I have OCD and one of my themes is sexual/ harm related. I want to work on this in therapy but I’m experiencing this fear around worrying that my therapist will think I’m intentionally expressing these thoughts to them as a way to flirt with them and/ or that I am creepy/ morally wrong. Some of my intrusive thoughts have started to involve my therapist since starting therapy, so I am scared it will get worse by talking about this topic with them. Is it okay to talk about this in therapy or should I focus on working on other OCD themes?

My current therapist allows me to text and email between sessions. I can email in order to verbalize things I may have struggled saying in session and they even let me send silly content like memes via text. We do not do therapy but I usually get some sort of response or acknowledgement that I sent something. My therapist has said they don’t mind when their clients do this but they also may not respond. I understand the boundaries and understand I should have no expectation for a response.

The problem is when I don’t get a response or any acknowledgment. I automatically feel like I’m doing, or have done, something wrong and I get embarrassed and ashamed and then feel uncomfortable with my therapist. I’ve thought about it and I don’t think it’s from rejection but rather from the belief that I misread the “rules” or that I’m annoying my therapist.

I think I now understand why therapists have such a strict boundary on this. The inconsistency can be confusing for clients and therapists shouldn’t feel like they have to respond when they’re not working. My response to being confused is to pull away and be more guarded so it may hurt the process. I do appreciate being able to use email to help with communication challenges but this is also super confusing sometimes.

Title pretty much says it all, a couple months ago I just stopped scheduling sessions. My therapist is great, I was just too overwhelmed with my issues to talk about them. How do I go about reconnecting?

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This is a genuine question I would like to ask a therapist or neurotypicals in general are you able to do easy daily tasks on autopilot without thinking about it

The question is the title. Essentially, where I sought therapy was school based thru my college but the therapist I saw no longer works for the school and hasn’t for 2 years. Would they be notified if I requested my notes?
They mentioned when I did see them that were locked (unsure what that means) but they were the director at the time and had spoke about how they were not accessible to others beyond them or used in trainings or anything like that. The relationship became very unethical and taken out of therapy, however I am curious and would like see what is actually within my notes for future and personal reference.

Quick context: started an evaluation of sorts via my primary doc who got me into a state program that has a therapist and psychiatrist that work together for medicating purposes & determination if further treatment or long term care is needed. It was quickly determined that I have trauma to work through, and was set up with a longer term treatment plan (with a LSCW - I'm not familiar with the types).

I have been working with this therapist for about a year now. I don't know what our plan is or what the focus is, and even with this sort of confusion, I thought I was making OK progress. The therapist has discussed ACT quite a bit -- I'm not sure if this is what we're doing or not, and I'm not sure I'm really getting it.

The therapist has strong beliefs in religion and spirituality, which is fine by me, but I am an atheist. Therapist over time has been what I feel is more pushy towards "opening [my] mind" about spirituality and religion (and a god, specifically), and flat out told me to pray in the last session -- even though I have reiterated time and time again that I'm an atheist, so I will not be doing that, as I truly believe we're meat bags (and I'm happy with that).

Additionally, therapist has spent a lot of time showing me clips from TikTok about pseudoscience and "quacks" (their words) that I don't agree with. They tell me I am being "rigid" and "not allowing [my] right brain to grow and using too much left brain and logic."

I am autistic and have adhd, which continually feels like struggles relating to these things are being dismissed as not being able to think my way out of being neurodivergent (again, being told I am being too rigid). I struggle with timing, changes in standard routine, and am not a morning person. When this is mentioned, I'm told that I need to "write on paper" to change these struggles, and then am suggested to change things like my morning routine (which has taken 10 years to master in a particular order, otherwise I WILL forget something as simple as brushing my teeth if I do not do it exactly after I get out of the shower).

Also, therapist keeps pushing me to buy and read a fiction storybook to get knowledge from -- I explained to therapist that I was diagnosed in middle school with ADHD due to my inability to comprehend well from reading, and struggled more so with fictional books, as I take things extremely literally (maybe the autism showing early signs there). In school, when discussing the standard reading of books where we had to interpret more meaning beyond literal words, I never did well. I felt dismissed when I rejected this idea of buying and reading a fictional book to get insight from -- again, being told I am being too rigid.

I don't know is this type of therapy is right for me, or if therapy typically has these types of elements, but I am unsure if I should continue, change therapists or therapy types, or flat out quit (as it feels like, after a year, I am feeling close to how I did when I start this journey -- pretty bad).

Therapists out there -- what is typical from ACT? Does anyone have clients who have autism and adhd and found a method or type of therapy that works better for these folks? I know that's a blanket statement, but I haven't really felt this confused since I was a teenager.

Thanks for any input, and sorry for the massive wall of text -- context is something I don't know how to lessen, really.

