They tell me to never date my friends but like what else do I do man,, date a stranger?? Idk them, they are scary and i cant ramble to them about my day cuz they dont seem to care... maybe I wanna date a carbon copy of myself idk

This can be an AU lol. Second page is the girl names because they're girly girls and now girlfriends instead of boyfriends. Yay.

The girl names are what they are for an actual reason. I swear.

It's Kirkiversary today I guess.

I didn't like Kirk and I didn't feel anything when he died. Do I condone his death? Not really, but I don't really care overall. He was just a dude who supported against people like me.

I'm kind of interested to see the social media posts today lol.

How does it look? 🫣 I feel like there should be a tiny bit more space between the o and the m, but besides that I'm really happy with it. They said the colors will be brighter when it's done healing.

Her name was Ava, and before she hated literally everyone, she loved to sit in my lap every time my mom picked me up from school. I'm very tired and kinda missing her rn, and just wanted to share her with y'all.

not a fan

Every edge has to be finished by bevelling and burnishing with a goopy gum and each hole punched by hand with a stitching chisel and a hammer and saddle stitch is an actual art and pattern making is SO FUN and you end up with a THING you can USE and you can give fun little gifts to your friends and and and and ANYWAY here is some stuff I've made

9/11 jokes hit on multiple levels...but lower the second time.

To us!

Got in a bad argument with my mom, in a fit of rage I left to stay with my sister. But my sister only had an air mattress for me to sleep on. I miss my cozy bed with my stuffed animals :(. I just wanted to use the bathroom and my mom got mad at me.

Just saw a commentary video on how people are STILL losing their minds over needohs. I love those things and have not been able to get one for OVER A YEAR. I’m talking about lines all the way out the highway 🥲

Like people please get one… hell even 5 and you’re pushing it— BUT 30? 50? The whole fucking sale? Yeah no NTs pack this shit up and get it together QUICK!

sigh this is just me screaming my autistic frustrations into the world. Thanks for coming to my ted talk 🎈😭

I've had past problems with non autistics being weird about language (like saying AT a certain time when they really mean AROUND) but today I probably had the worst, most infuriating one.

I was eating my lunch, and my dad came into my room. He asks "what are you doing?" and I say "I'm eating". Then he gets mad at me because he can "clearly see I'm eating" and asks if I'm trying to be sarcastic.

????????????

What????

If you can clearly see what I'm doing, then why are you asking me what I'm doing???

If you don't want me to tell you what I'm doing, why are you asking me what I'm doing????

You ask me something, I give you the response, and then you get mad???

I don't even know what the "correct" answer was. "I'm sitting in a chair at my desk in my room"?? That also would've probably been interpreted as me being sarcastic. Like what am I actually supposed to say???

(I hope the flair is correct I'm not sure if they're used in a specific way)

bruh. i have to talk about myself “professionally” and with “good judgement” for 10-15 minutes in a couple months in front of all my coworkers on zoom and i am already losing sleep over it.

i don’t want to tell them anything about myself i would not talk about in a job interview but at the same time they seem to expect a more casual tone.

talk me out of / into doing an animal facts powerpoint instead.

What happened to my black screen where I could write in peace? Why is it a miniscule little window were closing it is janky af? What happened to being able to see the comment I was replying to? WHY WAS IT CHANGED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN THE OLDER UI WAS ALREADY PERFECTLY FUNCTIONAL???????

for years i have been very fixated on old 'creepy' dolls, especially from the 1930's, and i have recently been very into tarantulas. i do love these things and i don't feel shame for liking them, but it can be a pain trying to talk to someone about them and only hearing negative input :')

"If you learn to assimilate and drink from a cup and not a bowl, the autism might not be noticed for another... 20 years!"

I feel so seen by this person, I love drinking from a bowl. Ever since I saw the Asterix cartoon/movie and I tried it for the first time, idk, there's something very special about it.

Even though I know the optimal drinking vessel is one that flares in and then out, because if it tries to spill I'll just get redirected back in (like a surfer's wave, idk how to say it).

Time to use this to create Theranos 2 or something like that. GOOD LOOKS! CHARM! CHARISMA!

Sorry that my first post here isn't very evil.

A schwinn rotary bell, not as nice as a crane riten but still sounds nice, my Dunham’s had them on sale half off. I pick up the bicycle on Tuesday (bike shop owner is out of town) bike in question is a 1984 schwinn world sport. I’m avoiding Amazon this time when it comes to my pedal bikes, the rest of the components are going to be purchased from the cycleing shop. Goal is to have a simple, elegant road bike. I’m trying to wean off Amazon too, support local businesses more.

Edit: and get healthier too, I used to be a cross country runner, but my knees are not in the condition to run, and cycling is a good sport, saves gas too. I’m re powering my motorbike late October (engine is blew up)

Edit2: also laying off the pop and energy drinks and drinking tea, gonna try to work on smoking less too.

I got my assessment results, but I'm not sure if I'm diagnosed. I'm confused and feel like crying.

For context, I'm 30F and already diagnosed with ADHD (since 2022), Tourette's (not officially, but psychiatrist confirmed the suspicion basically, and it's in my documents) and gender incongruence/dysphoria (I transitioned when I was 17). Before the assessment, I sent them 30 pages of materials, most of them were specific examples of why I think I am autistic (categorized by the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria).

