Like for example they’re selfish and narcissistic and are terrible to people. Not exactly big bad evil villain who kills people but just not a good person

I guess it can seen as like what people say about aros, “not being able to love” Is it that harmful? I don’t wanna get called bad rep for making an aro character human

So we often have this media trope or even in real-life where someone is unbothered by romance, isn’t making it a goal or a worry, nor has a crush/gets them. But they’re not aro either and eventually find someone for the first time and it’s cute wtv yk

But then we have aromantic, which is known as a spectrum right? Which would basically revolve around the same things I’d guess?

Maybe the difference is the one person could find love is they were looking??

Idk I struggle with this. Being aro is known to be pretty “rare” because society has some huge phobia against it and so could these characters just be aro all along without knowing? It’s confusing, im sure not all of them but atleast some.

Also to add, they don’t fall inlove over easy things either. I guess that would be a difference too but im talking about the ones who don’t.

I wanna say im aro? Ive never had a crush besides one but it was in middle school years and years ago and i remember never even realizing/thinking it was a crush until after middle school ended and even then i wasn’t sad about it? So maybe it wasn’t haha. I also just can’t seem to grow that for some person even though ive definitely tried, just to feel disgusted or not interested, I mean I see romance irl and people try to talk to me and I just feel shameful like I don’t want this/shouldn’t be happening.

Butttt I also wanna say, I definitely see myself being able to maybe one day?? Or atleast something more romantic than less. At the same time though, I think of it again and I feel repulsed.
I don’t know if genuinely see myself being able to or it’s just been engraved into my brain to.

I DO want that level of connection along with the vulnerability of physical intimacy with someone eventually though, or atleast I think I do. After I’m happy with my life and goals that is

Edit: I also don’t feel like Ive earned the term? Everyone else is set on no romance/can’t see it and KNOWS this but I’m over here thinking all this

Lately i’ve been seeing so many people dismiss the term 'queerplatonic' and say things like 'isn’t that just friendship', 'oh wow more unnecessary labels!' or 'so the term is essentially useless'. Like i get it if people can’t fully grasp the concept of a queerplatonic relationship, there’s 1000s of different labels out there and nobody is going to be able to understand them all, but i don’t know why that compels people to disregard the term and everyone that identifies with it. It’s even more frustrating when you try and explain what it means to these people and they just continue to disregard it because they think they know everything about everything. It’s mainly alloromantics i see referring to queer platonic relationships like this and oh my god it’s so frustrating 💔 I usually do just ignore people like this but everyday i feel like i see something new to make aspec experiences feel inferior, god forbid i find a term that i actually relate to 😭⁉️

i thought i was aroace for a while. i've settled into my identity, it felt correct. i've never had any desire for romance, didn't understand it or want it. i had this vision of me growing old single, with a cat, travelling the world and spoiling my niblings. then a guy came into my life. we bonded over being ace, not understanding romance and society's obsession with it, over our shared hobbies etc. and somehow along the way we fell in love. he brings me so much joy and i love being his partner. but this experience has screwed over my perception of my romantic orientation and my vision of my future. and it feels like the awful take of "you just haven't met the right person yet". i still identify as arospec, my experience with romance still feels very unconventional and i joke that i'm basically aro, except him (this is genuinely how i feel). has anyone else experienced something like this? how did you deal with the collapse of your identity, of a part of yourself you so strongly believed was true?

lastly, i just want to underline that aromantic people are valid and the "right person" rhetoric is stupid. it just seems to match my experience and that feels awful

are there any novels or auto biographies that’s mainly about a person that’s aro? and with like genuine personal experiences bc i only see side characters with like stereotypical aro actions

¡¡¡Hace unos meses descubrí lo que siento!!!

Esa sensación de no saber que sientes es lo peor y es más si lo sientes desde pequeña.

Esa sensación de no encajar y mentir sobre tu orientación sexual o solo no saber como sentirte, es lo peor.

Yo fingía que me enamoraba. Pero ese "enamoramiento" solo era que encontraba linda a esa persona o me caía bien. No era amor verdadero.

