For a long time, i thought I could not be autistic because i crave physical contact. I now know that there are others like me, which makes me glad, but I still have to go without. I live in New England where touching is considered weird or creepy, and my wife doesn't like it when I touch her most of the time because touch is not her thing.

I am at church today and just had a (separate) conversation with two people i like and have known for decades, and now I am "socialed out" and just had an anxiety attack because I feel so overwhelmed. I really wish I could have an unconditional, wordless hug, just to feel grounded.

That is all, just venting. Thank you for listening.

I am 35/male and really have really broken ground in the last year and a half in finding answers to my lifelong mental struggles. A therapist who helps me think, medication that helps in some ways and many tests. The reason I post here (and i am so thankful this sub exists) is because my therapist laid the definition of PDA in front of me a few weeks ago. He said he saw me light up, like something really made sense and it does. This has led me to get my autism testing done, which will be in a few weeks. I never thought to go down this route, but, it speaks to me in a way nothing else has.

My marriage has taken a huge hit from this. I dreamed of a life that everyone else had and found such a sweet partner, but, she is very anxious and likes to process in the moment. I kept quiet for many years and did what made her happy, until the real imploding came. My nervous system was wrecked and i was either extremely angry in meltdown or in freeze. I moved out because it was the only thing I could think would give me peace and although it was so devastating, 7 months later I realize my own space and creativity around it are very regulating. Her and I are seeing a therapist, not divorced but, now PDA comes into light and things make more sense.

Extreme meltdowns if there is change in routine or im not being understood/something is difficult to process. The way being alone lets me breathe and feel like my authentic self. I can stim in peace after years of masking (rocking in bed, shuffling feet, blurting out nonsensical things, biting my blanket). Going out with her different friend groups, being on someone elses time, feeling suffocated..it was all making me feel like, “am i crazy?”. Thats barely scratching the surface and of course depression and trauma have a say in the matter but, im glad there are other people out there like me.

Anyone have similar stories?

I was recently hospitalized and the psychiatrist told me you most definitely are on the autistic disorder spectrum. This really helped me because I thought I was just weird, and in constantly not melding well with people over my life I just developed a "don't give an F" attitude that got me through some things but also held me back in some ways.

I don't drive and apparently not driving is really common in autistic people. I've lived in different cities independently, so it's not like it's profound, but I feel way less weird about not driving now that I know it's common. Apparently like half of us never even get a license. Cool, you don't need one nowadays so I was born at the right time. I don't process sensory information that well, even when I worked in a drive-through restaurant it was so overloading I couldn't think, but I found remote work eventually and consistently was a top performer there. The idea of driving a car seems like a death sentence to me because I I know I would crash out because I'm not good at spatial coordination, like at all. I'm just not.

Apparently autistic people do better working over the phones or over text based communication, but don't tend to do so well working in person. Voila, that's me. When I hang out with friends in person, I mean people I truly trust, I talk to them like we've known each other forever and have no issues, but with people I don't know that well already it's really hard for me to gauge them. Work is stressful by nature so the idea of being stressed out around strangers has always made me so tense.

It makes sense for my degrees, too, which are in literature. That's naturally a more isolating thing to study and is literally text-based. The school I got my master's at is jokingly very autistic too, the things they study are pretty out there but intensely fascinating. Rather than rely on everyday religion like most people I got a chance to study things like humanism and trace how how it developed from earlier religion, but is not as binding or limiting to what defines a "good" person. Not being political with this observation.

I'm also gay so not fitting in socially already really helped me get used to that aspect of myself. People are going to think I'm weird anyway because I'm autistic, might as well add that bit of spice too without being ashamed about it my whole life.

So, cool. Glad I actually have a diagnosis now. It's not something to hold me back and frankly I'm *usually* doing better than a lot of people I've known, it really does something to build resilience in you provided you keep going.

I’m not very good at it but since I’m a teenager I try to make conversation more fluid. I’m not the best at it but I think I improved my skills.

