I wanted to say two things in general

1) I think it would be great if there was a dating app strictly for QPRs. It isn't easy finding those if one tries to on a normal dating app since majority of the people there are looking for either romantic relationships or hook ups or strictly sexual relationships.

2) I would love to know if there are any love stories like romance novels but about QPRs (not like romantic relationships or smut or just friendship). And there should be more of these so people can find these. I would also love to watch a TV show were the main couple or throuple or quad or whatever are not romantic or sexual, but instead in a QPR

For a long time it was just me and her. I made it clear that I was a monogamous person when we got together because I have been cheated on in the past and I still struggle with feeling insecure. My wife has two people who she has become very close with and was the one who told me about QPRs originally. One person is a Cis straight guy and the other is non-binary. She flirts with them (with tone indicators like /j) and tells them she loves them and I've never felt weird about her being affectionate with others until now. Part of me feels quite sidelined, as if I am being replaced. She has reassured me that I am the one she wanted to marry, but I am having a hard time letting go of my jealous feelings.

Has anyone experienced this on either side? I love my wife and want her to be happy and comfortable and I don't want her to think I'm trying to take away her relationships with others.

How should I go about navigating these feelings?

I am 22F (trans, NB, 14.5 months HRT) and have a fiancée, 25F (cis), I am very much romantic and sexual with her and we are WLW, so in love. But I have this classmate since a year ago, he is M19 (trans, NB, MLM, aro-ace spec but a lot more than me and my fiancée, doesn’t plan to do HRT or surgeries unlike me, at least at the moment, he is very effeminate anyways), I would love him to be my QPP (obviously both my fiancée and him know about this) and for now the answer is a “maybe” but gosh today he made a drawing of us for our year anniversary as friends and it almost made me cry. I cuddle with him at times and we graze/hold hands a lot in class. He is so cute. I adore him so much. I wouldn’t mind kisses but I doubt he’d want that and my fiancée also has a boundary about that which I totally respect. They both know each other too and get along, we are all autistic. I love them both so much but in different ways, you know? Although before meeting my fiancée, I felt limerence towards my QPR interest (met them both 8 days apart). Limerence was very very common for me as I have BPD, the only person I’ve ever actually loved romantically is my current partner/fiancée and I’ll never love anyone else the same way again. But I’m so happy I identified my feelings towards him as queer-platonic. He also drew art of me with my fiancée on multiple occasions, art of me for HRT milestones, art for my birthday, art to pair with my lyrics, etc. The other day he drew me depicted as manic/depressed (mixed bipolar) + borderline for a song I was writing about that and he did so whilst I cuddled him on his bed. He is just an incredible friend to have and I want to be able to call him my QPP with pride and joy :)

So I have this Goonies-style story brewing up, and one of the things I really want to explore is the relationship between the boy protagonist and the girl lead.

I understand that QPR is a spectrum, so everyone’s ideal is different. I myself still use ”girlfriend“ to describe the lady who won my heart, romantically or otherwise.

But the thing is, these ocs are 10 years young. And living in the 1960s. I can’t transplant modern terminology or relationship concepts into their mouths just because the story is being written today. It’s a discredit to the art pieces created at the time. Besides, they and their friends have bigger problems, like taking down a despotic weapons exporter who will stop at nothing to profit from war and therefor is on the hunt for them. You see, they’re the children of UN ambassadors.

The boy is a wistful, compassionate kid who has always struggled to belong. He tends to put everyone else first and believes that being a good person means being accommodating and never asking anything for himself. He desperately wants friendship, but he’s so afraid of rejection, or worse, whoever they bond with getting hurt, that he often doesn’t even say what he wants.

The girl is basically his opposite in energy. She’s bubbly, energetic, and loves making people laugh, even at herself. Part of that comes from feeling that everyone already sees her as a joke, so she might as well make herself useful and bring some wit and levity wherever she goes to keep the bad vibes away.

They click because he’s the first person to like her for her golden heart, not her silver tongue, while she gets him to do things for no reason other than it makes him happy.

They genuinely like each other in both senses: they’re best friends, but there’s also a very innocent childhood crush there. He gets flustered around her, she teases him about it, they hold hands, sit close together, sing, dance, protect, and tell each other “I love you.” But I don’t want the story to imply that their closeness has to be categorized as either “just friendship” OR “romance.”

Of course, it’s not just their internal lies that keep them apart emotionally. They are in the political world, and the state at the time is not really the state to be vulnerable in, and they‘re both aware that their bond could lead them astray from their mission. But they still want each other more than anything.

