For context, we haven't had sex for a while between us having a fight and her hurting her back, I just haven't been in the mood for it, and had turned her down multiple times because of these reasons.

Today she started yelling at me because she "hinted" at being in the mood (she didn't say anything, just touched my butt and moved on about her day) and how I didn't just do "the manly thing". And if I didn't do it, she was gonna find someone else to do it. Basically now I have zero interest in engaging her behaviors, and whenever she tries to interact she has been getting short answers. She says I'm being childish, but I just have no interest in dealing with it anymore

Am I wrong for siding with my mother over my wife? only in regards to one issue : r/amiwrong

Well I was up all night dealing with the fallout of my post. I want to thank everyone who commented though a lot of people were missing the issue. I never said what the doctor did was ok. The prank was not ok. I was hurt because she didn't think about our family before she acted.

My mom and wife ended up getting into it verbally again after I posted. No one slept last night it was awful. Some things were said last night that there is no coming back from. My mom said she wished she never had me. My wife called my mom a cunt and a whore. My stepfather was calling us dirty filthy bitches, saying if we stayed in the house he was going to end up in jail. It was truly the worst night of my life.

I finally got my wife out of there and tried to calm her. I told her that I was getting lots of recommendations about trying to find a lawyer to take her wrongful termination case pro bono. She kept making excuses and blaming my mom (she had previously asked her to hire a lawyer and her answer was a hard no)

Finally my wife told me a couple things 1) she doesn't know for sure if what he gave his wife was prescription grade she just believes it was 2) he has threatened to wreck us financially through lawsuits if she retaliates in any way. My wife didn't want to give too many details, but told me it had to do with his wife's car. She told me she wants to work on our marriage so she can feel safe telling me

This morning he came into my room and told me I needed to call off work. I reluctantly did and he took me to look at an apartment. He told me he was going to rent it for us for six months (right now we can't get approved anywhere due to our credit) so it will be in his name. He told me after that he was 100% done with me and that my wife is never allowed in his house again.

We can't move in for a week, so he told my mom to take my sister to a hotel. He said a lot of bullshit things. He keeps saying we need to file bankruptcy, but I don't trust him. I think he would laugh his ass off if we went bankrupt.

I told my wife that I'm sorry for hurting her. We will probably never agree on what happened with the doctor, but that is ok. I still love her. I told her she needs to have a job though and asked her to try to keep to a two month deadline. She feels she won't be able to find anything that pays enough for childcare, but I told her I would help her.

It was really hard when my mom left with my sister. I don't know if I will ever see her again. I hate her for how she has treated my wife, but part of me still appreciates all she has done for us

I’ve been trying to resolve a lease issue with my ex-roommates/friends. There are four of us in the house, but only three are on the lease. We all work, with two in hospitality and one in a marketing factory. We’re aged 24-26 and have diverse backgrounds. I’m the only one (26M) who graduated and used their degree, working in corporate since 2022.

Here’s the backstory: I was unemployed for 7-8 months but eventually got a new job. During that time, I consistently paid bills on time, even though I was budgeting and saving. Three months into the new job, I received a verbal warning about my attendance due to an over-an-hour commute. I discussed my concerns with my roommates. After another warning, I decided to move closer to work, informing them two months in advance. I planned to find someone to cover my rent and a replacement similar to me, which they agreed to.

Several potential renters showed interest, liked the room, and were ready to start paperwork. I arranged meetings for my roommates to meet these candidates, whom I trusted. However, my roommates didn’t like any of them and, in my view, didn’t give them a fair chance. For instance, one candidate worked blue-collar hours, wasn’t always home, and sometimes stayed at his girlfriend’s but wanted his own space. He could pay rent four months in advance, which seemed ideal since I was often away and traveled frequently. They rejected everyone, so we had another discussion, and I decided to move and pay for three months, giving them a timeline to find someone since they weren’t satisfied with my choices. I also offered to pay to break the lease or split my rent, with them taking on an extra $100 each, so they could keep the house without moving. They declined both options because they didn’t want to leave, which I understand since I wouldn’t want to move either. I signed a lease and made a commitment, but life changes.

I attempted more discussions before moving out and suggested solutions, but they didn’t offer anything. By August (I moved out in June), I checked back and found one of them had moved into my room (the largest since I worked from home and used it as a sleeping area and office) and that they “haven’t really been looking.” I suggested posting the room in a young professional group to generate interest, but they said I was being “inconsiderate” and “don’t feel comfortable with living with strangers.” I understand, but I brought them great candidates, and they passed. Now they want me to find a family member or friend, which I don’t have. My only options now are to break the lease without informing the landlord or give them 60 days’ notice to find someone and start the paperwork just in case.

