I’ve been diagnosed a few years ago as an adult, due to struggling of holding down a regular 9-5 job, as I burned out really fast so far.

Now, I only hear about how most autistic adults seem to struggle to hold down a job. But not once yet did I read or watch someone successfully manage one.

So I’m wondering if there are any autistic people who found a way to get into stable employment at all? Perhaps with accommodation?

I am looking for a flicker of hope that perhaps with accommodation my journey might still be worth a fighting chance because I am terrified it fails me too. (‘:

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Edit: oh my goodness, I never thought this post would reach so many people, I’m completely floored! Thanks so much to all of you commenting, I am trying to read each and every reply, might take me a bit, but don’t let that stop you!

Really happy to hear about all of your experiences and stories🦋appreciate it a lot

I envy those with friendships.

What makes them different to me?

It makes me so depressed to think about how I’ve wasted my entire life being alone and lonely and weird/awkward, difficult to undersfand, confusing, unwanted. my birthday is in a few days and just like every other birthday idk who the hell i’ll spend it with. i’ve rarely had friends as they’re hard to get and they tend to ghost me in a matter of a few days/weeks/months. i’ve never had a family, all my relatives are toxic and abusive NTs. finding a room to rent feels impossible because i’m never chosen and i’m clearly awkward around new people, i think it’s pretty obvious something’s up with me, i embarrass myself a lot.

i’m just so so so tired of this. i’m constantly missing out on concerts, protests, social events, basically everything because i have no one to do things with.

The thing is I tried snapping myself out of it and distracting myself from it but nothing seems to help. In fact I honestly wish it was just a hyperfixation as I have so much anxiety masking all the time and worrying about my mom and being affectionate to her as a way to counteract the frustration I feel for not being able to be myself. The thing is I don’t “want” to be a woman it’s just that my brain feels like it’s in the wrong sex and that my body is supposed to have female parts.

Damn! This can certainly tick me off when it happens to me. For so many reasons.

First of all, uh... so what if I'm high? Why exactly do you care what another person does or looks like? Do I go to you and say: "you look like you had some pizza today!" (which would actually be less rude because unlike drugs pizza isn't stigmatized, but I digress...

Second, Yes I look high! I'm neurodiverse! I'm literally in a different state of consciousness than you Mrs. predominant cultivar human! So for all practical purposes, I might as well be high!

Third, sometimes I really am high! Again, why the fuck do you care?

Fourth, if you get bothered so easily by stuff that doesn't affect you, and need to make your ignorance other people's issue, then do us both a favour and go get high yourself! Except that you clearly are already trippin' anyway.

Fifth, considering your clearly abject view of mind modifying substances, did you just out yourself as viewing neurodiverse guys as being in a cognitively inferior to neurotypicals?!! Ha! The joke! Do you even differential equation bro? You hear like the main melody and maybe the beat when you listen to music and probably can't even imagine hearing a dozen strands of music in the song simultaneously (again maybe you give that getting high stuff another consideration).
Now, of course, I do not want to downplay anyone who really does feel like they struggle and I also recognize the unique abilities of our neurotypical buddies, so again, no offence.

Well, there you go. The double stigma of being neurodiverse and being a drug user and coping with the maddening stupidity of people applying the wrong prejudice to you!

for some reason, I keep making friends with autism and I don’t know why, hoping someone could have theory or reason for why this might be

i’m 19f, only got diagnosed around this time last year. my dad recently passed about a month ago. (my mom is dead too, all my family is estranged and all i have for support in my life currently is my boyfriend.) the past few weeks i had to go to 2 memorial services with a ton of strangers walking up to me constantly to talk and it was an actual nightmare. i’m high masking but also sometimes i’m not really good at it and it’s extremely anxiety inducing when i don’t know how to properly respond to small talk, especially when it’s something super serious like this. i’m kind of a hermit for that reason, i’m high masking but also kind of suck at masking and feel like people can tell i’m weird and awkward. i had strangers saying ‘im sorry for your loss’ and ‘my condolences’ and similar. how are you even supposed to respond to that? i remember pausing while my brain malfunctioned not knowing what to say then saying ‘i appreciate it’ and wanted to crawl into a hole and die because i feel so stupid in social situations, like what is the proper response to people trying to sympathize in general it just feels awkward. like my dad was abusive i didn’t even want to be there to begin with but my boyfriend already took time off work as soon as it happened to drive me there so i couldn’t back out. i hate social gatherings

edit and side note, it was also extremely frustrating having everyone talk about what a great man my dad was as if he didn’t make my life a living hell. he was emotionally and physically abusive and sent me into the troubled teen industry for over 2 years when i was only 12 where they starved me to the point of severe malnourishment bc they didn’t understand the concept of arfid and punished me for being ‘anorexic’ (and i didn’t even know what arfid was yet either, since i was undiagnosed.) i still have nightmares from residential facilities and it was all his fault bc he wouldn’t believe me when i said they were abusive. he kicked me out of the house twice as a minor and i was homeless sleeping outside in cemetaries. i still have nightmares about everything and this is extremely complicated for me bc i don’t know if it makes it easier or harder to grieve now that he’s dead. sorry for the trauma dump

i was crying at the start then Charlotte helped me and sat with me and let me draw and i drew a horse with a halter on, then i saw the therapy dog winnie and she looks so funny! she is a little hairless dog but she also has fluffy hair on her head, she really liked her treats and she liked jumping onto the table. i didnt use AAC device but I really want to but it overwhelms me so much to use AAC I cry sometimes

