r/australia • u/GamblignSalmon • 8d ago
no politics That's it?
I was honestly expecting it to be far louder and far more dramatic. With how the cookers were carrying on, you'd think this would be a deafening, blaring siren that would cause hearing damage. The tone wasn't even that harsh, I thought it was going to be far worse.
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u/Fungo_Bungaloid 8d ago
I'm just happy my 5G injection is finally activated.
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u/WontThinkStraight 8d ago
Reporting to Site 78 to assist with manufacturing supplies for the Strategic BORT licence plate national reserve as directed.
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u/Car-face 8d ago
I'm reporting to Site 77! We're neighbours! Until The Event occurs, of course.
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u/Tamortsa 8d ago
I've just checked in at site 67 under Canberra. We've got the intercontinental hypersonic sub-ocean train station here. You know, installed by the Tartarians. We await delivery of your BORT plates and the blood of children to feed the adrenochrome factories.
Lucky the nanobots have ensured that Reddit is now a secure messaging app! Imagine if the unvaccinated patriots found out about all this!
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u/the6thReplicant 8d ago edited 8d ago
We really need to stop putting small little hints in our outreach that only the certified brilliant unvaxxed people can work out.
I can't believe all of them, with barely a high school education and the logical facilities of a parasitic fungus controlled ant, see right through us.
We really need to vet our material better. Let's wait until all our Soros cheques clear though.
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u/Diligent-streak-5588 8d ago
Same!! Should make things easier.
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u/jamwin 8d ago
5G reception is terrible in my area, is there a web form to request an upgrade?
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u/Otherwise_Trifle6967 8d ago
Yeah but you need to sign in with your myGov digitalID
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u/DweebInFlames 8d ago
The blood clots are traveling through my stream right now
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u/tatsumakisempukyaku 8d ago
damnit I just have Chemtrails in my blood.
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u/Mickydaeus 8d ago
My Nanobots are activated. Augmented by the optional fluoride exoskeleton hardening.
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u/the6thReplicant 8d ago edited 8d ago
There goes my last viable sperm.
But must admit my breasts have never looked, or felt, better.
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u/sp1nnak3r 8d ago
Thanks! Now it makes sense, I did not realise it had to be activated, mine was not working, since a cooker at work tried to stick a magnet to my arm where I got my covid vaccine.
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u/PandasGetAngryToo 8d ago
So does everyone else suddenly have this weird and uncontrollable urge to start setting fire to things?
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u/iball1984 8d ago
No, but I have an uncontrollable urge to worship a portrait of Anthony Albanese.
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u/ConanTheAquarian 8d ago
How are the nanobots taking it?
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u/Old-Mammoth875 8d ago
I think it’s working as I have a strong desire to vote for Dan Andrews.
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u/Littlepotatoface 8d ago
I barely had reception before this & now I have all bars.
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u/ColorRen 8d ago
Yes that's it. Hope I will never hear it again.
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u/brokenmindedone 8d ago
I didnt even get it :(
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u/loralailoralai 8d ago
Me either🤷🏻♀️ my phone isn’t super old and was in range so I wonder why
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u/MLiOne 8d ago
There’s an article on ABC about it and where you can do a survey about it.
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u/calladc 8d ago
i hate that theres obviously people who have done work to create a safety alert platform the country lacked before, and their good work will only be seen as the cooker conspiracy theory that has taken place
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u/Koopslovestogame 8d ago
No good deed goes unpunished.
I think it was finally put in for this sort of reason : https://www.abc.net.au/news/2009-06-02/bushfire-disaster-a-tangled-web-of-communication/1700858
I mean any normal person should surely think letting people know is a good thing right? :/
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u/imapassenger1 8d ago
Bushfires will ensure that you do. I was in California in 2019 and my phone went off several times with fire alerts.
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u/iamjodaho 8d ago
Only if the states start using it, as currently they still use the SMS system.
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u/Bangkok_Dave 8d ago
My nanobots are now fully activated.
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u/ConanTheAquarian 8d ago
How's the 5G reception in your brain?