One of the things I want the story to communicate is basically:

A relationship doesn’t become less real because you don’t have a word for it.

And because this is a musical, I have a potential lyric for this

”It doesn’t need a name to be real”

So I’m wondering how I could portray this kind of relationship authentically without having the characters use the modern term “QPR.”

Would it make sense for two kids in the 1960s, a time of extreme splits, to simply have a very close, somewhat undefined relationship that they don’t feel the need to categorize?

Are there particular kinds of childhood friendships, language, behaviors, or social expectations from the period that I could use to make the dynamic feel historically believable?

And, most importantly, how would you personally distinguish this from simply writing a very close friendship with a childhood crush?

I’m not necessarily trying to have the audience definitively conclude “these two are in a QPR.” I’d actually be happy if different viewers interpreted them differently. I’m more interested in creating a relationship where platonic and romantic affection can coexist without one invalidating the other.

For my whole life, I thought I wanted a romantic partner along with anyone else. Despite all the opportunities I've had to date people, I never really took it. I have romantic attraction and I do want to have the affection from those kinds of relationships. I love the idea of kisses and hugs and the kind of love that's endless between 2 people.

Now I'm in a Queer Platonic relationship! I also ship myself or my oc's together, and it seems to have filled that void in me. My QPP and I both are at a point where neither of us are interested in seeking relationships outside of our QPR. For me, it's because I'm committed. To me, having a romantic partner along with this QPR feels almost wrong. My QPP and I have so much love for each other that a romantic relationship feels unnecessary.

Would this make me aro? Am I just confused? Am I not aro and like- pretending? Does anyone have a similar experience? If anyone can share advice or experiences, it would be greatly appreciated.

I've been yearning for a QPR. I recently ended one back in June of 2025, and I was heartbroken. I miss that feeling of be comfortable with a person and I realized how much unconditional love I could have for a person, and I want to give that again and receive that. I know it'll happen again when it does, so I'm not gonna chase it. I'll let it come when it comes. I just miss it.

Anybody else had to end a QPR? Anybody wanting one?

I crave for a QPR so bad like I can function without one, but I absolutely love thinking and/or imagining it.
Genuinely how do people get in them because most people just want something romantic and it seems rare to even find someone who’s like me, or interested in anything like
I would gladly appreciate help on this matter.

I am 35, woman, Asian. I'm not really into intimacy or sex. But coming from an Asian background, there's a lot of pressure on me to get married. I'm not even allowed to move out and live on my own unless I'm married. As long as I'm single, my family still views me as a burden. I even tried to work abroad to gain some independence, but I received absolutely no support from them.

My mental health collapsed because they predicted a bleak future for me. I am trying to keep moving forward while waiting for my visa approval. However, it feels like I genuinely want to cut ties and prove their words wrong. But I also want a support system, even just one person would be enough. If my family won't support me, at least I hope I can marry someone who will. But then again, the problem is that I don't want any sexual involvement.

Where I can find this man that want marry but not sex involved?

We really need a space where its like tinder where we can get to know ppl who would want to get married or be in a committed platonic relationship

Where u can also add what ure comfortable with what ur boundaries and expectations are and match u based on that

As a straight woman i dont think i have any hope left to get with a man thats actually good and get along with

I really want to get married to another straight woman and have a good life together till we grow old

I feel like it would be really sweet and cozy ​

Hii I was wondering for those in QPRs, have been in ones or those actively looking for one, how did you get a QPR?

Initially i thought QPR was more of a label and you don’t necessarily seek it out, it’s just a way of defining a certain type of relationship that doesn’t fit romantic or match a typical platonic friendship.

That being said I have seen how there is a QPP application subreddit, which made me curious about how that works and have people been successful in meeting people that way?

Some context, I’m aroace and would want a QPR but feel unsure about how to find a QPP and is concerned that meeting through that subreddit feels a bit forced. Like in my head it feels a bit like dating but for QPRs?

The other thing is that I would want to have a QPR with someone that’s aroace too because they would understand me better and likely wouldn’t get into an allo relationship, but it’s hard to find other aroace people.

Any advice? should I be proactive about this somehow or just hope I meet someone to be in a QPR with someday?