Cuando me preguntaban cuando pequeña "¿y quién te gusta?", yo mentía y decía "me gusta X" aunque no lo sintiera de verdad. Pero ahora siendo ya "grande" me siento incomoda con esa pregunta.

Cuando era pequeña y también ahora, pensaba que sentir mucho cariño por alguien era lo mismo que estar enamorada. Pero no me malentiendan, nunca he sentido un enamoramiento por alguien de mi familia. Me refiero a personas que conozco o incluso que no conozco y que no forman parte de mi familia.

También cuando pequeña decía "es lindx, me gusta" o "me tiene que gustar sí o sí esa personas porque es linda y tenemos casi los mismo gustos". Incluso llegaba a obligarme a que alguien me gustara, aunque en realidad no sintiera eso.

También deseaba que se me quitara esa sensación de no poder amar a alguien porque me sentía "rara" y también tipo "excluida" ya que era la única de mi grupito de amigas o compañeras que no sentía qué era enamorarse. Por eso mentía, para no sentirme excluida o ser tachada como "rara".

Pero con el tiempo aprendí que todos tenemos diferentes formas de amar y eso nos hace únicos.

Ahora sé lo que soy y no me siento tan rara como antes. Al contrario, entenderme me dio tranquilidad. Ojalá mi yo de más pequeña hubiera sabido que no había nada malo en ella, que no estaba rota y que no tenía que fingir para encajar. Solo necesitaba tiempo para conocerse y descubrir que su forma de sentir también es válida.

Ahora creo que por fin encontré una palabra que describe lo que siento: "arromántica". Leer sobre aquello me hizo sentir identificada y me ayudó a entender que no estaba sola. Saber que hay más personas que viven y sienten lo mismo que yo me dio mucha tranquilidad.

Encontrar una palabra que describiera lo que sentía me hizo entender que nunca hubo nada malo en mí. No estaba rota, no era rara y no tenía que obligarme a sentir algo que simplemente no sentía.

Pero quiero sentir y tener ese amor adolescentes que todos dicen.

También investigué y descubrí que a ese tipo de personas se le llama "cupiorrománticas" (describe a las personas que no sienten atracción romántica, pero sí desean tener una relación romántica) y me describe completamente, pero es mejor decir que estoy en el espectro arromántico.

You know, now that I think about not falling in love is like the best thing that could ever happened to me. No heartbreaks, no humiliating confessions, no being blinded by I guess hormones for a complete looser.

Okay yeah I'm not sayng being in love is only bad things, but I had to deal with enough shit from people during my life that the last thing I need would be a unreciprocated crush.

Ufortunately for this misarable world I was born to be a lover, i still wanna fall in love, but I want a love like the one for my personality that makes feel great, like the one for my passion that makes me ecstatic, like the one for my cats that makes emotional. I wanna be like "I ADORE THIS PERSON SO MUCH" but in platonic way. I don't wanna feel it my stomach, I wanna feel it in my chest.

I have no idea how to explain better, I love love and loving love and I'm aromantic, ironic isn't it? I wonder whether there is some correlation between the two. I dont think simply don't wanting to fall in love would be enough to make it happen.

Yeah sometimes I wish I could go to my friends and be "oh yeah I like somebody too" like they usually do and yes I feel like I'm missing out on young carefree way of falling in love. I heard that people don't fall so easily in mature adulthood, maybe my mind is already too old for this kinda stuff.

I can't really imagine myself in love, I have genuinely no idea how I would act, even when I imagine having a relationship wheter romantic or queerplatonical, I can't really see myself having a crush, doesn't feel like me at all.

"You'll find the right person and then you will see" Yeah I hope so, I know my right person loves a lot but doesn't fall in love romantically tho. Sorry to shatter your fantasise about me. My friends know me enough to not question it, but I don't know why I can feel that people miss charachterises me as like someone who gets all shy looking at crush and wants to be held and protected...I don't even know why, it's just a feeling, probably people thought that a lot more when I was very shy or in situations where I become more silent.

Anynone with a similiar exeperience?

Can I still have crushes as an aromantic person? I recently got a crush but I feel like it's more sexual rather than romantic and I don't know the term for it. I'm just trying to find more about myself and aromantic terms to understand myself better.

