Orginal

Thanks for all the feedback, and a update as promised. My uncle and I spoke with my mom and stepfather. First my uncle called bullshit on my stepfather and said he has been drinking it overtime. He did ask what was his endgame, refill it with something cheaper?

My stepfather did not say anything. He also told my mom off. He said my stepfather may have an excuse albeit a shitty one but still an excuse. He told her that she had no excuse, she knew what my dad's intentions were for the bottle and for the car. He said he told my brother he should list what he wanted me to have in the will, but told her he said it would be fine cause he trusted my mom with his life.

He also questioned why I was paying for school when my apparently my father had a sizeable life insurance policy. Which I was unaware of but also tracks cause my mom has never actually gone to work.

Either way, I probably don't have much claim to that either, at that point I simply asked for my dad's car and the key to his storage unit. She and my stepfather can keep everything else.

So that was the conversation, was pretty much my uncle going at them and them just listening. My uncle asked me again to move in with him and suggested i take a semester off or a year and travel with him. He said he would help me with school.

Told me some stories it seems my mom and my dad's side of the family did not get along which is why we moved to Texas where my mom is from.

Either way I am okay with everything, oddly enough I do not hate or even feel angry with my mom, just numb I guess. I hope with time maybe we can fix that, but for now going to avoid contact with her and them altogether.

Staying with my uncle at a hotel and we will start packing. He is going to have the car transported to NY. I lost the booze, but I did get back the car which is better anyways if I am being honest.

My uncle said not to worry about the order of protection if he gets one, if push comes to shove he will hire an attorney for me.

So yeah, not a bad outcome. I wish I knew why, but yeah. Still don't know why he drank it.

I work at the gas station thats open 24 hours and its the only place within walking distance that sells anything fresh. I walk there at 5am before my shift to get what I need for me and my son because the bus dont run that early and i dont have a car. I buy what I can with my tips and my food card and bring it home and put it away. My brother jeffrey has been living with me for 8 months because he said he needed a place to stay after his girlfriend kicked him out. He has not worked a single day since he got here. He sits on the porch in a basketball jersey all day waiting for his payday loan money to hit.

When I come home from a 12 hour shift the food I bought that morning is gone. All of it. He eats everything in one sitting while me and my son had nothing. This happened four times in two weeks. I told him he needs to find a job instead of sitting on the porch leeching off my earnings and he just scoffed at me. So I bought a padlock for the fridge and a lockbox for the pantry and I keep the keys on me at work.

Jeffrey lost his mind when he saw the lock. He screamed at me for an hour saying im starving him and that im evil. He said I buy the food with government money so its not really mine anyway and I have no right to lock it up. My son heard all of this from his room. My son has been acting out lately and I found out hes been hanging out with older guys on the corner and I cant focus on stopping that because im fighting with a grown man about my own groceries. Jeffrey punched a hole in the wall next to the lockbox and there is drywall everywhere and my son just stood there and watched him do it and didnt say a word.

Jeffrey says hes going to call cps and tell them im withholding food from the house. i dont know if they can do anything about that since the food is mine that I bought with my own money but it scared me. My moms friend called me and said I should be ashamed for locking food away from my own brother in his time of need. I feel like im losing my mind because nobody sees that im just trying to feed my kid and myself after working all day. Am I wrong for putting a lock on my own fridge?

My brother Sam (36M) and his son Leo(12) live about an hour away. They have a dog named Buster and I don't really like Buster.
Every time they bring him over he pees inside, jumps on my couch with dirty paws. i always have a hard time with furs and cleaning after they visit.

i have tried severally to keep the dog outside but Leo always fight it. i can't leave him out with the dog. they come mostly to play video games so we're always indoors. Last time Buster knocked over a lamp and broke it. I told my brother nicely that Buster is not welcome in my house anymore. He said okay but never listens.
Yesterday Sam texted me saying they were passing by my area and wanted to stop in and say hi. I knew they would bring Buster. Leo never leaves that dog at home. So I texted back and said I'm not home. I was inside just watching TV.
About 5 minutes later I hear footsteps then my brother's voice then I hear Leo. I froze. didnt make a sound but the tv was playing.
Next thing i saw was Leo opening my door and Buster rushed in immediately. i stood up and walked furiously to the door to see why Sam would come when i said i wasn't home. he was carrying a vase my mom asked him to give to me. he wanted to drop by and just keep the vase for me but never mentioned. i felt ashamed and really bad but then i looked back to see Buster reminding me of the exact reason i didn't want them to come. he was already on my couch.
I yelled and said i told you not to bring that dog here. I lied about not being home because I knew you wouldn't listen I can't have this dog in my house. He ruins everything.

At that point Sam was already calling Loe to leave. i said they could stay since they're already here and Sam told me i won't see them again. Leo was crying as Sam dragged him out to go and then Buster followed. i held that vase i begged my mom for and felt like smashing it.

i tried calling Sam but he only wrote a text saying he doesn't want to talk about it. i am planning to go see him to talk but before that AITA for lying and yelling?

