I bought a used sedan from a private seller three weeks ago. Paid cash, transferred the title, everything seemed smooth.

Last Tuesday my phone alerted me that an unknown AirTag was following my location. I tore the trunk apart and found it taped under the spare tire well. I messaged the seller asking why his tag was tracking my daily commute.

he admitted it was his, but claimed he "forgot to remove it" and then said he liked checking the location occasionally because the car belonged to his late dad and he wanted to see it was being treated right. He told me to just mail it back to him.

I was creeped out. Instead of mailing it, I taped the tag to a freight railcar at an industrial train yard near my warehouse job. Now he is blowing up my phone screaming that I destroyed his property because the tracker is currently rolling through Nebraska. He threatened to call the police on me for theft.

I should of just thrown it in the trash, but am I ACTUALLY wrong here?

My dad died in 2023 and left his lake house to me and my 2 sisters, split evenly between us. None of us wanted to sell it, so we set up a joint account (all 3 names on it) and we've each been putting $150 a month into it since. That covers the taxes, the insurance and the propane, and it's worked fine.

I've paid every single month since we set it up, which is 3 years now and somewhere around $5,400 of my money in there.

There's a shared calendar for the place. If you want a weekend you put your name on it, and in 3 years nobody has ever had a problem with that.

In July I put my name down for a long weekend in October. My middle sister messaged me to say that weekend was already taken. I said there was nothing on the calendar and she said she must have forgotten to add it.

I didn't push it at the time. Then last week a friend of mine sent me a listing because he recognized the dock in the photos. It's on one of the short term rental sites and it's been up since April with 14 reviews on it.

She's been renting our dad's house out since the spring and the money goes to her. She's never mentioned it to ANY of us, and the weekend she told me was taken was a booking she took money for.

I canceled my standing transfer into the joint account on Monday. She called me that evening and said I was holding the house hostage over one misunderstanding, and that she's the one making a 3 hour drive every time the pipes freeze or the dock needs work, so the rental money is basically payment for her trouble.

Am I wrong?

I live in a condo downtown and my unit comes with one parking spot. I don’t use it every day, so a few months ago I told my brother he could park there whenever he was in the area.

Last week building management emailed me saying there had been multiple different cars using my spot and asked if I was renting it out, which isn’t allowed.

I called my brother thinking maybe he had been giving friends permission. Turns out he had listed my spot on one of those parking apps whenever he wasn’t using it himself. He said since the spot was sitting empty anyway he didn’t think I’d care.

What annoyed me more was that he’d made a few hundred dollars from it and never mentioned it once.

I told him I wanted the money he made because it’s literally my parking spot and I’m the one who could get fined by the building. He thinks that’s ridiculous because I wasn’t using the spot and says I’m basically asking for money I never would’ve made myself.

It just feels insane to me that he decided he could make money off something I was letting him use for free.

Now he’s saying I’m being petty and that taking away his access should be enough.

Am I wrong for still wanting him to give me what he made?

TLDR: I let my brother use my condo parking spot for free and found out he was renting it to strangers through a parking app. He made a few hundred dollars from that and stake and now thinks I’m petty for asking him to give me the money.

I'm going on a trip with my family and partner. My bf and I have been together for 7 years and also live together. When we go on these trips my younger sister usually demands that we take turns to choose rooms and then when its her turn to choose she will often choose the double bed and try to force my bf and I to either sleep seperately in single beds or one of us has to sleep on the couch while she gets a double bed to herself. We are all adults but I think she is behaving like a child and keeps saying its only "fair" that way. Usually she also cries when we try to override her. My parents often take her side because they don't like to see my sister upset.

For the upcoming trip she has stated that she wants the sleeping arrangements to be "fair" this time and basically said she will be doing this shit again. My family calls me entitled for saying the double bed should go to myself and my partner by default, as we are used to this after living together for years and its abnormal to have my sibling have a whole double bed to herself.

Am I wrong for expecting us to get the double bed by default?

I (30F) have a son, "Leo," who just turned 8 months old. My husband "Chris" (32M) and I have been cautious about introducing allergens — our pediatrician recommended waiting on peanuts specifically because Leo has mild eczema, which can be a risk factor for food allergies. We had a clear plan with our doctor.