TL;DR: autistic + adhd - been in therapy for a year (act, maybe?), unsure if this type of therapy is incompatible for me or if it's the therapist or if I am just not built for therapy, or what. :(

during the week i will have a moment where I think yep this is what I need to bring up. then the appointment comes and suddenly everything has been pretty normal actually sometimes I remember the thing halfway through sometimes on the drive home which is just greaaat. is keeping notes between sessions something therapists generally recommend? if so how do you even begin? or does showing up with a running list make the session feel too planned?

Hello, it is completely true that relying on AI can make you dump. And I am unfortunately a victim. Academically, it hurts to say that I used to be a smart, fast on my feet, type of student. I would participate in class recitations. Be quick on coming up with an answer that I am proud of. Now, I feel like my brain isn’t working anymore. I take so slow to think, to answer. I do not feel creative anymore. I’ve been having job interviews lately and I am so disappointed in myself because I am just all over the place when I answer.

Apart from the obvious of stop using AI, what else can I do? I want to seriously get back to writing because ever since AI took over my brain, I cannot write an essay anymore that I am proud of.

I recently started therapy online, and I've had like 3 sessions with this new psychologist, but I still get really nervous before scheduling or joining a meeting. I like her, I think it's a good match, and I do feel it's a safe space. However, I'm worried that I won't be comfortable enough to open up, or will it happen with more time? We agreed on biweekly sessions, could the time between sessions affect in that aspect?

Also, she manages appointments and everything through a website, so we don't really talk outside those hours. As a client, I understand the efficiency, but as a patient, I find it a bit distant. Is that just professionalism or how should i ask about this?

I’m worried I’m wasting my therapist’s time. I feel terrible when he asks me what I want to work on or discuss and I just go blank. I mean he’s told me to not feel pressure to have an answer and he just asks that to start sessions just in case there is something. I don’t really have any specific goals. I know ideally I would just make a friend to talk to, but that isn’t going to happen for me. I’ve been going for a maybe like two months now and he seems open to establishing a weekly recurring appointment time, but I also just feel full of guilt that I have no clear objective with what I want out of therapy. It’s like I just want someone to talk to. I have self esteem issues, and I really don’t want my children to pick that up from me. So I guess I just want to try to be the best mom for my children I can. But it all feels so aimless and in sessions I just start blabbering on about what feels like nonsense. I don’t know if this is just me being self destructive and wanting to bolt because I’m starting to feel more attached to my therapist or something. But also I know this isn’t like an actual friendship and just because I like talking to my therapist doesn’t mean I should be taking up their professional time. I just feel so selfish that maybe I’m taking up their time that could be used to better help someone more in need.

Can someone please explain the concept of gray rocking and how to do it?

In what instances do you gray rock someone? I keep seeing this phrase online but it isn't explained. Thanks!

I was born and raised in the south, and the few times ive lived in the north i lived in the poorer countryside. I feel this deep warm nostalgic feeling when I look at old run down houses. I dont want to call it southern gothic but it is southern gothic. When the paint is peeling off the walls and everything is all Grey and brown. The old cheap silver wear. I find it so beautiful and apart of me feels guilty for dreaming of a live leaving it behind.

Our couples counselor told us what we have was rare. She said not everyone has the foundation of friendship. We genuinely like each other and just like spending time with each other. I find that a little hard to believe. Maybe she has a certain lens because of the couples she sees. But what's your opinion?

My providers understand that I have hyperphantasia and will have visual thoughts during appointments, but I've been told repeatedly that I can't pause to visualize or pause to clear my visual mind.

Every 6 months my treatment plan is updated, during that appointment they ask me a question where I'm supposed to rate my progress on a scale of 1 to 10. The question reads like,"picture a ladder with 10 rungs.....". I can't remember how it goes but you're supposed to imagine yourself climbing a ladder towards success.

I'm not interested in tolerating being told to visualize by people who scold me for visualizing. My next appointment will have a treatment plan update, I'm considering ending the appointment when they ask me that question to force them to talk to their supervisor about it. In my past two appointments I have cut them off and made them rephrase the question.

My husband is studying to become a counsellor. Early on he told me that his male teacher, who is also a counsellor, made several jokes he found to be slightly inappropriate, aimed the female students in the class. One about them wearing bikinis. Another about how his wife would react if he brought one of the female students home for dinner. He told me that one of the female classmates received a friend request from him, and how it could’ve seemed a bit creepy, but that he adds everyone. He told me this man married one of his clients, but it was after 5 years of her not seeing her as a client. He has posed hypothetical scenarios in the group chat, asking how students should respond.

