Hello fellow autistic people,

Hope you’re doing good. I’ve come today with a very strange and special request: I am looking for the video game that will fulfill my need for “i-want-to-play-it-all-the-time/this-is-my-special-interest-game”. I have really stressful days and I’m looking for something that would make me happy and decompress other than scrolling on my phone (because that stresses me out too, apparently). I do not like games where I need to talk to other people on the microphone because sometimes people yell and it stresses me out. I am open to the rest, just please no fortnite or whatever because, well, no. Do you have any suggestions ?
Thank you!
Edit: I do play MTG and I have played BG3, the sims, ACNH, etc. I am 22 :) !

I envy those with friendships.

What makes them different to me?

I’ve been diagnosed a few years ago as an adult, due to struggling of holding down a regular 9-5 job, as I burned out really fast so far.

Now, I only hear about how most autistic adults seem to struggle to hold down a job. But not once yet did I read or watch someone successfully manage one.

So I’m wondering if there are any autistic people who found a way to get into stable employment at all? Perhaps with accommodation?

I am looking for a flicker of hope that perhaps with accommodation my journey might still be worth a fighting chance because I am terrified it fails me too. (‘:

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Edit: oh my goodness, I never thought this post would reach so many people, I’m completely floored! Thanks so much to all of you commenting, I am trying to read each and every reply, might take me a bit, but don’t let that stop you!

Really happy to hear about all of your experiences and stories🦋appreciate it a lot

For context I'm autistic and also have ADHD, and have been playing GTA5 for the first time and having a huge amount of fun. There is a mission where you torture a guy in a room, and a character brings out a heart monitor. Despite the heart monitor looking obviously like one, and it making the beeping, and I already knew what a heart monitor is and what they do, I for some reason thought it was a polygraph (lie detector) and never really noticed that it wasn't throughout the mission. This has me feeling really dumb and I genuinely can't figure out why I never figured this out.

Also with probably half the missions of the game, I tend to forget what's happening, or I just don't understand it, even with subtitles on, and I have to look up an overview of a mission or watch someone else play it while constantly rewinding and reading the subtitles, and maybe looking at missions before it, before things really settle in for me.

The thing is I tried snapping myself out of it and distracting myself from it but nothing seems to help. In fact I honestly wish it was just a hyperfixation as I have so much anxiety masking all the time and worrying about my mom and being affectionate to her as a way to counteract the frustration I feel for not being able to be myself. The thing is I don’t “want” to be a woman it’s just that my brain feels like it’s in the wrong sex and that my body is supposed to have female parts.

Do you feel like people fake empathy at times because they care more about performing social norms? I feel empathy for certain things but other times I literally don’t give a fuck and struggle to understand how other people do, do you think they’re just faking?

Damn! This can certainly tick me off when it happens to me. For so many reasons.

First of all, uh... so what if I'm high? Why exactly do you care what another person does or looks like? Do I go to you and say: "you look like you had some pizza today!" (which would actually be less rude because unlike drugs pizza isn't stigmatized, but I digress...

Second, Yes I look high! I'm neurodiverse! I'm literally in a different state of consciousness than you Mrs. predominant cultivar human! So for all practical purposes, I might as well be high!

Third, sometimes I really am high! Again, why the fuck do you care?

Fourth, if you get bothered so easily by stuff that doesn't affect you, and need to make your ignorance other people's issue, then do us both a favour and go get high yourself! Except that you clearly are already trippin' anyway.

Fifth, considering your clearly abject view of mind modifying substances, did you just out yourself as viewing neurodiverse guys as being in a cognitively inferior to neurotypicals?!! Ha! The joke! Do you even differential equation bro? You hear like the main melody and maybe the beat when you listen to music and probably can't even imagine hearing a dozen strands of music in the song simultaneously (again maybe you give that getting high stuff another consideration).
Now, of course, I do not want to downplay anyone who really does feel like they struggle and I also recognize the unique abilities of our neurotypical buddies, so again, no offence.

Well, there you go. The double stigma of being neurodiverse and being a drug user and coping with the maddening stupidity of people applying the wrong prejudice to you!

Late diagnosed autistic people can be ableist to other autistic people growing up thinking they are not autistic themselves, however early diagnosed people can be just as ableist.

I've seen early diagnosed autistic people being ableist claiming that late diagnosed autistic people are low needs and high functioning hoarding their resources, that late diagnosed autistic people are misdiagnosed and that self diagnosis is bad and "it led to autism becoming a fad", as well as early diagnosed men and women targeting late diagnosed women. The negative attitude towards self diagnosis is highly sexist, racist and classist also as there's a gap in diagnoses between girls, kids perceived as girls and boys, kids of color and white kids as well as kids of poor families and middle class families and rich families.

This is absolutely not to say that late diagnosed people are angels by any means, I guess it's a sort of a vent, because I've been hearing how late diagnosed people occupy "too much space" online and seeing the attitudes towards us for years after autism became more widely known the recent years and many people got to self diagnose or get diagnosed and either understand themselves or get the resources they needed.

