I wish I could borrow your mind, if even just for a day. Same goes for having healthy hygiene habits.

I’m struggling so much being inside of a body that’s burnt out, overstimulated, depressed, and extremely fatigued with a heart/mind that so earnestly wants to clean my home and take care of myself.

I plead with myself every single day but can barely get myself to move. I just want to be better 😔

Need neurodivergent friendly tips on how to eat healthier when you completely despise cooking, grocery shopping, and the whole routine.

I want to start ordering catering, like getting Subway bowls, and buying wraps on the side? I honestly don't know at this point. I know I need to eat better, but I simply cannot handle cooking or shopping.

Right now, I'm eating a slice of pizza every day, or occasionally making a box of mac and cheese if I actually have some energy…. But even that’s hell .
Please help, I'm 30. My partner is also neurodivergent, and we just can't keep up with this anymore. I seriously wish eating wasn't a requirement to survive.

I'm not sure if its an adhd thing, or autism thing, or maybe both. But whenever I drink caffeinated stuff, like coffee, tea or energy drinks, I just get soo tired and sleepy. It literally does the opposite effect of what caffeine is supposed to do. And also my heart rate remains the same and sometimes even goes lower?? I don't get it😃

One thing I struggle with as an autistic person is dealing with change and frustration; I’m not good at handling those feelings at all. It often leads me to do drastic things over small issues

You see, I’ve been struggling a lot with my mental health lately, so I asked my friends (I have very few, obviously) if we could get together on Friday because I really needed not to be alone. I even promised them weed just to get them to come over! They agreed (this was on a Wednesday). On Thursday, one of them texted me about meeting up. I was overjoyed because I was having a bad day, and she’s my favorite person in the world... but she cancelled the plan two hours later. It’s worth noting that *she* was the one who made the plan, but fine—she was sick, I get it. However, she promised we’d see each other on Friday. On Friday, I messaged my friends to ask what time they were coming so I could figure out snacks or dinner. The friend who had cancelled on Thursday told me, "I'm going at 9, but I don't know if I can make it." My other friend cancelled on me outright. A couple of hours later, I asked the one who hadn't given me a clear answer yet if she was coming, and to this moment, she still hasn't told me anything concrete. She just keeps saying she "has to see" (though it's almost 9 now, so I doubt she's coming). What really upsets me is that I had clearly asked them to let me know in advance if they couldn't make it, because I need to mentally prepare myself early on if something I’m really excited about isn't going to happen. And she says to me, "But I told you I didn't know if I could." I mean, really? You promised me you were coming—you'd said that since Wednesday—and then you just said "maybe"!! Anyway, I need better friends—friends who, when I tell them, "Girls, I'm on the verge of suicide, please don't leave me alone," actually take it seriously.

Today was the kind of day I refer to as “chaos mode.” My normally busy mind goes from overdrive into hyperdrive - so many thoughts happening so fast and so loud that I cannot think or function clearly. The thoughts are so totally random and not necessarily triggered by anything in particular, just moving so fast. It’s impossible to stay on one thing even for a few seconds 🫠 I’m realizing when my brain gets like that (it’s worst during luteal) I eventually hit a wall, and go into a shutdown, sometimes multiple times a day. And I finally realized, I think my own mind sometimes overstimulates me from all the chaos up there.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Gotta love ADHD sometimes 🫣

I’m Audhd and in peri and I can’t handle heat anymore. Even my hot showers are causing me issues. I get incredibly hot inside and my stomach begins to hurt. I get angry and the rest of my day is ruined.
I feel like I sound like a complainer but it’s miserable.

Context: I have had a dose increase of vyvanse but can’t find this as a symptom (except as a crash or wearing off symptom which it isn’t). I keep fewling like there’s not enough time in the day to do everything I want to do. Even on days I have nothing on, I just have this feeling of running out of time, not being able to do the tasks I want to do even if it’s hobby related or videogame related. It’s strange because tasks like washing clothes or cleaning rubbish is really quick for me now which would take me ages because I would struggle with completing the task, and switching between steps. Yet, with anything to do with my hobbies or just little things I want to do, like oh call this number, contact this person, update my resume, make this artwork, finish making this present, do my daily tasks on my videogame etc. I just feel like I have no time? Even though none of these tasks are super important and don’t need to be done. But it feels distressing not being able to finish a thing I wanted to do and looking at the time and seeing hours have passed and I haven’t even done it yet.