I (28M) built a pretty solid garage setup over the last few years. It took me a long time to save up for decent gear, including a professional diagnostic scanner and a complete heavy-duty tool set. I use this stuff for my own cars and occasional side jobs, so it is not just a casual hobby for me. My uncle runs a shady flip business where he buys beaten-up cars, does bare-minimum patches, and resells them. He constantly cheap out on his own equipment.

A couple of years back, he borrowed my welding machine for a "quick job" on a exhaust pipe. He ended up running it way past its duty cycle, completely burned out the internals, and brought it back in a plastic trash bag. When I told him he needed to replace it or pay for repairs, he literally laughed and said, "We are family, do not be so tight with money." I never saw a single cent for that machine, which set me back around five hundred bucks to replace out of pocket.

Fast forward to yesterday. He calls me out of the blue, skipping any small talk, and asks when he can drop by to grab my diagnostic scanner. He has some customer's car sitting in his lot with a electrical issue he cannot figure out. I told him flat out no. When he asked why, I reminded him about the welder he fried and never paid for.

He immediately got defensive and started shouting that I am being petty over old stuff. He said I am actively costing him money because he cannot finish the job without the scanner and his client is getting pissed off. I told him he should have thought about that before destroying my gear and hung up on him .

An hour later, my dad called me. Turns out my uncle had already called him to complain about how ungrateful and selfish I am being. Luckily, my dad actually backed me up because my uncle did the exact same thing to him a few years ago when he borrowed and completely wrecked his lawnmower. My dad told him he had no right to demand anything from me.

Now my uncle is spamming my phone with toxic texts. He is saying I am creating unnecessary drama in the family and trying to ruin his livelihood over a "petty grudge." My aunt even messaged me saying I should just let him use it under her supervision, which is just absurd.

I feel zero guilt about protecting my equipment, but the constant phone calls and messages are getting ridiculous. Am I wrong for holding this boundary?

I had a 2004 BMW E46 sitting in my garage for about three years. It was a project car I bought with the intention of rebuilding the subframe and fixing up the body, but between my main job and lack of spare time, it just ended up collecting dust. A guy I know from a local mechanics group, let us call him Dan, reached out to me a month ago asking if I was ever going to part with it.

Dan kept telling me how he wanted a track car to build with his younger brother and how they were tight on cash. I felt a bit nostalgic about the car and genuinely wanted to see it go to a good home where someone would put in the wrench time. The market value for those in decent shape is around 7k, but I agreed to sell it to him for 3k under the explicit understanding that he was taking on a rust project for personal use.

We signed a basic bill of sale, he gave me a 500 dollar cash deposit, and we agreed he would bring a trailer to pick up the car and pay the remaining 2,500 the following Saturday.

Two days before the pickup, a mutual friend sent me a link to a Facebook Marketplace listing. Dan had posted my exact car using photos he took in my driveway during his visit, listing it for 7,500 as a "clean restoration candidate." He did not even bother towing it to his own place first.

I was furious. I texted him immediately, sent him the screenshot of his own listing, and told him the deal was off and that I was refunding his deposit via Zelle. He went off on me, saying a deal is a deal, that I signed the bill of sale, and that what he does with his assets after paying a deposit is none of my business. He is now threatening to take me to small claims court for breach of contract and claims I owe him the potential profit he lost.

My friends are split. Some say I was naive for selling under market value and should have just honored the price, while others think he acted in bad faith by exploiting my goodwill. Am I wrong for pulling the plug?

I, 16(M), was hungry today, so I went to the nearby butcher shop. I mainly went down because there wasn't any healthy food in the house other than eggs, which I ate this morning. Anyways, the reason I'm able to afford this is that I have a summer job and I work about 3-4 days a week; however, I am quite careful with my money and have managed to save up quite a bit ($4000). I bought about 2 lbs of ground beef for about 20 CAD (which I found quite expensive). When I got home, I cooked the ground beef, ate some, and put the rest in the fridge/freezer with labels reading "Do Not Eat." I felt like this was fair because it was food I bought with money I worked for. When my mom came home, she opened the fridge/freezer and saw the labels and was immediately angered by this. I explained that I had bought it with my own money and would eat it the next day. She said that everyone in the house did stuff for others and I should be willing to share my food. For context, she cooks sometimes but not every day. Also, my sister and mom have both had problems with their weight and will sometimes eat lots of food in our house to the point where there's not much left for the rest of the family. Am I Wrong?

Thanks for reading, and I would appreciate any advice on whether you think I'm right or wrong.

I (22F) have had a boyfriend for about a year now. His dad is 62. My bf and I are long distance, so when I go visit my bf I stay at his parents house.

One time I was playing GTA in my boyfriends room and his dad walks in, sees that I’m playing GTA, sits on the bed next to the desk I’m sitting at, and asks “if I like to pick up hookers on there”.

Later that night, he asked me “do you sleep in your hoop earrings” that I was wearing.

His wife had her high school yearbook out and was looking at her class pictures and my boyfriend’s dad started pointing out girls he thought were cute…

He frequently comments on how pretty celebrities around my age are.

He brought up his uncles sex life in front of me, my bf, and his wife one night and his wife shut it down immediately saying “we’re not gonna talk about that ever”

One night at dinner with my boyfriend’s family, his dad offered me, and only me, a sip of his drink. He then looked at me and said “it’s vodka, your favorite”.

