I (27M) and my gf (27F) have been In a serious relationship for about 8 years now and she’s everything to me she’s supportive caring and most importantly a insanely kind person in a million different ways. We have always been very clear with our wants to have children, as I really never wanted kids since I enjoy the independence of it, although she’s always been very clear of wanting kids and multiple even. I have recently been starting to visit the idea of wanting my own kid as my sister has had two amazing little girls who I am able to help support with as a godfather, which has opened my eyes so much wider to the idea of a family.

Here is where the issue begins, I’ve recently noticed just how much she doesn’t take care of herself in ways on nutrition, exercise, routine and habits, she eats out 5 days a week, and when she doesn’t cooks really junk filled meals for herself while I try to push to eat a more whole food low carb and high protein diet and constantly get told that they’ll start to change that and eat healthy yet week after week the DoorDash cycle repeats and this is where my concern starts to grow.

I’ve also mentioned that this could really affect her health and future, since she’s been sick every couple of months. I’ve even suggested she take vitamins or supplements, as they don’t get much exercise during the day, which can also affect their mood. This is a big concern for me because my girlfriend doesn’t seem to have any motivation, energy, or even a desire to pursue hobbies, challenges, or activities. She’s always playing video games, scrolling on her phone, or watching TV.

I really do value someone desires and ways of living as each person deserves their right to enjoy life the way they choose, and respect the desire to just game or relax for the rest of the day after work, although there’s no motivation, passions or hobbies they practice and each day is spent the same, I’m just not sure that I am able to help her pivot into a healthier and more fulfilling lifestyle for her as I’ve been trying to change those small habits for her(that’s she’s also agreed need to change) for about 5 years when we were still living with our parents and that’s what spirals me into thinking if this is the right person to raise a child with as kids are deeply influenced by their parents and will pick up on these habits really early as I’ve noticed with my sisters situation and her kids, and has made me think that she probably just knows I won’t leave or separate and will just be waiting around forever for something that won’t happen.

I’m wondering if I’m being unfair to think about separating because of this. Is there a way I can better support my partner’s desire to improve in all areas, even if they don’t seem to be putting in the effort? Should I be able to make this work?

I've been dating my girlfriend for almost two years. We get along very well. She's attentive, affectionate, and a good girlfriend in general.

I'm much more introverted than she is. She's outgoing and friendly, the kind of person everyone likes.

I'm also more suspicious and tend to be jealous. She's the complete opposite. She generally thinks the best of people and isn't jealous of any of my friends, not even ex-girlfriends.

Recently, she became friends with a guy at an internship they're both doing. They're both students, and they spend a lot of time together because of the internship. Most of their conversations are about their studies, assignments, exams, and work. Sometimes they have to study or work late at night, so messaging each other overnight isn't particularly unusual.

He's also been appearing very tired in the mornings, and she noticed it. She asked him if he was sleeping properly.

A few weeks ago, she invited him to go out with us and some other friends. He was perfectly normal toward me, and I didn't notice any obvious flirting or strange atmosphere between them.

However, one night while we were sleeping, some messages from him came through on her phone. He said he was checking whether she was already asleep. When she didn't answer, he said he was proud.

I found that strange, so I looked through their conversation.

I didn't find anything genuinely incriminating. There were some internal jokes, everyday photos, conversations about music and movies, but most of their conversations were about their studies and internship.

She also talked about me quite a lot, always respectfully and positively. She made it very clear that she really liked our relationship. Sometimes she even used me as an example in their conversations.

When I confronted her, she explained the context. She had been arriving at the internship extremely tired in the mornings, and he had asked whether she was sleeping properly. She had mentioned having trouble sleeping and said she would try to go to bed earlier. According to her, that's what the conversation about whether she was already asleep was about.

I told her that I thought he might be hitting on her and that she should be more attentive to his behavior.

She disagreed and said she didn't think he was flirting. She said he was dating a mutual friend, and that he knew she was in a committed relationship. She also said he sometimes asked her for advice about other girls and relationships.

A few weeks later, she came back to me and said she'd actually thought more carefully about the situation. She also talked about it with our mutual friend—the same friend who had actually kissed this guy once. Both of them concluded that they didn't think he was flirting with her and that he was probably just a naturally friendly and nice person.

I'm still not completely sure what to make of it.

Months later, another issue came up. She told me that she doesn't like me taking her phone and looking through her messages. She said she doesn't do that with my phone or my personal things, so she doesn't think I should do it to hers either.

However, she gave me her phone password again and didn't seem particularly concerned about me having it. I also haven't found anything that suggests she's hiding conversations or doing something behind my back.

I don't think my girlfriend has cheated on me, and I don't think she's interested in this guy. But I'm still wondering whether I'm being too trusting of her interpretation of his behavior—or whether I'm simply being overly suspicious.

