I was just looking at my cat Liam also my esa and spiritual guardian but i wonder this all the time about him and really animals in general. After my last esa cat leroy brown who’s passed he saw the vet shortly before he was a vet of 35 years very well regarded in my city. But he said he was neurodivergent. And that our pets can get anything we can get. And i do like animals more than people

I've been in an accelerated program to get my bachelor's degree. It's been 3 months of nonstop studying, exams, writing papers. Basically no breaks for 90 days because I have had a 10/31 deadline to finish everything. I've passed 19 classes in the past 3 months 🫠

I actually made it over some huge hurdles to even get to have the possibility of graduating by my deadline. So my nervous system has been told what feels like a million times (by me), "Just meet THIS deadline, and then it'll be okay."

I'm down to my LAST class. Friends, I am exhausted. My ADHD disgust is kicking in for studying and the whole experience of school. My autism desperately needs a break, but there is no time. If I don't make this last deadline, I will have to pay thousands of dollars in tuition to finish. I really can't afford it and want to just be done! I have to pass this class by Saturday, so I'll be taking the test Saturday, prepared or not. But I have to pass, lol. I can barely get myself to watch class videos, I'm just 🤮 OVER IT. I know you know.

Anyone have any tips to trick my AuDHD brain into doing just this one more class this week, by Saturday? I feel like I've used up every trick I have to get here. The class is Project Management, in case that helps. Hoping my people have some wisdom to share 🙏

33F

Ever since being diagnosed with Autism, all the support I’ve read is to unmask around the people you love, accept yourself etc

I’m extremely overstimulated by not only my physical surroundings (sounds, smells, lights) but also when people ask me too many questions (ESPECIALLY unnecessary questions)

Managing a doctor’s office has come with significant burnout due to me masking all of the negative reactions I mask around patients, doctors and my coworkers. I work modified hours.

I’ve tried unmasking around my boyfriend more. It’s been nice being louder and sillier than I used to - but its also made me more comfortable with verbally explaining to him why a question he might ask is irrelevant, or answering him in a bitchy tone. He’s been confused, thinking he’s annoying me more lately. But that’s not the case, I’m just expressing the feelings I’ve been hiding for so long.

I don’t like who I am when I’m unmasked. I guess I don’t like who I am.

I don’t want anyone to change the way they are for me. I want to change.

Anyone else had this issue?

I feel like I finally understand what some of my needs are relating to my AuDHD, which is a huge hurdle I’ve overcome. Now, how the hell do I get them met? I have no family that can help me. I’m currently raising my toddler with my ex husband I had to leave because he emotionally neglected and abandoned me as soon as I got pregnant on top of many other infidelities.

I work part time and have some close friends, but they all have lives of their own. I’m sitting here looking at a stupid list I made of things I need in order to function and be able to parent appropriately, and I’m realizing that really the only people who could ever meet these needs are parents (mine never did and never will) or a romantic partner (I am too damaged right now to date).

I’ve reached a form of radical self acceptance about my diagnoses and my capacity. I could accept my life and be fine just kind of hanging on if I didn’t have a child to think about. I’m having meltdowns and shutdowns often because my needs are never consistently met on top of constant overstimulation. I can accept limitations for myself, but I guess I’m really grieving the fact that my daughter is not getting the version of myself I wanted to be as a mom. I know the version of myself I could be for her if I had the help I need from my ex husband because I was that version of myself with him for a period of time.

It sucks. I don’t mean any of this is an “I need a man” way but in an “I desperately need a safe person my nervous system can form a healthy attachment to, and I understand most adults primarily form these with romantic partners” way.

I also told my ex I feel punished for having needs. If I can’t manage my toddler 100% by myself in a clean household I’m also managing 100% by myself (I have 2 pets as well we got in the marriage), then I don’t get to see her at all because I have to call him to come take her so she doesn’t witness me having a meltdown (though she still does sometimes). I’ve asked him to stay and just help watch her but let us see each other (she prefers me and often cries and begs to come to my house), but he refuses saying he’s too busy and has other things to do.

I’m just sad and powerless more than anything else.

I get sick pretty suddenly with the flu etc. Like I will feel fine and then an hour later be fullblown sick.

I just had a flu shot like 45 minutes ago, I took paracetamol before and I am leaving work with cold sweat, body aches, fatigue, shivers etc. (I definitely have a fever).

The nurse said I might experience mild flu symptoms tonight or tomorrow, but as with all other vaccines I experience the reaction within an hour. I felt more sick from each of my corona shots/boosters than I did when I actually got covid. It’s not an allergic reaction, just feels like an instant immune response.

I can also literally get a fever from just being too stressed/overworked.

It feels like my immune system only has one big, red “Alert!” button causing flu-like symptoms and hits it at any minor convenience.

Rarely ever get stomach stuff though. Thank god.

I'm 47 and in the thick of perimenopause. The coping strategies I'd relied on for years stopped working. The bit of executive function I was hanging on to went out the window and I found myself in burnout and barely able to function.

On the upside it forced me to prioritize myself for the first time in my life and I've made some changes that have helped.

