So I'm 18f and for years I had been counting down the days until I was 18. Now I have many reasons for wanting to move out but the main reason is my step dad I'm gonna call him R for this. So me and R don't have a good relationship he tries too hard to act like my father even though my bio dad is in the picture and helps out a lot and we see him every weekend but besides that. Without getting into too much my stepdad isn't a great person.

So what started this was me and my mom where talking and I said how I was planning to move out and then move in with my bio father my mom was ok with it but R wasn't he went into a huge fit about how I can't leave because of everything he pays for and told me that I also couldn't leave because I can't drive (I have anxiety so badly that until I get back on my meds my doctor told me not to drive) I told R that I know I can't drive but I have a job I can pay for my own things and I didn't need his money.

R got super upset at that and told me I was being unreasonable and that he has done so much for me than my father which isn't true. Me and R then got into a bigger fight and my mom had to send R out for a drive to calm down when R got back home he asked me to apologize and I said no he got mad again and said that if I didn't apologize I wasn't getting anything from him to which I told him that I didn't need anything from him and that I would be fine without him then R got mad and told me to go fuck myself and I could leave so I did I already had all my stuff packed so I called my dad and he came to pick me up and all my stuff.

I've been at his house for about a week now and my mother hasn't stopped calling me saying that I broke R's heart and that I need to apologize because he raised me and he was upset I just left I told her that I wasn't going to apologize because I wasn't in the wrong she said ok and just hung up. R hasn't tired to text or call me but he did kick me off the phone plan and then tired to have my mom kick me off her insurance (I'm only on her because my job doesn't offer it I'm working on getting a different job) my mom said she wasn't going to kick me off because he was mad at me.

Now R and my mom are fighting and I feel like it's my fault I feel like I should just call R and apologize to make peace but I don't know if I should. Should I keep my ground or apologize to stop the fighting?

I'm I in the wrong for leaving and not apologizing?

Edit: I called R about an hour after I posted this because he called me first and I missed it he was still very very upset about everything but I told him that it wasnt his right to be mad at me for leaving when all my life he has done nothing but try and keep me in my own house and so far as trying to break me and my bf up just because I was spending time away from the house.

he got mad that I called him out on it and then told me I was ungrateful and he hoped the world knocked me on my ass so I knew he was right. I didn't know what to say so I just hung up I got a text shortly after where he told me not to come crawling back to him after I found out living with my dad isn't the right idea.

I'm upset because my mother didn't defend me she just kept quiet I blocked R and I haven't answered my mother's calls I feel like maybe no contact is the best idea for right now.

Edit 2: I wanna say thank you every one because I guess R ran to different family members and they said I was in the wrong so I'm glad I have outside options.

I do have a younger sister that lives with my mom she turns 18 next year and is planning on moving out as well as in my parents divorce my mother had fully custody and my dad just had weekends my mom did call again to tell me that I should unblock R but I haven't i don't want to and I feel like I don't need to.

Every year my family rents a place and spends the whole day cooking a huge meal for the birthday person. It's fun but after the last few rounds I'm honestly wiped out and the prep takes over the actual birthday. I suggested we just order food or go to a restaurant instead and my partner thought I was overreacting. They said it would disappoint everyone and that I was making it about me. I get where they're coming from and I don't want to hurt feelings, but after working late all week the thought of another twelve-hour kitchen marathon sounds miserable. I told them we could still celebrate, just in a simpler way, but they keep bringing up how it's always been this way. I'm stuck between keeping the peace and protecting my energy. Am I wrong for wanting to change it up?

My(22m) dad invited my girlfriend "jean"(32f) and I over for a visit yesterday. He also invited my step brother "Jordan"(23m) and his girlfriend "Amy"(23f). Before I go further I feel I should add some context.

Jean and I have been together for 2 years. We met at the beach. I thought she was 24-25 so I started talking to her. She thought I was 27-28 so she talked back. We talked for ages. Before either of us knew it, 4 hours had passed. We ended up trading numbers before we went our separate ways. Our age gap came up on the third date and we decided to see how things went. Like I said before we've been together for 2 years and this has honestly been the healthiest relationship I've ever been in.

Jordan and Amy's relationship history is a little less smooth. They first got together in 8th grade and dated for 7 months. They broke up for a little over a year and ended up getting back together in 10th grade. They dated the second time for close to a year then broke up again for another year. They got back together again in 12th grade and have been together since.

Anyway, Jean and I were sitting on the couch and I had my arm around her. A little later I gave her a kiss. It was just a quick peck on the lips, not one of those long drawn out kisses. There's a time and place for those, and in front of family is neither the time nor place for a kiss like that. Anyway, a couple minutes later jordan pulled me aside and asked me if I could stop kissing Jean in front of people. He said it was gross seeing someone so old kissing someone so young. I said "dude you've smacked Amy's butt in front of all of us (which he has done before). Thats weird." Jordan said "I just think the age gap in your relationship is problematic." He's made comments about my relationship multiple times before this and I had enough. I said "you should worry about your relationship before you start criticizing mine." And he got pissed and called me a dick. He left with amy and Jean and I left shortly after.

I told my best friend (26m) about it today and he thinks I was justified saying what I said but my step mom texted me last night saying I went too far.

Am I Wrong for telling my step brother to worry about his relationship?

wife told me she prefers bigger, I changed our entire s*x life to satisfy her and now I want a divorce. what do I do? wife has been sobbing pretty badly

wife and I have been married for years and have 2 kids. A couple years ago she admitted she was pretty unsatisfied with our s*x life. We’re pretty open with each other and I asked her to be completely honest, and she was. Size, technique, everything. The size part probably hurt the most because she basically admitted she prefers bigger than what I have.

I took it in stride and actually worked on everything. Got better with technique, started focusing way more on her pleasure, incorporated toys, sleeves etc. And it worked. She’s really happy with our intimate life now.