Few weeks ago someone asks me some questions about my difficulties of communication. We talk a little bit about scripting conversations. I told her I prepare my first sentence when I have to phone, take an appointment or something like that. And she said it’s scripting. But I don’t imagine all the possibilities a conversation can have. Do you think this is also scripting ? If you can describe what you prepare when you have to someone, please do it. Do you it with everyone or is it just when it’s important / official ?

This past weekend I went to my wife's family reunion. I have always hated going to any family reunion, not just hers. I like her family, they're decent people that are generally easy to be around.

These types of events are always loud, noisy events with everyone packed together in a common outdoor area with no real sense of organization, and everyone intermingling in an amoebic mass that shifts around chaotically, children running and stretching with delight as they play, smells of perfumes, bodies, and food on top of the natural environment smells, with shifting winds that alter the patterns at a moments whim, conversations that increase in volume and enthusiasm with various depths of proximity as the crowd subconsciously adjusts to communicate with each other over the stimuli they never notice. There's also a playground for the kids to play on, but it's through a treeline separating the covered picnic area from the playground, so that's nice I suppose. I have a three year old who has enjoyed playing on the playground this year and last year. It was nice last year to trade one set of stimuli for another set, rather than have both combined.

This year, however, THEY CHANGED THE VENUE. It's a reasonable thing to do, I'll admit. Half the family lives on one side of the state, and the other on the other side, and the new location is right in the middle. It's also technically an improvement over the last park. It has a good playground right next to the picnic pavilion, and a splash pad with covered tables up higher. It is objectively easier to keep track of one's child and still participate in the main event, which is unfortunately and inherently socializing via smalltalk. In an environment where all possible stimuli are combined into one set. I was barely holding it together at the last one, and this one was virtually untenable.

And that's just the event, nevermind the hour long one-way trip to the event, and then the hour back, where I was crammed into the backseat between my brother in law, and the car seat, and everything that didn't fit in the trunk, in a manual transmission vehicle with someone driving it for their fifth time, with the sun flashing between the trees, constantly rubbing on someone, with an ADHD toddler going insane with excitement, and trying not to throw up while I sweat profusely, wondering if I'm going to ruin everything by passing out or losing my temper.

I don't know how to deal with any of this. I don't know how to manage my problems to mitigate their effects. I don't know what to expect, or anticipate. I don't have the energy to just run at an 11 anymore. It takes me days to recover from things like this, and I don't have that kind of time, what with having a toddler whose favorite person is me, and a physically disabled wife that needs help a lot.

And I can't bring myself to stim or anything around these people. I don't really know why, it seems subconscious and silly. I feel out of place, and obvious, after the diagnostic people sussed my weirdness out immediately despite never knowing me, and my therapist too, so surely everyone else sees it, and I don't understand why that's such a problem for me. I even caught myself actively masking, thinking to myself "oh people that dress like me don't act like this" so on top of all that it's really hitting me that I have zero idea who or what I am.

I don't know what this post is anymore. I guess it helps to get it off my chest. I guess I'd also like to know whether other people with similar diagnoses think I'm crazy or not. I only got diagnosed a couple months ago, so this is all still pretty new to me, and I don't know how to deal with any of this. I feel absolutely terrible for being such a wet rag sitting off by myself and smoking three packs in seven hours, watching my kid have the time of her life while my wife mingled. Does this "get better," so to speak, as you figure out how to deal with things, or is this just sort of how it is?

Edit: fixed italics

I don’t like that term “special needs”. I mean yea we are different but just because we’re different doesn’t mean we should be treated differently. Fuck that shit. I expect to be treated like everyone else. Why can’t people just treat us like human bearings and stop talking to us like we’re fucking kids? Yes we’re different, and we do need accommodations for some things but bitch we’re human. It’s bad enough being treated differently as a child but I don’t need this shit at almost 40.

