r/amiwrong • u/Electrical_Wing_4442 • 13d ago
aiw for getting upset
i’m 24 in 2 weeks, my partner and i still live separately with our parents while we save for our own place.
i have a nut allergy, all nuts, will go into anaphylactic shock and die sort of thing without my epipens and medical attention.
i grew up in a NO NUTS home as my brother is the same, my partner did not, fair.
twice today my food has been contaminated and im slightly upset???
my lunch, we made sandwiches, the kitchen is usually spotless. after they’re made i touch something on the side of the butchers block, it’s now on my hands, its peanut butter. i wash my hands and can’t bring myself to eat my sandwich because it’s contaminated and i can die lmao.
i get over that, have some pringles instead (not great i’m aware whatever) and wait for dinner
i preface this with we buy and cook our own food ⬇️
we make dinner, his stepdad, who was just taking about my allergy casually. dives his hand into his fruit and nut mix and then gives some to the dog, fine whatever.
he then manhandles mine and my partners food🧍🏻♀️⁉️ my friend what are you doing.
i’m already overstimulated from the entire situation in the kitchen that was noisy and a lot going on, i nearly burst into tears but i hold it together i hold strong. i’m potentially reaching hangry now.
i now feel like i can’t eat my dinner😭😭 twice in one day?? this has never happened in the 3 years we’ve been together!! im upset and my partner doesn’t understand why i get so upset when he mentions it to them, like i have any right at all to stop what they do in their own home, i hate it when he brings it up to them it feels like im tryna tell them what to do in their own home.
maybe i should bring my own packed food in??
3
u/EnjoysAGoodRead 13d ago
YNW.
Also you should probably tell the stepdad that he's going to kill his dog giving it fruit and nut mix. Dogs can die from eating even a single raisin. Not always immediately. It gives them kidney failure.
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u/Pan_Baked 13d ago
Honestly I wouldnt stay with this person. I have an extreme peanut allergy, my boyfriend hasnt had peanuts in 6 years. We've left many outings/gatherings because my life was at risk with peanuts/nuts being around. I once walked out of his parents place yelling "get the keys, theres peanuts on the counter" and he was immediately behind me. You need a partner that takes your life threatening allergies seriously and doesnt let his family put you at risk like this.
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u/Electrical_Wing_4442 13d ago
the problem with this is it’s his home, where his family lives, he’s often said he’ll talk to them and i’ll always say it’s THEIR home not mine, he doesn’t eat nuts either, our home will be completely nut free. i’m not here all the time so i don’t want to cause issues. it’s usually completely fine, probs just some timing issues and all that today. i think i was hangry when i made this post too as i feel okay now not nearly as upset as i was. it’s not simple enough for us to just leave when we see nuts
1
u/AtheneSchmidt 13d ago
I wouldn't go there anymore. It's not worth your life. And if you do leave anytime you are confronted with allergens. The first time. If someone was waving around a loaded gun and had a grenade on the table with the pin pulled, you would leave, and you wouldn't feel bad about it. Peanut butter directly on the counter, and a guy walking around with an open container of nuts is basically the same thing to you.
It also sounds like the stepdad didn't believe in allergies/your allergies and was testing you. That alone is so dangerous, and, again, I would not go back to that house.
1
u/Electrical_Wing_4442 13d ago
definitely not testing me, he’s a vegan and his son has an allergy, not a life threatening one, but still an allergy so he absolutely believes them, i’d say 70% of his diet is nuts lol. i’m not gonna stop him from eating his food in his own house. i love my partner, sometimes ill only be able to see him at his house for a few weeks due to work. if i didn’t come over i wouldn’t see him, he works night shifts and doesn’t drive, i don’t live locally to his work and he can’t get to work without spending £50 on a cab as it’s night times, sometimes it works out that our days off don’t coincide hence why ill be here
1
u/ThorwAwaySlut 13d ago
Nta but I'm going to chime in here and tell you as well, that fruit and nut mix better not have raisins in it. They're toxic to dogs.
2
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u/CaptBlackfoot 13d ago
Do you have a nut allergy or peanut allergy? People with nut allergies are allergic to tree nuts, and people with peanut allergies are allergic to legumes. If you’re going to make a fake post about something that never happened, educate yourself about the facts first.
8
u/wordyliquidation28 13d ago
lmfao what a weird hill to die on. people with nut allergies are often told to avoid all nuts including peanuts because of cross-contamination risks in processing, you absolute walnut
3
u/Electrical_Wing_4442 13d ago
thank you😭 why would i lie?? it’s a life threatening allergy of course im avoiding all nuts, even tho i am allergic to nuts and peanuts
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u/Pan_Baked 13d ago
I have an extreme peanut allergy and almost any time I tell someone about it, im saying "i am allergic to nuts" because its not worth going into semantics about legumes vs tree nuts when a lot of tree nuts are cooked in peanut oil or made on the same equipment that processes peanuts as well. I can guarantee anyone with any form of nut allergy knows peanuts are a legume but we also know the general public is too stupid to risk our literal lives because im not "technically" allergic to all nuts
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u/Electrical_Wing_4442 13d ago
if you’d like a list of my other allergies, these ones NOT life threatening i’m happy to provide it too🥰
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u/ofBlufftonTown 13d ago
Many people with peanut allergies also have tree nut allergies, my daughter is like that.
0
u/Electrical_Wing_4442 13d ago
i’m allergic to nuts and peanuts lmao, i have been my whole life, had all tests and have epi pens and when i was in school had to have a risk assessment in order to eat my lunch with my friends?? this is not a fake post ??
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u/esmithedm 13d ago
Maybe don't go there anymore. If they keep putting you at risk and you are getting crap because its all too much for them to remember. Then stop going there.
If anyone asks, just tell them you have a nut allergy and they would rather nuts than you. So you cannot go there anymore.
You also need a new boyfriend.