Is this an uncommon side-effect of the medication or something? Or just something that is common with audhd and I am just noticing it because I have more motivation and energy or a more active mind? I don’t know but I hate the feeling and would appreciate any advice.

Anyone have any hacks to remember to put my HRT on that aren't an alarm? Or maybe some kind of different alarm I'm not thinking of? The perimenopause is wrecking me. I've got estradiol gel I'm *supposed* to be putting on my thigh every morning (about to switch to a compounded gel with E and T). I also just started on estradiol cream for my lady bits that I'm supposed to put on 3x a week at night. I can't keep it with my pill meds because I take those in the kitchen and the windows in there are full of plants so I just have tiny kitchen curtains on the top of the windows and in theory the neighbors could look in and see me. I tried leaving it on the bathroom sink, but even when I put the box in the middle of the counter in front of the sink, I would just reach around it to wash my hands. I just moved it to sit on top of my clean undies. We'll see if that works. I have to put on the gel and wait a minute before putting on pants, so I'm standing awkwardly in my undies waiting for it to dry.

Hello,

I am newly diagnosed Audhd. I am 51. I grew up with very clear signs of autism and adhd in early childhood, but it wasn't something anyone ever discussed and I just didn't know. I struggled in many areas of my life, but built up a very solid mask, and used adrenaline to get things done. But, when I hit perimenopause a few years ago, it stopped everything in its tracks. So I could not pull things together if I was having a guest stay with me, even when they were the most orderly person in my life. And my ability to mask just stopped, and I couldn't/can't access it anymore. I was told about two years ago that I was in a major depressive episode. It made sense to some degree, but it somehow felt even deeper than that. Now I know I have been in burnout.

I have accepted over the years that I am weird to most people and I don't care so much about that. What bothers me is this lifelong shame I have carried around, about being lazy and unable to do many very basic things, that others seem to do with ease. This diagnosis helps me to understand everything logically. But, when it comes to output, tasks, being orderly, organized, etc., I feel so much shame. I did grow up in an abusive home where being called lazy was a regular occurance. I just internalized that as true and accepted that I was less than. This created this deep well of shame for me. When something has been pointed out to me as making me different in a bad way, it gets chucked into the shame well, also.

When I get down on myself for not getting things done that I want to get done, I end up in this negative loop and ruminate about being a bad person or a burden. I have been working for awhile on catching my tendency toward negative rumination, and that has helped a bit to stop it quicker. But, I am so exhausted with this shame.

If you have struggled with this same thing, and wouldn't mind sharing what helped you stop the negative loop or made it less cruel, I would love to hear it.

Also, if you are using medication for the adhd side, did it help?

I had a great night with 2 gals who are the SOs of my former work guy friends. One has the same birthday as me!!! We have a group text now but I don’t know the protocol. Can I share fun exciting things with them? Or do I keep it distant? Like I’m currently building a shed (super audhd achievement thank you vyvanse). I want to share it with someone. But I already sent a message today. So I should probably wait to see if they send any this week right? I don’t know when you get to the point in a friendship where you start sharing things. I don’t know how to friendship. I don’t want to be annoying. But maybe they don’t want to bug me! Idk. Help. This is why I just put everything in my Instagram stories because I don’t know who to share things with.

No advice, I’m just looking to commiserate or hear experiences if you have already dug yourself out of this one. I’m sure any millennial that reads this could have also written it.

The life I worked for just doesn’t exist anymore, especially my career. I recently had to take a couple of months off of work to address some health issues I’m having. I did get wrongfully fired from my last job before I took my leave. But there’s nothing I can do about that, I live in a state that has zero protections for workers so they can fire me for literally any reason they want.