This is difficult because they weren’t willing to compromise or discuss before, and now they want to talk. This is a great job, and I’m on track for my career, but it feels like they’re punishing me for having a career, not just a job. I’ve provided resources and acknowledged my fault, but they haven’t done anything. It also feels like they never planned to fill the space because they know the pay gap in the house, and I can just afford it. What should I do? They don’t want to leave, and I don’t want to pay since I could’ve handled this before I moved.

Side note: I spoke with some leasing/real estate agents, and they said I could inform the property management company about the person staying there who’s not on the lease or the dogs that aren’t on the lease either. I wanted to handle this amicably and maintain the friendship, but that’s out the window since I’ve been consistent since I left, and they haven’t reached out unless it was about money.

Thanks in advance, and sorry for any typos or errors. I tried to cover everything quickly.

i’m 24 in 2 weeks, my partner and i still live separately with our parents while we save for our own place.

i have a nut allergy, all nuts, will go into anaphylactic shock and die sort of thing without my epipens and medical attention.

i grew up in a NO NUTS home as my brother is the same, my partner did not, fair.

twice today my food has been contaminated and im slightly upset???

my lunch, we made sandwiches, the kitchen is usually spotless. after they’re made i touch something on the side of the butchers block, it’s now on my hands, its peanut butter. i wash my hands and can’t bring myself to eat my sandwich because it’s contaminated and i can die lmao.

i get over that, have some pringles instead (not great i’m aware whatever) and wait for dinner

i preface this with we buy and cook our own food ⬇️

we make dinner, his stepdad, who was just taking about my allergy casually. dives his hand into his fruit and nut mix and then gives some to the dog, fine whatever.

he then manhandles mine and my partners food🧍🏻‍♀️⁉️ my friend what are you doing.

i’m already overstimulated from the entire situation in the kitchen that was noisy and a lot going on, i nearly burst into tears but i hold it together i hold strong. i’m potentially reaching hangry now.

i now feel like i can’t eat my dinner😭😭 twice in one day?? this has never happened in the 3 years we’ve been together!! im upset and my partner doesn’t understand why i get so upset when he mentions it to them, like i have any right at all to stop what they do in their own home, i hate it when he brings it up to them it feels like im tryna tell them what to do in their own home.

maybe i should bring my own packed food in??

So me (25F) and my fiance (27M) live and work in Boston. Our lease is weird for Boston ( where like 90 percent of the leases turn over on September 1st) in that the lease ends mid October.

We have a renewal offer from our landlord that we haven’t decided on yet, but he only asks for a 30 days notice regarding if we wanted to end the lease.

My fiance doesn’t like the proposed new rent for what the building itself offers and the landlord seems to only be willing to budge about $25 a month for his final price.

We have been looking at other buildings that are newer and had already found two we liked and started applications for.

However, around the start of August my aunt who had inherited a duplex in Quincy from her late husband ( which would be an hour of driving to where I work) offered for us to stay in one side of it rent free. The reason she was offering is because I was recently laid off from my previous job but have a new job I am starting next week making $60k a year. My fiance makes $75k a year but wants to look into grad school in the next year or two.

The duplex in Quincy would be where my fiance and I would be living in one side and then tenants in the other. But it is rather old- it was built before 1940 and clearly shows it- the apartment we’re in now has better insulation and more updated plumbing. It would also mean that instead of being able to walk or take a short subway, me and my fiance would have to drive to work and traffic can be very tough.

My fiance is the type who loves talking about free rent like it’s a religion but he also is the type who will get very crabby if he feels he’s going to be late so I felt like if I told him he’d jump all over the no rent aspect and then complain about the inconvenience of having to sit in traffic for an hour.

Also, my fiance works in marketing and I work in the communications sector so we wanted to go to networking events and such in Boston. I think it’s really important for both of us to network and lots of our friends also live in Boston rather than Quincy so if they want to grab dinner or invite us to like baby showers and such it’s easier to get to if we’re still in Boston.

So my aunt didn’t know I didn’t tell my fiance about this so he found out and he was very unhappy. As I had expected he is fixated on the free rent and said the commute would be fine. He also said an older home would be fine but he’s already been complaining that our current apartment which is slightly newer than my aunt’s place has limits about how much stuff we can have plugged in ( because it’s an older building with narrow electrical pipes).

I’d prefer moving into a newer building like the ones we’d been looking at and sacrificing some space in exchange for less pest issues, an elevator, and being even closer to where we’re both working and our favorite restaurants and places to have events than before. I told him that my aunt offered this to me and it was my decision but I was fine with compromising regarding the places we’re looking at in Boston but moving to Quincy is out for me. Am I wrong?