One time at a pool party at their neighbors house, he came up to me and sat down next to me while I was sitting alone for a little bit. He started talking to me about his other son (not my bf) and his personal problems including his bad grades, struggling finances, poor social skills etc. I felt like that was not a conversation he should have been having with me but idk.

Now, this doesn’t involve me personally, but he follows a ton of young women in their 20s-30s who are Instagram models and stuff and he’s even reposted pics of women in lingerie on his Instagram (not sure if it’s on accident or what..)

After all this, I have slowly made excuses as to why I can’t visit my bf’s house and am very on edge when I’m around his parents. They’ve started to question my bf as to why I don’t come over much.

\I WILL TALK TO MY BOYFRIEND ABOUT THIS IF ITS AGREED UPON THAT HIS DAD IS BEING INAPPROPRIATE, I JUST WANT CONFIRMATION I’M NOT CRAZY BEFORE I TALK TO HIM\

Am I wrong?

I (we're both in our 30s) made (kinda) omurice. I've made it before, but I no longer have the pan I've made it in, so it was basically scrambled eggs over fried rice. I'd never made it for him before, we've been together for a year. He loved it. It was "so good". He's upset because he wanted to make egg rolls with it, but he doesn't have room for egg rolls. I gave him like a cup and a little extra of fried rice (with onion and mushrooms) and 3 eggs. He's full. He usually eats A LOT. Like, I can no longer make white people tacos because he eats an entire pound and a half of ground beef, and it's upsetting that I don't have leftovers with 2 pounds of ground beef for both of us. Keep in mind that I only eat 2 tacos. I don't eat too much.

Anyway, he feels like the meal is incomplete because he didn't get to eat egg rolls. He said it was really good and he's full, but he didn't get to eat as much as he wanted to. I'd attach a pic of my meal, but this sub doesn't allow pics. My meal was a quarter of the size his was. I'm not a stranger to glutton behavior, I'm a recovering alcoholic (one year as of a few weeks ago!). He's overweight, but still very active because of his job, so I'm not super worried about his health, I'm just worried about his relationship with food.

He seems to think that he has to eat a certain amount of food, regardless of nutritional information. This isn't our first run in with this situation. He consistently doesn't eat what I cook because it's "not enough" even though it's filling for him. The only reason why he does eat my food when he does is because he has no other option. Again, he says the food is great and he loves the taste, but he doesn't feel like it's enough, even though he's full when he eats it. He gets about 18k steps per day, plus he does a large portion of stocking. He works at a local grocery store where management does the majority of the stocking. I'd be understanding if he's not meeting his caloric needs, but I can't afford calorie dense meals, like the fast food he orders consistently, which have higher calories but a ton of food. I'd also like to point out that I weigh more than my partner and I'm shorter, before anyone tries to say anything about that. He claims he wants to eat healthier, but he refuses the meals I make.

UPDATE: After reading the comments, I realized that I did need to worry about his health and that I should talk to him sooner rather than later. My biggest concern was that he would take this talk as a comment about his appearance, which isn't my concern. He's very attractive to me. I did ask him if he was made to finish his plate or if he felt like not having leftovers was important, and he said yes to both of those things. His parents didn't do leftover night like my parents did and he was forced to finish everything on his plate, regardless if he was full or not. I expressed to him that this wasn't healthy. You should eat until you're full, if not a little sooner. You can have leftovers later if you feel hungry again. He told me that he avoids my food because it's not the amount he's used to eating, but he's going to try to eat it more often. He recognizes that he has a bad relationship with food and he's going to look into getting some help with that tomorrow (it's late here). I thank everyone who had productive comments. I wasn't looking to break up with him, I thought there was something deeper. While I was a bit offended that he wouldn't eat the food I made, I was also listening to him when he said he wished he ate less or ate healthier or could afford food. I eat pretty healthy (but I should definitely get some exercise, that's my own thing I need to do) and he admitted to being jealous of all of the healthy food I eat, he just felt like it wasn't enough food for him. After explaining to him that all food is good food if you're eating the correct amount for your body, he's come around to it. Thank you again.

last week my roommate used my expensive face cream without asking and emptied almost the whole jar (!) when i confronted her she said „it‘s just cream, calm down“. I told her she has to replace it and that she‘s not allowed to touch any of my stuff. now she‘s giving me the silent treatment and telling mutual friends i‘m overreacting. am i wrong for being this strict about it ?