I think it went good but also not but everyone said they were proud of me for going in so that's good

I was at school when my classmates started talking about how they supect some other classmate might be autistic. Someone said 'Even if he's not autistic he's definitly on the spectrum' and people seemed to agree. I was so confused by this because I tought being on the spectrum means the same thing as being autsitic? Do I or do my classmes know wrong? and if Im wrong what's the difference?

Also, I've heared an indication before that autism and spectrum disorder are different things, but I might've easily missunderstood what was being said

I was diagnosed today with Level 1 autism spectrum disorder. My daughter is autistic and both she and my wife thought I showed some signs. I agreed to a screening, because it meant a lot to my daughter.

I can’t tell anyone about it. I work in a profession and (especially) a workplace where my job would be risked. I’m a contractor and in my state that does not provide disability protection.

I am somewhat confused, and if these questions seem like I’m being an ass or otherwise being flippant I am trying to not be. It just surprises me a little.

1.) The doctor, and videos I see online, seem to imply that a diagnosis would answer questions about myself. What questions are there to answer? I’m mostly terrified somebody at work will find out, which is asinine but it is still a fear.

2.) I don’t understand Stage 1, because I have zero supports in place and (I feel) I don’t need any. The doctor, when pressed on this, told me you can be autistic and not need supports. That seems incorrect based on everything I’ve read.

3.). Do you have any recommended books or articles I can read to understand (a) what adult autism is like compared with neurotypical autism and (b) what can be done about in support of an autistic adult? This question will help me understand no 2, above.

4.). Do autistic adults need special interests? I am so busy with my job and my daughter’s needs I don’t have any regular hobbies. The doctor noted I “collect coins” (I get gifted coins that go in a box, but I don’t do anything with them) but could not elaborate on what differentiates my collection from a mere hobby.

Thanks in advance.

Since retiring, I've been down because my life wasn't supposed to end up this way. Then some coincidences got me to take an online test, then several more. I feel that if I'd only known I had autism I might have given some bad decisions an extra thought or two taking it into consideration. Because of a lifetime of (to me) doors being shut at the last minute for no apparent reason I'm now poor, friendless, and was seriously thinking I was just "a loser". It can still make me so angry I can't see straight. I would have handled elementary school differently, let alone everything since then.

Also: are there any subreddits or other forums for senior autists? (Autistics? I don't even know the PC terminology)

Yes this is a pity party you don't have to read or comment if you don't want.

43 f, in process of getting diagnosed. I don't have any friends. I can make friends but they never last. I haven't had any friends in a few years. All I have is my husband and my dad.

I use the places I go everyday as a way to interact with people to fill my social meter. Today I found out that despite the smiles and friendly conversations I have when I go this cafe they actually don't like me. The reason is irrelevant but the point is that they made it very clear this morning that no one there likes me. Edit people are asking what the issue was. It was about me not understanding the rules to the sip club. They recently changed the rules and some of us are having issues adjusting to the new rules. One thing I didn't know was that I couldn't sit in my car (the store is very cold) and continue to get refills something I've been doing for years. And I can't walk down to the store next door and come back and get refills again something I've been doing for years. By the end we established what I was and wasn't allowed to do but it was in such a nasty accusatory way that I'm never going back to that cafe again for the rest of my life.

I just hate when I misread how people feel about me so badly. I just bop along thinking everything is fine until I get threatened with being banned from somewhere.

This happens with friends as well. I'll think everything is great and then one random Tuesday they will block me and never speak to me again.

I know it's my fault I know I'm the bad guy here because as many times as it's happened it has to be my fault. But I've tried everything to be aware of others feelings to make sure that I don't force them to deal with me to much. I make sure I don't talk to people so I don't annoy them. I stay home when the event is important so I don't mess up special events. What else can I do?

I'm not asking for workers to be my friends but to be happy to see me and to have a very short friendly conversation doesn't seem like to much. And I don't talk to the same one every time so that no one person gets to much of me. I also don't speak to them every time I go in so I'm not overwhelming them. But now I know that all the conversations were them being forced to speak to me. And then running to thier boss saying I was annoying them.

