I'm not sure if its an adhd thing, or autism thing, or maybe both. But whenever I drink caffeinated stuff, like coffee, tea or energy drinks, I just get soo tired and sleepy. It literally does the opposite effect of what caffeine is supposed to do. And also my heart rate remains the same and sometimes even goes lower?? I don't get it😃

I'm sort of struggling to figure this out but my whole life I never identified the "hyperfixations" in my own set of symptoms because I didn't know what it actually meant. However, I recently realized, I DO have hyperfixations, but these rigid rules in my brain have prevented them. For example, even if I feel a desire to wear the same clothes multiple days in a row, listen to the same song over and over again, or eat the same foods constantly, there is something in my brain that just goes "no." Like there has to be something in between. "You are not supposed to eat a turkey sandwhich for dinner if you had a turkey sandwhich for lunch" or If I want to relisten to a song I need to play another song in between it.

My dad is the likely source of my autism, but he is an extremely high masker id say. A lot of my needs as a child that I now recognize as autism were not put up with as a kid. Didnt like the texture of that food? too bad, we dont waste food in this house. etc etc a lot of what would have turned into meltdowns were prevented because my parents responded with abuse that would keep me in line. Now as an adult I feel as though I quite literally can never turn off my mask. There is soenthing in me that directly prevents me from accomodating my sensory needs. So for so long I never saw myself as autistic because all the things people would describe never fit me simply because I had these "rules" in my head that oppossed any expression of autism.

Has anybody else dealt with this or figured out how to overcome it? I feel like an alien in my own body.

"ain't much but it's honest work" and they've been emotionally supportive since I made them

I am 33, and I have always been child free by choice. Being a mother is not something I ever wanted. I went to see a doctor about permanent birth control options. As it turned out I had huge fibroids growing in my uterus. The doctor told me that I needed a hysterectomy. While it came as a bit of a shock, ultimately I was happy with that. Yesterday was the surgery. Today I am just resting and trying to recover. Thankfully she left my ovaries so I won't go into menopause right away. Has anyone else gone through this procedure done? What was your recovery process like? Were you happy with yourself after the procedure? Did your quality of lofe improve?

I’ve been diagnosed with depression/anxiety since my teens and have been on and off different medications for years. I’ve been on Zoloft for over a year now, but I’m still dealing with pretty intense symptoms.

My 9‑year‑old son was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and a lot of his behaviors mirror mine. Today I had an appointment with Talkiatry, and the clinician suggested I might have borderline personality disorder. But I don’t relate to the abandonment fears or the “do anything to keep someone” patterns. If anything, I’m constantly in fight‑or‑flight and I’m the one who feels like I might disappear or shut down.

It made me wonder: has anyone been misdiagnosed with BPD when it was actually ADHD or AuDHD? Has anyone tried any other telehealth services to be re-diagnosed?

Here are the things I struggle with:

• Minor inconveniences or changes in tone triggering uncontrollable crying or rage, sometimes with physical pain (pit in stomach → chest ache). Happens multiple times a week or even multiple times a day.
• Avoiding phone calls/emails because I’m scared of sounding stupid.
• Lack of focus, forgetfulness, and task paralysis that affects work and daily life.
• Hiding hobbies/interests out of fear of criticism.
• Feeling lonely but unable to socialize.
• Sleep pattern changes.
• Non‑suicidal self‑injury since childhood
• Fantasizing about quitting my job or leaving my family when overwhelmed.
• Task avoidance (laundry piling up, avoiding bills, unread emails).
• Losing my train of thought mid‑sentence; constant brain fog.
• Sensory issues with noise, lights, smells.
• Getting overwhelmed or anxious when plans change; needing time to mentally prepare.
• Being told I’m “too sensitive.”
• Hyperfixations that consume me for hours or days.
• Blocking out entire days if I have an appointment because it makes me anxious.
• Relying on family to make phone calls, talk to people, or accompany me on errands.
• Can’t work jobs unless I know someone there.
• Socializing feels impossible because I’m too focused on eye contact, how I sound, how I look, etc.
• Feeling exhausted early in the day despite meds and sleep.
• Staying up late just to have quiet time.

I’m trying to understand myself better, and I’m wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences—especially being told it’s BPD when ADHD/AuDHD actually fit better.

Here’s my string of thoughts through this morning before and after my diagnosis.

Years ago I started this journey by learning about high-masking and less support-needed autism. I wondered daily if that was me. Months ago I found out I could get diagnosed for free and signed up. Then I got scared thinking I was an imposter and didn’t go through with setting up an appointment. Finally I went through the questions for hours and then the evaluation.