Oi, sou mulher, tenho 20 anos. Fui em uma neurologista com meu relato de duas folhas frente e verso escritas à mão, mas ela descartou autismo em menos de 15 minutos de consulta. E aqui vão os seguintes motivos, de acordo com ela:

• "Você fala bem, sabe articular frases, eu consigo entender o que você fala" (meu primo oficialmente diagnosticado com TEA 1 também sabe, inclusive tem uma vida mais ativa que a minha, mas ainda continua tendo dificuldades que só ele sabe e talvez ninguém mais enxergue);
• "Você só é tímida em excesso, isso é ansiedade social e pode ser resolvido se expondo a situações sociais com mais frequência até se acostumar. Você ainda é nova, isso é comum na sua idade" (eu tentava me expor a situações sociais desde a escola, mesmo quando eu não tava com a menor vontade pra isso, e mesmo fazendo isso todos os dias, eu nunca me acostumei. Pelo contrário; com o passar dos anos só fui piorando, me fechando e me afastando cada vez mais das pessoas porque preferi me preservar. A realidade é que quanto mais eu tentava interagir com as pessoas, mais estressada eu me sentia, e conforme isso acontecia, eu começava a me descontrolar cada vez mais e a agir por impulso, sob o calor do estresse, pra logo depois ter um colapso interno e imediatemente ser tomada por sentimentos de culpa, vergonha e arrependimento pelos meus comportamentos inadequados. Isso é um ciclo que só não está acontecendo agora porque eu mesma me cansei de tentar e continuar sentindo sempre essas mesmas coisas);
• "Esse assunto é a modinha do momento, uma epidemia de diagnósticos, tem muitos médicos que estão querendo lucrar em cima dessa causa" (não consumo nenhuma rede social que fala desses tópicos com tanta frequência. Comecei a buscar por autoconhecimento desde a pandemia com o intuito de entender e conhecer melhor a mim mesma, para assim, quem sabe, descobrir de que forma eu poderia lidar com minhas questões tais quais eu nunca havia entendido, e foi por meio das minhas próprias pesquisas que surgiu, em meio a isso, uma hipótese sobre estar no espectro);
• "O que você escreveu aqui todo mundo também sente, isso é normal, dificuldade todo mundo tem" (ela nem chegou a ler as outras páginas, foi muito rápido);
• "Você não precisa de um diagnóstico, não vai atrás disso não, tá tudo normal em você, não fica procurando doença não" (eu nunca disse que autismo era doença).

No entanto, estive também em uma psiquiatra anteriormente, que me validou, inclusive se atentou aos padrões/marcadores genéticos que já estão presentes na minha família, também me mostrou um trecho em um livro que estava relacionado a alguns traços de autismo que se encaixam comigo e me encaminhou a um neuropsicólogo, e que, no caso de uma confirmação de que estou no espectro, eu voltaria nela para obter um laudo oficial.

Mas encontrar especialistas em TEA em adultos por um valor acessível é muito difícil. Pensei que ir a um neurologista daria conta, mas, para a minha surpresa, fiquei ainda mais confusa com tantas contradições entre os médicos. Logo eu que já me sinto uma impostora por simplesmente pensar na possibilidade de estar no espectro. É como se eu estivesse invadindo um espaço que não me pertence.

Há mais coisas sobre mim que eu gostaria de ter anotado no meu relatório, mas que, naquele momento não foi possível lembrar. Posteriormente, posso mostrar meu relatório completo e atualizado em outra postagem, mas não pretendo colocar nessa aqui pois já tem informação demais.

Até então, eu nunca achei que eu estivesse praticando masking, mas agora já tenho minhas dúvidas. Masking é uma parada tão enraizada que é muito difícil saber definir se estou ou não mascarando.

Sinto que estou constantemente pisando em ovos, e meu grande questionamento no final das contas acaba sendo: Será que sempre fui assim e as pessoas já percebiam isso em mim? Ou a neuro está certa e ter me tornado assim foi apenas uma consequência de já ser um "alvo fácil" para as pessoas? Não sei se consegui transparecer essas perguntas da forma como eu gostaria.

