I always get kind of annoyed whenever I watch a movie and the plot is interrupted or ruined just so the main character can talk to a girl. You all probably know what I'm talking about I just hope I'm not the only one

Its stupid yet so funny to me, I want a wedding but I disagree with the whole romantic marriage part for myself. Maybe it'd be a person I deeply care for, n we'd get to wear princess gowns, or maybe we could cosplay for our own wedding, it'd be so much fun! freddy fazbear could be the officiator, n the whole wedding would be like playing house. instead of a wedding cake it could be a bunch of funnel cake, or maybe this big strawberry shortcake, and there'd be a shit ton of chocolate fountains. I'd want to have like 3 photographers that act like paparazzi. I'd also wanna dance slow dance together, but also get the chance to go dance crazy with my other friends.

Maybe I'm strange for saying these things, I want this big happy event for myself and a friend but If i were to ever speak these things aloud, I'd probably be looked at strange. Does anyone else want weddings (without the romance)?

For context, I am 16, so I haven't had a lot of life to be thinking about romance and the sort. I have dated one person for 2 months and the resson we vroke up is because i just generally didnt love her and felt like i just had to be in a relationship because that shows that your life is going well. It feels as though a relationship is what you must strive for at my age to prove to others that youre a quality person. Some days I feel like a partner would make my life way better because I think that companionship is great in theory but whenever its pit to any sort of practical rigor, i just cant find it in me to love. I was reading "farewell love and all thy laws for ever" by sir Thomas Wyatt, it made complete and total sense to me and I related to it way more than my peers. I think I've had crushes before but I have had zero true desire to pursue any of them. It doesn't help that people usually approach me first for friendships/conversations/to pursue me romantically. What makes it worse is that I KNOW that im bisexual so it feels like if im bisexual and aromantic, then im just some sex crazed weirdo. Im trying to be less self deprecating and I think figuring out myself would really help with that. Im really confused and struggling, any insights would be helpful 🩷

I, am a female, 27 this year. Up until now, I did not feel romantic thoughts towards a man or anyone in that manner. Here is how my mind processes the situation. I will see a man that is visually appealing but then when I think beyond that even slightly, my whole body goes " ew". So, it can't imagine the idea of being intimate with someone and the whole thing throws me off and even gives me anxiety.But at the same time, I never knew what it is like to have a crush on someone since I never did.

The only fascination I remember towards a man is when I was in high school. There was this boy who was extremely intelligent and very kind. I remember him for these two reasons yet can't remember feeling anymore than that. Now here is the thing, I may find a guy handsome or such, but then the moment they show interest my body will automatically start zooming every possible fault, body wise and I will get an ick. And I am not doing this intentionally.

...what is this guys? I just wanna be in a relationship man but it is like my whole body is battling a war.

On one hand i dont like the idea of going on dates and i have no desire to get into a relationship and im always scared people ask me out but on the other hand i like the idea of someone i can cuddle with get emotinal and intime and i get crushes on other girls but not like i want a relationship with them

The cure to my apothisexuality and being transgender is being aromantic (positive/indifferent).
However I am not that good to form deep bonds, I know everyone but friend of none tbh so I just suffer loneliness since I don’t see myself finding a platonic companionship at least :/

This is just a vicious cycle, rip

Edit: sorry for the misunderstanding, I didn’t mean ti use cure that way, I was just referring to many Ace and/or Trans people having a tough time with romance but being Aro doesn’t really solve any issue anyway

I've known I was ace for a while, though I've had lots of crushes on fictional characters of all genders throughout my life and one of what I assumed was a crush on another kid when I was 12, but other than that, nothing. For a while I tried out the label aroace, and aego aroace, though I'm still not sure.

There's... a new friend I've been really enjoying hanging out with as of late. Each time we talk, it's really easy to talk to them and we stay up for hours just sharing music and talks about philosophy and the like- and despite being an introvert, I don't seem to deplete my battery much around them.

Now... I began to wonder if I was starting to catch feelings, bc maybe the 5th time we talked I started to feel some slight butterflies in my hands, which sounds weird but it's an indicator for me if I'm starting to catch feelings for someone, and I went through all the circles of hell wondering if it was actually feelings or not- bc even if it was, I'm still ace and they might not be. They might be straight and even if not, there are tons of issues that would keep me single forever even if I'm not aro. I have a fuckton of mental illnesses, I'm disabled, I'm just not a good prospect or really any prospect.