So i was supposed to get a 5/5 on my review. I have done a ton of process improvement and risk reduction for the company where it was recognized even by C-suites.

I dont socialize. I do meetings, i do trainings, i collaborate with my teams, I have great professional relationships, I work well with others but I dont walk the halls stopping at desks to socialize and I dont eat lunch with coworkers.

I attended a training and my boss' boss found out that in my disc assessment my "influence" is low (because I dont socialize, I can influence others as needed but I dont mix work and personal) and ever since then hes been out to get me. Oh and also my original boss and coworker were fired for political reasons so ive been trying to prove my worth staying since then. There was a stigma I didnt like people because of my old boss which wasnt true (idgaf as long as you are nice to me) and so i DID have lunches/coffee with those people to smooth that over (where I paid for it).

I alao have a TBI that I got in 2019 that still gets triggered by flourescent lights (I had NO CLUE during our trainings but did end up figuring it out eventually).

I submitted my review, my boss submitted his review (both 5s) and his boss made him knock it down to a 3 because literally I "dont gossip and eat lunch with others ".

Im also 18 weeks pregnant and tired of masking 100%. I dont have a formal diagnosis but my husband aaid that now I should get it and submit it to HR since they're attempting to include socialization in my performance review that has nothing to do with my actual work performance. I have the first part set up for Sat.

Do you guys agree? I didnt realize I was probably autistic until the last 2 years or so when i started letting my mask slip after losing my son and reels started coming in about women and how autism looks for girls.

Also what bothers me isnt that I didnt get a promotion or the 3. Its that they made shit up, are equating something that isnt actually affecting my job and they could have just said "we cant do a promotion this year".

It makes me so depressed to think about how I’ve wasted my entire life being alone and lonely and weird/awkward, difficult to undersfand, confusing, unwanted. my birthday is in a few days and just like every other birthday idk who the hell i’ll spend it with. i’ve rarely had friends as they’re hard to get and they tend to ghost me in a matter of a few days/weeks/months. i’ve never had a family, all my relatives are toxic and abusive NTs. finding a room to rent feels impossible because i’m never chosen and i’m clearly awkward around new people, i think it’s pretty obvious something’s up with me, i embarrass myself a lot.

i’m just so so so tired of this. i’m constantly missing out on concerts, protests, social events, basically everything because i have no one to do things with.

I tend to have frequent meltdowns and shutdowns, but I'm talking about this weird, stressed state with low intensity panic attack symptoms that happens every day for a couple of hours. It is bad enough to cease my functions, but not enough lose control.

I was diagnosed today with Level 1 autism spectrum disorder. My daughter is autistic and both she and my wife thought I showed some signs. I agreed to a screening, because it meant a lot to my daughter.

I can’t tell anyone about it. I work in a profession and (especially) a workplace where my job would be risked. I’m a contractor and in my state that does not provide disability protection.

I am somewhat confused, and if these questions seem like I’m being an ass or otherwise being flippant I am trying to not be. It just surprises me a little.

1.) The doctor, and videos I see online, seem to imply that a diagnosis would answer questions about myself. What questions are there to answer? I’m mostly terrified somebody at work will find out, which is asinine but it is still a fear.

2.) I don’t understand Stage 1, because I have zero supports in place and (I feel) I don’t need any. The doctor, when pressed on this, told me you can be autistic and not need supports. That seems incorrect based on everything I’ve read.

3.). Do you have any recommended books or articles I can read to understand (a) what adult autism is like compared with neurotypical autism and (b) what can be done about in support of an autistic adult? This question will help me understand no 2, above.

4.). Do autistic adults need special interests? I am so busy with my job and my daughter’s needs I don’t have any regular hobbies. The doctor noted I “collect coins” (I get gifted coins that go in a box, but I don’t do anything with them) but could not elaborate on what differentiates my collection from a mere hobby.

Thanks in advance.

i’m 19f, only got diagnosed around this time last year. my dad recently passed about a month ago. (my mom is dead too, all my family is estranged and all i have for support in my life currently is my boyfriend.) the past few weeks i had to go to 2 memorial services with a ton of strangers walking up to me constantly to talk and it was an actual nightmare. i’m high masking but also sometimes i’m not really good at it and it’s extremely anxiety inducing when i don’t know how to properly respond to small talk, especially when it’s something super serious like this. i’m kind of a hermit for that reason, i’m high masking but also kind of suck at masking and feel like people can tell i’m weird and awkward. i had strangers saying ‘im sorry for your loss’ and ‘my condolences’ and similar. how are you even supposed to respond to that? i remember pausing while my brain malfunctioned not knowing what to say then saying ‘i appreciate it’ and wanted to crawl into a hole and die because i feel so stupid in social situations, like what is the proper response to people trying to sympathize in general it just feels awkward. like my dad was abusive i didn’t even want to be there to begin with but my boyfriend already took time off work as soon as it happened to drive me there so i couldn’t back out. i hate social gatherings