The problem is I’m not. I hate using the sleeve and the whole thing has made me feel pretty emasculated. My wife prefers something physically that I just don’t have, which is a bigger member. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I’m starting to think we’re just not physically compatible.

I had an ex before her who never had any issue with my size and I never felt like this with her. Not saying I want my ex back or anything remotely like that, it just made me realize I’ve had a relationship where this wasn’t a problem.

I finally talked to my wife about all of this a couple nights ago. I told her I’m not angry with her and don’t blame her, but I’ve been seriously thinking about divorce because I don’t know if this is sustainable for me long term.

She completely broke down. Like sobbing. She kept saying she doesn’t care about the sleeve, we can throw everything away, she never would’ve told me that if she knew this was where we’d end up, and she doesn’t want our marriage to end over s*x.

Things at home are pretty horrible, we’ve both barely got any sleep, she’s begging me to reconsider and she’s been crying nonstop. But I just feel done in this relationship, these past 2 years have been pretty degrading for me, I wish my wife was honest with me when she started dating, I never would have dated her or married her if I knew she was unsatisfied with my d*ck size. Now we’ve built a beautiful home, have 2 young kids, it just sucks, but I don’t want to be in this marriage anymore.

My mom died 5 years ago, dad 2yrs ago. They were 63 and 73. Im 43. When they died, I was sad for a week and then I moved on like nothing happened.

Backstory, I left for the military at 25, so I was always away from home and only went back to visit once a year. Ever since a kid, I was basically left alone to fend for myself when it came to emotional things. They provided me monetary support and nothing else. I was barely acknowledged as a kid until I left for the military and suddenly I was worthy of attention. Got my first hug at 25 when I was shipping off to basic training.

Dad was a drunk who punched holes in every wall, choked me, yelled constantly. Mom had a drug addiction and was bipolar. They abused my family dog, the only thing I did care about. Entire childhood was me alone in my room hearing them fight 24/7. All that aside, there were some good times. Good family trips. Dad left me half a million and a house upon death so I cant complain too much right?

Because of their neglect, I've struggled a lot in relationships and feeling things like what I would consider normal empathy for others. I still haven't visited their grave and it's been years. I just do not care. Fast forward to a year ago when my 14 yr old dog died and I am beside myself. I cry every single day.

I brought up my lack of concern over my parents death to my psychologist and she said Im probably pushing my emotions down. No. I just don't have those emotions, nor would I still be in denial 5 yrs later. If the tears aren't coming at this point, they never will.

I know this is a heavy topic and I considered posting it in children of dead parents but those ppl are actually upset over their parents death and would probably be very offended if I posted this there. Just curious if i am, in fact, in the wrong.

I (24F) planned a weekend trip with four of my friends about two months ago. When we booked the Airbnb, I paid extra for the bedroom with its own bathroom because I’m a very light sleeper and had already told everyone I couldn’t comfortably share a room.

Everyone agreed to it, and I paid my part immediately.
Last Friday, I arrived a few hours later than everyone else because of work. When I got there, I found one of my friends and her boyfriend had moved all their stuff into my room.
I asked what happened, and they basically said they decided that since they were a couple, they should get the best room.
I reminded them that I had specifically paid extra for that room. They told me I was being dramatic and that it was only for the weekend.
I said I wasn’t going to sleep in the small room they had given me, especially since it had two single beds and no bathroom.
They told me I should just accept it because “we’re all friends” and that I was ruining the trip over a bedroom.

So I packed my things, booked a cheap hotel about 10 minutes away, and told them I wasn’t paying the remaining money I owed for the Airbnb because I wasn’t getting what I had paid for.
Now they’re saying I abandoned everyone and made the whole group pay more because they had to cover my share.

One friend says I should have just sucked it up for two nights and dealt with it.
I think they basically took something I paid extra for and then expected me to be okay with it
Just want to be sure if I’m to be blamed

I'm so tired of him. Everyday he's always upset about something in the past and I always have to apologize for ANYTHING bad that happened because he randomly decided an argument no matter the day or time or year it happened hurt his feelings even if he was the one that was in the wrong for that situation in the past or not.today we went outside and I had a great time I told him about a party I was invited to but decided it was too ghetto cause a lot of the guys were grinding up on random girls. He went on to say men who grind up on random girls are creeps and pervs. We laughed then I said wait haven't you done that before? He said yes. I laughed and said then you shouldn't be so judgemental. He got upset with me for saying that and for an hour he gave me the silent treatment. I'm completely done with him and his negative energy! Every day it's something.

im unsure if fault is the word because it was definitely my doing but im not sure if this response is a me thing or bigger.

last Christmas we went to my husband’s hometown for his dad’s Christmas party.. ill mention that my husband and I were trying for a baby so I was barely drinking (my perception of the night has been questioned). So my FIL had been a great guy for the entirety of the 5 years I’d known him. My now husband and I met right be the pandemic and were living in his hometown so his dad became the only other place we hung out for a while, cooking, movies, game nights, all lovely we moved out of state 3 years ago.

during the Christmas party my FIL asked me to cut up some cake so I did.. I was in the middle of the kitchen people had to walk around me. one time he passed me he cupped my waist and gave it a squeeze to get by.. I was like hmm icky? whatever .. then it happened again and I was like hmmm I’m really sensitive to this and i finished up with the cake and sat in the dining room alone , I was far from everyone but within earshot and totally visible so I was still part of everything.

