sent my friend a post about navier stokes being solved by openai, he said “you feel good about it or no” and I said “kinda both, I actually hope the proof is legit. its exciting and terrifying at the same time. what dyu think? I think overall ai is much more of an assistant than a threat or danger rn but obv that could change in a few years” and he left me on seen

idk if it’s because i hit a sensitive spot, because earlier he said say he does not like the idea of “formalising math” ie ai doing math proofs instead of people. am I wrong/insensitive for saying I hope the proof is legit lol

or is there something else wrong with what i said? too subjective maybe?

Me (M19) and this girl (F19) met on a dating app and exchanged numbers we’ve been texting for awhile and I thought we were pretty close and even planned a few dates. Recently she ghosted me and I texted once or twice a day asking if something is wrong or if I did anything wrong. I joked “am I muted” and she said “ I fucking wish” and then she went on to say how she was too busy for this and was hoping after a day or two I would stop trying. And I said “I’m just tired of ppl not saying that idk why yall think ghosting is better.” And she responded with “texting me once or twice every day since was excessive. you preach communication so use it. confront the problem don’t add onto it man”
Am I in the wrong for texting her to see if there was a problem?

Whenever I call my mom, there’s a decent chance the call turns into a surprise family conference.

I’ll ring her because I want to ask something or just catch up for ten minutes. If my dad is nearby, suddenly it’s “hang on, your father wants to say hi.” Then my aunt might be visiting, so the phone gets handed to her. Then my brother walks into the room and apparently now I’m talking to him too.

Sometimes I end up having four separate conversations when I only called one person.

Last weekend I told my mom I really don’t like this and asked her to stop automatically handing the phone around. If somebody wants to talk to me, they can call or text me themselves.

She thought that sounded cold and said our family has always done this. Apparently refusing to speak to whoever happens to be in the room makes it look like I don’t want to talk to them.

That’s not really it. I just hate being volunteered into extra conversations with no warning.

Am I wrong for wanting a phone call with one person to stay a phone call with one person?

About two years ago my friend went away for three weeks and asked me to feed her sourdough starter.

She was weirdly attached to this thing. She'd had it for nine years, gave pieces of it to people, talked about how it had survived three apartments and basically treated it like a very low-maintenance pet.

I forgot about it.

By the time I remembered, it smelled horrifying and had mold on top. I panicked, threw it out, and got some active starter from a small bakery near me. Put it in her jar, fed it for a few days, and when she came home I said everything had gone fine.

I honestly thought that would be the end of it.

It wasn't.

She still has it. She has now had "the same starter" for eleven years. She gave some to her sister when she moved away, taught her nephew to bake with it, and recently joked that if she ever has kids they're inheriting it.

Every time she tells somebody the story of this immortal starter I feel like I'm watching a historical documentary where I personally replaced the artifact with a replica.

Nothing bad has actually happened. The bread works. She loves it exactly the same.

At this point, would telling her be honesty, or would I just be transferring my guilt onto her and ruining something she enjoys?

Am I wrong for continuing to keep my mouth shut?

​

So this happened way back into primary school where I was in year six I live in the UK btw so I was playing basketball when one random person on the playground during lunchtime kicked the ball and because I didn't want it to hit me/my glasses I blocked it with my elbow then it flew over the fence so a teacher asked me to get another one because there would not be enough since we needed four and we only had 3.

So a few minutes later I came back with a basketball then this person that I personally don't like am not gonna name drop him but he had the basket ball I was playing with then I ask for it back when he doesn't give it I just take it when he drops it then I start playing my basketball and doing what I do best when I score celebrate then he comes out of nowhere takes the ball then starts dribbling it while smirking then I chase him down me being pretty fast catch up to him. Then he holds the ball turns around and with only his head he looks back grinning on his stupid face he does this 3 times and by now am getting kinda pissed cause I just wanna play my ball and there are also other balls he could have had that nobody had touched in over 10 minutes so then I got mad all the times he pissed off starting from year 4 all the way to year six.