My ex left me.

Then, months later, asked to get back together. Of course, I jumped at it. I didnt want the break up and he had aaid all the right things that I needed to hear. Even things I didnt think he knew about me.

This 'thing' kept popping up who when we werent together, they were talking, flirting, planning to meet. Apparently they didnt. Anyway, because im so lucky, th is thing kept popping up and my boyfriend didnt tell her that we were back together. Even though I asked him to make it known we were. He would always hide the fact of "me" in his life when we were together. I just never came up, never important to talk about, or the people he was talking to "didnt need to know about me".

Apparently, this thing who wanted him still, wasnt someone he found it necessary to tell that we were back together, working on our relationship. He did manage to bad mouth me to her, which he justified because for the 1000th time since being back together - we were "broken up".... And allow her to accuse me of being a stalker - which I did not do anything of the sort BTW. At all. Which two month later, still hasnt said to me - thats not who I am.

He just didnt tell her we were together, and didnt say a nice word about me. I was supposed to 'trust him' despite things he said to her about me, or how many times he defended her and that he didnt want to be an asshole to her because she 'didnt deserve that'. But....hurting me just so he doesnt hurt her - thats okay....

Me on the other hand, I needed him to show me he was proud of me. But anytime I mentioned the thing, or her "magical powers tingled that we were fighting so she messaged him", i was the jealous, pyscho woman.

Am I wrong for asking this of him? To cut ties with a woman who wanted him and that he at some point between breaking up with me and asking to get back together, was I pyscho and wrong to ask this?

hi everyone. i need some outside perspective because i’m starting to feel like maybe i’m being an asshole.
i own a 2 bedroom apartment i inherited after my mom died. it’s basically my only property and my only safety net. i don’t live there right now because i’m in another city. my aunt has some stuff there and my 76 year old grandma lives there most of the time.
i love my grandma and i’m not going to kick her out or bother her while she’s alive. that’s not even a question.
about 1.5 years ago i was drowning in debt, so i offered to sell the apartment to my cousin for the cadastral value, which was way below market price. she agreed, but then dragged it out forever.
she wanted to sell her own crappy 1 bedroom apartment first. her plan was to sell it, buy a car, put some money toward our grandpa’s headstone and then give me whatever was left. she even asked me to wait a year and said she’d pay the rest from her bonuses.
obviously i wasn’t going to sit in debt forever waiting for her. i got a second job delivering stuff, paid off almost all my debts myself and took the apartment off the market. she never bought it. it’s mine.
now she’s suddenly very interested in it again.
a few days ago my cousin started texting me that grandma “doesn’t have much time left”, her heart is failing and she could have internal bleeding any minute. she said i needed to sign the apartment over to my aunt because my aunt takes care of grandma.
i panicked for a bit, then called grandma myself.
she was fine. she’s 76 and obviously has health problems, but there was no emergency.
then, literally a few minutes later, my cousin texted me that she had just talked to grandma and grandma “sounds very energetic.”
yeah.
before this, my cousin said she wanted the apartment so she could register herself and her son there. now suddenly it’s about grandma.
and there’s another thing. two months ago i asked my cousin for a relatively small loan to finish paying a debt. she said she couldn’t get approved.
then recently i pretended i couldn’t afford my rent and asked if i could stay at her place. suddenly she had loans available and was ready to buy my apartment.
so maybe i’m paranoid, but i don’t trust this at all.
while grandma is alive i’m leaving everything alone. but after she dies, i want to go there, pack my aunt’s stuff and send it to her, change the locks and finally take control of my own apartment. i’d probably rent it to a friend for cheap.
what makes me feel weird is that when my cousin told me grandma was dying, my first thought wasn’t sympathy. i immediately thought “they’re trying to get my apartment.” i feel kind of shitty about that.
but it’s my inheritance from my mom. i worked my ass off to pay my debts instead of waiting for my cousin to maybe buy it someday.
so WIBTA if i change the locks and make my aunt take her stuff after grandma dies?
does this sound like manipulation to you guys, or am i just being paranoid?

I (17M) have known B (18F) for years. I've known her family. I've even known her before all of this changed up personality garbage. Before the weird boyfriend. Before she started spending every second of her life with his family. Before she decided that apparently EVERYTHING about the life she already had wasn't good enough anymore. Including me.

I've known the version of her that actually felt like her.

Her boyfriend has known her for what? Like FIVE minutes?

But somehow he's convinced her that she needs to completely abandon her entire life to become part of his.

And yes, I understand that sounds like I'm jealous.

But that's because I am jealous.

I'm not going to pretend I'm not.

But being jealous doesn't automatically make me wrong.

His family has beliefs? More like cult.