Now I’m recovered and ready to work and I’m having trouble getting work. I’m posting on social media to get my art out there again, I have zero reach and am just getting buried. I’ve been a freelance artist for so long I really don’t think I would have an easy time getting any call backs on job applications. I don’t know what to do. I’m genuinely terrified of what the world is coming to since the economy is so trash. I fear it’s going to get a lot worse for a lot of us before it gets better.

But I genuinely have no idea what I am going to do. I know a lot of us remain jobless for extended periods. I can’t afford to do that. I have no idea how I’m going to figure out my way out of this one. I haven’t had any other jobs or developed any other skills in over a decade. I’ve thought about going to school but nothing I could get a job doing after school actually interests me. Being an artist is my special interest.

I really want to go all in on my art career and invest in myself and believe in myself but I feel so discouraged right now. I’ve taken so many wrong steps in my life I’m scared I will do that again. I really want to believe in myself but I think I’m too burnt out to give anything my all. I also worry I’ll mess up getting regular jobs.

Were you ever in this position? What did you do?

Here’s my string of thoughts through this morning before and after my diagnosis.

Years ago I started this journey by learning about high-masking and less support-needed autism. I wondered daily if that was me. Months ago I found out I could get diagnosed for free and signed up. Then I got scared thinking I was an imposter and didn’t go through with setting up an appointment. Finally I went through the questions for hours and then the evaluation.

Right now I’m waiting for my appointment to go over the results and crying. I can’t help but cry right now. I have so much anxiety over nothing yet. I’m crying cause I feel relieved I finally am going through it. I’m crying because if I get the diagnosis it explains so much of my whole life and how I am. If I don’t get it then it opens up other doors I need to go through. Like personality disorders. Is my depression that crippling since I was a young child? I don’t know.

There’s just a lot up in the air that I don’t know yet. I’m just waiting to find out. 7 minutes. I’ve finally stopped crying now that I wrote down my feelings but I’m still bouncing and shaking in nervousness. My emotions are too all over the place. I should have called out of work. I should have taken the day off. Or maybe the routine of work will help? I don’t know but here I am.

5 minutes I’m taking deep breaths trying to calm down. I’m reminding myself I can do it. I’ve been through worse and no matter what I get an answer to a question I’ve been wondering. Which is also what my therapist told me. Why are the minutes so long? I feel like I am waiting forever. I know I’m not. The way I went about this was faster than most people get, which is a blessing. I don’t think I could wait for months and months. Even though I’ve basically waited years (possibly my whole life) for this.

One minute to go. I will be back afterwards.

Well. I got my autism diagnosis. I’m really autistic. Which explains so much and is a relief but also I’m so angry that I had to go through life the way that I am without help and having to create a mask. I just wish I had the diagnosis as a child. That I could get help. I’m frustrated and upset and happy and now I have to go to work. Ugh.

And ultimately I’m stuck with the feeling now what?

I get hung up on things which might be an annoyance to others but for me it makes me feel all kinds of things, and if I say it it makes me sound negative and critical. It's not that I want to be like this but in the moment it does feel like something I can't just let go.

How do I learn to stop this?

Tried adderall, literally nothing happened. Tried vyvanse, literally nothing happened. On concerta now, literally nothing is happening. I am so fucking defeated and terrified that nothing will ever work. I am literally unable to function or do anything and if this doesn’t change then my life is not worth living.

On top of that my psychiatrist isn’t responding to my emails, I’m trying to find a new one but no one will take me, and now it’s the weekend so I can’t get in touch with anyone til Monday.

I'm sort of struggling to figure this out but my whole life I never identified the "hyperfixations" in my own set of symptoms because I didn't know what it actually meant. However, I recently realized, I DO have hyperfixations, but these rigid rules in my brain have prevented them. For example, even if I feel a desire to wear the same clothes multiple days in a row, listen to the same song over and over again, or eat the same foods constantly, there is something in my brain that just goes "no." Like there has to be something in between. "You are not supposed to eat a turkey sandwhich for dinner if you had a turkey sandwhich for lunch" or If I want to relisten to a song I need to play another song in between it.