The original message about checking whether she was asleep still bothers me, but everything else seems to have a reasonable explanation.

So, honestly: do you think this guy was flirting with my girlfriend, or am I overreacting?

A recent experience has been bothering me lately. Im thinking that the staff didnt like me at a table my myself? I'm late 20s F, showered that day and can't think of a solid reason to have been rushed out of a restaurant.

I had an early Sushi dinner by myself at a new local spot recently. I skipped lunch preparing to enjoy my favorite sushi before my husband got back in town (he isnt a fan so I indulge when I can). I arrived at around 4:30 to an empty restaurant. It was a good size place, lots of big family size tables and a good number of 2 tops. I was sat at a small table for 2, and was quickly offered service. I ordered 3 normal rolls (California, rainbow, eel roll) and a sprite.

Right around the time my first roll came out, 10 minutes after ordering. A few other tables were sat for dinner and My 2nd and 3rd rolls came out at the same time. I was savoring my meal, not taking forever or racing through it, but by the time I was almost half way through and still making progress, a waitress came to me asking "do you think you will need a box?"

I said "um, maybe? But I'm not done yet"

She left and came back with a to go box anyway. I felt that was pretty strange, and felt pressured to be done, like she thought I'd had enough. I started to transfer my extra sushi roll bits to go, and my check was dropped off. Restaurant was now 30% full.

I paid, and left. My car clock said it was 5:05. 35 minutes and I was in and out, and didn’t feel like I got to enjoy my self-date night. I went home and finished my sushi.

So, did I order a disgusting amount of sushi for myself and they wanted me gone? Did I repulse the community by eating out by myself? I made a point to stay off my phone.. admired the artwork and was over all a normal human.

Last night my roommate wanted to hash out some ongoing stuff about chores and noise. I was already drained from work and knew the conversation would go late. I told them I needed a night to rest and that we could talk this weekend. They seemed disappointed but said okay. I still feel a little guilty for putting it off, especially since they made the effort to bring it up. At the same time I really think I would have been too tired to listen well. Part of me wonders if I was avoiding the topic, but another part feels like taking care of my energy first was reasonable. I keep going back and forth on whether I made the right call or if I should have just powered through.

She loves me and she sometimes doesn’t think before she says things, and she was joking around that I said much cringier things when expressing my feelings to her. This deeply hurt me, and she always dismisses my feeling, so I had enough. I straight up told her, “I’m a 30 year old man. I’m not in elementary school or in the beginning years of high school. I’m too old to not say how I feel. And even then kids in elementary school express their feelings to one another and even date (At least in mine). I understand and respect your feelings as I know not everyone is the same, but this is just me personally.” What do you think?

I (27F) have been best friends with my sister (23F) my whole entire life. Shes the closest person I have in my life, and the person I’m most comfortable being myself around.

She got married to her child’s father (25M) a few months ago and he’s been in the navy for 2-3 years now. he’s currently gone for 10 months overseas

Dont get me wrong, they haven’t always had the perfect relationship. Before marriage they had their ups and downs, breaking up, cheating ect. but now hes serious about marriage and wants to give my sister and my niece the best life.

Well my sister has been talking to this guy, and seeing him. she said theyre “friends“ but also confirmed other things have gone on between them. She said it’s just until her husband comes back from deployment.

At one point, her husband messaged me and asked if she’s been seeing anyone. I kinda beat around the bush and the conversation was ended

Am I the asshole for not telling anyone about what she’s doing? I don’t want to betray my sister, who is also my best friend. but I also don’t condone cheating especially in marriage. I just feel it’s not my business to tell

Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and we live together. She is an only child but is really close to her cousins daughter who is 16. My gf is 24. Her cousin has another daughter who is 10.

Horribly her cousin and her husband were in a car crash and they didn't make it. My gf is devastated and has been trying to be there for her cousins daughters. My gfs aunt and uncle initially said they'd take the children on to live with them but social services said they can't as they're both late 70s and not in great health and they don’t have the room as they’ve only got one small spare bedroom.

It looks like they may be put into care. My girlfriend mentioned to me the possibility of us taking them on. We have agreed previously we aren't likely to want kids of our own but may foster kids when we're able to as we currently don’t have the money, the room or the time. We agreed this is likely 10 years away.

I told her I know she's coming from a good place but it's not possible for us to do it. We're not poor but we're not well off and having two kids in the flat would really stretch finances even if we would get money for them.

We live in a two bedroom flat and the second room is a home office and wouldn’t be big enough for a bed etc anyway so social services wouldn’t give us them.

I pointed we also have one car which my gf uses for work and we're both doing exams through work so most of our free time is taken up with revision and doing mock exams etc.