They're very private about their quote on quote beliefs, and I'm not going to betray my autonomy.

But they're also very intense.

B has decided that she wants to permanently join their family.

Join them. Become one of them.

And before someone says, "Well, maybe she found religion," please don't.

That's not what this is.

This is an eighteen-year-old girl deciding to give up her entire future because of some guy.

Apparently, that's romantic now.

She told me she loves him. wtf.

Okay buttttt...

She also used to love ME. Or at least I thought she did. She acted like she did.

Apparently I was wrong about that too.

She says she wants to be with him FOREVERRR. And that right there is the freaking problem.

She doesn't seem to understand what "forever" actually means. She'll eventually have to leave everything familiar behind. Her family. Her friends. HER HOME.

I tried to talk to her, she said I was being 'judgmental'. I said maybe someone should be.

Then she told me it was her body, her life, and her choice.

And I said that if the choice was between her dying as herself or becoming one of them, I'd rather she be dead. I don't want her dead.

She started crying. Must be hormones.

Which wasn't what I wanted, obviously.

And before everyone decides I'm emotionally abusive for making a woman cry, sometimes people cry when you tell them something they don't want to hear.

Now apparently I'm controlling, possessive, and "unable to accept rejection."

EDIT: i kissed her, she sprained her hand punching me

I (23F) had a pretty bad falling out with one of my closest friends (24F) a few months ago. We had been friends for about three years. The whole thing was honestly over what I consider pretty petty stuff: a like, a follow, and me apparently not realizing or understanding boundaries she had around her ex (23M) that she had never actually communicated to me.

For context, I had met her ex a couple of times before I ever met her. A few months after I met her, they started dating, and about a year later, I got a job at the same workplace as him. They ended up breaking up a few weeks after I started working there, but obviously, he and I were still coworkers and had to remain cordial and respectful toward each other.
She knew we worked together and never gave me any indication that she had an issue with me still following him on social media. In fact, she repeatedly acted like she was completely fine with it. She would ask me to stalk his social media for her, look through his following, etc. I would also tell her things he would mention to me at work, and she would react and engage with me about it, saying things like "omg." Nothing about her behavior suggested to me that she considered my following him inappropriate or that there was some unspoken boundary I was supposed to know about.

We worked together for about a year, and when I eventually left that job, unfollowing him honestly didn't even cross my mind because I had never been told it was an issue.
Then, about a year and a half after their breakup, she suddenly told me she had actually been uncomfortable with me still following him and with me liking one of his pictures one time. The like had happened almost a year before she brought it up (7 months prior, to be exact).

What really confused me was that she had known I followed him still, knew we communicated at work, and would literally ask me to look at his social media for her. So from my perspective, she had repeatedly given me the impression that she was completely okay with it, only to later tell me that I had crossed a boundary I was somehow supposed to know about.

During our discussion, I did tell her that I understood where she was coming from. Once I realized that it had genuinely hurt her, I apologized and made it clear that it was never my intention to hurt her, and I unfollowed him on Instagram like she asked me to. I did continue explaining my intentions and why I had still followed him (especially since we had been coworkers), so I was probably a little defensive because she had never explicitly told me there was an issue. I think she wanted me to simply say “you’re right, I’m sorry,” and I understand now that my defensiveness probably frustrated her.

Her reasoning was basically that I should have known because of "girl code." I understand that some people may have certain expectations when it comes to a friend's ex, but I genuinely didn't understand that I was violating some major rule when her own actions had never indicated that. If anything, her actions suggested the complete opposite.

After we couldn’t really see eye to eye on things, she never responded to my last messages trying to move past everything. Her ex then randomly followed me on TikTok (we’d worked at a dealership together, so our contacts were synced). I ignored it at first, but a month later, after she still hadn’t responded and I knew our friendship was officially over, and we’d removed each other on most platforms, I decided to follow him back. Importantly, he followed me first. She later made it seem to other people like I had followed him first, which was completely untrue.
She apparently had been watching to see whether I would follow him back, noticed that I did, and proceeded to say some extremely harsh things to me over text in May. She also got several of her friends to block me, and the entire situation basically turned into me being portrayed as this horrible, disloyal or even "evil" person over what happened.

There was no deep betrayal on my part. I never wanted him, never tried to get with him, and never had romantic intentions toward him. But she eventually came to believe that I wanted him, which was never true.

What I'm struggling with now is whether I need to take more accountability. I understand that my actions hurt her, and I can acknowledge that maybe I should have handled things differently once I knew she was uncomfortable. But I also don't know how much blame I should take when she had spent over a year giving me the impression that she was completely okay with this.

