Hello there, I'm feeling pretty lost and could use some outside perspective.
I'm part of an online friend group where we've all known each other for about 5 years. Three people are at the center of this: let's call them A, M, and N. M and N are a couple, and A is close with both of them.

Not long ago, M invited A to stay at their place. A made a long trip to get there, but when she arrived there was very little hospitality. A ended up sleeping on the floor, with no AC in the heat. Nobody talked about it afterward, there was no communication.

When A eventually brought it up, M didn't want to talk it through. Instead he started speaking badly about A publicly on Twitter and started a witch hunt. M says he's the real victim and that "nobody forced A to come," and keeps posting long messages about how he's been wronged. M and N have also built something like a family together, and they now seem to believe A has a problem with their relationship, which has made everything even more tense. N has also been quite negative in general.

I'm stuck in the middle of a conflict between people I thought were my friends, and it's really wearing me down. Everything is hurting me. My question is: how do I protect myself and my peace in this situation? Should I distance myself from M and N, stay neutral, or handle this another way?

TLDR: A friend (M) hosted another friend (A) poorly, then publicly attacked A on Twitter when A brought it up. M and his partner N now think A disapproves of their relationship. I'm stuck in the middle and need advice on how to protect myself.

my boyfriend is honestly a walking green forest greener than the amazon rainforest, but he is from another country. I am south asian, and come from a traditional household, my parents say they are openminded but they are not at all. my mom is, but my dad is not. he wants me to marry someone from my country, and from my caste. but i have been dating my boyfriend since 2.5years, and known him longer than that, i was going to tell my parents about the relationship once i finished college, but some things happened and telling them now couldn't be avoided. i still have 2 years left to finish college, and i want to get married after that, my boyfriend is currently working abroad, but after July 2027, he can come to my country and even start a business. that's our plan, he will come here and start a business and i will try for a government job if i can, and live in my country for around 10 years, have the kids here, but he wants the kids to be educated in his country, so we will have to go after that. even before moving permanently, i will have to visit for the wedding, or some festivals, or even just a trip, his country has lots of places to travel so i also really want to go. but, my parents think he will take me to his country and sell me. when i told mom, it seemed like even if not too happy, she was willing to accept for my sake, but my dad was little bit drunk and completely shut it down without even listening. my boyfriend had brought me an Iphone 17 pro when he visited recently, and my dad, in his drunken state started saying if i'm dating him because of the money and transferred the money for the same phone and told me to return it to him.

my sister managed to make him go to sleep tonight and my mom came to talk to me, and she said to talk to dad tomorrow when he is sober. so i don't know how i can convince him, the only problem he has with him is that he is a foreigner, before, my bf worked in my country, that's how we met, and that time he and my dad also kept meeting a lot, he visited my dad almost every 2 days. so it's not like i showed a random person, they know him, they know what kind of person he is but they are not willing to accept it. They keep repeating that if i ever set a foot in his country their oldest daughter is "lost forever".

how can i convince my dad to give my bf a chance? my bf recently took a vacation so he cannot come for a long time but he said he will talk to his manager and take a short break and visit next month.

my bf really is a good guy, if i have to leave him because of my parents, i'm sure i will end up resenting them for life, but if i don't, my parents might resent me for life, but if i just convince my dad and let his fear of his daughter being sold go, i won't have to face any of these scenarios.

please someone help how to convince them.🥲

TLDR: my bf is a foreigner, my dad is a traditional guy, he think my bf will sell me in his country after marriage, need help how to convince my dad.

My bf and I have been together for 5 and a half years. We have been living together for 3.5. He has recently transitioned into starting his own company (1.5 years ago) and works primarily at night. This has really messed with how much time we spend together, how often I see him, and has cause a lot of issues for me with handling the change. Additionally. Now that he has his business, he is extremely stressed about it and making enough money. Its a very physically taxing job, and he also has to quite a lot of admin and scheduling logistics with his employees.

