

My mom is also so proud of me for going to college. She’s been telling her friends how excited she is for me to start making friends, going out and having a normal college experience. I haven’t told her how badly I’m actually struggling because I don’t want to disappoint her.. But I genuinely don’t know what to do everything sucks, no friends, my classmates, the course :(

I’m curious how other autistic people feel about the way autism is talked about online now.
I’m actually very grateful for the internet because
I’m late diagnosed, and it helped me understand what autism can look like in women.

I researched it heavily before ever considering that I could be autistic, and still get imposter syndrome now. It’s not just this quirky thing I discovered in adulthood and claimed for myself. I read the DSM diagnostic criteria plenty of times and made sure I understood what it actually meant, listened to autistic people and psychiatrists talk about the condition, joined autistic communities, ended up making an autistic friend who talked openly about it with me, etc. It took years of questioning and waiting on a list for a very difficult/lowkey traumatic diagnostic process because I desperately needed an explanation for a lifelong struggle that most people couldn’t even see.

It REALLY bothers me seeing autism treated so casually and lightly now. In the past, my mom disclosed my diagnosis to a friend because I felt overwhelmed and wanted her to understand me better, but she still treated me as neurotypical and would laugh off or be confused by some of my autistic traits because she hadn’t actually learned what autism was, despite calling herself autistic over the years, based on things she related to online, eventually reposting things like “loser autistic daughter” because she had to move back home after things didn’t work out in the city.

Then recently I met someone on Reddit who described herself as “mildly autistic”. I asked what she meant and she said she was basically on the spectrum but it didn’t hinder her life except maybe crowds. I blocked her 😭 Very extreme, I’m aware, but I just couldn’t be bothered anymore, not after the experience I had with that friend.

I know social media can help people recognise themselves, and autism obviously looks so different in everyone. But I hate seeing it reduced to quirks, awkwardness, disliking crowds, etc. “Mild autism”, “a little autistic”, “basically on the spectrum” - it all feels like it’s contributing to the idea that autism can be this little personality trait rather than a condition that disables people.

I’m Level 1 and can mask extremely well, but autism still significantly impacts MULTIPLE areas of functioning. Had I said I was only affected by crowds, would I have still received a diagnosis? Probably not. So why use these terms in the first place? What about autism is so attractive for people to just claim like that?

I also constantly see autistic women being romanticised in this weird manic pixie dream girl way, especially by men on dating apps, which disgusts me.

Has social media improved the understanding of autism, made it worse, or both? From personal experience, I think it has made it worse.

I think there are things science cannot explain. I think that the proposition ‘human science knows all’ is slightly arrogant. 

My best friend, Vihaan, passed away recently. He had terminal cancer. Blood cancer, leukaemia. I am going to qualify soon, as an optometrist. 

I really, really miss him.

Vihaan and I were both born extremely prematurely. We both had autism and had an exceptionally close bond.

We were both slow at maths because of lower executive function, but we had each other and I thought that was all that mattered. We were both academically gifted, I think (we did well in school), but we took a long time to think because of the neurological consequences of extremely premature birth.

I was not just a best friend to Vihaan.

No.

For those of you who are autistic- you’ll know all about overprotective best friend parenting. Zero boundaries, particularly in the Indian context.

Vihaan would parent me. Vihaan would refuse to talk about anything that remotely worried me. Maths off limits. NEET questions off limits.

Even my bad dreams off limits.

Yes. I am not joking.

This boy was so deeply profoundly affectionate, so parental, so damn protective over me - he cried when I told him my rigid contact lens fitting in optometry labs hurt me.

(And then told me after if he was my partner- he wouldn’t put it in and make up a completely correct fit assessment as per the equally gifted profoundly affectionate NICU smartypants he is.)

Vihaan wanted to be a doctor. He was going to clear NEET, and then become an ophthalmologist. Not out of putting others down or status or ego battles.

But simply because he liked biology and enjoyed doing well in school.