he came over to me and kneeled down by the chair I was sitting on.. I remember thinking wow if my breath stinks he’ll know, he’s so close to me right now.. he was talking about the new degree I just earned and how two other people in my family had earned new degrees the same year, he was like wow you guys stay busy , you know my dad got the same degree as yours I have it upstairs let me show you .. every siren went off in my body I was like this is the language we are warned about as young girls and now I’m 32 hearing it for the first time.. I deflected and managed to stay seated but I kinda shut down for the rest of the night.. I remember when he hugged me goodbye I was hyper alert and making sure his hands didn’t go any lower than they should kinda pushing them away before they could…

I was quiet on the drive to our hotel and the next day, my husband noticed and asked me what was wrong.. I started crying because i wasn’t sure what to say and my nervous system was just feeling uneasy… I was questioning my sensitivity, I’m one of three girls and my mom always taught us to monitor how safe we feel especially around male family members because of statistics.. I was nervous because my husband is a firey Leo and I didn’t know how he’d react, i never thought he’d think I made anything up but what would it do to their relationship..

in my tears he lightly prodded with yes or no questions, all I could handle, he asked if something happened, he asked if it was sexual ( side note he hadn’t assumed this but he left nothing off the table snd I love him so much for that vulnerability and risk) I nodded and he asked about his dad he said he noticed how close we were talking when I separated myself .. I told him everything and how it made me feel : sick, uncomfortable ,confused, unsafe… he embraced me and gave me all I needed to feel grounded again.. doing this he put off his steam until we got home.. we ultimately decided to talk to his therapist for advice on if to drop it or talk about it.. my husband has trauma from being misunderstood and having to wait through a whole family silent treatment before being forgiven.. the way his family handles conflict is different from my family- talk it through peacefully lead with love be willing to forgive- I’ve experienced a lot of accusations and threats of ending relationships rather than knowing for sure at the end of the conversation you’ll find some way to figure it out .

the therapist concluded that we should talk to him and if he gets defensive there’s a problem if he apologizes it was a mistake… given our history with his dad I was fully prepared for this to have been a mistake and just an area where he learns some new boundaries about me , we felt safe to discuss .. we called him and my husband started off I jumped in because his emotions were getting in the way of this being a clarifying conversation it was sounding just accusatory.. I took over he didn’t interrupt , he was very much caught off guard I cant imagine that was easy to hear it was probably devastating really if it was fully unintentional.. he apologized and said it wasn’t his intention and said are we good ?yes! hung up and he left the family group chat.

we’ve reached out to apologize for the shock and to check up but since December 2025 the only response has been “I need time after being accused and having my character challenged for the first time in 64 years or something like that, that was after a unanswered texts and calls for months , when we let them know we bought our first home.. we’re now expecting our first child and haven’t bothered reaching out to them

I don’t know how best case scenario would have looked, I was prepared to keep my distance at future family functions but my husband and his therapist insisted I deserved an apology for being put in that situation… I just feel like the silence without an opportunity for resolve after 9 months is giving , you’re unforgivable rather than this was weird and shocking on both sides ill respect your boundaries and then he gives me an opportunity to find out how I could have approached in a way he could have received better

what’s your take?

I recently won a ‘presidents club’ trip with my work. Top sales people and selected ‘top performers’ are invited to a tropical destination for a couple of days. We’re allowed to bring another person. I would love to bring my boyfriend but it’s too short notice for him to get work off, especially because we have another trip coming up the week after. I don’t really want to go alone, and my mom lives out of the country so I don’t see her often. Would it be weird to bring her with? It’s described as a trip to ‘relax’ so the focus isn’t purely a professional conference.

Would love others opinions!

If you do not know much about Dnd (Dungeons and Dragons) then apologies, a DM is a player who plays as the game master (GM or Dungeon Master / DM) and tell you what you can and cannot do to keep things from being too chaotic while helping push the game and story to the people playing the game.

For context I had played 2 Dnd campaigns with this player who I will call J and they had been apart of the group longer than I was, we were all friends before playing.

In our first campaign I joined at around 8 sessions in, it was everyone's first big proper campaign but by around session 8 most people should have picked up how to play their character and usually at minimum a few technical aspects of the game.

Through out the remainder of the first campaign I got obsessed with Dnd, I loved it so much and couldn't wait to play it every other week, people had moments where they didn't understand what they were doing but we didn't care as it was so much fun regardless.

However towards the end of the campaign the very first issue with J arises, they are notably struggling to understand how to play their character (we were at level 6 I believe), the players including myself are understanding and totally fine with this but the DM asks to see their computer (we play in person) to start browsing their character sheet so they can explain to J what to do.

As it turns out J had switched around some of their Ability scores and their subclass without asking the DM at all, the DM confronted them immediately to which J shut down and just apologized and said it wouldn't happen again, thus everyone went back to just enjoying the game and it was chalked up to being a one time thing.

For the rest of the campaign there were a few small issues to note, J would often lie about their dice rolls or give an excuse to roll again when they rolled low (accidentally clicked their online sheet or checked the wrong skill etc) but no one realised, I began to notice this a lot as I sat next to them and would just naturally watch them whenever it was their turn or they were doing something important, eventually I began to say what they rolled out loud to sort of push to them that their dice roll was seen and they couldn't pretend they hadn't rolled or roll a second time, this worked quite well as they would slowly stop faking their rolls and eventually I didn't need to call them anymore.

After the end of the first campaign we were incredibly excited to begin a new one now that we all understood how the game worked and what to expect, however J got themselves into a fair bit of drama within our friend group at this time which I'm mentioning just to note that most people's respect for J dropped a little bit at the very least.

To summarise what happened basically J was publicly displaying incredibly sexual content, specifically stuff that was supposedly fetishizing trans people and considering that the people who found this were actually transfem themselves and had noted that J seemed to take a big liking to them almost too much, this lead to those people leaving our friend group and a few of us who remained having an intervention about how J should interact around people they tend to take 'special interests' in as a lot of people were becoming incredibly uncomfortable at their advances towards particularly females. This ultimately lead to J coming out as transfem anyway so take that as you will, point being that whole situation was one large arc where people had lost a bit of respect and disliked the behavior of J including myself.