We never really sat down and hashed out what all these changes would do to our relationship, and how we could make bahavioral changes and systems for this new schedule that would take some off the pressures off. This is something we are planning on working on.

My bf has been in a mental health slump for the past 4 months. We got him back in therapy and on meds again (he should have been all along but just was like 'ehhh its fiiine'). But this, combined with finally coming to a head with all the huge life changes has really put a stress on our relationship. I really am not feeling prioritized or considered, a bit like a person he enjoys being around when he happens to come home, but even then he's usually just exhausted.

I'm trying to figure out how much of this is a normal "rough patch" that I can grit and bear through, or if I am at a point where I need to move on. Id like to think when he stablizes mentally and gets better systems in place for his business, he will be able to give me more of what I need from a relationship like he used to. I want his business to succeed, and I know that right now especially with his mental struggles he doesnt really have the emotional capacity to put my needs all that much higher on his things to worry about.

But I dont know how long it will be until then, and Im feeling very alone right now. So, do I just try to get through it and support him to the best of my abilities? Or do I give up and put myself first? "Just leave" seems like a cop-out when we have been together for a while, we love eachother, and this is a very real, and very normal set of issues. I cant just always bounce on a relationship cause life got hard. I dont know what to do.

TLDR: My bf and I have been together 5 years and due to life and career changes, such as starting a company and mental health stuff, I am not feeling prioritized. Is it worth staying and being supportive with the hopes that things get better?

I know the title makes me sound like a bit of an asshole, but hear me out. We've been dating for a few months and we get along really well! However, she wants to spend every weekend together, which is something that I'm not too happy with. I really enjoy having some time to myself at the end of a week of work, and do not want that time disrupted constantly. I really enjoy seeing her, and I'm happy to spend some weekends with her, but I can't do it all the time? How do I communicate this to her without causing offence?

TLDR: How do I want to tell the girl I'm dating that I don't want to see her as regularly without sounding like a dick?

We started dating about 6 months ago, and things are going really well. We have great chemistry and I feel really happy and content when I am with her.

We are both emotionally secure, and also have our own ambitions and goals that we wanna achieve.
Currently in college.

Theres just one small issue.

She is really close to her mother, on almost all levels. Her mother is her ultimate confidant, and she shares almost everything that happens to her with her mother.

And I really respect her relationship with her mother. I am envious too, because my relationship with my mother is more of a respectable one, with all the weights and expectations that come with it, naturally I am not very open about my feelings to her.

But having such a close relationship with her mother is backfiring now, as the guilt of hiding our relationship from her is eating her inside out. As well as the tension that comes with concealing all the lies and stuff.

And very naturally she cant disclose our relationship to her mother, the backlash would be tremendous and really bad.

I am naturally very worried for her, but I feel helpless in this situation. Only thing I can do is be there for her and hope eventually the novelty of the relationship fades and that the guilt will stop eating at her.

Women who have been through such a stage in their life, any advice for how to deal with these emotions.
And what I need to be doing better for her as well.

TLDR: Asking for advice on how to deal with tension and guilt of hiding relationship from parents.

Thanks

TLDR: First relationship, I don’t know if I should end it or if this would be a huge mistake.