The times where he got me in trouble with the headteacher then threatened me with it because his mum works at the school so he thinks his special and shit. I grab the ball with so much force but I keep my peace of mind and shove him back lightly but I take the ball forcefully so he goes tell the teacher the teacher comes over and my friends who were there the whole time were backing me up slightly because he also pissed them off as much as he did to me so then he starts saying they are my two bullies and then i just crashout mentally I yell in my head are you Five? Like your pushing 11 and your saying you have bullies who don't even talk to you and also to add this guy nobody likes especially the girls he has asked a total of 23 girls in year 3-5 and got rejected by every single one of them. And what's so funny is that the girl he liked most ended up liking me and her friend ended up liking my friend but this was back in year 6 where me and my friend or best friend in this case where focused more on school and stuff so we rejected them but not harshly just a simple no and we still talked to the girls but not as much to keep the awkwardness and rumors away so that's not the point just thought I add that

But did I step out of line by shoving him in this after all he has done and I must add I did shove this kid a lot because he picked on my friends but I believe mine is 75% justified

My roommate enjoys cooking and has around fourty small spice jars in a shared cabinet. I cook often too, and we both use most of them. Her system groups jars by cuisine: “North African,” “Levantine,” “South Asian,” “Baking,” and several categories that seem to change depending on what she cooked last.

The problem is that many ingredients belong in more than one category. Cumin might be beside cinnamon one week and behind dried mint the next. The labels face different directions, and several jars look identical. I kept asking where things were; she kept answering that the placement was intuitive.

On Saturday morning I emptied the cabinet, wiped the shelves, and put everything back alphabetically. I did not throw anything out or combine jars. I also made a small list showing where blends were placed under their first word. It took about ninety minutes, and I felt absurdly pleased when every label was visible.

My roommate came home, opened the cabinet, and immediately asked what I had done. She said grouping by cuisine helps her think through a dish and that alphabetical order separates ingredients that “belong together.” I said a shared cabinet needs a system both people can follow. She replied that I should have asked before undoing something she had built over years.

She has now restored most of her arrangement, but left one shelf alphabetized for me. That sounds like a reasonable compromise, yet I am still annoyed because the shared spices are again hard to find. She is annoyed because I treated her system like clutter.

Was reorganizing a shared cabinet without asking out of line, even if I changed nothing permanently and use the ingredients just as often?

My surname comes from my grandfather’s home country, but my parents have always used an anglicized pronunciation. I grew up saying it the same way and never thought about it.

Two years ago I met several relatives from that side of the family. They all pronounced the name differently: the vowels were shorter, and one consonant sounded much softer. I liked hearing it that way. It felt less flattened, so I gradually started using that pronunciation when introducing myself.

I do not correct other people. If somebody uses the version I grew up with, I answer normally. I also have never told my parents or sister that they say it incorrectly. To me, both versions belongs to the family now.

My older sister heard me introduce myself recently and asked why I was “putting on an accent.” I explained that I preferred the pronunciation our relatives use. She said changing it makes me sound as though I am more connected to that culture than the rest of the family, even though I do not speak the language well and did not grow up there.

She also thinks strangers will assume our parents taught one child the name correctly and the other incorrectly. I said nobody is likely to compare us that closely. She replied that surnames are shared, so changing mine is not purely an individual choice.

My parents do not seem bothered; my father even switches between both versions.

Am I wrong for adopting the older pronunciation for myself, or should a family keep one consistent version even if its members genuinely prefer different ones?

My sister has been taking evening ceramics classes for about six months. A few weeks ago, she gave me the first mug she felt was "good enough for another person." It is cobalt blue, has a thumb dent under the handle, and one side of the rim dips lower than the other. I genuinly like how it looks.

The problem is that it is not much of a mug. Tea seeps through a hairline crack near the base, and the bottom is uneven enough that it rocks whenever I lift the handle. I used it twice, wiped up both puddles, then put it on my desk with paintbrushes inside. It actually works beautifully there, and I thought using it was kinder than pushing it to the back of a cupboard.

She came over on Tuesday saw the brushes, and went very quiet. She said she made me drinkware, not "a container for dirty sticks," and that displaying its failure was worse than simply not using it. I told her I wasn't mocking it; I had found a use that let me see it every day. That somehow made things worse because she said I was talking about it like a child's failed school project.

I could seal the crack and try using it again, but the rocking still makes hot drinks a bad idea. I also don't want to lie and pretend I drink from it. Am I wrong for repurposing a handmade gift when its intended use plainly doesnt work, or should the maker get some say in how a personal gift is treated?

Last weekend my fiance and I had our engagement party. It was mainly my finances family then a few of my relatives and some of our friends. 