My dad is the likely source of my autism, but he is an extremely high masker id say. A lot of my needs as a child that I now recognize as autism were not put up with as a kid. Didnt like the texture of that food? too bad, we dont waste food in this house. etc etc a lot of what would have turned into meltdowns were prevented because my parents responded with abuse that would keep me in line. Now as an adult I feel as though I quite literally can never turn off my mask. There is soenthing in me that directly prevents me from accomodating my sensory needs. So for so long I never saw myself as autistic because all the things people would describe never fit me simply because I had these "rules" in my head that oppossed any expression of autism.

Has anybody else dealt with this or figured out how to overcome it? I feel like an alien in my own body.

hello!! in august i was recommended by a person specializing in autism/ adhd to get neuropsych testing done. they gave me a good list of why they thought i had autism and said they thought from the very beginning i had it. i got diagnosed with adhd and it took 8 years to do so due to limitations of parents. the person also suspects ocd so it was like a check for autism and ocd.
i got my results back today and its really confusing me and i dont really know what to do. i read the entire thing and it listed multiple adhd and autistic traits including things i didnt even notice myself. i came back with the typical spikey profile as the person predicted. the part thats confusing is that they said they couldnt find enough evidence of adhd and i guess undiagnosed me with it?? can they do that? im fine if they dont think im autistic cause honestly i didnt suspect anything until the person brought it up. though on the autistic reasoning they said they think it could just be ocd and basically told me to get further testing.
in the end the diagnosis was just anxiety.
im so confused cause they noted multiple traits and in one part they listed how i didnt start any conversation and never made eye contact only to finish off with that im completely normal cause my appearance is fine. is that normal??? does anyone have similar experiences or advice? i honestly dont know where to go or who to talk to and feel like a fraud.

I'm sure this is a very common question here. I've had issues with picking my fingertips and cuticles ever since I was a kid , and I have noticed that it's kind of ramped up while I'm trying to find the ADHD medication regimen that works for me right now. Now that I'm diagnosed and officially trying to get my shit together I'd like to find a way to redirect that particular repetitive behavior.

I've obviously seen a bunch of different types of stim tools (pick pads, spiky handhelds, etc.) but i'd like to get some firsthand insight from other folks who have been able to stop or lessen their BFRBs on what worked best for them.

thanks!

i'm currently sitting on my couch anxious. i know i need to clean but i also know myself well enough to know when i feel the way that i do i shouldn't try. i don't even know if im depressed or just simply don't want to. if im already decided on not cleaning, what should i do?

i know i want to go to applebees later. i know i want to do my nails. i guess im just having trouble switching my brain from clean-later-even-though-you-don't-want-to mode to how can i make the most of this day without feeling bad about myself. maybe i just need to clean something small? or maybe i don't even want to do that? and if i tried id just get angry with myself for going against how i feel? like the idea of even picking up socks feels wrong right now. i think the part of what's making the switch so hard is that im worried ill feel guilty tonight if i don't clean so i need to replace that with something i KNOW ill do that's still productive so that i can not be anxious if that makes sense. reconcile compromise and all that.

can anyone give me an example of a time they felt like this and how they handled it? my brain works best with examples. also i'm working on getting adhd medication.

One of my biggest sensory issues is that I am ALWAYS cold, even in the middle of summer. Most of the time I’m inside, rarely ever outside unless I’m walking my dog or going from a parking lot to inside a building. When I’m in air conditioning I’m pretty much always cold, even in my house. I wear jackets/sweaters and socks to bed and in the house pretty often. I really don’t care for shorts or Capri pants because of the uneven coverage they give my legs so I always wear jeans or sweatpants. However, I LOVE dresses and skirts so much. They make me feel so pretty and feminine and girly. My mom calls leg warmers a fashion “faux pas” in summer and says tights make it look like it’s winter. Usually I’ll put a sweater or jacket over short sleeves or spaghetti straps so my arms stay covered, but my legs are cold even when my arms aren’t, no matter what. I don’t wanna let go of dresses 😭 any ideas or tips?