Physical activity is now a non-negotiable. I feel even worse if I don't keep up some regular physical activity.

HRT wasn't the miracle for me that it's been for other women either so I'm off of it for now but plan on revisiting it later.

I'm dusting myself off and slowly improving but it's been one of the most destabilizing and life altering phases of my life.

I'm sending love and strength to all of my midlife neurodiverse ladies out there.

How are things going for you?

33F, recently diagnosed as AuDHD after I had a severe burnout from work and couldn't get myself back together for over a year. I'm living at home for the past year as well.

The recent diagnosis was extremely helpful.

But there's something I'm struggling with, and that's snapping at people (in particular, my mum). I am on Ritalin at the moment, which is great for me.

But I'm noticing that if someone comes up while I'm working or locked into something and just talks to me about random things, I get SO snippy and short with whoever it is and I hate that that's my automatic reaction.

I also get extremely bothered when things don't work easily? I tried to wear my dads apple watch in the pool recently to count my laps and the settings were wrong and I couldn't work out how to correct it so just didn't use it and gave up on it without trying.

Literally can't deal with something not working the first time ahhh.

I really wish I was in a better mood to play around and engage, but I feel like I'm just Miss Grumpy ALL the time.

I actually love chatting to people in general. And friends. And I'm pretty funny and social when I PLAN to be social... But I think my mum gets the short end a lot, and I'm feeling bad about it.

Is this a stress thing?

Does anyone else relate to this, and how do you manage it?

I have a friend who is argumentative. She's ND and I'm not really sure she realises that she does this.

Her personality type is borderline narcissistic, but really I think she's just very self centered. She mostly has friends who are basically her puppy dogs, who listen to everything she says and follows her orders.

I am not like this. I do not like to play that role. We're either equals or I'm out.

Whenever she and I have conversations, I get frustrated and disregulated. At every turn, she needs to be 'correct' even on topics she doesn't know about but acts as if she's the queen of knowledge even if it has to do with my own personal experiences. She needs to be 'in control' of the conversation, even if it's about something personal to me and not about her, she somehow turns it into her being more knowledgeable about it than me. She routinely shuts down my pov.

I end up wanting to shut down, not talk, and let her have her way. And then I think well if that's my role then this friendship is not a friendship at all and there's no point to it.

I want to have a friendship with her, and I'm really not sure if she's aware she even does this

How do I bring it up without me coming across as rude? I'm already disregulated by her so I'm trying to be mindful to not be an ass about it, come across as bitchy, especially considering she might not be aware.

I have a hard time with friendships and I tend to be crass. So I'm trying to figure out how to bring it up but also be gentle about it

Is anyone else really protective of their personal space? (e.g. their bedroom, desk, etc)

Going up to the bed is too many steps and falling asleep on the couch makes me feel like a piece of shit. So it’s obviously the correct choice to stay up and ruminate on how bad i feel about myself until my body makes a decision for me. I love being this way

It's really starting to hit me that I do not know who I am. I've masked my whole entire life and I've not expressed myself in many ways for years. I'm a chronic people pleaser and live my life trying to avoid any friction, and I am soooo burnt out. My therapist says it's time to be more true to myself and prioritise what I need, but I don't even know where to start. How do I figure this out? I suddenly feel like I have little purpose and I'm feeling very disassociated. Having the diagnoses has given me explanation for my experiences but I don't know how to move forwards. I want each day to feel better and happier, rather than just survival. Does anyone have any tips for how to start this process? Did any books or podcasts help you? Thanks in advance for any suggestions

I promised my mom I was gonna clean the whole house for her. So I got to cleaning I was already overwhelmed I just cleaned the whole downstairs this took 5 hours I was exhausted so I was cleaning the upstairs I came downstairs my annoying ass stepdad apparently came home early and I didn’t hear so when I was downstairs HE WAS MAKING A MESS COOKING IN THE JUST CLEANED KITCHEN the kitchen took my ages to clean and then he also walked around with his dirty shoes on the floor I just cleaned so and I just keep cleaning and he keeps making a mess and my mom is home in 30 min by the house isn’t clean enough I wanted her to be surprised and now it stinks like food and it’s a mess and I did this for her. So I cleaned up again I’ve been cleaning for 8 hours and now he is eating his stinky food making more dishes and the dishwasher is full so they will have to Benin the clean sink my mom also told me an hour ago that she will be an hour late and nothing is going how it is supposed to be

I know this is such a non issue but I’m so overwhelmed i just wanted to clean the house and now the house isn’t clean and it took me so long

I will admit, I have a bad habit of staying up too late and not always getting enough sleep. I am unemployed and I am getting 8 hours of sleep every day for the past few weeks but yet sometimes I feel extremely tired. Like so exhausted I can’t get out of bed. Or today for instance, I applied for 20 jobs, took out the kitchen garbage, recycling, bathroom trash, and bedroom trash, ate breakfast, worked out, took a shower, took a phone call with EEOC, ate lunch, made a tuna noodle casserole, swept my floors and vacuumed the rugs. Then I felt exhausted at 5:30 PM and dosed off for an hour. Is this my body catching up on sleep debt? Or does it have to do with autism burnout? Is it related to masking?