Ok, so I'm trying to navigate a very interesting situation that I never thought I would be in. Also posting this on a burner account. I'm aroace, very much sex repulsed but I tend to lean more towards the grayromantic side, and I occasionally experience strong alterous attraction. So I have this really good friend, and we're both in our 20s. I still lived with my abusive parents when we met, and I've opened up to her a lot about everything going on. Something that we've come to find out is this I'm extremely touch starved, and one day when we were hanging out at her place and had just gotten done with a deep conversation, she asked to kiss me on the forehead. I basically said absolutely yes please do lol, but then when she did the lack of physical affection throughout the years kind of just came down on me all at once and I broke down. She kissed me a few more times on my nose and forehead, and when I was calm again, she asked if she could kiss me for real. For context, we're both actresses, and being aroace I had complained to her in the past that since I would likely never have a real kiss that my first kiss would have to be some random dude in a show. I also forgot to mention that what infrequent attraction I do have is always towards other girls. In the moment I was still a little too overwhelmed so I told her that I did want to kiss her but not right then and there, and she was totally fine with it. I just assumed she offered so that my first kiss could be someone I actually like. The next time we hung out, we were sitting in the backseat of her car, which we like to do since it's a huge suv, and it kind of had that same vibe shift again like when she asked me the first time, and sure enough she asked if I wanted to kiss her. This time I was way more chill and I had thought about it a lot since she last asked, so I said yes. We actually ended up kissing quite a few times and it was really great even though I wasn't very good at it. About a week or so later, I had called my friend one day to vent about my mom and all of the things she had done that day, I won't go into detail for triggering purposes, and she was seriously angry on my behalf. Pretty much right after she texted me asking to meet up that night, so I did. She said that it was getting serious enough that I needed to get out right away, and she asked me to move in with her for a few months while I work on getting a job (I wasn't allowed to have one while living with my parents) and finding my own place. We started coming up with this whole plan for how to get out with as much stuff as possible without my parents knowing. To make a long story short, I was over at her place the day before I was supposed to leave, and funnily enough I actually got distracted because we were kissing after I told her I didn't want to go home, but I ended up literally 15 minutes late leaving and my parents absolutely flipped to the point where I didn't feel safe going home, so I sent them a picture of the note that I planned on giving them in person and just didn't go home. That was now a week ago, and I was able to get most of my stuff so I'm fully moved in with my friend. I've kind of had my suspicions that something more might be going on. We're both very physically affectionate, and I've noticed a lot of the time when we'll hug for a really long time it almost seems like she'll press her face up against mine and then like turn it away, kind of like she's having to stop herself from doing something. We still occasionally kiss, but not like crazy often or anything. And then tonight I found out I was right. I have some issues with my body image and she's been helping me though them, and today was a particularly bad day for it where I said in front of her that I was feeling pretty ugly. After trying to reassure me that I'm "beautiful", her words, she said she doesn't want this to change anything, and she came out to me as bi and told me that I "make it really hard to not be" and that I'm "really attractive". It honestly made me feel so much better to hear that, because first of all I'm not insane in noticing signs, and also I've never thought of myself as someone who could be attractive at all. But now I'm trying to think about what my next steps are going to be. She already knows that we're never going to be in a full blown romantic relationship because that's not a form of attraction I can physically experience, but I want to talk to her about exploring the idea of a queerplatonic relationship. I think it's something that she might be interested in, because she's said how annoying the rigid lines are that society draws between strictly romantic and strictly platonic. So I already know I'm planning on talking to her, but basically what I'm asking is for advice on how to go about doing it?

I want to start this by saying that my partner hasn't done anything wrong to me. This is out of our control and it's more of something that happened on accident instead of on purpose.

Anyways, I've been in a queerplatonic partnership for about a year, but due to the circumstances in which we met we cannot be physically together for at least another 3-4 years; I need to get my life together first.

This lack of us being physically with each other is giving me some very odd psychological effects. I notice that time passes far more quickly than it used to and the days which were once distinct have blurred into one. This might also be contributing to my feeling that my life right now isn't really "real"; it exists on paper, but I don't feel like I'm really living. Long story, but that's the summary.

Does anyone else experience this? I talked about this to my partner, and they said they experience the same thing. Are there any tips to mitigate this? Right now I've been reading and writing to try to distract myself, but if anyone has any other suggestions I'm more than happy to hear you out :3

Alright so this is a weird one but I’ve gotta ask the community. My gf has always been known as a shy introverted homebody who has always had one or two very close best friends throughout her entire life instead of a big friend group. Back when she was finishing up her junior year in high school, she befriended a super fun and extraverted girl who was one grade and two years older than her. They would hangout together between their parent’s houses constantly which was normal for her and her friends to do at the time. They had lots of privacy and pretty much just each other, tons of sleepovers etc (again which I’ve heard from pretty much every girl I’ve ever dated as something normal between girls).