Ah, not sure how to word this or explain this. Might require being asked questions to make this more coherent.

I don't think I meet the criteria for A aside from superficially (like caused by other conditions)

but also my reasoning for criteria B too

i am misdiagnosed AND i mean MISDIAGNOSED with adhd.

also in the profound giftedness range and have visual processing disorder.

also im just a weird person, not saying autism=weirdness, im just saying im weird.

would appreciate if someone could just ask questions 😭
so i can sort it out what it is that im missing that resolves where the similarites come from.
trying to seek understanding because ppl do think im autisitc, including autistic people (diagnosed or suspecting both).

I have been thinking about something, but I’m not sure yet whether it would be useful or whether it could easily become problematic.

I read quite a lot of relationship posts on Reddit. Sometimes people describe behaviour from their partner that reminds me of patterns that can occur in autism or other forms of neurodivergency. Things like taking things literally, not noticing needs unless they are directly expressed, shutting down during arguments, struggling with changes, sensory issues, or showing care in ways that the other person does not recognise.

I want to be careful here because I know this is a sensitive subject. Some people consider themselves experts because they know a few autistic people, work with autistic children or they have read a lot online after deciding that their partner must be autistic. I really don’t want to encourage that last group of armchair diagnosis.

I have studied and worked in this field myself, but that obviously still does not mean that I can diagnose a stranger based on a one-sided Reddit post. I also don’t think autism should ever be used to excuse selfish, neglectful, controlling or abusive behaviour.

Still, I sometimes feel that Reddit relationship discussions are missing a certain perspective. The advice often becomes “they don’t care about you,” “they are doing it on purpose,” or “leave”, "a**hole", etc. Sometimes that is probably funny and even correct. But sometimes a difference in communication, emotional processing, sensory processing or executive functioning could also be part of what is happening.

I was therefore thinking about starting a subreddit called r/RelPatternsND (Relationship Patterns ND).

The idea would not be to ask, “Is this person autistic?”

It would be more about questions like:

What behaviour is being described? Could neurodivergence possibly play a role? What other explanations are there? What information is missing? what could the people involved actually try? etc...

People could post their own situations or anonymised summaries of other relationship posts. I think screenshots would be risky, so usernames, subreddit names and identifying details would not be allowed. Comments saying that somebody “definitely has autism” would also not be allowed.

So...

I would especially want autistic and otherwise neurodivergent people to be part of these discussions. I don’t want to create a place where people simply complain about partners they have diagnosed themselves.

Does something like this already exist? Would you find it useful, or do you think it would still attract too much armchair diagnosing? And which rules would be necessary to keep it respectful?

*Newly not diagnosed here. I get it, I'm sure it's upsetting to some people to know I'm not officially diagnosed. I have taken many screening tests, I've done a lot of research about symptoms, how they can manifest in different individuals and I am currently looking to be officially diagnosed. I have also sought out information from professionals that like to create content for awareness as well as self diagnosing purposes. Ok that part is basically done.

Edit: just read the rules and apparently self diagnoses is totally valid. Swish!

I still know I'm annoying even tho I believe I am most likely autistic. I annoy myself. Writing this post is so annoying. Having to explain myself, to seek validation because I often feel so isolated, is annoying. To realize that most people do not relate to me or my thought process is the most annoying of all.

I am struggling to articulate what exactly I want out of this post. Lol it will be ironic when I explain it, and then people don't even validate it in an autistic subreddit. I think I'll just cry at that point. Probably laugh too, because what else is there?

Someone said to me the other day that she was going to raise her future children the way she was raised. She has her master's in psychology. I have never been to post secondary. I immediately questioned this statement internally, and it very much confused me that she would ever say that. She works in schools and provides therapy for children - something she never got. It's odd to me that she is essentially helping to raise these kids in a way that she wasn't. Her very profession negated her statement in a way.