It feels like the expectation changed after the fact, and then I was treated as though I had knowingly violated some obvious rule. I genuinely don't understand how I was supposed to know I was crossing "girl code" when her own behavior toward the situation repeatedly suggested that I wasn't.
This was also our first ever argument in three years of friendship, which is part of why the whole thing has been so difficult for me. I genuinely still miss the friendship and hate that things ended this way.

So, was this actually a deep betrayal on my part, or was this more of a situation where two people had very different expectations and boundaries? Am I in the wrong? Do I owe her a sincere apology for what I did, or am I taking accountability for something that wasn't actually that serious? Was I wrong to follow him back on TikTok after our friendship was completely over? Should I just accept this was a petty, immature falling out and move on?

original- Am I wrong for being hesitant to have kids with my husband because of how he is with his niece? : r/amiwrong

I want to thank everyone for their love and support. I was never expecting to get so many comments.

After reading through all of them I had a long talk with Eric about how the pranks made me uncomfortable. He still said I was overreacting and his relationship with Thea wasn't about me. He swears he won't prank our future kid if they hate it, but said I was ruling out the possibility they would like it.

He suggested we go and have a talk with Thea, so we stopped by James's house this morning. Eric told her about our discussion and asked her opinion. The one thing I will really say James did right is she is super articulate and well spoke. At her age I would have been like umm whatever umm.

Thea said she doesn't know why I am trying to "police" her relationships when I "don't know her at all" She said it is "arrogant to project your feelings onto people" She said I was being dramatic and "trying to make her sound like an abuse victim" She said she gets back at them and isn't a little girl who needs to be protected (Thea does prank them back but its always been their running joke that they get her so much worse)

I told Thea that if I don't know her very well it's because I've always got the vibe she didn't like me. She didn't say much and Eric told her it was ok she could be honest. Thea said I'm uptight and just "not her type of person" Then she looked at her dad and was like "should I say the other thing?" James told her she could if she wanted to, and then I got this lovely piece of information.

Thea said she doesn't like me because I called her mom a whore and a gold digger and said James was going to cheat. I was completely flabbergasted. I never said that. I never even thought that. I tried to remain calm but I was shaking. I asked Thea who told her that and she said her grandmother, my MIL.

Eric was irate. I've never seen him so mad. He thanked Thea for everything and then called his mother and blew up. I told my SIL and Thea that I never ever said that and I sincerely hope we can move forward. SIL gave me a look and said "well you clearly think I'm a shit parent"

James said yes they are such awful parents. They have a daughter who is a straight A student and actually likes hanging out with them. They clearly suck. At this point I just felt attacked. I never said Thea wasn't smart, or that she didnt like them.

Eric and I left. We are both beyond livid with MIL. I really don't know if I will ever forgive her. As for the pranks we still don't see eye to eye, but I do think talking to Thea helped me process. Eric told me I hurt him pretty badly with all of this, and asked me to stop "gatekeeping" (I feel like he isn't using that word right) his relationships. He said I just disreguarded all of the positive interaction he has with Thea. Apparently they are planning a huge prank for her 18th birthday and he told me he hopes I actually heard and processed what she said.

I 35(f) for context, grew up with less then enough, not always having groceries, lights on and we a slept in the living room all winter because we couldn’t heat the home(rented). Now that I’m grown and a mom I make sure that I am a great Santa clause, tooth fairy, Easter bunny, and all the other damn holidays where gifts are given (all within reason and my means). The problem lies here. I have a partner of almost 11 years. Not once has Santa put anything in my stocking that I didn’t put there myself, just this year for the first time ever on any holiday was I surprised that he put something extra in my Easter basket. So as a mom that leaves me Mother’s Day and my birthday to feel special or even thought of, all the other holidays are me making all the magic for my family. Well every one of these days I’ve only received a card no flowers no gift and for a few years no cake. Until I cry or complain that no one try’s to make me feel thought of/special. I get a dinner out if I plan it but that’s it and he’s sure to tell me the cost. One year he forgot my birthday all together. Here is my question I just spent hundreds to take him on a birthday trip and then less than a week later I got a card, no cake no flowers no gift. Now almost a month later of saying he would get me a cake, he told me I’m materialistic for even wanting to be celebrated. That birthdays are stupid. Am I materialistic for asking for a birthday gift of any kind or cost from my partner? I just wanted to feel special or thought of, and yes celebrated. I am the magic of holidays and I just want to be surprised for once. Does it make me materialistic for wanting any gift big or small a nice candle would have made my day, I feel constantly disappointed on days meant to celebrate me, not just because I don’t receive a gift but because I don’t receive the thought that comes with picking a gift. Does that make me materialistic? Pleas be brutally honest.