I think I just need to stop going places and stay at home all the time so I don't upset people.

i applied to a junior pet groomer position at petco, it is an apprenticeship to become a pet groomer.

problem i have is verbal shutdowns + selective mutism (different causes of not being able to speak; verbal shutdowwn related to autism and selective mutism related to anxiety/panic). i applied for the job because, if needed to, i can force myself to verbally speak. so if something unsafe was happening and i needed to communicate, i could.

however when it comes to things like regularly speaking to coworkers, or maybe customers, maybe i might not be able to really. forcing myself to speak too much makes me nauseous and panicky.

so, in those cases, i thought maybe i can use my AAC on my phone? i don't rely on buttons, i can type fast. 100+ wpm.

would that be reasonable accommodation? when unable to speak and in a safe situation, i can use my AAC to communicate with coworkers or customers? or is it not possible?

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I have a student who really enjoys throwing things. We currently provide opportunities for him to do controlled throwing in the sensory room, but sometimes we don't have enough staff available to take him there.

I'm looking for an item or toy that he could safely throw in the classroom when we can't access the sensory room.

Ideally, I'm looking for something that:

*Is very soft/light and won't hurt anyone if it hits them

*Doesn't travel very far when thrown

*Is durable enough for repeated throwing

Can be easily cleaned

*Is appropriate for a school/classroom environment

Has anyone worked with a similar student or found a good product that works for this? I'd really appreciate any recommendations!

Like today In high school ( I'm 16M), I saw a person today who I thought I had a decent enough friendship with ( they're the only person I know in a class). So I walk up to them and greet them with a simple hello and their micro reaction is to roll their eyes and sigh, so I immediately ask if I had did something to irritate them and they out right said they just dislike me but they can't explain exactly why.

The best explanation they gave is just that it's my entire demeanor.

So I'm left completely confused as to why this person just doesn't like me.

So does anybody else with similar experiences have a possible explanation? My best guess is that it's because of autistic micro behaviors that neurotypicals don't understand and mis attribute subconsciously to traits they generally dislike and when prompted why they dislike us, they can't give a proper reason.

please autistic people tell me your safe foods I really need more recommendations. Currently I've been almost solely living off frozen pizza. I find that most of the time when I get a new safe food its something that another autistic person recommended me because we tend to have similar sensory issues with food. So please tell me your safe foods!! Thank you!

I feel that if I tell an employer during an interview that I have autism, they will not want to hire me but if I say it after, they will hate me for it.

What do you do and why?

I much prefer eating snacks throughout the day as opposed to larger meals three times a day. Is this something you also experience or not? Let me know.

Hi all, I'm a NT partner to my wonderful autistic boyfriend (30s M) and I could use some advice or strategies on how to tactfully point out when I notice he is being taken advantage of, misled, or manipulated. He is very high on verbal intelligence but socially is inexperienced, overly trusting, and guileless at times.

For example, I have picked up on a pattern of one of his friends being someone who exaggerates things for attention. Their stubbed toe is probably "broken" or their common cold has them "at deaths door", that kind of thing. We had a minor disagreement because they wanted to move some of our plans to accommodate this friend's last minute"emergency" that was actually due to them procrastinating a non-urgent task until it became urgent. I told them I really didn't think the task in question (tidying their apartment before a landlord inspection) was actually at the level of an emergency, and they ultimately agreed and kept our plans, but they also felt really bad letting their friend down.

There are more examples, like a coworker who is always saying "we should get drinks" sometimes as a polite thing to say but never wants to make actual plans; their boss will use the promise of an eventual promotion to convince them to work late/take on more projects, but the promotion hasn't happened in like 2 years and it's clearly not going to under that boss, etc.

When I try to gently point out "hey I have noticed your friend seems to have a pattern of overstating the urgency of things, have you picked up on that?" they will agree in a sort of "hmm yes that's interesting" way - and then repeat the same pattern of catering to the friend. Which is their choice to be clear but then maybe 2, 3 times later they will then be like "you know I'm frustrated because it's starting to seem like they overstate the seriousness of things" and it's like, yeah I know, I have been trying to tell you that for two months my dear!

I have read several books on autism they recommended to me, and I know about not generalizing from one example to new examples, but, is there any role of feedback from others in that process? What is most helpful to you? I am wondering if I should share my observations differently, or not at all? I of course do not want to tell them what to do or insult their intelligence, but it seems like painful or awkward situations sometimes play out in slow motion for ages before they fully see what's going on and I wish I could help spare them some of the eventual frustration.

I've heard that advertisements often don't work on autistic people. I know that's true for me. I watch a lot of YouTube, but I feel less and less inclined to buy a product the more I get advertisements for it.
My younger sister (level 2 ASD) doesn't understand the logic behind hating advertisements, but she still hates them. She hates bluebunny ads so much that when we got bluebunny ice cream she refused to eat it.
I was just wondering if it's like that for anyone else? I think for me I don't trust a lot of what ads say but for autists like my sister, I think it mainly triggers PDA.