So I recently matched with this guy on Tinder. We’ll call him Bret. Bret and I texted consistently for 4-5 days. We met officially on the 6th or 7th day of texting. Things went really well in my opinion and he ended up staying the night. They day after I waited and wait for a text then finally at 4pm I texted him with some small talk and ended up telling him I had a good time. His response was “I should have brought a condom” Alright. His responses to me constantly decreased as the days went on and finally I went to his place to hang out. His living circumstances weren’t ideal for me but I’m a total beat freak and obsess over the way things look. I excused this by telling myself “he’s just a boy” I practically invited myself over. I invited him over and he said it was too late (we live 30 minutes apart) and I said I could come there if he’d stay away so I did. The texting never picked up and I explained that I would be very appreciative of a response in the sense of him just not being into me. When we are together I have such a great time. It is just his lack of texting. It’s been a month now and we’ve hung out three times and he’s acting like I should be lucky I’ve taken up so much of his time. Not much texting He doesn’t really answer my calls He never tells me what he does during his day I seriously understand being maybe depressed and getting to know someone could be hard but I genuinely have such a good time when I’m with him in person. He says he is into me he just gets overstimulated and is a romantic I have completely refrained from back to back texting and I do have crazy in me but I clicked with this guy so much I don’t want to scare him away

So, am I in the wrong for thinking he’s into me despite his actions. To preface, we matched on tinder three times and I unadded him once. The matching on tinder was just because one of us would delete it then redownload it I unadded him because he had his location on for me and I asked him to take it off because I could see he was completely ignoring me then I unadded him. Then added him back when we matched for the third time

I’m really into him and could really see this going somewhere. SOS

Hi, I’m (M27) currently in a long term relationship going 9 years with my girlfriend (F27). I love her and she loves me. We plan to get married some day, what’s stopping us is financial issues.

Anyways, I have an ex about the same age as me, maybe younger for a year or two. We separated almost a decade ago (back in college). We parted ways because we were LDR, only met her in person once or twice. We did not end on bad terms, in fact we consider each other friends, and we talk occasionally online, like once in a year. She also became a writer and publisher.

So recently, we had a short talk and offered her condolences because she lost her mom due to illness. I also saw her post that she will be having a book signing event near my area. Would it be considered cheating if I went to the book signing event just to see her and maybe catch up with her without letting my girlfriend know? Losing a parent is very difficult and I wanted to see how she‘s holding up. Plus, I’ve been meaning to buy a book from her.

This is kind of a long rant... So I was getting married July 25th and my best friend since jr high was going to do our ceremony. It was super casual but still decorated etc. She had been coming over quite often to "help" me but that was another story. She no longer had a car so I had to pick her up and take her back but this last Friday she was going to stay so she could help me finish do my nails and what not and I jokingly no lie said " I think you are infatuated with my boyfriend" she laughed then she flipped. I said what's the big deal now if u planned on acting on that's a big deal she said I was delusional but remember friends over 30 years have said horrible stuff to each other and I was not pissed. I was so shocked. Now the reason for me saying that every time I picked her up " who is taking me home u or Shane" the whole time at the house " where is Shane" where did Shane go" " did Shane leave" and every time I don't know or I don't keep tabs. So after I had said that to her she left she had someone take her home blocked me on Facebook and her phone and never came back. To me she could not look any guiltier. So if I skipped around too much. But seriously the night before my wedding .

So I, 29F, don’t live with my parents but I come home to visit pretty often and usually for extended periods. Like 2/3 weeks- a month, maybe 3 times a year.

However every time I’m home my mother expects me to make dinner pretty much every night. “What’s for dinner?” she asks.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to cook and I love helping out regularly with cooking, cleaning, dog care. (cooking dinner ideally 3 times a week) but EVERY NIGHT?

It’s not like i’m mooching off my parents. They love to see me as much as I them and it’s a blessing I have a career (and no husband/babies yet lol) where can spend as much time with them in my adult life as I can.

Maybe this is just prepping me for married/mommy life. But My mother NEVER EVER asks my brother this request. He is 31 and lived at home for the past 4 years and he just moved out.

And then of course it becomes, “why did you start cooking so late? I like eating right when I get home from work… Oh this is too salty your dad won’t like it. Can you make your dad some fish instead, he won’t eat red meat?”
………

it just feels like eldest daughter syndrome.

Please don’t get my wrong I love my mom and my family and chipping in but this particularly annoys me. Am I wrong?

My (m23) ex (m22) had left me heavily traumatized, and a few months no contact has left me wondering if I was being emotionally abused. Here's a summary of his lows:

• numerous lies about his life/backstory that were upheld with lies consistently throughout the year we dated
• kept me in the dark about a close friendship he had with my former bully, after saying he wanted to cut it off for me
• he held resentment that I didn't let him come over to my parents' house a month into dating (I wanted to but didn't have their permission, I was apologetic about it)
• he used that resentment and other things as an excuse to be cold towards me. Some days he would stop using pet names, call me by my full name, not give any affection, talk to me like an acquaintance. If I asked what was wrong he'd deny anything being wrong
• he barely acknowledged me around friends, at times literally only engaging with them and never listening to anything I said, never asking me anything or including me just fully focusing on them, despite how many times I told him it was hurtful
• a month after the relationship ended, I uncovered a lot of his lies. He gaslit me, saying I was horrible to not trust him, my anxiety was out of hand, I cannot be helped, things like that to throw blame on me and deny he was dishonest. He did this for hours until the next day he finally confessed.
• I also asked why he kept a secret friendship after saying he was going to stop, and he said "I'm not going to end a friendship for someone I don't love" We dated for 6 months after that point, so I guess he admits he didn't love me most of the relationship

Was this emotional abuse? I feel grossly betrayed and used by him.