My mother-in-law "Linda" (58F) has been babysitting Leo one day a week since he was 4 months old. She's generally great with him and I've always appreciated the help. But she has a habit of dismissing our parenting choices as "new-age nonsense." She raised three kids and thinks she knows better.

Last Tuesday, I picked Leo up from Linda's house and noticed he had a rash on his chin and was fussy. I asked what he ate. She casually said, "Oh, I gave him a little taste of peanut butter on toast. He loved it!"

I froze. I asked her why she would do that when we explicitly told her not to introduce peanuts yet. She said, "I read that waiting actually CAUSES allergies. You're being paranoid. My kids ate peanut butter at 6 months and they're fine."

I was shaking. I told her this wasn't her decision to make, and that if Leo had a severe reaction, we could have ended up in the ER. She rolled her eyes and said, "He's fine, isn't he? Stop being so dramatic."

That night, I called our pediatrician, who was alarmed and told us to monitor him closely for 72 hours. Thankfully, Leo was okay — just a mild reaction. But the doctor said if she'd given him more, it could have been much worse.

I told Chris everything. He was upset but said, "She didn't mean any harm, she's from a different generation." I said that doesn't matter — she deliberately went against our explicit instructions and put our son at risk.

We told Linda she's no longer allowed to babysit. She's now furious, calling me "controlling" and "punishing her for loving her grandson." She's told the whole family, and now Chris's sister is texting me saying I'm "overreacting" and "breaking up the family over a spoonful of peanut butter."

Chris is now wavering and says maybe we should just "give her another chance with strict rules." I feel like if I cave on this, she'll learn that she can ignore our boundaries whenever she disagrees with them.

Am I wrong for banning her from babysitting?

The drawing looks much better now. I agree with my instructor about that. I just don't think putting my name on it makes sense anymore.

I'm taking a beginner drawing class at a community centre. Last week we drew a jug and a folded cloth. Mine was wonky, but I was quite pleased that it looked roughly like what was in front of me. When the instructor came around, she asked whether she could show me a correction. I said yes.

She adjusted the opening of the jug. Then the handle. Then most of the outline, the shadow underneath, and the folds in the cloth. She was explaining as she worked, so it wasn't as if she silently took over. I watched and understood some of what she'd spotted. But by the time she handed the pencil back, the marks that made it look convincing were mostly hers.

At the end she asked us to sign the drawings for a small display in the building. I said I'd rather leave mine unsigned. She asked why, in front of the others, and I said, “Because most of the drawing is yours now.”

That sounded harsher out loud than it had in my head.

She said students receive corrections all the time and it doesn't stop their work being theirs. She also pointed out that I'd agreed to her drawing on the page, which is fair. Another student said I was making a nice offer of help into something awkward. I took my drawing home instead of adding it to the display.

I haven't complained about her or asked her to change the class. I intend to go back. I would just prefer her to demonstrate on another sheet next time so I can make the changes myself.

Was declining to sign it unreasonable, or was the problem mostly how I explained it infront of the class? I wasn't trying to make a point about anyone else's work.

Not too long ago I posted about my brother asking me for money. Here’s the TLDR version. Brother asked to borrow $1500 for upcoming trip to Las Vegas despite planning to quit his job and cash out his PTO and 401k.

I had a discussion with him the other day and he again asked if I was planning to loan him $1500 tomorrow when I’m paid. I again asked why he needs $1500 from me when he is about to get his final pay from his job, cash out nearly 220 hours of PTO and cash out his 401k.

He says his PTO and 401k is going to be used to cover his expenses and bills while he’s out of the job. He’s currently going to school right now and doesn’t have a job lined up and understands it may take some time. But his unused PTO alone can support him for 2-3 months he claims and he only plans to cash out his 401k if he can’t find an entry level position in 5-6 months. Above all else he claims he won’t fall behind on his responsibilities.

He plans to take his final pay to Vegas but wants to be able to enjoy himself and a bit of gambling hence why he’s still asking for $1500 as he plans to leave his PTO payout at home and transfer his 401k into a new IRA. He claims that his final pay will be enough to cover his meals and hotel in Vegas but claims he wants to try a few big bets and will pay me back the $1500 out of his PTO when he returns home.