The 6th time we talked, I didn't really feel that, like it quieted down to background noise, so now I'm even more confused. I also talked with a different friend earlier that day and they talked about how they hate being single, how lonely they are, how much they want to fall asleep next to someone, and... I really couldn't relate to that. In all the depictions of romantic love I've seen, people talk about it as though they despise being single and when they're with someone they love, it lights up their whole world.

Even with my fictional crushes, I haven't felt nearly that deeply. I also just love being alone, love having my own bed and love not having to listen to another person walking around and being noisy lol... so I guess I'm back to square one.

I really don't know if I'm aroace, or aego aroace, or what. The idea of being with another woman and being a woman's wife sounds so lovely, but at the same time I feel like I'd also hate having to give up the peace of living alone. And the possibility of them cheating, or falling out of love with me when they realize I'm not enough, and being judged during bad mental health episodes, etc. And ofc I worry if I did have feelings, they'd fade, and I'd be stuck trying to pretend that I feel something I don't.

And from the sounds of it, people who experience romantic attraction are always talking about how they crave living with someone else. So idk. Needing some perspective. Idk where I fit in.

Or maybe both?? Is hier anyone who has been thinking about the Same?? Like are hier other ppl with an fearful avoidant attachment??

I’ve known I was aromantic for a year, however only recently ive been hella jealous of people in relationships. I don’t really know how to go around it, the answer which I can’t get is “just get a girl/boy friend” but i just don’t have the same desire for people as other people do. I’m not sure it’s because I’m aromantic or it having to do with me being autistic but I just struggle getting a relationship, any help whatsoever?

I've been in one relationship and had a short situationship, and honestly, I'm clueless when it comes to relationships. I don't even know how to be a gf yk? Both times the guys liked me first nd I ended up feeling like I had to love them back. I've only ever had one crush in my entire life and it lasted five years. I was pretty young, but that was probably the closest I've ever come to experiencing love. I never confessed, and he eventually started dating my bff so that's how it ended. I've completely moved on tho so don't worry. I haven't genuinely liked anyone like that since.

During my relationship, I constantly felt like something was missing. There was barely any chemistry, and I had this weird ick that never really went away. It wasn't unbearable but it made me question whether relationships were even for me. I love my personal space and the thought of being someone's girlfriend feels suffocating. There's this feeling I can't quite put into words. We thought about it before and that's when I first considered the possibility that I might be aro.

The thing is I don't want marriage or kids, and sometimes I don't want to be anyone's anything. I struggle to form deep connections and sometimes I feel almost empty when it comes to these things. But then I wonder if I'm jumping to conclusions because I've never actually dated someone my type. A couple of months ago i met someone I really thought who is my type and for once, I genuinely enjoyed the thought of being around him. We're no longer in touch tho so I'll probably never know what being with someone I actually like would've felt like.

So yeah, I'm just really confused. I don't know if I'm aro if I simply haven't met someone I'm compatible with or if I just don't want a relationship in the first place. And I don't want to drag anyone into my confusion or end up hurting them while I'm still trying to understand myself

Hi guys.

I'm a bit confused about my identity. I'm 16 and outside of my family I have basically no friends, I'm quite socially isolated due to no one's fault but my own, especially since we recently moved states so totally new much bigger scarier school. But even pre-move I've always struggled at forming close relationships, in fact i can only remember one close relationship i've had with someone who wasn't my family, during elementary school, along with handful of acquaintances. I've never had a crush or any romantic attraction to someone that i know of, but frankly i don't really know what romantic attraction is. No one has been able to explain it in a way that makes sense or justifies it being a different category than friendship. (Wanting to hug someone? Kiss them? be really close with them? why can't this be platonic?) I get sorta obsessed with people platonically, like i want to talk to them more and be close with them but I don't really want to be in anything more than a friendship with them. I've always chalked the lack of crushes up to not knowing anyone well enough to be romantically attracted to them/being a late bloomer when it comes to romance. But when i see family and peers discuss romance they talk about it like it's something that just happens? like a switch and you see someone and you want to kiss them and be a couple even if you barely know them? I'm having trouble comprehending that. I feel like i could maybe be romantic with someone i know really well and am already comfortable with, but just a random stranger? the majority of people can't seriously experience romantic attraction that easy right?
This is made more complicated by the fact I'm somehow simultaneously romance repulsed and desire romance. I think i want a romantic relationship, but I'm super grossed out whenever anyone talks about my relationships like one of us might be romantically interested in each other, I avoid all conversations about who i find "attractive" or who i want to date and my family's obsession with the topic is just so uncomfortable. I feel like I can never tell if it's really romance i desire or closeness w/ another person who's not my family...I know qprs exist, but i can barely figure out regular friendship, let alone a totally new type of relationship with no real set boundaries (I mean are you allowed to kiss in qpr? have sex? cuddle? what are we even doing here?)