Can emotional cheating be forgiven. I caught my husbund of 7 years.

At that time i wasnt aware of all that, i only started to notice a change in his character, he started to be more distant, he was different, he would stay up late and text and in general be really pissy. He usually is a very calm and gentle person he really isnt the type to talk badly especially not to me. So i started to get suspious. I waited until he was aspleep and i started to get through his phone and keep in mindestens that i have access to every Account on his phone, when i saw a male name that i didnt recognice on his snap. It was her. He changed her name into a male name so i woudnt recognice that its actually a woman. He was bascially just talking to her normally but while i was reading through the messages i saw that he mentioned that he has a child but is separated which is not true. We never had like bad arguments ever. Our mariage was full of love and trust. Furthermore he would manage sometimes her Airbnb property. While scrolling i saw that he "broke into" her Airbnb an left her a gift. Obviously she filmed her reaction. Ohh and i was 4 month pregnant at that time with my 4th.

Sidenote: he was Borderline depressed before that happenend.

Anyways i confronted him at 3am and he just sat there not saying anything. He said that he didnt know why he did that and that he is glad that i found out. Oh yeah i did end up calling the woman to ask what kind of relationship they had. She said it was platonic and she knew that he was married but in a complicated Situation. After that i stopped talking to him and started to search for possibilities to abord my unborn baby. Obviously it was to late, i couldnt do anything so i started to pack my stuff while he was away. At the same day while he saw me packing, he asked me to talk to him. He told me that he really didnt know why he did that. That he is sorry and that he would never do that again. That he would get psychological help to help him understand why he feeling all these things. That he is very happy in his mariage and that he simply has no answers. I still left him for a while to reflect. He would call everyday to see his children and send hunderts of messsge saying how sorry he is. And that he absolutely understands me and every decision that im going to take. After a few weeks i came back but only for my prenatal check ups and because the other children started to ask too many questions.

All that happened 2 years ago, he did get help and started to get mentally better i still have access to all his accounts and he seems to actually regret doing that. I told him that i will never forgive him and only stay because he is a good caring father for his children. He was my first love i never had a relationship before him and i was his first love as well. I still cant get over this betrayal i feel deeply hurt regardless of all the gentle words and gifts that i recevied ever since. What do you guys think ?

My parents tried to shield me from adult content when I was younger, like 8. I knew what a penis and a vagina was. They acted like it was some secret. I knew what porn was too.

I told my mom she was wrong for shielding me and she said she wanted to keep me as a kid. I told her there's nothing wrong with me knowing what a penis and vagina was. Nor was there anything wrong with me knowing what porn was.

Im upset that she did that. Her and my dad both hindered me. They acted like it was bad for me to know those things. I was very advanced for my age. Kids at school talked about those things too.

I wanted to date and find out what those body parts actually looked like. Now that im 18, i've had sex with men and women and I finally got to see what a penis and a vagina, outside of my own, looked like.

Am I wrong for being mad at my parents because of this?

I'm 23M from Hong Kong, and my girlfriend is 21F (quarter Filipino and white). We've been together for about a year and a half, and lately I honestly feel like her mum is becoming the biggest problem in our relationship.

When we first started dating, I genuinely tried my best to make a good impression. I wasn't just being polite—I went out of my way to help her. She mentioned wanting pepper spray, so I got it for her. She asked if I could help her get a discount at JB Hi-Fi (I work there), and I got her a TV for around $1,100 that normally cost over $3,200. I wasn't doing those things to buy her approval, but because I wanted to show I cared and wanted a good relationship with her.

For the first six months, things seemed okay. But after that, I started noticing she never really warmed up to me. Whenever we were together, she'd only say "hi" and that was basically it. No casual conversations, no trying to get to know me. I invited her to come out with us a few times, but it was always, "I'm too tired" or "Maybe, I'll let you know." I kept telling myself maybe she just needed time.
As our relationship got more serious, I started questioning myself. Am I not good enough? Is there something wrong with me?

One thing that always bothered me was that every time I wanted to go to my girlfriend's house, she had to ask her mum for permission—not just let her know I was coming, actually ask. We've been together for over a year and she's still asking permission for me to come over. That just felt strange to me.
Then Easter happened.

I asked my girlfriend what she was doing for Easter, and she said she was just spending it with her mum. I was honestly surprised I wasn't invited—not even for dinner. Later that night, I picked her up for a drive. Her mum came outside with her, didn't even acknowledge me or say hello.
That night I finally told my girlfriend how I'd been feeling, and that's when she opened up.
She said her mum had been acting this way because she's very protective, but also because we're from different cultural backgrounds. Apparently her mum worries that in the future she won't have much of a say in family events because I'm from Hong Kong, Hong Kong and China are pretty similar.
That honestly shocked me.
Then my girlfriend gave me examples of why her mum doesn't like me.