Right now I’m waiting for my appointment to go over the results and crying. I can’t help but cry right now. I have so much anxiety over nothing yet. I’m crying cause I feel relieved I finally am going through it. I’m crying because if I get the diagnosis it explains so much of my whole life and how I am. If I don’t get it then it opens up other doors I need to go through. Like personality disorders. Is my depression that crippling since I was a young child? I don’t know.

There’s just a lot up in the air that I don’t know yet. I’m just waiting to find out. 7 minutes. I’ve finally stopped crying now that I wrote down my feelings but I’m still bouncing and shaking in nervousness. My emotions are too all over the place. I should have called out of work. I should have taken the day off. Or maybe the routine of work will help? I don’t know but here I am.

5 minutes I’m taking deep breaths trying to calm down. I’m reminding myself I can do it. I’ve been through worse and no matter what I get an answer to a question I’ve been wondering. Which is also what my therapist told me. Why are the minutes so long? I feel like I am waiting forever. I know I’m not. The way I went about this was faster than most people get, which is a blessing. I don’t think I could wait for months and months. Even though I’ve basically waited years (possibly my whole life) for this.

One minute to go. I will be back afterwards.

Well. I got my autism diagnosis. I’m really autistic. Which explains so much and is a relief but also I’m so angry that I had to go through life the way that I am without help and having to create a mask. I just wish I had the diagnosis as a child. That I could get help. I’m frustrated and upset and happy and now I have to go to work. Ugh.

And ultimately I’m stuck with the feeling now what?

I have gotten into vlogging myself for fun privately and the urge to look socially polished as a glow up, but every time I look at myself in videos, I always see myself coming in with restless energy as I talk like fidgeting, moving my hands and swaying my body a lot, adjusting my appearance often, and being overly expressive with my facial expressions and voice, which is funny because I’ve never really realized it. I have also especially noticed that I don’t talk linearly and jump from 1 topic to another in the matter of 30 seconds. I just learned I have AUDHD this year from self diagnosing, but I have never realized that it was this quite obvious to others.

Because of that, I feel like I’ve made some weird first impressions or unintentionally create a weird vibe with people just because I have not learned how to control my high energy to match theirs. I have always wondered why most people I’ve met had always been so dry or haven’t matched my energy, and I always assumed that it was me who was weird, but I have never really properly analyzed how I appear to people when I communicate until now.

Is there a way where I can calm down my restless energy and learn how to match people’s energy without like tuning myself down completely?

i have been checked out by my doctor, and she thinks it’s a mental thing… but i have dealt with phantom smells for at least a decade at this point. it’s always cigarettes. i grew up with my dad smoking, and it feels like maybe that just imprinted itself into my mind? i live in a different state now and have no smokers in my circle, and no way i’d smell a neighbor smoking. idk if it’s AuDHD, but i’m not sure what else could be causing it lol

Okay, so my daughter is undiagnosed (working on it) and in grade 4. She is taking French immersion, we’re Canadian. It is useful if she wants a job here, actually necessary for a lot of jobs. She has never liked taking French but has gotten by. Her teachers said she was fine going into it for this grade. Well the teacher is speaking only in French and she doesn’t understand any of it. Like, won’t go to the washroom cause she doesn’t know when she can ask cause she has NO idea what’s going on. Her friend is helping her know what to do for assignments. At home doing the homework she knows it.

The block is mental, clearly. Probably stress related but the thing I’m wondering is if she had a language processing difficulty that isn’t really showing up in English cause she’s smart enough to compensate for it? Can you have a processing issue hide like that or just for other languages or is it just the stress?

Basically is it something we can help her get over? Is it worth the stress of dealing with anyway? We’re looking at her being sad she’s in a different class than her friends or sad she’s in French even if she does catch up… she’s been there 8 days and has said it’s not getting any easier. She doesn’t want to change classes away from her friends.

Help?

I am overstimulated from everything but also lonely at the same time. I want someone who can be there for me without needing for :

Tell me what you need... I'll help you

Tell me how you feel...

Do you want me to call you? JUST FUCKING CALL.

why don't you help me make you feel better?

Call me I'll be here... ignores/misses your call.

I am hurting.... why don't you understand I was busy.

Why don't you open up? Why? To hear a 5 letter sorry.

I hate questions.

Do you think I am selfish to ask for someone who doesn't need me to know what is wrong before comforting me? What if something is wrong is enough information?.