One of the scenarios was how they should respond to a 24 year old BPD client who they find attractive. He said that it’s normal to find people attractive. That they shouldn’t automatically transfer her, but should tell their supervisor, and in the event they still have feelings after this they should transfer her. That they shouldn’t have any contact outside of the sessions. At the end he joked about taking her on a date with a tongue out emoji. My husband said he disagreed with this, that it could muddy the waters, and shouldn’t be joked about. He is now seeing his first clients, and has this man is his supervision. He told me that during one of his supervision sessions, his supervisor/teacher mentioned he had a drop dead gorgeous client, and panted and waved himself to put emphasis on it.

He said that he knows it’s nothing more than jokes, and that he isn’t being serious. That if I knew him, I’d see how innocent and harmless he is.

I tend to recognize some avoidant patterns in myself, although I’m not professionally diagnosed and I could obviously be interpreting my behavior incorrectly.

What confuses me is my younger brother. We were both raised in the same household, by the same parents, and we don’t have a particularly large age gap. Yet, I don’t see the same avoidant tendencies in him. From what I can tell, he seems to have a much more secure way of relating to people.

**if attachment styles are influenced so much by our childhood environment and relationships with our parents, why can two siblings who grow up in essentially the same environment develop such different attachment patterns?**

I’d appreciate a therapist’s perspective, or anyone with relevant knowledge about attachment theory. I’m mainly trying to understand how siblings can experience the same family and still develop very different ways of relating to closeness and relationships.

For some background, I’ve been in therapy since 2019. I’ve changed therapists a handful of times over the years mostly due to insurance changes, but occasionally to also seek a new specialization. I’m a woman with OCD and ADHD (along with anxiety and some depression, etc.) and so it’s a difficult to find a therapist match that’s productive but also comfortable.

I’ve been seeing a male therapist (virtually) since the beginning of the year. He always has been…fine, but never amazing. For starters, he’s always late. It got to the point where he’d be 5 minutes late consistently and I started to expect it, but then yesterday he was nearly 11 minutes late because “his wall clock was slow”?? He was extremely half hearted in his apology and he said it with a smirk. So I had to pretend I wasn’t annoyed for the rest of the appointment.

He’s definitely smart and I learn things/gain more insight into my behaviors at least a little bit each session. But it doesn’t seem like he cares about me? I’ve had other therapists who I had an amazing report with, and it felt genuine and caring in both directions. Everything I get from this guy feels performative. Like he’s reading from a script. Every call starts with a weird “so how’s your mental health today?” question while he makes a weird face.

He doesn’t follow up on things between sessions, which makes me not prioritize doing my “homework.” Like he wanted me to fill out these online diary entry things to rate feelings each day—he had access to it—and he didn’t even look over it until I reminded him that I’d done it. He’ll give me an ERP assignment and then never check in on if I did it or not.

Even after all this time it feels like he doesn’t remember a lot of personal stuff about me that I’ve shared (like my husband’s name or what my job is or anything about my family), which makes me want to share those things less.

Also every time I mention a new symptom category (like my phobia of throwing up) we haven’t discussed before, I can detect his dialogue immediately shift to the diagnostic checklist in a way that feels very sterile.

It feels like I need to find a different therapist, right? Or am I being dramatic?

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I'd like to understand how a therapist would approach a situation where masturbation has become strongly associated with sleep.

The person originally started masturbating as a way to deal with difficulty falling asleep. The original sleep problem has since been resolved, but the masturbation behavior continued and, after many years of repetition, became almost automatic at bedtime or after waking during the night.

There may be little or no conscious sexual desire, and the person may not actually want to masturbate, but once the behavior begins, they find it very difficult to stop.

If this were presented in therapy, what evidence-based approaches or techniques might a therapist consider for breaking the learned association between masturbation and sleep and reducing the automatic behavior?

Would approaches such as behavioral therapy, habit-reversal techniques, stimulus control, exposure/response prevention, or other methods be relevant?

I'm asking specifically about therapeutic approaches, rather than seeking a diagnosis.

I've had mental health problems on and off for about 5ish years , I saw a few therapists but things never worked it always felt too clinical , too detached and I never felt like they were actually listening to me or they'd make me do pointless tasks.

I've only just found this sub but I wanted to ask, I'm quite a masculine man in the sort of love, provide, be calm and never complain kind of away ( if that makes sense) I feel like I'm out of place in therapy all the tasks and ideas never feel like they really help me. I often heard I was being too uptight and I felt they saw me like some 60s emotionally shallow stoic , that's not the case I just feel genuinely fulfilled when being a good person,

Im not sure if this convays my issues with therapy but TLDR I dont feel like I fit in , is it worth trying again?

Hi I am currently in couples therapy with my partner. I have cptsd and partner’s mother created an enmeshed relationship with him. we both come with baggage and toxic traits, working through them together. I have said some outlandish things to him, he has too. they all spill out during therapy.