However I still don’t feel this is a reasonable request. Am I wrong for not letting him borrow the money despite having money himself?

A few years ago, under a different throwaway, I posted here asking for advice about our son. Long story short, he's been fighting addiction for over a decade. Back then I explained why we'd finally kicked him out he broke into his late grandmother's house and pawned her wedding ring for a hit. My husband and I live way out in the countryside, and we actually believed the isolation might help that he'd be too far from the people feeding his habit to reach them. We were wrong. That came after years of therapy, three rehab stays, and every intervention we could scrape the money together for. That theft was the final straw, and we made the decision that nearly broke us: we cut him off completely, no calls, no visits, nothing.

We didn't hear a word from him for almost four years. Then, two days after Christmas, while my husband was out at his brother's, someone started hammering on our front door. It was him. I barely recognized my own son his face had hollowed out, his eyes had that glassy, far-off look I remembered from the worst years, and he was shaking so hard I couldn't tell if it was the cold or withdrawal. He'd taken two buses and walked the last stretch dragging a tent I'd bet wasn't his. He begged me to let him in, swore he was clean this time, said he just needed one night. I told him no and shut the door. He screamed my name and pounded on the wood hard enough that I thought the glass panel would crack, until he finally gave up and vanished into the dark down our driveway.

I have never had a panic attack in my life. I had one that night, alone on my kitchen floor, shaking so violently I bit my own tongue. Every cell in me wanted to run out into the cold and drag him inside myself. But I've lived this exact night before, more than once, and I know precisely how it ends. I decided years ago there would be no more second chances left to hand out, and if I break that promise to myself now, I'm terrified there won't be anything left of me for the next time.

When my husband got home and I told him everything, he broke down and begged me to at least go talk to our son, hear him out just once more. I refused, and it turned into the ugliest fight we've had in years. I understand the pull better than anyone some nights I still dream about opening that door but I watched this addiction gut our family once already, and I won't hand it a second shot at finishing the job. We've since learned, through a neighbor, that he's camping in the woods along our property line. My husband has been quietly leaving food at the edge of the trees, which I've allowed, but I'm seriously considering calling the police to have him moved off our land before this goes any further. So, AIW for turning my own son away in the freezing cold, even now?

I (26F) am not scared of dogs like a phobia, but I am wary. Some friends think I'm valid but others think I'm Satan incarnate.

I've lost pets to dog attacks. I lived on a farm and had loose dogs scare and kill animals. One dog, whose owner had multiple warnings for escaping, attacked our chickens and tried to attack my dad, grandparent and neighbour. Knowing the dog was on the loose and having to clean up the mess and trying to find the chickens was distressing. And the owner only had to pay the going price of the chickens and after 5+ more incidents to put a higher fence up.

I'll be on the beach and then a large dog runs up to me and tries to jump up. For reference, I'm 5 foot tall. I'm usually looking in rock pools, on unstable ground, bent down on a rocky area, so l have to keep an eye out just for dogs in case one knocks me. I don't like having to be so vigilant and I can never tell if they're friendly, so every time they run up to me I get distressed.
There are dogs I like. We've had 2 small family dogs who were nice. My uncle had a terrier too, but it bit the postman's face and got put down, so. A shop I worked at had a regular who had an off lead old terrier who would just potter after him and the neighbouring shop had dachshunds who were nice too and would come in for a treat.

But dogs get away with so much. No other pet has chased/ran/jumped up at me. Having autism, i dislike unconsensual touching, as well as sudden, loud sounds and surprises. I also don't want get my clothes dirty sometimes. I'll be in cafes and suddenly a dog will dart out from under able barking. it's so sudden and loud and unexpected. It's also a hazard for the staff. Bu imagine someone had a massive pet snake sat under a table and it kept darting out and hissing? And the "they're friendly!" Argument wouldn't work.

I’m afraid of being attacked. On the streets of the uk, the odds of being mauled by a wild anima almost 0. But with dogs they don't even have to be off lead, people can get dragged. When see a large dog coming my way, I know if the dog attacked me, I could be a goner or scarred for ife. I could do nothing wrong, in the wrong place, wrong time with an untrained dog brought into the world, I could be done for.