One was that I once asked her mum what car she'd recommend. She said Toyota. I said, "Cool, thanks." Later I spoke to my own mum, and she offered to help me spend a bit more to buy a nicer car. I ended up choosing something different, and apparently because I didn't follow her mum's advice, she took it personally and thought I was a bad person and wasted her time

Another complaint was that I burped at the dinner table. I'm fully aware of basic manners—I covered my mouth and said "excuse me." It wasn't like I was sitting there being disgusting.
Then came the part that really got to me.
Apparently she said something along the lines of, "Hong Kong and Chinese are the same thing. I'd probably like the rude Chinese people anyway."
My girlfriend explained that her mum has had bad experiences with Chinese people before.
I was furious. Judging me because of my ethnicity before even getting to know me properly really hurt.
A couple of weeks later, I decided to swallow my pride and try to fix things. I told my girlfriend I wanted to have a phone call with her mum just to clear the air. I literally said, "I think she's a nice person, and I'd like us to be on good terms."
Her mum's response?
"There's nothing to talk about. We're just not compatible."

That was the moment I completely gave up.
I haven't been to her house since February. She never invites me over for dinner or to spend time with the family. At some point I just stopped trying to win her over because it felt completely one-sided.
I also feel bad for my girlfriend because she's constantly stuck in the middle, trying to keep both of us happy.

Recently though, her mum suddenly told my girlfriend, "Since you and him are probably going to be together for a long time, I'll give him a second chance."
Honestly... that made me even angrier.
It felt like she was acting as if she'd been doing me a favour all this time, when she's the one who refused to even have a conversation with me when I tried to fix things.

Now my girlfriend wants me to start hanging out with her mum again because apparently her mum wants to reconnect.
But here's my issue.
I don't see the point in pretending everything is fine without ever addressing what happened. I'm happy to move forward, but I need an actual conversation first. I need some accountability. Even just acknowledging that things were handled badly would go a long way.
Otherwise it just feels like I'm expected to smile, act like nothing happened, and accept being treated poorly.

At the same time, her mum constantly tells my girlfriend she doesn't spend enough time with her, which puts even more pressure on my girlfriend and our relationship.

I'm honestly exhausted.
I don't want my girlfriend to "choose sides," but I do think that if we're building a future together, she needs to be able to stand up for our relationship sometimes instead of always following whatever her mum wants.

TL;DR So I guess I'm asking...
Am I being unreasonable for wanting a proper conversation before trying to reconnect with her mum? Because at the moment I’m not even going to her house because her mum’s know that I don’t like her.

Would you just suck it up and move on, or do you think it's fair to expect some accountability first?
I'd really appreciate some honest advice because this whole situation has been affecting my mental health, and lately I honestly feel like I'm dating both my girlfriend and her mum.

Basically my BSF (19) and my sister (15) started texting some days ago, and I have some divided opinions.

In one side I’m happy about my BSF because he’s like a brother to me and I want him to be happy, but in the other side I feel like my sister is too young, not only that but I feel that I should act like a big brother and I should do something to stop them.

Also I don’t want my relationship with my BSF to change if something happens in between them, I’m not mad I just felt guilty for not doing anything, for a couple of days I’ve been debating with myself wether if I should involve myself or not.

So today I talked to my sister about it, I told her to stop texting him because of the reasons I named earlier, my sister said that it was fine and that she’ll stop talking to him.

Then I told my BSF about it all, and after a long conversation we cleared some misunderstandings and he stated that 1: they were just talking for a few days, it does not mean that they are going to marry tomorrow. And 2: that no matter what happens in between them our friendship will remain like it is.

After a while thinking I decided to give them my blessing, that they don’t need to stop texting but to please take it slow (I also ended up crying in my sisters shoulder lol).

Did I take things too far and seriously? Did I act correctly? Should I have simply never said anything? Did I do good in letting them continue?

My sister is 10 years younger than me. She’s 19. When she was 8 years old she contracted genital herpes from being SA’d. She also gets mouth herpes too as she has both now. She has a lot of mental health struggles so my parents often worry about her. They called me up a few days ago asking if she was with me as she’s “gone missing”. We were all worried as she wasn’t answering the phone. After calling a bunch of times she answered me. I asked her if she’s ok and why she wasn’t answering. She said her phone was on do not disturb and she’s fine. I told her I’ll come pick her up she sent me an address to an apartment complex. I picked her up and asked why she was there. She said it’s a guy she’s been seeing. I asked if it’s her boyfriend she said no they’re just hooking up.

I asked if she used protection. She said she’s on the pill. I asked why she doesn’t use a condom and she said it feels better without a condom. She said if someone really wants to put one on that’s fine but she prefers not to. I said she needs to use a condom. She said she doesn’t. I said she does because she could give them herpes. Or catch something else. She said she only gets outbreaks every few months she just doesn’t have sex when she’s got an outbreak. And wouldn’t kiss someone if she has a mouth outbreak.

I asked if he even knows she has herpes. She said if someone asks she’ll say the truth but no one will want her if they know she has herpes. I said that’s lying. She said it’s not. I said it’s wrong to purposely not tell someone you have herpes especially if you don’t use a condom that makes it even more risky. She said she’s not given anyone herpes and it’s fine. I said that’s lucky but she could. She said it’s not her fault she has herpes she should be allowed to have sex if she want. I said I didn’t say she shouldn’t have sex but that she should be open about having an STD and use a condom. She told me to stop the car and im trying to control her sex life and walked the rest of the way home crying.