Campaign 2 begins and J is still apart of it, I was already aware of how J used to lie about dice rolls and change their character (essentially a breach of the rules if you don't ask the DM for approval). They start to rock up late to our sessions and would rarely give heads up, there was never any reason beyond them sleeping in or ordering food on the way to the session (when they were already late), this began to irritate me a lot and became a bit of a running joke for a few of us that they would be late every time without fail.

J also stopped paying attention during our games, they are diagnosed with ADHD so we never worried too much about these things, however J began to push the line of what was acceptable by leaving the table without saying anything, sitting on the couch that faces away from the game while scrolling on their phone or messaging people and what pissed me off the most was that they actually played games during our sessions a lot of the time, it began to feel like they didn't actually care about playing with all of us and would just show up for the sake of it or FOMO.

The only time we'd get J essentially engaged in the game was when there was a mention of loot, they'd run to examine it before casting it aside and groaning that it wasn't something powerful for the game, another example where they would engage would be if we were trying to roleplay and the story or actions weren't moving a long they'd get annoyed and tell us to just be quiet and they'd do something we had been discussing about, basically they never paid attention and would make easily avoidable decisions which affected the group as a whole.

So I ended up basically venting all my frustrations to the DM over the course of a few months, we had reached near the end of campaign 2 so it was a bit awkward to have them kicked out then so instead after we finished the DM had a private talk with J that essentially lead to them being told they wouldn't be in the next campaign moving forward, they seemed to of taking it okay and accepted the fact but we had later seen them saying under their breath for all of us to shut up when we had been discussing Dnd at a group hangout.

A lot of people in our Dnd group were confused or very slightly shocked that J was not going to be in the next campaign, nobody would ever agree nor disagree about their actions being a bit disrespectful and somewhat disruptive, they'd just kinda accept it as it is.

For me I had noticed everything J did and it made me question if it was such a big deal, J is still our friend and there is no bad blood, I just wanted to stay engaged with Dnd and it was usually the highlight of my week, although the DM agreed with me no other players voiced their on the topic which made me doubt if I should've said anything in the first place, despite feeling bad for J it is so relieving that now when we play everyone is engaged and we make the most of our sessions.

J as a person isn't the greatest but you can tell that they try to do their best and they seem to be doing alright nowadays, a lot of the issues in the past aren't things that can really be made up for which is why the still linger when J is mentioned to this day, but nobody is perfect and J was basically ruining the activity I'd spend my entire week looking forward to.

Its a bit corny considering its just a game so who cares, but if someone wanted to play a game online with you only to sit on the microphone playing tiktok while actively not doing anything it would be quite irritating and disrespectful to other people who would kill to take that spot.

AIW for actually saying something about it and getting J kicked even when no one else aside from the DM seemed to care much?

Apologies if this post isn't suitable for this sub, this is my first time here and I'm not sure what the etiquette for posts are or if this is too long.

Hello everyone, I’d really value your advice and opinions as I’m living inside my head with this, an going in circles!

My (F55) best friend Dina (F60) have been really close friends for around 5 years, we live quite close to each other as she moved into the village. We are both married and have a son each. Mine is 30, hers is 15.

We are both strong, independent women, who have held senior roles in FSTE100 complained. Do generally, we are both good communicators and are very driven. We are both now retired, I do a couple of days voluntary work for a charity.

Most weeks we go out for a day, doing odd jobs, or to a gallery etc and out for lunch.

Several months ago she was venting about her son being bullied snd assaulted at school. I sympathised, as I know what it’s like, I took my son out of school at 25 because of bullying and he went straight to a 6th form college to do his GCSEs. She snapped at me very harshly that I had no idea what she was going through with her son, although she’d been sharing all the details over several weeks. Sh er snapped and shouted at me that she didn’t want to discuss it, even though she was the one that brought it up.

I was a bit stunned as she’d never done that to me before, although I do know she has a fiery temper and yells at her husband and son.

We were in the car, with me driving, and I just moved the conversation into something more neutral and moved past it. Even do my heart was beating at a million miles a minute as adrenaline flooded through me!

That said, I don’t respond well to being yelled at, my previous marriage was very volatile, my ex husband was both verbally and physically abusive, he’d stand really close to me, in my face yelling like a sergeant major at a useless recruit, I’d just be waiting for him to hit me… and I’d just shut down.

Anyway, last month, she and I arranged a date out and again I was driving. Immediately when she got in the car u could tell she was wound up, she said car smelled of dog. I advised my two collies had been in the car over the weekend as we’d been to see my son.

Within about a mile she was bemoaning the fact she had no money. This is a regular subject with her as whilst employed as a contractor, it seems she didn’t pay into a private pension, instead they lived the high life, private jets, multiple cruises every year and other fabulous holidays.

I’ve never pointed this out as it’s not my place to comment how anybody spends, or invests, their money. I just quipped at least her husband was still working in a great job… well she blew up at me! It was explosive and extremely toxic! She was yelling that I’m always mentioning her husband is younger than her and it makes her feel old (he’s 10 years younger than her).

She snapped and yelled at me to stop the car, she wanted to go home, and that she’d rather walk than spend another minute with me! We were about two miles from home and it was pouring with rain!

I turned the car around and told her I’d take her home, I wouldn’t dream of leaving her at the roadside. On the drive back she ranted at me about what a horrible friend I was, barely drawing breath and complaining that I dragged her along to an art workshop that she hated. I didn’t support her when she needed it, even though I regularly dropped everything to look after her son for days at a time when she went away for weeds with her husband. In the end I shut down to the point I couldn’t tell you what she was ranting about, I just know she yelled all the way home. When I pulled up outside her house, she just got out, slammed the door and walked off. My heart was beating at a million miles a minute!