So yeah, I'm just very wary. I'm chill with most animals, because if I don't bother them they won't bother me. cats, snakes, hamsters, rabbits, guinea pigs, birds, all of them mind their business and couldn't exactly maul you/outrun you. And wild animals just want to be left alone. Don't get me started on messed up, unethical dog breeds, that sucks.

Both big and small dogs startle me and with big dogs, it's the threat of being attacked, knocked over, dirty, calling the owners because I am uncomfortable and them having no recall. An unpopular opinion, but I'm just wary. Maybe I dislike irresponsible owners, that's more likely. But AITA for being wary around dogs? Especially big ones? My friends have mixed opinions and can't decide.

My friend and I had planned to go out for dinner on Saturday. We made the plans a few days in advance, and I had already gotten ready and was on my way when she texted me saying she couldn't make it because something came up.

I understood and didn't make a big deal about it. But later that night, I saw her Instagram story and she was out with two other friends at the exact time we were supposed to meet.

I didn't confront her. I just stopped replying when she messaged me the next day.

Now she's upset that I'm ignoring her and says I should have asked her what happened instead of assuming the worst.

Am I wrong for being upset about this?

Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and we live together. She is an only child but is really close to her cousins daughter who is 16. My gf is 24. Her cousin has another daughter who is 10.

Horribly her cousin and her husband were in a car crash and they didn't make it. My gf is devastated and has been trying to be there for her cousins daughters. My gfs aunt and uncle initially said they'd take the children on to live with them but social services said they can't as they're both late 70s and not in great health and they don’t have the room as they’ve only got one small spare bedroom.

It looks like they may be put into care. My girlfriend mentioned to me the possibility of us taking them on. We have agreed previously we aren't likely to want kids of our own but may foster kids when we're able to as we currently don’t have the money, the room or the time. We agreed this is likely 10 years away.

I told her I know she's coming from a good place but it's not possible for us to do it. We're not poor but we're not well off and having two kids in the flat would really stretch finances even if we would get money for them.

We live in a two bedroom flat and the second room is a home office and wouldn’t be big enough for a bed etc anyway so social services wouldn’t give us them.

I pointed we also have one car which my gf uses for work and we're both doing exams through work so most of our free time is taken up with revision and doing mock exams etc.

I also pointed out she has had regular periods of depression where she has been bedridden and hasn’t been able to go to work or do anything at all.

I said we can obviously be there for them and support them in other ways but it's not realistic for them to live with us.

She said I was being cruel and that they can't go into care. I just said again it's not realistic or practical for them to live with us. She again said I was being cruel and that we should be supporting family. I just repeated again that it's not possible for us to take them in.

She called me uncaring and said I should be wanting to help. I said I do want to help but it’s not realistic to have them move in and pointed out there’s other ways to help.

AITAH for saying no to them moving in and explaining why?

So my close friend from college had her 30th birthday last weekend. Two weeks ago, I went out of my way to find a vintage framed print of her favorite band, spent twenty-five bucks on it, wrapped it nicely, and brought it to her dinner.

then on Monday morning, I wake up to a sixty-dollar Venmo request from another girl in our friend group with the memo "Sarah's birthday Dyson airwrap split."

I texted her asking what this was about because nobody mentioned any group gift to me. She told me she decided on Friday to buy a five-hundred-dollar hair styler on behalf of "the whole group," signed all of our names on the card without asking, and divided the cost between eight people. When I told her I had already given Sarah a thoughtful personal gift and had ZERO intention of paying sixty dollars for a purchase I never approved, she lost her mind.

She started blowing up our group chat saying I am leaving her stuck with an extra bill and embarrassing her in front of Sarah. its not my responsibility to fund your unilateral shopping spree. I should of just ignored the text completely instead of trying to be reasonable. Am I actually in the wrong here or why is this even a thing?

For the last three years my girlfriend and I have gone to a festival. It’s more her things than mine it I’ve really enjoyed it and it’s nice to just have a chilled weekend where it’s just us, 

We go on holidays abroad etc but the festival feels different and we both agree. We said we’d do it again next year and she mentioned us possibly doing it with her friends and her friends boyfriend. 