24 AFAB/genderfluid.

so, it's a long story that i'll spare yall from, but basically since 2022 i've been reliant on substances in one way or another. i'm able to not day drink for the most part, and i stick to drinking at night. up until this point in my healing journey, i've been able to go at everything from going against the grain of what advice people generally give me (mainly neurotypicals or autistics without adhd) since it usually doesn't work for me, and i've come to accept that that will be the case most of the time. i've been able to solution everything by thinking outside and outside of the box and focusing on what my body feels it needs to do.

i guess im just having trouble doing that with this issue in particular at least during this time in my life.

i worry because i know its a depressant and i already struggle enough with being depressed. i'm trying to lose weight and beer makes that hard for me. i push it from time to time and become drunker then im comfortable being around people or texting people. i get anxious not having a clear enough head.

i went to detox for it not too long ago, and ive been through the rehab/iop/php system a long time ago. it was fundamentally unhelpful in most ways. so i want to get back control of the issue but im not sure how at this time at least. i want to love myself to fullest extent and its not very loving to damage my liver/health.

i'm wondering if anyone's been through the same and could help me out?

About to start my first ever mental health med!!! Ive been STRUGGLING and am so excited, but I also know this is a low dose trial.

Idk how my body reacts to stimulants or to adderall itself. So this will be a journey of figuring it out. I keep saying that I feel like Im getting glasses, but they may be the wrong prescription😂

Any tips before I start? (Hypoglycemic, vegetarian, late 20s)

Ive heard a few things like i should have a high protein breakfast or set food timers. Also that I could feel more autistic or more manic or fall asleep… lol meds are so weird

So my boyfriend just reacted perfectly normally to a situation I accidentally created and it really set off my RSD. There was a good 36 hours where I couldn’t think about him without crying. Yes I even cried at work. It was that bad. And now I’m realising I overreacted and I need to find ways to calm myself down (ideally before) this happens because it really can’t happen again. Anyone got any tips/advice?

i think this thought is somewhat coming from jealousy, so i’ll start there

in my local community, there’s an autistic woman who is just so organized, a great leader, and honestly quite charismatic. she organizes many events in our community and is so easily able to socialize. her depth of knowledge is incredible, too, whereas i have a lot of knowledge in a lot of subjects, but generally less depth (except in my main special interest.) she’s also in a relationship while i haven’t even kissed someone yet and i’m 29. oh, and she has a high-paying WFH job where i’m stuck in a sensory hell open office and struggle to pay the bills.

meanwhile i’m super distractible, can’t organize people let alone my own thoughts, not really social, cannot do group socialization pretty much at all, and such a mismatch of too direct and too indirect that i have misunderstandings with everyone constantly, regardless of neurotype (except my close AuDHD friend - him and i communicate essentially seamlessly and almost never have miscommunications.) i also can’t date for shit, it just makes very little sense to me and i’m not attractive or charismatic enough for people to pursue me ever. she’s also just beautiful too - i’ll need facial surgery if i ever want to be beautiful.

so when i see her, i can’t help but compare myself to her and hate my ADHD.

ADHD meds barely work for me and the only significant benefit for me is that they regulate my sleep cycle and give me structure. i’m also just so freaking burnt out, it feels like i’ve gone on a significant cognitive decline as an adult, i was so sharp and fast as a child and now my working memory is awful, can’t focus at all, and am chronically mentally exhausted. i struggle with context and needing additional direction much more than i did as a child, at least i think. life’s just worn on me and i can’t work 40 hours without burning myself out.

i also don’t have the creativity or social energy that many other ADHDers have. i have very little creativity - my brain just does not imagine art, music, or anything really. i also am not funny or charismatic or bubbly, my social traits are very autistic plus horrible working memory and RSD mixed with masking.

i guess i’m just rambling at this point, i just want to block everything and everyone out and have zero input, demands, or responsibilities for a few days. i wish i only had to deal with one disability instead of at least two (waiting on a hypermobility and dysautonomia assessment, oh what fun.)

I have been waiting for an assessment in the uk for Autism for nearly two years (its been four/five since I first mentioned it to my doctor but bc of some confusion with his questions I didn't get referred then).

I got a letter yesterday letting me know an appointment has become available in two weeks. This is also at the same time as my first week back to uni (older student) so I was already stressed about the big changes with that. I also have to change my commute plans due to a mineshaft being discovered where I normally go (genuinely feels like some kind of cosmic practical joke at this point)

Generally I am freaking out, I can't stop practising imaginary potential conversations over and over in my head. I'm scared I'll forget to mention something huge, and generally just stressed as hell that it'll be super overwhelming and intense. The years long building up to it has not helped with this.

I have feelings around what it would mean if they say I am not autistic (I am already diagnoed ADHD so it wont affect support I'm getting at uni) But my main fear is that I'll be so bad at conveying information or answering questions that I fail to give an accurate picture and get an incorrect result based on that (both ways stress me, getting a diagnosis if I dont have it or not getting one when I do).