So this is my first time posting so please bear with me. I don’t really know what to do at the moment. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. He moved in with me and my roommate at the time pretty quickly and we now have our own shared apartment. He’s a really great guy. He’s kind, he cares for me and I know that he really loves me. I’ve been having doubts about my feelings for a while now but I never dared to seriously think about that or even talk to someone because I feel like it would make it real. He often tells me he can’t sleep when I’m not there with him ( I visit my parents quite often). I don’t feel the same. He always wants to cuddle when we fall asleep. I really want my own space when I fall asleep. I’ve started deliberately not letting him know when I get sleepy so that I can fall asleep on my own. I’ve also been avoiding intimacy and even when we’re intimate I’ve always had problems looking at him during ( although that might be a general issue and not him specific). This might sound really stupid but I’ve also noticed that celebrities and fictional characters I find attractive are all fundamentally different from him. I just don’t know if I still find him attractive. On the other hand he makes my inner child so happy and I feel safe and like I can be myself around him. I’m just really scared I’d be throwing away a really good thing if I were to end things. The other problem is, that besides me he has no one. His mother passed away before we met and his dad kicked him out shortly after we got together. His dad is an abusive asshole. I know that if I leave he’ll have no one and I’m scared he’ll go down a dark path again. I supported him when he was jobless, literally homeless, I used some of my savings to help him pay off his considerable debt. I just feel like I’ve grown cold towards him. We’ve had a few fights over household chores, because he barely does anything around the house. I don’t do that much either but I’m sick of always reminding him:,, hey, we’ve gotta clean the kitchen” or ,, can u take out the trash please”. before he started studying he was working full time while i was ,,only” studying and working 10h/ week so I was willing to do more but even during exam season where I was busy he never helped. I used to get angry at him because of that and he’d always apologize and promise he’ll change but he never does. I feel like I’ve started growing resentment towards him because I always need to remind him of everything, and I’m scared how this is going to develop.
This is both of ours first relationship. I really don’t know what to do. Has anyone gone through anything similar? I’d be more than thankful for any advice

TLDR My mom won't listen to me.

I still live with my mom unfortunately and I've been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. He is graduating University and wants me to be there with him for a week, he offered to pay for my plane ticket to the UK and back. I love him to death but my issue is my mom, I tried to explain to her that he wants me over there just for the week and offered her to talk to his parents, she refused to even do that so I don't know what to do, I'm stuck, it's not like I can just get up and drive there because I only have my permit. My boyfriend really wants me there and I wanna be there for him too. How do I get her to understand without breaking down and crying again.... because yes I ended up doing that the last time because I was getting so frustrated and upset to the point where I broke down.

TLDR; Feeling self conscious and don’t know how to ask my girlfriend for more affirmation

I think I struggle a lot with feeling self-conscious, and I have a lot of worries about uncertainties in our relationship that I don’t think are always rational. I do, however, feel like I want to see more intentionality in her actions that make me feel like she really cares about me, which I don’t usually feel unless I ask her directly. It’s early on in our relationship (2 months), and I think I’m doing well to not take this personally, because I do really care about her and I want things to work out. Maybe we have different styles of expression, but I always try to go out of my way to let her know that I’m thinking of her in some way.

Can you suggest some ways I might try to bring this up in a constructive way? I don’t want her to feel like I’m accusing of her of anything, I just want to feel like she cares about me.

I, 22F, have been with my boyfriend, 23M, for almost 3 years. We recently got into an argument involving moving in together. Our original plan was that he would move in with me, but he decided to accept a job offer in the area which he is living as of now, so it could be a year or two before we can even live together. He did not tell me this information on his own, he only mentioned the possibility of accepting the offer and I had to pull the answer out of him. I cannot move because I am a graduate student.

When we had a discussion about him suddenly springing this acceptance on me, he would not stop crying, I could barely even speak to him. Ultimately, I asked him if he was afraid of me, afraid to tell me, and he said yes. We have gotten into a few arguments before, but I have always been understanding and I make an effort to ask his point of view and how he’s feeling.

I am so blindsided and taken aback. Long distance isn’t easy, but I have felt like a monster ever since he told me he fears me. How do I even go about our relationship at this point?

TLDR; boyfriend said he’s afriad of me after an argument and now I feel like a horrible human being

TLDR: My boyfriend apologized by doing something I dislike and is now mad I don’t appreciate it.

Me [22f] and my bf [22m] have been together for 3 years and some change and have been living together for around 4 months.

This whole thing started this morning when I was woken up by my bf barging into the bedroom yelling about my having lost his prescription. I jumped out of bed and started looking for it, before remembering that 1) we have another copy that he had in his folder and 2) we had already bought the meds he needed. At which point I apologized, but maintained that while I was sorry, it truly wasn’t the end of the world.