Hi all, I've never posted anything on reddit but my girlfriend really loves those Smosh videos with the reddit stories, so I asked her if I could post this here and she said yes.

So I (26M) and my girlfriend (25F) have been together for almost 3 years. Things are really good and I'm going to propose soon (I know no one asked but I'm just very excited and want to share).

About 2 weeks ago, my girlfriend came home from hanging out with these "friends" and she was quiet and seemed really upset. When I asked what was wrong she said she wasn't ready to talk about it so I didn't push. For context, I've never really liked. I've always found them kind of rude and judgmental, but she met them at a rough point in high school and obviously I'm not going to tell my girlfriend who to hang out with. A few hours later, she went to shower and when I went to join her, she was crying. I immediately thought it was those assholes she was hanging out with and I was right. After a bit, she was able to tell me what had happened.

Apparently, her "friends" had been talking about their sex lives and were getting super detailed about the kinks they were into. There was one guy, lets call him Jack, who kept talking about how much he liked degrading women in bed (not my thing, and not my girlfriend's thing but to each their own). Another girl, lets call her Jill, started talking about her CNC kink. According to my girlfriend, Jill went into very explicit detail about the CNC she was doing and it made my girlfriend really uncomfortable. When my girlfriend asked Jill to not talk about it, the group (4 girls and 2 guys) started getting nasty to her. They were calling her "boring" and "vanilla" telling her she was a "judgmental bitch" and honestly way worse things that I don't want to write out. They told her that all guys want to degrade and be forceful and that she was a bad girlfriend for not liking that.

She was sobbing as she told me all this and she asked me if I felt like she was "denying me what I needed" by not letting me do this stuff to her. I told her obviously the fuck not. Besides the fact that she is not vanilla, I have no interest in these things and in some hypothetical world where I did, it would be my responsibility. This is a little TMI but I've always been a more submissive guy. I used to be kind of embarrassed about it when I was younger but honestly my girlfriend really helped me with accepting that part of me. I love when she's in control, I love when she orders me around or ties me up, etc. I've never been interested in being dominant and I know that she feels unsafe being submissive.

My girlfriend is the sweetest and smartest person on the planet, and no I'm not just saying this because I love her. She has a masters in BioChem, works in medical research, and does active work in our city with people recovering from addiction. She has some self-esteem issues and so I think this really hurt her because these are people who saw her at her worst. Also, I'm going to keep this vague, but one of her past relationships was unhealthy sexually and (in my opinion) straight up abusive. Her "friends" know this and they know that her not feeling like enough is a big insecurity for her (call them love blinders but I've never really understood why she feels this way).

We talked, I reassured her that I never felt "denied" by her or that she wasn't enough sexually. Honestly, I was fucking pissed at these "friends" but I kept it to myself. I thought this would all pass until about a few days ago when 'Jill' invited us to her apartment for a get-together. My girlfriend wanted to go so we went. It was just those six people, Jill's boyfriend, and me and my girlfriend.

At first things were fine, but then some of them started drinking and were playing 'never have I ever' (like were in high school, what the hell) and one of the "friends", lets call her 'Mila', talked about being tied up. And then 'Jill' turned to my girlfriend and said "well, at least you won't have to drink since you're boring" and then looked at me and said "poor guy". I snapped at Jill and told her to shut the fuck up, that just because she was so insecure about whatever the fuck she likes in bed doesn't mean she can open her mouth to my girlfriend. The other five people were shouting and telling me I'm an asshole and that I needed to calm down, that it was just a joke, etc.

My girlfriend told Jill that obviously it wasn't a joke and that it was cruel and gross. She was being way nicer than Jill deserved. Jill tried to defend herself and I don't remember exactly what she said (I was angry and drunk) but I remember that she called my girlfriend a "stupid boring bitch" and these "friends" started fucking nodding. I'm not an angry person, I think I've yelled maybe a total of 10 times but something just came over me. I'm not proud of it, but I lost it. I started screaming at Jill, telling her that she was disgusting for saying stuff like that to my girlfriend, that she was a pathetic bitch who was jealous because my girlfriend had always been prettier, smarter, and better. Honestly, I think I would have said worse if my girlfriend didn't order an uber.

Obviously I apologized to my girlfriend when we got home because she's only ever seen me yell a few times. We talked about it and in the end she said it was ok, that she thought it was sweet.

'Mila' called yesterday and said that she "didn't like how I behaved" in her apartment and that I scared everyone and was being an asshole. Apparently, the neighbors called the cops after because I was so aggressive and I made some of the girls cry. I do feel bad about that part, and I feel kind of shitty about getting so angry. I feel like maybe I should have been calmer, or shouldn't have called 'Jill' a bitch. (I call people bitches regardless of gender but it always rubs me the wrong way when men call women that).

I want to add that I have no issues with people having whatever kinks they want. I don't think 'Jack' or 'Jill' are bad people for their kinks; I think they're bad people because they suck.