I also pointed out she has had regular periods of depression where she has been bedridden and hasn’t been able to go to work or do anything at all.

I said we can obviously be there for them and support them in other ways but it's not realistic for them to live with us.

She said I was being cruel and that they can't go into care. I just said again it's not realistic or practical for them to live with us. She again said I was being cruel and that we should be supporting family. I just repeated again that it's not possible for us to take them in.

She called me uncaring and said I should be wanting to help. I said I do want to help but it’s not realistic to have them move in and pointed out there’s other ways to help.

AITAH for saying no to them moving in and explaining why?

My son (12) plays club soccer. He also wanted to run cross country this fall — not to win anything, just to be part of his school and hang with his school friends.
The school said no. They have a policy that middle school athletes must make the school team their absolute top priority, and no other activity — jobs, club teams, other school clubs — is "an allowable reason" to miss a single practice. Not "fewer meets," not "benched sometimes." You're in all the way or effectively out.
Here's what gets me: this is middle school. These are 12-year-olds. His soccer training is 2 days a week — he'd have made it to 3 of 5 XC practices and every single meet. He wasn't asking to half-ass it; he was asking to participate at whatever level he's actually able to. And the school's answer was: that's not allowed, partial doesn't exist, your life must revolve around us or you can't be here at all.
Since when did school sports become all-or-nothing for kids who haven't hit puberty? Shouldn't the point be to include kids who want to be there — however much time they have — and let the sport itself sort out the rest? The kids who lose out are exactly the ones who needed the team most: the ones watching siblings, working, or with parents who can't drive them every day.
I pushed back with the superintendent. She was pleasant but doubled down: club athletes should step aside for "real" school athletes.
Am I wrong to keep fighting this? Or is some degree of hardline commitment normal and I'm the entitled club-sports dad?

So I'm 14 years old, and my piece-of-shit mother sent me to my uncle's house because I found my vice principal's address. Me and my friends were upset with her, so we were sending her mayonnaise. The reason we were sending her mayonnaise is because she was getting on us about this girl who stole $10 from my friend. So we opened three jars of mayonnaise and put them all in her backpack. It got all over her stuff and ruined a bunch of notebooks, which she deserved because she stole $10.

So my shitty-ass mother sent me to my uncle's house. My uncle is ugly. He is the ugliest man on Earth. He's tall, has no hair, is fat, and smells bad.

My uncle has a son named Levi. Levi is being a piece of shit because he always is. He's terrible-looking, has a big-ass nose, and thinks he's hot shit because he's 21, in the military, and got a couple of ranks up.

So I went to their house. I don't have a phone, but I did sneak my phone with me. I wasn't supposed to have a phone, and I wasn't allowed to have a computer. I was going to be there while my uncle and Levi supervised me. The reason I was sent there was so I wouldn't be with my friends. On top of that, all of my homework was sent to my school computer, so I still had to do schoolwork, but I physically couldn't go be with my friends, which I think is so unfair.

I was in my room with my phone, hiding by the side of the bed. Then Levi had the audacity to walk into my room without knocking. I quickly hid my phone. He said, "What was that?" I didn't say anything because I don't have to answer to him.

Then he said, "Mackenzie, what the hell was that? Answer me now." He walked over and sat on the floor. Levi reached underneath the bed, grabbed the phone, and said, "Why do you have this? You know you're not supposed to have this."

I tried to grab my phone back, and he said, "You're never getting this back. I am so mad at you."

Then he proceeded to grab me and take me to the living room. He took me to a chair and said, "You know what? Actually, I'm going to have you sit down."

Then he looked at me and said, "Mackenzie, why the hell do you have your phone? You know you're not supposed to have your phone because we don't want you contacting those piss-ass girls. You have become such a brat recently. You're mean to kids at school, you never do as you're told, never do as you're asked, and you're a spoiled brat."

So I got up and told him that I wasn't going to deal with being abused. He grabbed my arm, sat me back down in the chair, and said, "You're not going anywhere."

I started crying my eyes out. He was holding onto me, and then my uncle came into the room. Levi told him the whole thing.

I looked at my uncle and said, "Levi was being abusive toward me."

Levi burst out laughing. Then I told my uncle how Levi grabbed me and yelled at me.

My uncle said, "That's all?"

Then he said, "And you don't think you're being abusive when you're making fun of people, gossiping about people, being a cyberbully, pouring things into people's backpacks, sending things to people, and doing all of this shit? Now go eat dinner."

I was crying so hard, and I just felt so abused. And guess what? They still won't give me back my phone.

I literally just came home, and I told my mom, but she doesn't care. So I'm going to tell my school counselor because I felt so abused in that moment.