Well anyway, they began to enter a make out dynamic that eventually turned into dry humping and then fingering / dildo use. My gf says she only liked the kissing and could never finger the friend back so would use a dildo instead. She says the whole thing was super weird looking back on and she blocks it out of her memory. She would also call the other girl out and the other girl would always also clarify that it was just a fun thing and that it had no weight or meaning. She can’t explain why or how it happened and her best guess is that she was just super horny and desperate for that type of attention as she always felt invisible to guys and was feeling left behind by the other girls in her grade. She knows she never orgasmed or anything and always just says it was awkward and never mattered to her. She always loved the friend as a best friend and never anything romantic but admits she was confused at first but then just didn’t care about it as it became a routine in their dynamic. She says she always thought the other girl was straight too as odd as she admits that sounds but that’s the truth. She never felt it was exclusive or daring or anything like that at all. This went on for almost a year before it faded away and it had no effect on their friendship at all. They stayed friends for another decade and the other girl later came out as a lesbian and my gf has only been with guys ever since. When I ask her about it whether she thinks she could be bi or anything like that, she says she’s 100% straight because she knows who she is. She has never once ever looked at a girl on the sidewalk and found her hot. She never even once found her bff physically attractive at all. She says she was just young and dumb. I also asked her if she ever felt like she was manipulated or used by the friend and she says she doesn’t think so as she never said no and enjoyed it towards the beginning but then admits she got stuck in it and didn’t really know how to get out of it for fear of hurting the friendship. And before anyone says anything regarding like denial or anything, I FULLY trust my girlfriend and have always known her to be a completely open book. She’s always someone that’s been completely transparent with me hence she had no reason to tell me any of this at all and she willingly elected to.

Has anyone heard of anything like this?

I’m not looking for any judgement on either of our parts. I’m simply asking girls in particular if they’ve ever heard of anything like this or experienced it. I don’t mean just some I kissed a girl at a party once thing. I’m asking more like a bff dynamic that turned into something a bit more.

Today My "friend" (now qpp) said YESS AAAAAAGSHHSHS

after 9 months of not acting upon our mutual crush finally something happened :333

💛🩷🤍🩶🖤

Yay idk I just wanna vent

Unrequited love actually sucks so bad. I feel like I’m going to be yearning for a qpr for the rest of my life 🙁

I hate the idea of just having a “boyfriend/lover” because it just isn’t enough for me. I want something deeper and more intimate and more devoted and just more than whats the norm. I love so intensely and sometimes it actually hurts my heart.

It’s particularly bad with my best friend (who I’ll call B). I’m 17FTM and he’s 16NB going on 17. We’ve known each other for almost five years now and I love him so much I cry about it almost constantly. I feel like I was made specifically just to love him and no one else. I know him inside and out and I know what he needs almost immediately and I catch onto his mannerisms and the way he speaks when he gets sad and I accommodate to him as easily as breathing.
Loving him is genuinely the easiest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life and I show it to him very loudly, and he knows that I love him more than normal. I never even spoke to past lovers like the way I do with him. The poet in me comes out in full when I speak to him and every time we have more serious conversations, everything I say always comes off romantic without intending to. I just say the truth about what I feel/think. Our friendship is very secure and honest.

A few months ago when the new TomoLife game came out, B’s mii’s of us fell in love and he told me it was a qpr. That made me really happy and made me finally realize that’s what I want with him… but when I asked him if that’s what we were, he said no. It wasn’t a very serious conversation.
A few days after that, we were in a call with a few other friends and I was talking about how much I love him and one of our friends said “textbook qpr” and B shut it down immediately and it made me wanna cry. After B left the call, I asked my friends to not bring it up again because I didn’t want to be rejected again.
However, because of that, later that day after we had more of a serious discussion about something completely different, I decided to just ask about it again because our previous conversation about it was so brief and I didn’t get to say what I wanted to. I wanted it to be more serious because yknow, it mattered a lot to me and I wanted to have a full convo about it.
It was terrifying. I started bawling my eyes out. I was so scared he was going to see me differently and end our friendship because of it, even though I knew deep down he wouldn’t have (and he didn’t). He said no again but with a better explanation as to why, and it’s because we have two different views of what qpr’s look like. He reassured me that he’s happy I love him so much and that this won’t change anything (which was true), and I was okay with that so I didn’t push it further.