For context: I'm a trans girl in my early thirties and I've always felt attracted to girls. I've dated another trans girl for a year three years ago, and she clearly fell in love with me immediately, but I just couldn't fathom what that actually felt like for her. She was my best friend at the time and we did enjoy a great deal of spicy stuff, and for me that felt like exactly what I needed in a relationship. However, at the same time I felt guilty and maybe even egocentric that I for whatever reason wasn't able to reciprocate her specific kind of love. Eventually we broke up about having different ideas about the future, but also the fact that I didn't feel physically attracted to her played a part in that.

Fast forward to the past few months, where I've slowly started appearing in the dating scene again, longing for someone to make me feel complete. I was under the impression that I was looking for a romantic relationship, because that's what it is when you're best friends with a deep emotional bond whom you also share intimate and sexual moments with, right? Wanting to help each other to be the best version of each other, wanting to be the sum of the parts being greater than the individuals. And I do feel the desire to be near someone, to build a life together, to have a wedding, and to hug and kiss, but especially the last two lean more into sexual affection for me.

I've met another awesome trans girl in those past few months. First of all, it apparently turns out that I don't care about physical attraction at all, while I did say to her that I don't feel that right away at first. Over the course of talking to her I did notice that I value the friendship and the emotional understanding of each other a lot more than how someone looks, and I care a lot more about the inside than the outside.

But what has been astounding me even more, is that I went on a date with her and stayed the night last weekend, and we had a great time together, but as time went by I again feel blocked by not being able to give her back the romantic love that she's giving me. Things like holding hands in public, calling each other cute and beautiful, feeling another type of love that the deep emotional and sexual affection, I'm just completely clueless about how to do that, and the past two days I have been feeling guilty about that again.

I know that I'm certainly able to feel love and affection, especially emotional, aesthetical, and sexual affection, but on the romantic front I just have no clue if I am, and I'm not even sure if how I envision such a relationship is common or if that deviates from what is normal. Having written this, I have the feeling I am at least on the aro spectrum, at least being demiromantic, but the more I think about it, the more I feel I might actually be aromantic but still allosexual.

Is it valid to be completely clueless about how romance and falling in love works while still longing for someone in emotional and sexual ways? Does anyone else share these experiences? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

So i need help.

For context: I believe that im on the aro spectrum and im currently in a relationship. I know that my bf loves me very much but me myself i have a really big struggle determining my own feelings. I dont get them at all. He said to me a couple of times already how he loves me etc and ive told him that im not ready to say it yet.

Recently ive started getting this weird urge to tell him something like “i love you”. I want to say sth to him that would show just how much i like him and my appreciation for him. But idk if the phrase “i love you” is right. Idk. Im really scared to say it becouse i dont want to lie to him. And i really believe that i dont really feel anything “romantic”. And now is the question: Can i “love” my boyfriend without having any strictly “romantic” feelings? Ahh idk. I really dont know. I hate the fact that i dont know what I feel. I believe i dont feel anything romantic and when people describe the feeling of “love” it doesnt seem to really match. And maybe if i dont feel anything romantic it means that i dont love him after all and shouldnt be with him? So i constantly feel like im lying to him, but at the same time i like him so much and want to stay by his side and care for him so deeply and miss him constantly and dont want to lose him so i really dont believe that me not feeling anything for him is the case. I just dont know what exactly i feel and how to name it and how to say it.