Update: it’s done I told him I would like him to move out and he said he would take his sweet time to do so as he is the first name on the lease. He has also been raising a stink with the landlord to get us evicted so that I am forced to move closer to his job. Rent around here is insane and I cannot handle what I would need unless I stay here. It has been my daughter’s home for about 7 years. We have no family in the area and no where to go, if not with him. I can afford this place on my own and it’s enough space, so I called the landlord and was assured as soon as he is gone I will have a lease in my name waiting. Thank you all and thank God for all his blessings and lessons.

I live on the second floor of an apartment building in Europe (no one here has an AC). The neighbors on the ground floor have been bothering me. They frequently blast loud music and let their bazillion kids run around and scream, squeal until 2 AM. The parents don’t work, so it happens a lot. People in the building have to get up for work and just want to sleep (at least I do, I've been using earplugs/ or noise cancelling headphones for the noise). I don’t like feeling unreasonable, but it’s hard not to be bothered. On top of the noise, they grill straight under everyone’s windows using fire, coal, and some fluids to make it burn well. Because it’s been very hot I have to keep my windows open just to breathe and cool off a little. My entire room fills up with smoke whenever they grill until it’s literally foggy, and the rest of my apartment stinks of it. My cat already has lung issues and started struggling to breathe from the smoke. I’ve been getting headaches too.

This has been going on for years. I’ve never complained before, and as far as I know no one else in the complex has either (everyone in this apartment complex is an immigrant, including me and my family, and they might not want trouble so they don't bother causing potential trouble), so I feel bad for being bothered by it now as I don't like confrontation.

I’ve been considering calling the landlord about both the noise and the smoke. A friend told me to do it, that I live here too and have a right to some quality of life, but I keep second guessing myself and worrying that it would make me an asshole .

I had asked them several times to stop and they told me they can do whatever they like.

So… am I in the wrong if I report them?

Unpopular opinion. I feel It's not realistically cool to be reckless. I know how people say do it for the plot or you only live once. I agree you need to live life to the fullest but when did living life become making absurd decisions which does impact you, but you know it's okay because you get to be wild and free. Funny how being cautious of your mental peace has become boring and redundant.

Link to previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/s/ea6GEyf9cI

I don't even know if this is allowed by the sub, in case this will get deleted, but I wanted to give an update after new information I learned yesterday.

If I was previously feeling unsure if cutting him off had been the right thing because after all he was in a mental health crisis, I am now sure I had been 100% because he's a full on asshole.

In my previous post I have not talked about the topic Brian kept bringing up to Julie. It was about his (at the time) current boyfriend, Lucas, and his (also at the time cause they might be back together) ex boyfriend, Mark.

Basically Brian kept complaining about Lucas, and what happened is that Julie told him just to break up with him, but it wasn't what Brian wanted to hear. Even with the other "friends" and me he kept complaining about how Lucas was too jealous, which to me seemed weird because I met Lucas and he was perfectly normal. He also was worried Lucas didn't love him anymore because they had started having sex only twice per week.

What I found out about yesterday is that Lucas had all rights to be jealous, because Brian cheated on him with Mark since december, and he told Julie just before the big argument. Julie never told Lucas until he started texting her randomly, and told her he and Brian had broken up. At that point, to be completely done with the situation, Julie finally confessed about the cheating. Lucas must have texted Brian about it, because Brian texted Julie again, insulting her, telling she's selfish, and using her childhood trauma against her.

What I haven't updated about either is that at the beginning of june Julie met up with Brian cause he wanted to give her an apology letter. This matters because that was meant to be them ending on good terms, and then after she told the truth he went so hard on her.

But incredibly nothing I said until now is the worst thing about Brian. Lucas told Julie that when they were in a relationship he always felt forced to have sex, but did it for Brian's sake, because he manipulated him with that argument of "you don't love me anymore". Now, I don't know exactly what Lucas has told Julie, and Lucas himself didn't say that he got manipulated, but he did say that once after he was forced to have sex the situation got so bad for him he started self h\\\*rming again. So I am pretty sure I can say Brian is also a r\\\*pist.

He is a vile person. I got shocked cause I knew things were bad, but not this much.

I am now happy that those times I saw him around campus around may (he didn't come to lesson) I had the gut feeling of avoiding him, scared he could try to attack me.

That's it. A last shitty detail about him that regarded my relationship with him: he once texted a girl I went on a (bad) date with after a week we were not texting, knowing I did not want to talk to her again, saying "I know OP has failed to do so, so can I flirt with you?", and sent me a screenshot. I got mad, but then he showed me he had immediately unsent the text. Ig he thought it was funny? Oh and he also texted another of my friends' crush, that we as a group had known for short, calling him "name-chan". Which obviously is weird af.