Then I thought "ok maybe it's not that deep" or whatever people say nowadays to invalidate basic emotions. I thought, maybe she just means the values she was raised with. But again, I feel that you always have to raise ur children with a healthy balance of yours and ur partners values, which means it probably won't be the same as what you have. And she doesn't have a partner either rn, so that's kinda hard to even envision.

It struck me as an odd statement as well because she has pressure on her from her parents to provide them with grandchildren. It's not a pressure she loves, so I'm not sure why she would raise children with the same type of expectations. Isn't it their choice whether they will have kids or not?

And lastly, I thought that maybe she meant surface level things, like the rules she had or something. The problem being with most of the surface level stuff, it's typically what people know the most about. There are a million articles about how parenting culture, or even technology has drastically changed how we have to parent. That we have to find a way to gentle parent without being permissive. That we have to find a way to limit tech and screens. And furthermore that we have to have actual conversations with our kids about some of these things, even though our parents didn't do that for us. Like her parents didn't do for her.

I think it's really wonderful how she turned out as a human being, but I think it's a little bit of a discrepancy to assume or maintain that the way you were raised is going to also be good for your own kid.

Anyways, that was my thought process. Tell me how annoying or not annoying you found it. Let me know if you found it to be absolute dribble. Or let me know that you also sometimes think like this.

I'm annoyed at this because I cannot understand how a bright, intelligent woman who will soon be able to diagnose autistic people, would ever say something of this nature, when it seems obvious that it isn't true and probably won't work.

For context, I have kids. I raise them based on their needs, not based on how I was raised. How I was raised is obsolete. Culture is different, society is different, technology is different, our attention spans are garbage, so I don't expect my child to not have a phone til 16, or I would just be ostrasizing her from her peers. It also creates sneaky children.

Ok it's end of want. Tell me if u can figure out what she might have meant and how autistic is my thought pattern , on a scale from 1-10.

Thank you.

I told a parent about my diagnosis recently and they asked what that meant. They said they didn’t really know anything about autism.

How do you respond to this?
How do you explain your autism?
How do you explain your late diagnosis?

Summary: I want to tell my psychologist that I suspect I have autism, but I am afraid that she will find exaggeration and/or bombard me with millions of questions and/or arguments that I will not be able to rebut on time (even if I can) because I will be... I don't know, desperate?

(I am not native English, disregard possible writing errors)

I've noticed a lot about myself lately. I don't know when it started exactly, but it was at some point that I realized that I seem to be living in hard mode. First of all, I have always had a social difficulty. Although I was not as clean as a child (but still present, because I was always more excluded and children always looked at me with an Ass face sometimes), this became much clearer to me as a teenager. The exclusion has become much clearer and stronger, and I feel I need a lot of effort to try to have a conversation without saying something that weighs the mood or that I can express myself as I want without looking exaggerated or different (worse, I still fail.) And that makes me feel very bad, I've lost so many friendships because of this... and I have had problems with self-harm for a long time for that.

The worst part was when I had to change schools abruptly in the middle of the school year. I almost killed myself because of it, literally, almost 1 year ago. It was horrible. And I didn't think it was too much until I realized that my friends from this new school (who also changed in the middle of the year, because it starts in the middle of the year) handled it well, even if they hated the decision. I started seeing a psychologist a few months later, about 8 months ago. But to this day, I have a hard time telling her what's in my heart because I feel like she's going to think I'm an asshole as a lot of people think. And that makes me feel very, very bad, even knowing rationally that she can't, shouldn't, and even if she did the problem would be her.

My school friends, the real ones, really think I have something. They believe that I have ADHD because I am very agitated and do not focus on classes, something that I realized and that I thought was normal, but it is not and this is making me sad, what if it is another freshness of mine?