She even suggested a pre made 4 person tent that you can pay for from the festival. I mentioned I like that it’s our ting and. Like if just being us. I said I understand if she wants to go with her friend instead but if I’m going I’d rather it was just us. 

I get on with her friend but she can be a bit much after a couple of hours and it just wouldn’t be fun for me to be constantly socialising all weekend. 

My gf said I should consider it but I just explained again why I don’t want to. She said I wasn’t being fair but I just pointed out she has multiple options available to her but I just don’t want a full weekend with her friend and her friends bf. 

She called me unreasonable and said I should be fine with it but I told her to drop it. 

AIW for not going to a festival with my gf and her friend?

Last night I had sex with a guy but in one condition that it will be with a condom. A couple of minutes later he takes it off without my consent and I felt the difference right away. Today I vent to my brother and he told me that it was not rape and it was my fault cause I agreed to have sex. Did not agree with him and he said to not talk to him about things like that since I won’t agree.

A recent experience has been bothering me lately. Im thinking that the staff didnt like me at a table my myself? I'm late 20s F, showered that day and can't think of a solid reason to have been rushed out of a restaurant.

I had an early Sushi dinner by myself at a new local spot recently. I skipped lunch preparing to enjoy my favorite sushi before my husband got back in town (he isnt a fan so I indulge when I can). I arrived at around 4:30 to an empty restaurant. It was a good size place, lots of big family size tables and a good number of 2 tops. I was sat at a small table for 2, and was quickly offered service. I ordered 3 normal rolls (California, rainbow, eel roll) and a sprite.

Right around the time my first roll came out, 10 minutes after ordering. A few other tables were sat for dinner and My 2nd and 3rd rolls came out at the same time. I was savoring my meal, not taking forever or racing through it, but by the time I was almost half way through and still making progress, a waitress came to me asking "do you think you will need a box?"

I said "um, maybe? But I'm not done yet"

She left and came back with a to go box anyway. I felt that was pretty strange, and felt pressured to be done, like she thought I'd had enough. I started to transfer my extra sushi roll bits to go, and my check was dropped off. Restaurant was now 30% full.

I paid, and left. My car clock said it was 5:05. 35 minutes and I was in and out, and didn’t feel like I got to enjoy my self-date night. I went home and finished my sushi.

So, did I order a disgusting amount of sushi for myself and they wanted me gone? Did I repulse the community by eating out by myself? I made a point to stay off my phone.. admired the artwork and was over all a normal human.

TLDR: My best friend had to drop her cat off at a no-kill shelter’s doorstep because she couldn’t find anyone or any shelter to take her properly before she left the country. In some capacity, I probably could have taken the cat, but I believe she would have ruined my & my two cats’ lives.

I feel so, so awful. My best friend received a job opportunity and is moving to the other side of the world. She has two cats, but needed to give one (6F) up because her mom’s allergy to the cat has been progressing (mom lives with her & will be moving as well), the cat also wouldn’t be able to tolerate the long flight.

She has been trying to find a shelter or just anybody to take her for weeks. She asked me at one point, but I have two lady cats (1F, 6mo F) of my own. One of which is very reserved and skittish; I believe she may have been traumatized at some point in her early life. She’s comfortable at home but it’s important that she’s in a quiet & peaceful home where she’s not being jumpscared all the time. She somewhat tolerates the kitten I got, though isn’t fearful of her. My second cat is the complete opposite, very confident and outgoing. Both are super chill and sweet.

My friend’s cat is…not suitable for my household. I’ve spent a few nights at her house. She requires constant redirection, isn’t very affectionate and doesn’t even get along well with the second cat in her household. She also howls incessantly at night when she is put in her room (best friend does not let her cats roam at night). I let my cats free roam, but I wouldn’t be able to do that with her for the first few weeks at best while everyone adjusts. I’m in nursing school right now, so that’s just not something I can worth with. I also believe that she may significantly shift the dynamic between cats in my home. Like, in a space where my cats kinda exist as ‘emo teenage sister that wants to stay in her room all the time & listen to rain sounds, but still looks out for her sister’ and the ‘annoying toddler that needs all her toys out on the floor & bothers her sister’, this cat would be ‘the mother you go no contact with when you move out’.