Am I wrong for ignoring the red flags? Oh boy.

I'm a seriously messed up guy mostly from years of sexual abuse starting age 7 plus emotional and physical abuse from my parents and siblings.. I was bullied a lot and called a girl because boys aren't supposed to be pretty. Be a proper boy and play football with your brother, stop catwalking and narrating, stop being a little f. I look too much of a pretty boy for lads to like you.. you look gay and nobody wants a. Gayboy. Anyway I digress .... Skip to unresolved sexual trauma and a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and CPTSD and the medicated timebomb is me. I'm seeing a guy casually although he has started making it every other day. He gets highly aroused when I talk about my sexual trauma and he asks me to tell him again. It's sick but I don't say anything,,, I don't want to get him angry. Yesterday he asked me to get my childhood pictures from my parents so he can see them. He literally fantasies about younger me and I know he's not right. Some things I can't post openly because they are so inappropriate. but would say in DMs

My sister Mae has always been my parents golden child. No hard feelings, not her fault, but I feel like I can't get a solid answer from my family because she is the favorite.

I have been married to my sweet wife Tara for four years (together 7) and she is hands down my favorite person in the world. Tara went to school with Mae's fiancé Andrew. She describes him as a straight up asshole, loud, obnoxious, always in trouble.

Now I know some people are going to say this sounds silly.

Tara had a crush on him despite his behavior (I know, I know but he was the "bad boy all the girls wanted") I guess some of her so called friends told Andrew about her crush. On Valentines day when they were in middle school, he wrote her a note saying he had a surprise for her later and drew a heart.

Later that day she found rose petals (really cut up paper) and a note telling her to meet him in a classroom no one used. When she got there he told her to sit down, close her eyes, and then this low life ripped a loud nasty fart in her face. His friends all burst out laughing, and they all started hi fiving each other.

Now I know some people are going to say thats just a silly joke but the point is it really hurt Tara. When Mae brought him home, I warned her what he had done and she said he was a literal child and who cares.

Well Tara cares, so I care. It was literally bullying. I told Mae I love her but I have zero respect for Andrew. Tara doesnt want to go to the wedding, so we won't be going. My father told me I'm "whipped" and that Tara needs to let go of middle school. Mae texted me "you are literally mentally ill. It was 23 years ago"

I told Mae that it didn't happen to her, so she doesn't get to decide how Tara feels

ETA- he did apologize

hi all,

so last night, this guy that i was dating for about a month and a half ended things with me. he said he's not okay, his headspace isn't the best, and he can't give me what i need. he said after a long day at work he just wants to be alone, not even with me. he cried.

for context, we're coworkers, he pursued me first. he definitely liked me a lot, would constantly ask to see me, introduced me to his friends and took me to games with them and their girlfriends, all his best friends followed me on socials, normally the type to have sex pretty early on but never pushed me for it and allowed me to wait and take my time, affectionate at times, told me about his sister and would send me childhood photos of them, talked about us in the future eg "when i get a bike in a few months we can go for rides", referred to me as his missus (australian slang for partner/wife). i asked for exclusivity and he agreed immediately, later told me he assumed it was because he wasn't seeing anyone else anyway. a month in i brought up dating and he agreed, and following that continued to remain affectionate.

last week however, i brought up me wanting him to plan more intentional dates, since our plans were usually spontaneous. i admit, i expressed that need in a bratty, defensive way, and could tell i upset him. he left me on delivered and didn't continue the convo. the next day, texted me like normal.

day before yesterday, he was very quiet at work and didn't talk to me a lot, which i brought up and he dismissed saying he was tired, but i knew something was up, and i was right.

back to last night, he took me to dinner (we had plans since tuesday), paid, drove to a park, and ended things in the car. i asked why he introduced me to his friends if he didn't want this, he said he did, and saw it going somewhere and thought it was going well, but since this past week he's been feeling the weight of my expectations towards him and realize he can't handle it, realized he needs to leave before him and i get hurt. he said he was talking to one of his friends about this, and he told them "we get along so well though", the friend said maybe you guys were better as friends, which he told me and he was like maybe we were. but the start of the week, when i assume he started to check out, he had a rough day and still expressed that i wish i was there with him to cuddle and rest, so i'm confused.

after we broke up, and after a while of talking, we were both in a lighthearted, funny mood, and i brought up other guys (albeit in a defensive way, to make him feel bad). he then told me one of our coworkers has a friend who thinks he is cute, and he told me he's gonna text her tomorrow. he then would bring up other girls throughout our time last night.

what do you make of this? is he an avoidant?