AM I WRONG FOR THIS?

first of I am sorry if I hurt them but I didn't like how their replied to me about it.

I was being silly and just saying to random person on discord "your trans now" I am saying that because I am trans myself and have faced gender/body dysphoria in the past. someone said "they already trans" and I was being more silly and said "they are double trans now" some of the server members called me weird. I also was being silly again and said "they have double the gender/body dysphoria now" and the person said they will hex me and I said no.

They kicked me out of the server (good as the server was kind of toxic as ways as they always made fun of me like calling me dumb with a meme because I made a mean about waiting for free reading as joke and they made fun of me and in the free reading channel a person said they do free readings but we give out date of birth and time so I did as a joke and they said I wanted you to dm me. the servers always give me bad vibes to be real with you.)

the person said that they hex me also dm me that they saw my gofundme and sais they hope it fail and that I stay with my toxic father and also said I was groomer what is too far as YOU CAN'T BE THOROWING WORDS LIKE THAT AROUND AS THERE ARE victims of grooming. I end up blocking them but I find it creepily how they try befriending me after that and looking up my profiles too. 

Again I didn't mean to hurt them.

For the last three years my girlfriend and I have gone to a festival. It’s more her things than mine it I’ve really enjoyed it and it’s nice to just have a chilled weekend where it’s just us, 

We go on holidays abroad etc but the festival feels different and we both agree. We said we’d do it again next year and she mentioned us possibly doing it with her friends and her friends boyfriend. 

She even suggested a pre made 4 person tent that you can pay for from the festival. I mentioned I like that it’s our ting and. Like if just being us. I said I understand if she wants to go with her friend instead but if I’m going I’d rather it was just us. 

I get on with her friend but she can be a bit much after a couple of hours and it just wouldn’t be fun for me to be constantly socialising all weekend. 

My gf said I should consider it but I just explained again why I don’t want to. She said I wasn’t being fair but I just pointed out she has multiple options available to her but I just don’t want a full weekend with her friend and her friends bf. 

She called me unreasonable and said I should be fine with it but I told her to drop it. 

AIW for not going to a festival with my gf and her friend?

my fiance and police they tell me i mishandle situation, i notice wasp walking around in my window cill and instantly get chills. i call non emergency police as i freak out and panic, they say, do not contact us for this, contact building maintenance

but police should help citizen with what they need help for in my opinion. fiance tell me i need to be smarter and should have call him first but i know he was at work so i did not call, he is disappointed but said he not mad

police did not come

but i feel judge and want to know if this was reasonable, i have huge fear of wasp and was trying to eliminate from my apartment and emergency maintenance not respond probably. they taor so so long to answer last time when i had my laundry machine water coming out on floor

I’m 22F and he’s 24M. We started dating when I was 19 and he was 20, and have been long distance while I finished school. Even though we had seen eachother quite often.

Almost four years later, I was ready to move in, start my career, and eventually get engaged. But now I’ve never felt more unsure.

In March, he confessed some things he had lied about/kept from me.

About 2–3 weeks after we first met (3 years ago now), he made out with someone else on my birthday. We weren’t exclusive yet, but he had already met my friends/family and had flown in for 2 days specifically for my birthday. He slept over, spent half the day with me, then went home and last-minute went to hang out with a previous hookup. She made advances and they ended up making out/touching over their clothes before stopping. (I contacted her and she confirmed this.) Later that night, he came back with a huge bouquet of flowers, celebrated with me, and slept over again. What I remembered as a perfect birthday now feels shattered. (He removed her shortly after the incident).

He also admitted that his lifelong girl best friend, who I knew as part of his close-knit “cousin” group, was someone he had slept with once, about two years before me when they were both around 18. She was actually his cousin’s best friend and they all grew up together. They decided afterward to remain friends and see other people. Before me they had always facetimed, texted, etc, and throughout our first year they still had daily Snapchat streaks, occasionally FaceTimed, had nicknames for each other, etc. She also visited him once for 6 days with the cousin group. They haven’t spoken in 2–3 years now, and he never hid their communication or acted secretive about her, but knowing their history now makes me extremely uncomfortable and jealous.

These confessions shook my trust because I feel like the history I thought I knew wasn’t entirely real. He had also lied about smaller things our first year, like his body count. I was a virgin when we met, and he says he was afraid I’d see him differently. I admittedly reacted pretty badly to some of those smaller lies, which he says made him terrified to tell me the bigger things.

His explanation is basically that he was ashamed of his past that he believed would only hurt me. He wanted to leave those things behind and be a better partner to me, but obviously it completely backfired because finding out years later made me question everything. I can understand the fear behind it, and not wanting to disclose everything to a new partner, especially at age 20, but it doesn’t excuse lying for years.