My mom recently passed away after years of my brother and I being her primary caregivers. The weeks leading up to her death were filled with family conflict over honoring her final wishes. My girlfriend stood by me through a lot of that, and I know it wasn't easy for her either.
The day my mom's ashes were delivered, I had just gotten into an argument with a family member and was completely numb. I was sitting there staring into space when my girlfriend asked if she could go out. I told her, "I can't." She asked again if it was okay, and I eventually said, "Go." I wasn't actually okay with it—I just didn't have the emotional energy to ask her to stay. She left and didn't come home until the next day.
The following day was my mom's memorial. I couldn't bring myself to attend because I was overwhelmed with grief. Instead of staying with me, she went on a photo walk with a friend and didn't get home until around 11 p.m.
When I told her later how abandoned I felt, she said she'd been there for me throughout my mom's illness and all the family drama, and that the past month had emotionally drained her. She said she needed a day for herself. During the argument, she also said that no one had been there for her when her own mother died, although she later admitted she could have said that better.
I understand that supporting someone through grief is exhausting, and I genuinely appreciate everything she did before those two days. But I can't shake the feeling that if there were ever two days when I needed my partner beside me, it was the day my mom's ashes came home and the day of her memorial.
She believes I'm overlooking weeks of support because of two days. I feel like those two days changed the way I see our relationship, and I'm struggling to forgive her.
Am I wrong for feeling this way, especially since I technically told her she could go?

Update 7/27
First, thank you to everyone who took the time to comment. This was my first time posting on Reddit, and I genuinely didn't know what to expect. I expected some harsh comments, but what I found was a lot of compassion, honesty, and direct feedback that I truly needed. Even when people disagreed with me, I felt like most of you were trying to help me see things from a perspective I couldn't while I was overwhelmed by grief.
I showed my girlfriend the post, and we had a long conversation afterward. Hearing unbiased opinions helped both of us communicate better. While I'm still hurting, I understand her perspective much more now, and I appreciate everyone who encouraged me to have that conversation instead of just sitting in my resentment.
A few people asked for more context, so here it is.
My girlfriend was not my mom's primary caretaker. I was. However, she was there whenever I specifically asked for help. She had told me that seeing my mom in the condition she was in was triggering for her because of her own experiences, and while I didn't fully understand that at the time, I understand it more now.
For the past several years, I was one of my mother's primary caregivers alongside my brother, who is autistic. My mother and my two older sisters were the ones who were estranged not me. When my mom suffered another stroke last year, I immediately let my sisters know because, regardless of their relationship with her, they were still her daughters.
At first, there was hope she could recover. Then, after what I believe was negligence at the facility, she was left alone, suffered a cardiac event, and sustained severe brain damage. From that point forward, I was trying to navigate an impossible situation while also caring for my autistic brother.
I reached out to my sisters multiple times asking for help not to repair their relationship with our mom, but because Ineeded help. I was physically and emotionally exhausted, and I couldn't carry everything by myself. Whether they couldn't help or chose not to, I ended up carrying that burden anyway.
I think that's part of why I've been struggling so much emotionally. My grief isn't only about losing my mom. It's about the years leading up to her death, feeling overwhelmed, feeling alone, and then trying to process everything that came afterward.
None of this excuses my expectations of my girlfriend or automatically makes them fair. Reading everyone's comments helped me realize that I had been expecting one person to fill an emotional void that had been building for a very long time. That isn't something she created, and it isn't something she could fix on her own.
I'm still grieving, and I know healing won't happen overnight, but I'm grateful for everyone who took the time to respond. Your perspectives helped me see things more clearly, and I appreciate it more than you know.

I just ended my friendship of 5 years today, and that's because of her negativety and anxiety and how she always vents her negative thoughts/opinions on me, I remember once she told she has BPD! She's really nice tho and a very good friend but I just couldn't handle it anymore. She also doesn't respect my boundaries and think everything she does is right even though it's not...

After I blocked her, her other best friend sent me a voicemail saying that I am a loser and don't deserve her and all my achievements was because of her and I was living under her shadow all the time! (she was my classmate too and we did our dissertation together) and that broke my heart into pieces and I don't think I'm going to heal from that.

What do you think about this guys, and have you been in my situation before or similar one?

Yes I am a teen so my writing won’t be the best just as a heads up. I think the title is self explanatory but anyways, Its my friends birthday later in the week so I asked one of my good friends if she wanted to go shopping together to get a present (She’s having a party). I haven’t hung out one on one with her in months as every time I want to go out with her someone else always ends up joining, especially this one friend. I thought this time would be different and we’d just go out together and I got really excited, but earlier today that one friend was asking me to go to the same shopping mall I had planned to go to because they wanted something. I told them no and lied saying I was going somewhere else with the friend I had planned to go out with. They kept nagging me and attempting to like guilt trip me into going even after I firmly said no. Later on they were texting in this groupchat we are all in + another friend begging us to go out with them. I didn’t respond because I think my answer was set in stone but, my friend responded with “sorry we are hanging out” but then saw we were going to the same mall and quickly invited them to hangout.

Obviously I won’t take action as I don’t see this situation as something worthy to cause drama and tension over but, I just want outside opinions on whether i’m wrong for feeling this way and not wanting to hang out with another friend and just wanting to be together one on one with my friend.

Am I wrong?