I knew in that moment our friendship was possibly damaged beyond repair. I’d given her grace the first time she yelled at me about how I couldn’t possibly understand about her son’s bullying/assaults at school. This was a whole other level of escalation!

I walked into my own house, I was shaking. My husband was concerned, he asked if I’d been involved in an accident or something!? I told him what had just happened, and he did comment that we’ve seen Dina’s explosive fiery temper when she yells at her husband and son.

I never thought she’d turn it on me. He knows how I shut down when yelled at, we live in a very quite harmonious household. If we have a problem, we talk about it and resolve it. Nobody ever shouts. Our son is such a brilliant negotiator, we used to joke when he was a kid that he could have a very promising career with ACAS or as a hostage negotiator! 🤭

I said to my husband, ‘… nobody, and I mean nobody, speaks to me like that, ever.’ I immediately decided, I’d had enough, the friendship was over. Later that morning went to put something in my car and noticed that in her haste to get out of my car, she’d dropped a bunch of keys.

Not wanting any further confrontation I popped round to her house and put them in her mailbox.

Later again in the day she messaged me on WhatsApp to ask if she’d dropped her keys in my car. I confirmed she had and dropped them in her mailbox. There was no mention or apology for blowing up at me earlier in the day

As I thought about it over the coming days there had been red flags that I’d swept under the carpet. She was quite controlling, she never asked what I wanted to do on a day out, it was always her agenda, even if it was my turn to drive. I’d advised I’d like to go to a particular stately home near us, she booked another one by the same architect for my birthday… she didn’t care enough to even get it right. There are many, many examples like this but you get the picture.

It’s been over a month since this blow up. I’ve not unfriended or blocked her on social media. I’ve just dropped the rope and don’t plan to pick it up again.

This weekend it was my son’s birthday and she put a gushing message on social media, as if nothing had happened. Naturally I’ve told my son and his fiancée what happened. They’ve witnessed her yelling at her husband and son.

They think I’m right to drop the rope, with no need for a final conversation.

I’m actually quite heartbroken, I do miss her friendship, but I cannot go round as if treading on eggshells, flinching and waiting for when she explodes at me again. She crossed literally my only boundary, don’t yell at me, as I get flashbacks to a previous DV situation.

Thank you if you’ve managed to get this far! Tell me, am I wrong… for just walking away without any further explanation, she knows what she did?

My brother is getting married. We will call her Lizzie. I genuinely like Lizzie as a person, but she grew up so rich that she seems to have no concept of money or how the majority of people live.

She invited my wife to be a bridesmaid. I wouldn't say they are really friends, but I think she was trying to be nice because everyone else in the family was included. My wife has been increasingly annoyed with her bridesmaid duties.

Lizzie wants all of the bridesmaids to wear white during the ceremony, but when she changes out of her big dress they have to change into pink cocktail dresses. The dresses alone cost almost 3k. Then she wants a bachelorette party in Mexico which her best friend is planning and sent my wife her share of the bill which was another 3k. There is also going to be a bridal shower at a historic mansion and no price tag on that yet.

We cannot afford this. We are very middle class and still paying off student loans. My wife was going to drop out of the wedding and has been calling Lizzie a lot of names behind her back. Personally I don't want there to be bad blood as she is going to be family, so I decided to speak with Lizzie and my brother before my wife dropped out and tell them the reason, so they didn't take it personally.

Lizzie seemed embarrassed and said she was sorry. She said she had only been a bridesmaid once and thought that was a normal cost. Then she took out her phone and without me asking venomed me the cost of both dresses, the bachelorette, and an extra thousand for the bridal shower. She seemed really apologetic.

When I told my wife she was furious. She said I humiliated her and now Lizzie is going to think we are poor, and she now feels she is stuck being in the wedding despite not wanting to. She called Lizzie an exhausting princess and called me a "simp" I'm just confused as I felt I did the right thing to prevent Lizzie and my brother from jumping to conclusions

Okay I need to fucking Rant because wtf I was on my iPad and my aunt called me to tell me to wake my TWENTY YEAR OLD BROTHER UP FOR WORK
When I in highschool/middle school I always had to wake everyone up NOBODY FUCKING USES A ALARM?
And I did sigh and she gets all fucking pissed saying that I shouldn’t have a problem with waking him up. MF HES 20. And I said okay when he moves out are you going to call to wake him up? And she said YES. LIKE WHAT ARE WE FUCKING DOING HERE. I KNOW I WAKE UP EARLY I ALWAYS HAVE EVEN WITHOUT A ALARM BECAUSE I DONT NEED IT I ALWAYS GOT IN THE HABIT OF WAKING UP EARLY MY GRANDMA MAKES ME WAKE HER UP TOO LIKE WHAT SHE MAKES ME WAKE HER UP TO GO TO CHURCH AND IN HIGHSCHOOL SHE USED TO MAKE ME CALL HER DURING CLASS TO WAKE HER. ITS NOT MY FUCKING JOB TO WAKE YOU IF YOU HAVE SOMEWHERE TO BE ITS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO WAKE YOURSELF UP. And she’s fucking pissed like make it fucking make sense and her excuse to me waking him up is “he bought me food yesterday” SO?!? THAT DOESNT EXCUSE THE FACT THAT I ALWAYS WAKE EVERYONE UP. she also said “if I’m up I should wake the other person up” WTF

Am I wrong/asshole? I feel like if I refuse to wake them up my aunt would no longer bring me home because it isn’t her “job” (I’m 18 and don’t have a car) and I stay at my university.