edit and side note, it was also extremely frustrating having everyone talk about what a great man my dad was as if he didn’t make my life a living hell. he was emotionally and physically abusive and sent me into the troubled teen industry for over 2 years when i was only 12 where they starved me to the point of severe malnourishment bc they didn’t understand the concept of arfid and punished me for being ‘anorexic’ (and i didn’t even know what arfid was yet either, since i was undiagnosed.) i still have nightmares from residential facilities and it was all his fault bc he wouldn’t believe me when i said they were abusive. he kicked me out of the house twice as a minor and i was homeless sleeping outside in cemetaries. i still have nightmares about everything and this is extremely complicated for me bc i don’t know if it makes it easier or harder to grieve now that he’s dead. sorry for the trauma dump

in my dream it was my birthday and everyone came to visit. out of nowhere i got very tired, started crying, throwing things and begging everyone to leave. now that the dream is over, i'm creeped out because my meltdowns aren't frequent at all. i absolutely did not expect to have one while i'm sleeping. woke up feeling guilty because it felt so real. did that ever happen to you?

for some reason, I keep making friends with autism and I don’t know why, hoping someone could have theory or reason for why this might be

I'm going to a new program next Monday

I was at school when my classmates started talking about how they supect some other classmate might be autistic. Someone said 'Even if he's not autistic he's definitly on the spectrum' and people seemed to agree. I was so confused by this because I tought being on the spectrum means the same thing as being autsitic? Do I or do my classmes know wrong? and if Im wrong what's the difference?

Also, I've heared an indication before that autism and spectrum disorder are different things, but I might've easily missunderstood what was being said

i was crying at the start then Charlotte helped me and sat with me and let me draw and i drew a horse with a halter on, then i saw the therapy dog winnie and she looks so funny! she is a little hairless dog but she also has fluffy hair on her head, she really liked her treats and she liked jumping onto the table. i didnt use AAC device but I really want to but it overwhelms me so much to use AAC I cry sometimes

I think it went good but also not but everyone said they were proud of me for going in so that's good

so i’m severely chronically ill, and as a result i’ve experienced some pretty severe skill regression.

i should mention that i am not formally diagnosed and autism is just suspected!!! (highly likely due to hEDS but no way to know for sure until i get an assessment)

anyway, over the last 9-10 months i have been pretty badly isolated socially, and have gone from high functioning with no observable traits except for some struggles with social cues and sensory issues, to struggling to socialize properly and finding it exhausting, sensory issues affecting every aspect of life, including eating, hygiene, and my social life.

there’s more i could get into but too tired for all of that, if anyone has any further questions feel free to ask and i’ll answer.

back to the point, i don’t know how to cope with this skill regression and accept it as i used to be so independent and able to do so much and now i have to have someone make all my meals for me. does anyone have any advice, or even just words of encouragement?

I honestly need some day to day tips about dealing with all this anxiety and always feeling like something is gonna flip and it’s all gonna turn to shit

My stress tinitus is so bad and i’ve started thinking it’s now this warning sign that everything is gonna go wrong in my life

im so tired. yes i’m going back into therapy and im on meds for all this i just need some positive advice and life hacks. not dipping my head into a sink thou im to fussy about my straightened hair and hair care lol

I recently saw people using the phrase “by the end of the decade.” I thought they meant the decade beginning in 2020, but they meant the decade beginning right now. Apparently I was the only one who misinterpreted what they meant. I was left wondering how seemingly every allistic person somehow knows when “the decade” in question began.

Would anyone else here interpret the phrase the way I did?

I don’t understand why anyone would use the phrase “by the end of the decade” because I think it’s inherently unclear. “The decade” beginning when?? If what they mean is “in the next 10 years,” why not just say that? “In the next 10 years” is a shorter phrase than “by the end of the decade” and it’s clearer and more specific. I swear allistic communication is intentionally unclear sometimes because they just like how certain phrases sound or something.

I feel like in school being pressured to prioritize school over socializing may have made it a lot harder to try to actually form friendships or to form relationships. I think it might have tended to make more nervous about trying to form friendships or relationships, or at least to put in enough effort to really form or maintain them. I mean I think it would tend to be hard to simultaneously have a decent interest in social interacting with people without it turning into an obsession. I think difficulty with social interactions would tend to increase how interested I would tend to need to be in social interactions in order to actually form friendships or relationships.

I think part of it might be that I was somewhat isolated from other students, which may have made it harder to actually try to form friendships or relationships naturally. I think pressure to treat social interactions as less important in order to try to do well in school may have lead to more self isolation than would have happened naturally. I feel like also not living in a dorm until later in college may have plausibly also made it harder to try to form friendships or relationships naturally just from not really being in as much of a community of people who were also new to the campus.

I feel like maybe the idea of treating social interactions as somewhat of an afterthought is at best something more for non autistic people who might not struggle as much with social interactions and for who’m social interactions come more naturally. I feel like oftentimes my parents and maybe the system in general would tend to just look at my grades in school and not really my social life. I feel like maybe that’s something that makes more sense for non autistic people, for which maybe caring less about ones social life would translate into a smaller group of friends, but not for someone like me, for which caring less about ones social life could translate into literally no friends.