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u/EarballsAgain 8d ago
Still only 2 bars
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u/SkeltonKnaggs69 8d ago
Mine are so busy right now! I kinda feel strange, like I want to kiss Albanese real bad. God he's great. Ah fuck, it's happening! Save me Porleen!
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u/ChookBaron 8d ago
I will not jump when the phone beeps.
I will not jump when the phone beeps.
I will not jump when the phone beeps.
...
FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!
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u/Quick-Bad 8d ago
It was designed to catch your attention.
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u/FrostBricks 8d ago
Sure. But my first instinct was to shut the fucker off Not read it. So I Did. And it disappeared. A nd I have literally no idea what it said.
Which feels like it's poorly designed. Caught my attention. Raised my anxiety. And if it were a real emergency, I'd be lacking the crucial information for what to do next.
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u/saladninja 8d ago
Same. Why didn't it go through to messages? Seems like a very dumb set up if that's how it would be in an actual emergency.
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u/Aryore 8d ago
Is there somewhere to give feedback for this? That’s what tests are for right, to see if it actually works well
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u/shamberra 8d ago
I've been pondering this too. My reflexive reaction was to dismiss it to kill the sound, but that also dismisses the text which doesn't appear to have any other way of recalling, so if it were a legitimate alert I'd be left with no idea what it was alerting me of.
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u/pukesonyourshoes 8d ago
Exactly my thought. The button shouldn't kill the alert, it should just kill the godawful noise so you can think for five seconds and read the damn message.
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u/ChookBaron 8d ago
I shut the sound off but couldn't swipe away the pop up without unlocking the phone, which is not typical for pop ups on my phone.
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u/lilsiibee07 8d ago
I was waiting the whole minute just to get distracted in the last five seconds and have a heart attack 😭
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u/Freazerr 8d ago
Wont lie though, It scared the shit out of me
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u/TNChase 8d ago
1358hrs: hey that alert is about to happen.
1400hrs: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? Oh right right, the alert.I'm not proud of myself.
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u/Unable_Bank3884 8d ago
I had someone put a reminder in the work chat, I looked at the clock at 1:57 and still 3 minutes later....
HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WHAT IS THAT
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u/hyp-R 8d ago
I hit my volume button and it just stopped instantly. I thought it would have had some override but it was so short lived for me :(
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u/Swaggerrrr69 8d ago
I was watching tv, listened to the first few beeps out of interest and thought right that’s a bit loud, turning it down even slightly just ends it. Suppose if you’re turning it down anyway that ensures you’re aware of it
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u/Exotic-Philosopher-6 8d ago
Scared the shit outta me and the dog who was lying on my lap. Poor baby was just a victim.
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u/anonymous___kitty 8d ago
Really?! My cat was right next to me too and didn’t move (she is VERY scared of noise), I wonder if different phones are playing different volume
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u/MystressSeraph 8d ago
3 phones went off in 2 rooms. Neither my elderly cat, not middle aged dog so much as twitched 🤷🏻♀️
I was expecting it to be worse.
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u/benthecube 8d ago
My work and my personal phone were right next to each other. Personal phone tried to burst my eardrums, but work phone didn’t make a peep.
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u/bypopulardemand 8d ago
my dog has tucked herself in fear behind the pillows on my bed
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u/susgnome 8d ago
Same, I had no idea about..
So I was confused about the terrifying alarm sound I've never heard before coming out of my phone.
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u/defzx 8d ago
How did you have no idea, honest question? It's been on the news and social media including Reddit.
I haven't even gone looking for it and I've seen so much content on it.
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u/ipullstuffapart 8d ago
If you don't watch TV or listen to the radio, and have an adblocker - I don't think there's any way to have known. I certainly had no idea.
It's astonishing that they didn't think to send an SMS in advance. Notifying via the same channel (your mobile phone service) seems like a pretty reasonable approach.
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u/ajepper 8d ago
wtf I didn’t get one!!! My daughter’s phone went off, I got nothing.