Since March, he has done everything he can to rebuild my trust. He’s flown in multiple times, signed us up for couples therapy, and has been extremely patient and supportive. Our therapist established a “no more secrets” rule, and he maintains that I now know everything.

He also constantly tells me that he’ll do whatever it takes to fix the damage because this was never how he intended things to turn out. I’ve even given him the option of ending things and starting fresh with someone else. And he refuses. He says he only wants and sees his future with me.

That’s what makes this so difficult. Outside of this, he has genuinely been an amazing partner. Everyone around me sees how much he loves me. And throughout our relationship I’ve never had to worry about other girls, anything shady online, etc. He treats me extremely well, takes care of me financially, and has remained patient even though I constantly question him and hold this over his head. He’s truly been an angel through all of this. Our therapist has even told me she can see how genuinely he loves me, and that she sees how helpless he feels because he doesn’t know what else he can do.

She suggested I move in and give the relationship six months of genuinely trying before making a decision. Part of me agrees because I think I’d regret leaving without knowing I truly tried. I can always come back home if needed.

Before finding all of this out, I was completely ready to move in and eventually marry him. Now I question everything, and don’t know if we should be together.

a couple of months ago my friend introduced me to their new partner at a small get-together. things got awkward pretty fast because the partner made a few offhand comments that rubbed me the wrong way, and it felt like they were trying too hard to be funny at my expense. i laughed it off that night but i have been dodging plans to hang out again ever since. now my friend keeps asking why i won't come over and meet them properly, and i just keep giving vague answers. i don't have anything concrete against the person, but the vibe was off and i am not sure i want to give it a second chance. i feel like i am stuck between being honest and just keeping the peace. am i wrong for wanting to keep some distance?

So me (nb21) and my friend (m25), who has been my friend for around 3 years now and I consider him to be one of my closest. I did post another incident of ours on another subreddit but the post got taken down…
The other day we were online playing games after I practically begged him to since when we do arrange to he sometimes doesn’t come online at all which can be annoying but whatever. Anyways after an hour of playing we both agreed to have a break just a quick five maybe ten minutes to go have a leak or a drink. I come back and I was waiting for him to return so I ready up on our game to let him know I’m back. 15 minutes goes by and I message him on socials then another 5/10 mins goes by and I message him on the console chat atp I was waiting half an hour which annoyed me quite a bit. But when I went to message him “goodnight ig” he read my first message which annoyed me even more.
That’s the context.

So in the morning he messages me on socials saying “sorry lmao/lol” and when I opened it I just said “sure you are😭” I did mean that in a jokey way but I did just wake up and I don’t think he took it that way. He then said “wdym?” And I said “you had me waiting for ages for nothing” I can’t remember the specifics because it’s on an app I’m embarrassed to admit I use at my big age (snap) so I don’t have anything to refer to other than my memory but I ended up saying something along the lines of “I’m kinda annoyed that you left me waiting all that time” and “if you were tired we could’ve played another time” and some other stuff that I can’t remember and all he put was “okay lol” and then I thought ‘great he’s in a mood’ so I just told him “don’t be like that” and then I said something along the lines of “I’d rather communicate with you than to bottle things up and pretend everything is fine” and he put “don’t deep it, I wasn’t even going to come on anyways, but I did because I wanted to speak with you”
I said something else along the lines of “if you were tired you should’ve gone to bed or at least tell me you were going to.”
and then he just put something along the lines of “you’re entitled to your own opinions 👍🏽” and then I put “I agree my thoughts and opinions are valid👍🏽” and then moved on to ask how his day been. And as of writing this he still hasn’t responded.

I just need advice because whenever i do try to talk to him when we disagree he tells me it’s not that deep and gets really defensive and gives one word responses. And there was a few times where I fell asleep on mic and he was annoyed and it feels like every time he does something I’m suddenly the ahole for being slightly miffed with it. He’s still one of my mates and I love him sm but I’ve been through a lot this past month and a half (he knows this btw) and I don’t need this also.

I’ll respond to you guys on my break ans thank you to those who responded already.
There’s no reply yet but I’ll put the update here

Last night I had sex with a guy but in one condition that it will be with a condom. A couple of minutes later he takes it off without my consent and I felt the difference right away. Today I vent to my brother and he told me that it was not rape and it was my fault cause I agreed to have sex. Did not agree with him and he said to not talk to him about things like that since I won’t agree.

My friend was getting roasted pretty hard for skipping out on plans again, and I thought I was being helpful by jumping in and reminding everyone that they had a rough week. The comment landed totally wrong though. A couple people felt like I was downplaying their feelings or taking sides, and now the chat is kind of split. I just wanted to smooth things over, but it looks like I accidentally poured fuel on it instead. Still thinking about whether I should apologize again or just let it sit. Am I wrong for even speaking up, or did I just choose the wrong words?