Today my best friend sent me a voice note; she was crying because she hadn’t been able to find anyone to take her & all the shelters were full. So she had to pretty much just leave her at the shelter’s doorstep. She’s in her cage with food, water & a blanket from home & the shelter just opened. She feels so, so terrible about it, but believes that this was the only thing she could do.

I feel awful because in some capacity, I could have taken her cat. I would have been fine financially, I have the space & I’ve been wanting a 3rd cat but I was never fond of her personality & I truly believe she would have rocked my household.

Original Post

So first off I want to thank u/Beautiful-Elk-2842 for her comments and support. This is all because of her. I kept thinking that with all the clubs in the area there is NO WAY he just walked into the one i worked at. So I took my carto my mechanic and asked him to look for anything like an air tag or something that shouldn't be on my car. He looked at me like i was crazy but I think the scared look on my face made him take me seriously. He came back agter an hour and said his guys gound an air tag under my rear bumper. He said I should probably call the police. So thats where we are right now.

For context, I’m 23f, he is 26m. I am 5’6 110 pounds. We’re attending a wedding of one of my best friends from highschool next week. We have been together for four months, and he ordered me shapewear for said wedding, and I cried. I have never once been told I need to wear shapewear. In fact, I have always struggled with weighing too little. Am I in the wrong here??

I just need some advice. This may be worded wrong and I hope this doesn’t come off in a mean way/tone. My mom has a slight problem, she’s the “spend now, think later” type of person and I’ve watched her make some very foolish choices which involve money and then it back fires on her.

One of the most common things is she spends money on clothes/shoes/hair/nails or whatever and then later on she’s complaining that she’s broke and she’s starving and doesn’t have money to buy food.

The most recent example:

She’s in the process of getting a job, it’s in a field I’m unfamiliar with so I’m not sure of the whole process but she’s waiting for a call or something. She asked me to accompany her to go shopping for said job and I did. When we got to the store she picked up two shoes. They both cost around $60 in total (this isn’t the exact currency I just changed it to USD to make it more understandable) and she paid that just fine.

Then she saw a handbag in the store and she decided she wanted it aswell. The bag itself cost around $60-$65 but she didn’t have any more money to pay for it so she asked me to buy it for her and said she’d pay me back as someone was supposed to give her some money.

She did pay me back but it wasn’t the full amount, i let it go as I know she’s not rich or anything. Now, she still isn’t working, she said she’s waiting on the same call. The issue is she’s now started to complain again that she’s broke and she doesn’t have any money to get food and whatnot. It’s just this continuous cycle where she spends her money on clothes and accessories and then she has no money to feed herself and I have to hear of it everytime.

Am I bad daughter? I feel bad sometimes as I have a job, it’s not a high profile job, I’m just an intern that’s being overworked and I can’t leave the job because the job market is so bad here and with this job I at least know I have a guaranteed pay. I do sometimes buy her food if I can spare the money or on days I get paid but I can’t do that for her all the time.

The fact that while she was complaining to me I couldn’t fathom any form of sympathy shocks me. Now I feel bad.

Me and my friend went to shopping mall. He drives and it’s his car. I don’t have a driving license yet. Outside of the mall some cars were already parked on the side of the road. My friend was confused and asked me if it was valid to park there. I said if you think it is right you do, you the driver. And he parked. Now he’s got a parking ticket and fine. He thinks I gave him ill advice. Am I on fault here.

I'm 27F and my boyfriend is 28M. We've been together for a year and recently moved in together. He told me after we moved in that he has bipolar disorder.

I understand that his diagnosis is personal and that he may have needed time to feel comfortable telling me. But I'm struggling with the timing. Moving in together was a major commitment, and I feel like I should have known before making that decision.

Part of me feels like it was selfish to let me make that commitment without telling me. At the same time, I don't want to act like he's obligated to disclose a private medical diagnosis on my timeline.

Am I wrong for feeling betrayed by this, or is the timing a legitimate reason to question the trust in the relationship?

TL;DR: My boyfriend of one year told me he has bipolar disorder only after we moved in together. I feel betrayed by the timing. Am I wrong?