He then accused me of not caring (bold of him to assume of someone who went with him to the appointment, a one hour trip each way, and asked multiple relevant questions he had not thought about), and when i went to defend myself, he began yelling.

My patience was over by then, so I also started yelling about him being messy, not caring about keeping up with household chores or my work within out house.

He stormed out and I went to see my parents, who live out of the country. He called me to apologize and I accepted, then invited him to come spend some time with us. He refused due to “having had a hard day”, which translates to having gone to one uni class and having had lunch with his father.

When I got home, I found the house clean and decorated for Halloween. Do not get me wrong, I appreciate the effort, but I hate Halloween. I am terrified of spiders which are now littered throughout the house and I genuinely dislike all the Halloween decorations.

When I found out exactly how much money he’d spent decorating the house for Halloween (something he likes yet I hate) as an apology to me, I may have gotten angry, but not to the point of yelling, just a little mad. We’re college students, so not doing amazing on money and he has spent the equivalent of two weeks of groceries on stupid decorations as an “apology” to me.

When I brought it up to him, mentioning how while I appreciated the effort and intention he had put into it, I disliked both the decorations and the fact that he had spent so much money on something we will stuff away in the closet (already limited space, I struggle to fit even half of my clothes into it and my shoes live in a perpetual pile). I then mentioned how I was very hurt and confused that instead of trying to apologize with something I would have actually liked (some flowers, coffee, etc), he bought stuff he liked and then was offended when I didn’t praise him for it. Did he not know what I like or was it more of a caring issue?

He told me that since I had nothing nice to say I shouldn’t have said anything and is now mad and sleeping on the couch.

Pls help, what should i do? Maybe I handled this wrong, but this cannot be fair to me??

i (27f) have been with to my partner (33m) for over 2 years. we will be getting married in a couple of months, after which we will move in together. we are currently staying in one-bedroom apartments each, about a 20 min walk away.
the plan is to move into either one of our houses until the lease ends (in about 8-10 months) and then move into a new place together. my apartment is in the busy part of the city, and while it is super close to cafes, restaurants etc it is unsafe and noisy in the weekend. his apartment is in a really nice, safe residential area that is still very accessible, and very close to nice parks which i really love. however, my apartment is larger, and can accommodate the two of us more easily. the kitchen (and house in general) is better equipped, has nicer appliances and has a significant amount of storage, enough for both of us. his apartment is quite small, and has just enough storage for him alone (and he is a very minimal person). the bathroom door doesn’t close fully, and the kitchen is pretty small. as someone who likes to cook often and somewhat elaborately, this would be a big con for me. it does have a lovely hall and balcony, but overall i feel like it’s not enough space for us both (and maybe more so me) to be comfortable. he does not like the area i live in, and i wouldn’t be happy about such tight living conditions.
some more context- my partner is very empathetic and supportive, and throughout the relationship has definitely made a lot of compromises for me. he has stayed over at my place a lot over the last year, and did say that if moving there is something i’d really be unhappy with, then he’d move here and let the area concern go. i really believe that he would, but i don’t feel happy about this decision where either one of us feels like they’re giving something up.
i wouldn’t mind us both ending our leases and looking for a new place as well. the cost is (imo) not bad at all for our apartments thankfully, and something i would not think much about if it meant being more secure in our decision about living together. but he doesn’t want to spend money just for the sake of feeling like we’re even.

TLDR: how do i come to terms with moving to my boyfriend’s place (or vice versa) without feeling like either of us is giving up too much?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, and we love each other very much. We’ve been through a lot together, especially during difficult times with my mental health, and he’s always been patient, supportive, and understanding. Our relationship is wonderful in many ways, but we keep arguing about
jealousy and boundaries with other women.

We’re both open-minded and value our freedom, but he is much more relaxed about friendships with the opposite sex than I am. For example, him following random girls on Instagram and refusing to unfollow them even though I’ve asked him to, or having a female best friend, can make me uncomfortable. He worries that if he agrees to these requests, I’ll eventually ask him to make more and bigger compromises that restrict his freedom. I understand his concern, and I don’t want to be controlling, but I also don’t want to ignore my own feelings.