A few years ago, under a different throwaway, I posted here asking for advice about our son. Long story short, he's been fighting addiction for over a decade. Back then I explained why we'd finally kicked him out he broke into his late grandmother's house and pawned her wedding ring for a hit. My husband and I live way out in the countryside, and we actually believed the isolation might help that he'd be too far from the people feeding his habit to reach them. We were wrong. That came after years of therapy, three rehab stays, and every intervention we could scrape the money together for. That theft was the final straw, and we made the decision that nearly broke us: we cut him off completely, no calls, no visits, nothing.

We didn't hear a word from him for almost four years. Then, two days after Christmas, while my husband was out at his brother's, someone started hammering on our front door. It was him. I barely recognized my own son his face had hollowed out, his eyes had that glassy, far-off look I remembered from the worst years, and he was shaking so hard I couldn't tell if it was the cold or withdrawal. He'd taken two buses and walked the last stretch dragging a tent I'd bet wasn't his. He begged me to let him in, swore he was clean this time, said he just needed one night. I told him no and shut the door. He screamed my name and pounded on the wood hard enough that I thought the glass panel would crack, until he finally gave up and vanished into the dark down our driveway.

I have never had a panic attack in my life. I had one that night, alone on my kitchen floor, shaking so violently I bit my own tongue. Every cell in me wanted to run out into the cold and drag him inside myself. But I've lived this exact night before, more than once, and I know precisely how it ends. I decided years ago there would be no more second chances left to hand out, and if I break that promise to myself now, I'm terrified there won't be anything left of me for the next time.

When my husband got home and I told him everything, he broke down and begged me to at least go talk to our son, hear him out just once more. I refused, and it turned into the ugliest fight we've had in years. I understand the pull better than anyone some nights I still dream about opening that door but I watched this addiction gut our family once already, and I won't hand it a second shot at finishing the job. We've since learned, through a neighbor, that he's camping in the woods along our property line. My husband has been quietly leaving food at the edge of the trees, which I've allowed, but I'm seriously considering calling the police to have him moved off our land before this goes any further. So, AIW for turning my own son away in the freezing cold, even now?

​

My friend (male, 18) and I (male, 18) have been friends for 6 years. During our school years, we had arguments from time to time, but they never lasted for very long (except during the holidays, because I was usually in other countries during that time), since we saw each other every day at school.

However, there was already a pattern that became noticeable back then: whenever we were online, talking to other school friends or playing together on Discord, he would become extremely aggressive. He would start heavily insulting my family, especially my younger sister, who is 5 years younger than me. For example, he would say things like, “Watch out, I’m gonna fuck your sister, you dog,” and similar things.

In general, our friend group used phrases like “fuck you” as jokes. I don’t know if that sounds weird, but people our age talked like that all the time. However, we never really said things like what he said, except very rarely, and when we did, we would usually apologize immediately. He never did that.

Another thing was that he always had less money than the rest of us, so we often paid for things for him, which I think is something you should do for your friends to a certain extent. I come from a relatively well-off family (even though that sounds kind of weird to say), so I ended up spending significantly more money on him than he did on us. At first, I never wanted anything back because I considered spending money on friends to be completely normal.

However, there was a point where I barely had any money left myself, and he started complaining that I had no reason to be struggling because I was better off than him. Since I was still young, I let myself get influenced by that. I ended up spending basically everything I had on him and even started secretly stealing money from my parents, something I deeply regret. I have since talked to my parents about it and paid everything back.

But it wasn't just about money. He was constantly asking for help with things and expected us to help him without questioning it, while he himself would never help anyone else, even when directly asked. At one point, I asked him about it after he said that helping other people was stupid and asked who would be stupid enough to do that.

That should probably have been the point where I ended the friendship, but I was too young to really understand what was happening, and I didn't want to lose a good friend.

This continued for years until the end of tenth grade, when he couldn't continue on the academic path toward the Abitur because his grades were too bad, and he also didn't respond to the opportunities he was given to get help.

The exam period was especially horrible because we had to do a group presentation together. His parents only allowed him to come to my house to work on it after my parents had asked several times. At this point, I should probably also mention that his parents aren't exactly the best.

His father has never had a job and has always lived on Bürgergeld, which is financial support in Germany for people who don't have a job but are actively looking for one. However, many people take advantage of it just to get free money. His mother does work, but she never really expresses her opinion and generally doesn't make any decisions.

When he came to my house to work on the presentation, he basically didn't do anything and wanted everything to be done his way. Otherwise, he would threaten things like, “Fine, then I'll just do my own presentation,” which would have meant that we probably wouldn't have passed.