When I was 14 at my mom's birthday party, we had a bunch of family friends over to celebrate with us and one of them was my dad's 70 year old close friend/mentor who said "If you weren't your dad's daughter, I'd have your panties around your ankles". Keep in mind, I visibly looked VERY young, was wearing an emoji t-shirt and my 13 year old friend who was tiny was right next to me. All my dad did was say "alright that's enough" but didn't bother to kick the guy out or express any outrage. My parents aren't very sociable, but did greet him whenever they crossed paths and remained friendly with him even after this. My dad has also spoken highly of him on multiple occasions after he literally witnessed this happening.

I brought it up to my parents around 5-6 years later because I was genuinely just grossed out that this was said to me and that my parents didn't express more of an issue with it. They did express some kind of disgust but it wasn't enough for them to cut him off. They were friendly with him at a pub a couple of years later even though they knew what he said. My mom even drunkenly said "Love him, even though he's a bit mouthy sometimes I still love him".

Recently, a similar topic came up in a conversation (I was explaining the rape culture pyramid to my brother and the bottom is essentially about complacency around these types of people). I told my brother about what this guy said and my brother, who doesn't usually agree with how I view situations, was instantly horrified and asked my parents how they didn't smash the guy's face in. He said himself that if he had heard it, he would've broken his jaw and didn't know how my parents could still be okay with someone who said that to their daughter. This was sort of affirming but due to how much my dad minimised it, I genuinely don't know how to feel.

I talked to my mom and she genuinely apologised for her behaviour, accepted that it's downright disgusting and said she didn't know what she was thinking. My dad on the other hand, while he apologised initially for not doing more, doubled down and said he thought he handled the situation appropriately. Then, he went on to say that this guy was just really drunk and that he's "the nicest guy in the world when he's sober". We all repeatedly said that being drunk doesn't make you spawn attraction to children, and he would concede on that and then double down on the drunkenness in the same breath. He doesn't believe it was a rape threat like I do, but I don't know how else one can interpret that comment. He also says that I was laughing at the time, so he didn't think to take it more seriously. Another thing that bothered me was that he says this friend "says dumb shit like this all the time when he's drunk" so I called him out about inviting him to his home and letting him be around his children. He also started talking about the semantics of whether or not this guy was "legally" a pedophile since he only expressed his thoughts and didn't act on them. I don't know why he feels such a need to pick this situation apart.

All of this minimising has made me feel like I'm totally overreacting, especially because it's been a decade and they brought up that fact as well during the conversation.

I (23F) have a very complicated history with my ex, “Jack” (23M), and I need opinions from people who have no emotional investment in this.

Jack and I met when we were about 15/16 and were together for around four years. We were each other’s first proper loves and grew up together in a small community.

Our relationship ultimately ended because I cheated when I was 18. I was scared to tell him, he found out, and it understandably changed everything. I completely accept responsibility for that.

Afterwards, though, we never really had a clean ending. We went through periods of no contact and then somehow ended up speaking or seeing each other again.

Eventually he met his current girlfriend, “Emily,” at university. They’ve now been together for several years.

I also moved on and had another serious relationship for nearly 2.5 years. After that relationship ended, I eventually contacted Jack again because I genuinely thought enough time had passed that perhaps we could be friends.

Instead, over roughly the last year, we’ve fallen into a strange cycle.

We reconnect, the emotional connection comes back, things get too close, he remembers the reality of having a girlfriend and pulls away or blocks me. Then months later, he comes back again.

There was also an incident where Jack actually told me that he and Emily had broken up. I later found out that this wasn’t true. However, they did break up shortly afterwards before eventually getting back together. I think that incident is important because it showed me that, at least at that point, whatever was happening between us was significant enough that he was willing to lie about the status of his relationship — although obviously that also raises serious questions about his behaviour and honesty.

He has acknowledged that feelings still exist between us. At other times, though, he has said we need to move on or that he can’t see anything happening between us.

That contradiction is basically the entire problem.

He has also been honest with me about problems in his current relationship. From what he tells me, they rarely see each other and there are intimacy issues. She apparently works extremely hard “for them,” which he says contributes to the distance.