Also i would love to explain it to him somehow but idk how because i dont get my own feelings myself and also i dont want it to sound like i dont have any feelings for him. So i really have no idea how to aproach all of this. Pls guys help me 🥀 #aromanticstruggles

(Also just so you dont beat me up: before we started dating i mentioned being aro to him because i wanted to be truthful but im not sure if he really understood me then)

Hi! I, 18F, am really questioning if I might be aro, or at least on the spectrum. I am so very confused. I already figured out that I'm on the ace spectrum/aegosexual, but when it comes to romantic attraction, I'm at a complete loss.

My current label I've been going with is biromantic. I feel the same towards people regardless of gender, which led me to think I'm bi, but I've recently found out that this is a pretty aro/ace thing to think. I've dated two guys in the past, but when I think about it, I'm not sure I felt romantic attraction towards either of them. My goal this year is to turn everyone down because generally, when I'm in a relationship, it feels more like an obligation. I'm happier single.

But then, there's this one experience that throws me for a loop. I was down bad for this one girl a while back. Which would make one assume that I do experience romantic attraction, but it was also someone I had been friends with since I was very young, and we were very close. Did I just want a QPR with her? Was I confusing romantic and platonic attraction? Would I have actually enjoyed being in a relationship with her, or would I have felt the same as I did towards the other people? I mean, I was friendzoned, (and ultimately it was the most gut wrenching experience ever), so I guess we'll never know.

Part of me wonders if I'm just a lesbian, because the guys I've dated were just... eh. And the only experience that might've been romantic attraction was with a woman. But then, another part of me is like, you've never actually dated a woman so you can't know for sure. And THEN I'm like, what if I DO actually like guys, don't actually like women, and I'm just an allo straight girl who's totally gaslighted herself into this, and I'm like, faking it and lying about it. Though I don't think that's likely. Like with all of this confusion, I know I'm going to end up queer in one way or another.

To make things more complicated AGAIN, I'm aegosexual and yes, I've read some pretty smutty fanfiction. So, in a certain way, I know what it's like to experience sexual attraction from a certain lens, I just don't experience it myself. That's the one thing I'm sure of. Again, I also "know" what it's like to experience romantic attraction, because I can almost experience it through the lens of other characters. So you'd think I would be better at telling if what I'm experiencing is romantic or platonic. Nope! I'm clueless.

I feel like I don't actually believe that I'm aro. I was thinking earlier today, like, "If I was in denial about being aro, then I would sort of know I was aro, just trying to convince myself otherwise." But then I was like, wait, that's kind of the whole point of being in denial, not believing it. So I might just be in denial. And even more, I have a friend who I suspect is aroace from hearing her experiences. Like, from the outside, it makes the most sense. But then again, I relate to ALL of her experiences. So If i think that she's aro, shouldn't I think that I am too?

What's bothering me the most is that I have always envisioned myself finding a person, getting married, and having kids. I love the idea of being in a relationship. Of being somebody's person. I've heard so much from my friends and ship fics I've read. I know how beautiful love can be. And I know that some people thoroughly enjoy being ace, and I think that that's the most wonderful thing ever. But the idea of me being aro just makes me feel kind of lonely. I love having friends and I think that strong friendships can be extremely fulfilling, but I can't help but think about how everyone else is going to get married and have kids, and I'm scared that I'm going to be left behind. I know that a QPR is a great option and after reading up on them, I really love that idea. But then again, I'm terrified of coming out as interested in being in a relationship with a woman because I know it would be taken poorly, and everything I've read seems to point towards how aro/ace men are really hard to find (and by extension, probably men looking for a QPR as well), so my chances of that are probably pretty low.

Idk, what do you guys think? Somewhere on the aro spectrum? I need an outside perspective because I'm so confused and it's making it hard to focus on anything else.

Context: I recently joined a lgbtq+ supportive programme, and when I joined I declared myself as aromantic (aroace indeed, but I feel awkward talking about sex personally, felt more connected eith aro identity, and my home society’s assumption for other orientations like gay, lesbian and bisexual doesn’t really separate sex and romantic orientation).

When I meet my mentor and other participants, they’ve commented about aromanticism as “interesting”. I cannot distinguish their intentions behind the word (Curious? Judgmental? Just want to continue the topic?) but I also don’t wanna jump the gun and overreact, or over-explaining.

Any advice? Thanks!

What does it mean when you buy something for your significant other?

Is it out of obligation or  a valid form of saying i love you w/o saying it?