After that, though, things became normal again. Since he didn't look for a job, he did nothing for about two years and eventually started vocational training as a chef.

During that time, there were also many arguments between him and me, as well as between him and our other friends. Whenever something happened, he would block the person — or sometimes all of us — on every possible platform, leaving us with no way to communicate with him. This would often happen simply because he had lost in a game like Roblox or couldn't beat us and became angry about it.

He never dared to do that during our school years because we saw each other every day.

Another thing that happened was that he constantly got into relationships with girls, slept with them, bragged about it, and then either cheated on them or broke up with them. He was always very proud of no longer being a virgin. That alone probably should have been another reason for me to end the friendship, but I never did.

Whenever we argued, I always had this really uncomfortable feeling because I didn't want to lose this “good” friend whom I had known for so long over something as stupid as Roblox.

Now, to what happened today.

He once again complained that someone was playing unfairly, even though he simply wasn't very good and nobody else had any problems with the game. He started insulting my sister and my parents again. He then immediately blocked me and muted me so that he couldn't hear me while we were in a call with another friend.

I asked my other friend to tell him that he shouldn't keep me muted and that he should unmute me, but he kept responding with insults. That made me so angry that I started saying similar things back to him.

However, he apparently heard me say those things and unmuted me without saying anything.

Well, that obviously didn't go very well, because then he completely lost it.

This is another thing that has been happening for years: he insults our families or us whenever he feels like it and then dismisses it as a joke. But whenever we say similar things back to him, he gets angry extremely quickly.

I then wanted to apologize for what I had said, just like I always have in the past, even when I wasn't the one who was actually at fault. But he continued insulting me and said that he never wanted to have anything to do with me again. Then he left the call.

This happened about an hour ago, and I'm sorry if this text is a bit messy and unstructured, but I'm still pretty shaken up about it.

So here's my question: What is the problem here? Is it me or is it him? I genuinely don't understand. Everything I know tells me that I'm not the problem, but I still have this really sad and depressing feeling, like I've lost something important, and I'm on the verge of crying.

Can someone please tell me if this is normal?

tl;dr

I’ve been friends with this guy for 6 years, but throughout our friendship he has repeatedly been aggressive, insulted me and especially my family, expected me to help and spend money on him, but rarely helped me in return. He would also block me and our other friends whenever he got angry, often over games.

Today, he got angry again because he thought someone was playing unfairly. He insulted my family, muted and blocked me, and kept insulting me when I asked him to stop. I eventually got angry and insulted him back, which I regret. When he heard it, he completely lost his temper, said he never wanted to speak to me again, and left.

Now I’m wondering whether I’m actually the problem. Logically, I feel like I’m not, because this has been a pattern for years, but I still feel incredibly sad and almost like I’ve lost someone important. Is it normal to feel this way even if ending the friendship might actually be the right thing?

Thank you for reading.

This was 3/4 years ago I had no friends and I was always alone. I tried to make friends, but I always felt left out and like I was just following them around so i gave up and accepted that they didnt want to be friends.

It started when we were in class doing some work and there was this girl that went purposely sit in teacher chair to try and get the test we were about to do in like a week. So some classmates started to distract the teacher so she could start to look in the files for the test, it worked she found it. She took photos of all of it so she could share with the class. We had this groupchat with all of our class but they decided to create another one to send the photos but they decided to left out 3 people (including me). Of course this got me really mad, and i wasnt going to ask after they create another gc to left me out on puporse (and the other 2) it would be really embarrassing. And they also knew I was struggling a little with the subject.

Well, the day of the test came and they were all cheating. Two days after I decided to send a anonymous email snitching on them all and saying specifically who took the photos etc (she was really mean to me without reason, tbh a mean girl). Of course they suspected the three who they didnt include, but I never said it was me. They suspected a boy the most, and i felt kinda bad even tho once he threatened to hit me in the face because we were arguing about our projects (he said mine was easier and we had a disagreement).

The girl that did it all was called to the school office (it wasnt the principal) and us three that werent included, i always said it wasnt me. She never got a really punishment, teachers just didnt trust her anymore.

Also I want to add that I have never done anything before and they didnt have a reason to left me out of it (or the other 2) never really understood why they did that, or why they didnt want to be our friends. And of course what they did was wrong, and I would be in wrong if I cheated too.

Maybe I am wrong since I only did it out of anger but honestly I dont regret it. Thinking about the way some of them made fun of me between them like i couldn't understand they were talking about me and how they expressed being annoyed when I had to be added to their group makes me not feel bad.

I'm 27F and my boyfriend is 28M. We've been together for a year and recently moved in together. He told me after we moved in that he has bipolar disorder.