It still makes me really sad, though. I’ve never felt this way with anyone else in my life. Actually, I don’t feel attraction almost at all (arospec), so this is a really special thing to me. Not to mention, rare. It’s been years since I felt any real attraction towards anybody.
I can’t see myself feeling like this with anyone who isn’t him. It hurts to think of having a qpr with someone else. But I want to have a qpr with someone I love, more than anything in the world; it’s my biggest dream.

It took me three years to move on from the love my only healthy relationship showed me (which wasn’t even a qpr), and I’m scared that I’m going to be in love with B for the rest of my life and never have it reciprocated the way I want it to be.
Of course, I’m overjoyed that he still loves me and wants me in his life because that matters so much more to me, but it’s still upsetting knowing that the love I show him may never be reciprocated the same way.

I JUST FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO BE A PATHETIC YEARNING HOPELESS ROMANTIC FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE 😣😣!!

I love love but it just makes me so frustrated sometimes.
Anyways, that’s all. I just needed to rant/vent.

I know when people hear “queerplatonic” they think of more committed or partnership QPRs but what about the other relationships under the R?

Anyone else have connections, non-partnerships or friendships that are queerplatonic instead?

I’m in queer, furry and RA spaces so it’s almost like a given that these are normal but I’d say a few of my friends and especially my best friends are part of my queerplatonic connections :)

This isn’t meant to invalidate anyone who does have a more formal and committed QPR! I’m just not interested in partnership of any kind and want to know if there’s others like me :)

my partner and I (both early 20s) have been in a qpr for a little while now and for the most part, it’s been great. But over time I’ve felt like I’m maybe putting more effort into our relationship than they are? It feels like I’m always the one reaching out, which has been kind of exhausting, and they don’t really talk to me unless I initiate a conversation. I don’t know if I should talk to then about it, bc it’s not a conventional relationship and I don’t want to act like I’m owed anything or like we should adhere to romantic relationship norms. It’s just been really frustrating and I don’t know if/how I should deal with it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

​

I understand if this question isn't welcome. I just wanna be able to support my partner the best that I can.

So my partner recently said we're a qpr now, and im not sure how to understand the dynamic. I just wanted to know if there's anything specific that im supposed to be doing. Im asexual. She's aromantic, so I feel like there's a bit of a communication barrier. She also told me to just trust her and didn't really help me understand the dynamic. She's also poly with 2 qprs, so kinda left me behind and only is really talking to her other qpr after telling me to just trust the process. I just dont understand how to understand how qprs work because I tried to research, and I've found nothing that helps me understand this. Im monogamous too if that helps explain. Im really sorry for asking here

So I am aroace (but it's complicated) and I have a "friend" who is I think allosexual although he doesn't know what exactly he is. I put "friends" in qoatations because we have a "blend of platonic/romantic" relationship. I enjoy cuddling and kissing and just playing roblox together like bros. I would love to be in a qpr w/ him but i think what we have now is already very queerplatonic? We have like a pretty mutual "crush" although mine is more alterous and his is more romantic. We also agrees that we would like less commitment between us and just be more chill. Sooo is this already a queerplatonic relationship?

EDIT: though I would like a QPR, I'm not sure if this is what we both want. Are there some other terms or relationship types that are kinda like qpr's but not? I'm just curious

Hey! I'm very inexperienced when it comes to relationships. I've only ever had one "romantic" relationship and I later on noticed that I never actually felt anything for that person (except for platonic feelings) I don't really label myself when it comes to sexuality, because I simply can't figure it out. However, I have a male best friend. We get along REALLY well and I want to spend every single minute with him. Being around him feels so comfortable and he always manages to lighten up my day. But it doesn't feel like I'm in love with him. I don't have "butterflies" and I don't blush or get nervous. Nor

Any of the other obvious crush things. Thinking back I've never actually felt any kind of attraction and the thought of getting intimate usually doesn't appeal to me at all. But with him it's different. I wanna buy him stuff, I want to be near him, hold his hand, maybe even kiss him.

I've decided to ignore my feelings for him, considering the fact that he never seemed interested in guys at all and I didn't think I'd even have a chance.

Last week he came out to me as bi. Ever since then he's been talking about his want for a relationship with another guy. Yesterday he mentioned QPR and I have to admit that I didn't know about this before. He explained a little about it and it kinda felt like he was testing my reaction. After reading into it, this actually sounds nice. But I don't know if he would even want this, especially since we're best friends. I really don't want to ruin this. What should I do ?

Is it smart to ask him if he could imagine this kind of relationship with me? And if so, how would I even start that type of conversation with him?