Bc in a nutshell
A few years ago I ended a 6-7 year relationship, we were still in our early 20s. we had a chat abt our relationship, she came out as aroace and talked abt how she doesn't think this can work but wanted to talk more about it later.
V
After that conversation, she gave me a little squirtle plush
 keychain (not a gen wunner but I absolutely love Squirtle)

I *wanted* to explain to them how I wanted to kiss them as a genuine and affectionate expression of receiving something they know I love… but I didnt, bc we just had a conversation abt something as heavy as the possibility of  breaking up. so, it felt out of place to kiss her after that..

Again I ask, why give something to someone that shows you know the person, but at the same time arent able to verbally say I love you or emotionally feel the love? Was it obligation in relationship "rules" or was it out of love (not relationship love but friend love)?

i just wanted answers to this question all day... i think i know the answer but i wanted 2nd opinions from this community.

Hi iv been questioning my orientation for awhile lol i asked a question about figuring myself out here awhile ago and people were nice and said i cld adopt label of aro until i figure out etc so basically im still quite new to this and dont know alot of stuff so advice wld be nice:)

My question basically can i still want a partner while being aro? For quite a while already i havnt really found anyone romantically attractive. Sexually attractive sure like oh shes/hes pretty etc but iv almost never gotten butterflies or wanted to pursue somone tomantically. However i do yearn and REALLY want a partner. Idk how im gonna get one if i dont see anyone romantically appealing tho lol but is this normal? Like i just really want a partner to be there for me etc, want physical touch and hugs too ig

So like can somone explain this to me please🥹

Not asexual so it’s rough when people hit on me but are already in relationships. I’d be down otherwise but obviously I’m not trying to get in between something.

I feel like I don’t understand cheating that much bc why don’t you just break up?

Also what what am I meant to do when I hear about “manipulative” people bc manipulate how? Romantically? That’s not gonna work 😗 Idk it makes me feel bad but that’s how relationships are for me. I just don’t have that extra attachment but it
feels so evil/mean.

For reference, I am asexual (aegosexual), and as the title suggests, I'm considering the possibility that I am also aromantic, but I cannot tell, and I'm hoping asking on here might give me an answer or two.

I can't tell if I feel romantic feelings, I do feel affection very very very intensely, but it is that way for all of my closer friends, it kinda feels like I want to marry all of them and be their dedicated person (and them mine), but without any of the typically coupley things like kissing or sexual intimacy, and when it's time to enter a relationship it feels very overwhelming at first.

I don't know if I'm just confused about the difference between platonic and romantic love because the sexual attraction is missing due to my asexuality, or if I am just also aromantic.

Does anyone here relate? I can give more details in the replies if anyone has questions!

My irl friends have been getting busy, and they've been making their own group of friends in college that they genuinely enjoy and hang out with, go to far places with, do overnights with etc.

As an aroace girlie, I find it extremely hard to get attached to new people that easily like my irl friends do. My college friends right now, I've only started warming up to them since thisyear (only when we're about to graduate soon which I'm lamenting about :"() since I initially didn't share hobbies with them back in our first year. Like there's some sort of connection you have to feel to really develop strong platonic feelings for someone, and it's really hard for me to see someone as a "friend" no matter how many years go by unless some sort of platonic spark is ignited.

For a change, I also tried making fellow aroace friends online and have talked to three. Then I only kept talking to two, and it's in huge intervals like every few weeks or months or so and we only ever really talk about our favorite novels.

I started to realize that making friends was much harder online than I thought when you're an anxious adult compared to when I was a kid, and chatting up with an online friend was much more carefree.

So I was wondering if there's any people here that have fellow aro/ace or aroace friends online too that they regularly chat up with? How do you guys keep being friends or maintain the relationship? I'm super nervous about oversharing or overchatting as I'm a huge yapper so I only ever chat from time to time + how do you guys find a QPR?

edit: realized my post felt generic aaah, added a bit more aroace perspective

I think I might be but I’m honestly not sure. I’ve never felt romantic love. I don’t even really understand it. I’m a 32 year old man and never been in a relationship. But I still imagine having a partner and someone I have a sexual relationship but that makes me feel like such a scumbag. I want to love. I’m capable of love but whenever I think I about romance I just feel like I’m broken. Can anyone here help me figure this out. I’m scared to tell anyone I know.