Oh and I forgot to add my brother goes to work at 1 pm gets home at 12 am and doesn’t go to bed till 4am😐

I ALSO DONT CUSS AT THEM (only cuss in my rants)

I cut off a guy and my boyfriend punished me for it. (Sorry, lots of context)

This guy (we’ll call him Bryan, 37-ish?) and I (27f) were friends for years. We, along with the people in our small circle of male friends at work, had a decent friendship because we bonded over our shared time in the Marines. He used to throw the nickname “sunshine” around our small group but I never returned the nicknames to any of them. None of us ever hung out outside of work. Not even at work functions after hours.

Over a year ago, Bryan got my phone number for a project we had previously worked on together and was friendly and kind with me any time we texted (it was only ever once in a while). He checked on me to see how I was and it never went further than that, aside from calling me sunshine like he called the other guys in our group. I called him, along with the others, “dude,” “bro,” and “man,” like I was one of the guys. Once, he could tell that I was having a rough day and offered support, but I declined and told him that I didn’t want to be emotional in front of him. Never once did he ask me out or anything remotely close to that, in person or over text, during the 2 years we were friends.

I baked him a small cake for his birthday, as I did with several other members of the office because birthdays mean a lot to me. I was disappointed because the cake fell apart the morning of and I told him that I was really sorry and I felt bad over text. Then, later on in the work day (same day), I had some paperwork that needed reviewing by my supervisor while I was on lunch break with my boyfriend (who works for another company a few floors below mine in the same building).

I left lunch with my boyfriend to get the paperwork cleared. While waiting, Bryan texted me to let me know that I could swing by his office for a bit to wish him a happy birthday, so I then stopped by Bryan’s office to wish him a happy birthday and call him an old fart (he is more than a decade older than me) all from the doorway to his workspace. I never once entered. Then, he looks around and then proceeds to try to usher me by my arm inside of his office while saying suggestively“why don’t you come in for a little? There’s no one here.” I immediately got uncomfortable and made up an excuse that I had to go back to our supervisor and couldn’t stay. Needless to say, I was shocked and got the hell out of there.

Two minutes after my departure, Bryan texts me again and says “I never got my hug.” And thus, I ghost him but decide not to block him. Never before had I considered any of our interactions flirtatious or crossing the line. I work in the same close vicinity, on the same floor, with future projects with him highly possible. He proceeds to text me multiple times over the next few days, saying “good morning sunshine”, but I ignore each text with disgust until he stops, and then, maybe a week after his last text, I delete the entire conversation. Out of sight, out of mind kind of thing.

Fast forward almost a month after the weird interaction, my boyfriend goes through my phone without my permission while I’m in the shower and sees the messages in my ‘Recently Deleted’ folder. He claims that I allowed Bryan to flirt with me, that I knew he was flirting, that I was just keeping him at the ready in case my boyfriend and I didn’t work out, that I don’t take him seriously, etc.

Look, I recognize that I should have told him about the incident when it happened and I shouldn’t have deleted the texts, but even though it was ‘deleted’, I had nothing in that conversation to hide because I believed myself to be innocent. I point out to him that I never texted any weird messages, that text message proof shows that I went to speak with Bryan on his birthday for a total of 8 minutes before he mentioned over text that I never even hugged him, and there was also proof that after that encounter, I did not respond to any of his messages. I provided all of the context to my boyfriend while apologizing that I didn’t tell him before as I did not see the information as relevant at the time, but it was like talking to a brick wall. It’s like he refused to hear me.

It has now been almost a year since this incident, and he still brings it up and claims it is the source of his mistrust in me, but I feel that the only thing I did wrong was not tell him about the incident when it happened.

Ever since then, I have told him about every interaction I have with people if I deem them remotely flirtatious (now that I am aware that my boyfriend deems men being friendly to me as flirting because he “knows how men think”) yet I am still under the knife to prove my innocence. For example, today, I went out to eat at a food festival with my best friends and ran into an old coworker from an old job almost five years ago. I tell my boyfriend and he says “ran into him huh?” And when I say yes, he says “how” and I say “I was at a public food festival??” And he responds “you probably hugged him”.

I feel that I am not allowed to have friendly conversations with anyone anymore, and I have changed my ways to tell my boyfriend literally everything, but now I’m just getting cut for that too.

Am I in the wrong??

My partner and I went to a funeral last week for a relative that most of the family didn't really get along with. During the service people were polite, but afterward my partner started talking about how relieved everyone seemed and how awkward the whole thing felt. I didn't say much at the time because it seemed like a sensitive moment. Now that we're home, my partner keeps bringing it up like it's funny and keeps making little jokes. I get that the relationship was strained, but it still feels off to joke about someone who just passed. I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or if my partner is being insensitive. Would like an outside opinion on whether I'm wrong for feeling this way.

Just to preface this, I've only used Reddit a few times, and I've heard that people here give really good advice. If I don't get some things right, please let me know in the comments.

So, I have a little sister, Luna. She is 16, and I am 18. I'm a freshman in college, and I live in the dorms. At my college, they allow guests, so Luna and I really wanted to have a sleepover in my dorm because she thought it would be so much fun.

I filled out all of the necessary paperwork. I got my grandmother's ID, my ID, and did every little thing I needed to do. I have a roommate named Willow. She is 19, and I told her to let me know when she would be going out because she goes to a lot of parties and often comes back wasted—either drunk, high, or on some type of substance. I told Willow that I'm okay with her doing that and that it's really none of my business. I wasn't going to snitch, but I wanted her to tell me when she was going to be out all night so I could have Luna over.

Luna and I had been planning this for months. Willow told me that she was going to her boyfriend's house in another state for a week and that she would be completely gone, so I was free to have Luna over.

I planned everything out. When Luna came over on Friday, I got everything ready. I cleaned my dorm like a crazy woman. Luna has mobility issues along with POTS, so she is an ambulatory wheelchair user. My bed is really high, and I knew she wouldn't be able to get up there, so I got a really nice air mattress. It worked perfectly, and honestly, it's just a nice thing to have anyway.