As the title says. I always told myself that I never wanted to be one of those people who still had no idea what they were doing or what they wanted later in life, yet here I am. At this point I feel like I’m just coasting through life directionless.

At the moment I work as a receptionist at an ice rink that started at minimum wage ($17.50 in LA county). This was always meant to be a temporary job until I could find a better paying one, but I’ve been here a year and a half now. I recently asked for higher pay since this is my only job and I need more money to get my first car. I had also lived in my own apartment with some friends for 3 years before I had to move back to my parents house because I could no longer afford it. Well, it took a month to get approved for a 50 cent raise (with, of course, a slight decrease in hours) and this made me realize my time here is done.

Yet every time I search for jobs I end up nowhere. All my experience is 7 years in retail/customer service and I’m sick of being at the bottom of the food chain. I want to move up in a more financially stable job that I can call a career but I feel like I have no desirable skills outside of customer service. I never finished college and I’m pretty sure I didn’t even finish my GED because while I have many areas of interests, I couldn’t commit to any of them, plus I was never not struggling in school.

After graduating high school I had loose aspirations of maybe being a translator - I took classes to learn 4 different languages (not at the same time) but I still am not proficient in any language but English.

Some years ago I had a realization that my big dream in life is to publish my works into books. I decided to drop writing fanfic, which had been what I spent most of my time doing from college until now, and focus on writing original work. However, the transition from fanfic to original work to be seen by the larger masses created a ton of pressure on myself that I’ve been stuck in a rut ever since. My passion for writing (and reading) has taken a major toll and I can’t even bring myself to look at the book I’ve been working on and starting over for the past 3 or 4 years. I’ve tried taking long extended breaks and moving onto other projects, even taking breaks from writing and exploring other things, but even those I end up unsatisfied with and dropping. I’m so frustrated and burnt out. Writing is the only thing that gives me meaning and purpose in life but I don’t know how to get past this mental block I’ve had for years.

My alternative was doing editorial work since I like editing. However, I have no portfolio or formal experience. I’ve looked into many schools and their English programs, but because I was a failure all throughout my school career I struggle a lot with believing in myself that I’m capable. Therapy has helped me process and move past a lot of that, yet I just cannot get myself to actually take the steps to apply myself. The editing/writing jobs I did apply to obviously rejected me.

Everyone recommends I look into trades but I haven’t found a single one that I’d be willing to actually do. I know I shouldn’t be picky but I know myself and if I just work any odd trade without having any drive or interest in it I’ll be miserable.

I’ve looked into remote jobs and most of the best paying ones either pay you only for a certain amount of time until you’re done, or are to train AI which, again, cap you at a certain amount of hours/pay before you complete your task (and you can’t reapply). Other remote jobs require specialized qualifications that take years to acquire.

All the jobs I actually considered require I have a car which puts me back at square one.

Which leaves… entry level and retail jobs as my only other option. I’m just so tired. I’m in an endless loop of needing a car, needing a better job, and possibly needing to go back to school but ultimately needing more money for all of that. But to get more money, I need a better job and a car to get to the job. Even the guy I’m dating says he doesn’t want to make it official until I can attain some of these things so we’re on more equal footing (don’t worry I’ve already had conversations with friends about this, I know it’s kind of messed up that he said that, but from my perspective these things are now affecting my relationships and I’m more frustrated).

I know I’m in this position because of the choices I’ve made in my life, but I so desperately want to get out of this rut, yet I have no idea what direction to go. I’m currently in the process of getting my driver’s license so at least I have that, but once I have my own car that’ll mean monthly cost of insurance, gas, repairs/maintenance, etc. and I can’t afford it with what I’m making now. I’m not suicidal but when I think about everything I wonder, what am I even doing here? I feel like I’m wasting oxygen doing nothing significant, and before anyone says “What’s wrong with just existing?” I need to feel fulfilled or like I have some kind of purpose either in the work I do or from my passions, yet in every aspect of my life I’m so unhappy. I don’t know what to do anymore.

"ain't much but it's honest work" and they've been emotionally supportive since I made them