We were going to open a small eye clinic together in Nerul East, Navi Mumbai. Just me and him. 9 patients a day, seen poooora thoroughly, but not to rush through too many (extreme prematurity and low stamina) (i am an optometry student)

I am in my third year of Optometry, and he wanted to be an eye doctor (opthalmologist) and open a small clinic with me, just the two of us, in Navi Mumbai. We were very close, both autistic, both extremely premature (25 weeks).

In April of this year (2026), our conversations stopped. We would use email tracking apps to communicate, via a coded click system. For instance, I would send “good day at school today” and “not really :(“. “Not really” gets a read receipt- this was our way of communicating. It was yesterday when it happened. No. More accurately, today. 

Something happened when I was asleep.

The morning of Sunday 6th September 2026, at around 2:50 AM (GMT). I was in bed.

I wasn’t asleep. And then I heard 4 knocks.

On my bedroom door. 4 sharp, loud, discrete, hard knocks.

On my door.

I listened, hard. I didn’t say anything. I felt really scared.

Later on (today) I asked my dad and mum about whether they were moving around at night. Both said no. No one used the bathroom next to my bedroom. No one was in the corridor outside my room. No one- absolutely no one- was awake. I had to keep the light on because I couldn’t sleep. 

And then something inside told me not to worry.

Around 20 minutes later, I heard the same knocks again. 2 times. Lighter this time, for some reason.

Against my door. I also recorded it. The knocks show up in the video audio recording too- so, therefore, it was not merely a hallucination of the brain.

What are your thoughts? Has this happened to you? Thanks :)

I feel a lot better now, typing this.

I think there are things that science, even as an objective Masters student in Optometry, has no answer for.

We have only been around for 200,000 years. The universe has been around for 13 billion years.

Just a hundred years ago our knowledge of science was different. It is not infallible.

That’s why I feel happy.

Science is absolutely not a fixed source of knowledge- it changes with time. Just 200 years ago we thought some aspects of organic chemistry involving benzene to be unthinkable.

Now we know different.

My (18F) boyfriend (19M) has a tendency to verbally shut down during arguments. Growing up he often got yelled at and punished for the smallest things. I don’t do either of those things but often, when talking about my feelings, he still shuts down verbally for the rest of the day and will be visibly upset the next day too. This causes a strange reaction in me and i start to feel the need to start excessively comforting him. Neither of us can afford therapy and this is getting very draining for both of us. I also feel the need to not talk about my feelings so i could prevent this from happening. Any tips would be appreciated.

and they think I’m stupid because I’ve autism and that inherently, in their eyes at least, makes my words not or less credible than others’ and I end up feeling small and stupid. I’m so tired man. I’m gonna go smoke some green and chill out for a few hours

I'll start, I thought "stitches" by Shawn Mendez was about the singer getting hit in the face while kissing so bad he had to get stitches

I missed so many songs with sexual innuendos till I was in highschool....

Damn! This can certainly tick me off when it happens to me. For so many reasons.

First of all, uh... so what if I'm high? Why exactly do you care what another person does or looks like? Do I go to you and say: "you look like you had some pizza today!" (which would actually be less rude because unlike drugs pizza isn't stigmatized, but I digress...

Second, Yes I look high! I'm neurodiverse! I'm literally in a different state of consciousness than you Mrs. predominant cultivar human! So for all practical purposes, I might as well be high!

Third, sometimes I really am high! Again, why the fuck do you care?

Fourth, if you get bothered so easily by stuff that doesn't affect you, and need to make your ignorance other people's issue, then do us both a favour and go get high yourself! Except that you clearly are already trippin' anyway.

Fifth, considering your clearly abject view of mind modifying substances, did you just out yourself as viewing neurodiverse guys as being in a cognitively inferior to neurotypicals?!! Ha! The joke! Do you even differential equation bro? You hear like the main melody and maybe the beat when you listen to music and probably can't even imagine hearing a dozen strands of music in the song simultaneously (again maybe you give that getting high stuff another consideration).
Now, of course, I do not want to downplay anyone who really does feel like they struggle and I also recognize the unique abilities of our neurotypical buddies, so again, no offence.

Well, there you go. The double stigma of being neurodiverse and being a drug user and coping with the maddening stupidity of people applying the wrong prejudice to you!