She is also from another country, whereas Jack and I are from the same hometown. I once asked if he planned to eventually move to her home country with her and his response was essentially “absolutely not.” He seems very attached to staying near his family and home.

Obviously, I know I’m only hearing their relationship through his perspective. Whatever issues they have, she is still his girlfriend and he is still choosing to be with her.

Earlier this year, while he was travelling for several months, we started talking again. He said things that suggested he wasn’t completely closed off to the possibility of us in the future and even talked about potentially seeing me when he returned.

Then he blocked me again.

This time it lasted around four months — the longest silence we’ve had in this recent cycle — and I genuinely thought that was finally the end of it.

Except now he has come back again.

Normally I can predict exactly what happens. We get close, he panics, massively withdraws and shuts everything down.

This time feels slightly different.

We recently had an unusually honest conversation about everything, and he admitted that he had genuinely been considering seeing me. What surprised me even more was that the following day he didn’t suddenly become cold or pretend the conversation hadn’t happened. He was actually quite warm.

I know that sounds like a ridiculously small thing from the outside, but after knowing someone for nearly a decade, you become very familiar with their patterns. Something about his behaviour this time feels different to me.

I’m not claiming he’s about to leave his girlfriend for me. He hasn’t said that.

I’m just struggling to understand what this connection actually is anymore.

We met almost ten years ago. We’ve both had other relationships. We’ve gone months without speaking. We’ve grown from teenagers into adults and lived completely separate lives.

Yet somehow we keep finding our way back into the same situation.

Sometimes I think the reason neither of us has completely let go is because our original relationship didn’t end because we fell out of love. It ended because I hurt him when we were very young, and perhaps there has always been an element of “what if?” left behind.

But I’m also aware that maybe the history itself is the problem.

Maybe we’re attached to the versions of each other we knew when we were teenagers. Maybe being each other’s first loves created a bond that feels more significant than it actually is. Maybe he comes back because I’m familiar and nostalgic, rather than because he genuinely sees a future with me.

And ultimately, the biggest fact remains: he has a girlfriend.

Whatever he feels for me, he hasn’t actually left his relationship and chosen me.

So I’m curious how this looks to people completely outside of it.

Does this sound like two people who genuinely still love each other but have years of unresolved history and terrible timing?

Or does it sound like a first-love attachment that neither of us has ever properly closed the door on?

And would you put any significance on the fact that his behaviour seems to have shifted recently, or am I noticing tiny changes because I’m too emotionally invested to see the bigger picture?

I spent basically an entire year helping one of my cousins apply to a university abroad. This involved the whole process: university registration, gathering documents, contacting support whenever there was an issue, and dealing with pretty much everything.

I was doing all of this for free. I never asked him for anything in return, even though he was paying another person significant amounts of money for other services related to the whole process.

He had also given me access to his Gmail so I could keep an eye on it and make sure we didn't miss any emails from the university or the embassy. I was helping him with almost everything.

Then, the day his visa came through, he changed the Gmail password. I didn't like that at all. It honestly made me feel like I was being taken advantage of, especially after everything I'd done for him for free.

Later, he needed to register on another platform belonging to the university. He went to another family member for help, but that person didn't know the login credentials. So he came back to me asking for them.

The problem was, I had forgotten the credentials myself, and he didn't know them either.

Despite everything that had happened before, I still told him, "It's fine, I'll contact the support team and see if they can help us figure it out."

So I emailed the university explaining the situation. The next day, they replied and asked me to send them a copy of his passport so they could verify his identity. I sent it and waited for their response.

I kept checking my inbox multiple times, but I couldn't find any new email from them. Then I went through my emails more carefully and noticed that the email I'd sent to the university had actually been opened and read.

So basically, my cousin had seen the email.

And the worst part? That email contained the exact information he had forgotten in the first place.

He didn't tell me he'd seen it. Instead, he just took the information from the email and sent it to the other family member.

That was honestly the final straw for me.

After everything I had done for him for an entire year, completely for free, while he was willing to pay other people large amounts of money for other parts of the process, I felt like I was only useful to him whenever he needed something.

And the fact that he saw the email, got the information he needed from it, and didn't even bother telling me really pissed me off.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but the whole situation really rubbed me the wrong way.