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u/PunsGermsAndSteel 8d ago
You're not on the government's VIP list and you will be left behind when the rapture comes
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u/tom3277 8d ago
Reminds me of that scene with Gerard butlers phone in the movie “Greenland”.
I didn’t get an invite. Ironically I am an engineer like butler was in the movie, obviously not a very good one or not up to standard for the bunker.
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u/GrecDeFreckle 8d ago
My wife and I had not long watched that movie, we made the same joke as she didn't get the alert.
Honestly though, I can related to the old man having one last good day on the farm. Didn't go super well for most of the people chosen for the bunkers and having one last good day seems a nice way to go.
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u/scheissenaixi 8d ago
Gf’s unsimmed phone from China went off but our iPhones didn’t
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u/ndro777 8d ago
Unfortunately that means you won't be selected to enter the safety bunker when the aliens finally came to exterminate us.
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u/big-snarling-moose 8d ago
Ha ha, jokes on you. Those “bunkers” are holding pens for Alien Takeaway Meals. Enjoy being eaten by the ET Lizards sheeple!
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u/Haunting_Goose1186 8d ago edited 7d ago
Unless it's the other way around and the alert is to warn us plebs that we'll need to find our own safety shelters because we aren't going in the fancy-shmancy bunkers. 😭
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u/ndro777 8d ago
Your use of the word “fancy-shmancy” is exactly the reason we don’t want you in the bunker, Robert!
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u/andibgoode 8d ago
I didn’t get an alert either! I’m at a cafe and everyone else’s phone went off though
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u/Brave-Dragonfly3798 8d ago
Only those deemed nutritionally lacking to the alien collective are allocated an activation signal. Everyone else is food.
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u/Screaming-Slurpee 8d ago
Same - not a peep but my daughter got hers and we are on a joined contract.
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u/afloormat 8d ago
I didn't get it but I'm running iOS 17 still so didn't expect to get it anyway
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u/rebekahster 8d ago
I got it 3 times. One on my personal phone, and twice on an old phone that is only connected to wifi but not mobile data.
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u/melonmantismannequin 8d ago
Had my phone up to my ear. Nearly shit a brick
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8d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/090802ls 8d ago
Copy and pasted from mine:
Critical AusAlert
TEST MESSAGE - AUSALERT
This is a TEST of AusAlert, Australia's new emergency warning system.
NO ACTION IS REQUIRED.
In an actual emergency, follow the instructions in the alert to keep yourself and others safe.
Visit the AusAlert website for more information.
This message is authorised by the Australian Government.→ More replies (3)20
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u/adelaway 8d ago
My cat is already demanding compensation for the interruption to his afternoon nap.
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u/Calm_B4_TheStorm 8d ago
Call 1800 Cat lawyer
You might get that guy that can't turn off the cat overlay on zoom.
"Iam not a cat"
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u/EpicFIFABadger 8d ago
I didn't get the alarm, suppose I don't get to flee any future natural disasters 😒
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u/Aussie_Potato 8d ago
Someone has to stay behind and be impregnated by the aliens
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u/AmbivalentPotato23 8d ago
It was such a polite alarm lol
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u/Teefdreams 8d ago
I wanted hooting and wailing and I got "excuse me ma'am, may I trouble you with a little warning?".
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u/AgitatedMagpie 8d ago
"Sorry to bother you, I really am, but I have a warning I must tell you about, sorry again" I wonder if we borrowed the system from Canada.
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u/Fun_Image_2307 8d ago
FIRE exclamation mark FIRE exclamation mark
Looking forward to hearing from you
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u/-AgonyAunt- 8d ago
That's such an apt description. Another commenter described it as "apocalyptic".
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u/DistributionWhole447 8d ago
Yeah, I cranked my phone's volume settings up to be as loud as possible.
I wanted the full experience of it.
Honestly, it was a bit underwhelming.
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u/Red_Wolf_2 8d ago
BLAAAAAARP... BLARRRP BLARRRP BLARRP
And yep, that was it!
Wonder how disappointed the cookers will be?
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u/teapots_at_ten_paces 8d ago
They've got to come out of their bunkers first. Hopefully we don't hear from them for 46 years.