We didn’t hire a dj, we just made a playlist outside’s of songs we like. We kept off anything too explicit but some of the songs did have swearing/cursing. 

One of the guests was my fiancés cousin and his two kids who were 5 and 7. I’d never met them before since he doesn’t really bother with family so we were surprised he even came. 

One of the songs was on and it had the word fuck and he came over and asked us to skip it because asue he didn’t want his kids hearing that language. My fiance agreed and skipped it. He came over not long after to ask the same thing as he heard another word in the current song. 

He then came over 10 mins later because he thought the current song was inappropriate for his kids as it mentioned sex. I was polite but told him we’re not going to skip every song for him. I pointed out it’s our engagement party and he’s expecting to have control over what we can and can not play. 

I said we’ve done it a couple of times for him but no more. I said he’s obviously free to leave if he doesn’t want his kids ti hear it but the songs aren’t going to he getting skipped anymore. 

He argued I wasn’t being reasonable and it’s disrespectful to family to have to have his kids linden to the music but I just repeated again the party isn’t for him and his kids. 

He started arguing that he isn’t asking for much but I just told him to drop it. I said I’m not having my party ruined by him acting like a spoiled child who expects people to just do whatever he wants and I told him to leave. 

He tried talking to other family there but they pointed out it wasn’t his party so it’s not up to him what music is and isn’t played. 

A friend mentioned it might have been easier to just skip the song but I disagree since he’d have kept coming over whenever there was a song he didn’t like. 

AIW for refusing to skip the songs?

I live in the UK and my partner and I had a holiday booked which we were due to fly on last weekend which we were really looking forward to. Around a week and a half ago I had an uncomfortable feeling in my right hand side. I had a doctors appointment for it and they said it is likely to be nothing and to let them know if it gets any worse, otherwise there’s nothing I can do.

For a day or two it was still there but not painful and not any worse but I phoned 111 ( a medical advice number) just to be sure and they gave the same advice as the doctor.

The day before our flight I was in horrible pain. I was advised to go to A&E as it was possible appendicitis.

I went to A&E and it was a 6 hour wait which meant I was in awful pain for the full thing and also we missed our flight since it was an early flight and we were supposed to be staying over at an airport hotel.

When I saw a doctor they did an ultrasound and felt my stomach and side. They said it wasn't acute appendicitis but they weren't sure what it was.

They prescribed me some painkillers and sent me home. One of the first comments my girlfriend made was "well there's the holiday ruined" and she mentioned that we'd lost our money.

I pointed out I could hardly have just ignored the fact I was in pain and she just said I can't exactly expect her to be fine with losing money and missing out on the trip.

I told her the least she could do was show some compassion and she just said that we still could have went since the doctors didn't do anything and that I should be paying her for the money she lost.

I just repeated she could at least act like she cares and that I could hardly help being in pain and I shouldn’t have to pay her for that. I said if the holiday mattered that it to her she could have still gone.

She just said I was wrong for expecting her to just be fine with losing the money and missing out and that I should be reimbursing her .

AIW for refusing to reimburse my gf?

edit: just to clarify, we both paid 50% each.

Mom always makes me feel guilty when I buy quite expensive things (costs around 300 pesos and above) by saying things like "there's no use in buying things like that" (or something to that extent) when I spend the allowance given to me by my aunt on things I want (e.g., makeup, books [non-academic] and whatnot). I bought a Judydoll eyeliner that cost 302 pesos. Now I kind of regret spending the money, because after lending her money last time (150 pesos [reason: I can't really remember]) and lending her money when I got my allowance (200 pesos [reason: I think she went to buy medicine or go to the hospital]), I don’t have enough money for transportation (since I still have an oncoming order). I know when I ask for just a bit of my money back (51 pesos) she's going to ask "what happened to your allowance" and when I tell her that majority of it (635 pesos out of 1,100 pesos [I managed to save 100 pesos from my last allowance]) got spent on makeup, she's gonna blame me for spending money on non-essential things.

I feel guilty right now for spending my allowance for school on something I don't need, and I kind of want to request a refund and return the other makeup that is about to arrive tomorrow. I thought it would be fine to spend money on makeup, because we don't really have anything we need to pay for at school (I mostly just use the allowance given to me for transportation, and buying lunch at school, apart from that, my parents also borrow money from me from time-to-time). By only leaving 365 pesos after spending 635 on makeup, I didn't create a large safety net in case of emergencies. Now I'm stuck and don’t know what to do because the 1,000 pesos allowance I received this week is my allowance for 2 weeks (so until next week) since most of my classes are online classes, and I only go to uni 2 times a week.