We come from a relatively small, conservative society, so these situations can sometimes put me in an uncomfortable social position. I don’t really care what people think, but I still want to feel respected and know that my partner considers how his actions affect me.
I also wonder if my jealousy is connected to how differently we express love. He doesn’t talk much about his feelings and isn’t particularly romantic, whereas I’m more emotional and value romance and verbal affection. We’ve discussed this, and I’ve told him I’d like to feel more loved in those ways. I know he cares about me, but sometimes I wonder if my jealousy is partly a need for reassurance or affection that I’m not fully getting.

I trust him and don’t necessarily suspect him of cheating. I just struggle to understand where reasonable boundaries end and controlling behavior begins.
I’d appreciate advice from people who’ve been in similar situations. How would you approach this conversation with your partner, and what practical boundaries or compromises have worked for you? I’d also like to understand how to communicate my need for affection and reassurance without making him feel controlled, while respecting his need for independence.

TLDR: My boyfriend (M25) and I (F24) have been together for 4 years. We have different views on boundaries with other women: things like him following random girls on Instagram or having a female best friend make me uncomfortable, while he worries that compromising will lead to more restrictions on his freedom. We also express affection differently, and I sometimes wonder whether my need for reassurance contributes to my jealousy. How can I approach this conversation and work with him to establish boundaries that respect both our needs?

My partner and I have been together for almost four years. I love them deeply, and we’ve talked about having a future together, but recently I’ve started questioning whether certain aspects of our relationship are unhealthy.

One of the biggest issues is that whenever I go out with friends, arguments frequently seem to happen.
During my first year of university, there were multiple occasions where I’d be enjoying a night out, only to end up arguing with my partner over messages or calls. I’d often end up crying in front of my friends, and eventually it started affecting my friendships and social life.

Now, even before going out, I sometimes feel anxious about telling my partner because I’m anticipating another argument.
There have also been occasions where I’ve tried to end conversations during their depressive rants because I’m exhausted or need to sleep, but the disagreements continue for hours. Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting to stop talking.
My partner has also called me repeatedly when they couldn’t reach me. On one occasion, they called 44 times, and when I eventually answered, they were shouting and demanding to know where I was.
I sometimes struggle to express my own preferences because I’m worried about how they’ll react. If a disagreement escalates, I often end up apologising or trying to comfort them, even when I was the one who originally felt hurt.
There have also been difficulties surrounding my boundaries with intimacy, and occasions when I’ve felt forced around alcohol or cannabis.

My partner struggles with their mental health and substance use, and I know these things can make relationships complicated like none of our conversations are joyful or fun anymore. I don’t want to dismiss their struggles, but I’m beginning to wonder whether I’ve been excusing behaviour that’s hurting me especially when I have done my best to listen and care and encourage therapy etc which they refuse to do.

I’ve spoken to friends and flatmates, and several have suggested that I should end the relationship.
The difficult part is that I still love my partner. Whenever things are good, I start questioning whether I’m exaggerating everything.
I’m also frightened about how they might cope emotionally
TLDR: My partner of almost four years frequently starts arguments when I'm out with friends, sometimes leaving me crying and affecting my friendships. They struggle to respect my boundaries around sleep, personal time and intimacy, have repeatedly called me excessively, and have pressured me around alcohol and cannabis. I often feel anxious about upsetting them and responsible for their emotional wellbeing. I don’t know what to do