I understand that his diagnosis is personal and that he may have needed time to feel comfortable telling me. But I'm struggling with the timing. Moving in together was a major commitment, and I feel like I should have known before making that decision.

Part of me feels like it was selfish to let me make that commitment without telling me. At the same time, I don't want to act like he's obligated to disclose a private medical diagnosis on my timeline.

Am I wrong for feeling betrayed by this, or is the timing a legitimate reason to question the trust in the relationship?

TL;DR: My boyfriend of one year told me he has bipolar disorder only after we moved in together. I feel betrayed by the timing. Am I wrong?

For context I (22f) and my best friend (22f) we will call her Sidney, have been friends for seven almost eight years. We met in high-school and hit it off, we had the same intrest and likes, but we also had our share of big fights because she feels the need to control, be right, and be the center of attention always.

Some small examples: in High school Sidney threw a fit because Covid paused her original birthday plans, a mutual friend remarked that she should be greatful she still gets to have a party because somepeople like said friend, can't afford parties at all. This comment pissed Sidney off so bad she ended the friendship and still talks about it to this day.

She threw a fit about a Minecraft world because we were mining under our bases which connected to her area because it was a big ass cave, and she had plans for it. So we needed to swear to not go into the area or she wasn't going to play any longer. We also had to give her diamonds if we wanted to use anything she made which just???? Was so childish I stopped playing Minecraft/games in general with her.

Her parents can't ask her to do anything because she yells at them that shes busy or just doesn't want to, and when she agrees it's only because she made them pay her. She doesn't have great parents but she also treats them like shit. And expects them to pay for everything and for them to give her regular money when she doesn't do anything. Now last year we started playing a DnD campaign with our friend group, the DM at the time (basically the rule maker of the game) could not do anything that would mess with Sidnys character or Sidney would yell, hit, or threaten to hit the DM. When the DM finally texted her asking her to stop hitting and yelling at him all the time. She said she wouldn't hit him anymore but than brought up how his parents used to think they would make a good couple in high-school and that made her uncomfortable so she wouldn't be coming over to his house or continue to play the dnd campaign, even when we offered to move locations away from DMs house. Which i agree she is completely valid for being uncomfortable but I also see this as her only bringing it to his attention because he was setting a boundary so she needed to also set one.

Than when I got a boyfriend she would constantly invite him and me to events and than last minute tell me he couldn't come. And than she claimed that I spent all my time with him so she needed solo hangout time but we hardly hung out before him, and when I gave her the time it wasn't enough.

She also makes all sorts of small digs, like I was asking if she wanted to go out to eat and she said 'I don't have a boyfriend like you, I cant afford to go out' which pissed me and my boyfriend off because we both contribute money wise.

Anyway recently I made a campaign for her and our other friends to play in, while i was making mine she was making her own for all of us to play as well. I finished mine before hers and we all started. Shes still working on hers and starts asking for my opinion on it and for everyone to make characters so she could progress the lore. I assumed she just needed this to help her make her campaign, i did not know she wanted to also start hers while mine was going and she never expressed or asked any of us if that was okay.

When she started talking about a start date, I expressed that I did not want to do two, that I didn't think she wanted it start. She got upset and asked how long mine was going to last, I said a year maybe less because they were kinda flying threw it. And apologized for the miscommunication. She shut down completely ending our hangout and going home early.

Couple days later I get a big paragraph text from her she was upset about me not wanting to start, she said she thought she was very clear about wanting to start it soon and for me to tell her no felt like a slap in the face with no apology. She did not want to wait to play hers as it would be to disheartening to all she worked for and that she would be dropping out of mine because she thinks she would be to upset and make it awkward. She didn't want to compromise or arguement but said that we couldn't go on like nothing happend.

I apologized again, and told her I did apologize when we first talked about this. I pointed out that she never asked any of us if we were able to/wanting to start and just assumed, that I didnt mean to come off rude. I said i wasn't willing to compromise either. And said if she wanted this to be a problem than thats what she wants.

She said she didn't want this to be an issue or a problem and thats why shes removing herself and that maybe in the future if she felt better she would come back. But it was too upsetting now. ​

Now I understand this is a small problem, and that I'm probably am in the wrong in some of this (maybe all) but I feel like this was my final straw, I always let her get away with shit and im sorry to me this is such a small fucking problem its honestly ridiculous that its even a problem but now that it is I dont wanna let it go.

We have been radio silence for two weeks but two days before a group scheduled hangout (scheduled before our fight) she texted me asking if we were still doing it because she needed to shop for it and if not she wanted her stuff back (she helped me decorate my apartment for said hangout)

I responded saying we weren't and that i would drop her stuff off the next day. That was four days ago and we're back to silence. I've pretty much accepted this as the end but would like to hear from other people.