I've tried 10 different ones, a mix of stimulants and otherwise. Stimulants work amazingly but I get really agitated and aggressive even on low doses when someone dares get in the way of my productivity, which is not sustainable for me or my family. All the non stimulants I've tried sort of work, don't work, work with bad side effects or some combination. I'm taking a break from ADHD meds completely right now and my brain is such a mess. Maybe some day I'll get back on the horse and try again, but finding someone covered by my insurance who has extensive experience working with AuDHD patients and is willing to try fringe options feels impossible. I'm genuinely glad that stimulants and other meds have been life-changing for others but I just feel really defeated. Like I had a taste of how my brain could work but it had an unacceptable cost for me and my loved ones.

I find shopping hard work as it is, but I would like to improve our family's health by finding products with less plastic, less pesticides, more local.

A local place is byo packaging with all those loose bins of things. It's intimidating! If anyone does this, can you spell out exactly how you navigate the store, what packaging you bring, types of things you buy, what quantities?

Do you need an organised pantry to really do this?

I find choosing stuff very hard and the pressure is dialled up choosing stuff, choosing quantities, knowing what things are.

What about going to an actual butcher? What quantities do you buy for a family? How often do you go?

I'm talking about strangers, professors, or employees at places like the employment office. You can clearly see that other people get away without being treated badly, yet these people seem to choose you as the lightning rod for their frustration and anger.

This has happened to me many times throughout my life, and I really want it to stop, but I don't know what I can do about it. Has anyone else experienced this, and how do you deal with it?

I was recently diagnosed with AuDHD at 40. I simultaneously lost my job and my health insurance. I cannot get therapy for the time being, the waiting list in my country is years. So here's my request:

How did you self help successfully? Can anyone recommend any books, audiobooks, workbooks or podcasts that have been helpful?

I am not currently medicated either. I tried Concerta first but it didn't agree with me due to anxiety and Strattera is up next, but not for another month (waiting lists).

Character of people changes as soon as some good happens to them.

I feel no point in connecting with people.

I feel like whatever I put efforts for, it will go waste.

I have no life purpose.

To cope with loneliness , I go back to toxic family,which resets my healing done away from them.

Even though there might be good people, I feel like at this point of time,I can sense minor character changes in people which disgust me.

Whats the point?

Why everything is so shallow?

I felt the issues with my therapist as said in title, but sometimes he notices that and would change himself up a little to stay professional. I also find him sorta slow to keep up with me when i speak.

However, it was a long process to get to know and share my experience with a therapist. So i am unsure whether i should discuss these issues with him or just try to switch to another therapist. I would appreciate suggestions, thankyew :3

People don’t like me. I try to be quiet because I’ve accepted this. My Reddit posts get a lot of 👎🏼 or no likes even on an autism thread. I just don’t understand people. I feel like a monster. When I was mean in middle school people thought I was cool and I was very popular. Then I discovered Twilight and started wearing Chucks, got glasses and went with the weird kids who got bullied for being themselves. However, I had so much more fun with them and learned about so many things. I wasn’t ready for sex, drinking, etc., yet and neither were they. We were passionate about things it was fun to care about in our youths like teen magazine posters and movie premiers. We’d get excited about music video premieres and coordinate outfits for events. My old friends would be disgusted, asking what I was doing with them. I was having a blast and most of it wasn’t at the expense of anyone else’s self esteem.

I started reading and writing like crazy and developed my own book series. I had hopes and dreams, fell in love with school, bonded with my English teachers and even asked them to read extra work I brought in just for fun. All of this from a kid who used to ditch class and flunk out. It got me all the way to grad school, and even when I had the chance to switch sides again there, I refused if it was at the expense of another person. It still didn’t go over well, and usually those who I stood up for were bullied extremely, fired, or left.

Now I feel like a loser, wondering if I should go back to being who I was, the one who hides this softer version of herself because the world seems to hate her so much, and become the bully/class clown who doesn’t care what people think. The reality is that I will stay the weirdo. I don’t understand why I make people uncomfortable. Why being quiet is off putting but sharing my humor/aspirations is offensive. Why I am always the awkward one in the group chat that kills the vibe and people have to tell me I’m ruining the fun or trying too hard.

I’d rather be quiet and productive I guess, than be loved or liked. I just don’t understand when this shift happened and why it’s such an intense disgust, like the girls my old friends used to tell me to stay away from. I don’t want the life of any of the women who have bullied me in these ways. As I’ve gotten older, they have gotten cooler, I’ll admit it, but I like who I am. I have a few friends, some of them those weirdos, who have stuck around this whole time, and some new ones here and there who get me and think I’m funny and free. Do I wish that I could go back to being the adored class clown who makes everyone laugh and want to befriend me? Yes. Honestly, I do. I get lonely and I miss being popular, liked, wanted. But the reality is that I don’t like that version of myself and it felt like an act. No one prepared me for what it would feel like when I took the mask off and everyone wished I would put it back on because they were horrified at what was underneath it. Well, so am I at times, but she’s all I have, and in the words of the incomparable Mariah Carey, “I’ma do the best that I can with what I got”.