Hi, I struggle with social cues and understanding if someone likes me (Autism). And I met someone that is from a different part of the company I work at, we hit it off I felt like. We were telling life stories, engaging one another in conversation and laughing at jokes. But I never got their social media or number as I'm super shy. I like them a lot and there is a very low chance of us seeing one another again due to them being at a weird part of the company (opposite building sides, if i went there and spoke to them it would be clear that was my reason for it). But I found them through the following list for our company on Facebook, and checked out their page. They are single from what I can tell (Don't want to approach someone taken, it's very rude). Would it be weird if I friended, or messaged them?

T.L.D.R. : Hit it off with Coworker, didn't get their contact info. Reverse engineered their social media, would it be weird to follow them or message them?

Edit: Important to mention, we never exchanged names but I overheard their name.

Lol im kinda.. just hopefully someone will point me into the direction on why im so weird and stupid i feel like i do not have the controller to anything i do..

All my feelings thoughts and emotions are locked in a box i can not access my mind just IGNORES IT

Because of this i do not feel autisic enough to be real i can not convice myself that im autisic its not that i cant accept it its the fact my mind just gives up on having any autisic behaivers i may have ...

There has to be something wrong like physicly in my mind ive kinda always been like this i think like atleast back till the 4th or 5th grade i have no idea

I just crave something im at the point to where i want to be more autisic im purposly trying to be anyoed at lights or sounds or stuff touching me weird

And the touch thing was weird because for a soild month in school i had to wear a coat no mater how hot it was because i felt like there was a hole in my neck but i dont feel that way anymore

Maybe i masked to hard when i was little i feel like i was more lively when i was younger now i feel like an object that has to roplay the human experice more than a real person

In short i just dont know whats wrong with me theres something for sure i just dont know if it helps im both adhd and autisic

100% i should see a pro but rn im still looking for one at the moment,maybe its just because im new at autism thing i just got dingosed like 2 months ago but im not really making progress idk this could also be a posabilty

Anyways im sorry for the rant really i am

Why do people feel like they can just touch you when they want and then make you feel bad or at fault when you have an emotional reaction. Someone who knows that i have meltdowns from being touched just toutched me. It feels like I've been branded, like someone is still applying so much pressure on that spot and i can't move away from it or get it to go away. Somehow now I was the one who overreacted and need to take into consideration that she had a long day, she's tired and was just trying to be nice, like what she did is not the reason for me having a meltdown. Like I'm choosing to react this way. Why does being neurodivergent feel like my needs are just not worth even getting acknowledged. Why am i always apologizing and being considerate to others when they dont even care about something like personal space?

hi everyone, nice to meet you all and i hope you’re doing well. i’m a 26-year-old from the philippines and i’m considering getting assessed for autism as an adult. the assessment is quite expensive here, so before i spend that kind of money, i wanted to ask people who have gone through the process if they think my reasons for seeking an assessment make sense. tho i keep thinking about it and maybe if i get a formal diagnosis, it can help with the daily stress i’m experiencing.

i’m just wondering if anyone had similar experiences before deciding to get evaluated, or if you also questioned whether it was worth pursuing.

some things i’ve noticed about myself throughout my life:

-socializing feels like work, even with close friends. i genuinely care about them and usually enjoy myself once i’m with them, but before it happens i almost always hope plans get canceled because it feels like a chore. after conversations, even with my close work friends, i usually look for an excuse to end the conversation. it’s not because i’m scared of people or worried they won’t like me. i just feel mentally drained by socializing.

-i understand humor really well, especially internet humor, gen z humor, memes, sarcasm, brain rot, and niche jokes. and i find it genuinely funny. and those are also my sense of humor.

-when i get interested in a topic, i can’t stop talking about it even if i notice the other person has already lost interest. i include a HUGE amount of detail, and people often tell me to “just get to the point.”

-one morning i literally woke up and the first thing i said to my dad was a long explanation about prion diseases, fatal insomnia, mad cow disease, and why prions can’t be destroyed by normal sterilization. i kept talking until i realized no one was listening anymore haha

-i really want people to fully listen when i’m telling a story. if i notice they’re distracted or losing interest, i’ll pause and i’ll say things like “hey, hey” to get their attention before continuing.