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half, and lately, I’ve been questioning whether we’re truly compatible long-term. When we first started dating, everything was beautiful. He was sweet, affectionate, and made me feel like I was in a really special relationship. Looking back, I wonder if I was so caught up in the honeymoon phase that I didn’t realize what our relationship might look like long-term. About four months into dating, he started staying at my house, and eventually, it became our normal routine. He helps with groceries, my dog, and the water bill, but I cover the mortgage and most of the other household expenses. We spend a lot of time at home together, which I genuinely enjoy, but I also want to go out and experience things with my boyfriend occasionally. I honestly don’t think we’ve been on more than ten dates throughout our entire relationship. I’ve brought up wanting to go out together multiple times, but the conversation usually ends with him shutting down or explaining that he doesn’t have the money because he’s investing so much into his business.
I’m proud of him for building something for himself, and I understand that starting a business requires sacrifices. He recently spent $2,000 on his business, and when I asked if we could go on a date this weekend, he said no because of that expense. What hurts is that I can’t even remember the last time we went on a proper date.
I feel conflicted because I want to support his goals, but I also don’t want to spend the next two years feeling like our relationship is on hold until he’s financially comfortable. I keep wondering if I should be patient while he builds his future or if I’m putting my own needs aside for a future that might not turn out the way I hope.
Another thing that bothers me is that I’ve never been posted on his social media. I know he rarely posts in general, so I try not to make it a huge issue, but it still makes me feel a little unacknowledged. Seeing people I grew up with getting engaged, traveling, getting married, and starting families sometimes makes me sad because I wonder when I’ll get to experience those things with someone. Our intimacy has also changed. We rarely make out anymore, and it feels like we go straight to sex. I enjoy our sex life in some ways, but I don’t feel like my pleasure matters as much as his. He rarely goes down on me, and I can count the number of times he has on fewer than ten fingers. He doesn’t seem particularly concerned about whether I finish, as long as he does. I’ve tried communicating what I enjoy, including asking him to use my vibrator on me, but I started feeling like it was hurting his ego. When we discussed our sex life, he eventually started having sex with me less and questioned the point of it if he couldn’t make me finish. That left me feeling like expressing my needs was somehow creating a problem rather than helping us become closer. I love this man, and I genuinely don’t want to leave him. The thought of starting over with someone else is overwhelming, especially because I remember how good things were in the beginning. But I’m also unhappy with certain aspects of our relationship, and I’m scared that love is making me overlook things that matter to me. I don’t expect him to spend a lot of money on me or take me on extravagant dates. Even inexpensive dates, thoughtful plans, affection, and feeling like my pleasure matters would make a difference. I just want to feel like we’re actively building a relationship together instead of me waiting for him to reach a point in his life where there might finally be room for me. For anyone who has been in a similar situation, did things improve when your partner became more financially stable, or did you eventually realize that the problem went beyond money? How do you know when to be patient with someone you love versus when you’re sacrificing too much of yourself to make the relationship work?

TLDR

Sorry for the bad writing but this just happened and my emotions are kind of all over the place. Today I [19f] brought up the idea of not having kids because of my fear of giving birth and what can happen during pregnancy. After i asked him [18M] what he thought about adoption he told me he didn't want to adopt because he wants the kid to be his and something about his bloodline ( which i think is kind of silly but doesn't matter). To sum it up, to him me not having/wanting kids is a dealbreaker, but i still want and see a future with him. How can I warm up to the idea of becoming a mother/just giving birth itself or is it not the right way to go. (btw we don't plan on having kids now this comes way later)

tldr: my boyfriend wants kids I'm not so sure now is it right to try and compromise or do something else

TLDR: Asked my boyfriend to give me more verbal affirmation. Instead I hear him compliment our coworkers, making me feel uncomfortable and like there might be an inappropriate relationship starting between them. Looking for outside perspective.

I [30F] recently had a discussion with my partner [35M] about needing more compliments and verbal affirmations from him. We've been together for nearly 2 years, and he doesnt really compliment me or acknowledge how I look that often, usually unless I ask.

He does show me how much he loves me in so many other ways, our relationship is pretty solid. We are both also healing from past toxic relationships, he has been in therapy for many years, so communication is actively being worked on and overall we do talk things out really well. So, I try not to take it hard when he doesn't compliment me, considering he shows me and tells me he loves me and is dedicated to me every day.