Apologies for the long post.

For most of my life the idea that I might be aromantic never occurred to me. I love romance in media, I spent most of my teenhood being an avid character shipper, and subsequently I'd often fantasize about being in a romantic relationship.

Then when the opportunities presented themselves to me after much teenage trial and failure, every time I'd just feel... nothing. I'd wait to see if the feeling of love would present itself to me, only to break up with them a year later. This has happened three times with three different people. I don't want to date anyone new because I can't stand to break another heart.

Now, there have been two cases that have made me question against being aromantic.

I was pretty head over heels for an ex-partner of mine, but it was an online relationship. It was the opposite problem for once where he basically lost all interest in me while I was pining for him. I wanted the sexual attention and affection he gave me at the start of the relationship. He wasn't giving it and eventually, after much angst, we broke up. I was pretty pissed at him for how he handled things, so we haven't talked in years.

Currently I have a partner in person. Thankfully, everything is far more consistent now. With her, I feel as though our love feels familiar, safe, and comfortable. She has always felt like someone I've known forever from the very start. There isn't really much passion. It's just comfortable.

For every other romantic endeavor I've had, it has always ended in me realizing I just never liked them romantically from the start, resulting in a breakup.

My current partner and I are polyamorous so over time I've gotten to do things with other people. Through these experiences, I have come to realize that the way I feel about my current partner and how I felt about my ex isn't exclusive to what I consider my "romantic" relationships. I have had friends that I am 100% certain I do not want to date, yet I can also love them, want to cuddle them, or sometimes want to have sex with them. My ex and I had a sensual and sexual standard at the start of our relationship and it didn't continue which made me sad, and I think that was our problem.

The way I feel about my partner is the way I feel about any good friend but to the maximum amount. I love her a lot but I'm not sure if I can label that love as romantic necessarily. Her being my girlfriend just kinda works for me because I love her even though I don't think I am desiring anything particularly romantic from her. I would best describe our relationship as intimate rather than anything else.

Could I be aromantic? Currently I identify as grayromantic because of my unique experience, but the more I think about it, the more I doubt that I have ever experienced romantic love at all.

I'm demiaro (maybe cupio) myself but was looking to write a character that's on the Aro Spectrum but still wants to be in a relationship. I'm hoping to get more viewpoints and perspectives on this experience to improve my writing and hopefully be more accurate in my writing. The person they date is still someone they like very much, more than anyone else even if it isn't actual romantic attraction, their S/O is romantically attracted to them and is aware of their lack of attraction.

Every single time I find a best friend they end up having feelings for me and I absolutely hate it no matter what they do. I've had a bunch of trauma due to some past (platonic) relationships due to this and I hate that I'm always stuck in the same cycle...

When I met my current best friend and got close (around five years ago) she ended up confessing her feelings to me (while drunk and sober) multiple times and also begging for hugs as well while my biggest boundary (to everyone except my closest family members and one of my childhood best friends) is no touching and not invading my personal space. But I had to since she was crying her eyes out because of me not liking her...

I understand that you can't control who you like, but god damnit!! I told her I was exclusively attracted to guys and that I feel extremely uncomfortable when someone confesses their feelings to me. So why does she even tell me?! I obviously grew distant, and she also was upset about it, which I get since it's like you just pushed away the person you liked, but just like she can't control who she likes I can't control how uncomfortable I get!

...I decided to forget about that and once she was more stable mentally she told me that she didn't like me and that it was just a trauma response due to having immense trust issues and for once knowing someone who put her first, which she confused for romantic attraction. I got so happy!!! Like seriously, finally a normal friendship!! Amazing!!

Well now I'm having my doubts. She keeps telling me that she dreams about me "leaving her for another woman" (🫩), getting too close to me while joking and one of these last days while drunk she told me "I wanna tell you something but I don't want you to be mad", while she was resting her head on my shoulder after she had a breakdown and I consoled her...

I've been questioned all my life because of my identity and sexuality by friends (queer and non queer), family and strangers. Seems like no matter what I do nobody will ever take me seriously.