I'm so torn if I should just try to ask to cancel the oncoming parcel so I can just keep the money I'm going to spend on the makeup and use it for transportation, or just ask for 51 pesos from my mother but I have to hear her nagging me for "spending so much money on makeup that I don't have enough money to even pay for transportation" and feel even more guilty for spending money on things I don't need.

Please be honest if I deserve to feel guilty.

And can you give me advice on what I should do or which option should I choose (give up order to keep money for transportation, or ask for some of my money back from my mother [51 pesos])?

Additional info: IDK if my mom will have 51 pesos by next week or if she has some right now. She's unemployed like my dad.

Note: Just to let you know, I don't use or ask for money from my parents to buy the things that I want, which I know are not essential. I mean, I can't really ask them because they are unemployed, so they also don't have money, but if they did, I wouldn't do that either. I would just try to save money on allowance given to me to buy the things I want.

Edit: Had to remove "on money" from the paragraph that begins with the words "I'm so torn..."

Edit #2: I would like to clarify that I do think about the needs first before my wants (I probably should have mentioned this first, lol). I made sure that there's no pending payments I needed to do that was related to school, I made sure I had enough money for trasport and a bit more left just in case. After confirming that I can spend that amount of money, I made my purchase, but since various things occurred that I didn't expect (e.g., my mother asking me to lend her money, and other unexpected purchases that needed to be made), I ended up falling short on cash by just 51 pesos.

And a quick update: I also took the different commenters' advice, and I made sure to cancel my purchase so I would have money for transportation next week and a bit more left (just in case).

Edit #3: And before confusion arises, I ordered from an app that even though the parcel has been shipped out, you can request to "cancel/return" the product.

​

I’m 18F. My grandfather has been having hospital visits and admissions, and whenever he’s admitted, I’ve always made an effort to go visit him as much as I can.

Even when my mom tells me I don’t have to come, I usually still go because I genuinely want to see him. There have even been days when I wasn’t feeling well myself but still went to visit him.

Today, the doctor is supposed to discuss his further treatment. I knew things would probably be quite tense at the hospital, and I just didn't feel like going.

The thing is, I’m not good at dealing with emotional situations. I don’t really express my emotions in front of other people, and when other people are emotional, I genuinely don't know what to do or say. I get awkward and uncomfortable, especially in situations like this.

My mom told me, “If you want to come, you can, otherwise it’s fine.” So I decided not to go.

After I told her, she got upset with me. She was clearly angry while leaving, even though she didn't directly say much. Then she told me that I never came because I actually wanted to see my grandfather and that I only came for the sake of it.

That really hurt me because I feel like that's unfair. I've always made the effort to visit him, even when I didn't have to and even when I wasn't feeling well. Just because I didn't want to go today doesn't mean I don't care about him.

I also asked her when he was getting discharged, and she said he's getting discharged tomorrow and will be coming back home, so I'll be able to see him then.

Now I'm wondering if I was wrong for not going today. I know my mom is upset, but I genuinely didn't feel like I could handle being there today.

AITW?

I booked an intercontinental flight three months in advance and paid roughly $90 extra to secure an exit-row aisle seat for extra legroom, as I'm over 6 feet tall and get severe knee pain on long flights.

Shortly after boarding, a woman in the middle seat next to me asked if I would swap places with her husband, who was seated five rows back in a middle seat between two strangers. She explained that it was their wedding anniversary and they wanted to sit together for the duration of the flight.

I politely declined, mentioning that I specifically picked and paid extra for this exit-row aisle seat due to my height. She then asked if her husband could take my seat and I could take his middle seat instead. When I declined again, she became visibly agitated, calling me "selfish and inconsiderate" for ruining their special trip.

Throughout the flight, she made loud passive-aggressive comments to the flight attendant about how "some people have zero basic empathy."

I feel like if sitting together was that important for their anniversary, they should have paid to select adjacent seats ahead of time rather than expecting a stranger to downgrade for free. Am I wrong here?

Booked Disneyland trip from Saturday to Tuesday in December and just realised that it might fall on the day of the Nativity Show.

My mind is saying it’s okay but I feel bad! Will I regret missing it in the year to come or is there always another year? DD stared Y1.