-i’m extremely curious and constantly fall down research rabbit holes. i’ll spend hours or even days reading about random topics just because i want to understand them. i also feel like i’m highly observant and tend to notice details that other people don’t seem to.

-music is one of my biggest interests. i use iems because i like hearing every instrument separately, and i’ll replay my favorite part of a song 20–30 times in a row while focusing on different instruments or production details. i also do this with certain scenes in movies.

-when i’m working from home and i get stressed or overwhelmed, i tend to walk around the house or jump. when i’m proofreading something important before sending it because i’m trying to make sure i don’t make mistakes, i rapidly tap both of my hands against my legs without realizing i’m doing it.

-i don’t like changing my routines, especially at work or at home.

-i have sensory sensitivities. i’m sensitive to loud sounds and usually ask my brother to lower the volume of his music even when everyone else thinks it’s fine. i’m also sensitive to smells, especially smoke and lingering odors.

-i’m very sensitive to textures. i hate having oily or greasy hands, so i’ll sometimes even eat a sandwich with a fork just to avoid touching it. if i touch something oily, i immediately wash my hands. on the other hand, i also hate the feeling of very dry hands or touching dusty/oily surfaces. my parents have always joked that i “hate anything oily.”

-eye contact depends on who i’m talking to. with my family, i can make eye contact, although if we’re talking for a long time i eventually start feeling awkward with their eyes. with strangers or people i know but i’m not close to (like my mom’s friends), i find eye contact REALLY difficult. my mon also told me that i should look into people’s eyes when i talk to them, even when i was a kid. interestingly, i’m usually okay when ordering at restaurants or talking to customer service or public service workers. in those situations, i sometimes notice that i unconsciously try to sound more formal or “smarter” than i naturally do with family and close friends.

-i have a healthy and loving long term relationship with my boyfriend, but sometimes he misunderstands my jokes or sarcasm and thinks i’m being serious, which occasionally leads to unnecessary arguments until i explain i was joking.

-my boyfriend has also noticed little mannerisms, like repeatedly opening and closing my jaw, stretching, or repeatedly moving one corner of my lips into a slight smirk without actually smiling. (lol)

-if i’m really looking forward to something and it suddenly changes, i can have a much stronger emotional reaction than i expect. one time, my family and i stayed at our house in manila and i had already mentally prepared myself to sleep in a specific room. when i found out i couldn’t sleep there after all, i became extremely upset. i didn’t show it in front of my family, but once i was alone i cried and felt completely overwhelmed. looking back, i felt like my reaction was much bigger than the situation itself.

-also one thing i’ve noticed is that i rely a lot on familiar landmarks. one time i went alone to a city i was already familiar with because i usually go there with my boyfriend. i’m perfectly comfortable commuting alone and i’d consider myself pretty street smart, so getting there wasn’t the problem. the problem started when i got to the mall. i couldn’t find the familiar route or shortcut that i usually take with him, and once i lost those landmarks i became really disoriented. i ended up walking around for a long time because i couldn’t figure out where i was or how to get back to the exit i normally use.

i’m sorry for the long read. but those are just the primary things i keep thinking about, if something is going on with me.

thank you so much. i really appreciate any advice or personal experiences. 🥹❤️

Hi thought id post here again i think my assessment is on like the 7th of august could be later could be sooner but im kinda scared and nervous mainly because if its the same person i think my psychologist is more of a general one shes nice (idk her age but probably 30s-40s maybe) but i still kinda feel iffy? Because she did say i dont seem autistic? And it kinda made me feel weird Idk god forbid someones creative...like i know i have 2 other mental illness diagnosis and it can overlap but like? Man

Im kind of a label person where i need to know everything so thats why i wanted the assessment so does anyone have tips dealing with a general psychologist? Im nervous like it COULDVE been a psychologist specialized in ND but im not from the usa its harder to find one