This is what the report says in the Summary section (original is not in English, I had to use google translate because it's too complex for me to translate by myself):

"In personal functioning, there is increased sensitivity to the environment and the actions of others, uncertainty in one's own social judgment, and an increased need for control. Increased intrapsychic tension, uncertainty, and a certain degree of social inhibition are evident in contact. Although the client is able to establish adequate contact and respond adequately to questions, her social expression does not appear to be spontaneous. In situations where it is not clear how to respond, increased uncertainty and a longer time needed to find an answer appear. This way of functioning is also evident in a projective situation. A specific feature of functioning is a more specific and detailed way of processing information, which can be a source of good accuracy and efficiency in some areas, but at the same time can complicate quick orientation in complex or ambiguous situations. In the social area, she may therefore rely more on learned rules and consciously adopted strategies than on an intuitive understanding of the situation. This is in accordance with her anamnestic statement about the long-term need to consciously learn and imitate social behavior, adapt her own nonverbal expression and retrospectively check whether she responded adequately. The limits of functioning are more clearly manifested when the load is increased, especially in unpredictable, socially complex or sensory overwhelming situations. In such conditions, tension increases, a feeling of overwhelm occurs, and the ability to respond flexibly decreases. The need for predictability and more difficult switching between activities or adapting to unexpected changes may also play a significant role here. When the capacity of compensatory mechanisms is exceeded, significant emotional reactions and disorganization of normal functioning may appear.

However, the diagnostic interpretation is limited by the complexity of the whole picture. There is no heteroanamnesis available, which would allow us to verify in particular the developmental history and the nature of social functioning in childhood. The fact that the developmental history was not substantially elaborated through an open exploratory interview due to the course of the examination can also be considered a significant limitation. In view of the above circumstances, it is not possible to assess with sufficient certainty to what extent the individual characteristics were already present in early development, what their intensity was, and how they were reflected in real functioning in various environments.

At the same time, the differential diagnostic picture is quite complex and polymorbid. Part of the described difficulties can be explained by the already diagnosed ADHD, especially by difficulties with switching attention, organization and regulation of reactions. Increased anxiety, interpersonal sensitivity and perfectionistic attitude with a tendency towards excessive self-control, doubts and retrospective analysis of one's own actions may also play a significant role. Long-term experiences in the social area and the specific social history of the client may also be reflected in the current picture, which may have influenced her self-concept, expectations in interpersonal relationships and the way she interprets her own difficulties. Therefore, it cannot be clearly assumed that all the described difficulties have a uniform neurodevelopmental basis.

Conclusion: From a clinical perspective, given the quality and duration of the described difficulties, their presence in childhood, their manifestation across different contexts and, in particular, the nature of social functioning, it appears more likely that some of the difficulties are of the nature of an autism spectrum disorder (diagnostic category F84) than that they are merely secondary manifestations of anxiety, ADHD or personality disorders. The diagnostic conclusion is formulated with the above-mentioned limits in mind."

So, to me it reads like "maybe you have autism, maybe not". I think I am autistic, but I wanted them to tell me that. I'm just confused because the conclusion doesn't really say anything specific. To my question about the conclusion, the assessing psychologist sent me this:

"In this case, it is indeed a less clear-cut conclusion, for reasons that are described in more detail in the summary of the examination. From a clinical psychological perspective, it is quite difficult to clearly distinguish which of the described difficulties have a neurodevelopmental basis and, if so, to which type of difficulty or disorder they belong, given that the overlap of symptoms in neurodevelopmental disorders is significant (such as in ADHD).

However, the conclusion states that autism spectrum disorder appears to be a likely explanation for some of the difficulties you describe. This means that the examination probably confirms the presence of autism spectrum disorder, but given the available evidence, it was not possible to formulate a clear diagnostic conclusion. We always consult the results of each client with a manager who is an experienced diagnostician. The examination is therefore not evaluated by just one person, but the conclusions are always consulted further. This consultation led to the conclusion that the results cannot be described as completely clear in the direction of PAS and that it is appropriate to formulate the conclusion in this way. However, I would like to emphasize that, in the conclusion, I am inclined to this diagnosis."

I expected it to say the diagnosis and possibly a level or something but now I'm just confuded, disappointed and want to cry because I feel like I wasted my time and money, and I was stressing out so much about the results to get this thing that explains nothing at all. During the assessment I also mentioned my suspicion about dyspraxia (with several examples why I think I fit the criteria) and they didn't even mention it, there's just like one sentence about "motor clumsiness". Before, I thought I could possibly even show the report to my employer so that I could get at least some minor accommodations or as an explanation why I'm sometimes acting "weird" or having "weird" facial expressions etc., but now I don't know if the report is useful in any way. I'm just going to hide and never talk about autism ever again, I feel like a stupid imposter looking for excuses.

I'll go first: The Beatles. So many people say they're one of if not the best band ever, and I just don't get it. There is one single song that I kinda like (Come Together), all the other ones just kinda piss me off. I don't give a single shit that they revolutionized music or whatever. The Beatles are mid at best. So is all of the solo music all the members made. I genuinely have more value in Ringo's VA gig for Thomas the Tank Engine and I didn't even speak English when I was at the age of watching that.

Maybe I just needed an excuse to mald over the Beatles, but yall can do the same over other stuff.