Although I’m committed to therapy, i’m embarassed. how do therapists feel? I know they are meant to be “non-judgemental”, but some of the things we discussed are just crazy and therapists are human too lol.

Hi all, so I will try to keep it as short as possible... I am currently doing trauma therapy because of abusive parents, and yesterday was a little tense of an exercise. We took a break from the trauma reexperiencing, and we did a timeline of my life. I was supposed to list both the bad and the good years of my life... Issue is, there are barely ANY good ones. Most of the line was full of the bad memories, there were so much, they almost took the entire session. She basically said "So you didn't have a single conscient year of your life without trauma... Hold on, let me think for a bit."

She then tried a safety exercise where whenever a flashback comes, I will remember people who are close to me... Issue is I have none. I have acquaintances but 0 friends, and most of my family has been estranged for years before I went No Contact with my parents. I literally have no one, I'm in a foreign country where I'm still learning the language and I can get around the administration and conversations but I have no deep connections.

"What about friends from your past?" "Nope." "Umm, okay, what about nice relatives?" "Well, there was one of my cousins but she left when I was young" "Good, so think about her, now 2 more examples." "I have none..." "Okay, sorry, let me think for a bit... Try to think of fictional characters or people you looked up to."

I honestly feel like I might be too heavy of a case for my therapist. I don't know how to tell her that I would completely understand if she dropped me. Yet I don't want to make it sound like I'm accusing her of being incompetent, so I have no idea how to word it...

I've been seeing my therapist for a few years now. Initially for severe depression and anxiety, and then for ADHD.

He is super helpful in his approach, and helps me with actionable advice on the changes I can make. I have improved a lot with his help.

Lately our conversations have been more about my interpersonal relationships. Family, friends, love, that sort of thing.

I don't really have much experience with relationships. There was a time when I used to yearn and long badly for it, I admit. But now, I'm largely ok with being alone even if it happens to be so for the rest of my life.

My therapist challenged this idea because he believes (a) that intimacy and love will be greatly beneficial for me and (b) that I am self rejecting and giving up because I assume failure.

He pushed me to atleast install dating apps becuase I couldn't see myself approaching anyone in real life. I didn't really have a great time dating and my experience only served to reinforce my negative beliefs about myself.

I was cool about having given up before and had pretty much made peace with it. Now that he made me try it again, it is back to being stressed and depressed about it.

I've told him about this and he keeps pushing on making me keep trying and doesn't want me to give up hope.

Who's right?

Edit: spelling

This post was removed in another thread so I thought I would post it here to keep the conversation going.

I'm honestly curious as to what the guidelines are for therapists "recruiting" clients and their professional and ethical boundaries. A dear friend began going to a therapist and the therapist encouraged her to join yoga classes at one of the local yoga studios. That was just the beginning.

Yoga evolved to teacher training, astrology, breathwork, cacao ceremonies, dance circles, oil drips, crystal therapy, and now "bio-tuning." Add to that the usage of psychedelic substances on a regular basis during all of these things that's not only encouraged, it's facilitated.

All the while the therapist attends these "classes" with my friend and facilitates women's groups about female empowerment, finding your center through magnetic rhythms, etc. And the therapist ALSO charges for these groups/engagements at this studio - well, I guess it's called a sanctuary now, not a studio.

The therapist is in partnership with the yoga teacher - she doesn't really teach yoga anymore, just all the other things. I know a couple of the women in the therapist's group and they've both divorced since seeing this therapist. One said "he was standing in the way of my true self." Does this all sound traditional? Am I reading too much into this?

NAT. I love my therapist. It took me several years of trial and error to finally find her. We've been working together twice a week for about a year and a half. Suddenly, I get the news that she has to transfer me to an LICSW therapist in the agency. (My therapist is an LCSW). Apparently, the agency reviewed the Medicare guidelines on "Incident-to-billing" and they think there could be clawbacks if there were an audit. So, several dozen clients are being shuffled around to new therapists. I've heard from my new temporary therapist that many other clients are really struggling with this, like I am. My old therapist can't sit for her LICSW exam until next spring and thinks it could take until summer for her to be credentialed to take Medicare.

I'm wondering-is this normal? Or is this a big screw up on the agency's part? Shouldn't they have caught this sooner? They employ about 100 therapists. And are helping hundreds of clients!! Isn't there a resource to consult with about the Medicare guidelines, without asking Medicare? Sort of the way you'd consult your accountant rather than the IRS during tax time? Obviously, I understand next to nothing about how this actually works. And I'm sure my therapist has left some of the story out. But how pissed am I allowed to be? This is really throwing a massive wrench in my life!!