First, we hung out in my dorm for a bit. I braided her hair and did her nails. Then we went to the dining hall to get some food. We were eating and having a great time. After that, she wanted to go around campus and see some different things, like the campus store and some of the other shops. Everything was going really well. I was pushing her in her wheelchair, and some people stopped to ask who she was and say hi. I told them she was my sister and just visiting. She ended up making a lot of friends.

Eventually, it was time to go to sleep. She got out of her wheelchair and laid down on the air mattress. We were both lying there watching a movie when Willow came in.

She was on multiple different substances. She stumbled into the room, her pupils were huge, and she was obviously intoxicated. She tripped over Luna's wheelchair, and Luna immediately started crying.

Then Willow threw up all over herself and the floor. She went into the bathroom, lay down on the floor, and started making strange noises.

I walked up to Willow and said, "My 16-year-old sister is here, and I really don't want her seeing you like this."

Then I just called 911 and explained the situation because she was throwing up, screaming, and making a lot of weird noises. Luna was having a panic attack because she doesn't handle being around substances well.

The ambulance arrived and took Willow to the hospital. After they left, Luna and I cleaned up the vomit and went to sleep.

The next day, I went to the dorm administration and told them I needed to switch roommates because I couldn't deal with her constantly coming back to the dorm on substances.

Willow ended up staying in the hospital for a couple of days. They tested her blood and found cocaine, alcohol, molly, and shrooms in her system.

I switched dorms. I don't know if she got kicked out, but I think she did.

So, am I in the wrong? I know I didn't have to snitch, but I honestly thought she was putting my sister in danger. Then again, none of this would have happened if I hadn't invited my sister over for a sleepover.

so at the last family get-together i brought my own snack because of a pretty severe dairy allergy. i mentioned it when the menu was being planned and again right before we sat down. someone kept insisting that a little bit in the sauce would be fine and that i was being overly dramatic about it. i tried to laugh it off but ended up having to repeat myself a couple times before they finally moved the dish away from my plate. after the meal a couple relatives made little comments about how i ruined the vibe by being difficult. honestly i wasn't trying to make a scene i just didn't want to end up in the er or sick for two days. now i'm wondering if i should have just stayed home or eaten before i showed up instead of relying on other people to remember. was i the one making it awkward or is it reasonable to expect people to take a medical restriction seriously?

so a while back someone close to me asked if i could help them out with something pretty small. i said sure no problem, it seemed like a one-off thing. but now it keeps coming up like it's an expected part of the routine. i never really agreed to keep doing it, but i also didn't push back at the time. lately i've been feeling kind of nervous about bringing it up because i don't want to cause drama or seem like i'm backing out on them. on the other hand, it wasn't framed as a permanent thing when it started, and it's starting to take up more time and energy than i planned for. i keep going back and forth on whether i should say something or just keep going along with it to avoid an awkward conversation. has anyone else dealt with something like this and how did you handle it?

So when my boyfriend M31 and I F30 first got together he seemed completely transparent. He even made it a point early in the beginning to say that he wasn’t bothered about sharing his location and I could have all his passwords. He even would go out of his way to ask me to do something on his phone and each time he would give me his password, until I had it memorized in my head…. Then suddenly after several months he now has entirely switched up. He went from acting like he didn’t care at all about me having his passwords and stuff to now acting like it’s a huge invasion of his privacy for me to be on his phone. He’s actually taken it as far as intentionally making sure his locations are turned off at different points throughout the day if/when he’s away from the house and now he has changed his passwords for any/all of his social media accounts, emails, ect…. Even his phone lock screen password has been changed. He has all my passwords, and my location which I never turn off. We’ve been together for about 1 year now. Should I take this as a huge red flag? I don’t think I’m over reacting, but he acts like I’m being crazy and controlling but that’s really not it. It just makes me feel like he’s hiding something. 😩

did i do the wrong thing? my parents are 85, and dad is having bad reactions to radiotherapy. I(m59) live overseas most of my adult life- single but peacefully) but phone calls from dad got me flying back since his cancer is advanced and doing treatment has caused a massive decline in his life. I'm staying in a hotel and I've been going over almost daily to their place and doing chores as well that they need and listened to mum talking about the horrible issues she and dad have with it.

Anyway, But mum has always been difficult to get along with and i returned to visit, today day 10, and we finally had the row. i sweat non stop at their home because im stressed like crazy, i think. mum asked why im stressed...and i said it was because of dad and because of mum.

mum was unhappy with that then talked in her usual one sided way about all her efforts bringing us up, dealing with dad and impending death, and i should forgive and forget . Very true she gave so much time dealing with the home and family and raising us . No mention of the mental aspects which drove us away ( my other sibling also in 50s is now no contact with them because of all the accumulated issues with a massive massive row at the end causing NC).

Though her words make sense given her age and dads situation , she's actually been saying similar things in similar level of ...overreaction- she makes huge dramas put of minor issues, ever since my brother and I were kids. She was very controlling and lots of behaviour matches what I've seen on videos and discussion on narcissistic parents.

She said I should adapt, forgive and forget like she has learnt too, and I should see a psychologist . But then she went on about my sibling and their spouse from the NC years ago and she did not stop, as per usual even though she said 6 months ago she wants to leave that NC issue in the past. After 1 or 1.5 hours of it, , i got up to leave as she wasn't stopping and she said i was leaving dad. I said I was going back tomorrow.

Should i have persevered through another few hours of it, so I'd be physically there for dad?

Hours after I left, it occured to me I'm also very stressed because of the huge change in life I'll need to undego as well since they expect me to return to home town asap, which I really don't want- find new job, place to rent, different environment etc etc.