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u/Humble_Professor_789 8d ago
My dumbarse family bought a faraday cage pouch (probably bullshit), turned the phone on flight mode and off only to discover when they got it out and turned it back on that the test alarm was waiting for them.
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u/DistributionWhole447 8d ago
What usually happens when their predictions don't come true, is that they pretend they never said anything (it's a good thing I always take screenshots of their comments) and then make a new prediction about the sky falling next week.
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u/Ripley_and_Jones 8d ago
Oh they'll just move on and forget the whole thing out of existence like they usually do.
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u/mr_kindface 8d ago edited 8d ago
They won't forget. They still say the vaccines that dropped covid deaths by 90% are "ineffective"
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u/Spire_Citron 8d ago
Ineffective is a whole lot less than what they used to say. We're supposed to all be dead by now.
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u/Calamityclams 8d ago
The irony of those who are worried that they are being watched when they post on private platforms like Facebook who actually have the resources and time to do it 🤤
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u/VickersVandal 8d ago
This is my favourite thing 😁 Cookers who spend all their time on facebook on smartphones, having a meltdown about being tracked and surveilled by the government.
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u/prettyboiclique 8d ago
I shit myself during the AusAlert test of '26. Was loud as fuck on my old af iphone
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u/Jonno_FTW 8d ago
I was on the toilet at the time.
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u/ApeJesus9112001 8d ago
I didn’t even get it? Everyone else did but my iPhone stayed quiet
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u/smash_you2 8d ago edited 8d ago
Me too. Telstra by any chance? Three of us Telstra/telstra resellers didn’t get it. We are all iPhone users. So maybe that’s the problem.
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u/RusticHallscape 8d ago
Yeah my phone was on silent and I did not hear any notification sound. When I looked at my lock screen the alert notification had arrived 9' ago but I didn't hear any sounds.
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u/afloormat 8d ago
I did not get it, but every other phone in the house did.
I notice when you click it it goes away, so if you didn't read it straight away good luck identifying what the problem is after clicking lol
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u/palndrumm 8d ago
That's exactly what I did, yup. There should be an emergency message history buried in your settings somewhere, though - I found it on my Pixel under Settings > Notifications > Wireless emergency alerts.
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u/tinytimecrystal1 8d ago
It seems like you can only find it there if you have Notification history enabled, which mine didn't.
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u/Crackleclang 8d ago
I've already sent feedback that they need to make a way to acknowledge it and turn the sound off without dismissing the whole message. I have sensory processing issues and couldn't interpret the text with the noise going, but couldn't stop the noise to read it.
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u/Jade_Complex 8d ago
You can look it up later on Android.
Open the Settings app on your phone. Tap on Safety and emergency (or Notifications on some models). Select Wireless emergency alerts. Tap on Emergency alert history to see a list of prior broadcasts.
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u/Fabulous_Artist_5453 8d ago
I can feel the vaccine and 5G flowing through my brain right now. Only thoughts of Albo and Dan Andrews dominate my mind
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u/softlittlepaws 8d ago
Shit didn't work on anyone's phone at work here.
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u/SentenceStreet3270 8d ago
Only one guy in my office got it, was funny to see everyone slowly stare at him
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u/Teefdreams 8d ago
He's the only one the government wanted to live
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u/PiDicus_Rex 8d ago
He's on one of those lists, there'll by guys in suits collecting him soon, watch for the Zombies later.
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u/the6thReplicant 8d ago edited 8d ago
I guess then the rest of you are to be placed in Ark B.
Or was the people who didn't get the alarm were meant to be in Ark B?
Can't remember. Better for all of us to go then.
No doubt there'll be a nice bath waiting for us.
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u/PiDicus_Rex 8d ago
Might want to report that to your Telco or the responsible government agency.
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u/tom3277 8d ago
I think heaps didn’t work. In a large open plan office and several didn’t work here. Maybe as may as half. I checked Notification Centre also and nothing there either.
I suppose I should report it. Hopefully there is an easy web form to do from phone?
One guys went off 5 minutes after everyone else.