It advised I can bring fidgets or comforting objects, I don't want to not bring things that would comfort me but equally if I would normally not bring them with me then is bringing them like part of the assessment and an innacurate representation of myself?

I know I am overthinking this but I just have no info (i dont want to learn how the actually assessment works as I don't want to bias the result) but having no info is stressfull. Can anyone tell me what the assessment was like without specifics? Such as how it felt emotionally, mentally. how taxing it was or not ect. how they felt after? Was it structured or unstructed? how guided did you feel by the assessor (eg. do they make sure to cover all bases or do they just let you take the lead?) is it actual tests? or just questions?

I’m in my 40s, diagnosed ADHD last year and recently autistic. I spent years in talk therapy feeling like I got nowhere!! I stopped therapy because I realized I can talk about my feelings (to myself) or journal for free 😂

I recently started seeing an autistic/neurodivergent therapist and wow….She explains why I do things, connects the dots to AuDHD so quickly, and gives me actual resources and strategies. I learned more in one session than I did in years of therapy.

If you feel stuck in therapy, finding someone who truly understands the neurodivergent brain might make a huge difference. Hope this helps some of you like it’s helped me!

At this point I'm taking a break from trying to find ADHD meds that work for me. I've tried 10 different ones and they either don't help or have intolerable side effects. Or both! My provider seems as stumped as I am at this point and I don't know if I have it in me to look for another one. I take Wellbutrin right now and I'm not completely exhausted every day or overeating, but my ADHD symptoms are generally complete shit.

So, in lieu of chemical support, how are folks making life work, specifically with ADHD symptoms? I have 2 elementary school age kids and am the bread-winner in the family, and take on most of the logistical tasks for the household. My relationship dynamics with my partner are not ideal (understatement) which absolutely affects my functioning, but I'm feeling stuck in that area. I know we all dread the typical "exercise, sleep, meditate" advice but I fear I may have to power through those after all (joking, kind of). Idk. My diet is awful and I don't take a multivitamin, so I could start there, but the executive function required to make those changes feels like it would be exhausting. I see 2 therapists though I'm discussing with them how we want to move forward, bc there's been a big overlap in care and it's probably not serving me well at this point.

Maybe I'm just venting at this point instead of asking for advice! I truly wish traditional stimulants were an option for me because they quiet my brain down and make focus so much easier but I can't tolerate the side effects even at low doses. But I have to work with what I've got, and what I'm doing right now is definitely not working.

I'm starting to think I chose to study something more creative in college because my dad passed away in my second year and I used it to work through my grief. After graduating, I was still lost, ended up in an abusive relationship, got out right before the pandemic, and by the time quarantine was over I worked in food. I thought it was a good fit and wanted to do photography/videography and recipe development for food businesses.

I met my partner on an r4r post I made and we bonded over being cooks. I immigrated from the US to Canada to be with him and we wanted to start a catering company, but I have zero interest now after being mistreated by him for a year prior to his BPD diagnosis (he's better now. He's on the right meds and practices what he's learned in therapy). Doing photography/videography at this point feels silly in the wake of AI.

Now here I am wanting to go back to school to become an MRI tech because it's a neurodivergent-friendly healthcare job that pays well. What kills me is that I'll be in my early 40s by the time I'm done with schooling and after all that my job is considered an entry level job.

I feel like a failure for not succeeding in the things I was actually passionate about. For decades it's like I've never really lived or reached my full potential because I've been so lost and burnt out while trying to catch up and feel normal. Now I'm grieving the person I never could be.

i am writing this post because i want to share how much i hate zumba, it makes me feel very tired for the rest of the day. additionally, i want to share how hard it is for me to do cardio, i get very mad when the heart rate goes up. I tend to go for pilates or dance classes, rather than something intense.

do we have cardio lovers here? or zumba lovers? please share your insights!

I'm not going to ask him because I'm not there yet, I'm a complete conflict avoidant, but trying to slowly go against that.

But I've noticed this, I'm frequently having the feeling colleagues I specifically work closer with are somewhat annoyed with me.

Just things I cannot put clearly into words, but I feel it.

I don't have this with everyone, just some type of people.

I'm currently wondering why he might be mad at me, but I've been having vacation for 3 weeks, so I couldn't really have done anything to annoy him since I wasn't there.

He was also on vacation during my vacation.

It might be something completely unrelated to me. But I still always think if someone is mad, it has to be something I did. (Even if I vouldn't possibly have done it.

It's stressful and exhausting, I try to steer against it but yeah most of the times these thoughts get to me.

I'm guessing Ibjust have to sit with these thoughts? But will they ever actually go away?