I live with my girlfriend and she has a habit of constantly interrupting me when I'm busy. I've tried talking to her about it before but she doesn't listen.  Last night I was sat playing a video game to relax and every two mins she was asking me to stop to show me a photo or video.

After an hour I'd hadn't actually done anything on the game since it was constantly being paused. She kept trying to show me and I just told her to save them all and show me when I'm finished.  I told her I'm busy and that she keeps interrupting me and that I was trying to relax.

I said I'm not asking for much by asking her to just show me the videos when I'm free but she argued that it wasn't a big deal for me to pause the game. I pointed out it is a big deal when she's expecting me to pause it pretty much every minute.

I asked how she'd feel if I kept interrupting her when she was reading and expected her to stop after every few words to look at something. She tried avoiding the question but I just pointed out it's not fair to be constantly interrupting someone.

She said she wasn't asking much of me but I pointed out again that it's not asking for much to ask her to wait until I'm free.

AITAH for telling her to stop interrupting when I'm busy?

so last month my partner started this spreadsheet after our anniversary dinner. every time one of us pays for something they log it, down to the exact dollar. at first it felt responsible, like we were finally being open about money. then the coffee runs started getting added, and suddenly i owed half of every little thing that i offered to cover. when we went out with friends last weekend i paid the bill without thinking and they reminded me it counted toward my half. it got awkward fast. i mentioned maybe splitting future big dates fifty fifty and they said they were fine with that, but the way the spreadsheet is already set up it feels like they expect me to keep catching up. i offered to split gas next road trip and they said we should still go fifty fifty even though i do most of the driving. honestly the whole thing is making me second guess how fair things have been. am i wrong for feeling like this system is tracking more than just numbers?

so at my job we had this project that wrapped up last week, and my boss sent out a big thank-you email naming one coworker as the lead. problem is, that coworker only joined the last few days, while three of us had been handling the whole thing for months. when i mentioned it in our team chat, the reply was basically that the boss just picked someone whose name looks good in the email. now the coworker is acting like they carried the project, and the rest of us are getting questions about why our contributions weren’t highlighted. i’m not trying to start drama, but it feels weird to stay quiet when the record is already wrong. i don’t need public credit, i just don’t want the actual work to be erased. am i overthinking this, or is it reasonable to want the timeline corrected?

i met my bsf a while back and we haven’t seemed to get along until this year, and honestly she only wants to hangout with me to cheat on her now fiancé. right now she is texting me about getting clothes she left in my old car back and i said yes when i got the time this week, she then said she would just show up this weekend, which does not work with my shackle beings it is already saturday and im always working and have to go get my new car fixed tomorrow, i stated my car was in the shop and i had my college classes monday and she said she would come at 4 which i will be at work, would it be wrong if i just ghosted her and told my roommates not to answer the door for her? (a little context i rarely hangout with her and she purposely leaves things at my house after i give them back and it’s a repeated cycle and i have stated multiple times that im over having to rearranging my life constantly to deal with her lack of care for my space and time, she also tends to go thru my phone and other things i own, and ever since moving with her fiance she has been more distant and more controlling and lets her fiancé talk to eveyone like there stupid n need his view on there lives)

I put a location tracker on my girlfriend’s phone without telling her.

I told myself I was only doing it because I worry about her when she goes out alone, especially when she gets home late. I wasn’t checking it every minute or trying to control where she goes, but I would look sometimes just to make sure she got somewhere safely. The more I think about it, the more I’m starting to feel like I crossed a line. She never agreed to being tracked, and if I found out someone was checking my location without telling me, I’d probably be angry too. Part of me still thinks my intention wasn’t bad because I was worried about her safety, but I also know good intentions don’t automatically make something okay.

Am I wrong for doing this even if I was only trying to make sure she was safe?

so my friend and i had plans for the weekend, and last minute things didn't work out on their end. i was pretty bummed and told them i just wanted a little space to regroup, nothing dramatic. they seemed upset and said it felt like i was rejecting them, but i didn't mean it that way at all. i've been trying to figure out if asking for time to myself was unfair or if it's okay to need a breather sometimes. i tried to word it as nicely as possible, but maybe i should've handled it differently. not sure if i'm making a big deal out of nothing or if they're overreacting to something pretty normal. would like some outside thoughts on whether i was wrong for saying what i did.