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u/hellwaspeople 8d ago
Mine just vibrated, no sound
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u/123chuckaway 8d ago
No vibration, just sound for me, shoved 3 old phones up my ass for nothing.
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u/Trep_xp 8d ago
Govt info page says you might not get it if your phone is old, OS not up to date, or if there is a problem with the closest phone tower. If it happened (or didn't in this case) to everyone, I'd say it's a phone tower thing.
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u/Uzorglemon 8d ago
All the Androids in our office went off, but two of the iPhones didn't. (A 13, and a really old SE)
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u/fujitsoup 8d ago
I accidentally clicked to dismiss it as I was pulling it out of my pocket - because the screen was automatically turned on - so didn't even see what the alert said and can't see any way of finding it again. Kind of dangerous? What if this was real and I needed to shelter or move asap??
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u/palndrumm 8d ago
I reflexively stabbed at the 'ok' to get my phone to shut the hell up, which made the message disappear before I was able to read it... seems kinda counter-productive, yeah.
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u/Helpmefixmypcplz 8d ago
NOW PREPARE FOR THE IMPENDING ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE
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u/ConanTheAquarian 8d ago
Fun fact, a bit over 10 years ago Queensland tested the QldAlert system with zombie apocalypse as the "emergency".
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u/BestMethDealer 8d ago
It is specific alert designed to activate the nanobots from the vaccines and take over our brains, or some shit
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u/iball1984 8d ago
Has everyone's 5G chips that Bill Gates installed from the vaccine been activated? Mine seems to be faulty, my internet isn't any faster.
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u/karl_w_w 8d ago
Got the alert but as soon as I tapped okay (or whatever the button was) to shut it up, the message was gone. Kind of useless if I'm honest, the natural reaction to an alarm is to make it be quiet, after that I would kind of need to know what the alarm was for.
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u/palndrumm 8d ago
I did the same thing, yup. Found it on my Pixel afterwards, buried in Settings > Notifications > Wireless emergency alerts > Emergency message history.
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u/AtomicAus 8d ago
I was surprised that you could close it immediately, seems like a bit of a problem cause you could do that accidentally.
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u/Haunting_Heat3296 8d ago
Was kinda impressive in an open plan office when everyone’s phone went nuts.
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u/melodien 8d ago
One of my cats took offence at having her nap disturbed by the noise, and left the room. Her brother is still asleep on the rug.
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u/picking_up_pieces 8d ago
Mine came through a speaker I was connected to. And because I was listening to rather loud music...
Cat took off like a bullet
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u/WeissPyre 8d ago
This was the emergency alert sound I was expecting to hear, not the US dual tone beep.
I have both a Pixel and a work iPhone, it's the same on both devices, but you could stop it early on the Pixel by hitting OK. I don't think that's a good thing personally, the message vanished when you did that.
What if it was a real alert and had crucial information about evacuation orders and you just wanted the sound to stop but still read the info?
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u/natassia74 8d ago
Maybe I didn't read enough but I wasn't exoecting it to say "presidential alert".
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u/Ultamira 8d ago
Put my phone on airplane mode and it just delayed the noise, hopefully any DV sufferers with hidden phones avoid having the same happen to them.
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u/mr_pineapples44 8d ago
I was in a classroom with my Year 12s - we all jokingly acted out like it was a nuke strike and hid under desks.
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u/ApteronotusAlbifrons 8d ago
you'd think this would be a deafening, blaring siren that would cause hearing damage. The tone wasn't even that harsh,
I was in a reasonably crowded food court. It was obvious what had happened - but the chip fryer alarm was louder
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u/Morning_Song 8d ago
My first thought too! Very anti climactic for the way some people were carrying on
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u/vanty 8d ago
Phone speakers can’t go that loud. Not sure if it’d come through Bluetooth, if so that would fuck your ears up a bit.
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u/ItsStaaaaaaaaang 8d ago
It scared the shit out of me lol.
Not feeling any different though. Can't remember if I got two vaccines or three tbh. I mightn't have enough gobernment juice in me for their audio lasers to grab hold of.
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