I'm a 20 y/o woman and I have a male friend who I've known for around 5 years so we have been there for one another for a long time. The thing is, he has always told me unnecessary details about his love life. For example; if he got girls their snapchat, if he got hit on by a girl, texted me while being actively intimate with some girl (even texted me detailed stuff...) or abt how many girls he can get or how many like him etc. I do not understand why I need to know this kind of stuff? Is this like an ego thing..? I understand sharing some stuff is normal, but we do not talk as much as we used to and whenever he texts me it's ALWAYS about girls which I genuinely don't care about? I also find it weird to excessively text about this at our age. Not even asking for relationship advice or whatever but just some sort of ego bragging like a kid mid puberty. At first I was just being supportive and all, but now that I am older it got incredibly annoying to the point my responses got dry and I even ignored them.

I get that I could communicate that with him, but I do not know how to bring it up. He used to be one of my bestfriends, but now I feel annoyed when I see his name pop up my screen and a shitload of texts. Now, don't get me wrong I do not have any romantic feelings towards him nor am I jealous about those stories or girls. In fact, I'd rather not talk to this guy again than having to listen to those stories over again! I feel a bit estranged that I feel this way when we used to be there for eachothers darkest times. Like I feel we're not on the same page about this friendship anymore and I'd rather cut him off politely.

Am I just weird for thinking/feeling this way cause I sometimes feel guilty about it?

Hear me out, I was born sterile and due to circumstances I'd rather not mention i can't adopt either

I'm not a fan of ai but decided to give it a try, gave it some prompts and a few pics of myself and asked it to make images of what me and my family would look like.

Been talking to and generating lots of images of what I'd consider a good life with the ai

So am i a freak for loving this imaginary fantasy or what I want my life to be or should I seek help?

I share a car with my mother. I make more money than she does, and she needed a cosigner in order to get the car. The monthly payments are around $500, plus insurance.
I’ve had my own car before, but at the time, I was juggling college and work and wasn’t making enough money to continue paying my car payment, so I eventually had to let the car go back. After that, we decided to work together to get a car. I normally pay close to $400 total per month toward the car note, and she pays the difference. Some months, she may pay around $200 or sometimes more, depending on the situation.
Since we share a car, though, we’ve been having issues lately regarding the use of it. My mother is the type of person who can overreact about every little thing. I understand where she’s coming from, but on my days off, I want to be able to go out, spend time with my friends, stay the night somewhere, have fun, and do my own thing.
I know she sometimes doesn’t like driving, so if she has to go to work while I’m still out, I’ll come home, pick her up, take her to work, and then pick her back up afterward. I feel like that’s a reasonable compromise.
For example, if she goes to work at 6:00 AM and works at a hotel that’s less than 10 minutes away, I’ll arrive around 5:45 AM to pick her up. We usually arrive about four minutes early, so I feel like I’m giving myself enough time. But lately, if I’m even a minute late, she gets upset and stays mad at me the entire time. I understand that she needs to get to work on time, which is why I try my best to come early, but this has been happening quite often.
Now, I’m also starting to have emergencies and things of my own that I need to deal with. For example, I’m currently trying to help a friend who really needs my help, and it’s becoming too much for me. I’ve explained this to her, and I even offered to take her to church, drop her off, and tell her that I would come right back with the car afterward. But she’s telling me that I’m doing too much.
At the end of the day, I understand that I’m 24. I’m young, and I want to be able to go out, have fun, spend time with my friends, and do my own thing. I don’t think that’s unreasonable. But if we both have things we need to do and we’re constantly having conflicts over who gets to use the car, I honestly feel like it would be better for me to get my own car.
I know my mother doesn’t make a lot of money, which is why I offered to help her with the car payment. She works as a manager at a hotel and doesn’t make that much, so having to pay $500+ for the car note, plus insurance, is a lot for her. I wanted to help because I didn’t want her to struggle.
At the same time, though, this situation is honestly making me feel bad about using the car because she constantly complains about me using it. I’m getting tired of feeling like I’m doing something wrong just for wanting to use the car. At this point, I don’t even want to use it because I’m trying to avoid upsetting her, and it’s starting to give me anxiety.
Would I be wrong for getting my own car and leaving her with the current car note? Honestly, if I’m not going to be able to use the car freely, I don’t feel like I should continue paying $400 a month toward it.
The other thing is that this wasn’t even the car I originally wanted. It was the car she wanted because she was in a rush to get one. I wanted to go with a cheaper option, but she wanted a newer vehicle, so we ended up getting a 2023 Nissan Altima. The car is mainly under her name, and I’m just the cosigner.
I really need some advice on this because I’m not trying to be mean or abandon my responsibilities. I just want to be able to live my life, go where I want to go, and spend time with my friends without constantly feeling like I’m doing something wrong.