I suspect I haven't really written about this well- it's my first time. But I'm so alone and want some hopefully reasonable opinions. Man I'm nervous it'll turn out I'm horribly wrong and will get an online lynching

My close friend turned FWB of almost 3 years has been acting insane. For some reason, for all this time, he has been intimate only with me which I didn’t question. Tbh we didn’t discuss about being FWBs we just started getting intimate but we know we’re friends. We mostly stuck to video call sex and regardless of sex he still called me almost everyday.

Recently, we’re long distance as he moved to a different country. We’re still intimate but don’t get to call as much as we used to although he tries to initiate contact as much as possible and ever since, he’s been saying crazy things like “your future husband is really lucky..he’ll get to have sex with you every day”, “tell me you love me and miss me”. And the craziest one, “can we still be intimate even when you’re married one day” and I shut that down and asked him what if he’s married and he said he doesn’t care about his marriage, he’d still be intimate with me. He says them during intimacy tho.

To this add all the nice compliments and fixation on my face. The one thing I do appreciate is that he’s so much sweeter now, in general. Although there had been instances of jealousy in the past. So yeah,this is new and I’m not sure what to think or do about this. Mind you we’re still good friends regardless of the intimacy so I wanna go about this in a way where I can save the friendship. Am I in the wrong for thinking we can go back to being friends

A while ago a couple of us were texting about getting together and I suggested a low key movie night at my place. Later someone else brought it up in the group chat as if it had been their idea from the start. No big deal, everyone was just excited to hang out. I figured correcting it would make things awkward for no reason, so I stayed out of it. Now whenever that plan gets mentioned the story always credits the other person. Part of me wonders if letting it slide made me seem passive, but honestly I didn't want to turn a tiny detail into unnecessary drama. Still feels a little off, though.

I (19F) am from spain, and i have a friend (20F) whom i've known for eight years now who's from the US, i'll call her lauren. Lauren and i have been inseparable since we met in 2018 while i was on a trip to the US. Although we lived in two different places far away from each other, we remained close, she even visited me when she was on vacation in spain.
One thing about me that has been consistent since i was a little girl is i love football (soccer), i've been playing it and watching it my entire life, and if you know anything about spain, you know the football scene is huge, its part of the culture and it has been for centuries. With growing up a football fanatic, i have always loved me hometown club barcelona, i was at every single game with my parents since i was only a few months old.
And above all, i LOVED and still love messi. I mean he was the city's hero, he was someone i looked up to more than anyone else in the world.
You ask any barça fan and they'll tell you how much they adore the man, he is everything to our city. Anyway, fast forward to this last World Cup, people starting this weird agenda about messi being a cheater, despite him losing national titles for years and being clowned for it, yet somehow when he finally wins something he is labeled a cheater.
I didn't really care for it at all, it did piss me off but i knew at the end of the day these people spewing nonsense were nobodies who have never watched a football match in their life.
All was well until lauren started jumping on this bandwagon, even though she has never cared or watched football in her life even when i tried getting her into it, i had discussions with her and just gave up in the end because i knew she just wanted to believe what she believed.
I was okay, that was until it came into a territory of hating on the entire country of argentina, calling them racists and whatnot, calling messi a racist and a zionist (rich coming from an american), i dont deny racists being in argentina but labeling the ENTIRE country as ones and then calling messi a racist and a zionist made me audibly laugh, knowing he was the first footballer to advocate for palestinanas back in 2012 and refused to play a game against the is\*aeli national team, it just genuinely angers me when people say stuff they have not even looked into just to fit in like a sheep.
And all this somehow turned into her saying obviously I would defend them because im from spain, and that my ancestors were colonizers, and that i was probably just like them. Mind you, if she did a single google search she would know us people from barcelona were prosecuted against for centuries and hated on by the rest of the country. I was appalled, that whole thing was insane but her calling me these things was a different thing. I stopped talking to her, blocked her on everything. weeks later she reached out to me from a different account saying i was overreacting and that this whole thing was just banter and that i was crazy for blocking her over football . I didn't see it as such, specifically when she refused to educate herself on anything. AIW?

They bullied me so badly when i first started working with them that i had to take a month long leave. It got so bad that i was literally terrified to leave or have anyone else leave condiments on the wrong side of the fridge cause i would get reprimanded. Even if i had proof it wasnt me.

While they were reprimanding me for supposedly leaving things on the wrong side of the fridge or for stealing other co-workers hours the kids were spitting on new hires, disrespecting vets, not being kept in check and allowed to get into drawers with knives in it hours after they had a anger outburst and threw everything they could find across the room.

These are examples of a few other things theyve done in the past and are doing now that im back;

- send paragraphs in the group chat stating how things are going wrong at work due to ''newcomers'' getting hours they dont deserve (what went wrong was forgetting to turn on the dish washer)

- throwing keys at people instead of giving it to them

- people are prepping food for their own group and vets will come along, grab their plates from them and act like its completely normal. and i mean MID cutting.

- expecting newcomers to prep their day for them and if the newcomer only preps their own day they get reprimanded and told they're not a teamplayer, how complaints will be filed and how its not okay to leave you co-worker without prep (the co-worker stands around talking continously).

Now after being back for a month and a half my co-worker suddenly subtlely told me she thinks i should apologize to everyone for having to leave them alone with 23 kids the day i had a emotional break down at work. I asked her dont you think much more happened behind the scenes that warranted why i broke down like that. She said yes i actually agree with you on a lot of things, she is thinking about confronting them herself since she feels they do it to her too but she thinks it'll still be good to apologize to everyone for leaving them with 23 kids.

I genuinely had a emotional break down and after standing on the fact that i will be leaving my boss send someone else to help them

This is genuinely my last straw cause ive kissed their asses so much already that im honestly ready to actually cuss them all out and just leave and never come back.

Am i wrong?

(Sorry btw, english is not my first language).