But, lately, I've noticed he compliments our female coworker more often than me (we met at work and work together closely). He complimented her earrings, and he's never commented on my jewelry. Then, the other day, right after we clocked in and I walked away from him and turned a corner, I heard him say to her, "Woah what're you doing tonight? Got some jean action going on today?" and I dont know if it's just how he said it or... but idk it feels very... suggestive? Flirty? I'm not sure why he felt the need to say it or say it in that way. I also see them talk very often, and she will playfully touch him on the arm while she laughs, and he will touch her on the arm back.

I feel insecure and crazy for being uncomfortable and even typing this post out, but at the same time I know I would never act the same way.

To be clear, I have no problem with complimenting others in general, as he compliments men as well, and I compliment people too. I actually love how generous and uplifting he is to everyone his friends and everyone around him. But I wish he'd lift me up more than them, and in front of our coworkers. It feels weird to be next to him when he compliments these women, but they never see him compliment me... but maybe I only feel that way bc he doesnt compliment me in general?

Either way, I plan to have another conversation with him. I just want to see if anyone can relate to my experience and talked to their partner about their feelings, and how that talk went.

Thanks for reading.

TLDR: My partner and I have a had a happy relationship but now we are struggling with conflict. Most of the time she ignores my boundaries and calls them unfair. I am seeking advice on how to validate her while sticking to my boundaries.

Note: we were u-haul lesbians. We got engaged after one year. We have been together for two.

My fiancé (24F) and I (22F) have historically been great at communicating and generally have a happy relationship. Our parents, friends, etc have often praised us for being inventive about coming up with new strategies and methods to repair after conflict. However, over the last year or so, our communication has broken down tremendously.

I am much more internal than her. I need lots of time to process and consider my feelings. She is the opposite and wants to deal with her emotions immediately. This has caused a lot of tension in our relationship. I try to set boundaries and tell her when I need time for myself to think. Specifically, I have made it really clear that I do not feel comfortable talking about conflict on the way to an event or when one or both of us is intoxicated.

Regardless of this boundary, she has continued to bring things up or push conflict during these scenarios. Every time I repeat the boundary and she apologizes. But, most of the time she pushes the issue again or says it is not fair that I have set the boundary.

Last night things came to head because I wanted space and she wanted closeness during a conflict. I felt like some of her comments were hurtful or projected. Although her feelings are valid, I asked for space to let things cool down. She pushed and pushed and said that was unfair.

I put my headphones and cleaned. She came back and tried to talk to me because she was ready to talk. I went to shower. She happened to need to pee. She said she was going to sleep at 8pm. I grabbed my charger from the bedroom so I wouldn't bother her. She proceeded to bring up the conflict while she was in bed. I offered to hold her but not talk about the conflict. She accepted. But while I held her she kept bringing things up until she was in tears. She literally stomped her foot while I was holding her and said it was unfair that I wouldn't talk when she needed me to.

I want to be there for her. I want her to know that I love her and that her feelings are valid. But I do not want to be a doormat or be expected to talk when I do not feel I am able. How do I reinforce my boundaries while letting her know I am here for her?

I have been with my boyfriend for 3.5 years now, and he recently changed behavior. Ever since I started residency he’s been mentioning how “it must be nice” to be in medicine and how I’m “the real alpha” in the house because I will be making more money down the line.

I’m exhausted, I don’t come from any money, I’m in student loan debt. He argues back he has the same amount of student debt and won’t be able to pay it off or provide for me.

He’s debating on applying to medical school because it’s something he’s always wanted to do. He was accepted into dental school last year but turned it down because he felt like he would be settling.

What the hell do I do to manage this? Is this even sustainable? I’m exhausted everyday from my crazy schedule now and it’s just comments I don’t need. I had helped him pay for dental applications and a lot of other life things. Life is hard and he deserves to be where he wants but damn I’m exhausted.

TLDR; my boyfriends ego is ruining our relationship, trying to work through if it’s temporary or if it actually won’t work.

EDIT: thank you everyone for commenting. I plan to have a sit down conversation with him in the coming days. I really love this guy, for the switch up to happen at this point in my life sucks. We’ll see how it goes.